It’s number two for me. I mean… it’s all of them, but number two hits home the most. If I cuddle up with my husband in bed for more than 20 seconds he’s ready to go and then I have to turn him down and say “I just wanted to cuddle with you for a few minutes” and then I feel like a jerk.
@jgp1294
21 күн бұрын
samr
@ajregalia1334
21 күн бұрын
Have you talked with him about this? What did he say?
@whatthesithisthis7523
21 күн бұрын
Try scheduling sex, that way when you cuddle you BOTH know the cuddle isn’t going anywhere
@pockyaki5170
21 күн бұрын
You just wanna spend some time with them in a nonsexual way but somehow it always leads to sex or wanting to squish squeeze and feel. Oh but when you're not about being a 'stress ball' you end up coming off as cold and uninterested. And how it's your fault for feeling that way when they just wanted to be close. 😢 Does it always have to be sex though?... Makes me wonder if I'm even good enough because I can never seem to be or offer enough. Sorry this hits REALLY hard for me rn
@strongmomma4u
21 күн бұрын
I feel the same thing happening here at my house. I don't like to be touched anymore because it always leads to "the deed" 90% of the time, when I really just want to be close and just relax with him with no expectations.
@KitanaDenton
19 күн бұрын
He wanted me to be his mother. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, and he didn't do ANYTHING to help with ANYTHING. I wasn't attracted to him anymore.
@j.k.961
21 күн бұрын
I know all of those from personal experience and would like to add a fifth reason: She doesn't perceive you as a functional adult, but looks at you more like on a additional child. For me, I realized this was partly the reason for my lack in desire when my partner started taking ADHD meds and therefore suddendly was able to stay on top of much more of his tasks without external management.
@lestedman-falls912
21 күн бұрын
I deal with this frustration on a daily basis.He was an adult diagnosed ADHD and when he started taking meds, he got better with his personal stuff to a.point, bit still looks at me to manage a LOT of his personal needs lime making sure he has a lunch, even when he spent the two hours before he goes to work playing video games. 😢
@denisebayer8748
20 күн бұрын
@@lestedman-falls912don't do it... You're enabling him.. make him responsible.
@soulfuljuiciness
20 күн бұрын
@@lestedman-falls912he still needs to take self-responsibility regardless of ADHD diagnosis, I'm ADHD as is my son, and so many people using that as an excuse pisses me off no end, they need to find strategies so that their partners aren't being their parents
@JiyoungAn
20 күн бұрын
@@lestedman-falls912 adhd girl here. He is more than capable of making lunch (and other tasks). I think he got complacent with you picking up after him. When I have a bad day yes I have trouble initiating tasks but all it takes is my bf joining me. It's a method called body doubling. Instead of making lunch for him. Tell him he needs to prep his lunch. You're prepping yours now and he should join and prep his. After not having lunch a few times, I can bet he'll join and make his lunch while you make his. If he's not wiling to change and blames it on ADHD, thats a whole nother story. Also there are system & proceses we can implement in order to function. So he can figure it out (or try to) but he won't if he doesn't need to (cause you're doing everything for him) Good luck!
@tl8841
20 күн бұрын
👏👏👏👏👏
@RadishTheFool
21 күн бұрын
Also, if men feel like being exhausted doesn't affect the quality of sex, but their partner does, it might be time to have a look at how connecting and fulfilling that exhausted sex actually is. For both sides. Because I find a lot of men feel they can still have sex when exhausted, but then just leave all the mental labor of making it an enjoyable and loving experience to the woman. If making it fun for both sides is too much when you're tired, maybe you're not "always in the mood for sex" after all. You're just in the mood for getting off. Which is not the same thing at all.
@qwertyasdf1
21 күн бұрын
Beautifully said!
@sharicoburn5475
20 күн бұрын
You are so correct and being married does not mean that you become an object for somebody's gratification It needs to be mutually connected and satisfying
@xdxdxdxd4575
20 күн бұрын
Well said!!!!
@dominantproductions8973
20 күн бұрын
Not every day is a figurative candle lit bubble bath. People still have a need to wash though. That's what showers are for. Discounting a man's needs because they're inconvenient to you is no different than him doing the same to you. He asks you for 10 minutes of something that's supposed to be mutually beneficial. You're probably asking him for a significant amount of labor and resources, but astonishing enough you feel far more entitled to that from him than you think he is to your 10 minutes of physical pleasure. Maybe some women just need to rethink their attitudes on sex and relationships.
@dodopson3211
20 күн бұрын
@dominantproductions8973 Sorry, but no. I'm almost always in the mood when my partner wants to do it with me.. However if he ever felt the entitlement of getting to use my body for 10 minutes of gratification he would not be getting anything. I am a human not a s*xdoll. I wish to feel connected to my partner and not to feel like I'm getting used for his pleasure.
@gardennerd2312
20 күн бұрын
This hits home for me. The emotional connection and the pressure are the stand outs. Also, the lack of touching and attention outside of the bedroom. So, when my husband hugs me or something I know he wants sex. It makes me feel used and allergic to being touched.
