My problem was purity culture was only on keeping girls pure but what about the boys?
@NuniRayyy
7 ай бұрын
Say it againnnn!!! I believe purity culture is another thing that stir from the times where men believed women were their property and they control what she does
@IDCThrowAway
7 ай бұрын
no one keeps boys in check because YALL are the ones who give boys access so boys can’t run through yall unless you let him. women control men’s access to sex (obviously excluding men who take it) the majority of men don’t have access to sex either & yall know this. they did a study & it basically shows that if a woman doesn’t find you a attractive she doesn’t even register you as existing in her head there was no activity so which is worse being turned down by majority of women (including some women who are likely not even in your league when you try to settle) or not even existing?
@PlayaflyJoe27
7 ай бұрын
Men and women are different and the same things don’t apply to each gender equally
@magicluster5059
6 ай бұрын
@@PlayaflyJoe27when it comes to sleep around it should apply to both
@PlayaflyJoe27
6 ай бұрын
@@magicluster5059 no it shouldn’t. Men and women are different so the rules are different
@AhdayahAhdawan
7 ай бұрын
I dress very modest but you would never know by my Lingerie drawer lol
@anared1990
7 ай бұрын
And that's exactly the point, nobody else needs to know about the freak in the sheets. That's respectable.
@BrandyAndersonthewriter
7 ай бұрын
Look, they were wearing long skirts in Jesus day and folks were still getting down 🤣
@Peace2dagawdz
7 ай бұрын
I’m 34. Grew up Cogic. I’m still weird. Not married. No kids. Very traumatizing experience .
@christinaf.51
Жыл бұрын
Everyone in this comment section missed the point. They were literally joking about how purity culture made some of yall boring 😂
@yourfavoriteauntiespod
Жыл бұрын
🗣️THANK YOU❗️❗️❗️
@ffffggffffgfgrrfdf
7 ай бұрын
Dudes gonna chase any skirt tail whether long or short.
@KaraBahama
7 ай бұрын
They are not saying purity is wrong. They are saying that the purity culture didn’t give women the tools to be feminine and sexual creatures for their husbands. Nothing defiles the marriage bed. But if you stiff they saying your hubby may be tempted to look elsewhere cuz purity culture didn’t admonish the men, just the women.
@rachelleanonymous2740
Жыл бұрын
Just want to point out that last part of the clip is still the same internalized misogyny purity culture message - that women are responsible for men's sexual behavior. Telling women they need to cover up so they don't get raped, and that they also need to be sexy because their husbands will cheat if they don't, are two sides of the same coin - both of which advocate rape culture, and create a society where men are told they are entitled to women's bodies (and women are told their bodies are not their own). Men are not entitled to sex and women are not sex objects. Men are responsible for their own actions and women are not responsible for the actions of men. Period. Abstinence before marriage is a valid choice (for those able to make it - purity culture often ignores the fact that not all women get to make that choice due to molestation, rape, etc. and only mentions such things in the context of victim-blaming), but the systemic objectification of women in purity culture completely obliterates healthy a sexual relationship within marriage by setting it up as a weird power dynamic where the man is depicted as a wild animal with uncontrollable sexual urges he can't be held responsible for and the woman is constantly trying to manipulate him into not cheating by using sex as a safety coping mechanism. A mutually-beneficial, loving, respectful, and fulfilling sexual relationship is completely impossible under these circumstances. Purity culture is a lie that does not deliver its promised results, but rather produces unhealthy, broken relationships.
@gloriademissie1507
7 ай бұрын
Exactly cause the last part had me thinking they missed their own point but your analysis was on par 👏🏽👏🏽
@shanshanfo
5 ай бұрын
Thank you for saying this. I’m a woman that could not participate in the purity movement, due to my childhood trauma and early adulthood force. It’s one of my many regrets in life. I’m still weird, I come off as pure and modest because I believe god has kept me that way due to my life experiences. My mind has not moved from the purity stage even though life was happening to me, I still consider myself pure regardless. I do think sometimes everything isn’t for everybody, so I just can’t fathom showing so much outside.
@rachelleanonymous2740
5 ай бұрын
@@shanshanfo I am so sorry that happened to you. Much love on your healing journey my friend. ❤️
@terseandtiny1746
7 ай бұрын
You don't have to be outwardly sexy. That sexiness is for behind closed doors with your spouse not for others.
