It’s crazy. He has like nothing bad to say about anybody.
@voteZDLR
3 жыл бұрын
It's a good thing. I mean, it's so easy to blame anything for your circumstances but at the end of the day you put those substances in you. It's OK. Figure out why, and take responsibility for it. And it seems like he has. He's very close to actually I think repairing himself for good I think if he can just get clean one more time. God willing the fentanyl shit doesn't take him first. That shit is no joke.
@jpaul5387
3 жыл бұрын
When your dopamine level for hours is is 5x the level of an orgasm then you wouldn't have much bad to say about ppl either lol
@MeezerGurlMakes
3 жыл бұрын
Except himself...
@scratch5191
3 жыл бұрын
Umm he's high. He's really really high and he is talking about himself and someone is listening. He feels interesting, but know this, he's not. He's a cliche. I have a new neighbor who hustled a voucher for being homeless. She/ he has a whole rotation of people from the park down the street. The washing machine is either in use or broken now. The outside outlets are charging stations and the fun never stops. You're being fed manipulation. You are constantly bombarded with their problems and you are their solution until you have to establish you have problems too . So before you get dazzled by this hug fest go to a drug court and hear about their children. They are generally taken away for reasons other than their parents being intoxicated. They are people. People who love themselves in a most peculiar manner because as much as they talk about their lives and plans, they watch porn, try to have sex, neglect themselves and the property they " live" in. Are engaged in their drug hustle, sleeeeeeeep for a month or until the next opportunity to keep the dream alive emerges. He's a liar and he's high and he's going to get paid by the guy shooting this.
@chonkcat7362
3 жыл бұрын
@@jpaul5387 I shouldn't laugh, but yea it is like that lmao.
@AH-zm2wf
3 жыл бұрын
This is an incredible interview. What an eloquent man. He allowed himself to be so vulnerable here. I wish the absolute best for him.
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
unfortunately we lost stephen to an overdose. This is my little brother.... still hard knowing the drugs took him from us. We all tried so hard to help. Hes no longer struggling :(
@AH-zm2wf
5 ай бұрын
@@heidixlouise138 I am incredibly sorry you lost your brother. May he rest in peace and may you heal from your grief. I know I am a stranger to you, but I'm sending you love.
@jwardbass4452
3 жыл бұрын
I can only imagine what he’s like when he’s not using, he’s highly intelligent and has a nuanced view on life.
@mattheinemann3259
3 жыл бұрын
Believe it or not most addicts are. We have to be smart and resourceful. I still drink every once in a while but have been heroin and fentynal clean for two years and like two months, that shit made me pure evil.
@Evielove36
3 жыл бұрын
Hes like this..he's a great person. Funny and very caring.
@Mutantcy1992
3 жыл бұрын
And he's got great comedic timing
@cadernin9714
3 жыл бұрын
Matt Heinemann what made you decide to take fentynal in the first place.
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
hes an absolute fun and hilarious person... he was a very emotional and loving child. unfortunately we lost stephen to an overdose. This is my little brother.... still hard knowing the drugs took him from us. We all tried so hard to help. Hes no longer struggling :(
@skylerjackson146
3 жыл бұрын
I think we all would love an update from Stephan. I want to see him back on top, he has it in him, and he deserves it. 💕
@blakebreuhan3194
Жыл бұрын
Unfortunately he’s since passed away 💔such an amazing person gone too soon. I wish I had good new to share 😢
@TSUNAMI-MAMI
10 ай бұрын
@@blakebreuhan3194what happened???
@heidixlouise138
4 ай бұрын
Today is a year that we lost him. Hes my little brother... he overdosed on fentanyl on skidrow unfortunately. 😞
@Tenacious1952
3 ай бұрын
@@heidixlouise138I am so very sorry for you and your family. He was a special, wonderful human being even though I only knew him from this video.
@ariesfairie11
3 жыл бұрын
So many of the people you showcase, who are caught in the addiction stronghold, are incredibly real, funny, and intelligent. It breaks my heart they're stuck in the cycle. But there is always hope. Stay strong, Stephan!
@Fishing-gs9ku
3 жыл бұрын
Very true. As someone that’s been through it, it’s a living hell. You’re just TRYING to feel normal ALL the time
@bhief473
3 жыл бұрын
In my experience suffering builds character. Break the cycle and reinvent yourself 🙏
@misspriss4439
3 жыл бұрын
All addicts are real ppl.. Thyr hurt ppl. But still all the things describe.. life is harder for some ppl.. ppl just can't deal sometimes.
@nishachamlingrai7444
3 жыл бұрын
@@bhief473 q1q
@juliequigley637
3 жыл бұрын
Very well said. I appreciate you understanding the cycle. But I think we all know no one can reach as deep as a struggling addict and come out on the other side being successful. We addicts are definitely the most intelligent and understanding people!!
@silverliningsoap
3 жыл бұрын
"I possessed humility because I remained teachable." Smart guy! I hope he is able to beat his addictions. He deserves a cool life, not just a drug free life.
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
he was so so intelligent, always loved to read and learn...unfortunately we lost stephen to an overdose. This is my little brother.... still hard knowing the drugs took him from us. We all tried so hard to help. Hes no longer struggling :(
@Masonwmasters
2 ай бұрын
@@heidixlouise138hate to read this :/
@marisaberner8056
3 жыл бұрын
Damn when he broke about his mom, the humanity that poured out of him was so sad and beautiful.
@davidx4120
3 жыл бұрын
Almost pitiful, but NOT. He needs his mama right NOW. I know what he's going through minus the drugs.
@tiffaniroman3045
2 жыл бұрын
@brooks brown, you are right he does need his mom. My little brother uses drugs because of my mother's death over 20 years ago smh, and I don't know how to help him.
@OTOSoundsandVisuals
2 жыл бұрын
That hit hard
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
unfortunately we lost stephen to an overdose. This is my little brother.... still hard knowing the drugs took him from us. We all tried so hard to help. Hes no longer struggling :( hes with his momma now.