@lily6246
19 күн бұрын
This.. indeed
@Egh0127
14 күн бұрын
Exactly. I get ignored 24/7 until he's "ready". I'm always alone taking care of the kids and housework and everything else in life and never get any help but then once he wants something sexually speaking then it's like wow are you an angel it's crazy bc I know it's fake it's way too obvious
@JLydia55
13 күн бұрын
💔
@char6081
5 күн бұрын
talk to him
@LadyBelladonnaStorm
4 күн бұрын
@@char6081And say what exactly?
@Imagineitwrite123
20 күн бұрын
Guys if you just stop asking for it for a while and start working on yourself and then paying attention to her and her needs while still showing intimacy. I started doing something in the morning where right before I left for work I would get back in bed and ask if we could cuddle for 5 minutes before I go to work. Now at first she said yes but I would get a comment that I was only doing it to “get some”. But guys if you stay consistent she will start to trust your not trying to manipulate her into having sex.
@genevieveohara5360
3 күн бұрын
This should be the top comment 👌 👏
@marcydrake9159
21 күн бұрын
Sweet Jesus I hope men are listening to you. This is all correct! ✅
@ajregalia1334
21 күн бұрын
Suppose you do all this and things don't change, what then?
@luluharmony8156
21 күн бұрын
@@ajregalia1334 If you tried everyone, including open and honest conversation with your partner and nothing changes, I'd have to say that it's time to look inwards and see if the relationship is worth pursuing.
@RandomPodficMaker
21 күн бұрын
@@ajregalia1334 ask her. say "hey, love, I noticed you're not as excited as you used to be about sex. I'm not trying to pressure you into having sex, I just want to know if everything is okay" or something like that
@ajregalia1334
20 күн бұрын
@@RandomPodficMaker That seems like it could have been step 1 rather than this video. I'm guessing these things are done after asking her that question and being told a vague answer. So supposing that doesn't change and she can't articulate any issues/reasons...what then?
@marcydrake9159
20 күн бұрын
@@ajregalia1334 perhaps a couples therapist can help you two figure it out.
@bobbel3474
20 күн бұрын
Reminder: If its not a clear yes the first time you ask, its a no. Sex is not something you can negociate, youre not trying to haggle prices at a fleamarket.
@Blind_Watcher
20 күн бұрын
Also remember, that a 'no' without context or explaination will kill your love life and ultimately your reltionship. Not being in the mood is fine, being tired is fine, etc. But also understand that humans are not mind readers and that physical intimacy, of which sex is a part, is important for a healthy relationship. If you rebuff your partner frequently, they will take that personally far more often than not.
@bobbel3474
20 күн бұрын
@@Blind_Watcher yes, communication is important, but if someones not feeling it lately they shoulnd force themselves to please the other person.
@Lyddiebits
19 күн бұрын
@@bobbel3474 agrees, unless it's gone on for months...or sex happens once every 6 weeks, that's a problem and needs to be addressed.
@saram.1587
19 күн бұрын
@@Blind_Watcherthen the reaction should be "Hey babe, can we talk about something? I've noticed you haven't been in the mood for anything lately, is something wrong?" It can be a mental health problem. It can be one of the things mentioned in the video. The solution is to comunicate and solve, not for the reluctant person to force themselves to do it. That just creates resentment.
@whodunnit
15 күн бұрын
@@saram.1587 I don't see where @Blind_Watcher is wrong with that addendum. A simple explanation other than just "no" can go far in communicating the lack of intimacy amongst partners. In no way did I interpret that as "keeping asking until there's a 'yes'".
@annettenewcomb9392
14 күн бұрын
This man is the smartest man I’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to. His wife is lucky!!!
@edwo6648
6 күн бұрын
Go read his bio, he cheated on her and now uses it as part of his sales pitch. 😂
@Tired.c
4 күн бұрын
@@edwo6648 He made a mistake, realized it, and now is guiding other people to be better and more emotionally intelligent like he is. Don't be a stick in the mud, people CAN learn and we should all be striving to do better.
@edwo6648
3 күн бұрын
@@Tired.c LOL I guess being older and more experienced than you has it's benefits. Jimmy is a con man. I'll admit a good one, but a con man non the less. You would be far better off watching Jordan Peterson videos or The Happy wife School.
@Dragonmoon8526
21 күн бұрын
The first one really drives it home. After marriage, it's surprising how one or both partners start to lose incentive to keep things fresh and exciting. Not 100% of the time, of course. But, in many aspects of the relationship. They treat marriage like a finish line instead of a new chapter or a starting point.
@K777angel
20 күн бұрын
Wow, what a great paradigm shift you've just offered
@maryangier2773
13 күн бұрын
A “finish” line. 😔
@dillp2267
21 күн бұрын
None of these were understood by my spouse, especially when my kids were small. He wanted it when he wanted it. If he didn’t get it, he threatened to get a second wife. I complied to his needs no matter how I felt or how exhausted I was. I spoiled him in every way I could. He just left me for another younger woman, even though I gave him my everything and he’s the only man I’ve ever been with. 18 years and 4 kids later, and he just packed up and left us last week.
@SENSEF
20 күн бұрын
That's AWFUL!
@peacelove7437
20 күн бұрын
Sorry. It’ll get old too, the relationship, the new feeling of falling for someone.
@denisebayer8748
20 күн бұрын
I'm so sorry.... I hope with time and healing, that you realize you deserve better. Hugs
@tamarbatyah7
20 күн бұрын
What religion is he?
