She said all the things that people are afraid to openly admit. He received the things she said with incredible grace. Wish the best for them whether together or apart.
@drecool85
8 ай бұрын
I was VERY impressed with both her ability to confidently articulate her needs wants and desires and his ability to sit in the discomfort and tolerate it with grace. Obviously this is not their first go round at any of these conversations but the emotional intelligence is THERE!
@LadyNimuey
8 ай бұрын
it´s a very hard lesson to learn, but for me, when it comes to relationships: "maybe is no". everything that is not a strong yes should always be a clear no.
@voyance4elle
8 ай бұрын
same
@MissUnderstoodOfficial
8 ай бұрын
A lot of people calling her toxic just clearly don't like women having needs and boundaries. She has clearly expressed many times she just does not trust him to be a responsible partner in many aspects, he has been consistently financially unstable and she obviously still loves him to have stayed however long it's been but is now at the end of her rope. She has clearly expressed a lack of reliability, even quoting from the morning of this taping to which she had to rush him out; parent-child co-dependant dynamics in a relationship are never really ever healthy and overtime breed resentment, in which it sounds like she has. I wonder if he has ADHD or any other neurodivergent conditions that would impact his ability to assess and fuction well in certain areas, because it tends to go unnoticed for a long time in people's lives and undiagnosed, creating these kind of dynamics but never having the tools to even stand a chance in a neurotypical world, nvm in relationships (the breakup and divorce rates are up there!!). Even if not, it is obviously not a black and white situation. They both care for each other but stability is important to a degree in any relationship, people haves their highs and lows but if something is a constant issue and never-resolving, people are allowed to walk away from what no longer works for them. Unfortunately love is important, but not everything which is the hyper-tragic reality of life :(
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
Exactly! Human relationships are never black & white, we're all different and complex beings, thank you for leaving this beautiful comment ❤️
@bojack3827
8 ай бұрын
@lilrwm It's very sad then if her need for $$$ and financial stability trumps connection, love and intimacy. Just another example of how the majority of women don't truly love men for who they are, but only love them for their utility and what they can provide. He's better off without her.
@MissUnderstoodOfficial
8 ай бұрын
@@bojack3827 that is so bogus highkey and illogical. No she should want somebody financially responsible and stable, because you need a place to sleep, need to buy food, you need money to do almost any and everything. Stability is and should be the baseline standard for any healthy relationship, there is a difference from being stable to being rich lmao- especially if that person isn't and hasn't even been trying. She clearly loved him enough to go this long with seeing it through but he admitted himself he has missed the mark heaps up until now. Men also don't love women unconditionally lmao, everybody is loved conditionally and they should be for relationships to be healthy.
@MissUnderstoodOfficial
8 ай бұрын
@@bojack3827 also you evaded the overall points of him being irresponsible in other ways, reliability is important for a connection to be sustained and a very important component. Why would you want people to settle in relationships where they cannot even trust their partners to uphold their mutually agreed responsibilities after continual patterns of irresponsible behaviour? Especially when that first responsibility is themselves and they cannot even do that. Lol, no red pill nonsense talking points to shame women for having healthy, normal standards here 👎🏾
@bojack3827
8 ай бұрын
@@MissUnderstoodOfficial But you don't know exactly what ways he's supposedly 'irresponsible' or whether she's simply overreacting because of her own issues. She even says herself that she got triggered and charged just because they were supposedly running late and her brain started snowballing but it turned out that he was fine etc. He's been honest things that he's working on. At the end of the day, if her need for financial security and being with someone who's got it all together is paramount for her, she needs to move on instead of keeping him dangling because it's clear that she's isn't able or willing to support him in his journey of growth and improvement.
@ndifsmurida8838
8 ай бұрын
I'm glad this channel is also showing such imperfect relationships. Let's be compassionate with our comments because we've all been in unhealthy relationships and held on for longer than necessary.
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
THIS!!! Thank you sooo much ❤️ compassion in huge indeed! This is such a beautiful comment, thank you!
@Rudi-belongs
8 ай бұрын
He’s working so hard to prove his worth, while she’s investing just as much effort into questioning and challenging his every move to reaffirm her own need for stability and security. Two beautiful souls that seem caught in a cycle of seeking validation in such a challenging way. I hope you each become the love and security you deserve.
@theevolvingmindset333
8 ай бұрын
Beautifully said.
@Rudi-belongs
8 ай бұрын
When a guy offers unconditional love but not the stability you deeply desire, because he’s still on his own path to finding it, a heartfelt dilemma arises. And when a girl values this love yet understands her need for a stable foundation, it creates an emotional paradox. What a dance.