@horizonsfluidline
4 ай бұрын
I have watched all of Marks videos. This one hurts the most, today anyway. I even imagined that in another time we would be close friends! Pleasant interlude. So beautiful what an appalling waste.
@missemily1988
3 жыл бұрын
This is one of the hardest interviews I’ve ever watched. This guy can make it. He is so smart. My heart hurts for him so much. I hope so much he can get clean again 💔
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
unfortunately we lost stephen to an overdose. This is my little brother.... still hard knowing the drugs took him from us. We all tried so hard to help. Hes no longer struggling :(
@lilaworley8935
3 жыл бұрын
I'm positive the untreated/mismanaged ADHD is playing a roll in your struggles. It's so familiar....
@nunyabizwacks6711
3 жыл бұрын
some ppl dont believe in that tho. In my opinion, "ADHD" is just a personality type, not a disease or something wrong. Plus he said he was on adderal in like 3rd grade, which must have been because of ADHD. In my honest opinion, theres a good chance a person will end up like this when they are pretty much given meth from a young age. Its like so many drugs, the doctors that prescribe them have no idea what they are like because they have never done them. Last thing this guy needs is legal meth for his troubles
@julybutterfly
3 жыл бұрын
I was thinking the same the thing. He checks all the boxes for ADHD.
@julybutterfly
3 жыл бұрын
@@nunyabizwacks6711 ADHD is just a personality type? How do you arrive at that? Kids who took adderall wind up addicts because addiction is unbelievably common with ADHD, not because adderall was their gateway drug. There has been a lot of advancements in what happens in the ADHD brain, particularly with women who have it. I recommend catching up on the disorder.
@moespaws16
3 жыл бұрын
I had the same thought. Or c-ptsd possibly. Hearing him speak is how my brain is.
@moespaws16
3 жыл бұрын
I’m not on drugs…but my brain is just, bouncy.
@K72-g3y
3 жыл бұрын
This man's self awareness is amazing! He's so intelligent and has so much potential. Hopefully he can get clean and use his story to help others ❤
@incredibeast9661
3 жыл бұрын
He’s 32?!! He actually looks young for his age even considering his drug abuse. Hope this guy gets his life together
@kadeelacayo4806
3 жыл бұрын
He definitely is nice looking at 32. He looks late 20s early 30s. I think you’re just used to people who look older
@misstiffany614
3 жыл бұрын
32 is young. He looks 32
@incredibeast9661
3 жыл бұрын
@@kadeelacayo4806 perhaps. I guess more often then not the people on here look a bit more rough from their drug usage
@cassgreen5813
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly. He looks 25
@Nicole3900
3 жыл бұрын
@@cassgreen5813 oh gosh definitely not 25 haha but he does look good for someone who has done so many drugs and been through as much as he has. I just turned 26 and I'd guess he was mid-30s.
@kalebdye4378
3 жыл бұрын
All this man has is pure love in his heart for everyone. It's so beautiful that he didn't let his experiences turn him bitter. I wish you the best Stephan. As a former meth addict myself, it really is possible to quit and you of all people deserve to have your life back. I believe in you. You can do it. Your mom would want you to get sober again, even though she couldn't.
@gabrielmartin4726
2 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate your last sentence, Kaleb. And, I believe it too.
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
unfortunately we lost stephen to an overdose. This is my little brother.... still hard knowing the drugs took him from us. We all tried so hard to help. Hes no longer struggling :(
@Christy768
3 жыл бұрын
You can do it again Stephan, It's never too late! Don’t stop believing in yourself!!!
@s0yg0z0
3 жыл бұрын
This completely breaks my heart. I used to hang out with his sister and we all went to the same NA meetings. I knew him when he was clean. I had no idea this is where he was and his situation. Come on Stephen. Come back home. And stay.
@francissynergia7385
2 жыл бұрын
I second this. STEPHEN!- go home and be the man you know you should be! Fix everything and make it all better than it would have been without your involvement in colouring the world!
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
I had so much hope that he would finally get help and stay in rehab... he refused to stay everytime. We all tried so hard. Jessica is back in FL she has a son and has been clean for a few years. unfortunately we lost stephen to an overdose. This is my little brother too...still hard knowing the drugs took him from us. . Hes no longer struggling :(
@abigailcoffey512
3 жыл бұрын
You're a qualified nurse and you've been clean before, there's still alot of hope for you're future.
@linkes28
3 жыл бұрын
Yup he can so it again
@joolzg1936
3 жыл бұрын
A nurse who is an addict is not a good idea Lot's of temptations in hospitals.
@amberk4978
3 жыл бұрын
Addicts recover.
@brandonjoseph1489
3 жыл бұрын
Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think you can be an rn with hep c
@MarkGelderland
3 жыл бұрын
@@brandonjoseph1489 HARVONI cures hep c
@soupsandwich8
3 жыл бұрын
Smart guy, just doesn’t know how to deal with his pain. Makes poor decisions but with the right environment and mind frame he can live a rewarding life.
@thekatt...
3 жыл бұрын
💯💯💯
@TheChadls
2 жыл бұрын
All addicts
@SandraSmith-vb5pf
2 жыл бұрын
I think he’s in with a chance. Clean Stefan is achievable but his relapses are obviously an issue. Best wishes for his future success. 🌬💨💨💨🤍
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
unfortunately we lost stephen to an overdose. This is my little brother.... still hard knowing the drugs took him from us. We all tried so hard to help. Hes no longer struggling :(
@MsTcup
3 жыл бұрын
Wow. Talk about potential. I hope Stephan gets his life back. He Absolutely deserves it.