@ganthori
20 күн бұрын
So sorry that happened to you.
@chelseaoconnor3261
20 күн бұрын
My husband and I have been working in #2 for a little over a year now (not that we’ve been abstinent that whole time, just that we’ve been working on removing the pressure) and it has done wonders for us. He tells me all the time now that he loves how flirty I am and our intimacy is stronger than ever. And I also know that on those weekends when our son is at my MIL’s and we have the opportunity to be physically intimate, that we don’t have to be and I don’t have to feel any pressure to “do it now because this is our chance.” Like I used to. If it happens it happens and that’s great, but if it doesn’t and we just play stardew together or we work on projects around the house or we harvest from the garden and preserve stuff together, that’s still really fulfilling for both of us.
@prettibaby3805
20 күн бұрын
If most men can think like you, be open to feedback, provide a safe space for thrashing out feelings where both parties feel seen and heard, and be determined to be a better man for her, there'd be less breakups and divorces. Yes, relationships are based on mutual respect and understanding, but it's rare for many men I've seen or known to work thru conflicts, it's usually 'my way or the highway'.
@Blind_Watcher
20 күн бұрын
Replace the word man with woman from your statement. That;s the reality for many men. It's a people problem, not a men problem.
@TomasaurusrexQQ
19 күн бұрын
@@Blind_Watcher exactly. Stuff like this is still an idiotic "point blame" thing. This is a people problem, not a gendered problem. I've known many men that worked 60+ hour weeks to get nagged all weekend and had no drive to do anything else. My father worked 3 jobs to support my useless mother and she still cheated on him and wanted every single second of his time not at work, but then would complain about money. Every single time I see someone make this a gendered issue I just see someone being disingenuous for content and money. I like a lot of this creators videos, but these kinds just seem like a lame take to get women to interact and increase his revenue. This is PEOPLE advice, not "man be bad".
@80sShred
3 күн бұрын
If most women don't pretend to have a high sex drive before they get into a committed relationship, then there wouldn't be many divorces. Men stop engaging in emotional connections when sex starts to reduce. In all of the divorces I have talked to men about, the women ALWAYS reduce the amount of sex they have once they move in with the man, and they are emotionally secure. THEN, the man starts to neglect the attention she needs, and she uses that as an excuse it's the mans lack of intimacy as the reason for lack of sex. 😂😂😂 Women are all narcissistic.
@cherrycordiaI
19 күн бұрын
The pressure thing is SUCH a big one. Sometimes it feels like I can't even relax properly around my husband. If he feels stimulated, it has to turn into something. Some hugs, cuddling, dressing after a shower. As soon as he's frisky, he wants to turn it into something... so I'd just stop letting myself 'slip' around him.
@kaydenl6836
15 күн бұрын
How often do yall have sex? Because most of the time, when I see this complaint, it’s like once or twice a month. No shit someone will jump at any opportunity they can get then. Women arousal seems to fade after being ignited. Mens stays. We STAY horny after getting worked up, it doesn’t just fade as easily.
@Cryinginthecloudssss
21 күн бұрын
Everytime I video chatted my ex he wanted to have phone sex. I get it he still liked me even from 1,000 miles away but EVERYTIME I was starting to feel like a cam girl too him and when I told him that HE took it as an attack. Like dude I just don’t wanna do it EVERYTIME we chat. I couldn’t do it anymore
@justkenzie
21 күн бұрын
I've been married for 17 years. This is all EXACTLY accurate.
@edwo6648
20 күн бұрын
So what changed in you that caused this?
@Opal5674
19 күн бұрын
@@edwo664817 years. 17...
@justkenzie
19 күн бұрын
@@edwo6648 what do you mean...? "Changed in me" compared to what? 🤔
@edwo6648
19 күн бұрын
@@justkenzie Assuming you are not a unicorn and engaged in adult activities with your husband before marriage, what changed in you after you were married? Did you put up wall with him, what changed in you? Those rings are not magical you know. And I was married 18 years, together 22 years with my late wife.
@justkenzie
13 күн бұрын
@edwo6648 Well, the initial flame (being in the infatuation stage) doesn't burn forever. That's a main driver for why a woman isn't as easily "turned on" or ready to go whenever her man wants it, but just like Jimmy states in the video, a man becomes complacent pretty easily and that causes a sense of disconnect for women. Passion is deeply dependent on emotional and intellectual connection, especially for females. I'm not sure exactly what else you're asking about what "changed," seeing as how you don't know me or my marriage...
@GeekyShyMama
20 күн бұрын
I know that all the things you say help a lot of people, but for me, it makes me cry, because it’s all too late for me, my soon to be ex-husband love starved me horribly, he did all the opposite from what this video teaches: every single effin day for 20 plus years. Now I am so tired and drained I look much older than my actual age, sorry for over sharing.
@sheanaguthrie6021
15 күн бұрын
Love to you Mama. You matter too... this is a new beginning x
@GeekyShyMama
Күн бұрын
@@sheanaguthrie6021 thank you my dear, you too.
@accailiaagathism
Күн бұрын
Sending some good vibes and warm hugs your way! This storm too shall pass and I hope that when it does you feel whole again💜
@jeric0777
21 күн бұрын
Also, "you wanna?" or something to that effect doesn't instantly get me in the mood. I'm not a childless 23 year old anymore with no responsibilities. At least put some kind of effort into it. Just because you can go from 0 to 100 in an instant doesn't mean I can too.
