Time for another AITA! For the first one we discuss self-diagnosis and the appropriateness of peer diagnosis. This is something I’m planning a longer video about, which is going to involve a LOT of research, but I’d love to know your thoughts for now! The second post in this video is all about my BIGGEST enemy of ALL TIME…peas. It brought a tear to my eye! 🥺 If you're wondering whether to pursue an official diagnosis, you might find this video useful: kzitem.info/news/bejne/1Idnlmats6OSi44 If you need to watch ALL of the neurodivergent assholes (and non-assholes), I made a playlist: kzitem.info/door/PLEHi2YmjD7gFP5vIp7onqZ8xMqTrvYBdz Have a lovely week! 💛💛💛
@bethanythatsme
Жыл бұрын
Peas are also my nemesis 😂
@fo4urm640
Жыл бұрын
I've done a bunch of research. I've got 20 pages of life examples, split into sub categories. I think i also have adhd, which makes things a little more complex. I just sent the forms back to get a specialist on the nhs to diagnose both. Which i might be completely wrong. Anyway the waiting list is 3 years long, but i've heard going private, they just tend to take your money & agree blindly. I've just past 40, so i can wait a little while longer. I just keep thinking ...how many pages long will i have in 3 years!! xD Thanks for your videos, they've helped a bunch !!
@sarahgibbons9737
Жыл бұрын
Re the next video. Please expand on the it's not necessarily safe to self diagnose if you have another MH condition. My friend who has other MH diagnosis has suddenly diagnosed herself autistic despite scoring typical on AQ and the graph one. She said the results are irrelevant and I quote "if I feel autistic I am autistic" and no she hasn't done hours of research she literally just decided to weeks ago on the basis of her other friend saying she has traits (which are explained by her anorexia) she hasn't made spreadsheets and hasn't researched academic or reliable sources has just decided it 😔😬
@infernalweasal5670
Жыл бұрын
My nemesis is most of all mushrooms followed quickly by tomatoes
@babybirdhome
Жыл бұрын
Oh man, I want to respond to this properly so bad but it’s late and I need to go to bed because I have to work in the morning and I won’t have time to come back to it. But I’m 50 and self-diagnosed/self-identifying as most likely autistic, and after all the research I’ve done over the last decade since I first started to question whether or not I am, I’ve gone down the typical autistic rabbit hole. I think one thing that people who talk about self-diagnosis and “doing their research” might not be aligned on is what “doing my research” actually means. It’s a term that many people throw around in common communication, but in my experience, it means _very_ different things from one person to the next. I have a friend who always insisted that she’d “done her research” on vaccines and how they cause autism, and I’d frequently question her on it and ask for references so I could understand where she was coming from. She’d provided me dozens and dozens of links over the years of the sources she’d used to reach her conclusions, but every single one of them was a part of her own confirmation bias - she only ever looked for evidence that she was right, never that she was wrong, and any time I would send her counter research that either showed she was wrong or was cause to at least re-evaluate her other sources, she’d just straight up discount them rather than givinig them any consideration - much less the same level of consideration she’d give to sources that confirmed her position. To me, that’s not really “research”, that’s just religion or intellectual dishonesty or laziness. To me, research indicates that you’re looking for anything that could prove you wrong first - looking for the errors in your own conclusion and other possibilities that should be considered and ruled out first. When I talk about “doing my research” on autism and whether or not I’m probably autistic, what I’m talking about is honestly and literally several _thousands of hours_ that I’ve spent looking at both the pros and cons. I’ve read academic research, scientific research, watched talks given at academic and professional conferences by professionals, as well as listened to probably at least 40 or 50 different people who have been professionally diagnosed talking about their own lived experiences, both before their diagnoses as well as after, and the overwhelming pattern among all of those sources is that I’m most likely autistic based on the diagnostic criteria, the numerous tests available online (of which I heavily favored those that are or can be used in a legitimate diagnostic capacity when adminstered by a qualified professional), as well as my own life history, my own personal experiences, thoughts, and observations over the years aligning so tick for tick all down the line with almost all of the professionally diagnosed autistic people I’ve encountered or interacted with, as well as nearly all of the autistic people who know me well and have interacted with me quite a lot having told me that they also think I’m probably autistic. The weight of the evidence is overwhelmingly on the side of me actually being autistic, but with a few things that don’t align or are a bit out of whack that suggest I probably have one or more other comorbidities along with it. But the big point is this - when neurotypical people talk about “doing their research”, I’ve found that it quite often doesn’t really fit the term as well as they’d like it to. They almost _never_ look for counterpositions or contraindications, and I’ve never yet interacted with one who actually started out from the position that “I believe X, but I’m probably wrong, so I’m going to look first for all the evidence that I’m wrong before I do anything else”. I’m sure there must be some of them out there, but I haven’t encountered one yet. And I’ve _never_ encountered anyone who wasn’t neurodivergent who’s done more than a few dozen hours on KZitem or TikTok or read a few blogs or positive-reinforcement “preaching to the choir” sources. The difference is when I talk about the research I’ve done to figure out whether or not I’m probably autistic or not, it’s literally several thousands of hours I’ve spent doing that over the last 10-15 years of my life - not even slightly exaggerating. It probably would’ve been quicker and easier to just go get a Ph.D in psychology, but that isn’t what I was interested in and not what I was trying to figure out. I was only trying to figure myself out and understand my own life and why I couldn’t ever seem to manage to fit in or meet other people’s expectations of me while still living my own life as best I could in a world that’s clearly not built for someone like me.
@mleslie4883
Жыл бұрын
Self diagnosis is one thing. Un-diagnosing someone else is another. It is impossible to be an expert on someone else.
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
Self-diagnosis is a thing for a very good reason. Getting a formal diagnosis can be extremely hard to do. This is especially the case for those that were able to avoid being diagnosed earlier. Especially for those of us that are old enough that some of the related conditions didn't even have names. Neither SDAM nor aphantasia were named things when I was asking for help with this stuff during the '90s and hardly anybody knew that idiopathic tinnitus and migraines were psychosomatic and probably related to the masking. There hadn't even been any studies done at all on masking in autistic individuals. Nor was there any real awareness that there were other types of autism other than "classical autism." That being said, you are correct that self-diagnosis is a separate thing. It doesn't come with any legal rights, at least not in the US, and doesn't bring any medical treatment that you wouldn't otherwise be able to get. It's not generally something that people do if they don't at least have a bunch of traits as it is still a stigmatized condition and telling people you're autistic without a formal diagnosis tends to bring a reaction of, no you're not in many cases. I do think that it's kind of grey area whether saying self-diagnosed versus diagnosed is necessary, but having or not having a diagnosis doesn't say anything about whether or not a person is autistic. It's not like you go to the office for the results and they issue your autism and that you didn't have any of the traits before being given them.
@MartinMCade
Жыл бұрын
@@SmallSpoonBrigade Thank you for this. I'm what people might call "self-diagnosed" but I prefer to use a description like "My life experience is very similar to that reported by people who have formal diagnoses." I supposed if I had to shorten it I might say I'm self-identified neurodivergent, and I have a lot of evidence that might point in the direction of ASD, but without a formal diagnoses by a clinician I'm not going to label myself as certainly autistic. And at the age of 58 I have to decide whether it's worth the time and expense to seek a diagnosis. (I'm in the US so I would have to pay out of pocket. I'm fortunate enough to be able to afford it if I need to, but it might still be difficult or time-consuming.)
@TinyGhosty
Жыл бұрын
@@MartinMCade This is why I like the term "self-identified" far more. It does not get a knee jerk reaction from people as much. I self-identified before getting my diagnosis like many late diagnosed autistic adults.
@CeruleanStar
Жыл бұрын
@@SmallSpoonBrigadeTo add onto self-diagnosis being a thing for a reason, Official diagnosis can cause systemic discrimination. If you have a formal diagnosis, you are barred from doing some things people without one can, like immigrating to certain countries, adopting a child, etc. If someone who strongly suspects they are autistic plans to do any of those things, it might be better not to be diagnosed.
@ealpacaf.7463
Жыл бұрын
@@CeruleanStarTHIS!! more people need to know this part.
@MissBliss818
Жыл бұрын
"She's a hot girl from Venice Beach and hasn't learned manners yet" is enough info for me to not want to be friends with the person who describes their friend that way.
@Acorn905
11 ай бұрын
Yeah it's pretty rude :/ Why is her being a pretty have to do with being autistic or not? I don't know these people but saying she's faking it and she actually just rude is so mean
@Zectifin
11 ай бұрын
@@Acorn905 yeah I feel like if you're attractive people like to dismiss you. Like sometimes people can get through highschool unscathed through masking and being attractive. My gf is very pretty and had a ton of popular friends in high school cus she was better at masking than I. I'm a weirdo nerd who is average looking. People thought I was weird and when I met her I was intimidated cus she was pretty and one of the cool kids. Turns out she really liked me cus she could unmask and be her true self and she actually has more issues dealing with everyday life than even I do and masking drains the shit out of her.
@inspectre27
10 ай бұрын
@@Acorn905 "Why is her being a pretty have to do with being autistic or not?" People who are attractive are often given special treatment or have their bad behavior be given a pass. This is sometimes called "pretty privilege". If a person were to justify their pretty privilege bad behavior as being autistic, that would be a crap thing to do, which is what I think OP is trying to convey here.
@tenshimoon
10 ай бұрын
@@inspectre27 pretty privilege is also a reason why a pretty Autistic person has an easier time masking and getting through social interactions than an Autistic who doesn't have pretty privilege. That's much more likely than someone "using" pretty privilege to "justify" bad behaviours. Most Allistics who have pretty privilege wouldn't even wanna associate themselves with Autistics so it's really unlikely that the person is trying to justify anything.
@inspectre27
10 ай бұрын
@@tenshimoon You've misread my post.
@Authentistic-ism
Жыл бұрын
i was peer-diagnosed, as in "we think you might be autistic" said to me by various people. it's funny how some of the same people criticized my self diagnosis later when i began to look into it... and then when i got my (formal) diagnosis, those people flipped again and said "we always knew!"
@ealpacaf.7463
Жыл бұрын
That's weird of them
@kdepp90
10 ай бұрын
Probably were calling you autistic in the beginning as a way of poking fun at you, at your expense, but when you actually started looking into it more seriously, they weren't gonna take you seriously, cause they weren't being serious about it at the time. And so when they said "we always knew", that was just them trying to cover their own asses.
@hypnopompicfool985
9 ай бұрын
It's the pipeline Society: "You're weird!" Person: "Ok", *does research as to why they may be different* Person: "Ok so I looked into it and alot reasons that I'm weird is because I'm autistic and those are traits-." Society: "But you can't be autistic because you're too normal!" Person: "Before you said I was weird and it turns out that-" Society: "No, you're not autistic, you're just weird." Person: *Gets a legal diagnosis* Society: "THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!" Person: ???? I went through this too except instead of being "weird" I was "gross scummy lazy idiot with selective memory, no manners, and can't clean bedroom". There's way too many misconceptions of ASD and most neurodivergent disorders and alot of stigma around the word "autism" itself, if people actually knew more about autism they would stop acting like self diagnosis equates to taking candy from babies with cancer.
@yoshisarethebomb
9 ай бұрын
@@hypnopompicfool985Also how online “faking police” even says “You can’t be autistic because you’re too weird” Because people think autism is a little boy who loves trains, a supergenius or insane. And they only accept autistic people as long as they’re “normal”
@emilyrose3490
9 ай бұрын
I was diagnosed when I was 11 but somehow didn’t know (it’s a long, stupid story) and I found out bc when I was 16 my friend told me I was autistic (they have adhd and their brother is autistic) and I remembered some kind of letter from the psychiatrist and low and behold, it said I was diagnosed with autism
@KorytEdits
Жыл бұрын
I was told I was probably autistic by an online friend and fell deep into research. Thats the ONLY reason I pursued diagnosis. There’s definitely a lot more autistic people in this world than most realize, they’re just undiagnosed.
@madscientistme
Жыл бұрын
me too 🤣 multiple unrelated people told me that and I end up looking at what autistic meant and suddenly the world made sense 😳
@HiBuddyyyyyy
Жыл бұрын
I feel like a lot of people underestimate how many people are in the world too. Like they hear a small percentage like 1% (an example number I don’t know how many diagnosed autistic people there are) and think ‘oh that’s not many people’ and it’s like 81000000 people. But yeah, there’s definitely even more than whatever the percentage is because of people who are undiagnosed.
@Warspite03
Жыл бұрын
It was a former high school student of mine (from 20 years ago) that sparked my interest when we caught up and were discussing his recent diagnosis. A few weeks later when I’d self diagnosed I asked him if he thought I was autistic and his reply was affirmative. Turns out I was unknowingly hosting a small coven (dunno if that’s the right word but it sounds cool so I’m claiming it) of undiagnosed neurodivergent students when I was supervising the computer rooms at lunchtime 🤷♂️ Good to know that they were the students who I got along best with.
@leviisafrog
11 ай бұрын
haha i was about to write this exact comment
@JosephFuckinStalin
11 ай бұрын
Personally, hot take, I kinda doubt people are "neurotypical". I have no evidence for this, it's just a hunch so you can skip if you like "Negative" side effects of autism in the west are amplified by our surroundings. We're highly evolved but we never evolved to adapt to rapid modernization This is too much sensory overload for anyone to handle. My phone makes my autism "worse"
@WaysideArtist
Жыл бұрын
The people who aren't the a-holes are her friends who listen, take the info in stride, and are cool with her. Those are cool friends.