@MeezerGurlMakes
3 жыл бұрын
NO ONE is just a junkie. Early sexual abuse, trauma, a multiple of other negative events drives people to numb the pain and deal with it anyway they can. Love this guy. I wish him healing of his soul. ❤️
@The_Cherokee_Gypsy
3 жыл бұрын
EXACTLY!!! Mental illness added in to that too
@margaret4870
3 жыл бұрын
We as addicts will do whatever it takes to numb the feelings
@MeezerGurlMakes
3 жыл бұрын
@@margaret4870 I know. ❤️
@kadeelacayo4806
3 жыл бұрын
We need to get rid of the junkie word
@gballs007
3 жыл бұрын
Not totally true... drugs such as opiates which are started for fun drastically turn people into junkies because it's on a physical level which robs your body of producing dopamine and seratonin, which in turn makes users become seriously depressed along with the other physical withdrawl symptons turn people into junkies... I have personally known a few people, some lifelong close friends who never had any mental issues, came from great loving families with everything growing up, good looking, lots of friends and great relationships.... turn into junkies because the opiates robbed them of their bodies natural chemical production of all the chemicals the body needs. As well as robbing your body of any sexual desire from the lowering of testosterone and other hormones. It's one of the only drugs that literally robs your body.
@rePenia
3 жыл бұрын
He seems like such a genuine soul. Sending you love and positivity, Stephan. You can do it.
@toreason8146
3 жыл бұрын
Watching his brain battle moment to moment with his feelings on the drugs is the perfect image to show someone who doesn't understand addiction and it's power. Stephan your story was so powerful and your incredible personality comes through so clear. As does your unbearable pain. As you said yourself, people deserve love 💓
@glockinshpiel
3 жыл бұрын
Tell him to get on a plane and come to Minnesota. Call PRIDE institute they specify in gay men and sex/meth. MN has something called a rule-25 which can get you treatment free…there’s a huge community of LGBT in recovery with sober house and everything.
@sourtm5916
Жыл бұрын
I'm one of his siblings. This is how he was naturally his whole short life.
@DarrickDraper
8 ай бұрын
@@sourtm5916heartbreaking. I’m so sorry to hear your brother passed. He seemed like a wonderful person. I see myself in his struggles. My mother passed a year ago and it’s been a hard and empty time. Wishing your family the best.
@dlrainer
2 жыл бұрын
Stephan, hearing you say you hate yourself just broke my heart. You deserve love and compassion. I'm sending you positive vibes, I hope you get the help you need.
@lw3894
3 жыл бұрын
Just so y’all know it’s possible - I celebrated 10 years dope free last month. Went from living on the streets to being married to a beautiful woman and having a great career. It’s possible you just have to be willing to change everything about your life. I’m not trying to brag, I’m just trying to bring a little hope to anyone that reads this and thinks there is no escape. I love you all, -Dopeless Hope Addict
@maryannhope8276
3 жыл бұрын
God Bless you ❤
@elizabethluna1899
3 жыл бұрын
Congratulations that is something to brag about such a great accomplishment. Stay strong nothing is worth going back.
@cherhop1
3 жыл бұрын
Proud of you, what a powerful transformation.
@lw3894
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you everyone❤️ stay strong and keep one foot in front of the other
@Thegirlmaisie
3 жыл бұрын
Wish you all the best 💗🇬🇧
@Jenniferamu
2 жыл бұрын
His soul is so damn pure💔 A lot of these interviews are heartbreaking but this one, for some reason, crushed me.🙏💜
@Beejuice.08
3 жыл бұрын
"The drugs are the only thing that makes me feel like im not alone" Same. You can break this generational curse stephan. Youre so strong. ❤
@danielbrown1724
3 жыл бұрын
Damn, this one is a tough one Feeling for this bloke, not because I’m also a Florida dude, but because he has some serious things to overcome in order to find happiness 💜🙏🏻💜🤟😎
@him4690
3 жыл бұрын
We can't ever find happiness really
@davidx4120
3 жыл бұрын
YES
@meco4068
3 жыл бұрын
Never heard a Florida dude use the term bloke
@AliasOnlyTV
2 жыл бұрын
Woulda never guessed your not a Florida dude holy shit. Dan brown what u write the fuckin DaVinci code or are u just cursed with a john smith ass name.
@danielbrown1724
2 жыл бұрын
@@meco4068 yea, born and raised in England, moved to FL at 15 years old, been here ever since. I have an intertwined mix of British slang and Florida twang 🤣🤣🤣😳😳😳
@kwcutie911
2 жыл бұрын
Oh, Stephan. My heart breaks for you. The pain you feel over the decade you didn't speak to your mother broke me down. You have to know that it wasn't wrong to cut out a toxic person, you were protecting your own sobriety, which you're supposed to do. The timing of everything is awful and worthy of being upset about but nothing that happened to your mom was your fault, hunny. Your little sister's circumstances aren't your fault. All you can do to fix any of this is to break the cycle in your family. It's a lot of pressure and its unfair that its on you to do it, but you have to. If you don't you'll be just another sad story in your family tree. You can do this again. Sending you all of my love
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
unfortunately we lost stephen to an overdose. This is my little brother.... still hard knowing the drugs took him from us. We all tried so hard to help. Hes no longer struggling :( our childhood was so insane but he just could not cope with the a use his mother and my father put us through.... she was type 2 bipolar and they got closer as adults nd unfortunately used together and thats how she passed 5 yrs ago from hep c. We tried to save them both :/
@susanrichardson3639
3 жыл бұрын
She knew you loved her and wouldn’t want you to torture yourself. You should find your sobriety and spend your life helping others in her honor,
@katlara9161
3 жыл бұрын
That is absurd! His life belongs to HIM, not to a memory. She's gone, now it is time for him to look for his own path.
@susanrichardson3639
3 жыл бұрын
@@katlara9161 while you might think it’s absurd, he is continuing to use to numb out from his feelings and by his emotional reaction when speaking about the guilt and loss he feels around the relationship with his mom he continues to torture himself. I was merely suggesting he turn these negative emotions into something positive by finding his sobriety and then using his enormous talents as a nurse and someone who has dealt with addiction and loss. He could really help a lot of people. That’s all......
@RoseWasCute
2 жыл бұрын
Would love to get an update of any kind about him! He seems like such a great and kind person. The medical community would be better off with him as a nurse.
@sourtm5916
Жыл бұрын
He has passed. There's a go fund me page
@drewdollinjer3624
Жыл бұрын
@@sourtm5916 Can you please post a link to the gofundme?