@ajregalia1334
21 күн бұрын
Could I ask, and I do so not to be confrontational but out of genuine curiosity, what do those two have to do with each other? Is it that life was less stressful back then and the added stress makes it harder to be aroused by your partner so even if they can get in the mood quickly you need something more?
@jeric0777
20 күн бұрын
@@ajregalia1334 Without going into too many personal details, when we got together I was 23 and in a very happy and worry-free time of my life. Whether it be from being in that frame of mind, or from the hormones at that age, or both, I admit I was easily aroused. Fast forward 25 years and we've been through more than most couples have personal tragedy wise. We have a lot on our plate to this day and we're both exhausted. All I'd like is for some other physical affection leading up to sex AND some physical affection that can just be physical affection without it having to lead to sex. I can't speak for all women, but I need that now even if I didn't need it then. I hope that answers your question.
@ajregalia1334
20 күн бұрын
@@jeric0777 It does, and thank you for the thoughtful response
@jeric0777
20 күн бұрын
@@ajregalia1334 Looks like it got censored for some reason, but no problem. 👍
@Meemomeemaw
21 күн бұрын
Not me crying while i watch my marriage crumble because of this
@consciousobserver629
21 күн бұрын
Do you feel like your husband would watch this with you? It's so hard to break through all the walls at first... Men (and both sides really) often get defensive when issues are brought up. That can be so disheartening, frustrating, depressing, you name it. I hope and pray he softens to the reality or your situation and that things begin to change.
@situpeutparlemoi
21 күн бұрын
My first bfs had me thinking I was maybe asexual with how little I wanted sex. But I have discovered that I am near insatiable when I'm in a healthy relationship. Now, it's like my partners and I have to make choices between sexy times and any number of whatever fun activities we wanna do that aren't sex. Fortunately, we often find ways to do both, and the joy that builds makes finding each other irresistible easy.
@ajregalia1334
20 күн бұрын
If I may ask, what does your current partner do now that your previous partner didn't?
@greener3922
20 күн бұрын
@@ajregalia1334 commenting to hear the response
@J.F611
20 күн бұрын
She said partners, plural @@ajregalia1334
@lily6246
19 күн бұрын
This!!❤
@isa-tb1wr
19 күн бұрын
Oh my gosh the same happened to me!
@adamwall7852
21 күн бұрын
I’m so glad your channel exists. I’m in a serious relationship and im proposing in the next 3-4 months. These shorts and videos are such amazing reminders to me that it is important to show continual effort! I always try get her flowers every other week, ask her how her day was and listen genuinely, tell her she’s so beautiful as much as I can, and try to do random things around her house to try to make her life easier. That’s what really works well for us:)
@rd6458
21 күн бұрын
Sounds like a lucky lady! :)
@jgp1294
21 күн бұрын
👌👏👏👏👏👏👏
@xdxdxdxd4575
20 күн бұрын
I am so jelous of her!!! Wish you a happy marriage! ☺️
@JLakis
20 күн бұрын
Don't forget talking! Just talk together. A lot. About whatever. That's the key to a long term relationship.
@greefo
20 күн бұрын
😂😂😂 she needs to do it as well though. I'm tired of the one sided marriage shit.
@eilamariesartre8823
20 күн бұрын
It's even worse if they criticize your efforts when you do try and say that you're not as enthusiastic about it and you're just trying the best you can when you're tired and they complain about every single things you do not being good enough.
@margauxtepartage
18 күн бұрын
This is abuse.... I feel for you...
@katrinat.3032
18 күн бұрын
I had a husband like that.
@LustStarrr
7 күн бұрын
Yep, that happened to me too. 😢
@char6081
5 күн бұрын
that’s not the man for u.. u deserve better
@UnexpectedSpanishInquisition
17 күн бұрын
Usually, it’s because the male becomes more and more childish as the relationship progresses and starts to treat his female partner like his substitute mommy and bangmaid. Normal, psychologically healthy women are not seggsually attracted to children, even when those children have the physical appearance and biological age of an adult male.
@sharicoburn5475
20 күн бұрын
Attention. Stress kills sex drive. Jobs are stressful kids are stressful running a house and family is stressful.
@Blind_Watcher
20 күн бұрын
Correction, certain forms and soruces of stress kill sex drives in certain people. There are also other forms of stress that heighten arousal.
@sharicoburn5475
20 күн бұрын
@@Blind_Watcher you are correct there are good forms of stress. But we know the forms of stress that I mentioned are not the good kind and people are dealing with these so we need to have kindness and compassion for our partners during times of stress.
@wendyduncan9084
18 күн бұрын
@@sharicoburn5475I believe sex helps with stress. It just has to be negotiated before you are both exhausted and resentful. I’m not always in the mood to cook but I like to eat. I’m not always in the mood for sex but I love being married and the great hormones that come from sex.
@sharicoburn5475
17 күн бұрын
@@wendyduncan9084 I totally agree and I'm a big fan of it myself. Lol But nobody should ever feel coerced into it if they really don't want to. That being said marriage is a relationship and sex is a big part of a relationship but there are seasons in life that it might be a little more difficult to have it as often.
