"Thats why I bought a rifle" is probably the best delivered line.
@carpballet
3 ай бұрын
It’s actually not the best delivered line.
@MicahScottPnD
3 ай бұрын
@@carpballetWhich one is?
@buddyguy4723
3 ай бұрын
@@MicahScottPnDthe gun hand i guess
@pueraeternus.
3 ай бұрын
as the founding fathers intended
@MicahScottPnD
3 ай бұрын
wow, there really are layers to this! Layers, like a... like a... oh man, I'm blanking.... something that has layers....
@ThisSteveGuy
3 ай бұрын
Hardly anybody in the liberal media is reporting about this.
@ivareskesner2019
3 ай бұрын
They can't handle the truth is the problem.
@TheGalaxyWings
3 ай бұрын
Joe many liberals does it take to change a log by bolb? None , their to busy ???? Their gender 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@TheKijib
3 ай бұрын
this but actually
@MakusinMeringue
3 ай бұрын
Neither the conservatives. A crying shame that our democratic republic has been reduced to such squalor.
@chadgunner4403
3 ай бұрын
Hardly anybody in the liberal media is reporting. Actually hardly anybody in the media is reporting.
@MrQuantumInc
3 ай бұрын
He thinks digging his own grave will bring him closer to the astral plane, which just shows how out of touch he is with the intangible.
@Iaotle
3 ай бұрын
Is being out of touch with the intangible a good thing?
@arnbrandy
3 ай бұрын
This comment is funnier than the entire video. @theonion could hire you.
@crowone464
3 ай бұрын
Oh so that's why he did it. CEASEFIRE NOW
@z7sk
3 ай бұрын
This comment too clever for KZitem
@MrKiwifruit2011
3 ай бұрын
"in all 63 counties of the astral plane" - whoever's responsible for that line deserves a raise.
@Heinkelly
3 ай бұрын
At first I thought this was a Babylon Bee video from that title
@DonaldDucksRevenge
3 ай бұрын
It was pure genius
@Gotlyfe
3 ай бұрын
She is the only candidate that wants to dismantle the war machine, fr tho.
@RictusHolloweye
3 ай бұрын
@@Heinkelly - You must have been surprised when the video was funny.
@Stigmaballs
3 ай бұрын
Zorbog for president
@momom6197
3 ай бұрын
Can't believe people are still rooting for Zorbog. Like, come on, he's older than the universe itself, he's no longer qualified for the presidency! It's just ridiculous how quickly the Zorbogists always evade the question of how Zorbog can really understand minorities since he's never experienced non-bliss; clearly he can't cater to the poor and homeless appropriately. His program of making them happy doesn't even pretend it'll make them richer and adequately contemptuous of the Chinese. It's just complete nonsense!
@Vertexnine
3 ай бұрын
The clear frontrunner based on polling from a least 42 astral plane counties
@cheeseisgood17
Ай бұрын
zorbog is a racist
@mattw7949
3 ай бұрын
"I held the gun in my hand and felt this surge of power, and suddenly I knew how GOD feels when HE holds a gun." -Homer Simpson Wiser words have never been spoken.
@StevieObieYT
3 ай бұрын
Man is fighting against some serious demons. Thank goodness he's got a rifle to protect himself!
@mau5pilot854
3 ай бұрын
It’s becoming harder and harder to tell that this is satire.
@jsphn2008
3 ай бұрын
Fake, Biden would forget what he was doing halfway through.
@chadgunner4403
3 ай бұрын
The Onion only posts real news
@ImortalZeus13
3 ай бұрын
(If you genuinely believe that this could've happened you need to touch grass)
@RictusHolloweye
3 ай бұрын
@@ImortalZeus13 - They're referring to the satire of media reporting, not to satire of real events.
@paulis7319
2 ай бұрын
That's because it's probably not.
@cocacola4blood365
3 ай бұрын
Gun Owner reminds me of when Adam West on Family Guy was marrying his right hand. When his left rose to object West responded with "You had your chance!"
@mplsmark222
3 ай бұрын
That was a classic bit. His work on the show was all the more funny because of us old folks associating him with Batman.
@DonaldDucksRevenge
3 ай бұрын
The Marianne Williamson bit was pure unadulterated genius
@mrmcawesome9746
3 ай бұрын
The news on all the regular outlets are so nuts these days that the only way the Onion could one-up them was going full astral, anything less and nobody would buy that it was satire anymore.
@juliankohler5086
3 ай бұрын
"That's why I bought a rifle" _laughing so much, I can't hear the rest of the episode_
@XMLmann
3 ай бұрын
Bro was trippin 💀
@HSRUA427
3 ай бұрын
I am also unsure if I could live with myself after unaliving myself in defense of myself. Truly troubled times
@wetsponge175
3 ай бұрын
After all these years, the Onion STILL makes me laugh faster, and louder than any recent SNL skit. That's why I bought a rifle.