@vanessagausch8080
Жыл бұрын
@@sourtm5916 can you post a link to the Go Fund Me Page?
@stefanieborges3850
Жыл бұрын
He passed away the end of May of this year. We love him and miss him dearly ❤
@arthistoryliterature2950
Жыл бұрын
Oh no! This breaks my heart!
@kimpierce2844
3 жыл бұрын
Stephen, your a doll. I love your spirit ❤. You would be a great nurse, not too late. Get some counseling. Let that shit go baby. Save yourself son. !!
@JanoyCresva
2 жыл бұрын
Im a fully recovered heroin addict. He sounds like he's almost tired of the NEVER ENDING rat race that is opiate addiction. There is no high that is worth the sickness of dope after years of abuse. You're not getting sky high anymore so really you're just using to get normal. I feel normal now clean but have a house, a family, tons of money because i have nothing to spend it on anymore, and the most important, ACTUAL relationships and emotions. You lose most of that stuff when you become an addict. THis guy couldve and could still have the world at his feet. He checks a lot of the boxes for sure. Snap out of it young man.
@aurorarose2836
3 жыл бұрын
Nursing school coming out with his statement about "Maslow's hierarchy of needs". I hope he gets clean and sober once and for all. Steve needs to renew his nursing license ASAP even if he doesn't intend on practicing...always keep your professional licence current.
@hmmm8552
3 жыл бұрын
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is exactly what I say every video and in person. They are essential and without absolutely wrecks havoc.
@Vixen160
3 жыл бұрын
Aurora... You still have to be working or work as a nurse, and most likely an address, let alone passing drug tests if employed to keep your license...
@aurorarose2836
3 жыл бұрын
@@Vixen160 ...I would like to think a PO Box or family/friend would lend an address. A nurse can keep their license current without practicing, as long as CEUs are met. There is no need for drug test unless working. Many nurses take time off to raise a family and return to nursing when their children are older. Many nurses have branched into another career and still keep their license current.
@donaldmartinez1764
3 жыл бұрын
@@Vixen160 all he needs is the ceus and to pay..a lot of nurses don’t even work as a nurse but keep it active because why not? There nurses on top of whatever there career is..
@lorrainechavez654
2 жыл бұрын
Didn't I hear that he relapsed just before he was to take his State Board Exams?
@mandyylolo
3 жыл бұрын
I see so much potential in him. He’s gone through a lot, he needs cognitive therapy and to learn how to “retrain his brain” to function without drugs/alcohol. If he can get thru that, I see a bright future for him.
@janicejacome
2 жыл бұрын
So little do l know and need SO MUCH HELP... l will look into this, there's got to be a way be a way. THANK YOU!
@aprilchiginsky7560
3 жыл бұрын
What an amazing interview. I hope he can find the strength to become sober again. He really needs some therapy and services. He's a kind person who seemingly can not deal with emotions and feelings. I hope he makes it.
@athenafavela123
3 жыл бұрын
This interview broke my heart. You can feel the love he has for his mom
@cutedoggy231
7 ай бұрын
He's with her now😢❤
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
He definitely didnt mention the whole story of the abise we went though as children.. im his step sister. My father and his mother had a very toxic relationship ... she was type 2 bipolar and abusive. He Did love her so much though, they were close as adults. They also used together which is how she contracted hep c and passed about 5 years ago... unfortunately we lost stephen to an overdose last year. still hard knowing the drugs took him from us. We all tried so hard to help. Hes no longer struggling :(
@a.wanderer5006
3 жыл бұрын
Stephan seems like the type of guy who needs to deal with all that emotion bubbling right under the surface in therapy and from there the drug misuse would work itself out. I don't think the extreme American drug treatment modality (all that cultish 'surrender' bs) is a good fit for him. He said that he was 'shunned' for relapsing. American drug treatment methods are so wack and contrived and he's too intelligent to try the same methodology three times.
@TheMostBoringGuy
3 жыл бұрын
Inpatient therapy with a really good empathetic chemical dependency counselor can really help. I’m not sure about AA or NA as that’s unlicensed people who don’t really know what they’re talking about only reciting what they were told by the last guy who didn’t really know what he was talking about.
@accountsofsolon7598
3 жыл бұрын
Child abuse is a hell of a drug
@tadpole53
3 жыл бұрын
There's so many times I wish I could reach through a screen and give people a hug or a "You're ok" or something, anything. Steph seems like an amazing person, I think he just needs a little kick in the butt and some support to get to his potential again. He reached it before and I think he can do it again!
@kpeezyforsheezy
3 жыл бұрын
This dude wants to get clean so bad that I truly believe he will. Many addicts I’ve come across don’t even express the want or will to live a sober life, that’s what I knew always separated me from them. You can only beat yourself up like this for so long before you do something to change it. You either completely check out or you start taking steps to better yourself. I can tell he’s not ready to check out. He still feels, deeply. I hope the best for him. There’s resources out there and people waiting to help. ♥️
@issafacelift
3 жыл бұрын
Glad you're clean now. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do
@kpeezyforsheezy
3 жыл бұрын
@@issafacelift same bro, same. It took me over a decade. We both made it through one of the most difficult things life will ever throw at us. I hope you’re proud of yourself. IM PROUD OF YOU 🙏🏼
@saragoff9065
2 жыл бұрын
Very well said. Thank you! And well done K. ❤️
@issafacelift
2 жыл бұрын
@@kpeezyforsheezy thank you very much. Proud of you for kicking addictions ass too! 🤙🏻❤ I try to remember how far I've made it after going through addiction, but I have ups and downs. Like now, in the worst rutt and have never felt so dreadfully depressed/useless. I won't relapse, but I fucking wish I actually had a support system instead of dealing with it in my own head and driving myself crazy lol
@ThePerezHilton
2 жыл бұрын
He got so emotional throughout. My heart hurt for him!