@wendyduncan9084
17 күн бұрын
@@sharicoburn5475 I agree. I see a lot of people being busier than they need to be or can sustain. The thing they generally give up is being a couple. Not in so many words. Just actions.
@mastersway5134
21 күн бұрын
You, kind sir, are a very wise man!!!! Keep spreading that wisdom!!!!!!❤
@AlwaysonTayaTime
19 күн бұрын
Hugging and kissing without sex is required in a healthy, loving relationship. Sex is great when you're connected, but you should be able to touch each other without needing private time to scratch an itch.
@JimmyonRelationships
21 күн бұрын
#4 on instagram. Sorry, got cut off at 60 seconds :)
@Techier868
21 күн бұрын
So we are out of the luck if we don't have instagram?
@deltaflute03
21 күн бұрын
@@Techier868 #4 is you are a selfish lover. Basically using her and not making sure she is satisfied.
@Techier868
21 күн бұрын
@@deltaflute03 Thank you!!!
@jgp1294
21 күн бұрын
@@deltaflute03thank you!
@popemuffin7762
21 күн бұрын
Part 2 for those who don't use Instagram would be great! 😢
@N30NF43
21 күн бұрын
I’m not married, but I shall keep this knowledge just in case
@anoninii
21 күн бұрын
Off topic, can I just give praise to whoever is taking care of those beautiful, happy plants in your vids!!! The devotion and love you give them is obvious!
@susanmercurio1060
19 күн бұрын
I hate it when the man in my life comes over and puts his arms around me from behind right after we have had a huge argument. That's the LAST time I want to be sexually approached.
@popcornkindhearted3510
20 күн бұрын
It's #2 for me. He said he wouldn't pressure me but after a few weeks, he would tell me that he had waited for too long. Mind you that we only met once a week and it was stressful at work. Gradually, I just knew even after he said he would wait, I would be worried about when he would complain again. So I just feel pressured to not feel pressured all the time.
@koellekind
17 күн бұрын
His advice might make sense for you to try then - have a fixed period of time when you both decide not to have sex. Good luck ❤😊
@nja1098
21 күн бұрын
you’ve done it again. I always look up your videos as I find your explanations being much simpler and easier to understand than all the other videos I’ve seen on KZitem.
@cbh2409
17 күн бұрын
#1 reason she's not in the mood= you disrespected her in the bedroom. She's hurt and doesn't want to be hurt again. Make sure she's respected in the bedroom. I could go into specifics of how women are disrespected in the bedroom, but a tiny bit of imagination of things asked to do, and you know exactly the acts i'm referring to.
@sheanaguthrie6021
15 күн бұрын
Disrespected everywhere but still expected sex
@nikolavojnovic6552
Күн бұрын
Assumption is the mother of every blunder. Go into the specifics, please.
@LynDewey
20 күн бұрын
You completely described what was happening with me without me even realizing it. My ex got upset because I wasn’t ‘in the mood’ and that led to so much pressure. And because any amount of touch led to her wanting more I ended up abstaining or feeling severely uncomfortable when we’re romantic in any way.
@handle1o1
21 күн бұрын
Number 1 is the main reason, once a person disconnects there is no longer a reason to seek out the other person.
@Blind_Watcher
20 күн бұрын
Saying no alot, will do that too. People as a whole, don't take rejection super well, and repeated rejection builds resentment. That's not to say you need to capitulate, only that it's important to actually talk about it rather than just stonewalling your partner and expecting them to extrapolate the factors involed.
@octfia85
20 күн бұрын
Emotionally connected is correct.. Mine won't touch me unless he wants some action; he doesn't believe in f*play so it's just another chore for me.
@harvestmoon_autumnsky
19 күн бұрын
One hundred percent. My husband loathes to be touched casually. He just expects me to open my legs and then complains when I'm not into it and just lie there. I'm like...please finish quickly. I just want this to be over.
@xdxdxdxd4575
12 күн бұрын
@@harvestmoon_autumnskyuhhh....
@sharangcool
21 күн бұрын
God dammit, this shit is addicting to watch. Hes so good at explaining relationships. Cant stop watching even if this advise is wasted on me :P
@nestofeebo
20 күн бұрын
Number 4 was life changing. Best advice by far.
@anythingbut...
20 күн бұрын
Yep, I also agree that a false advertisement is a mood killer.
@Lois-o1f
16 күн бұрын
😂😂
@Lois-o1f
16 күн бұрын
@@anythingbut...😂😂
@Maria-mz1qw
18 күн бұрын
Being critical and judgemental did it for me. I decided to stay at home when my daughter was born. My husband would come home and tell me why the house is not organized and why I didn't wash the dishes. Plus, I had post partum depression. We went to a therapist to help our relationship. My husband just kept saying why she was not washing the dishes. I got more depressed.
@neurodivergentpixi6736
20 күн бұрын
If you never stop treating them like you're still trying to win them, you'll never lose them.
@atp1483
20 күн бұрын
I really tried to be all these things for my partner and could never understand what I was doing wrong. Turns out she's dismissive avoidant and it's pretty normal for that attachment style to decrease sexual desire as emotional intimacy increases. 😔
@LiamLoves
13 күн бұрын
Fellas, it's 2024, if sex is still something you care about and "need" you gotta get it together.
