Helping adult children sometimes is right, enabling dangerous behavior never is.
@JonyRotten
Жыл бұрын
Well put
@Jenn_80
Жыл бұрын
Well said!
@profit822
Жыл бұрын
Don't bail the two adults out. You have four other kids that will get jealous and learn nothing.
@genxx2724
Жыл бұрын
I completely agree. But it will cause resentment rather than jealousy.
@SRTBOAT
Жыл бұрын
That's not always accurate... I got into legal trouble at 19 and my parents bailed me out. I made a complete 180 because it scared me half to death. I saw my future burn in front of me. My siblings watched and learned, and they've been perfect ever since my ordeal happened. My parents bailing me out gave me a second chance financially.
@sami-9233
Жыл бұрын
🎯
@RaleighLink
Жыл бұрын
Let your kids face the consequences of their own actions. By bailing them out you're creating children who will have ZERO accountability.
@offerskirksey2255
Жыл бұрын
Sell the kids.
@angel-ij4xv
Жыл бұрын
they will run back to mom for more money
@Jenn_80
Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂 thanks, i needed that laugh 😂😂🤣
@Erica-wz8yv
Жыл бұрын
Haha 😂
@deletion8244
Жыл бұрын
😂🤣💀
@qkwjz
Жыл бұрын
for food!
@JaneDough23
Жыл бұрын
Wish Dave had asked how many times has she bailed them out of trouble before.
@Ja50nkAt
Жыл бұрын
At 31 you should know better than be driving without insurance, don't help.
@mfbikle
Жыл бұрын
They knew they could fall back on Ma & Pa... I knew I couldn't, I understood boundaries and responsibilities at 18..
@genxx2724
Жыл бұрын
Exactly. I never felt my parents had extra money to throw around, so I was careful. It actually hurt my confidence and made me very cautious and fearful about money,
@karenabrams8986
Жыл бұрын
People learn through failure. Do not get in the way of someone’s education.
@jesuslovesyou916
Жыл бұрын
I am a parent and to each its own, but I would have to turn my back on my adult children if they willfully choose to commit crimes that cause them to feel the consequence afterwards. Oftentimes when we keep saving someone (including our offspring) without letting them feel the consequences, you become an enabler.
@SpoonHurler
Жыл бұрын
If it were my nieces I'm with Dave and I want them to feel the pain for a good bit before I even consider helping them... but if that pain cause them to want to fix the situation and never get back into it I'm always there.
@costco_pizza
Жыл бұрын
You NEVER turn your back on your family. No matter what. It doesn’t matter what your children do, you HAVE to help them.
@Doc1855
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely. I completely agree with you
@linuxsurfer2002
Жыл бұрын
@@costco_pizza You'd be turning your back on your family by enabling their irresponsible behavior.
@33ladyRAM
Жыл бұрын
I concur
@bodereiss
Жыл бұрын
Mom made excuses for the kids the whole time. Terms like “it’s understandable” etc. Time for her to look in mirror as well.
@quixomega
Жыл бұрын
Honestly, the 31 year old won't learn if you give her money now. Driving around without insurance? Come on.
@Petruskinhap972
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely not!! I would assist if adult child was ill, just leaving a bad marriage, job loss…. But misbehaving??? You’re basically rewarding them for their bad choices and giving the younger kids the map to do the same.
@nycdweller
Жыл бұрын
I once borrowed $20 from my Dad and paid back the $20 the next day. That is right, twenty dollars because I couldn’t make it to the bank that day.
@ccsmith2937
Жыл бұрын
Why do parents continue to buffer their kids from consequences. It just makes lessons harder to learn later. These are adults, let them figure it out on their own. 💡🔥👊👍
@VictorianMaid99
3 ай бұрын
Because we love them?
@jet4415
Жыл бұрын
Wow, no insurance and behind on car payment. Leave him/her be and let them suffer the consequences.
@VictorianMaid99
3 ай бұрын
We daughter is in the same predicament.
@mmoye8640
Жыл бұрын
This really helped me too. We have a college student at home that will be 20 this year. I know we need to talk about putting things in his name too. He's working. This may be a good time to do it.