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
Yep, honestly, over time the reality either way will come to her. I just don't buy the idea that being autistic is in any way cool, it is who we are and I hope that everybody that wants a proper formal diagnosis is blessed with one at some point. I'm still self-diagnosed, but with all the wrong diagnoses I've got on my record, I have little choice other than to press on as having a bunch of other stigmatized psychiatric conditions causes harm to a larger extent than not having a diagnosis at all does.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
@@SmallSpoonBrigade I was diagnosed with 14 mental illnesses in 30 years. I was scared that the autism would be hidden by all of the psychiatric diagnoses. But I found an autism assessor who specializes in adult women. I got diagnosed with autism this year at age 47. Edit: About 9 or 10 of the 14 psychiatric diagnoses were misdiagnoses.
@dgnas
Жыл бұрын
every time i don’t pick up on social cues i’m just gonna call it “venice beach rude”
@o.m9514
7 ай бұрын
😹 me too!
@Lemonnn2505
10 күн бұрын
LMAO I gotta do this too😂
@katfoster845
Жыл бұрын
I'm on a waiting list for an official diagnosis at the moment. But every autistic I've met has said I'm autistic. Several independent, unrelated professionals who work with autistics have said I'm autistic. My mum has read up on autism and said yes, that sounds like you. I want the official diagnosis as a confirmation, but I know I'm autistic already. Identifying as autistic has meant that I'm able to explain my needs to people. It's allowed me to accommodate myself. I no longer have to compare myself to a neurotypical standard I can never meet and I know why I can't meet that. That's incredibly powerful for my self esteem. Is anyone hurt by my identifying as autistic? Am I taking anything away from others? Am I causing any harm? No. I'm not. I'm just existing as myself.
@imautisticnowwhat
Жыл бұрын
I'm so glad you were able to discover this information about yourself - it's so life changing! 💛💛
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
Just make sure to collect as much information as you can about how the diagnosis applies to your real life. It's unfortunate that the community has so little sway in terms of who is and isn't autistic, as the community tends to include people that the diagnostic criteria leave out.(And the reasons for leaving people out can be both petty and dumb, as there's little room for considering the folks at the margins and many people with developmental disorders may not have any diagnosis at all available) But, it's not like the community is including a bunch of people that have no need for support or help. If you're going to the community as self-diagnosed, there is a reason why you're doing that. And in my case, the more time I've spent with other autistic people, the more clear it is that the results I got back the last two attempts were wrong, I just don't have the records necessary to convince the evaluators that I'm autistic. But, I wonder if that would still be the case with better memory of my childhood and fewer wrong psychiatric diagnoses. Hopefully, 3rd time will be the charm as this time I'm going to try to get a neurologist to do the assessment and just be open about the fact that I have a bunch of wrong diagnoses from an era before some of my likely neurological conditions even had a name and shouldn't be given much weight. Hopefully, you'll have an easier time of it than I have. But, even without the formal diagnosis, you are correct that there is a lot you can do for yourself and the community, at least the corners I hang out on, are very supportive of anybody looking to eke out a better life for themselves in that fashion.
@PaulaRoederer
Жыл бұрын
I agree! Finally being able to understand why you're different is liberating and life changing! Good luck with your journey, and for what it's worth, I believe you.
@OdinsSage
Жыл бұрын
I'm on the same page. I've looked into pursuing an official diagnosis but A) it's so stupidly expensive, and B) I don't want an official diagnosis to possibly cause me more problems down the line with life choices or other medical professionals. I've already got a way too long of a list of examples of medical professionals misdiagnosing me, gaslighting me, and generally just belittling me and my problems that I don't want to give doctors another reason to treat me worse. But what I have found, even without the stupid diagnosis, is following autistic and adhd creators and advice have been life changing, even in just the last few months I've been looking into them. All these decades of trying the advice for neurotypical people, and always "failing" and wondering what the hell was wrong with me that I was do pathetic and stupid; I now understand that wasn't the case. It's been such a huge change for me and I'm so glad to have found the community. Not to mention, learning that I'm not so alone with how I process and experience the world. It's been very validating. And I don't need an "official" diagnosis to know how much good pursuing autism and adhd directed help is doing me. So people who hate on "self-diagnosis" can shove their opinions where the sun don't shine. I know my life is improving from my "unofficial" diagnosis and that's all that matters.
@maggierestivo5256
Жыл бұрын
@@OdinsSage Fellow Self-Diagnosed here, to say that, yes, medical gaslighting is another reason I am very leery of getting an official diagnosis. I've been medically gaslighted since I was a teenager trying to convince doctors I did not have the flu, I had pneumonia, and nearly died because of it... and therapy has gaslighted me as well. (Not to mention the horror of going to group therapy when you are PDA. "Why don't you share your feelings with the group?" Me: [thinks] "Nope. Not doing that!" Of course, I didn't know I was PDA at the time, but it makes so much sense now.) Yes, people who look down on the self-diagnosed can... what you said. My life is improving as well. So much self-discovery! Now, trying to learn how to stop a meltdown before it starts. :)
@dorsk188
Жыл бұрын
That boss story was just sublime. I'm imagining him talking to the son, and giving him the peas for the ducks, and feeling some tingle of a connection back to his passed brother. I have always masked heavily because honestly NT people are just kind of scary to me (especially older and especially people in authority). But the thought that being honest with someone like that could forge a genuine emotional connection is something I've never really considered. I cried when I heard the story, and I'm still crying writing this comment... Jeez... Thanks for this one, Meg.
@nerdtubewtf
Жыл бұрын
Same. Onion ninjas strike again. TY for showing me hope in humanity. So happy to see signs of true caring about each other. Still crying happy relief tears. Oh, also DETEST peas with a purple hazypassion.
@wessltov
2 ай бұрын
Someone who treats people so respectfully should be given his own co- Oh wait, he already has a company
@WhichDoctor1
Ай бұрын
That story made me literally cry too
@christianmiller1723
Жыл бұрын
I wasn't expecting to be moved to tears by the pea story, its truly and profoundly beautiful.
@cassettetape7643
Жыл бұрын
Me either. That one hit me right in the heart 💘😭🥲
@alexisartfeild2807
Жыл бұрын
Agreed. It was so beautiful. As I write this I can feel the tears linger in corners of my eyes.
@zellafae
Жыл бұрын
Same 😭
@LeslieLanagan
10 ай бұрын
reddit has so many moments of dumpster fire and then you get things like this. It's overwhelming. I'm sobbing as well.
@seroquelchamber
8 ай бұрын
you all seem like people with good hearts so now im crying about that too
@raven4090
Жыл бұрын
I self diagnosed after a LOT OF RESEARCH, but I got the official diagnosis because no one believed me. This person that's so mean to the self diagnosed friend isn't a real friend. Her friend should dump her.
@felixhenson9926
Жыл бұрын
'autistic people we can be quite good at identifying other autistic people' thus far literally every single one of my friends who i've mentioned oh do you have x, y or z and they didn't have a diagnosis later did go on to discover I was correct and be formally diagnosed. I am at a 100% for correctly identifying friends undiagnosed disabilities thus far haha.
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
Keep in mind that when we do have friends, it's usually with other autistic people, or at least with other people that have autistic traits. I can't remember where I heard it, but if you start having friends telling you that they suddenly got diagnosed as autistic, it's probably a good idea to get evaluated because there's a decent chance that you are as well. Also, most mental health professionals haven't had much exposure to the various ways in which autism can present. It's been in the last 25 years that anybody even bothered to research masking with respect to autism. And as far as I can tell, there's still near complete ignorance about what autism looks like in somebody with a high IQ.
@saint82scarlet
Жыл бұрын
I told my friend I thought he was some how on the spectrum. Not sure how, but definitely something about him that isnt "normal" he absolutely said he wasn't, until I saw some things about ADHD, and I sent it to him, saying it reminded me of him, he has since embraced the idea of having ADHD, as he has realised how much it's like him. He can't sit still or stay on one subject to save his life 😂 I have to constantly revert him back to the subject he wanted to ask me about. He thinks my suspected ADHD is why he finds me so interesting and not bored of me yet. He is still finding out more about me. I joke with him, and say he only wants me around because he hasn't 100 percentaged me yet 🤣
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
@@saint82scarlet ADHD may well turn out to be the internal, less stimmy autism. It often times has similar traits involved. As it stands, there's a significant hole that ASD, Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder and Schizoid Personality Disorder don't cover. And nothing else does either.
@noeldoesstuff
Жыл бұрын
We travel in packs
@turquoisemama33
Жыл бұрын
Birds of a feather, flock together.
@joeminella5315
Жыл бұрын
My grandson blew off my self-diagnosis without asking why I thought so and would not engage me on it. I was crushed and angry. Official diagnosis in my area and with my insurance seems impossible so far.
@imautisticnowwhat
Жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry about that 😔
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
I'm sorry for that. I'm going through the process of getting my diagnosis fixed. I'm pretty clearly autistic and I probably would just go the self-diagnosis route, but I've got so many stigmatized misdiagnoses that I don't really have much choice other than to continue to push for it. Personally, if I were you, assuming you can't relocate, I'd start writing letters to anybody that is involved in that. The insurance commissioner is a good place to start, as is all the politicians in your state that right the rules about such things. It may not happen quickly enough, but with enough pressure, things like that can change. Around here, autism screening is required to be covered by all insurance, along with mental health treatment to a similar degree as physical health treatment.
@spaghetto9836
Жыл бұрын
It's okay Joe, I believe in you 🥺💗.
@marthamurphy3913
Жыл бұрын
@@SmallSpoonBrigade , Where is "around here"?
@Xiassen
7 ай бұрын
If you have it, you do not need any specific person, let alone your social inferior, to validate a fact. On his side, he is not required to engage in anything, let alone something he doesn't want to involve himself in, regardless of how interested you are in it or whether it's true or false.
@That_Awkward_Mum
Жыл бұрын
"She's just a hot girl who never learned any manners" (I realise I'm not quoting verbatim there) - could this person have had their advances rejected by this girl, and they're maybe just bitter about it?!
@That_Awkward_Mum
Жыл бұрын
Edit, after watching whole video: The second story about the peas was utterly lovely and heartwarming! 😢🥰
@unluckyomens370
7 ай бұрын
I didnt get that vibe but im also not great at vibes and if I run the story with the assumption it does still make sense so its possible
@The_gaming_archaeologist
3 ай бұрын
Wouldn't be surprised.
@Santa-ny1yp
Жыл бұрын
So I had all the child autistic traits as a child, i.e. I couldn't even look people in the eye until I was 8, etc. . Even after that I would look at people EYE-jacently(the point between the eyes, specifically). After feeling that I am autistic for the past 15 years I decided to try and get diagnosed. After talking with a therapist for an hour she said she can't even recommend me to a psychiatrist because they won't accept me because I don't have enough dysfunction(my wording not hers). The didn't diagnose this sort of thing until I was already an adult. I don't go around saying "HI, I'm autistic!", but still feel that I am.
@Santa-ny1yp
Жыл бұрын
P.s. Peas and the flower of broccoli drive me batshit!
@badcaseofstripes
Жыл бұрын
I recommend getting a new therapist if you can because there are plenty of people that will take you seriously. You shouldn't have to put up with someone trying to bar/discourage you from getting assessed... Especially after you having suspected it in yourself for so long. You know more about you than anyone else. Autism isn't just about dysfunction. So pretty ignorant on your therapists part. Autism has a plethora of positive benefits as well as weaknesses and problems with functioning, it's always a mix for every person. Good luck
@Sanakudou
Жыл бұрын
While it’s possible to have similar symptoms to autism that mightn’t actually be autistic in origin (such as some traits of introversion, social anxiety, symptoms of childhood trauma/neglect, borderline personality disorder, bipolar, OCD, adhd, etc) I would definitely get a second opinion to be certain. Make sure you choose a psychologist that openly states autism as one of their areas of expertise, so their opinion will be more informed and trustworthy. If they still don’t think you have autism, you should push them to at least give you an adequate explanation for the all your symptoms/traits/dysfunctions that made you suspect autism to begin, especially if there’s a possibility they’re actually symptoms of another condition entirely or might be of childhood trauma/neglect origins instead.
@hannasophia18
Жыл бұрын
I wanted to add to these comments that while it may be true you don't have enough dysfunction, it can also be a case of how much you are used to certain things just being more difficult and not recognizing they are not supposed to be that way. I always think of this story someone told who has POTS. Their doctor asked if they had trouble with fainting when they stood up and their answer was 'no' but in reality, the answer was 'no, because I do this and this and this to make sure that doesn't happen'. There is a huge difference between the two and us neurodivergent/disabled folk tend to overlook all the extra steps we take to function 'normally'
@manboy4720
8 ай бұрын
@@Santa-ny1yp i hate things that have a really gritty or rough texture. if i slide my hand over something like concrete, it makes my skin crawl.
@someonesomewhere9115
Жыл бұрын
About a month ago I had a Dr tell me I can’t be autistic because I was making eye contact with him and generally behaving completely differently than all his other autistic patients. I was diagnosed when I was 3 or 4 years old and have spent almost 20 years perfecting masking. The same doc also said I can’t have ADHD because I wasn’t acting restlessly during our appointment (I don’t have the diagnosis but I have fit all the DSM-5 criteria for inattentive ADHD since I was little). Also I recently picked all the tomato chunks out of a pasta dish before eating it.