@charliebearhugs
19 күн бұрын
Biggest tip is doing something to help her feel more connected without giving her the job of teaching you how do it. Do something obvious like plan alone time and then talk to her, ask her questions about her life, her week etc., then actually engage in back and forth conversation instead of counting the minutes until you get back to your phone
@Opal5674
18 күн бұрын
I actually hate being askdd about my week or how work was. When you have a mundane job like most people do being asked about the workweek is just a reminder that your life is boring.
@TrollMan6977
6 күн бұрын
The man is always the bad guy 😂 its getting old and inaccurate
@emilyadams9986
19 күн бұрын
Reason #5: Sex creates more kids, birth control for uterus owners has side effects, and the penis owner in the relationship doesn't want to get a vasectomy, or use condoms (and condoms can rip anyway; I met a girl at summer camp whose mom told her, "you were born because of a torn condom").
@lissam8988
20 күн бұрын
When the wife is the only one cooking cleaning, taking care of the children, doing the errands helping with homework, and potentially working, you do lose the desire to be intimate.
@ffsno9078
21 күн бұрын
COVID. Me and mine were constantly lovey. Kisses hugs cuddles and a lot of sex. Then covid hit. And all that stopped. We became germaphobes, and are still having a hard time, like a real problem with touching and kissing and anything that involves fluids. It's happening to both of us.
@lily6246
19 күн бұрын
🤯 I'm so sorry for you both.. that must be weird
@pmargarita
19 күн бұрын
Omg yes! After I had my twins, my sexual appetite just completely vanished. I’ve explained to my husband that I have been feeling touched out and he said he understood, but he’ll only give me like a day or two and will try to be intimate. I just want to relax at the end of the day and I don’t think he understands that 😢 definitely a tough situation to be in
@kaydenl6836
15 күн бұрын
That’s bc his idea of relaxing IS sex. He just wants intimacy in a way he can ONLY get from you (unless yall have an open relationship)
@xuyahfish
21 күн бұрын
My husband does not like PDA & he considers our boys as "public". 🤨 So a quick hug is all I can get & he pushes me away if I try to kiss him or hold him.😥
@nazmeerahassan
14 күн бұрын
Why do people do this? Is it because they are not comfortable being affectionate in public ?
@genevieveohara5360
3 күн бұрын
@@nazmeerahassanmaybe they didn't grow up with it so they find it much
@tawnyew
21 күн бұрын
#4 you may be a selfish lover. I'm a giver and my partner used to be but got complacent" as well. I'm probably not the only one who wants intimacy to be reciprocated. I bet many partners not "getting any" might not give any
@floormee
21 күн бұрын
My immediate thought is if I were to suggest in my hypothetical relationship to take a sexual intimacy break he might feel threatened by this, like it’s a huge red flag I stead of an opportunity to reconnect.
@ajregalia1334
21 күн бұрын
Hypothetical relationship? Are you in one or...
@floormee
20 күн бұрын
@@ajregalia1334 nope, but I’m imagining saying that to people I’ve dated in the past where that could have been beneficial, and it would have further heightened their anxiety and insecurity had I done that at the time. Then again they’re exes for a reason.
@ajregalia1334
20 күн бұрын
@@floormee Can I ask why you feel it may have been beneficial? Were they of the mindset of sex being a major form of intimacy and validation where for you it either wasn't or other areas of intimacy felt lacking/pressuring due to an expectation of sex to follow?
@kaelinmichelesansi
21 күн бұрын
Yes! And id add that it's so beneficial to know where she is in her cycle because certain times of the month (luteal phase) she is hormonally different from the ovulation (high shmex drive time) .
@xdxdxdxd4575
20 күн бұрын
Not every woman like that. I could do it all day, every day...
@xdxdxdxd4575
20 күн бұрын
Not every woman like that. I could do it all day, every day...
@ninanano2777
15 күн бұрын
Been there - my ex tried it by preparing lots of candles and roses etc, but this didn't feel romantic but pressuring me the most. It was also kinda manipulative because we had so many issues that needed to be addressed first and he thought some s*x will everything make better. Unfortunately even the s*x wasn't fun but painful. Now to everyone here: yes I did communicate that in the past. He thought of me as his wifey who does all the housework and doing her marriage duties, nothing romantic about it. We weren't married and I'm happy I got out of this situation. When I broke up his major concern was not having s*x anymore on a regular basis
@misterhot9163
20 күн бұрын
If she saw her husband scrubbing a toilet, she’ll be in the mood right quick ☔️
@davidnash8208
20 күн бұрын
Transactional sex.
@kateb3lle
19 күн бұрын
why is this on my feed... I'm a 17-year-old virgin
@Opal5674
19 күн бұрын
I wish things like this had been available to me when I was a 17 year old virgin.
@kateb3lle
19 күн бұрын
@@Opal5674 wait that’s actually so true haha! Thanks for the insight :)
@Beloved_rosie
19 күн бұрын
Relatable as another 17yr old virgin 😭
@susanmercurio1060
19 күн бұрын
Take notes. You'll need this information later.
@lindadaheim3412
21 күн бұрын
Yeah, you wish. All I got was humiliation, insults, pressure and r...e. No wander I am no longer in the bedroom stuff at all.