@cutehumor
Жыл бұрын
the caller's adult kids are idiots. 21-year-old with a misdemeanor with 5k damages and a 31-year-old who got into a wreck with no car insurance are dregs on society. This is behavior and irresponsible problems.
@jimmymcgill6778
Жыл бұрын
You do not know what happened with the twenty one year old.
@AlecArtComics
Жыл бұрын
Yes. You are and have always been perfect right?
@charlesg7926
Жыл бұрын
I’m guessing the kids are black lol. Only h 0ez say “blended family” lol
@cutehumor
Жыл бұрын
@@AlecArtComics I have never been arrested and I am 45 years old
@10RRASK
Жыл бұрын
@@AlecArtComics if making it through my 20s without being arrested and having to pay restitution means I’m perfect, then yes, I guess I am perfect 🤗
@richricogranada9647
Жыл бұрын
It takes lots of courage to be part of a blend family. NO, THANK YOU!
@ruthirwin8222
Жыл бұрын
More marriages fail 2nd and third time
@donnafontaine2799
Жыл бұрын
Agree with you totally
@nikkisigmon8090
Жыл бұрын
Uh, its the kid's restitution. Kid get to pay it. Restitution is not just to help the victims, but also to teach consequences to the criminal.
@karlabritfeld7104
Жыл бұрын
Parents are coddling their children right into so- called adulthood. Such heros.
@fenomfangx
10 ай бұрын
She's been bailing this kids out all their lives and it shows. Both these ADULTS did illegal things, NEVER pay for someone else's crime.
@vivr662
Жыл бұрын
I no longer feel I am responsible to help out my adult child. I have advised him to become debt free and have his own emergency fund. I have advised him about the Dave Ramsey show. I have talked to him about our own journey to financial freedom. If he chooses not to take the advice and ends up in trouble then I do not think I should risk my own security to bail him out.
@WeeHooLIVE
Жыл бұрын
Perfectly said!
@FrankS111
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely not. They need to feel the pain and consequences of their mistakes. That’s why the country is dying. People keep getting bailed out and not facing the consequences of their poor decisions.
@maximustrolleus9860
Жыл бұрын
But i believe everyone deserves a second chance and everyone makes mistakes. I would help if this was a one time thing. If its a recurring thing, then thats a different story
@FrankS111
Жыл бұрын
@@maximustrolleus9860 I HIGHLY doubt this is out of the norm. You aren’t a responsible person then suddenly not pay your bills or commit crimes.
@BrezzyBoi33
Жыл бұрын
No one and I mean no one got bailed out more than the boomers
@maximustrolleus9860
Жыл бұрын
@@FrankS111 well i dont know her life story. 21 is really young and naive. I was always responsible but ive seen ppl make really bad decisions that they regret and are grateful that their parents bailed them out. The brain doesnt fully develop until 25-26 anyways. It is a parents job to keep their kids out of prison
@FrankS111
Жыл бұрын
@@BrezzyBoi33 the boomers utterly ruined this country I agree.
@zybard01
Жыл бұрын
In Arizona, you dont pay insurance and they report you to DMV and your vehicle registration/car tags gets suspended. but "behind" on car payments and no insurance, she is begging to have car repo-ed. She needs some pain. Only bailout i would give her is buying her a $4k "dave car" but only after she cleans up the current mess without financial assistance
@jimroscovius
Жыл бұрын
No, you should not. They need to grow up and take care of themselves. You can help, as long as they do the most of it. If you can afford it, you could match what they do. They need to face the consequences of their actions.
@coolaunt516
Жыл бұрын
Dave's smile at 3:44 lol.
@DNaupari
Жыл бұрын
So stinkin sweet: grandpa smiling thinking of his sweet baby girl rescuing his grand babies 😊
@MexicanTeTe
Жыл бұрын
Throw the kids away. They made the decision to commit crimes. They made the decision to not insure their own vehicle and then total it. The daughter with the uninsured vehicle would have lost her car regardless of getting into an accident because a financed car will be repossessed if your don't maintain the insurance on it. Both kids should have to negotiate their own repayment plans with the parties they owe money to. Mom should stay out of it and let them truly feel the consequences for their poor life choices.