@Silvermoonscorpion
8 ай бұрын
I'd say twin flame.
@tmvjtmgnqtm
8 ай бұрын
A very mother-son type of dynamic. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were so in a past life
@user-lp2ee6zo4b
8 ай бұрын
It's not that he's irresponsible. It's that you view his behavior as a responsible period perhaps you should try to find out why he behaves that way and not judge him.
@thisismthatism
8 ай бұрын
I was in this situation early last year with my partner of 7 and a half years. I felt like Rocky: something wasn't a good fit that I just couldn't put my finger on, I was wondering if I was missing out because I was with an incompatible partner -- a partner I loved so deeply but had a weird gut feeling it wasn't forever. We broke up in April of last year and it was THEEE HARDEESSTTT thing I ever had to do. It is fucking SCARY. It is lonely and super anxiety-inducing to willingly separate from your best friend/love when there's still love present. But it's okay to part because you just don't feel compatible anymore. It's okay to want something else. Admitting that to yourself is the first step, but then you HAVE to take the second terrifying step towards a different future. I'm now 9 months down that path and things are becoming a lot clearer. Don't sacrifice both of your happiest futures because of fear.
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
This is so true and insightful, thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️ we love you!
@mehakpsn8425
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for writing this I needed to hear it
@queendolly1993
8 ай бұрын
In the thick of it
@aliciamorales144
8 ай бұрын
soo true i went through the same ❤️❤️
@christinamagana8035
7 ай бұрын
This makes me feel better about my 5yr one ending. We still live together due to circumstances, we care about each other and do things for each other and do things together... but I know it's not going to be forever and I'll have to move out and I'm TERRIFIED.
@Alldance09
8 ай бұрын
This comment section is exactly why you should take emotional advice from strangers on the internet with a grain of salt. Been in her shoes and it seems like she’s seeing the light at the end of the breakup and he’s still wrapped up in the storm of it all. But calling her toxic when she’s being clear about her boundaries is unfair. It’s not her fault that he is not as far along as her on his healing journey.
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for this! ❤️
@Lemons19902010
8 ай бұрын
Absolutely agree!
@kingayy9267
7 ай бұрын
Misogynists will criticize a woman for what they do or say just as quickly as for what they don't do or say. They will never be satisfied with a woman's actions because they don't respect women. It's best to ignore them, since they will not change their ugly outlook until they're willing to do so. Which, for far too many, is never. They're small-brained.
@tierratowne
8 ай бұрын
She just seems like she’s completely disappointed and tired of trying. The way she is communicating shows that she loves him deeply.
@Faith-sr8zw
8 ай бұрын
I know there are negative comments about her but I relate to the things she’s saying and it’s not malicious … you can’t help how you feel and she’s being fully transparent While giving it one more chance
@Faith-sr8zw
8 ай бұрын
Not everyone has the guts to be fully transparent
@allisontruttling4288
8 ай бұрын
I can also relate to what she’s saying, but I stay because I suspect my ‘hesitation’ is linked to my mental health and anxious-avoidant attachment style.. in short - I think I’d get to this point with anyone, and the grass never will be greener in a different yard. I just have to turn inward and resolve some shit to shake the feeling… hopefully Edit: a bit of an overshare for the ol KZitem comments but maybe someone out there won’t feel so alone. Because seeing this video and reading your comment sure made me feel not so alone
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
Yes! Thank you for being understanding ❤️
@wanjiwanji
7 ай бұрын
I see so much of myself in her. I've asked myself that exact question of: is it meant to be this hard? so many times. I also appreciate how hopeful he is of their future and how sure he is about her. A psychiatrist called Esther Perel talks about how having a love story with someone doesn't necessarily mean that you'll have a life story with them. Love isn't enough to build a life with someone, the practical aspects of how you'll live have to align as well. Anyway, as someone who has experienced this, I wish them grace as they navigate.
@omnib.135
8 ай бұрын
She has anxiety and he has depression. They are codependent on one another. That’s why they are still attached and can’t let go. They do love one another however, are too busy looking for someone else to complete their puzzles. Not realizing that they are their own missing puzzle piece. Both need a sole healing.She can’t love him because he doesn’t love himself and vice versa. They are mirror imaging each other but are too afraid of believing in what they see being reflected back. Separation will cause them to grow in love with themselves if they are willing to face themselves alone, but if not they’ll be back together still running from themselves!
@bachopinbee5991
8 ай бұрын
This is THE COMMENT. Well put 14:49
@gizmo87315011
Ай бұрын
Didn't they have a year apart already? This was the result.