@paulworkman2695
2 жыл бұрын
How can I reach this man? I would love to help him get in to a rehab facility that got me straight after 20 years of using. Plz if there is anyways to contact him or send this channel a donation to help.
@franklinriley7074
3 жыл бұрын
He has a very active brain, it could have been put to great use. He's clearly very bright
@HE-162
3 жыл бұрын
It can still be put to use. Just gotta land back on his feet. He’s done it before, he’ll do it again.
@thekatt...
3 жыл бұрын
Not could, he can still. ❤🇨🇦🌈
@andreasmith3439
2 жыл бұрын
i mean hes high on meth so that is definitely part of it.
@diegoshepherd3464
3 жыл бұрын
Poor guy has just obliterated his life and mind with drugs, sadness, living in the past. I hope he is able to get himself together. He has so much potential to have a great, happy life. Good luck to you.
@gabrielmartin4726
2 жыл бұрын
Insightful reply Diego. Living in the past is a hard cycle to break in and of itself. I can't imagine how challenging it would be addicted and homeless.
@LexWick
3 жыл бұрын
I've watched pretty much all these videos and for some reason this one is the saddest. Not that there is a rating or scale but this one really got me. Love this guy (not that I know him that well but still).
@b1k2q34
3 жыл бұрын
You don't know him at all. I mean, seriously.
@LexWick
3 жыл бұрын
@@b1k2q34 you're right. I rarely ever comment on videos. Normally I'd agree with you, yet I had a reaction (for some reason) and just thought I'd post.
@Evielove36
3 жыл бұрын
Hes just like this for real. A great kid. I miss him. Sincerely, one of his 5 siblings
@janicejacome
2 жыл бұрын
@@Evielove36 l believe it..he's a sweetheart l would love to have for a brother. Best of luck, love ,and new start in 2022.
@lekhadali571
3 жыл бұрын
Wow, this guy is amazing... his self awareness and gratitude is magical. I hope he finds whatever he is looking for and gets whatever he wants out of life. Thanks so much for sharing your story Mr.
@melanesepinkler8508
3 жыл бұрын
I am so sad because he did the right thing by cutting his mom off and he shouldn't feel guilty for that as hard at it might be 😭💔I really hope he gets better ❤
@kristabell5107
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly what i thought. She might have told him she loved him but love doesn’t look like that. He did the best when he was away from her. He’s got potential to be better but has to ditch the drugs and the guilt.
@melanesepinkler8508
3 жыл бұрын
@@kristabell5107 yes I truly hope he can forgive himself he doesn't deserve that feeling at all. We have to let go of people who aren't good for us family or not 💔as much as it hurt it'd what's best for you as a person yk
@brentongutierrez4021
3 жыл бұрын
I’ve never seen someone lay out addiction in such a way non addicts may actually kind of understand what one goes through when struggling... by far the best interview I’ve seen and that speaks volumes because this channel is absolutely incredible! This one made me cry myself to sleep, thanks for the work you do 🙏🏼
@markmywords5126
3 жыл бұрын
This is heartbreaking. I’m just happy he still has touch with his emotions. I’d love to be able to cry from things that are painful.
@Corrupted-file
3 жыл бұрын
Same here. This interview is like a therapy session, hope Steph finds a good partner, and breaks his chains.
@ChristinaRamette-fu6qm
Жыл бұрын
Stephan passed away a few days ago down here in South Florida. That's the reality of addiction. Most of these people there's no follow up stories.
@jdub1584
Жыл бұрын
I miss him.
@dontbeaturd763
Ай бұрын
I knew him in middle school - used to ride the same bus to Seven Springs Middle School. He was such a sweet and funny kid - I never knew what he had going on at home. He had a lot of demons, may he rest in peace 😞
@elelenamakdne
3 жыл бұрын
What a beautiful person. Honest, kind, charming, funny. Tortured by a substance.
@accountsofsolon7598
3 жыл бұрын
It's the abuse he's really tortured by The drugs are the cope
@ScottyCampbell-o1e
10 ай бұрын
RIP Beautiful boy.
@stacycrombie
4 ай бұрын
😮 Oh no! When did he pass? What happened?
@heidixlouise138
4 ай бұрын
today is a year that we lost steph..... he unfortunately overdosed on skidrow
@stacycrombie
3 ай бұрын
@@heidixlouise138 .... I'm so sorry😢
@Bricklinsv1970
3 жыл бұрын
When talked about his Mom I lost it im still sobbing. Im so grateful mu Mom is still here with me. I hope he finds lasting happiness.
@janicejacome
2 жыл бұрын
Treasure her. The most devastating thing in life is losing her.😔
@Bricklinsv1970
2 жыл бұрын
@@janicejacome I understand and am pre mourning it. Not sure if I will deal with it when it happens I want to go first but I know it would here her even more
@kristn6513
3 жыл бұрын
Mark has a brilliant skill of finding good people.
@jimbob9907
3 жыл бұрын
Hope this dude makes it, he has so much to live for 💕
@finolaomurchu8217
3 жыл бұрын
Yes, he is suffering and he's very likeable.
@jimbob9907
3 жыл бұрын
@Blacksun Sigrune only an absolute dickhead would make a comment like that... congratulations.
@TheCgOrion
2 жыл бұрын
Poor guy. He seems like such a gentle soul, and I hope he gets through this. I believe he can beat this, and have a good life. I hope he sees it and believes it too. You can get past this Stephan.
@lucas.daniel
3 жыл бұрын
Hopefully Stephan can get clean. It seems like he has a lot of potential. I know he feels bad about his mom, but he still has siblings that are alive and his father that he needs to also tend to, otherwise he will live with regrets once they pass. I was also shocked to hear that his old sponsor doesn't talk to him ... I can only image how that affects struggling addicts...
@Evielove36
3 жыл бұрын
We are all alive and qere doing good. We have overcome the trauma. Steph needs to know we are home. Hes so ashamed and completely jaded. His dad is a very kind man. My dad, his stepdad loves him too. We miss him.