@genxx2724
Жыл бұрын
The 31-year-old is lucky she didn’t injure anyone, driving without insurance, and apparently carelessly.
@danclapper626
Жыл бұрын
People learn when it hurts or they have to pay. Let them bathe in it.
@TheDjcarter1966
Жыл бұрын
The court will put the 21 year old on a payment plan and that would be fine with me, I might pay a few hundred bucks to a lawyer to make sure it is some kind of deferred adjudication or post conviction expungement after restitution is in play. How are you 31 and can't make your car payment and insurance? If they have another car tough if not I'm not sure what you could do to help...how would they pay for insurance on another car? Plus the only reason not having insurance would make a difference is if it's your fault or was single car which either way means they were careless...
@OopThereItIs77777
Жыл бұрын
If all of her kids have these issues, she failed them somewhere & somehow. This doesn’t just happen. Children are & grow up to be a product of their environment…
@SnifferSock
Жыл бұрын
She didn't say the 17 year old twins messed up... yet.
@nathanenns7186
Жыл бұрын
@@SnifferSock she did say all of them have requested help at one point or another
@OopThereItIs77777
Жыл бұрын
@@SnifferSock Either way. It’s 50/50. That’s a mess
@Wayrose23896
Жыл бұрын
I wouldn’t just blame her where is their father?
@StefanieLegacy
Жыл бұрын
Parents can only help so much and so far. At some point as adults we need to take responsibility for our actions.
@janelleg597
Жыл бұрын
for God's sake, the 21yo is a freaking adult. let her reap what has she has sown. Learn now, or learn later
@maximustrolleus9860
Жыл бұрын
Ppl arent full adults until 25-26. Shes only 21 and that is very young and naive. Maybe it was a one time mistake
@mattmasteringer4399
Жыл бұрын
Blame the parents for raising spoiled grown people. I have been independent since I was 18 and more matured and successfully than all her kids. Blame the parents.
@adventureaviator9702
Жыл бұрын
Wrong. Too many people use their environment and society as an excuse for their failures. What happened to taking personal responsibility for your actions?
@arthrodea
7 ай бұрын
If all FOUR kids are running into financial messes - there is something wrong with how they were raised.
@Nick-gk6hj
Жыл бұрын
This is an easy one, my parents said up front, don't call me from jail, and can't afford your car? Bus pass is cheap. NEXT!
@VictorianMaid99
3 ай бұрын
Bus and trains are dicy now days.
@myrrhavm
Жыл бұрын
If the kid doesn’t pay her OWN restitution. Does she really pay the price for HER crime? I have two adult kids myself. They’re on their own when it or if it comes to crime. If they can afford luxuries they don’t need my help. Done.
@joelmartinez2278
5 ай бұрын
Sometimes you have to learn the hard way
@janetcross2797
Жыл бұрын
Dave great answer
@6foot1
Жыл бұрын
First of all stop calling them children. Don’t ever give adults money that don’t earn it or can’t pay it back.
@jamisojo
5 ай бұрын
I want to borrow money to anyone for any reason. Not sure about your children comment? Reason?
@RaymondDawson-v2w
Ай бұрын
Lisa is the reason most people never grow into independent responsible decent. Her phone "what do I do" bs doesn't fool anymore. She paid the bill for every money draining act of stupidity the two daughters CONTINUE to engage in. They are irresponsible waste of space who knows mommy will come thru like the cavalry instead of making them suffer the consequences of their actions. They're never gonna improve if a bailout is guaranteed.
@joeriveracomedy
Жыл бұрын
🎵The youngest one in curls🎶
@jonboyfutch8081
Жыл бұрын
Also check the budget of the 31yr old and the 21yr old need a behavior check.
@jaqueitch
Жыл бұрын
These kids are trouble. Do NOT help them.
@Project-Masculinity
Жыл бұрын
Don’t give them fish, give them a fishing rod with instructions..
@tkdevlop
Жыл бұрын
money with string attached?
@mattschmitt9924
Жыл бұрын
@@tkdevlop instructions and parenting with love attached
@susanedghill609
Жыл бұрын
@@tkdevlop ..or money on the end of the fishing rod 🤣
@sherriemyles2776
Жыл бұрын
Thats their responsibility. I wouldn't give them money.