@kminniefield
8 ай бұрын
This is so difficult to watch. He is so in and she is so out. If you’ve ever been in his position, watching this is gut wrenching.
@vexotica
7 ай бұрын
She's entirely out of the relationship already. It's painful to watch because she's not being honest about this, possibly to avoid the guilt/ responsibility of being the one to cause the breakup. I don't find that attitude (or her constant criticism of her partner) particularly compassionate. I do hope he can learn from this the importance of reciprocity.
@makaylasmith224
8 ай бұрын
It sounds like based on watching this discussion between them both you can tell that she doesn’t feel safe to be led by him and feels that she has to lead him. I understand the perspective of both sides but i think that he has to realize that what’s for you will be for you. I think her being transparent on this platform was her boiling point of actually setting her boundary.
@UdoADHD
8 ай бұрын
Ok… Ben… honey… you need to let her go. Out of respect for YOURSELF, baby. She is saying in so many words that she does not have feelings for you. She needs to work on respecting her own boundaries but in the mean time, Ben… she does not love you. She does not want you. Leave.
@willemfire
8 ай бұрын
I'm going through something similar. We've been together for nearly 10 years and still love him so much, but just feel that we're not right for each other anymore. I'm just so scared to take the actual step and to cause all the hurt and chaos.
@stella2036
8 ай бұрын
I was in her shoes once. We both cared about each other, and things the other person said that would change were never realized. You want to believe what they say, but eventually you have to operate in reality, and respect your own limited time in life.
@Lemons19902010
8 ай бұрын
I'm currently in her situation now
@voyageswithshyeasha1398
8 ай бұрын
I've been on both ends of this. It's tough when you are attached to someone. You can tell they care for each. Just not Compatible in a Romantic Dynamic.
@ene1818
8 ай бұрын
She’s telling him that he is not The One but she’s also giving mixed messages while enjoying the relationship perks. He is in denial.
@bachopinbee5991
8 ай бұрын
Agree
@michaelag8256
7 ай бұрын
I feel like I’m watching myself and my partner right now. No matter how much love there is, something just isn’t working and it’s neither one’s fault, just is.
@TheSkinDeep
7 ай бұрын
Sending our best wishes, a lot of love and strength your way ❤️ we feel ya.
@ellisenicoleable
8 ай бұрын
I’m so glad I watched this video b/c lately my partner and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch and I’ve been questioning a lot of things. However- he is always trying his absolute best and he has never stopped loving me or being there for me. It’s hard to come to the realization that no matter how much love there is, a romantic relationship just can’t work, it’s hard to fully let go. If you really think about all of the intricacies of a human being and how those must line up with another persons intricacies, it just gives you a whole new outlook on relationships in general. We have to trust ourselves and our feelings, we know when a situation or relationship is no longer working in our lives. Sometimes though, people can make improvements. And I think trying to make improvements says a lot about a person. I’m rambling now but I feel a new sense of gratitude for my partner after this video, it was almost like watching us here on the screen.
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
Wow thank you so much for sharing your story, we're very happy to hear you could see yourself and your partner in the video! This honestly means so much to us ❤️ we love you, thanks for your beautiful reflection on love!
@musicluva8790
8 ай бұрын
Same ❤ Wish you the best on your journey
@lunab.7858
7 ай бұрын
Same ❤❤
@pistachiosprincess
8 ай бұрын
I feel bad for both. She has tried so hard to love him and he is trying so hard to prove himself to her. The fact that he continuously brought up her traumas and how he has "helped" her... I think she made the right decision by walking away:)
@CassandraL666
8 ай бұрын
I’ve been here. In her shoes. There’s so much awareness. But…. Not enough. You’re plucking yourself out of yourself to assess the situation rather than being present in your feelings and simply acting on them. Sometimes you need them. If something in you is saying run? Be selfish? To this extent? Do it.
@BlessedSoulmedicine
8 ай бұрын
I hope he sees how special he is.
@Ruby-kr6fh
8 ай бұрын
Whooooaaaaa. This was fascinating. Kind of gut wrenching. Very real and honest and probably more common than most ppl let on…
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
Thank youuuu ❤️
@Katechap20
8 ай бұрын
It’s really interesting to peek inside this relationship, to hear their hesitations and goals. I really don’t want to slip into judging either of them for being so honest. It makes me think about my own relationships a lot more, and I really appreciate their openness. They are also both so beautiful!
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much, we're glad to know this got you thinking and reflecting ❤️ love you!
@kingayy9267
7 ай бұрын
@kathchap20 I really liked your comment. You seem like an open-minded, respectful person and you're right; they both have nice faces.