@Finn-rj7hz
10 ай бұрын
that’s wild, does that doc even know inattentive adhd exists??
@TheOtherBoobJustDropped
8 ай бұрын
Ugh I remember being a kid and my friends’ parents would make jabs at me for being “hyper” but the second I sat down to do my homework quietly (I loved school and hyper focused on it) they would suddenly change their tune and would no longer believe I had ADHD
@CainXVII
7 ай бұрын
The doctor that diagnosed me with adhd told me he didn't think I met the criteria for autism. Mind you, he wasn't testing me for autism and I got that diagnosis as a kid.
@SadisticSenpai61
7 ай бұрын
@@CainXVII I think it was only recently that docs realized a person can have both ADHD and autism. So if your ADHD was more obvious to him, he likely assumed that meant you couldn't be autistic. Well, depending on how old you are ofc. I think they had that realization in the 2010s? Like, my brother was a textbook ADHD case as a kid, so it's highly unlikely anyone would have also realized he is also autistic (despite it being fairly obvious to me once I started learning about autistic traits decades later). Not that my brother was ever tested or diagnosed as a kid - Mom was one of those anti-ADHD ppl that got offended when teachers pointed out the obvious. He was only recently diagnosed as having ADHD and autism a couple years ago - in his 30s. Edit: just realized you said it was a recent doc that said that. Sigh. Some ppl still haven't gotten the memo. 🤦🏻
@divarnacia
Ай бұрын
tomato chunks sucks.
@leslieyancey5084
Жыл бұрын
It’s really hard to get an autism diagnosis in the US, which is why people self diagnose.
@The_gaming_archaeologist
3 ай бұрын
To add from someone else's post, it's not like everyone has spare 2k cash.
@LifeontheBush
Жыл бұрын
I wish people would be more open to other people self diagnosing, for me I would love to get a formal autism diagnosis but it would cost $2000 dollars so definitely not possible for me.
@hesherette
Жыл бұрын
right? when i tried to get an autism diagnosis, every single place said they only accepted children + the ONE place I could finds semi locally that also worked w adults had OVER A YEAR long waitlist just to be seen. oh + absolutely 0 places I called accepted my insurance. sorry, but I'm not paying $xxx-$xxxx out of pocket just to have someone with fancy degrees agree with what I know about myself lol.
@sweetlolitaChii
Жыл бұрын
Not to mention there isn't even a widely accepted test anywhere for adults. Few medical professionals are even remotely qualified to detect autism in adult white average income men, let alone other populations where the tests apply even less.
@leighhauserman9549
Жыл бұрын
Both good points. Especially in the US. As long as the information is credited and they are genuinely concerned about it a self diagnosis is valid.
@prettygneissproductions
Жыл бұрын
I worked extensively with my therapist about this, and we both concluded that it was too dangerous and expensive to pursue a formal diagnosis, even tho it’s obvious now I’m autistic. I’ve basically known since I was a kid and shoved it down because stigma and “autism is for boys”. And yet I still basically have to say “self diagnosed” because it’s not “official” on some chart, and so people are quick to invalidate that. It’s ridiculous. Accepting myself the last five years since that has changed my life. I can’t imagine going back to how I was with it before. But strangers and we’ll meaning colleagues know more than me I guess, cause their nephew is non-verbal 🙄 I’m 36 and can’t work Diana. I’m not doing it as a trend lol
@linden5165
Жыл бұрын
In the autistic community groups I'm in we all accept self-diagnosis. It's valid. I work for a support organisation and we include self-diagnosed and exploring people in our services. Lots of researchers include self-diagnosed people too. Time for the nay-sayers to get over it because it's just what our community does sometimes, and for good reasons! 😊
@Tankekraft
Жыл бұрын
Disregarding self-identifying(self-diagnosing) is based in medicalisation of neurodivergencies, the assumption that you're neurotypical until you can prove othervise (not unlike everyone is straight until they come out as something else). Everyone can have traits that are neurodivergent and neurotypical. And I think that's a big problem with criticising both self-id and "armchair diagnosing", when neurodivergnt people say "I think I am autistic" or "I'm reading this character as autistic"- it's not acctually diagnosing anyone. It's recognising a pattern of neurodivergent traits and the absence of neurotypical traits. Diagnosis is a medical and legal condition that you often need as a neurodivergent person when you live in a society made for neurotypicals, but the diagnosis isn't what makes you ND.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
Yes, I like your explanation. It makes so much sense.
@Finn-rj7hz
10 ай бұрын
everyone has traits that is typical and atypical. the diagnosis comes in when those traits are so impactful in your life to the point of impairing major life functions in more than one area (apart of pretty much every mental health diagnosis). the issue with self diagnosis is that these people tend to be more sub clinical in the sense that these traits exist, but are not at the level where they require a diagnosis or treatment. at that point, a diagnosis (even a self diagnosis) is just pathologizing human variance instead of pointing out and helping those that are really struggling
@Tankekraft
10 ай бұрын
@@Finn-rj7hz well the thing with masking is that you might not know and/or it might not be visible from the outside just how much you are impacted. I'm not sure what point you are making. My understaning is that you are saying: 1. That we should only sort people between those are "really struggling" from those who arn't and, 2. that naming and analysing on human variations is in itself pathalogizing. If I misinterpreted, please corect me. I want to reply my thoughts on your arguments, but I don't want to misconstrude your points. 1. I wouldn't be able to sort out and know whether my struggle is more severe than others and how my struggles are influenced by my neurodivergent traits without doing my own self evaluation and comparing it to the information accessible to me. Parts of that was with a physcologist, however there is also a LOT of research around Autsim and neurodivergents that paints a much bigger picture compared to the diagnostic tools that health professionals work with. Most of how I know my struggles and how to accomodate myself comes from being engaged in the community and learning about others. This gives me new ways to describe and analyse things that I previously didn't know how to. In order to get help from the healthcare system and my countries social services, I need to be able to advocate for myself. 2. I agree that it would be within the definition of pathalogizing, but pathalogization is our nature, and it's already being done. "Pointing out and helping those that are really struggling" is also pathalogizing. Self ID and expanding on the definitions of neurodivergencies is pathalogizing done by ourself, from within and not the pathalogization done by the norm, from the outside. We also need to name the norm, the "ruling normal", because othervise we are just grouping the people we deem needs to be grouped, wich in a lot of cases, at least when we are talking about this topic, is because we are pointing out how those people are less than the ungrouped people. The word neurodivergency is ment to encompass all the ways human brains work, as variations or on a spectrum rather than a binary separation. It includes both neurotypicals and neurodivergents. But it is very important to put words on things. When we put words on our experinces we change the way we see the world. And neurodivergents own the right to put words on themself.
@yoshisarethebomb
9 ай бұрын
Also self diagnosing is how people discover they have life threatening diseases
@elainelouve
9 ай бұрын
Well said! I think it's exactly this, noticing a pattern of traits. It still leaves up to the person in question whether they want to research things further or not. Though to me it helps immensely to understand a person I'm interacting with may be autistic or something else. I've "diagnosed" a difficult neighbor with a personality disorder (obsessive compulsive personality), and it helped me to deal with that person. Some of my traits (getting assessed for ADHD) clash with some autistic traits, so to me it helps to understand where someone might be coming from, and what to expect. Need to add these would be undiagnosed people from older generations.
@LaCafedora
Жыл бұрын
I just need to say: if the peas do not burst like grapes, they are overcooked. Most of the peas I have been served have been overcooked, and I will only eat them if I prepare them myself. Too many vegetables are cooked to mush, and canned veggies are usually gross and mushy and pale and the worst example of the food. But also, what is actually rude is forcing someone to eat something that you know they hate because you like it. Turn that around and see how you like it. It's not so difficult to grasp.
@NeuroSeasoned
Жыл бұрын
Love this. I went on a rant below about how I only like petite peas that "pop" lol
@cogit8able
11 ай бұрын
I didn’t know that there were frozen peas until I moved away from home. I always loved fresh out of the garden peas which I thought were a proper color and texture. Instead of a sad olive drab. You are correct most peas are over cooked.
@blub-tf6rt
8 ай бұрын
A steamer changed my relationship to food
@FrozEnbyWolf150
4 ай бұрын
Came here to say this. I have a lot of taste hypersensitivity, yet I did not grow up as a picky eater, because my mother knows how to cook and made sure my brother and I do as well. Most of the foods kids hate, neurodivergent or otherwise, are due to the foods being prepared incorrectly. Cooking is one of my special interests, as is gardening, and I'm obsessed with cooking dishes over and over until they come out just right. Peas are supposed to be crisp and sweet. You do not boil them into a tasteless mush, and you especially do not serve them out of a can. As my mother says, canned vegetables are the worst.
@littlelady9801
Жыл бұрын
Has anybody noticed how it's always the neurotypicals who have a problem with self-diagnosis? Why is that?
@franki1990
Жыл бұрын
Because they get a grasp of how arbitrary and stupid are social norms when you are "not allowed" to question them. It must be maddening to realize that through someone who is an "underachiever" according to the neurotypical gaze...
@MomokoTuHarumaki
Жыл бұрын
I would also say that if it shows that the people they look down on are autistic, what does that make them?
@Robert_McGarry_Poems
Жыл бұрын
I try my best to realize that they, as individuals, have a mental expectation of information interaction through the eyes, that just doesn't happen with autism. This is not something they likely even know is happening for the most part. They all of a sudden find themselves looking for information that doesn't exist, and this makes them self conscious, which most people don't like. It frightens them to realize that you are the one that made them feel like that. You are weird. It honestly isn't their fault either. In reality nobody is the A hole.
@Robert_McGarry_Poems
Жыл бұрын
Dialectics and compromise.
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
I think it's probably because most autistic people, formally diagnosed or not, know that anybody that is faking is probably not so much faking as autism-curious and the truth will emerge on it's own over time. It's not like a few self-identifying autistic people that aren't autistic is going to cause more harm than the negative media portrayals do anyways. Not to mention how messed up the diagnostic criteria are at the moment. There's people out there that have the same traits and the same level of impact on their lives and depending upon when they were evaluated, they may or may not get any diagnosis at all. The whole situation of changing the rules and then grandfathering people in has done far more harm than the relatively few people that are self-diagnosed, but not actually autistic are.
@VictoriaMorganawesometori
Жыл бұрын
My psychiatrist straight up told me I don't need an official diagnosis. She can't formally diagnose me and it's a pain in the butt with no benefit to get formally diagnosed. Except maybe internet points with complete strangers. So I'm an undiagnosed autistic person.
@HiBuddyyyyyy
Жыл бұрын
That’s cool! Not that you can’t get diagnosed, that you’re not denying yourself of being autistic because of those strangers.
@lizza4250
10 ай бұрын
This is why I'm living as an undiagnosed autistic person as well. I'm in my mid thirties and just figured this out, but I have a lot of other health things to deal with that I don't need the hassle for zero benefit to me. It won't change anything about how I live my life.
@sylvianimates
9 ай бұрын
my brother is autistic but i'm not sure if he has an official diagnosis because, as you said, its hard to get
@12symmo
7 ай бұрын
I went through the process, paid the money and haven’t really thought about it since. It was a big deal for a while and probably helped me settle things within myself, but beyond that it doesn’t matter what other people think. If people doubt your self diagnosis they should keep it to themselves.
@rat-gang-
7 ай бұрын
i felt this. i've had a psychiatrist, two psychologists, multiple gps and a social worker all say they believe i'm audhd, but the process to get diagnosed for either is lengthy and expensive, so they've essentially just told me 'yeah, you're audhd, but the choice to get an official diagnosis is up to you and your bank account.' it makes it increasingly frustrating to try to explain to people that i haven't technically been diagnosed, but medical professionals have told me i am countless times.
@tdsollog
Жыл бұрын
The story about picking things out of your food is so relatable. People would be so hurt that I did that. Then they’d force me to eat it and I’d end up gagging and puking and I was accused of “being dramatic “. 😔
@sarahr8311
6 ай бұрын
It can be so hard! I feel like it's like if I sprinkled sand on someone's food. Could they still eat it? Technically yes. But that texture is going to spoil everything and make eating a stressful, unpleasant experience.
@kaisoep
Жыл бұрын
The peas and ducks story is so incredibly sweet, it made me tear up. The way it's written is so simple and straightforward and the boss is so incredibly nice.
@AiLoveAidoru
Жыл бұрын
Honestly the self-diagnosis debate is interesting me lately because for a couple years I've suspected that I've been having C-PTSD, and trying to get any sort of mental health diagnosis in Newfoundland is like trying to toilet-train a cat; not impossible, but very difficult and possibly frustrating. Hell my parents had to fight to get me an autism diagnosis (diagnosed finally at age 11), then fight even longer to get me support that eventually just turned out to be a bunch of puzzle piece pushers run by a billionaire Karen (literally what caused the suspected C-PTSD) but I digress. Alas, right now, self-diagnosis has been VERY tempting just because of how difficult it is to work with qualified professionals in this province.
@Magus_Union
Жыл бұрын
If you are in the USA, an official diagnosis can be expensive (between $1600 - $2200), and there's no guarantee that insurance companies will cover said assessment. So there is a strong reason why self-diagnosis is still valid due to the economic barriers that exist.