@lucas.daniel
3 жыл бұрын
@@Evielove36 That's great to hear. I hope that Stephan will reconnect with you guys. Most addicts are ashamed when they are in their addictions but they forget that family is there to support each other.
@Corrupted-file
3 жыл бұрын
@@Evielove36 Just responding to these posts shows such a strong sense of family support that many don’t have…thanks!
@ryansiroisheller9145
3 жыл бұрын
As long as I knew you, you’ve always been an amazing person. Should helped me years ago in so many ways and I am forever grateful. You have so much to offer this world and deserve all the love it has to give you.
@janicejacome
2 жыл бұрын
He needs you, Friend!
@heidixlouise138
5 ай бұрын
It still doesnt feel real that hes gone :/
@hoeslush
3 жыл бұрын
“I’m a lady” hah that was adorable! I love this guy. I wish him nothing but the best.
@Mauro-ot2ux
3 жыл бұрын
I like this guy so much, I feel so sorry for him. Adorable, sweet person destroyed by addiction, I can totally relate.
@terrytezzbigtel
2 жыл бұрын
Me too x
@campbellreynolds4769
3 жыл бұрын
Wow what a great guy. Stephan you fought hard twice and almost got there, third times a charm. Sending love from New Zealand, go get it mate
@bradybirdy9243
3 жыл бұрын
You can just tell how he has so much genuine goodness within him.
@nastaranbattles1351
3 жыл бұрын
Your spirit really touched me. Something very genuine about you. You’re definitely a humble soul. Thank you for your honesty
@tarotdreamseverythinginbet350
3 жыл бұрын
This one breaks my heart the most. He is using drugs to mask a lot of pain. I hope he finds his way to sobriety. He deserves a new start and counseling. He holds on to A LOT of guilt. Sending him tons of healing love and energy. 💓
@Nicole3900
3 жыл бұрын
As a nurse it hurts to see this guy like this because I can tell he has a big heart and would make a wonderful nurse if the circumstances were different (i.e., if he weren't dealing with addiction). You can tell he's educated too with how he speaks about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, Hedonism, etc. My heart aches for him.
@ShellyMischelle
3 жыл бұрын
Hello Stephan♡ LOL my gaydar is usually spot-on Stephen as I'm gay too I'm in a methadone program 24 years and people there always presume I'm straight we had much in common and as much as I like reefer I sure do hate hearing it is the first drug . You still look healthy before that changes let's get some sober Stephen! There is so much Beauty in this world if you look for it and I think you're beautiful. nice I can already tell you have it really good chance at recovery . I can't mention my dad without crying I noticed we have that in common then the moment I say my father I began to cry as you said your mother.💪🙏💗💯
@stacycrombie
4 ай бұрын
Stephan sadly passed away a year ago. I'm so sorry❤
@peaceeeeees_
3 жыл бұрын
he has a beatiful personality, i hope he finds peace❤️i feel for him 😔
@flcutie315
3 жыл бұрын
Wow he really needed to talk about his life i believe this interview will help him ! Hold on Stephan i see sobreity headed your way but this time will be the last time ! I feel it in my gut !, life has just begun for you dont give up !,
@MrShoward73
3 жыл бұрын
My mother was a narcissist and we were estranged for years as a result. She died just as I was starting to bridge the gap, and I still cry sometimes over the loss. I sympathise with him entirely.
@amberk4978
3 жыл бұрын
Narcissist never change.
@bradycakes5
3 жыл бұрын
I’m sorry it wasn’t where you wanted/needed it to be before it ended. I truly believe your mom is with you now and would do it all over if she could. Sending a hug your way. ♥️
@noeljjohnson
3 жыл бұрын
My heart breaks for him. You can literally feel the pain and suffering he is going through as he tells his story. I wish he would reach out to his family so that he could have that “home” he so desperately wants and needs. Maybe that would be the beginning of having peace In his life.
@emilydobbins3938
3 жыл бұрын
I hope he finds the strength within him to seek help. He deserves better than the life he is currently living. I hope sharing his story helps him start to process his emotions and trauma. It seems to me that Stephan would benefit from a long-term rehab and intensive counseling. He has such a sweet, kind soul. I wish I could give him a hug and tell him his life matters, he deserves so much more and he is loved.
@davidx4120
3 жыл бұрын
I believe if he gets clean FOR GOOD, he'll be great. He has an infectious personality.
@emilydobbins3938
3 жыл бұрын
@@davidx4120 I think it's very hard for people to get clean for good when they have trauma, especially childhood trauma, that has gone untreated. Addiction isn't just a matter of staying clean, avoiding the drug and other people who use. If trauma is left untreated, and the person isn't taught new healthier coping mechanisms, it's going to be extremely hard not to relapse. This channel, plus being close to someone who has struggled her entire life with addiction, and knowing trauma is what caused her to use in the first place has taught me this.
@misstruboyzrc
3 жыл бұрын
He seems like such a loving, kind, beautiful soul yet full of so much pain it’s palpable. I hope he finds a way to quit running, get clean & start a life that makes him happy!!
@lefroy1
3 жыл бұрын
Hope he can turn his life around. Despite everything, he looks the picture of health.
@brandonjoseph1489
3 жыл бұрын
Really?. I think he looks terrible and weathered way past his years
@kimdoe3374
3 жыл бұрын
Stephan, I am truly sorry for the loss of your mom. My mom died in 2017. She was everything to me. I have managed to crawl out of the hole I have been in since. Everyday is a challenge, but it is a new day. I hope you find your niche in life. You will see her again.
@FCWW87
3 жыл бұрын
Heart on a sleeve, Steve! I hope you are able to push through this man.
@BonHomie87
2 жыл бұрын
At first I wasn’t so sure but after finishing the video there is no doubt. The kid is 100% kobe beef.
@mddell58
3 жыл бұрын
Wow. Stephan's racing speech, & his anxiety is spilling out everywhere. 😳 I really believe he needs to find a non-damaging way to release the majority of his anxious reserve 'tanks.' He'd certainly have far less self-loathing talks & conversations with himself. Take GOOD care of yourself, Stephan. ♥️
@chaseriderthetruthchaser5988
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah, or maybe he's high on speed 🤔 seems to be a nice guy who needs a little help with treatment.