@HollyALautner
Ай бұрын
But see, I think a big problem with that way of thinking is that girls are raised their whole lives being taught not to think about sex, to not act sexual, to cover themselves up, that sex is inherently dirty and sinful and don’t think about it until you’re married and then on your wedding night some switch will just flip in your brain and suddenly sex will be OK and amazing. And surprise surprise, it doesn’t work that way. I have female religious family members who’ve told me that even after years of marriage, they can’t be naked in front of their spouse unless the lights are off. It’s still really hard for them to express physical attraction. It’s pretty common that sex is not very enjoyable for married Christian women (at least that’s been my experience with the Christian women I’ve spoken to). That shame and anxiety runs DEEP. Christianity teaches repression of the sexual self, and I believe that to be deeply unhealthy and even traumatic.
@midastouchbaby
7 ай бұрын
As a woman who grew up in the holiness church they wore lingerie that is sexy for their husbands. What they give their husbands is not for the world. Grown men who love their wives don't cheat. So if you think dressing sexy will keep your husband faithful then why are there so many broken sexy women out there. The answer is an unfaithful person will cheat no matter what.
@Nonkulycis_01
Жыл бұрын
The day people understand that we stay pure for God not for our next husbands, people would stop coming up with excuses not to stay pure
@yourfavoriteauntiespod
Жыл бұрын
We aren’t using purity culture as a scapegoat for an excuse to not be pure we’re shedding light and how it’s effected some women. We’re 100% for purity.
@naomihaley5623
Жыл бұрын
There is no such thing as God. Thats the problem with society now. U guys refuse to see religion is a form of control.
@RDCFemmes
7 ай бұрын
And husband also needed to stay pure for God and not being a virgin doesn't stop a person from being pure because God forgive sex as much as he forgive lies and gossip abd He said that what comes out of our mouth is what defile us men and women not what happens between with our reproductive organs
@breaunythomas4052
7 ай бұрын
@@RDCFemmesThank you she even said what do you wear for your husband. Meaning pure women are weird.
@kkb892
7 ай бұрын
That’s the perspective that should have been taught. Because a lot of women are angry with purity culture because the intimacy in the marriage wasn’t there and they ended up leaving the marriage and the faith. You’re correct, it needs to be taught that waiting is for GOD FIRST.
@juwairiyahummabdullah
7 ай бұрын
I’m a muslim and we cover up outside the house because we are for our mens eyes only, we dont wear that at home. In the house we can be sexy and in touch with out femininity and sexuality. That doesnt mean we have to expose that part of ourselves to the world
@JameraZahar.
5 ай бұрын
I wear skirts down to my ankles and cover up. I also wear a headwrap and no makeup. Outside. For a few reasons but mostly for myself and my husband. Its extremely fun to turn into somebody new when im in the house. It makes my husband excited to come home and makes outings even more fun knowing that when we get home im going to tranform in more ways than one. Its a turn on for both of us. Especially since we go out together a lot. I am not sure what other people do it for and I dont think ive ever talked to other women about it much. The way I dress in the home could also be because Im younger but I was always taught to not be extremely covered at home or only expose myself for sex especially because there has to be a balance or both of you will be sad and depressed. When I chose to start covering up before I got married I was so caught up in purity I didnt put anything on not even pajamas to make myself feel sexy and free sexually while still respecting my morals and beliefs. I remember saying "I cant wait to get married so I can finally do this and that" over time I got depressed and it made me realize yes my exposure is a gift to my husband but dressing sexy and doing my hair and nails is actually for me too. I felt so much better when I started doing things for me behind closed doors. Having a husband just makes dressing sexy more fun or something. Respectfully my husband be on me like white on rice when it comes to physical attraction because I know when to turn it off and on. All that and he is just a great guy and husband. The younger women i know who are covered up honey veiled from head to toe are ex strippers and all kinds of stuff. It goes down. But i agree the church ladies do not teach other women how to be sexy and then some women are confused or uncomfortable. I had to learn to be a woman while being modest on my own and it was so scary and uncomfortable and a lot of google.
@pearl559
3 ай бұрын
lol never heard it put that way but I definitely agree! finally becoming a normal person now that I’m out
@carolynwilliams6248
7 ай бұрын
Too much world in the church.
