Wasn't he wonderful. I know we lost Pete some time after he made these videos from his hospital bed. He left us these as his legacy. I hope that after all these years after his passing his family know that he's still helping us ❤❤
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
You're welcome. Doing this has become my life mission, and I'm gratified if you find these ideas useful!.
@jodo6329
8 жыл бұрын
These videos have helped me change immeasurably and you helped me out of a very dark spell in my life. I can't thank you enough Mr. Gerlach!
@simonsays525
2 жыл бұрын
IFS therapy is really catching on fire these days. Pete was talking about it 10 years ago... Thanks for your help Pete!
@Raphael-xe6vo
11 жыл бұрын
I'm 60 years old and been successful in a career I realize I chose to please a father long gone, and I'm now asking, who am I? I am ecstatic to find you, to imagine a good life can be even better... To quote Red/Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption, I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a FREE man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope to see myself.
@harmonyspacecenter7668
3 жыл бұрын
9 steps of improving your self respect : 1. To be aware is your self esteem is low. Commit to improve and believe you can. 2. Use the inform " Who is running your life" . Who are the subselves ?To heal the shame. And do internal family system therapy . To heal the inner critic . Where does that voice come from? To heal the perfectionist. To heal people pleasing sub self. Internal family system therapy: allow all that sub selves to diminish and increase the self respect. 3. List of traits to respect yourself and others . 4. Study lesson 2" Improve the effectiveness on communication". 5. Intentionaly identify people who humiliate you: shame you, devalue you or any other disrespectful acts - It is their opinion and separate yourself from them . 6. " Mistakes as opportunity to learn. Reframing. 7. Be the best you can be and stop comparing yourself. 8.What did i like today about myself. Affirm and appreciate it. 9. Ask people how do they see you.
@vt7password
10 жыл бұрын
Thank you from myself and on behalf of everyone - we all need to understand these things about ourselves, but can only learn them through feeling - I can feel your kindness, compassion and sincerity, and it is because of that your post is healing and I have shared it. Good life to you!
@gercacn
11 жыл бұрын
Nice going! Identifying, respecting, and trying to fill her and your current needs promotes satisfaction and harmony all around. Atta Mom!
@SteveWrightNZ
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks Pete. I love you heaps mate, wherever you are... Sorry about what happened..
@karengoldman3343
10 жыл бұрын
u are an angel. i repeat. k
@strengthnhope7
11 жыл бұрын
To say “Thank You” is not enough. You are the Leonardo Da Vinci of the counselling world I have spent ALL day today watching your videos. There is so much to take in. I have a new family I never knew existed. I have so much work to get acquainted with them Thanks once again.
@dafyddaprhys782
8 жыл бұрын
Absolutely brilliant!
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
@TheKibeer I cheer you on! I vote that the [wounds + unawareness] cycle is "tragic and preventible" rather than "stupid."
@Sueb401
11 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing this knowledge with us all .... however lost ...... you are Clearly signposting the way out of this nightmare !!! ..... my respect and gratitude for you is immense .... , and now, suitably armed ( with understanding ! ) , I can see the path at last ! Namaste Sue
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
"Wounded" usually implies being controlled by a well-intentioned false self. That promotes excessive shame, and tends to block meaningful development of genuine self-respect. That's not a matter of "maturity." it's a matter of unawareness, shaming environments, and psychological damage.
@vegasrichsave
8 жыл бұрын
wow good stuff ! thank you very much for the videos and rest in peace mister Pete Gerlach.
@05121784
12 жыл бұрын
I see "false self" as parts of you, not as a whole. The parts are always with you and being aware of them has come to be really useful to keep focused in reality - AWARENESS :) I love being very aware and Pete has excellent videos on the subject. I take notes, and effective communication really increases my self respect and also gains respect from others. People like and learn from being around you- It makes you smile at the end of the day :)
@madiyahtamimi4094
6 жыл бұрын
I loved what you are saying and doing, I am doing my best to learn to love and respect myself and to teach and help others to do the same, you are very inspiring to me, I love you.
@ladyesther
11 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video! I kind of intuitively know who's been running my life...my wounded, rejected, inner child. I had this very healing dream once where I, the older me as an adult, saw myself as a child in my childhood home and I hugged her. It was very healing...I can't fully explain but maybe you understand.