@ayannaLOVE_
8 ай бұрын
I relate to Rocky so much. I was in a 4 year relationship where we seemed to be great but I was in love with his potential and his dreams but he was very irresponsible. We started arguing all of the time about his infidelity and he would use his childhood trauma to guilt me into staying with him but I was also staying because I was afraid to start over and had hopes he would change and even thought "what if he gets it together right after I leave". I then started to hate the way he would breathe lol and that was the tell that I stayed way too long.
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
We hear you, thank you for sharing your story, it means a lot to us ❤️ we're sorry you had to experience this but we're so glad to know you got through it!!! Love you!
@minimar55677
6 ай бұрын
Are you in touch with him? What ever happened with him after?
@amboogerz
8 ай бұрын
He has so much love to give I can't wait to see him with someone that wants it and gives that back to him ! Whether that's her down the line or someone new
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
Beautiful, thank you ❤️
@shelbyspellman3046
29 күн бұрын
When they spoke of being able to thrive apart, that stuck out to me the most. Sometimes we can’t function w/ the people we want and still have the things/experiences we need. And while the hurt is intense, the journey and outcome will be worth it in the end.
@Cooqquu
8 ай бұрын
Truly the first time I've ever heard a couple be honest about hesitations & triggers of being in and out of "want" with someone. Thank you for the share.
@TheSkinDeep
7 ай бұрын
Thank you for watching ❤️
@olivialuke1791
8 ай бұрын
Can I say that I love the transparency? He seems like he’s actually trying. I want to say that I just had a recent break up and it’s nothing like how vulnerable and honest u guys are. I pray you guys figure it out. Skin deep u know I love you guys.. thank you for this
@Raddiebaddie
8 ай бұрын
You can love someone and still be incompatible. It sounds like they have tried it all and it’s just not quite the right fit even if they both care in different ways. Appreciate the openness when you know others will judge even though they could be in the same or different situations
@JP-nl9mc
8 ай бұрын
OMG this is a classic case of Dismissive Avoidant and Anxious Attachment dancing. I love these 1:1.
@caramelsupreme
8 ай бұрын
Exactly!
@drecool85
8 ай бұрын
I love how ppl are becoming so aware of attachment styles and we get to see objective examples in real life . This is schoolboys learning on steroids!
@Discrete1998
8 ай бұрын
Wanting the best for others regardless of if that’s with you, is truly the biggest love. You don’t have to be with someone to show them ultimate love. Sometimes we have to love someone from afar, because we love ourselves too ❤️
@masonvanrossum808
8 ай бұрын
Ultimately she is being honest and vulnerable, and being very intentional about doing what may be best for both of them. Yet, you can clearly see the openness of what she is thinking and the hesitations she has around him, has him chasing and chasing and chasing. She may feel a need or burden to be there for him, and for the relationship, after clearly expressing she experiences peace when they are apart. I think it is hard when you can sense that she knows she is keeping him on a string, as a safety blanket, while openly expressing to him, what he needs to do better. I wouldn't say it is a toxic dynamic, just may not be a relationship that is healthy for either of them, despite the strong love. The last question is interesting because he focuses on the love she deserves in a way, and she focuses on the kindness she gave him. Just not a fan of the whole dynamic, but as stated before, it is very real and complex
@balebanksful
8 ай бұрын
His patience (and I am not referring to the relationship) is very admirable.
@UdoADHD
8 ай бұрын
It’s so interesting how we see it differently! I don’t see him as patient; I see him as delusional.
@drecool85
8 ай бұрын
I saw his patience as grace for the situation and ability to sit with discomfort. I gathered this is nowhere near their first conversation of the sort, and there’s some elevated emotional intelligence there you don’t often witness. Although not a healthy dynamic in the relationship, this was healthy communication. I can also see how he’s delusional, but that is separate and doesn’t negate that he’s EI & clearly able to sit with himself even through the pain.
@SherbetLollipop
Ай бұрын
Breaking up is hard, but for it to work you need to stay broken up. These two are not actually broken up - it's like you're still emotionally entwined. I'm kinda grateful i came across this video, I've recently had a breakup and even though there is a pull to reconnect- i don't want to have a situation like this, it seems actually horrible. So thank you for the perspective, it's sharpening my resolve for No Contact 🙏🏻
@informationagegirl
7 ай бұрын
Their openness and honesty is so rare. I hope they never forget that.
@YouSsef-uw5if
8 ай бұрын
This channel provides a huge service for humans everywhere!
@TheSkinDeep
7 ай бұрын
Wow that means sooo much to us, thank you ❤️ we really hope so!