@victorbaird8220
Жыл бұрын
Never bail them out
@uminchu59
Жыл бұрын
I am a fellow complete failure as a parent. To save a lot of heartache and frustration I recommend they admit defeat and give both children the financial boot. These kids know everything by these ages and there is no chance of recovering what you effed up even (and especially) if you tell them where you went wrong and try to correct yourself.
@johannesswillery7855
Жыл бұрын
There was a point that I had to tell my son a hard truth. I love him enough to let him live under a bridge if that is the life he chose.
@raulayala7572
Жыл бұрын
I've made some dumb money moves myself, and my Dad has bailed me out several times. I'm not proud of it, and I admit to him that I don't feel good about it. But many times he insists and won't let me deny his help.
@marydiamond7099
Жыл бұрын
I never, ever asked my parents for money. If I had a problem, I took what I did to figure it out
@adamr.kalucki4347
Жыл бұрын
Driving without car insuranceeeeee Whatttttttt I mean it’s one thing to be behind on your car payments but no insurance and you’re behind the wheel and got into an accident sheeeeeshhhhh
@noemisolisrivas6324
Жыл бұрын
Never bail anyone out, until they have been charged. You are throwing your money away. Besides, those few days incustody might actually, give them a wake up call. Don't loose your property or income over this.. Protect the Land that God has given you. You can also protect your children or loved one in Prayer. Not in fear... In Prayer... When you surrender (truly surrender) your kids/family to the Lord. Watch what happens. 🙌🏼
@David-wo9un
Жыл бұрын
I loved watching Dave’s expression while Rachel was talking.😂😂
@richricogranada9647
Жыл бұрын
She is his mini wife, his favorite offspring.
@chasecardiff7741
Жыл бұрын
@@richricogranada9647 Creep
@DoctorSmartyPants
Жыл бұрын
Because she was way off. Wow this show will die when Dave retires.
@Joey-Cameltoe
Жыл бұрын
Hasn't bad parenting resulted in this?
@Rashaadthegr8
Жыл бұрын
Never date someone with baby daddies or mommas if you have no kids.
@ScreamTatumRiley
Жыл бұрын
I won’t thanks
@Rashaadthegr8
Жыл бұрын
@@ScreamTatumRiley lol
@WeeHooLIVE
Жыл бұрын
I've heard that one before
@georgewagner7787
Жыл бұрын
How is it understandable? My parents dropped me off at college at 17 and I started part time jobs included housecleaning. They gave me a little money senior year but that's it. My own apartment at 21 and a full time job. They loaned me half for my first car and I paid it right back
@marcenelj
Жыл бұрын
These kids are running wild
@sandiweidler8862
Жыл бұрын
This is wild!!! I have six kids. My oldest one is 31 with three children and my youngest are identical, twins that are graduating high school this year as well!!!! Cool
@probablynot1368
Жыл бұрын
If she’s continually bailed out the 31-year-old, then this is the point to cut her off, as she’s been trained to lean on mom. Live and learn, and deal with the consequences. I would take a closer look at the 21-year-old and have a come-to-Jesus meeting regarding her choices in life. Was this a one-up, impulsive decision she got caught in, leading to misdemeanor charges, or was this continual behavior that she finally got caught at and is now facing serious charges? Restitution? Hmmm….she damaged, destroyed, or stole something. I’d be agreeable to provide ‘help’ with a signed agreement, listing steps the 21-year-old will take as part of atonement, perhaps to include a summer job to repay mom - that is, if her summer isn’t filled up with picking up trash on weekends as her community service requirement for her ‘crime’.
@genxx2724
Жыл бұрын
Exactly. She has to be the one who pays for it, although she cannot do so up front. Or perhaps she should have to work and pay the victim off in dribs and drabs until she’s finished. Not good for parents to make it clean.
@adamseidel9780
Жыл бұрын
The 21 year old already had a come to Jesus meeting, it was just handed down by a judge
@fhuber7507
Жыл бұрын
In neither of those cases would I bail them out. 30+ and failing their car payments and failihg their insurance payments.... that's all on her when she wrecks her car. 21 doing criminal is going to deal with the mess they made.