@digitaldharma
7 жыл бұрын
hallelujah! it is a miracle to find and learn from this! thank you so much my guardian angel pete
@COZMIC222
10 жыл бұрын
Hi dr..Gerlach! Gracious thanks so much for answering my previous questions! It was very a delight and so very nice of you to have a personal message,to me from you!It made you a bit more 'real' to me.And ive been very exited to explore my subselves,to see how and when the different types kick in,as why too.But i still am filled with questions.. Best wishes Regards ☆ KariJosefine
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
The Bible both inspires and promotes unwarranted fear, guilt, and shame (:I am a 'sinner'"). Hisdtory demonstrates its ability to do great good and enormous harm.
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
So the keys are self-awareness and harmony among all subzselves. Other requisites are acknoiwledging and healing the shamed and guilty Inner Children, bringinmg them to the present, and retraining the Perfectionist and Inner Critc to strop shaming. -
@lovewillwinnn
4 жыл бұрын
Best advice yet. 👏👍😀❤️
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
Thanks. I'd say your use of the plan is working!
@Angelsdam
12 жыл бұрын
@gernacn: translation from below (Dutch-English): "clear story, there is much in it". I agree. Thank you for all your videos.
@michellegil8529
11 жыл бұрын
Thank you Pete for this amazing video!! You are a blessing to us!
@gercacn
11 жыл бұрын
Thanks, Sue. If encourage you to study online "lesson 1" at sfhelp.org/gwc/guide1.htm. Questions are welcome!
@gercacn
11 жыл бұрын
It's never too late to free your true Self to guide you! See sfhelp.org/gwc/guide1.htm. Questions = welcome.
@nadiamediaq8
12 жыл бұрын
Your videos are amazing
@dracokiro
12 жыл бұрын
How can something that seems so simple be so difficult >.
@tonkekuijt
12 жыл бұрын
helder verhaal, er zit veel in!
@zabelicious
12 жыл бұрын
I have to agree with you here as I have been through that time and time again. This just kills my soul. All organizations are dysfunctional by nature one way or another. That is a fact. Many people don't see it because they rationalize it and try to make it ok, But it's not. It attacks the core of our integrity and creates a fragmentation that is intolerable. That is also why so many people want to be their own boss or do their own thing! Our economic system don not encourage that.
@laurettewilcock1934
11 жыл бұрын
Thankyou Pete . Hope youre well .
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
@Angelsdam many thanks!
@gercacn
11 жыл бұрын
Yes. See module 3 in lesson 1 at sfhelp.org/gwc/guide1.htm
@MrJMont21
11 жыл бұрын
Pete Gerlach, I would like to have inner family systems therapy in my clinic. But is it the same to what your website tala about?
@mariamakinen2651
7 жыл бұрын
As i said my video gets stuck... What a pity. He is an angel..
@gercacn
11 жыл бұрын
I do undeerstand, and am glad for you. Your "intuition" was/is probably your wise, true Selfr. See sfhelp.org/gwc/personalityt.htm
@zabelicious
12 жыл бұрын
I agree with you and already do these steps more or less consciously on an on-going basis however, I find that my Wounded friends have more difficulty applying themselves this way. It is almost as if they are too immature or missing the neurological apparatus. They take pills and always complain about one thing or another. I can clearly see they don't really want to improve. It doesn't seem to make sense except for the fact that this is how they get people's attention. No self-respect possible
@05121784
12 жыл бұрын
Also, Pete is right. You shouldn't violate your integrity. We should enjoy how we earn a living. If you don't, you're really missing out on a lot in life.
@mariamkinen8036
3 жыл бұрын
I cannot do this work because I have acquired something that is genuine , phenomenal n unique. My language is who I am ,n there are no such existing sub selves left that you describe . At least they are. hard to dig into after the transition to being subconsciously near innate from the age of 12-16. You can consult' my teacher about this. Many ppl take up an insurance to protect their unique , utterly sensational skills . I'm not telling this without being aware of being ". nothing much " = humility n silent victory over an evil father . The fatherless life. TY.