@bengalis5163
8 ай бұрын
Ben, put an end to this toxic relationship, now!! The pain, so incredibly visible on your face, will only increase until it becomes excruciating... Don't do this to yourself, please! She is being, whether she knows it or not, a sadist! You're probably not perfect, like none of us are, but you don't deserve to be treated like that by anyone. So much Light and Love, truly, for both of you!
@bachopinbee5991
8 ай бұрын
I disagree with the sadist comment. I would write it differently. She's rather bluntly honest imo
@dianat.5754
8 ай бұрын
I get both sides. But you can see in the end she talks to him like things are ending. Man, that breaks my heart. Can't imagine what they are both going through. There are signs that things are going to end from her part and that is probably very difficult for him to accept. It's obvious form the outside, but when you are in that situation...you can't see clear.
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
Very insightful, thank you so much ❤️ we appreciate it!
@dominiqanbaby
8 ай бұрын
This is incredibly vulnerable for him. Which is great. But she is wonderful. The boundaries she is setting for herself and her quality of her life that he is jeopardizing. They are both able to acknowledge that. There's love there. But, I love the love she has for herself more. She's wanting to move on.
@jetnobert4037
8 ай бұрын
I love their honesty, may they find their soulmates one day.
@kathrin5721
8 ай бұрын
He sounds like a very cute and handsome guy
@kimscribble6509
8 ай бұрын
i was hoping you were going to get back together when you spent your year apart. I met you both in Iowa City when we were working on the Bernie Sanders campaign and I thought you were such a beautiful, inspiring couple who had a shared passion for film and Bernie. If you both aren't fully committed at this point, its probably time to let it go even though its going to be very painful. I had to let go of several relationships with people I loved during the pandemic and even though it hurt, it was the right thing to do. You both have to be fully committed to loving and accepting each other as you are. I don't hear that in this talk. You're both so brave to share your life with others. I wish the best for both of you: remember the love when you were both sure.
@jessicalee.coaching
8 ай бұрын
Rocky and Ben, thank you for sharing your truth with us. What a powerful thing to watch. You are both so brave for allowing yourselves to be seen in such raw vulnerability. I cried watching. I can feel your love for each other. It is incredibly courageous sharing this with the world and I celebrate you both. 💗
@earlybirddreamful
8 ай бұрын
i feel like whats left ignored in many of those kind of conversations is that i get both people have their own struggles, but while he is sticking around and calling it his sacrifice, she is uncomfortable with the convincing-part and what he is not giving her in all this, is what she needs apparently right? like some people are making those big talks about how they are unconditionally loving someone and staying around when they're thinkig about breaking up, but while their partner is struggeling with them always being late or what that was about here, its not enough for them to change what's bothering their partner? i mean i get it, you cant just change in a blink of an eye and you might have your own struggles that are entangled with some things that bother your partner, and he's talking about having made progress. but from the little bits that we go to see about what bothers her, it doesn't look like he changed that much if literally the morning of this type of video he made her feel insecure again by being late or what that was? obviously we do not have a full picture of this, but i was reminded of people that sweettalk their partners but aren't giving the same energy when it comes to what they do. idk.
@Noks_TheArtist
7 ай бұрын
Ben is me in soooo many scenarios. Wishing them both love and light. So hard to see yourself in other people knowing exactly what is unsaid and the inevitable end. Ben really reminded me of me. And I'm hoping everything works out for the both of them. We all deserve to be loved, truly and purely.
@mckennabradshaw2914
8 ай бұрын
Two very mature individuals, having the conversation we all need to have but tend to stay quiet. I loved how both Ben and Rocky were very receptive and respectful to each others needs and boundaries, not shaming each others feelings.
@camillemorris815
8 ай бұрын
Love needs to be understanding not unconditional
@taylorrobert9495
8 ай бұрын
I totally see both of them. Not in the same place in development, simple as that. The resentment is there already. Wrong time. Hope the best for both of them!