@AveryAnarchy
Жыл бұрын
I am in a different province, but this feels spot on to where I live, too. People in other countries really don't realize how bad Canada's healthcare is. they think we get everything handed to us for free, when the reality is, outside of emergency room/walk in clinic visits, very very little is not going to cost you something...if it's not covered by MSI, a simple autism assessment is about $3000 here. I found out there is ONE person who does autism assessments that is covered, through word of mouth. my own therapist had no idea, staff is not even told, it is that hush hush, because the more people know, the more that specific person gets flooded and backlogged with referrals. Not to mention even assessments that ARE covered take a horribly long time to get in, requires a lot of difficult paperwork, and just generally a ton of hoops to jump through. Then once you're in the office finally the other person can very well be awful and not take you seriously. in another province I was officially diagnosed with OCD. but then moving back to my home province the files from that clinic were erased. the psychiatrist did not believe me when I said I have OCD and gave me a diagnosis of "cluster c personality" behind my back. I didn't find out that was on my file until YEARS later. People that are healthy mentally and physically have no idea what a hellscape it is trying to navigate the healthcare system. But they get angry at a person for simply just...saying they're autistic? People are wild
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
@@Magus_Union That's a large part of it, here in WA, the insurance commissioner mandates that all health plans cover autism diagnoses. But, even here, there can be issues with accessing providers that have the qualification and experience to make the correct diagnosis.
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
@@AveryAnarchy My Dad used to work for a hospital not that far from the Canadian border and he'd regularly encounter Canadians that crossed the border for medical care. Usually it was folks with money and a condition that wasn't considered urgent enough for treatment at that time. I assume that there were also situations where it was for something that wasn't covered at all. For all the numerous issues with the US health care system, you can pretty much always get treatment for a diagnosed condition if you're willing to pay for it.
@AveryAnarchy
Жыл бұрын
@@SmallSpoonBrigade makes sense. I used to date someone with chronic tonsillitis. Their tonsils NEEDED to be removed. they'd swell and cause pain, fevers, and phlegm buildup. But they couldn't get that surgery, because removing tonsils is only free if it's life threatening. Otherwise you have to pay the full price out of pocket. IF you have pharmacare they will often partially cover things, but only partially, and not everyone has any insurance. Americans are far from the only ones who need insurance, we have the same issue, only they expect us to pay AND sit on a multiple year long waiting list, because the understaffing issue is at a worrying high. there are no specialists, not enough nurses, not enough GPs. people do often need to travel to see a specialist because none exist in their province for their specific issue. it's dreadful
@dalekblep8136
Жыл бұрын
That edit about the peas dinner gave me goosebumps and I was on the verge of tears because of how lovely it all was, the communication, the wonderfulness of everyone involved and the happy ducks ;^; (Also, sorry, but I am a peas enjoyer womp womp)
@cacky_moon
10 ай бұрын
whenever my mom makes pasta salad i always have to pick out the cheese, for fried rice it's onions, at Thanksgiving it's: 'stay in your room, cry, wear three masks and try not to breathe, eat chicken nuggets when nobody is watching, *don't be seen*'
@Drachenschnauze
10 ай бұрын
Also i feel like the mum was the AH, she made something she knew he didn't like, didn't allow him to eat something else and then got mad bc he didn't suffer through avoidable sensory issues...
@divarnacia
Ай бұрын
@@cacky_moon pasta salad,, is it bad that i will not touch it like potato salad and bland tofu? It's cold so...
@kalieris
Жыл бұрын
If you know your kid has issues with a certain food, don’t make that food for an important dinner (that you are planning and cooking) that you insist your kid be present for. It very much feels like a gotcha or setup by the mother, especially because the boss seemed mainly focused on another person looking like they were suffering and not wanting that to happen. I hope that person gets out of that house soon. ETA: I wrote before listening to the epilogue. 🤦🏻♀️ Glad they had the convo and the mom didn’t do it as a gotcha (I grew up in a home where that was a thing). Glad also that the boss immediately clicked what was going on but made the effort to reassure the mother that he valued her.
@FingerLickinEvilToTheBone
9 ай бұрын
Honestly idc if people self diagnose. If they are wrong and not autistic, it doesn’t hurt anyone. Calling someone else out for self diagnosing can be harmful tho, in my opinion gatekeeping “real autism” is a great way to hurt a lot of people.
@alexandranodari6833
Жыл бұрын
Before of my autism diagnosis while I was waiting for the appointment to come. I would never say that I was autistic. I felt like I had no right to say it without the formal diagnosis and feared exactly the behaviour that happened in the first Reddit post
@ellelk2443
Жыл бұрын
Exactly how I feel right now while I'm waiting for my assessment 😂
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
I told a couple of people close to me that I thought that I had it.
@HauntedCadaver
Жыл бұрын
I'm self diagnosed because I can see I have so many traits and symptoms of autism. The hard part for me is articulating this enough so that a therapist can see what I'm seeing. A 1 hour diagnostic session with random questions isn't going to be accurate. And most medical professionals hate it when you come in _knowing_ what is wrong with you, even when you have extensive research and documentation you have done on your own self and things you have become aware of. I have gotten dismissed so many times, told I'm wrong in some way. Like my guy, I live with myself 24/7, I am experiencing these things on a constant, and they have the audacity to tell me no. Make it make sense. 😂 I'm just tied of being brushed off just so I can get told an SSRI is what I need when I DON'T HAVE DEPRESSION. SSRI have never worked on me, because I'm not fucking depressed. I feel like I kept getting shoved into the depression and general anxiety corner because most of these mental health professionals can't admit they don't even know what basic autism looks like. So fucking frustrating when they can't let you take initiative with your own research because of their own egos and needing to be the one to say what's wrong with you.
@gigahorse1475
Жыл бұрын
Ugh, that’s annoying they are pushing pills on you without getting to the root of the issue. I am not against SSRIs but I think that a lot of psychiatrists overlook ADHD and autism though that can be the core of symptoms, even of depression and anxiety.
@ealpacaf.7463
Жыл бұрын
The articulation and expressing those specific things is one of the difficult parts😓 especially if you're an autistic who struggles with alexithymia.
@HauntedCadaver
Жыл бұрын
@@ealpacaf.7463 which is exactly why I have. I got misdiagnosed with bipolar t2 and I felt like I was pushed into that diagnosis (I was like 2 pts from the threshold) and I went with it because professionals should know their shit. 🤷♀️ Nope, my mania was just anxiety, I never had depression as I have the motivation but struggle with autistic inertia with my energy. I also hate thst some of the therapists/doctors I have seen don't even know these terms and I feel like they look at me like "oh God another tiktok watcher" and stop taking me seriously.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
When you go to the doctor never say you have something. Say that you THINK you MiGHT have this problem because of these symptoms. Then list the symptoms. They want to feel like THEY are the one deciding. It sucks but just do it that way unless you know your doctor has less ego than average.
@HauntedCadaver
Жыл бұрын
@@Catlily5 that's what I'm doing, I tell them I'm calling it as I see it and due to the nature and pattern of these traits/symptoms that's what makes me convinced I might be autistic.
@allisonandrews4719
Жыл бұрын
I can’t imagine wanting this diagnosis if it doesn’t have real explanatory power. I can really understand NOT wanting this diagnosis if it has real explanatory power.
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
That's the thing. If you want disability status, there are much better choices to go with. Just about anybody can get an anxiety diagnosis or depression diagnosis legitimately if you go to a doctor for help with anxiety or depression, and most people will have those issues at some point in their life. Chances are that a doctor will hand out those diagnoses the first visit without charging an exorbitant amount of money, either.
@LilChuunosuke
Жыл бұрын
@autisticdoingandthinking doctors definitely hand out anxiety and depression diagnoses like they're candy. My previous doctor automatically jumped to anxiety and depression whenever I tried to force her to address any of my actual health concerns. I was once given anxiety meds for having insomnia (that I explicitly spelled out was not caused by anxious thoughts). Anyone who thinks its easier to get an autism diagnosis has never had to face doctors throwing random diagnoses at you to get you out of their office so they dont have to do any work.
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
@@LilChuunosuke True dat. The psychologist that most recently evaluated me for ASD wanted to ascribe the sensory input issues to anxiety. It's definitely not anxiety, it's much, much deeper and impacts nearly my entire brain in some fashion. Personally, I've had nearly all the common misdiagnoses, but nobody seems willing to consider that if I've had all the common misdiagnoses, there's not many conditions that account for that and it's rather unlikely that anybody ever has both bipolar 1 and schizoaffective as they're mutually exclusive and neither is considered to be curable.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
Plenty of people could have been diagnosed with bipolar I and Schizoaffective. Just not at the same time.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
@@SmallSpoonBrigade Also I have been diagnosed with 14 psychiatric diagnoses in my life. Most of them are wrong. So I know it is frustrating. I got diagnosed with autism now and kept several of the mental health ones as well. But some of the diagnoses were pure bullshit.
@katarzynasoyka8538
Жыл бұрын
I self-diagnosed as autistic last year, and straight away started a process of being officially diagnosed. It takes a really long time on NHS, but at least unlike in US it's free, so I don't have to worry about financing my diagnosis. Whilst I'm still on the waiting list I'm continuing my research (reading books, watching YT, NHS & National Autistic Society resources, listening to ASD experts, etc.), and the more I do, the surer I am that in fact, I am on the spectrum. Peas are fine. Not my favourite, but I'll eat them, especially if there are a lot of other veggies mixed in as well. Lamb on the other hand is THE FOOD OF THE DEVIL! That smell. The gaminess. Chewy texture (in a bad way). The horrible meaty taste. Makes me gag so bad 🤢
@aaausername
Жыл бұрын
Wait what country do you live in? How'd you get yours free? I'm not American yet mine still cost over $1,000
@Panarchy.
Жыл бұрын
I generally like lamb (or so I thought), but the one time I’ve had lamb that wasn’t cooked by my own mother it was absolutely unbearable for the exact reasons you said. For me, I find that’s a pattern - I had the same experience when my granny cooked carrots (which we kids were known to like) but she cut them into coins instead of sticks (and maybe over cooked them a little) and we all refused to eat them 😢 As for bacon which was mentioned in the video, me and my mum both prefer bacon to be slightly over cooked so that all of the fat crisps up. I do find soft bacon to be edible but it’s not very nice 😅
@pedroff_1
Жыл бұрын
Damn, lamb is my favourite meat... For me, the tough ones are peas, sweet corn and liver. I used to gag whenever I tried eating liver. I think I even got to vomit once or twice
@katarzynasoyka8538
Жыл бұрын
@@aaausername I live in UK. We have a tax deduction from our wages/salary (National Insurance) which goes towards health care (among other things), but that's all. NHS stands for National Health Service. Unless one goes private, you don't need to pay anything.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
I agree. Peas over lamb any day. It is the taste I can't take. I am also one of the few people who hates bacon. Canned peas are so disgusting though. I like fresh peas if they are not overcooked.
@CeruleanStar
Жыл бұрын
On the topic of peer diagnosis, there's definitely been times that I've met someone and thought "They could definitely be autistic." I'm a nanny, and have typically watched neurodivergent children, even before I and/or they were diagnosed. I didn't know why before my late diagnosis, but I was just inherently very good with kids others had a hard time with. The way I cared for them and talked to them just made for a far more peaceful environment. I'm diagnosed autistic and adhd now, and most kids I've nannied are formally diagnosed with one or the other (some by my recommendation). Being around so many neurodivergent kids and adults, and being neurodivergent myself, I've just naturally started noticing the patterns. So, say, when I was playing with my then seven-year-old niece at the park (also AuDHD), and a little two-year-old boy just walked up to us and started playing with us, I could tell just by the way he played that he was likely autistic. His mom was watching us from the background. When it was time for the little boy to go home, his mom explained to me that this little boy had never went up and played with strangers before. He usually kept to himself, even with known people. I wasn't comfortable telling a complete stranger that her son would benefit from an evaluation, but I'm pretty sure that little boy was autistic. There's been studies that suggest that neurodivergent people might not actually be socially impaired the way that's traditionally believed, as neurodivergent people can typically get along with each other just as well as neurotypical people get along with each other. We communicate differently, but whether or not that's an impairment has fallen into question. Regardless, that little boy probably felt comfortable coming up to us and playing because he instinctively felt that we were people he could get along with. So when it comes to peer diagnosis, I really think us autistic folk are better at recognizing each other than people think. Diagnosis or no, we just naturally tend to find people like us, and once we put a name to what we're instinctively noticing, it's not surprising that we can look at someone and think "they're probably autistic."
@realfingertrouble
Жыл бұрын
Your last comment - this is when I started taking my own suspicions - and many years of looking into it - seriously was when friends who are definitely on the spectrum or experience of same started saying to me that I might be, that I was 'one of them' - before that I was very sceptical. Partly the problem is I think I am either PDA or what they call a 'spiky profile' and measure off the charts on the diagnostic quizzes for masking, my mother was likely on the spectrum and I think I just learned from her to mask. So unlike a ND person brought up by NTs I never totally had that 'I'm different' shock early on. That came later...but PDA fits well, or AuDHD especially in the bits where 'classic' autistic folk score highly but I don't. That's the problem....why I describe myself as neurodivergent and not autistic, or 'possibly on the spectrum'. I don't feel without some further diagnosis I can say. But it's obvious writing pages on my past experiences, and doing the quizzes and research, I am most DEFINITELY not NT.