@JahAmericanNY
Жыл бұрын
Dave: Sell both kids 😂😂😂
@annt2685
Жыл бұрын
Schools getting more taxing?? Is that what mom said?? Maybe she shouldn’t be out getting into trouble,then maybe it wouldn’t be so “taxing”Just a thought.
@ykciR
Жыл бұрын
Kids are a mess! the parents did and are doing a horrible job.
@untouchable360x
Жыл бұрын
Easiest solution. Disown them.
@amydoran9987
Жыл бұрын
31 and 21 years old, they should be able to stand on their own.She was not overly fourth coming, there was a lot of hesitation.
@genxx2724
Жыл бұрын
There may be confidentiality issues if there’s a pending criminal matter. But there was a ton of hedging at the beginning, and it sounded as if it was going to be about her step-kids, not her own.
@Mr_D555
Жыл бұрын
Time to play the tough love card on the 31 year old, the 21 year old still in school gets "some" help along with the hammer coming down hard.
@scottgiles3053
Жыл бұрын
Her kids need to learn how to be adults, and just tossing money around to make the problems go away will do nothing to resolve their behavior, and future problems will be more likely to follow. Maybe I would match whatever they put toward payments if they showed me they were making better decisions with their lives, but just bailing them both out...no way.
@jessicabrittany1682
Жыл бұрын
Guessing the parents have stepped in and bailed them out majorly before. Both of these are pretty extreme (ie - not their first stupid mistake). I wouldn't financially help either out. I would support them and help them figure out how to make it right, but I wouldn't give them any money
@MrBgrant82
Жыл бұрын
Thank you Dave !!!!!!!!!!¡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@USViper
3 ай бұрын
Diamonds need PRESSURE and HEAT to become hard and valuable.
@jonquindiagan682
Жыл бұрын
Keep up the good work!
@John-du2mq
Жыл бұрын
They are both adults and need to live with their poor decisions. Tell them you can be supportive after the fact but whatever happens now is part for the course.
@patty109109
Жыл бұрын
Hahahaha at 2:26 he looks at his daughter so she can answer !!
@johannesswillery7855
Жыл бұрын
Mom and dad need to leave their money to charity because the kids will spend it on fentanyl.
@myyt3824
Жыл бұрын
Not an effing chance. That’s a crime. DO. NOT. BAIL. HER. OUT. These are called consequences of your own stupid actions.
@nancysmith2874
Жыл бұрын
The information is too vague
@chadfeathers3001
3 ай бұрын
I asked my father 40 years ago. Can I get on your insurance. He said. I worked 40 years to get cheap insurance, you're not gonna F*@K it up in a weekend. Best words of wisdom I ever had. Love you Dad.
@cccccccc98428
Жыл бұрын
What hair products does she use? Her hair is so gorgeous and zero frizz.
@robaustin3258
Жыл бұрын
So glad I’m not a parent…. Thank you God.
@garrettholtz8379
Жыл бұрын
Why is Dave so nice today? Is it because he doesn't want to contradict his daughter who is obviously wrong?
@genxx2724
Жыл бұрын
Rachel has young children. We needed to hear from a solid mature adult.
@Simpleharmonica
Жыл бұрын
Because the grown children who messed up are women. If they were grown sons, they would call them idiots and that they need to grow up
@leahmcdermott4189
Жыл бұрын
That’s your opinion, as I agree and stand with Rachel. How is she wrong? Some of y’all are so strict, harsh and unloving, it’s no wonder your kids end up hating you. I’m not saying what they did was right but I’d think twice about the relationship you’re trying to foster before completely cutting your kids off in their time of need. Sometimes, they need support and guidance, not criticism and bashing 🥺
@bigbanknewyork3655
Жыл бұрын
I'm not bailing a kid out of jail.
@muxi0121
Жыл бұрын
Does Dave consider employing and creating a career for your children as helping them?
@WeeHooLIVE
Жыл бұрын
You MUST be trolling!
@lyndaslocs
Жыл бұрын
I would lend the money to the college junior and insist that she pays me back.
@Wayrose23896
Жыл бұрын
Things out of their control I say help your kids but if they’re getting into trouble making bad decisions they’re on their own…only help people who are helping themselves they are grown.