@pinkapotamus9266
6 ай бұрын
What I didn’t like was the fact that while we’re taught to remain virgins until we’re married (men and women) s3x is treated as taboo. Well, guess what, it’s not! We need to be educated on what is going to happen, things that are normal, that it’s ok to like it, sometimes physical issues cause problems, how to prevent pregnancy, etc. If that’s not coming from a Biblical pov if you are a Christian….what are you learning? I thankfully had a few women I could talk to and one gave great advice. She told me she always wears nightclothes that make her feel beautiful so while the outside world sees her modesty, her husband sees her in a way no one else does.
@lb1798
5 ай бұрын
Who said purity makes you not in touch with your sexuality?. What does skirt down to your ankles have to do with what your night gown looks like? Silly🙃
@Ayesha_Michelle
5 ай бұрын
I can’t even focus y’all outfits sooo cute❤
@hopelove1595
5 ай бұрын
Sadly, 😢 women connecting to our sensual side has not decreased or stopped cheating men from cheating. My mother always told me not to get hung up on my good looks because a man will cheat on a pretty woman as quickly as he will an ugly one if he wants to do it. What she was saying is real and right 💯. A cheating man is going to cheat whether a woman dresses in a "holy, modest way" or if she dresses like a loose booty. Cheating men cheat and that's that! It's not the style of 👗 that keeps them or causes them to cheat. They cheat because they are greedy and have insatiable lust which they choose not to get "under control" through fasting and praying, as they were instructed to do in The Bible. Knowing this, what we, women, should be concerned with is the state and condition of our souls when we must stand in the face of God 👑 and be judged. That's what the older mothers in The Christian Church understood about men that most of us can't seem to contend with in our own lives. Because after we have done everything he likes, dresses in the way he likes, experiments with him and, even, demean ourselves and he still cheats, many are brought so low they nearly lose their minds. You see, they, foolishly, thought men cheated because their wives weren't having intercourse with them. In most cases, that was a big lie 🤥. Those women were taught to surrender and submit to their husbands but the amount of s-e-x, positions, sexy lingerie, etc. changes nothing in face of a cheating heart. Old mothers understood the nature of men so they didn't obsess about their cheating. They let God 👑 deal with them and we must learn to do the same. Too many women are losing their minds and wasting their times trying to force a man to be something he isn't and may NEVER be....a faithful, God-fearing, loving, unselfish man. Surely, we must know, there aren't enough of them to go around so all of us aren't going to get one. 🤷🏾♀️ Unfortunately, for MOST women, who don't know men they haven't grown to understand that reality. Nevertheless, our bodies, in the most sensual way, is for our husbands, only, to experience. That's not what I say, it's what The Word of God says.
@tremainedavis6836
5 ай бұрын
They dressed like that in public, but I’m sure they switch it up in private
@eulicehooper6340
5 ай бұрын
I have many thoughts, so many years of these conversations. I was uncle Luke raised and went to church regularly but if anyone was trying to be pure you were ostracized and laughed at. It was so much confusion around sexuality and holiness passed down. I was also apart of the era where the church girls were considered the biggest freaks. So much of that dogma was steeped in fear of a man being led astray. You also have an uproar of girls giving oral sex because at least it’s not vaginal, and pregnancy being the fear more then dealing with the heart of lust and need for self control. Not to mention the ignorance around girls not knowing their bodies, boys also and teen pregnancy increasing by leaps and bounds. It just didn’t work, it was not healthy.
@eulicehooper6340
5 ай бұрын
People wearing clothes to bed still??? 😂😂😂 I thought everybody was going yo bed naked.😂😂😂
@TheKaydij
7 ай бұрын
New topic, very interesting
@kingkenyon5195
Жыл бұрын
To women it was weird because they were sleeping with any and everybody, but to men purity Is still in style.
@yourfavoriteauntiespod
Жыл бұрын
We’re actually talking about women who grew up in church and were taught purity early and therefore maintained virginity and/or abstinence for extended periods of time. Thanks for the engagement though.
@queenofroses9132
Жыл бұрын
Why are husbands in church cheating on their purity wives?
@isaiah6659
Жыл бұрын
👐🏽😇👐🏽 PREACH Soon as the lady started speaking my eyes went ...👀...
@brandygee9954
7 ай бұрын
@@yourfavoriteauntiespod💯
@albertvirgil4471
Ай бұрын
Stop it. NOT TELLING THE TRUTH IS BAD. YOU HAVE MADE YOUR CHOICE. DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES! LET OTHERS MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES!
@Yvonne_ennovY
5 ай бұрын
That last part though 😢 This entire clip is 100% true but especially that last part. Cringeworthy.