@K-EKG
8 ай бұрын
Brutal. They need to let each other go. It seems they're both leeching off each other because they don't want to "start over". She wants to put him even more in the friend zone and he keeps pushing for a relationship. It's kinda obviously they're not for each other. That being said. She bout to have some fun in Atlanta 🤣
@portiawebb533
8 ай бұрын
LOL
@ankali_
8 ай бұрын
On one hand men do have the fame of not being in charge enough of a lot of aspects of life, at home, with kids, etc. On the other hand, it seems like she is just too rigid and puts that onto others. So Ben might have adhd or just be a more laid back person, and that's ok! It seems like he puts himself down and thinks he needs to be someone else. YOU DO NOT. You need to be the best you You, and if that means not having a routine, not being out the house 1h before you usually would etc, thats ok! As they said, it seemed they were late but they were not! Life is too short to try to fit into someone's mold of who we should be. The right person will appreciate Ben and elevate him to be his best self, instead of the best fit for a someone's image. Let fully go Ben, focus on being the best YOU and loving yourself. The right person will come along. Trying to make it work with someone that doesn't love and accept you the way you are is a trauma response most likely. Convincing someone to be with you is self-abandonment. PS you two have been at this for at least 2.5 years. Trust me, you don't want to insist on something too long. Just go your separate ways, don't make docs about it, live your lives, and if one day this is right it will be effortlessly. Not like this. The best outcome is whatever is best for each one, not "getting married"
@1cosmicdebris
3 ай бұрын
She doesn't want to carry the masculine energy with him. She wants him to be less in his feminine energy. She has to take care of him like he's a child. NO ONE LIKES THAT!!!!
@bespokecarpentryworks9323
8 ай бұрын
As a straight man, he is really beautiful!
@JLynnFair
3 ай бұрын
As a straight woman, he is really unattractive to me. Just not my type, I guess.
@ibenyeshia
8 ай бұрын
i felt how they were feeling through the screen and it hurts me so much yet makes me smile so much more. i appreciate them coming on and doing this video. 💚
@olivialuke1791
8 ай бұрын
This was so good. I had to comment again. If me and my ex were on here, skin deep would have to stop recording. Lol. Skin deep yall are elevating!!
@TheSkinDeep
8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much! Love ya ❤️
@olivialuke1791
7 ай бұрын
I love you guys too@@TheSkinDeep
@ruffey1748
8 ай бұрын
In the first two minutes she gives a whole rundown of all her stuff that keeps her from committing to the relationship, and in the third minute, he gives a speech about how he hopes she changes her mind. Sir, she is not into it at all. Sorry to this man!
@TheCerealluvr
5 ай бұрын
He seems anxiously attached and she seems avoidantly attached. She's voicing what most women are too scared to and also seems like she talks herself out of breaking up with him, after coming up with real reasons she doesn't want it anymore. She has work to do but I think she'd be happier, by the sounds of it, with someone who meets more of her needs up front. He also seems lovely. I hope they both find the happiness and security they both deserve in a partner.
@dnd1007
8 ай бұрын
This is such a hard situation for them both. I admire their courage, communication, and patience with each other.
@bachopinbee5991
8 ай бұрын
I love her honesty
@Nikita-rv5qg
8 ай бұрын
I'm going to give a simple piece of advice, to anyone reading this, DON'T EVER BE THAT GUY
@damianegaskin3216
8 ай бұрын
And don’t ever keep that woman
@bachopinbee5991
8 ай бұрын
Yessssss
@karydiaz74
8 ай бұрын
Wow what a subtle and straight forward way to not love someone and the other person not love themselves more to not see it 😮😢
@bachopinbee5991
8 ай бұрын
Spots on
@BinaMalina42
8 ай бұрын
She has clearly checked out the relationship and is telling him she doesn’t want to be with him anymore. He is trying to convince himself and her that they are still together or will be together. I hope he can move on.
@TOFAINNAIJA
Ай бұрын
LOVE THEIR AUTHENTICITY!!!!
@moirahyde750
3 ай бұрын
They thrive apart - nuff said.
@musicluva8790
8 ай бұрын
Ben and Rocky, thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s helping me understand my own ❤
@kellyjjoy3
6 ай бұрын
This is such an important conversation and I need to agree with all of the people who are commenting positively on their relationship and interaction. I have just broken up from a similar relationship and hearing two people talk about what has been stopping up from being fully happy and unhappy is helping me untangle why making the decision to stay or leave is so tough. Is this how good it’s going to be? If we are both in a process of evolution, is it worth staying to see it through? What is really at the end of it? Is there an end? Sometimes, only space can help us see what is going on within and why it’s so complex. I love hearing both of them being so genuine and loving towards each other. I relate to both of them. Thank you The And 🙏🏼
@seanporcelli3965
8 ай бұрын
Buddy, she DOES NOT like you fam. You can go. Do it.
@courbynebufford3550
7 ай бұрын
I feel like watching this shows that there is love but maybe not complete compatibility of clear values and needs. They are not meeting each others needs in a healthy way. Being healthy for them. Not in general. He gives everything for her and she wants him to give enough and not lose himself. Which is real.
@ballgownlife8630
8 ай бұрын
When honesty, transparency and openness meet! This was beautiful to watch!❤️
@AlxandraJiavani
7 ай бұрын
He needs to leave this situation. It’s never going to get where he wants it to go until he understands his own worth. He deserves reciprocity. She’s extremely open and honest, but they both need experiences outside of each other to even begin to understand what they have.
