Track 14/closer on Let Up.
This was recorded more than two years ago with the rest of Let Up but was never released on here for various reasons. After a metric ton of internal debate, here's the long overdue closer that the mixtape was meant to have.
Recorded at Bedclub Studios
My Instagram: @prestonjarrettmusic
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Lyrics
This is it. The all-encompassing nothing. The vast
Emptiness of hell itself, which in all actuality, is where I'll probably end up
Inside the multi-colored expiration of stars we idolize throughout daydreams
Painted onto the back of our eyelids, as if death could be so generous,
All the love we've ever given out, or took for granted, wiped across oblivion as
Far as fear of the undiscovered could see, then again, life has been terrifying enough
Every motion a mechanical answer to a wrong turn on the path of contentment
There isn't a soul you could extract from a body so self-destructive, I want to
Die in the arms of someone who pretends to loves me, in a dim-lit room with a view of the city below
A tangible web of metallic lullabies, luminosity giving way to something more ambiguous
Struggle to surmise the difference between feeling you and you actually being there, like
Crippling depression as an ever-evolving thing, watching it walk upright and struggle to survive
By hunting every positive thought within sight, tearing their insides out and finding joy in helplessness
I will eventually make things right, I will be someone's rainy day, someone's eye in their
Hurricane, a hand to hold in the storm that weathered a lifetime of things tortured and frail
I will love and I will be loved, I will find a body to call home
Not unlike a glorified suicide note or a disingenuous "thank you" to everyone
Gracious enough to show face at my self-inflicted head wound of a cry for attention, mentioning
Every daily defeat, bedridden at 2 AM, obsessed with the fact that no one wants to be here with me
Trade my life in for one with direction, if I could leave, I'm not sure I would
When the words you've spoken come rushing back down, not a single hand will reach out for you
Drift away all you want, but in the end, you're still in the same cold room you were before
Because you'll shove everyone away before they have the chance to guide you into open arms, and
This same method of rejection is exactly why you're going to die alone with a razor blade in hand claiming "self-defense"
You're not smart enough to hide, and you're going to tire out from all that running
Time is killing itself, and you'll spend the rest of it anticipating all that's been a long time coming
You've been waiting for as long as you can remember, but truth is, you never wanted it badly enough
The future is looking back, and now regret is the thread woven into your head because it's not coming undone
Going left can't make things right, but it'll always be too late to turn them around, and when
The sun submerges itself below the horizon, you'll dissipate in gradually fading memories
Snowing down from whatever delusions of grandeur you have regarding dying, if there's an
Afterlife, it'll be an eternity attempting to figure out how you could put so much time and effort into giving up
I'm not sure how deep I should swim to search for the profundity in killing myself
All the sex and money in the world couldn't save me, no matter what I do, I will keep
Trying to articulate the feelings of dread I get from abandoned houses and long rides home
Been a minute since I felt anything but the distance between me and you
Tomorrow will come
You won't find love
but you'll never escape it
The hopeless don't budge
Inspiration will dry
Can't figure yourself out
through poor health and drugs
Contemplation won't make things right
Neither will selfishness nor pride
Obsession will rip you in half
Your decisions are death
So is everyone around you
Too late to apologize
Everything's said and done
Time to move on
Негізгі бет Preston Jarrett - The Birth and Death of Everything (prod. by High Flown)
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