@tremainedavis6836
5 ай бұрын
Everything ain’t for everybody to see
@Kadafitheprince2379
7 ай бұрын
Purity is weird but multiple baby daddies multiple std’s and multiple heart breaks are cool
@cxm1211
7 ай бұрын
I was one who had the skirt to the ankle at home it’s the same because you get content🤷🏽♀️
@_promisestonikki
3 ай бұрын
Til this day!!!
@HiNinqi
4 ай бұрын
Which ep is this from?
@yourfavoriteauntiespod
4 ай бұрын
Ep 105
@ancientroyalty4656
6 ай бұрын
I'll be weird for the Lord. ❤
@dancepraisersclark6574
7 ай бұрын
What?! Purity and Holiness is weird?? Really? Long skirts ain't even holiness. So you blaming women for men's lack of purity and holiness?
@kharilobin1429
7 ай бұрын
So if “purity” made women weird, what did “sexual freedom” “my body my choice” or whatever you want to call it make them? 🤔 they saying that the women in long skirts can’t be sexy for their husbands, but the chicks running around half naked can’t seem to get a husband 🤷🏾♂️
@dianew7058
7 ай бұрын
It made them 304s
@candacethecreative
5 ай бұрын
they’re saying purity culture, not the practice of purity. the way it’s taught and pushed, without the balance of sharing that sex & sexuality are beautiful and desires from God… the focus is on shame and sin, and without that other perspective its hard to flip the switch back on when we finally do get married. i still felt like i was doing something dirty.
@kurtisgonzales37
Жыл бұрын
Purity didn't make y'all weird... Promiscuity did. Granted, guess we're fucked then, and now too.
@queenofroses9132
Жыл бұрын
It shouldve made men weird.. Promiscuity....wait. It did.
@kurtisgonzales37
Жыл бұрын
@@queenofroses9132 It did make men weird. It made making a family weird. Women hold the power of sex, men hold the power of relationships. Men do things for status, for women. When women lost their value, so did men. Yet women can't seem to understand why.
@queenofroses9132
Жыл бұрын
@@kurtisgonzales37 no extra marital affairs made family weird esp when those faithful and holy wives found that their husbands fathered children outside of their marriages....at their husbands funerals...His children felt esp weird at their dads funeral learning they had siblings they didnt grow up with...or maybe their fathers didnt value the relationship he shared with said wife. But whose judging? Wives just have to accept whatever the man brings to the relationship.
@kurtisgonzales37
Жыл бұрын
@@queenofroses9132 you talking about the exception of women is disingenuous. And what about the women who keep their kids from their dads? lol infidelity was accepted from men until the 70s. I'm not saying I agree with that, but women should pick more wisely, and value their bodies. And what do you mean by "accepting what the man brings"? 50k a year enough? 5'10 enough? Ford pinto enough? Faithful? Loving? Don't act like all men are shit. 70% of divorce are by women, and 90% of women with a degree. You know how many times I've heard, he just wasn't exciting? They wanted more from a loyal ass dude? You've got 100% of the women, only wanting 15% of the men. Women believe their value higher than it is. And men believe their value to be lower than what it is. Now you figure out why that is.
@queenofroses9132
Жыл бұрын
@@kurtisgonzales37 nope not deflecting from the topic
@andybrowne9578
Жыл бұрын
That's the secret but people are not easilly contented in unacin
@RelevantEd_DrHenderson
Жыл бұрын
Disagree. If you think Christian women didn't know how to be sexy in years past you're missing a whole lot of history.
@yourfavoriteauntiespod
Жыл бұрын
We’re talking about a specific set of women who grew up in the Christian church in the 90s and early 2000s where there was a subset of teaching about abstinence that we call “purity”.
@herringtonherding
Жыл бұрын
@@yourfavoriteauntiespod I don't think it matters what time you're talking about it you are obviously advocating for sin. Which is the problem with the world is it is; sin.
@yourfavoriteauntiespod
Жыл бұрын
@@herringtonherding No we aren’t, we’re advocates for purity and abstinence actually.