@CeruleanStar
Жыл бұрын
@@realfingertrouble I had the same problem with the online tests. I never got a definitive answer from them. It took me seeing a specialist to get and ADHD diagnosis (which I had self-diagnosed myself with after learning about inattentive ADHD), and for that person to mention I also show signs of autism after my ADHD diagnosis. She evaluated me for both, and diagnosed me with both. I think I was lucky to happen to see a specialist who happened to specialize in both ADHD and autism. My presentation of autism is atypical. I have a very feminine and high-masking presentation, which isn't well-studied. It's also mixed with ADHD, which would have made it even harder to diagnose. We're still learning a lot about autism. The DSM-5 created a lot more room for research into different presentations, and since the DSM-5 has only been out for a decade, the research about different presentations is very new. Same with the dual ADHD/Autism diagnosis. Tangent aside, most of the online quizzes are based on outdated information. They're oddly specific, which excludes presentations that don't fall into stereotypes. The DSM-5 has far better criteria, if you want to look that up. It's not a quiz, but rather more of a checklist. It'd be what a doctor would diagnose you based on. If nothing else, I agree that the peer-diagnosis you're getting is enough to say you aren't neurotypical
@realfingertrouble
Жыл бұрын
@@CeruleanStar ahead of you there - yes I've gone through th DSM-5 definition and as suggested by this channel created a list of ways I fit in each one. 4xA4 pages later! But yes, I found the older quizzes like the one I first did years ag, the 50 question Baron Cohen one - weirdly I have become more autistic, years ago it was borderline - but masking is 140, and the Aspie quiz is a definite yes. One of the others is weirdly again, borderline, but most point to likely or very likely, bar one. But the emphasis on stims and childhood kind of stump me, cos I do have stuff from then that fits, but some that doesn't, a lot of the realisation was in my 30's and 40's. I do wonder if the child-focus of autism research is stifling the field and ignoring there might be a more later onset for some?
@CeruleanStar
Жыл бұрын
@@realfingertrouble I'd say that's a pretty solid self-diagnosis. Personally, I think the focus on childhood is a big problem, and makes it more difficult for adults to get diagnosed. Many professionals still require you to put them in contact with your parents to talk about your childhood. Problem is that if a 40 year old adult is being evaluated, the chances of anyone remembering their childhood in detail is slim. Even more so if a person's parents are no longer around, or if the person being evaluated had bad parents. To make it even worse, girls are less likely to show memorable signs of autism in childhood. It's already recognized that for many girls, struggles with being autistic don't become evident until puberty. Girls tend to be a lot better at masking as children than boys are. Puberty tends to be the time when they begin to struggle to keep up. This means that parents are a lot less likely to remember a girl's childhood autistic traits, as they were never a big deal or otherwise memorable. Children, regardless of gender, can be high-masking, and that would make their autism unnoticeable to others who aren't experts in the field, even their parents. While asking about childhood is a valid way to evaluate someone if they can remember, I personally don't think it should be required. There's too many ways it could go wrong. Not everyone has attentive parents with great memories. It just ends up discriminatimg against those who were high-masking, those who struggle to remember their childhood, and/or those who grew up in a bad family situation.
@realfingertrouble
Жыл бұрын
@@CeruleanStar yes my moither would be the best to ask, since she was likely on the spectrum, but she's dead. My Dad did tell me about one time I was taken to the doctors to test my hearing cos when focusing I'd 'zone out' and not hear them. Stuff like that should be a matter of medical record (I bet it isn't though, doctors records are patchy) but again no-one thought to ask if it had other causes when my hearing was ruled out.
@kkuudandere
Жыл бұрын
At first I was confused about the idea of peas in a mug, but now I'm wondering why we don't ALWAYS eat peas out of a bowl or mug. Eating peas off a flat plate is absolute hell. The first story... if OP describes her "friend" as nothing more than a hot girl who never learned manners and she's making autistic people "look bad", maybe they're not really THAT close of friends to begin with. Which could lead to OP not really knowing how much research her friend might have put into this...
@LilChuunosuke
Жыл бұрын
The only times I can stomach peas are when theyre mixed into a mini pot pie or a bowl of ramen. Nice thing about both of those meals is that they're always in bowls, so you can push them into a corner with the side of the utensil. Peas by themselves on a plate is just a ton of work for an unpleasant vegetable lol
@kkuudandere
Жыл бұрын
@@LilChuunosuke peas in a pot pie is the ideal method of pea consumption! 🫛
@rachelann9362
Жыл бұрын
The update on the pea story is so heart warming! How wonderful they all were learning to communicate more effectively with each other to understand peoples sides more
@agoodwasteoftime
Жыл бұрын
So in regards to self diagnosis - theres nothing that angers me more than people who think they know someone elses life and can diagnose them as not having something. I spent way too long getting into arguments with internet strangers over "fake disorder cringe" compilations cause they've always angered me. It's clear from that post that OP doesn't know that much about autism, so the fact she thinks she can dictate whether her friend is lying or not is definitely an AH thing to do. I think generally, i can't imagine anyone who would have much motive to genuinely fake autism. It's not like you get many perks from being autistic, if anything its quite the opposite, so i can't imagine anyone would want to actively fake autism. If they did, i'd imagine they'd drop the act fairly quickly once they realise it's not going to get them any extra attention, at least not positive attention anyway. I've been self diagnosed for a good 3 1/2 years now, if not longer (i don't remember exactly when it all started, of course this type of thing tends to be a gradual affair. I didn't just wake up one day and decide to be autistic lol it was a gradual process of self discovery, and somewhere within that I started labelling myself as autistic more), and I still have imposter syndrome sometimes, but i've sort of settled on the fact that if i was wrong about this, I would probably know by now, and at the end of the day, the label of autism makes me feel comfortable, I feel like it describes my experiences and explains it to others, and I get along well with others in the autistic community. I think self diagnosis is perfectly valid so long as it is a genuine process with a considerable amount of research. Obviously you can't see one tiktok and start calling yourself autistic, but if you see a few tiktoks you relate to, do some online quizzes, read through checklists and watch videos by other autistic creators, I think at that point its safe to say it's likely. I am now in the process of getting a formal diagnosis, but even now at times I wonder if it was the right decision to make. And in regards to the pea thing - firstly, I guess I'm an outlier in that I actually do kinda like peas? I can't say I LOVE them but i do like them. Secondly, I find it strange that it would be percieved as rude to pick out peas from a meal if you know you don't like them. Like it would be more rude to outright refuse to eat it just because its got peas in it, and I would also think it rude to force yourself to eat it and struggle to not look disgusted the whole meal. If you can't hide that expression, whoever cooked it would be offended that you find their cooking disgusting when in reality its just that you don't like one ingredient within it. Also even allistic people have certain foods they don't like, so I really don't understand why its considered a rude thing that you have to hide. And hey, it's not like they wasted the peas either, they gave it to the ducks, so I certainly wouldn't say they're an asshole.
@maggieavilla1336
Жыл бұрын
I am pretty sure I have both ADHD and autism. I never claim the autism since most of my issues can be explained away with ADHD, or saying I have slight OCD tendencies. Both of those conditions are usually more acceptable to neurotypical people.
@kimberlydrennon4982
Жыл бұрын
I think it would be nice if we lived in a world where we could just say what our specific quirks are such as "I don't like peas" or "I don't really understand this social convention" and people would just be normal about it without having to hear about a diagnosis. I find it really annoying when friends try to push something on me until I say something like "I probably will never like that thing as it bothers my (probable) autism." At the same time my tastes have definitely changed as I have gotten more experience. A lot of the things I didn't like when I was young, I still am not a big fan of but I have had versions of them that I do like. Peas are a great example of that because I thought I hated peas because their texture is nasty but it turns out I just don't like canned peas. Fresh or frozen peas are fine and I choose to mix them into recipes now. The No Thank You bite is a very good compromise because then you try someone else's rendition of a food and also you don't have to commit to a lot of it.
@kingrix
Жыл бұрын
Maybe the mum shouldn't have forced her autistic child (I know they're 20, but you know what I mean) to participate in an important dinner AND serve something that he didn't like AND seat him at a table with VIPs whom she was trying to impress. I'd say *someone* was the asshole in this situation, but it wasn't the neurodivergent person who doesn't like peas or groups of people they don't know. I'm glad they were able to discuss the situation and learn from it, but it really upset me to think of that person being put in that situation which lead the them essentially being chastised for being neurodivergent. Learning about the boss' experience with autism and how sympathetic he was to the OP and his needs made me tear up as well and I'm glad that one seems to have had a happy ending. Incidentally; I love peas. They're full of protein and other good stuff and I think they're delicious.
@faithoverfear1722
9 ай бұрын
I was told my son cant be autistic by the experts because he doesnt flap his hands. Nope instead he does dinosaur roars and constinently role plays movies shows etc every chance he gets at 12 years old I have struggled over the years fighting for him just to get treated like i am crazy. Idk what the future for him will look like. I love him and he has grown so much. He has reached out to me more lately for affection which has been awesome. He doesnt do well with his brothers and gets overwhelmed.with them so alone time for him is a need.
@SadisticSenpai61
11 ай бұрын
I love that "you made eye contact" line. No, I didn't actually. I was staring at their eyebrows. I learned pretty young that ppl couldn't tell the difference between me looking at their eyes and looking at their eyebrows. I'll also stare at their mouths to help me maintain better concentration on what they're saying. Well, I think that might be more of an ADHD thing tho. When I look away, I tend to lose focus and can easily start tuning out what they are saying.
@unluckyomens370
7 ай бұрын
I learned in my public speaking class to stare at the center of people foreheads because they cant tell the difference and it worked out because I already like to unfocus my eyes and pretend theyre camera lenses so i just use the forehead or nose as like “the point of focus” for my pretend camera lenses. Edit: I realize the camera bit sounds very unrelated thats what I do to keep from zoning out of conversations because idk why its fun to me
@SadisticSenpai61
7 ай бұрын
@@unluckyomens370 No, I totally get that. If I look at something too long, my eyes start unfocusing. The difference for me is that when they do, I lose focus on what it is I'm doing and have to refocus or I just won't absorb whatever's going on. Everyone works a bit differently and we've all got our "weird" analogies to explain how/why we do things certain ways. Edit: I should add that in public speaking in particular, being unfocused visually can probably be helpful to avoid nerves. Or at least it makes sense to me. 🤷🏻
@divarnacia
Ай бұрын
Yeah, or just looking at their eyeliner or irises. (I just tend to do that 😭)
@moonkey2712
Жыл бұрын
In the second story, I feel like the mom was trying to hide the fact that her child was autistic. I think the boss got it and showed understanding and kindness.
@billehhancey6429
Жыл бұрын
I love your content and I really appreciate you making these videos. I am 30 and have struggled my entire life and people just think I am lazy because I am so smart but just cannot get by in this world and legitimately thought I was just a failure until I learned what autism actually is and I just wanted to make sure I stopped by to say thank you for doing what you do, you have taught me so much about this world and I look forward to continuing to learn more and my eval in October, I really need to learn some tools to get by better because I have been struggling my entire life
@cassettetape7643
Жыл бұрын
This is my story; highly intelligent, utterly non-functioning. I've been trying to learn better ways for years, and have made progress, but this reality is just so frustrating sometimes 😮💨
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
@@cassettetape7643 I relate to both of you. I am smart but I am on disability because I cannot function in this world. I have improved but only so much.
@sianchild
Жыл бұрын
If my friend/colleague hadn't told me she thought I was autistic I might never have gone for diagnosis. I have since had conversations with a colleague who almost definitely is also autistic, but doesn't see any need to get diagnosed. The boss in the peas story sounds lovely.
@dannydannydannyboy4086
9 ай бұрын
It’s honestly so nice to hear a diagnosed autistic validating self diagnosis. I see so many people say that it’s horrible and selfish and dumb and silly things like that but all I’m trying to do is understand my brain and undo some of my trauma from going undiagnosed 😭😭
@divarnacia
11 күн бұрын
Literally same 🥲im still researching as much as my brain can and everything but the way people literally shame me for saying “i possibly might have it.” Or “i mean, i do fit the criteria of asd & adhd.” (But not outright saying. Oh frick yeahh i have it!!)
@Portablesounds
Жыл бұрын
Ive been diagnosed by a psychologist, and then every other psychiatrist Ive been to just dismisses it. I dont really get autism meds or anything, but even literal professionals will invalidate you if you dont fit that stereotype!
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
There are no meds for autism.
@burgerpowder8
8 ай бұрын
Im an autistic 17 year old girl and i got diagnosed with autism when i was 8 compared to my male friends who got diagnosed at 1-2 years old. my mom would've never known about autism if it wasn't for the internet and "self diagnosing" me at a young age. now im able to get slightly more support i need. since im a VERY high masking autistic, i understand what its like for people to never believe you. i always keep an open mind if my friend brings concerns about a potential diagnosis even if it turns out to be something else.
