Q) My wife and I have a mutual married friend who is presently involved in adulterous affairs; please give us some idea of what our behavior toward her should be. We try not to judge her but still feel the need to express our displeasure with her behavior. What should we do?
TRUTH IS A TWO-EDGED SWORD.
A) It's tough. The first thing you gotta do is pray allot.. You just don't barge into those things because sometimes you do more harm than good. Remember that the Truth is a two-edged sword, but don't use it like a bludgeon to beat somebody's brains out.. It's more like a scalpel and the person is injured, you might have to use some very delicate surgery there.. Be careful you don't do more damage than good. What should your attitude be? Your attitude should be the same as God our Father.. Does God love us in our sins? You better believe He does. Does God stop loving us when we go off? No, He does not, thank God! He loves us and maybe even more..why? because we're sick, we're sick with the cancer of sin. Now I have to love the sinner. Now God loves the sinner no matter what.. How can I be different from my Father? And so my friend is in an adulterous affair.. I don't love her less; perhaps I love her more.. and so I start to pray for her, I start to fast for her, I start to offer my Communion for her.. I begin to attack her problem, which is moral and spiritual, at its roots with the only thing I can really use, the weapons of prayer and penance, and I do that for a while, and I pray and ask the Lord 'what do you want me to do, should I say anything?' But you pray about that and you ask the Holy Spirit for help.. so you love her more and more and more, and you don't sit there like a bump on a log you do something about it, you pray, you fast.. Then one day your friend may say 'Oh I'm not very happy I have a problem'.. and then you say 'Oh! here it comes, God's giving me the opportunity'.. so you take a deep breath and you approach it with great love and great patience. You don't judge the person, you don't pound on them, and they're asking for compassion, they're reaching out. You don't hide the truth but you give them the truth in love, with great love.. and you can be an instrument of their salvation.
Fr. John Corapi
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