@herringtonherding
Жыл бұрын
@@yourfavoriteauntiespod who you foolin lol
@Ls2ELevation
7 ай бұрын
What’s wild is modesty being weird 🤔…….. women aren’t called to be sexy for “boyfriends” we’re called to be sexy for our husband. And before yall come stating “well how would you find him not being sexy” ……… you being “sexy” is what’s feeding men lust! As well as your own ANNDDD the men are still choosing MEN behind your sexy back 🤷🏿♀️ So after the men get an overdose of the “sexy” (that’s really turned nudeness) now we’re wondering why men don’t respect us and still choose the boring woman to marry while lusting after the “sexy” one. But I get what you saying…….. it was weird but I understand.
@RDCFemmes
7 ай бұрын
What's weird is that you are making men, the subject of our behaviour. It's noten, it's God.
@Ls2ELevation
7 ай бұрын
@@RDCFemmes not following what you're trying to express. Or maybe you misinterpreted what I expressed. 🤔
@daoppgrvyrd777
6 ай бұрын
Any excuse to thot it up💯🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
@michellelewis6914
7 ай бұрын
That’s culture , Not Christ ❤
@dancepraisersclark6574
7 ай бұрын
And by the way, purity and holiness have very little to do with sexuality. Please do an exhaustive study.
@mdugars77
6 ай бұрын
And did!!
@moneypenny3050
7 ай бұрын
Please
@KFontLab
7 ай бұрын
No judgement just sharing some thoughts #1 purity culture is not a thing. You are either practicing abstinence or you are not. #2 A woman or man can be pure and not be awkward. Getting in touch with the “sexy” in you does not have to do with having sex in your relationships outside of marriage to prove you can be sexy. A woman can absolutely get in touch with her sensuality and her sexy in other healthy ways. #3 There is a difference in being overly religious and extra vs. being a Christian woman. The word of God talks about all of this if we would only read it. Keeping yourself or abstaining has more to do with discipline or lack thereof. As popular or as okay as sex has become to have whenever you are feeling it, it simply was not designed for that. So this decentering men movement and purity culture is simply what was supposed to be done anyway. Meaning a human being should never be your God. You can value your husband/wife or mate without making them your entire world.
@antonioboyd9144
Жыл бұрын
I agree.
@gatheringgoodness4us
7 ай бұрын
Sad. Jesus will show you how unimportant sex is if you love Him right. Look at Mary Magdalene and the women who followed Jesus. Nevertheless, if marriage happens, just make sure God gave that man to you because he won’t need your sexy clothes to turn him on…once you are pure you see things purely (both, born again, male and female). The body of a Godly man’s wife is a turn-on without decoration. Ask Adam in Genesis. So how you view sex is a reflection on how you view God!
@msmojo1
7 ай бұрын
Here y’all go again talking non-sense and utter rubbish.
@super84man80
7 ай бұрын
🤮🤮🤮
@chess-is-king
Жыл бұрын
Women see purity a weird. But then they wonder why men are going overseas or either just choosing not to be married
@queenofroses9132
Жыл бұрын
So men are pure? That explains the trillion dollar sex industry....I wonder whose paying all those women?
@chess-is-king
Жыл бұрын
@@queenofroses9132 no one said that men or women are pure. But collectively, most men don't view purity as something weird or worthless. But I have heard several women online and in person shame a virgin by saying "you think your purity is valuable". Don't take my word for it. Look it up on your social media apps. You'll see thousands of women making terrible comments towards virgin women. And towards virgin men. They call them incels. YOU WILL NEVER see a man shaming a woman for being a virgin.
@yourfavoriteauntiespod
Жыл бұрын
We never said purity is weird. We support purity and abstinence until marriage. What we’re referring to is some of the subsets of purity teaching in the church that impacted women socially, I.e. there were teachings about not dating, extreme modesty in regards to clothing, etc. that were detrimental.
@yourfavoriteauntiespod
Жыл бұрын
We’ve actually both experienced men who did not want to date us because we’re abstinent. So your statement isn’t everyone’s experience.
@kingkenyon5195
Жыл бұрын
To women it was weird because they were sleeping with any and everybody, but to men purity Is still in style.
@queenofroses9132
Жыл бұрын
So why are husbands cheating on holiness women?
@herringtonherding
Жыл бұрын
@@queenofroses9132 because obviously the Man is still in sin. It doesn't make it the woman's fault. When you practice holiness your actions are your own consequences. When a spouse cheats on you because you were one it makes you suffer the consequences as well that's why you must have a strong man who puts God before his own flesh desires, so it's the man who is still practicing sin who needs to repent of his wicked ways. Repentance is not just saying you're sorry repentance is turning away from your evil ways.
Пікірлер: 133