@anatoliy.t
20 күн бұрын
Feels oddly familiar, but in my case genders are reversed
@najakrajnc9205
18 күн бұрын
I keep trying to explain all this but he wont listen... What do i do
@gwynaras6554
20 күн бұрын
I hope men are listening to you as well as women.
@e11ep
21 күн бұрын
I am going against the grain here. I do want to be intimate, and he does not. No intimacy. So, I'm praying I become am asexual worm too.
@christinajose285
21 күн бұрын
You will after years of none you just won't want any intimacy anymore. But it doesn't feel good you can feel your lying to yourself that your just dead inside.
@xdxdxdxd4575
20 күн бұрын
Uhhh saaame boat....
@joannaszczepanska8852
19 күн бұрын
We are emotionally connected but I'm so tired from stress and all things going on that I just need cuddle ❤ and it's ok, my husband understand it❤
@TheCreativeDork5
21 күн бұрын
That was only three not four
@queer_unicorn
20 күн бұрын
It's part of a longer video
@PinkStrawberries11
20 күн бұрын
#2 is such a f*ckboy loophole. They act like they care and say all the sweet things and even hold off... Get what they're in for then poof, gone.
@kimfry4019
20 күн бұрын
4 is life changing, if I only knew what it was again lol
@paulam3988
20 күн бұрын
When child #4 has recently been diagnosed as neurodiverse and you say you cannot relate to the anxiety and depression that goes with it and then walks away. Yeah I feel really attracted to you. This has been so insanely stressful.
@jennifergraham3752
20 күн бұрын
I’m so sorry. That is an incredibly stressful situation made worse by feeling that you don’t have the understanding and support from the person who should be your partner. 😢
@conniewojahn6445
20 күн бұрын
If my ex spouse did this, he'd still be married.
@dusklvr
19 күн бұрын
Cuddles are way more intimate than sex and most women just want to be cuddled and not have it turn into sex
@brandyblackmon235
21 күн бұрын
This is spot on I should definitely show this to my husband
@ValeryThamm
20 күн бұрын
Dear God tHANK YOU for putting this out there!!!!!!
@jossjwable
3 күн бұрын
❤❤❤❤Menopause is another can start at around 35 years old! It happened to me a little bit later. It’s a biggy ❤❤❤❤ the partner or kids will notice first!
@raetimothy935
21 күн бұрын
I would also like to add that I have an emotionally draining job and some health conditions that make me physically uncomfortable. Luckily I have a lovely guy that I can still be silly and affectionate with. Who understands!
@jakelowry6448
6 күн бұрын
How about people just man up and either stay with the person or move on. All these damn mind games. It’s really simple for as complex as it seems. Either shit or get off the pot. Everyone wants everyone to take care of everyone’s emotions. Damn, chill, have a cigarette or a beer (glass of wine) and chill the hell out. Don’t be so emotional. Sink or swim? Nah, you’re really overthinking if your drowning in 2 inches of water. It’s not that deep.
@SENSEF
20 күн бұрын
Wait... what's #4?! 🤔
@SENSEF
20 күн бұрын
Nevermind, found Jimmy's comment. Thanks, Jimmy!
@girlnabox1349
17 күн бұрын
Anyone else think this guy is AMAZING? Like... can you just call my husband please 😂
@bellamee2775
9 күн бұрын
He said he likes it if I initiate. I tried for a couple of months and get rejected every time. So I gave up. He always tries to initiate when I'm busy. It's so annoying.
@Kaalokalawaia
20 күн бұрын
6# not mentioned peri/menopause. It can kill your drive. It sucks.
@hailleyburton6329
18 күн бұрын
So... is it the same in reverse? We've been having this fight for oh, around 15 out of our 18 years, and it's me fighting for it. He swears that he would do it any time i want, but I say if that was the case, we would have never had a fight in our entire relationship. My issue is also, even if that is the case, I don't want it if I'm the only one initiating for a few minutes of wham, bam, not so thank you ma'am and then done because when he's done, we're done. For 18 years. I may have been initiated a handful of times. Every other time, I have had to initiate. Add to that, there is an expectation on his end to "pre heat the oven" even though with him, it isn't even necessary, but I can count on one hand how many times it's happened to me in those 18 years. Honestly, I'm pretty sure I'd still have fingers leftover too.
@kaboomsihal1164
20 күн бұрын
No 5 she has other shit going on in life. She's stressed from work or has some trouble with a friend or her back pain has been playing up or whatever and she's just not feeling like it. Also so many guys don't seem to realise when it comes to the "pressure" part that it's not just about asking too often. Long before you reach the point where you need to agree to take sex off the table for a while, if you are permanently horny for her then that super quickly becomes the only response she gets. You might think you don't really ask her that much and if she says no you never take it badly but if you take every act of intimacy as an invitation and act like she is leading you on if she just wants some closeness without sex then she won't want either anymore.
@AA-Wilson
20 күн бұрын
I just love his knowledge and insight and support. Yes, support!! Lol 😆❤ thank you so much...
@Shortlongshoelace
20 күн бұрын
everytime i watch Jimmy’s stuff it just makes things really clear, this stuff is so helpful to know, it feels like a lot of important little things about relationships are almost treated as taboo to be open about, i haven’t heard anybody i know really talk about this stuff, even when they are so important to maintaining a happy bond with your other person, maybe it’s just most people really don’t consider that sort of stuff, anyways your videos are great man!