@booknamebasis
9 ай бұрын
The thing is, the mother knew her kid didn’t like peas, and insisted her kid attend the dinner, so she was setting up the kid for failure. There’s no reason the peas HAD to be in the dish, the mom just didn’t care
@professionalanimeenjoyer1271
Жыл бұрын
About a week ago I saw on reddit the post talking about autistic people. That person said that there is nothing likeable about autistic people, that they are apathetic and horrible, that they are nothing but the burden to their families. That person also said that he has seen multiple families with autistic kids and he said that it was very painful to see these parents and that he felt bad for them (only for the parents though). I wrote a comment saying that he was slightly biased. For the first hour after uploading my comment I have got 6 downvotes and he currently has over 300 upvotes. Then I explained to him my comment also saying that I always suspected that I was autistic ( I am 22 and my parents were looking for a diagnosis throughout my childhood but that was early 2000's so yeah, but I highly suspect that after doing massive research for more than a year now) and that I wanted call that awful stereotype out. He said that I couldn't be autistic so I explained him my observation to kinda debunk his reasoning. He then said that I can't be autistic cause I did not lack self reflection and even if I was then I would be 'high-functioning'. Then the other person (very toxic) said I was very whimpy and that I didn't have any real struggles and that I should have been ashamed of myself, and 'real' autistic people and their families should punch in the face. She called me egocentric and a crybaby. Then I politely explained that autism is a spectrum and that people are different we face different struggles and so on. Then she started mocking me first by saying that I can't self diagnose and that I am just looking for attention and then she did 180° and said that I was certianly autistic cause I was very egocentric, too much focusing on my struggles and having the 'God complex' as every autistic person has. She said that she *uck my life and my problems and overall became very mean to whole autistic community while still pretenting to be ASD ally. I told her to educate herself when it comes to ASD and that she have been more empathetic and understanding. She then said that autistic people need to fit to other people and behave normally even if it is hard for them. Then I replied that autistic people are doing that constantly and that it is called masking and that it is really painful and can lead to the meltdowns. Then she said that she was fed up with our so called meltdowns and the need for acommadations. She thinks that we have to change and not the other way around, that we think that we are special and better than neurotypical person. She told me to change my mindset and behavior and stop my need for acommadations cause 'high-functioning' autistic people don't need that. According to her I need to stop my stims, my social akwardness, my interests and so on to be 'neurotypical' and ignore my needs and suffer alone cause no one cares. It was a very painful experience and I wanted to cry but I couldn't tell that story to anyone cause even my parents now believe that I am now autistic ( they only know about stereotypes ) even though they always thought that something was 'wrong' about me and their description of my childhood are very autistic. So I am sorry for such a long comment but I really needed to talk about it cause it was killing me that maybe there is something wrong with me. They got so many uploads agreeing with their perception of ASD folks. Can someone express their thoughts? 🥺
@professionalanimeenjoyer1271
Жыл бұрын
Some mistakes here and there sorry... Correction: my parents do think that I am NOT autistic
@Void0_0Queen
Жыл бұрын
Typical reddit 🙄
@miau384
Жыл бұрын
The person responding to you was an ableist piece of sh... and you did nothing wrong. She's basically telling a blind person to 'just see and not ask for any accommodations' or a paralyzed person to 'just adapt but not get a wheelchair'.
@kathrine4826
Жыл бұрын
There are certainly autistic people who do bad things, but claiming that all autistic people are like that is simply false since we are all different individuals. You are not wrong if you're being yourself. I have also struggled, and still do, about coming to terms with my own disability and whether I am a burden or others or not. I have had thoughts like "perhaps I am only pretending?" or "according to strangers or teachers I should be able to do this", and at first I came to the conclusion that it's my fault; that something is wrong with me. However, I now realise that I should try doing what I can do (and sometimes push myself if need be), but that there are some things I can't do no matter what and that it is alright. There is nothing wrong, because I am simply being myself. So no, I don't think you should think there is something wrong with you. What other people think is ultimately less important than how you value yourself. Please cheer up and be yourself.
@professionalanimeenjoyer1271
Жыл бұрын
@@kathrine4826 Tysm for support 🥰
@KegianRux
Жыл бұрын
I'm not usually very emotional, but that story with the peas concluded in such a wholesome manner it made me tear up a little. Understanding is so beautiful. I quite like peas, fresh or boiled. Haven't had mushy peas, but I'll even enjoy some pea soup every once in a while, if it's thick and properly made (not like the clear water with green pebbles at the bottom and the floating bits of grey minced meat that they served us in grade school...). But I get it - if you can't stand peas, I'm not going to fault you for that. My cryptonite is huge globs of mayonnaise. I dislike both the taste and the texture. On sandwiches, the mayo has to be flavoured and spread thin if there's any, and I just hate any salad dressing that's mayo based.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
I HATE mayo. It's the taste for me.
@jequirity1
Жыл бұрын
Mayo and eggs for me. Both have that slimy, mucous-y texture that I can't stand. Oh, and ranch is horrible as well.
@applechoco483
11 ай бұрын
I know, right? How can something be so slimy and so fluffy at the same time?! It's bizarre! Just because the taste slaps doesn't mean staring at the jar for too long won't make the sandwich come out the same hole it went in LOL
@KegianRux
11 ай бұрын
@@applechoco483 A lot of people have a thing about slimy textures, and I totally get it, even if it isn't a problem for me. My issue is textures that are too homogenous. In addition to mayo, it makes some sausages and other meat products unsafe textures for me (usually the ones that have flour in them).
@DragonRiderShiru
6 ай бұрын
I thought I just despised mayo as a whole until I tried Japanese mayo. Thats on the approved list but regular mayo is still nope.
@idontwannapickanametho
11 ай бұрын
15:43 OP's (O-pea?) mom's boss sounds so wholesome omg, and what a great update!
@m4n1c.p1x13
Жыл бұрын
The invalidation I've experienced since self diagnosis is so fucking frustrating especially from my therapist like I trusted you with this personal information (I have trust issues so this was a big step) and he just threw that back in my face questioning me and saying I'm not autistic:/
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
I had a therapist that was the first person to suggest that I had autism and she really pushed the idea. I was assessed for autism and other mental illnesses. I was diagnosed as having ADHD with symptoms of autism. This was a long time ago before they understood autism in women. I stopped seeing this therapist because she left. Years later I heard she was working again and went back to her. She did not believe that I could be autistic. It hurt considering she was the first to suggest it. I quit seeing her because we kept fighting about me being assessed. I am now diagnosed with autism. I wish I could tell her but she is retired.
@accounta4311
Жыл бұрын
When I got my test results back, my therapist went “we all have a little bit of autism.” and never spoke of it again 😳
@crestflames492
Жыл бұрын
i don’t have anything super profound to say but I just think it’s so funny that so many autistic people have different foods that are triggers and others that are safe foods. for me, peas are one of the foods I absolutely love (not mashed peas though, I don’t like those either). I love peas and other small beans because the texture and taste is good, they’re small and not overwhelming, and they’re a good source of protein. Whereas things you mentioned, like tofu, make me gag, because they’re too big with a gross texture and I’m also a super taster, and tofu is one of the foods that trigger supertasters and has such and overwhelming and awful taste and smell. i know my experience is probably in the minority but I just find it very funny. in general foods that are small, bite sized, and smooth like peas are so nice because they go down easily and don’t make me gag. I definitely have more trouble with anything that is thick if it has a texture I hate, like deli meats, or tofu like I mentioned. this is a very inconsequential thing but I just felt the need to comment lol
@grimlen_named_Moss
Жыл бұрын
I'm a big fan of peas too. Hate when they are mooshy as well lol. Don't get me started on kidney beans as long as they re not over seasoned or greasy they are great. Your comment made me realize that I tend to gravitate towards small foods as well.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
I hate tofu. The taste and the texture. I was only allowed one food I didn't have to eat as a child I picked tofu. I dislike a lot of foods and I had to choke them down but tofu was the one I avoided. My parents were mostly vegetarian so they served it a lot.
@tracik1277
Жыл бұрын
Love peas, hate tofu same. I like Quorn but it doesn’t like me, gives me a really painful belly.
@NeuroSeasoned
Жыл бұрын
Me too!
@artinrote341
Жыл бұрын
1. I am not formally diagnosed and don't have the money or accessibility to try and get one currently. 2. I do like Peas surprisingly 3. I can't eat most other vegetables or fruits that are crunchy. I can eat cooked carrots because they are soft, but eating raw carrots is the worst. I've had many issues in my past with people acting like I should just get over it. But it makes me either gag or too nauseous to finish the meal. I was glad to learn I wasn't alone in this, especially when researching autism.
@divarnacia
11 күн бұрын
Ik im 11 months late but, how do you like your peas cooked? :3
@artinrote341
11 күн бұрын
@divarnacia I honestly just like them heated up straight from the can. I've only had fresh Peas once and they weren't as soft as canned ones. Which for me means it was an unpleasant experience to eat "crunchy" peas ☹️
@steeviebops
4 ай бұрын
I self-diagnosed back in January 2006. I wasn't feeling too well mentally and posted in a Reddit-style forum looking for advice. Someone suggested I may be autistic based on what I said (which had never crossed my mind before), and that started the ball rolling. I looked into it and felt convinced that I was. But, at the time, I was shot down by anyone I suggested it to. I wasn't able to find anyone willing to work with me on it - "sure anyone can tick a few boxes online" and "focus on what you can do, not what you can't" were what I was told. So I self-diagnosed and pretty much left it at that. That was until late last year, when I ended up back in therapy with an excellent therapist who knew where I should be looking. I was officially diagnosed autistic on 27th March this year. I cried when I got the news, it proved to me that I wasn't lying for the past 18 years.
@Sincald
10 ай бұрын
That second one was so adorable basically the whole way through, my gosh
@glenrose7482
Жыл бұрын
I also cried hearing the pea story 🥺. It was so lovely 🥰. I will say I absolutely hate peas BUT I grew up on a hobby farm and had fresh peas from the plants and the taste and texture is so completely delicious and different from the rubbish peas in the shops. Strange I know right. If you are on a farm/garden and they offer you fresh peas where the peas inside the pods look like new born babies and don't look like they are on their death bed, puffed up and about to explode like a collapsing star... maybe give it a try 😅
@justinahole336
Жыл бұрын
Not for nothing, but the whole pea story struck me as the parent just not thinking things through. The parent knew the child doesn't like peas and would be sitting across from the boss. How about, oh, I don't know, maybe not serving a dish with peas? Just a thought...
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
To be fair if her son is like me he might have a very long list of foods he doesn't like. But I thought the mother was acting a bit strange as well.
@renamation8098
11 ай бұрын
I got a little misty eyed at the duck pea story. The boss and the mum and the writer were so lovely and the communication and aughsödb so wholesome. It was so nice to read.
@WynterDragon
Жыл бұрын
I self diagnosed before I decided to get a formal. I had been seeing a therapist for several years and eventually she brought up that I might be. I had to see another provider and do 3 days of testing to get a formal diagnosis and after COVID no one around will diagnose adults anymore for some reason, just kids. If I hadn't been applying for disability I wouldn't have gotten the formal tbh.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
They only wanted to diagnose kids in my state during Covid as well. They kept trying to avoid putting me on the waiting list. They said I could be on a waiting list to get on the real waiting list. I live in the USA. We can have waiting lists too sometimes.
@WynterDragon
Жыл бұрын
@@Catlily5 I'm also in the US. I had to wait 6mo pre COVID and my husband had to wait a year during! Now the place that diagnosed him won't see anymore adults.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
@@WynterDragon I gave up and used stimulus money to pay for an assessment. I would have been waiting 2+ years otherwise.
@FallisLife
8 ай бұрын
Self diagnosis gets beat down a lot but it honestly can help so much. I don’t go around claiming I have autism to everyone I meet but I’ve been discussing it with my recently diagnosed autistic best friend. A lot of our behaviors match up and I’ve been doing deep research for a while now. My life has become so much easier after learning about the symptoms and how to deal with them. It’s hard to believe people, heck it took me too long to understand my friends mental health because I was so young and thought that couldn’t happen. Turns out we both had very similar mental health issues and I was just denying it. Self diagnosis can help people get through the mild symptoms. Don’t immediately brush off their worries just because there is no medical document.
@colleencrews9739
7 ай бұрын
A self-diagnosis isn't a thing. It's speculation on a potential explanation. Autism is a notoriously hard thing to diagnose to the point of eluding many professionals.
@jazdager7755
7 ай бұрын
the peas story is making me bawl my eyes out omg i wish all misunderstandings with neurodivergence could be sorted so beautifully :')
@CadeAver
2 ай бұрын
Oh I'm tearing up so much, I love that last story. OP, the mom, and the boss ALL deserve the best in life!!
@middledog466
10 ай бұрын
the peas story is relatable on a level. that boss truly sounds like such a good person, i would've felt flattered by his compassion i think, but i never would've felt like eating my own food was disrespectful. i don't think it is at all.
@JennaGetsCreative
Жыл бұрын
I'm in an autism support group on Facebook for autistic individuals and immediate family members in my province, and most adults get assessed at the same place. They have a very, very low rate of adult autism assessments for self-referred patients resulting in no diagnosis. This is party because they have a screening appointment that becomes part of your total assessment in terms of final cost if you proceed and doesn't cost you and arm and a leg if you don't, but generally they find that people who aren't autistic aren't turning up to spend thousands on assessment.