@tamathagilbert5816
8 ай бұрын
🙏🏿🎀🙏🏿⚘ Wow... The challenging, real, vulnerable, conversation...😮 Relationships take and give alot right...🙏🏿😳🙏🏿 I really respect them both for putting their challenges on the table and communicating about them PRIOR TO leaping into a more committed relationship with each other, like Marriage. Sometimes it is about timing and growth. Time will bring about clarity and growth for each of them and only the future knows if that will eventually lead to them being together after they have had time apart to establish their individual goals on their own. Time will tell.... I respect that they give each other space to be honest even when they are on different pages. Security matters, growth matters, respect matters, and love, enduring love, really matters, so, it is good they are taking time apart to figure things out🙏🏿
@twinkiks
8 ай бұрын
I feel really sorry for Ben. i hope he'll see the worth in himself to move from this toxic dynamic with his severely avoidant ex
@MsBari1025
8 ай бұрын
YYYUUUPPPP, AGREED!!
@Noks_TheArtist
7 ай бұрын
@theand please do more of these hard to break relationships. I'm healing here.
@TheSkinDeep
7 ай бұрын
Happy to know we're helping you heal ❤️ of course, thanks for the feedback! Love you.
@Noks_TheArtist
6 ай бұрын
@@TheSkinDeep 💜💜💜💜💜
@sandygaray7670
8 ай бұрын
Loving the energy from them, I'm going threw something similar ❤
@Eva_H
8 ай бұрын
Well, there is still a lot of love there just rip the Band-Aid off already and go your separate ways. She seems like she’s dangling a carrot, even though that doesn’t seem like her intention. The guy will openly admit to his fault, too, after all, it takes two people to make a relationship work, no point if it’s just a one-way street. All the best to them for the future
@user-sk6ko4bs7e
6 ай бұрын
The honestly and openness between them is beautiful. What comes to my mind is attachment styles, and I wonder if learning about the fearful-avoidant style would be helpful for Rocky. Ben seems to be anxiously attached to her, but his commitment to the relationship is inspiring. Why I wonder if Rocky is fearful-avoidant is that she clearly keeps continuing with the relationship, despite not being able to commit to him. On this particular day, she had an avoidant trigger come up just that morning, and it seems that Rocky’s avoidant trigger is Ben’s ADD style traits. It might be that Ben isn’t a fit for her because of those traits, but her having these avoidant responses but not ending the relationship is typical fearful avoidant behavior. Part of her is attached enough to him to keep returning despite previous attempts to separate, and yet she also had strong avoidant responses to him. As someone who has done a lot of work on that attachment style and has many friends who also are healing that style, her behavior reminds me a lot of my/our younger selves.
@iloveMYMOM1915
7 ай бұрын
Undoubtedly, this is my absolute favorite video. The authenticity portrayed resonated deeply with me, and I connect with her sincerity.
@emaak
8 ай бұрын
both of them are annoyingly verbose - meaning there is a very clear and direct conversation that needs to be had (with respect and boundaries) which seems like they are avoiding (she wants to state her terms of what she needs if they were to get married) and what he can offer truly (he probably can't/won't meet those needs but wants to "try" - to his own detriment). Some call this "unequally yoked" and others call this misalignment. I wish that they could let each other go properly and work on their sht separately.
@ThePlaylistRadio
6 ай бұрын
Unfortunately I think her growth is letting him go (it's because she loves the love she receives and she worried she won't find that kind of love again - but his love comes at a price of security (more than Money) just emotional security. His growth is believing that he needs to focus on him and love himself almost like he loves her (only reason I think he doesn't love himself is that it sounds like he doesn't prioritise himself - his time, reliability and his attitude towards himself).
@ghostlyMostly1
8 ай бұрын
He is leaning on her as much as she leans on him - they are comfortable with one another and like having that person who will always pick up the phone when called. But they are both one person away from saying goodbye forever... if either meets someone else who fills that hole neither will look back.
@dewleneafrica5779
24 күн бұрын
😢 this was so hard to watch. Triggered some stuff for sure... I'm getting divorced... It's hard to keep trying to be happy, when the happy has run out.. because it's just not meant to be I guess. We need to get more ok with the seasons shifting. I'm learning so much...
@alisonwithonel
8 ай бұрын
That was genuinely hard to watch. I bet she describes herself as “blunt” or “honest to a fault” and she just sounds cruel and lacking empathy. I wish for him the courage and confidence to accept “if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no” and to walk away for good.