@Evielove36
3 жыл бұрын
One of his siblings here...he's actually like this naturally
@brandonjoseph1489
3 жыл бұрын
Lol it’s called drugs 😂
@altercell_
2 жыл бұрын
I really like this guy. He’s a good person and seems amazing even when he’s strung out…IMAGINE WHAT HE’S LIKE SOBER! Hope you can stop suffering soon and start enjoying life again
@dload1658
3 жыл бұрын
You’re a really nice guy Stefan. I am confident you can do it. It may take time but you will. Stay strong. 🤙
@petakucas7389
3 жыл бұрын
So intelligent. I wish we as humans were taught more about mental health and how to get by emotionally. It's great to have schooling , but at the end of the day it's the heart and mind that needs the teachings. Big cuddles to this guy. He's in a hole and hopefully will climb out. He has all the looks, etc, but his heart and mind are not in sync😢😢😢
@EtwonYoung
3 жыл бұрын
7 days clean off heroin today. First group therapy in 4 hours.
@thematriarchy2075
3 жыл бұрын
Alright!! You got this! Much love to you and keep on keeping on ❤
@EtwonYoung
3 жыл бұрын
@@thematriarchy2075 thank you fr. Just finished my first class it feels good
@thematriarchy2075
3 жыл бұрын
@@EtwonYoung That's good to hear. I don't know you, but i am definitely proud of you!
@EtwonYoung
3 жыл бұрын
@@thematriarchy2075 man I swear I’ve never heard so many people say they were proud of me. And even though I don’t know you. Man it doesn’t change how good it feels to hear that
@thematriarchy2075
3 жыл бұрын
@@EtwonYoung I am happy to hear that. We all need each other for a good journey. 😘
@terywetherlow7970
2 жыл бұрын
The pain.......dammmm. Sorry for your pain.
@nicolebalm6116
3 жыл бұрын
Stephan, don't be ashamed please and you DO deserve it . Please get clean for the third time, you deserve to be happy, and thank you for sharing your story. I hope all the best for you. Love from Spain.
@bexski579
3 жыл бұрын
Stephan, it is okay to have regrets and to grieve the loss of your mother. Be compassionate and gentle with yourself because you deserve the love and kindness you give to others!!
@janicejacome
2 жыл бұрын
🏆
@chicomendez3720
3 жыл бұрын
My human compassion and heart goes out to Stephan...I cried along with him and I also feel the same pain he does. I know very well...exactly what he's feeling, the sorrow, pain... I lost my only younger brother Oct.30-2020,he was younger than me 43yrs old I'm 47... He died of a sudden heart attack...since then I've been going through hell and the only thing that takes the huge emptiness and pain at least for a short time is drugs...each passing month I seem to get deeper & deeper into it for example weed (not too much of problem keeps me off the harder drugs), alcohol, cocaine, crystal meth,oxycotin,codeine...and now I discovered...Heroin..in reality now they say all the Heroin is cut with fentanall & carfentanall.... Dear God....
@janicejacome
2 жыл бұрын
Do something NOW please because you know the train is speeding down the tracks. I live it daily.. for decades. If you wait too long, the real kisser is when the self loathing comes in...cuz then you think and almost HOPE that train speeds up..PLEASE don't get to that point. Your brother would want you happy.
@DaShrimpBros2
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve watched a lot of these videos and this might be the saddest. It’s so straight forward and so brutal with such numbness to it. I hope he’s doing alright, he and so many in his situation deserve better
@patriciajoyner9871
3 жыл бұрын
What a whirl wind life.kind sweet heart.i just want to hug him. I think he would of been an excellent nurse
@christophersovereignshaw2325
3 жыл бұрын
You look just like my old friend Ryan who also struggled with meth and opiates. You got a good heart and soul
@bryan2316
3 жыл бұрын
He is very bright. I do understand one makes their own decisions, but his mother was, and is a big part where he is at. She showed him the path to drugs and addiction. This channel always shows that parents are a big influence on peoples lives. I hope only the best for this guy. I hope he can find what he is looking for and live a filling life away from drugs and addiction
@Evielove36
3 жыл бұрын
She was my stepmother. She was a very proper lady with a good job. She just couldn't handle her bipolar disorder. I don't know why she went to drugs. Was not in her character. Steph was doing pills as a teen. I couldn't help him. It was so disfunctional.
@milescumminski8077
10 ай бұрын
Stephan lost the fight and passed away per Soft White Underbelly memorial video posted 11/2023.
@Dimi374
5 ай бұрын
Oh no!! I was just asking how is he doing now.❤😢
@nicoledavis4576
3 жыл бұрын
It breaks my heart that Stefan feels so alone. He has a tragic but beautiful story. ❤️❤️🙏🏻
@vonderloo3184
3 жыл бұрын
Stephan being a nurse you should recognize your skin is jaundice and see about treatment before your liver fails with drug use. Sleeping on a train is prolly no good. Go to your family for support. Stop running.
@Evielove36
3 жыл бұрын
Sibling here....we try to reach out to him. Hes not ready.we love him.
@vonderloo3184
3 жыл бұрын
@@Evielove36 I hear you. A good question is if he can state why he is not ready.
@mpv409
Жыл бұрын
Stephan passed a few months ago, for anyone interested. He definitely tried his hardest. I hope he rests easy now.
@AlpinePreparedness
Жыл бұрын
Aww that is tragic. Thanks for letting us know. May he rest in peace
@student22044
Жыл бұрын
I’ve just finished this interview and was hoping for some good news in the comments. How sad to hear this. Stephan had such a beautiful soul. Addiction is a terrible shadow that’s nearly impossible to shift. 😢❤ Thanks for letting us know RIP gentle-man x
@hjsjhdjeje8436
Жыл бұрын
How do you know?
@squirlboy250
3 жыл бұрын
I feel this guys pain, if he reads this just know you aren't alone. I share a lot of the same issues.