@zabelicious
12 жыл бұрын
To achieve self-esteem, one has to have integrity, which means being whole. All the sub-selves need to be in agreement because otherwise it is impossible to establish boundaries. Once one has a clear idea of their core values, one can proceed without guilt, shame, resentment and whatnot. The idea is to bring all the fragments together and act according to one's own personal values, not those of others. Some common sense and awareness is required however.
@mariamakinen2651
7 жыл бұрын
E K_Stone. I agree.....good man.
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
@TheKibeer Don't leave out needing your Mother's approval too!
@maryanneparker863
11 жыл бұрын
Hello gercacn can I have the direct link to the article you mentioned from your website? Thank you. Also thank you for what you are doing here
@reinersusan
11 жыл бұрын
Mr. Gerlach. Can you give a suggestion or examples on how to ask someone for feedback?
@adisyoye
3 жыл бұрын
what is the book that he recommends, i hear zen and inner game of tennis or what?
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
I disagree - violating your integrity for a job in a dysfunctional organization dilutes self esteem over time. A REALLY high price! Option - learn effective assertion skill - sfhelp.org/cx/skills/assert.htm
@alwaysrookie583
6 жыл бұрын
thank you
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
@tonkekuijt can anyone tranhslate this to English? Thanks!
@elsakampos7119
12 жыл бұрын
thanke you !!!
@zabelicious
12 жыл бұрын
It could the same as saying that their child subself is just that (i.e lack maturity because of shame and/or guilt) and might be dominant. As we know children are not emotionally mature as compared to adults and therefore generally cannot "see" or perceive reality with the same level of maturity. Wounded children cannot be aware because of the lack of maturity in their brain development. The process was stunted and basically arrested because of some form of trauma, That's what I mean...
@mariamakinen2651
7 жыл бұрын
To be honest i don,t know. My family wants me out of their way...
@gercacn
12 жыл бұрын
OK
@mariamkinen8036
3 жыл бұрын
With the history of my life, I'm not broken or fragmented , or improper. I'm well-balanced. . Someone somewhere needs to maintain a false image of me. They are delusional. Not me.
@gercacn
11 жыл бұрын
How about "I'd appreciate any feedback you can give me on _________., or5 "I'm interested in knowing what you think about ______."
@SuzanneCheung
8 жыл бұрын
How?
@gercacn
11 жыл бұрын
Cut and paste these: sfhelp.org/gwc/selflove.htm and sfhelp.org/gwc/confidence.htm. Better still, see sfhelp.org/gwc/guide1.htm.
@yosratag918
8 жыл бұрын
1# first subself false ones lead you that make yourself esteem low (if you read the subself in the doctor Website you will understand if not imagine them as inner voice have personality in very normal way ) *inner critic : criticism of yourself tone it *perfectionist : tone them no one ever will be perfect . *people pleaser : tone them it's good to do people nice but this not our worth what they think it's nice or make them happy 2# collect yourself respect list : what you do makes you respect yourself what the people you respect do that you ( and just you ) think it's respected and why collect your own carcteria of self respect and work it 3#communication : inhance it now 4#identify people shame you and make solid boundaries. . it's there opinions not our reality 5#mistake is opportunity 6#don't compare yourself to other. . just be the best you 7#then notice what you like about yourself and enhance your power and keep it 8#ask how people see you treat yourself. . just to learn yourself better no shame no criticism. love you all wish we all get better 💚
@mariamkinen8036
5 жыл бұрын
This is not how I see things. None at all. I had professional doctors to begin my journey with. Maybe this works for some. Not me. Sub selfs ? I don't have those. Addicts to booze might.
@mariamakinen2651
7 жыл бұрын
I honestly wish my Br. Self is not a false sub self....!!!!! I was cured by some good pp... Trransition to these values.
@emmalineproductions
10 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your teaching and generous sharing. I have found much self affirming clarity from these teachings, it's making a big difference in my life. I have one comment on this video: In the comment 'ask for feedback' I would suggest a healthy level of decernment in choosing who to ask for feedback from and listen to this feedback with self respect in mind. In my experience I have received feedback from people in their GWC state, and have taken on distorted views of an innicedent and along with insensitive approaches to discussing issues in relationships. I have been a codependent, approval seeking type and this feedback has had big impacts in my life. I am so grateful to now see and have learned to be kind to myself when taking stock of feedback. That is a big part of self awareness for self respect!
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