Haarlem is only 15 minutes from Amsterdam but it has roughly 95% less messy tourists soiling themselves while high on mushrooms and throwing up in its medieval gutters, so if you like to keep your shoes clean, Haarlem is ideal.
It was originally settled by a primitive form of Swamp Peoples (homo soggysockian) who are now sadly extinct, hunted to extinction by the Big Hill Peoples of Two Metre Mountain during the ancient Bog Battles of Clogtown.
In this episode we'll learn a little (very little) about Sint Bavo, Haarlem's baddest boy, and we'll learn even less about the beer brewing shenanigans of the Middle Ages.
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this isn't the top 10 things to do in haarlem
this isn't the history of haarlem
this isn't the best sights to see in haarlem
this is the shite guide to haarlem
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