@lifesforliving4929
3 жыл бұрын
Listening to Stephan hurts because he has many of the skills to be the person he aspires to be, but like so many he is utterly trapped within his addiction. I am a father, I love so much my transgender daughter, I understand the darkness that can envelope people of all backgrounds and I want to give the guy a huge hug. He has so much to give to society. I'm moved to tears
@janicejacome
2 жыл бұрын
If there were more Dads like you, we would have less people like me and Stephan.. ( he's a gem!!) Thank you for being a great Dad. In the late 80's l made Thanksgiving at my house, for any of my wonderful gay sons young friends who were also gay or trans..l COULD NOT BELIEVE how many were not welcome at their families table because of the ignorance of their parents. So glad l did, we keep in touch to this day..I CAN'T BELIEVE these"parents".
@lifesforliving4929
2 жыл бұрын
@@janicejacome Thank you👊My father died when I was 2, he was 26. On his death my mother transferred all of her anger and frustration on to me and it has been like that all of my life, I'm now 67. My half sister 9 years younger than me got/gets all the love, I got/get all the crap. I know what it is like to suffer dejection, never be good enough, and that will never happen to my child (now 32) 'for better or worse, in sickness and health'. Love and Peace 🕊️
@wyattlightning6681
3 жыл бұрын
Really pulling for you brother.
@Mohjoe62
3 жыл бұрын
When it comes to his mom, Stephan immediately starts crying.That shows how much he loved his mom.I wish Stephan a life as a bartender again,and he was happy there.Love from germany
@bsings7928
3 жыл бұрын
I’ve been watching these videos forever and I think it’s time that maybe I share my story. I have an undiagnosed rare disease that causes anaphylactic allergic reactions multiple times a day. Because of that I take Benadryl multiple times everyday to keep me alive. In my teen years I had horrible depression and would take Benadryl even when I didn’t need it to fall asleep and escape from reality. And no one caught on. When that didn’t work I started asking around for weed. I’d seen people get laced so I only asked good sources. Thank god they all said no because people knew me, they knew I’d addicted and do worse. They said “I can’t do that to you” because even at my worst, I wasn’t the worst. People remembered my best and knew that drugs wouldn’t help me get there. Watching these videos now as a social worker and public health advocate, I can’t help but think my life would be nothing if anyone listened to me.
@bsings7928
3 жыл бұрын
For those wondering, I haven’t abused Benadryl in 9 months. And it’s still not easy because my life gets difficult and I know it works but I’ve been doing my best.
@dakshbishnoi4239
3 жыл бұрын
@@bsings7928 thats good to read , i wish u best of luck for your future
@denni7173
3 жыл бұрын
@MimiSings Do you by chance have MCAD or HAENlC1? I was born with both, both react as airway swells, and HAE3 has killed my family off. I'm always interested in those who have similar rare diseases.
@bsings7928
3 жыл бұрын
@@denni7173 that’s a very interesting thought. I’ve been tested for most mast cell disorders but not HAE. I’m gonna bring that up to my doctor, thank you.
@denni7173
3 жыл бұрын
@@bsings7928 Unfortunately mast cells testing is hit or miss and many people with MCAD have negative results. Most of my specialists won't do them anymore simply because it is unreliable. It is better to diagnose via symptoms and how you respond to specific meds. What's funny is HAE3 doesn't respond to Benadryl, epi, the usual anaphylaxis meds but MCAD does. BUT the MCAD triggers my HAE3 and that is actually common. So we still get the typical rxn meds plus the bradykinen drugs or plasma.
@allthatjazzspaz95
2 жыл бұрын
I totally relate to his reaction to Mark’s well meaning “I didn’t know you were gay”… it always stumps me. Of course you didn’t know, I didn’t tell you, it’s not a terribly important detail. why would you need to know that? Does that change how you view me as a man? People always seem to expect gay guys to be prissy and feminine. There are prissy feminine straight men I know in solid hetero relationships. There are butch, masculine gay men in solid homo relationships. That comment always perplexes me as a gay person. Like if someone revealed they had a wife and kids I wouldn’t be like “I didn’t know you were straight!”
@KimbradleyMasterGardener
3 жыл бұрын
You can do it again, Stephan! I'm rooting for you in Nashville!
@ninefourninethree
3 жыл бұрын
I just want to give him a hug.
@vikkivale4979
3 жыл бұрын
I believe this is the highest level of hell and the lowest level of heaven.I wish I had the power to make everything ok in all the interviewees life's. Humans can be so cruel and judgemental. Then again so kind and loving. Everyone has a story and there's always more to the story people should just try to remember that the next time they see a homeless or broken person. Love compassion and evidence is the only thing that will save this world ❤️🌍
@Demention94
2 жыл бұрын
This dudes quick..he's still got it. He could change
@alisakimi1
2 жыл бұрын
He's likely he's bipolar like his mother as there's a genetic component or ADHD as he mentioned being treated. Both of these when left untreated, whether it's through medication or natural means, can lead to dopamine-seeking behaviors. A lot of people believe that ADHD is a behavioral problem when in fact it's a neurological disorder where dopamine and norepinephrine don't get to certain parts of the brain. There is brain imaging that proves this. There are many ways you can get dopamine, some healthy ways are through exercise, dancing, listening to music, sky diving, etc. Then there are some that may not be so good for you, like food, sugar and carbs boost dopamine, shopping, gambling, sex, etc. These can easily become addictions. Then the bad ones, like stealing, drugs, etc. In this interview, I can see how his mental health led him on his current path, not being able to sit still and always moving, his sex addiction, fancy trips, and drugs. The positives of bipolar and ADHD are there as well with the hyperfocus/mania and getting 2 degrees. This is a worst-case scenario but this is what untreated mental health could look like. So if your child is struggling, it's not always a matter of will or trying harder, it can be something wrong with the brain's wiring that needs to be addressed. Its an organ just like the heart or liver, if there was something wrong with either of those you wouldn't hesitate to treat it, so why not with the brain?
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