@bluorb
Жыл бұрын
That was very sweet 🥰 I really like it when people consider animals that are not their pets. It brought a tear to my eye 🥲 I'm probably autistic & actually found your channel after finding out about autistic burnout. It pretty much described exactly what I was going through. I was getting pretty concerned because I just couldn't find the energy to do anything for a long period of time, at least 2 months. I am finally coming out of it, which is amazing. And I've really liked watching your videos, you seem like a very nice person :) There are a handful of things that make me doubt that I am autistic, or at least that I would be easily diagnosed as autistic. I am able to make extended eye contact, but I've noticed that when I'm talking it's a lot harder. There was a good 8 year period where I had 3 other friends at one time, but it upset me internally quite a bit the few times they kinda tried to expand the group. Other than that, I've always just had 1 maybe 2 friends. I'm not all that organized, except for the things that I am very interested in... so maybe that really doesn't fit in the "maybe not autistic" category 😹 I'm pretty sure I'm able to tell what peoples emotions are, but I'm soooooo lost on social cues. I've just had to tell people to be direct with me because subtlety doesn't work well with me. I'm pretty much ok with textures across the board, even weird ones like squid (and peas 😹) On the other hand, I've always had narrow focused interests. I had a dime collection when I was a kid. Basically, I'd do any thing for a dime because I guess I loved them. I have a huge video game collection that, until I moved a few years ago, was extremely organized. I have almost 100 Furbies & I like to turn them on like normal, but I also like taking them apart, cleaning them, and also cross-wiring the circus to make them do crazy stuff. I prefer to be alone & don't find it lonely (95% of the time, sometimes I want someone around). I Loooooove cats & have 3, they keep me company. I'm not very concerned with my outward appearance, except to keep a tidy beard & cut my hair before it gets too long which drives me crazy. It drives me a bit crazy when people use horrible grammar & no punctuation on YT!! I have a near or at genius level IQ (136) but I have a hard time keeping a job... partially because I have a hard time finding work & part because all the jobs I've liked were with businesses that went out of business 😤 I get hyper focused on things to the point where I loose track of time. I love finding out about things that I knew nothing about, especially on YT. I loathe parties. I'm pretty good with 1 person, 2 is bearable, and 3 is a crowd that usually makes me uncomfortable. I like routine & have a hard time with change. I'm "weird" / "quirky" / "different" /"particular" but I have had a fiend that told me I'm the best human she's ever known (best compliment ever, though I kind of try to not be like a majority of humans because they are so weird to me) I don't like almost any typical male things like sports, cars, competition, being angry with people & though I am do like females a lot, it's very hard to "just put myself out there" and find a good one! (as if it's that simple...) After reading about how the female mind processes things vs male I have to say I process things much more like a female. I've now realized that I do like to monologue to people rather than talk sometimes. There have been many times that I just want to tell people something interesting, though it's not prompted by anything being said at the time. I don't do it as often now, but I often start a conversation mid way, because I've already been having the conversation with myself in my head. I've felt like an alien of sorts for most of my life. Apparently I like to rant (case in point) Aaaand I definitely overshare & am not modest about telling people things that others would probably not talk about as openly, like being diagnosed with MS 7 years ago (I'm 40). I think it's kind of cool because I was so wrecked & even had to learn to walk again, but I did it with food & not drugs. That did require me to start eating things I didn't like, for instance liver & leafy greens. Thinking back in life, some things have stood out to me. I hate weddings. I had to go to 3 cousins weddings in a short period of time & all 3 times I went to a table in the corner & didn't get up until it was over except to get some food. One was so overwhelming that I just had to go outside & sit until it was over. I felt bad about not being social, but social situations are just too much... And when one of my best friends got married & I was a best man, I had a panic attack after the wedding & just left without telling anyone. I hope you actually read to this point (or at least read this last part) in part because I have a lot of respect for you (I couldn't put myself out there on video like you have) and It's helped me be a lot more comfortable with the idea that I am probably autistic. So... Thank you very much!!! 😻
@TheHestya
10 ай бұрын
I'm not autistic, but I have a plethora of other mental health diagnoses. I would strongly argue when it comes to mental health the most common way to an official diagnosis is through self-diagnosis. If I didn't recognize the symptoms I live with and put them together into boxes that make sense, I wouldn't have been able to bring those boxes to my GP and let them examine the boxes. I would have just lived undiagnosed, without support, without the ability to explain to myself and others my behaviours and feelings. The only way to get help with a lot of things is if you yourself understand that you have an issue that a doctor should look at. All my anxiety disorders, depression, OCD. A doctor didn't know I wash my hands all the time, a doctor didn't know I get panic attacks when people touch bins and don't wash their hands. I knew it. I deduced I have contamination OCD. I went to the GP with that diagnosis in my hands.
@SyllinZiwokam
8 ай бұрын
Both me and my brother are autistic and we both dislike different foods, so during meals, we would often trade foods. For example, my brother hates peas, but I like them, so he would give me his peas. While my mother would encourage us to try new foods, she never forced us to eat something we didn't like; we had a rule in our house that we had to eat some veggies but we could choose what we wanted to eat so long as we were getting healthy food in to our bodies.
@divarnacia
11 күн бұрын
@@SyllinZiwokam thats actually so nice :0.. random question, does she ever make stir fry broccoli tho? (Big broccoli person here 😭😭, idk why im asking. I just dhsjjsjs)
@deesparklebazinga9374
Жыл бұрын
When i was diagnosed with ASD my assessor mentioned that she has come across less than a handful of people who suspected/self diagnosed prior to going for an assessment fouund out that they were wrong and did not have ASD! I found this very interesting!!
@natashabrown4790
9 ай бұрын
Have recently self diagnosed myself as autistic after noticing some delays in my toddler. Going down the google pipeline for her ended up making me realize she probably got it from me. Sooo many "quirks" growing up. My family rolled their eyes when I told them. Not much support.
@CSpottsGaming
8 ай бұрын
"Take your peas to Greece, I suppose, is the moral of the story." Truly a way with words 😂
@j.l.w9563
Жыл бұрын
I had a friend tell me he was autistic and it took a few years (I had a lot going on) but eventually it really helped me that he had told me that. It explains the way that he just can't understand subtext. It doesn't go in. It doesn't get acknowledged. There is no subtle negotiation you can make with him. Like you give me this and I give you that. I tend to agree with you here. If someone says they are autistic there isn't a lot of benefit to them. I don't take the attention seeking to be likely. Also, using it as a victim status card for immunity from accountability I also don't see. Most people with the label are using it to explain behaviours that it would strongly benefit them, with no downside, if they just stopped doing said behaviours.
@mage3690
10 ай бұрын
"It can be kind of an asshole move to just run around diagnosing your friends as autistic." Funny story about that, one of my literally 2 autistic friends I met by walking up to them and asking point blank "what's your special interest?" It was a very calculated question and I had a decision tree at least 3 layers deep going into the conversation (one of my lesser special interests (mostly because I couldn't find a lot of information on it) was game theory (as in, Dr Pastine game theory)): if he answers with "WTF do you mean by that," not autistic (I've noticed allistic people will try to read further meaning into the words "special interest," almost like they can smell that it's jargon for something), if he just straight up answers it, autistic but maybe doesn't know about it, if he answers and indicates that he knows that's an autistic thing, definitely autistic and probably diagnosed. The response was a perfect example of why you can't predict conversations with other people: "did you just autism me?" Well no, not really, but the question served it's purpose perfectly, thanks for that. Also, time to throw out the deeper layers of my script, thanks for that too.
@NekoShogun
Жыл бұрын
Self diagnosed here. I know that self diagnosis is becoming more accepted here lately because of the way the medical system fails autists on a regular basis. For me, I'm mid 30s and can't find anyone nearby that focuses on adult diagnosis. For that last story, 2 things. 1. My mom absolutely hates the texture of peas, but like I'm 100% ok with them. 2.Have you looked into supertasters at all? Greens tasting iron-y is a pretty common trait for supertasters.
@like90
7 ай бұрын
Omg I'm crying about how nice that boss was and how nice the mom was at the end and how nice the guy was feeding peas to ducks. Lovely people
@Jillbles
Жыл бұрын
That poor person at the dinner, I feel that so much. It's tomatoes for me. On their own or in sauce, though for different reasons. Which means that I hate most pizza. Since pizza parties are huge for children, it was a HUGE problem. There was no hiding that I was, "weird," or, "rude," because I could not eat them. I tried to force myself in some circumstances, but it was always a disaster. I got used to just... not eating. I love English peas, but only raw. 😆
@BeeWhistler
Жыл бұрын
I mean, you don’t even need to be Autistic to dismiss offending people… there’s just a certain sort of personality I think most of us have met who love to say things like, “I’m sorry you’re offended but the truth is painful,” and “I’m very straightforward. It offends a lot of people but I pride myself on speaking my mind.” So they try and sublimate the fact that they aren’t even trying to be polite. I had an issue with that when I was younger, but I’ve matured and try to be more tactful now. It’s hard to do in the moment and so I do try and avoid conversations out in the world but at least I recognize that words can hurt. So yeah, I dunno why we act like neurotypicals never offend people. They do it a lot and try to justify it. Also, Mum’s boss sounds nicer than her. She already knew about the pea aversion and mixed them into the food anyway and insisted he join them for the meal and had the nerve to complain that her son removed them. Also, what does his behavior at a meal have to do with her work status? That makes exactly no sense. And who says her kid should have to be at dinner just because theirs were? Why would anyone have work friends come to their house anyway? I don’t understand these people. Is this some office thing? Never worked in an office…
@d.d.d.a.a.a.n.n.n
Жыл бұрын
I agree with you that the mom's behavior mystifies me, I had all the same questions as you
@darkmoondoll
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for making this video. I don't like peas or butter beans or fava beans gag! I just realized that I am autistic and I turned 50 this year. My therapist told me that I am autistic after asking me a series of questions. And therapist has an adult son has ASD. I am homeless right now. She suggested that I go to a psychologist to get a diagnosis. She told that autism is considered a disability. Because I am 50 this woman who considers herself as my friend said to me " You are not autistic, you just appear to be autistic because how creative ot an artist you are. But I know , I am a psychic and I know you are not autistic!". Thank you for this channel ❤❤😸
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
Since when does being a psychic make you qualified to diagnose?
@darkmoondoll
Жыл бұрын
@@Catlily5 Exactly! She assumes that she knows me better than I know myself.
@mauhu
Жыл бұрын
8:50 People get so upset when you self diagnose as autistic, but most allistics haven't been tested for autism, and thereby selfdiagnosing as allistic...
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
🤣 Good point! They are assuming that they are "normal".
@katies3733
Жыл бұрын
For the first one. A lot of things aren't pie, and are treated like pie. A lot of things are spectrums and people's self-diagnosis usually don't mean that they are taking away rights from others. Like more people using the term autistic doesn't usually intrude on support needs of diagnosed people. There's always a couple people trying to gain a system, but I'd rather have a better system for everyone and have a couple people take advantage of that then protect the current system from people that happen to be overexagerating their self-diagnosis. I'm always striving for the best outcomes. And most outcomes are best if they include everyone which is only an additive process not a subtractive process. Health of humans isn't pie by adding support to those with lower support needs you don't then backtrack your support of those with higher support needs. You add to both. Every person with a mental health disorder/developmental disorder/a specific diagnosed neurotype that I've met has had problems with their diagnosed condition being overused by non-diagnosed populations because eventually the people who need support most are not believed that their cases need support because of overdiagnosis or lots of self diagnosis. And I would just like to point out that, that's evidence of a really shitty health system that stopped believing you. That's not intrinsically the fault of people who have lower support needs, people who were misdiagnosed, or people who self id. That's the fault of a shitty health care system that doesn't meet anyone's needs. Like it doesn't make it right that the health care system failed you. But it's not the correct correction to exclude self diagnosis and people with lower support needs to compensate for the shittiness of a system that doesn't work.
@idontknowwhatimdoinghere
11 ай бұрын
“A lot of things aren’t pie” What’s this? Is it food?
@CallmeMelinanow
Жыл бұрын
This is so interesting. I'm a 48 year old woman who jas just realized that I'm autistic and i know that when you are in the discovery phase, you want to tell everyone! But very few people cared. Ive always been "quirky" and "sensitive" and I was so happy to start to figure out why! Its so hard in this phase and you know that speaking your truth creates tension and more of a feeling of always being misunderstood. It's not easy.
@vrenfield
8 ай бұрын
I did the peer reviewed nd thing with one person irl & it worked out well. a guy in the same social circle was repulsed by & avoided certain textures (in food, clothes, materials in general), had an honest to god favourite spoon at home (only one that felt "right", the thought of losing it genuinely upset him), troubles processing speech + he got obviously overstimulated in malls/crowds. gently brought it up to him, prefacing I face some of the same stuff, and yeah. autistic & officially diagnosed now skdhskdh
@yesterdaydream
Жыл бұрын
In my 30s and only realized I was autistic after explaining to an autistic girl at a party, "No, I'm like...REALLY picky." She was like, "Oh, having only a few safe foods can be an autistic thing, have you ever considered..." and then it slowly started to make sense. My relationships with food, sleep, clothes, sound, light...I'd never thought of autism as being so related to sensory experience, but turns out that's...very much a part of it, lol! Anyway, I'm ultimately glad she said something, politely and in good faith and in an appropriate context.