@Silvermoonscorpion
8 ай бұрын
How else is she supposed to say what she feels? As if sugar coating it makes the truth more bearable?
@alisonwithonel
8 ай бұрын
@@Silvermoonscorpion I don't think there is any reason to tell him she daydreams about being with other people, or admitting she's shelving him as a Plan B in case she can't find something better, or that she is CERTAIN there is someone else out there who won't trigger her reactions to certain things. Those are mean comments to his face that do not serve a purpose. It's one thing to say "I feel anxious when I see you repeatedly drop the ball about being on time and keeping the house clean" but it's another to bluntly admit hurtful things. She's an anxious avoidant and she blames him for all of her emotional instability.
@chrisbradley8038
8 ай бұрын
To Ben, move on ASAP … she doesn’t love you and has no real will to try to…
@mylou1231
8 ай бұрын
My comment is not to judge at all!! Rocky: when you describe what happened in the morning and your mind going into a loop. This is just something to work on (and I get it!!!). It will always happend with a partner to be angry. But we can diminish the feeling by not spinning like that! He really looks like he is opened about talking about what he and you have to work on and this is sooooo precious :) wish you both (together or separately) a lot of happiness!!
@lamariaaminah
8 ай бұрын
Really needed this.
@neototem4110
8 ай бұрын
I mean...any of y'all gonna tell him or do you want me to do it... You *REALLY* don't want me to do it lol 🚫🚫🚫🚫 Bro. No.
@jenniferasif9883
8 ай бұрын
This is so sad. They have great communication but you can tell too much has happened and she has totally checked out and it’s going to crush him.
@Shimi9418
7 ай бұрын
I think if they both pay attention to the others actions much more than words things will become pretty clear about where to go
@wavyxxbaby
8 ай бұрын
Run while you can girl
@MsBari1025
8 ай бұрын
Ben In; Rocky out!! This is what misalignment looks like --- forcing to be in something for nothing. She's got so much unresolved SHIT to sort thru, that the projection is killing Ben's undervalued self. Hope she learns to stop making excuses and recognize that her attraction to him was because of the unresolved stuff within herself. Geeesh....!!! So glad they're breaking up and hope that it stays so.
@portiawebb533
8 ай бұрын
I’m into the new set…. The backdrop, his/her unique style; it’s giving Anthropologie…..🤷🏽♀️
@TheSkinDeep
7 ай бұрын
You noticed! Wow thank you, we truly appreciate it, love you❤️
@GypsysLove
8 ай бұрын
I don't think she is toxic because I've been in that type of situation but I still had love to invest. Looking at her and listening really makes it hard to not feel bad for the guy because she is completely gone, and he is still so in😢
@Birdyiam_
26 күн бұрын
This is me and the father of my children, I love him they only man I have ever love but I can’t live his lift style of freedom
@willmoredube4335
8 ай бұрын
Don’t stay for too long…. Just move 🥺🥺🥺 keep moving
@colettezyambo5065
8 ай бұрын
Sending massive love to you both 💗🌺
@whitneybrown4067
8 ай бұрын
This is Gonna b so Insightful🔥🔥🔥👍n Happy Wednesday😀….
@linkcell
8 ай бұрын
"The next step of the relationship is to cut all personal communication". I am so puzzled by this. That feels so counter intuitive. I need someone to explain this to me. How does "no communication" makes for "better comunicarion"? The only way I could think of a way for that to make some sense is for them to be in a non-monogamous open relationship and wanting to avoid hurting the partner by not sharing their individual intimate adventures while apart - granted that is something I'm no expert in. It feels like there are some pretty relevant details that were left out and make this a whole lot more difficult to understand and relate to.
@SherbetLollipop
Ай бұрын
Rocky, i know you care about him and you're worried about him, but you are allowed to leave. It's ok
@damit.dimitra4696
8 ай бұрын
It doesn't seem like she's ever going to allow Ben to be enough. Let him go completely, dangling a carrot is not fun, it's cruel. Her passive aggressive dialogue is too much.
@Ruby-kr6fh
8 ай бұрын
I don’t see anything passive about her dialogue, it’s quite direct to me
@tmvjtmgnqtm
8 ай бұрын
@@Ruby-kr6fhunfortunately people are uncomfortable with being direct about their wants and needs and therefore take it as passive aggressive or rude
@damit.dimitra4696
8 ай бұрын
@@tmvjtmgnqtm there's a huge difference between being direct and being passive aggressive
@tmvjtmgnqtm
8 ай бұрын
@@damit.dimitra4696 for sure there is. I see her communication as direct. But we can agree to disagree.
@queenofhearts1138
25 күн бұрын
They are both misaligned: with themselves and each other.
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