@kennymartin379
Жыл бұрын
If they pay u back otherwise no
@TheSnoozeFox
Жыл бұрын
As soon as I heard Jacksonville I knew it was going to be crazy 😂
@sami-9233
Жыл бұрын
Hello Prejudice
@genxx2724
Жыл бұрын
What is Jacksonville like? I’m on the other side of the country.
@donnafontaine2799
Жыл бұрын
@GenX X I'm wondering too what's Jacksonville Florida like? I'm in Boston area
@TheSnoozeFox
Жыл бұрын
@@sami-9233 Yes and?
@TJsVette
Жыл бұрын
Help but demand they pay it back.
@Doc1855
Жыл бұрын
Everyone needs help once or twice during our lifetime as adults. During those times, we should be able to borrow from our parents. But to enable a grown child is stupidity. Adults must learn how to fail because, learn from their mistakes and GROW UP !!!
@alangordon3283
Жыл бұрын
No.
@DoctorSmartyPants
Жыл бұрын
Rachael, horrible response. Dave, spot on. I was getting really frustrated listening to Rachel babble. Thank god Dave stepped in.
@grappler240
Жыл бұрын
I just work incredibly hard to NOT see them in such a snag by teaching them.
@topsykretts2264
Жыл бұрын
Kids brain don’t fully develop until they’re 25 so even though the 21 year old is being dumb, they’re still a kid so I would have more grace but still being critical
@Winnie-Kay
Жыл бұрын
I told each of my children they have one get out of jail free card. So far, thank Jesus, none have used their card.
@markburnham7512
Жыл бұрын
Teaching moments.
@Doc1855
Жыл бұрын
What you sow, so shall you reap. There are always consequences for ALL behaviors, Good or Bad
@dohnjoe735
2 ай бұрын
One thing they didn't discuss was how she and her husband should address this together.. He's prob upset that their money is going to her kids..
@kathryncashner3294
6 ай бұрын
21 year old got into legal trouble that is going to cost her 5K. We don't know what she did, but we are told multiple times that she is a junior in college. 21 and completed 2 years of college should be old enough to understand good behavior from bad. This is NOT a "bail it out" situation. This is a "well, you'll need to get a job (or another job) until you can make this right. If that means you need to drop out of school for a semester while you earn enough to pay the restitution, that's just too bad. Maybe your emotions during that semester off will help you grow up! This kid will learn nothing if mommy bails her out, and it appears she knew nothing before. 31 year old ruined car that she hadn't made payments on or paid insurance...Again, guess she needs another job so she can catch up on those payments while driving a $1000 clunker. And caller is a Dave fan, maybe daughter needs a trip thru Financial Peace till she learns how to budget to be able to pay for her stuff. Fortunately, there was no mention of her seriously injuring or killing another person. So yeah, in her case, maybe I'd supply her with that $1K clunker in her name so she has transportation to work...and can get on with paying off her debts. Caller said she isn't rich, and what resources she has should be going to their not yet adult kids.
@kellyinfanger9192
Жыл бұрын
Shouldn't even be asking "why". Just stay out of it. 31 year old, 21 year old - no - not even if they are 12 years old.
@Howdy762
Жыл бұрын
i rly want to say some of this is because of her parneting
@L.O.R.DRecords
12 күн бұрын
These kids grown let they ass figure it out as long as they not homeless 💯✔️
@crobj10
Жыл бұрын
1:51 when the Bible says there’s going to be silence in Heaven for half an hour…this is what it’s going to sound like 😂
@PatrickGotHands
Жыл бұрын
They are not kids they are adults! 21 is not a kid LOLOL
@leahmcdermott4189
Жыл бұрын
Wow, these comments are making me gag. Some of y’all are so strict, harsh and unloving, it’s no wonder your kids end up hating you. I’m not saying what they did was right but I’d think twice about the relationship you’re trying to foster before completely cutting your kids off in their time of need. “for I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more” if they are remorseful as Dave said. You know, sometimes they need support and guidance, not criticism and bashing 🥺💔
@OopThereItIs77777
Жыл бұрын
They’re in this situation because there was no guidance in their lives. Mom needs to accept responsibility & guide them on how to change their lives without doing it for them.
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