@chadlimestall9201
3 ай бұрын
the gun owner guy makes me laugh; every time. I too was once afraid to put down my own gun
@cambriakilgannon12
3 ай бұрын
Something something cornpop
@aquariandawn4750
3 ай бұрын
I hear Corn Pop was a bad dude
@xXMapleVodkaXx
3 ай бұрын
We've come a long way from Diamond Joe doing donuts on the lawn in his '88 Trans Am GTA.
@yudithcaron8053
3 ай бұрын
At least we know that Joe Biden is healthy and strong enough to dig a six-foot hole. Too bad it was for his grave. He seems a bit depressed. He should see a doctor, maybe Dr. Jill Biden.
@Nip403
3 ай бұрын
I just had a heart attack with that notification until I realised what channel it was
@VColossalV
3 ай бұрын
So you thought for a moment that the president was digging a hole for themselves to be put into?
@chryssesandchaos
3 ай бұрын
🤣
@aishichakraborty1881
3 ай бұрын
The Onion is good at making realistic headlines
@donnelwaddledee965
3 ай бұрын
@@VColossalV One can hope
@Ozblivion
3 ай бұрын
ah the Onion Effect at its best
@lukerankin4681
3 ай бұрын
Why has The Onion not released a State of The Onion address?
@MicahScottPnD
3 ай бұрын
Good question 🤔
@RACaptialRegion
3 ай бұрын
He diggin for ice cream
@edge-rps
3 ай бұрын
The grave could be for cornpop
@Billaxle
3 ай бұрын
THIS is the kind of content The Onion was created for! 😂😂😂
@southend26
3 ай бұрын
Zorbog 2028 🇺🇸
@crow_feather
3 ай бұрын
Zorbog 2024! 🇺🇸
@thomasemmer2897
Ай бұрын
The onion really ain’t what it used to be
@anthonychihuahua
18 күн бұрын
A.I. generated rubbish does that
@krimsonklaww611
2 ай бұрын
I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire lol
@joefrommontana252
3 ай бұрын
Probably should have put this out BEFORE the state of the union speech. Not as funny now...
@greg77389
3 ай бұрын
nah it's even funnier
@l4ndst4nder
3 ай бұрын
Still digging his own grave on Palestinian
@persuasivebarrier2419
3 ай бұрын
oh noes, they made fun of the guy i'm voting for. better complain about how the onion is biased or something. oh, right, i'm not in a cult. 😀
@papapolk3590
3 ай бұрын
Do you understand how counterproductive this comment is?😂😂😂Zorborg for president!
@RadicalAntifa
3 ай бұрын
Avg trumpturd comment... only missing some brain-dead conspiracy theories
@UwU-235
3 ай бұрын
Idk man, kind of feels like a cult when youve got to make everything about the other guy
@persuasivebarrier2419
3 ай бұрын
@@UwU-235 idk man, kind of feels like a cult when evangelicals continue to wrap the american flag around a traitor with a failed coup and wants our allies invaded by a ruskie man with a napoleon complex.
@falsemcnuggethope
3 ай бұрын
@@UwU-235 can you name a cult that makes everything about "the other guy"?
@Rathom
3 ай бұрын
Zorbog has the Purple vote.
@Xcalator35
3 ай бұрын
OMG the gun owner bit is spot on!!😂
@DyseFromNowhere
3 ай бұрын
1:37 PERSONA!!!
@ChicCanyon
3 ай бұрын
This is bolder than i expect from the onion.
@dlobelow760
3 ай бұрын
This is the real news I've been needing
@godofdesruction
3 ай бұрын
The rare repeat skit since it was so popular the first time around lol.
@zubirademanojlovic2990
3 ай бұрын
I'm so sad Zorbog the Blissful lost !
@KyleBenzien
3 ай бұрын
This was amazing, thanks Onion!! 😂😂
@HardestEli
3 ай бұрын
I’m impressed he was able to get 6 feet deep with out tripping on nothing, hitting his head leaving this cruel world.
@haruruben
3 ай бұрын
How lively, digging is hard
@ClipKingsHQ
3 ай бұрын
How Zorbog the Blissful didn’t win, I’ll never know. He was great!
@powderedtoastfacekillah734
3 ай бұрын
It’s not his time. He’ll get em in ‘28
@aestevalis0
3 ай бұрын
Does self-self-defense fall under Stand Your Ground laws?
@falsemcnuggethope
3 ай бұрын
I've been wishing for the good old onion to return. The premise in the beginning was already alright, but the latter part of the video was superb!
@buddyguy4723
3 ай бұрын
And I figured he would want to be buried by the money pit
@MileHiGuy95
3 ай бұрын
When reality becomes stranger than satire The Onion has to go off the rails like this
@powderedtoastfacekillah734
3 ай бұрын
Zorbog never had a chance
@whiterabbit3533
3 ай бұрын
damn thats deep
@IdeasandInventions
3 ай бұрын
Old onion better Onion 😂
@MZWAtheMAN_MzwamandlaDlamini91
3 ай бұрын
All of this was surprisingly factual
@noodles5358
3 ай бұрын
And the Damn DMV cant fine a new candidate
@texan76
3 ай бұрын
this is brilliant 😂
@ivareskesner2019
3 ай бұрын
Completely understandable that he would do that. I'm going to build my own too when the time comes. I want to get the measurements and particulars just right. I'll be there for a while. I want to be comfortable.