@acreepycookie3275
Жыл бұрын
The first story actually reminded me a bit heavily of something which happened to me recently (only two weeks ago and repercussions are still ringing loudly today) and I was painted out by family as being the a-hole because I don’t have a formal diagnosis. However, it’s been unspoken in my family for my entire life that I am autistic and it’s only been verbalized recently as I got one of my many therapists over the years to look my mom in the face and tell her “Your child is autistic, if you can go about getting a diagnosis, I’d recommend it.” We didn’t end up persuading a diagnosis (its expensive) but it did spark up talk about me being autistic in my family and I can now explain my behaviors with a label openly. This becomes a problem when it’s no longer just my “quirky” behavior but my “problematic” behavior as well. What is this “problematic” behavior? I told my step father I don’t like it when he touches me and I’d like him to stop. We’ve been having this argument for years. I finally snapped when him touching me is what caused me to have a three hour long meltdown and yelled at him to not touch me. This resulted in an hour long screaming match about him and my mom claiming I’m using the “idea” my therapist “put in my head” which is me being autistic to “push people away” because when asked why he couldn’t touch me I told him it hurts when people touch me. He told me that it was impossible for it to hurt or be uncomfortable and I told him I’m more sensitive to sensory input due to my autism which led to him telling me that’s “not an excuse” and he needs a “real reason” to not touch me before he stops doing it. Of course, I can’t tell him that it’s weird that outside of my mom I’m the only person he touches in the way he touches me because I’ve tried opening that conversation before and it ended far worse than this conversation did. I don’t know. I don’t think I’m the a-hole here but maybe I am. I don’t like people touching me at all and he tries to touch me multiple times every day when I don’t hug my mom but maybe once a month being generous. I also don’t think I was using my autism to excuse my “unruly behavior” but simply explain it because this was the first time since my therapist told my mom I should get a diagnosis that this fight has broken out. Some people just take setting boundaries as a personal attack though and he’s demonstrated every time I’ve tried to set boundaries with him he sees it as a “defiant act” and all that. Can’t wait until I finally have the funds to move out. Hopefully within the next year, fingers crossed.
@d.d.d.a.a.a.n.n.n
Жыл бұрын
You're not the asshole. I also hated being touched by my mom as a kid, and still often cringe over it. But in particular, what your step father is doing is abusive, by denying you bodily autonomy and rejecting your request to not be touched by forcing you to be touched. I hope you can move out very very soon. Before that, is there any way you can spend more time someplace where your step father can't antagonize you? I used to spend as much time as possible at libraries, because I like them, but also people would leave me alone in libraries
@acreepycookie3275
Жыл бұрын
@@d.d.d.a.a.a.n.n.n Unfortunately no. I live in a very small area. No places to really just hang out and be. However, for the most part I am good at just avoiding him and it’s what I’ve been doing so it’ll work for now.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
I hope you can leave home soon. Your step father should respect your boundaries.
@rulr9721
Жыл бұрын
Second story made me emotional waaa 🥺.. Man i love wholesome interactions and healthy talks and all.. I really don't get that at all in my life
@ZSchrink
Жыл бұрын
Every bit of this is just so beautiful. I'm so happy with the boss, the mom, and OP in the peas and ducks story!
@nanimalgirlEssie
Жыл бұрын
Oh the peas... I'll disappoint you but yes, from a cup. With a spoon. Cold, after dinner is over. Hmmm! (I am ashamed now, but I shall continue my nasty ways. Somebody has to eat those peas. #opposedtofoodwaste) The young man and his peas and ducks story brought me to tears though. Can real life really be that understanding and lovely? How amazing was that!!! Nice bosses, kind moms, good kids and lovely ducks. It does not get any better. Thank you for sharing!!!
@unperfectperfectionist
Жыл бұрын
The main reason I don't plan on trying for an official diagnosis is because I'm pretty sure nobody would believe me, and I don't think I can handle that emotionally
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
I was so scared to be evaluated that I could hardly speak at first when I went to the assessment.
@accounta4311
Жыл бұрын
No one believed me as well, but having the piece of paper in my hands helped convince myself that it was real. As time went on, I can say today that I am glad I sought diagnosis
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
@@accounta4311 I am glad I got my diagnosis as well!
@divarnacia
11 күн бұрын
@@unperfectperfectionist yeah 🥲 or saying “🤓 youre just lying to have more attention!!! You already have so many things wrong with you? Why add more??” 🤨 like lemme find who i am, Kiran!!
@secretfox8940
Жыл бұрын
The update on the second story was so nice. It was a great way for it to all turn out
@lightbeingform
9 ай бұрын
I teared up at that last one too. That mom and son did a beautiful job communicating through something hard. ❤
@maggierestivo5256
Жыл бұрын
Self-diagnosed here. First discovered I might be autistic by watching a video two years ago. Since then, been researching like mad (bought a small library of books, both pbks and kindle) and also compiled 2 scrapbook journals with my notes on reading and research, found my old report cards from grades 1-7, etc., etc. Fortunately, my husband believes me (he hasn't said much, but I think he's now understanding a lot more about why I do things the way I do), and so do the few friends I have told (some of whom are also autistic, there's a lot of us in the science fiction fan community). Loved the pea story! I hate, hate, HATE peas. In the 80s and 90s I had a German Shepherd Dog (Alsatian) who would eat the remaining food from my mom's tuna fish casserole dish. He loved the tuna fish bits, and the pasta...but he carefully left the peas! I said to my dad, "Smart dog!" To this day, I hate peas. I had to tell my husband, "Forgive me for not watching you while you eat right now. I don't mean to be rude, but it's disgusting. Not only are you eating two foods that make me gag -- peas and mashed potatoes -- you are also mashing them up together while you eat them! Horrible!" He just laughed and laughed. That was a great video, and I agreed with your assessment. The first OP was an asshole (I'm so old, I had to ask someone what "OP" meant), but the second one was not. (Oh, and I loved your PDA videos, too, because thanks to them, I now have the book "PDA by PDAers" by Sally Cat, and oh, BOY, am I PDA! Explains SO much about me, growing up and all through the decades. Keep on with the great work, you are an inspiration!) :)
@TangerineOmega
Ай бұрын
I'm not a very emotional guy usually, but that story with the man and the peas really got to me. It was so sweet and heartwarming throughout, and by the end I had little tears rolling down my face. It's like you said, it felt like a whole novel in one little post. The writing just had a simple and pure charm to it. I felt refreshed listening to it. I hope the writer, the boss and the mum are all doing well and that the ducks are enjoying many peas :)
@BilliesCraftRoom
Жыл бұрын
For me I use the phrase I self identity as ... Then if someone disagrees, it leaves the option to go with 'I respect that's your opinion, but that is not my lived experience ' Totally in research more and a st ton of reading, watching, and having me too moments so often.
@Sophie_Cleverly
Жыл бұрын
Crying over the peas update 😭 Also I think I have the exact opposite sensitivity to you, I love peas and used to eat whole packs of raw ones as a kid, but hate the texture of tofu 😆
@Anima19925
Жыл бұрын
So I'm from the U.S. (and the venice beach reference makes me think they're from the U.S. too) and I recently looked into pursuing a formal diagnosis after strongly suspecting that I have autism (and doing lots of research/data-backed quizzes/etc). A formal diagnosis costs a MINIMUM of $3000 and insurance does not cover anything. The only autism centers that came up in my insurance network were all ABA therapy (which the autistic community knows is awful). Also, there is no option to pay the $3000 over time, its due in-full, up-front at the first appointment. Also, given that I'm an adult and no longer in school, I don't think a diagnosis could give me the benefit of any accommodations. The main reason why I would want a formal diagnosis is to prevent situations like this one where someone is trying to invalidate me because they think they know better than I do. But is validation worth $3000? I don't know. But either way I can't get the diagnosis, because at this point that is completely unaffordable for me. But self-diagnosing has really helped me to understand myself, and learning about how others with autism navigate life and self-accommodate has been really helpful. I just wish people wouldn't be such a*holes about self-diagnosis.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
I am from a rural state and I paid $500 for an autism assessment. Other people say $1000 in their state. So maybe shop around. I heard you can even get on-line assessments if you can't travel though I imagine it would be lower quality.
@Catlily5
Жыл бұрын
Oh, I know $500 is still a lot of money and I think self diagnosis is valid. I was just lucky to get extra cash and got diagnosed this year.
@elainelouve
9 ай бұрын
I think peers suggesting one might have this thing is good. A friend of mine asked if I could be bipolar, and I asked what made her think that way, and she explained. So I did some research, saw that it could fit, asked my therapist, who really thought about it, but came to the conclusion that no, it's likely that I don't have bipolar. So it was closed out by a professional. This information is now helping me to seek out ADHD assessment.
@WeeLin
Жыл бұрын
Okay, so I had a thought that kind of tied the two stories together (in my head, at least). First, I'm self diagnosed autistic, and if I disclosed that to friends and someone LAUGHED, I think I'd want to run away and cry. The thought that people wouldn't believe me, or thought I "didn't look autistic" had kept me silent and masking for years. Literally, over a decade. BUT, I started pursuing a formal diagnosis, went through a referral, interviews, and other "screening" tests (including the AQ and EQ tests, which are real diagnostic tools and possibly one of them was that "quiz" that first person took from the link on TikTok). I then spent a year and half on a waiting list for a full assessment, but then I moved out of the area, and now I have to start the process all over. I'm in the UK, so I don't even have the cost factor that Americans have to consider, but it's still taken me years to NOT get a formal diagnosis yet, but that doesn't make me any less autistic in the mean time. My friends, family and fiance all find it's been a great way to understand me, plus it's helped me to advocate for my own needs. Anyway, my link to the second story was that the assessment centre I was supposed to be attending turned out to be right next to a park with a duck pond, and my plan was to go and feed the ducks right after my assessment. I thought that would be nice and calming after a day of interviews. I was even planning to bring a bag of peas or birdseed along to the assessment, because I know that bread isn't good for ducks. Also, I do actually like normal peas, but mushy peas can get in the sea - horrible concept!
@jessicasinclair691
Жыл бұрын
You're my current special-interest 😅💕 Thank you soooo much for sharing your experience and your knowledge and wisdom! KZitem is truly a wonderful resource
@dzebra
Жыл бұрын
I am currently on a waiting list to get an autism assessment. It all started with a therapist recommending I take the AQ test and just see what I got. My therapist wasn't sure if I could be autistic as I make good eye contact (my mum is hard of hearing and if I didn't look at her when speaking, she would get cross as she can't hear so I learnt as a child that making eye contact kept mum happy) but in our therapy sessions, she noticed other autistic traits like not being able to describe emotions, and not knowing how people would respond to things and disliking certain sounds and texture and repeating subtle movements (like fiddling with the hem of my dress constantly). On the AQ test, I scored 39 and that sparked a huge research spiral where I read everything I could about autism for several months. I forced my family to take the AQ test as I wanted to know if everyone scored high, I thought that maybe it was impossible to score "low" (turns out some people do score low on the AQ test). I was very nervous telling my family that I suspected I was autistic as I didn't think they would believe me but they had all been aware of my autistic traits for years (turns out I'm not as good at masking as I thought). I wrote several pages of notes from my research and handed it into my GP who agreed to refer me for an adult autism assessment (I even used headings which covered each trait outlined in the DSM diagnostic criteria). My GP asked me why it was so important that I get diagnosed as autism can't be cured. I'm also left handed and I told him that if I pick up a pair of standard right handed scissors, they are difficult to cut with, I can manage it but the line is jagged and wonky because they aren't designed for me. I know I am left handed and right handed stuff doesn't work properly for me. Instead of thinking I am a failure, I find left handed scissors that are designed for me. The same thinking applies with autism. Knowing I might be autistic allows me to reframe my thoughts, I'm not a failure because I find something difficult which everyone else can do, it just isn't designed for me. I can then find a solution which does work for me and I can be kinder to myself while doing it. I am still very early in my journey but discovering I was possibly autistic has already helped so much. My mental wellbeing is better as I am less self-critical when I can't do something everyone else can do. I feel able to ask for help more when I think I am missing a big social cue. I am not forcing myself into over-stimulating situations as much. If I need to be in an over-stimulating environment, I allow myself to stim and give myself space to recover when I leave the environment. It has also helped my friends and family to find ways that work for me, for instance, we now go to restaurants at quieter times so I don't get overstimulated as quickly. On the surface, it looks like I have self-diagnosed from one online test, especially if I don't tell people all the research that I have done as a result. A lot of people start out self-diagnosing, they notice something they struggle with and look for answers. That is true across many health things, especially when it is difficult to access healthcare (either because of cost or long waiting lists). My waiting list is 2 years, and that is quite short compared to some other areas of the country. Apologises for the long comment but I also want to say thank you as your videos have been a big part of my research in helping me understand autism and realising that I am not alone in some of the things I struggle with. divide
@pedrova8058
Жыл бұрын
I fell into the same spiral of research, reading scientific papers, then reviewing videos and experiences of diagnosed people (to compare day-to-day experiences). And then I took several online tests, RAAD-S, AQ, CatQ. The "problem" is that I don't have very high scores, but consistently a few points above the cut-off threshold. So, I move away from the neurotypical average, but I'm not "too" autistic (which doesn't eliminate my poor socialization skills, or all the asd traits _like physical, bodily things- that I remember from my childhood).
@homesteadgamer1257
9 күн бұрын
That update with the peas made me cry! That was such a beautiful story with a beautiful arc.
@SprocketWatchclock
Жыл бұрын
My food sensitivity was for a lot of kinds of meat. My body refused to swallow it. I almost threw up trying one time when my mom was trying to force me to eat. I can't swallow it at all . Now that I'm an adult and can choose my own food I've become a vegetarian. When I tell people I'm a vegetarian often they want to jump to moralize it thinking I was gonna try to preach about it to be but it's literally just that I find meat gross. I don't care what other people are eating. Oh and my favorite food is matar paneer which translates to peas and cheese.
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