@carnevalmefisto
14 күн бұрын
5. When a partner is a terrible lover, the libido falls from the hill and when it finally hits the ground, it digs an even deeper hole. Simply sometimes men are so selfish in their pleasure, boring, ...or end so fast, that sex becomes a chore (yes, women are guilty of being a dead fish, but in fact, it's not only them). Woman agrees to do naughty stuff with their partner because they still love their man. Suggestions "try this or that" don't always work. At some point, women just prefer to drop that chore, because they lack desire and are dry as Sahara dessert. I was surprised how my libido was dying out with my ex. I used to initiate intimacy (basically every time we saw each other), but the quality was just terrible (I thought it was a matter of getting used to each other and I was fine with him being clumsy/bad or uninvested in suggestions as if it was kinda offending him). My willingness to have intimacy with him fell off the window. I had to use tons of lubricants because no matter what was happening before the penetration, it was very, very DRY.
@xdxdxdxd4575
12 күн бұрын
Uhhh whish more men could "hear" you...!
@hmmpicgirl
21 күн бұрын
He said there were 4 but only said 3. Anyone have an idea of what he might say?
@ajregalia1334
21 күн бұрын
It's on instagram, and it was being a selfish lover
@kathleenm.5919
21 күн бұрын
Amen 🙌🏻
@lordhigheverythingelse8127
20 күн бұрын
4?
@BH-kw8rh
20 күн бұрын
This is so accurate and validating, thank you 🙏
@FeliciaPelto
20 күн бұрын
What’s number 4? Did I miss something? Lol😅
@hache9626
18 күн бұрын
Yep, number 2 is what killed my last relationship. I started to feel like I couldn't initiate a kiss or a hug, or just cuddle, because my partner always wanted to take things further and I didn't sometimes. Even when I tolf her I wasn't in the mood and she didn't say anything about it, she would always find a way to make me feel guilty. So I stopped all physical contact just to avoid that feeling. I didn't do it on purpose, I just... didn't feel safe enough to initiate intimacy anymore, and I told her so. But she only cared about her own needs, so she told me that what she demanded was the bare minimum and convinced me that I wasn't ready for a relationship, that no one would love me. Thank God I sought counceling and my therapist made me realize that she was pressuring me lmao
@elliephantom
20 күн бұрын
women also go through rises and declines in their sexual urges. if a woman is in decline, it may not be something a guy has done, but hormone levels. its common for women to dip down for even months, and then be rip raring to go another time. some women only really get in the mood during that time of the month, and thats due to hormone levels fluctuating, and the wonderful side effect of sex helping cramps, but more often than not men will turn the woman down during that time because of fear of pregnancy, or even just due to the mess. theres many reasons a woman might not want to be intimate, and while these are all valid reasons, they aren't the only ones.
@lily6246
19 күн бұрын
🙌
@vw7887
19 күн бұрын
👀 apparently these issues are very generic... On the argue case 😂 work life balance is the killer I've observed.
@jerryvangoor792
20 күн бұрын
If she wants, she chooses it regardless of circumstances and emotional feelings. The consequence of not wanting is to no longer feel emotionally connected. So choose to no longer feel emotionally connected and let go. When she then starts looking for someone else, you will see that she wants it regardless of circumstances. But if she stays with you, then you get used to it and you are not attached to materialistic desires. Then you will be happier.
@krazyunlimited9528
20 күн бұрын
Also I've been pressured to do something I'm not comfortable with.no.2 .and he doesn't agree.He says I have to keep doing it anyway.And wonders why I'm not initiating or WANT to.Ive told him this showed him this and continues to pressure
@schizo_fren
20 күн бұрын
then break up, if after so many talks he thinks his desire is more important than your feelings, then there's rly nothing to fix... if he was in the same boat as you, he would understand
@dawnkindnesscountsmost5991
8 күн бұрын
There are only three reasons mentioned, Jimmy. What’s the fourth? Reasons mentioned: 1) lack of emotional connection 2) feeling pressured 3) exhaustion 4) ? what did I miss?
@edwo6648
6 күн бұрын
Like his advice, he's an idiot
@debragrimm2253
11 сағат бұрын
If my ex had implemented even one of these... We might still be married.
@kuchhbhi7050
20 күн бұрын
When responsibilities increase, everyone needs help in calming down..if partners help each other in calming and relaxing during the night it may improve their connection withe each other.
@cathya6812
20 күн бұрын
Complacency and pressure do kill desire!
@m.h.8084
21 күн бұрын
And what's #4? My video cuts off at 3 (she's exhausted, chores)
@Daniel-bn5rn
Күн бұрын
It's amazing how the more "rights" and luxuries people get in our modern culture the harder it is to make things work out.
@nikolavojnovic6552
Күн бұрын
Absolutely true.
@liz.the.libra8
19 күн бұрын
Finally!!! Someone who gets it! 👏🗝
@That_BIack_Cat
21 күн бұрын
Thank you for saying this ♀️💙.
@LynDewey
20 күн бұрын
You completely described what was happening with me without me even realizing it. My ex got upset because I wasn’t ‘in the mood’ and that led to so much pressure. And because any amount of touch led to her wanting more I ended up abstaining or feeling severely uncomfortable when we’re romantic in any way.
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