@JesseConsopolus
3 ай бұрын
this is gold!
@alexfischer9213
2 ай бұрын
This sounds like a Rupert Pupkin joke
@ashlastname-bb4jg
3 ай бұрын
Zorbog the Blissful can still win everyone! Don't lose hope!
@GiantMushrooms
3 ай бұрын
This will probably become reality for sleepy creepy Joe.
@pauleugenio5914
3 ай бұрын
It’s almost satire if it weren’t true 😆 😭
@dexgrease5820
3 ай бұрын
Honestly, the low vibrating competition never stood a chance
@jaychapman6448
3 ай бұрын
Poor trigger discipline.
@ViceCoin
3 ай бұрын
Is a pimp cane a weapon?
@critture
3 ай бұрын
I didn't expect to see Desmond from Smiling Friends here.
@johnnydecomposizione3106
3 ай бұрын
Damn the states are going nuts these days huh
@konst80hum
3 ай бұрын
When satire is more believable than the reality.
@HisGaze
3 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂 oh noooo!!!! I’m so weak!!
@willythegman5509
3 ай бұрын
Seems right
@Odrikah
3 ай бұрын
Oh my God they're back
@gomongio
3 ай бұрын
Well, according with a Troy Mclure documentary, digging your own grave is a good way if saving money
@venom121584
3 ай бұрын
Lolol this is a good one
@trigcat3107
3 ай бұрын
I've been in love with Onion since 2008
@bretfisher7286
3 ай бұрын
Ha ha! This was a great one.
@reviewerreviewer1489
3 ай бұрын
Wow - at first I thought the first story headline might be satire but since KZitem Age restricted this video, it must be true!
@johnwelter7081
3 ай бұрын
Call your local representatives! We NEED more representation on alternate planes of existance. Spiritual essenses and disembodied flesh need your vote today!
@Owlmeatsandbeaks
3 ай бұрын
He was actually trying to bury a dog. Obviously.
@speicaldark
3 ай бұрын
Wow! Love the segment on guns!
@MegaVergan
3 ай бұрын
At least Marianne Williamson is getting coverage here.
@MrStGeorgeIllawarra
3 ай бұрын
Oops. I guess the Onion didn't expect a good State of the Union.
@steamfox6877
3 ай бұрын
Zhorbog tho😂😂😂
@thenazcalines9876
3 ай бұрын
Good news! We’re extending arts and crafts by 4 hours today!!!! 😂
@user-it3gp4vm1z
3 ай бұрын
2:00 Stock footage ahh face
@peterreynolds7343
3 ай бұрын
Such vigorous energy. This is truly the best biden
@DrDeathpwnsu
3 ай бұрын
Remember when the onion was funny and it had the money for actual production value?
@leonhart7306
3 ай бұрын
1:48 Someone has been playing a bit too much Persona 3 Reload.
@bill592011
3 ай бұрын
Greatest President EVER...America is booming..God bless you President Biden..
@Meatslapontable
3 ай бұрын
This was good lol
@Shiveringnudus
2 ай бұрын
Bahahahahaha 😂 if only it wasn’t satire. Hell for all I know it’s factual
@robstimson4234
3 ай бұрын
Damn, thought y'all had expired or something. Keep up the great satire.
@piecefool567
3 ай бұрын
RIP to those who thought this is real news at first sight. White horse says he was merely digging a large hole. Amazing man 😂
@justinlipkin
2 ай бұрын
The content was fine why did you add a repeat clip on the end again!
@randomdan85
3 ай бұрын
Classic 😂😂😂😂😂
@QianglingAcademy
Ай бұрын
This is ridiculously funny lfmao 😂😂😂
@joeszymanski3540
2 ай бұрын
The ONN .. one of the last reputable news stations.
@composerdoh
3 ай бұрын
I still want to know the name/bio of the woman who's reading the news now!
@Damingo63088
3 ай бұрын
Too much 😂
@robertnewell5057
3 ай бұрын
Too late
@japphan
2 ай бұрын
Vote Zorbog!
@user-lg3jx1sk5r
29 күн бұрын
I had to sign in to view this because there was "inappropriate content"?.... or was it because they want to log or dissuade viewers. There was NOTHING inappropriate or even close to it.
@hotmanchicken4209
3 ай бұрын
Yes Yes 😂
@stephaniealex1852
3 ай бұрын
He’s digging it for the previous guy. Immunity you know😂
@mattw7949
3 ай бұрын
Shhhh!
@CatEnthusiast-gr3cv
3 ай бұрын
writing quality isn't what it used to be
@TwinAquarius484
3 ай бұрын
Marianne is still the best candidate out of all of them 😂
@oriontigley5089
3 ай бұрын
*FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I ATE THE ONION* I didn't see the channel name at first and was sooo confused
@arnbrandy
3 ай бұрын
So this is what they call zoomer humor, I presume?
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