We produced four videos for our work with The Good Things Foundation on a campaign designed to reduce parental conflict in front of children.
www.seeitdifferently.org/
www.contentod.co.uk/good-thin...
What goes wrong for Maddie’s family?
In the first part of the clip, Steph complains about the mess in the house. Kieran ignores this and tries to get Steph to join in the fun: “We made cakes.”
But Steph wants to be heard: “You couldn’t do one thing.”
Steph is CRITICAL and Kieran is DEFENSIVE. This is a common situation but, instead of resolving it themselves, they ask Maddie:
- “Do you remember when I cleaned the kitchen?”
- “Did your dad clean the kitchen? Properly?”
Maddie has been put in the middle of the argument. She may worry that whatever she says will make things worse.
Could something like this happen in your family? What could you do differently?
In the second part of this clip, Maddie’s parents take responsibility for how they are feeling.
They use some important skills:
- STOP: See it through their eyes
- DON’T MAKE EXCUSES: Say how you feel
Kieran reassures Maddie. Instead of trying to defend himself, he talks about what happened: “The day got away from me”.
This allows Steph to stay calm so that both parents can talk about what is bothering them.
The conversation ends with Kieran and Steph agreeing on a way to move forward.
How might this be better for Maddie? If something like this comes up in your family, what skills could you use to help resolve things and move forward?
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