You are eighter married or you are not! If the separated man REALLY whants YOU then respect his present marrige and whife until divorce is done, that way you respect your self to. Don't be the sidechick.
@magsteel9891
5 жыл бұрын
You shouldn't date anyone separated. You are interfering in someone else's marriage. Don't be too surprised when an angry spouse shows up at your door. You also have to ride along for the messy divorce roller coaster. And then when that's over and they are really free they will likely move on to enjoy that freedom.
@joederue2392
3 ай бұрын
I am a man. Ladies take it from me. Do not ever date a man if he is separated our newly divorced. Give him at least 1 year to 18 months to figure himself out. Trust me, I've been there.
@EngagedAtAnyAge
3 ай бұрын
Thank you! Hope things are going well for you now
@deniseduggins8933
6 жыл бұрын
Separated is still married...period...
@nemo7782
4 жыл бұрын
Absolutely correct. Separated is STILL married! Off-limits until the divorce is FINALIZED. If he respects you then he will respect that fact and WAIT until he is completely free.
@NorahsLifestyleByDesign
4 жыл бұрын
Period.. The end.
@drmachinewerke1
3 жыл бұрын
Things have changed with concerning healthcare. You need to think about that. Not all marriages end with hate. Some of us are separated due to other than hate / cheating etc. I can tell women I’m divorced or never married and you would never know. If a man says he is separated. Then he is at least honest. Oh and I would never get married again once divorced. Why would I at 60. Mine is having a new house built. I keep the farm. She gets a new house along with healthcare.
@scarletsummer3526
5 жыл бұрын
No! They need time to heal... Date men who have been well divorced and has had time to heal... That is the smartest if u want to protect ur self!
@notebookluvr
6 жыл бұрын
I don't even have to watch to know the answer. I sadly understand that you should NEVER ever date a separated man. I did this on three different occasions with men i have known for many years. I had not had a relationship with any of them before but they all pursued me pretty hard. It ended very ugly each and every time and i refuse to ever do it again. My rule now is I don't date anyone until they have been divorced for at least one year. Guys are so messed up after a divorce and they need to get through that transition period before they are ready. Some guys need more or less time but a year is usually pretty safe.
@packrcch
6 жыл бұрын
this applies to women also. i agree.
@billsmith1965
5 жыл бұрын
And these men would be perfect if the divorce was final? I am very skeptical of that.
@empress_highpriestess3307
4 жыл бұрын
@@billsmith1965 I don't think divorced makes them perfect..only possible
@lauranicoletti7611
3 жыл бұрын
I realize this is an older video but I would like to give my perspective as a separated woman. I have a civil relationship with my ex-husband, he has agreed to a separation rather than a divorce so I can stay on his health insurance, which I consider incredibly generous and shows his character. We will never get together like you imply, and even divorced men sometimes return to their ex. So separation vs divorce is just a legality for some, it doesn't mean we will ever get back with our exes, I won't for sure. I realize it is up to my prospective date to decide whether my being separated is ok or not, but many of us separated people are completely available, like me and my ex.
@talvez567
2 жыл бұрын
I like your example and agree with you. This video is way too simplistic. The only reason women should avoid dating a separated man only because he is "separated "...is if she's planning to steal half his money. All the reasons she gives apply to men in all statuses.
@blancau8223
Жыл бұрын
why not get a job and get health insurance ;)being independent you will feel way better
@lindahamila
6 жыл бұрын
I just wish I could give this video 10 thumbs up, everything said here is absolutely true!
@EngagedAtAnyAge
6 жыл бұрын
OMG Linda you are too sweet. Thanks so much!
@lindahamila
6 жыл бұрын
You have no idea how much positivity it brings me to listen to your advice, to educate myself to be stronger and wiser, and to love myself first! As soon as you post something I dive right into it, and it makes me feel so good and happy to listen to a strong woman ❤️
@willowstanton7047
3 жыл бұрын
My husband and I are separated, still fresh and new since just about 3 months ago. Because he was the one who left, he cheated and now "fell in love" with someone else before he actually left me and moved into her house. He said to me that he doesn't know where its going and so there's no rush for the divorce to be filed. Our kids are devastated because without anyone knowing about what he was doing, our kids were the ones who found out about the other female because of pictures etc. So our kids (11 & 14) doesn't want anything to do with her and during all this, his mother was battling a lost fight with lung cancer so this whole thing has been extremely hard. 15yrs we have been married. He still wears his wedding ring. She is also more then 10yrs younger then him, so she's never been married nor has dealt with what comes along with our situation. I just wish I knew what to do
@beredinebasson4678
2 ай бұрын
Thanks for the information very helpful ❤
@EngagedAtAnyAge
2 ай бұрын
@@beredinebasson4678 you're welcome!
@danielletirpkoff4167
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for your very good advice!!!🌻
@Lele2323bk
6 жыл бұрын
New to your Channel Great advice Thanks for sharing!! :)
@msc7697
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video...
@SmellsGood24
6 жыл бұрын
Love this one. Great video
@knowwhouare
4 жыл бұрын
You are so right!!!
@LisaGoldenthal
2 жыл бұрын
I love this topic
@angieatvegas
Жыл бұрын
Prenup agreement I understand that what a mature couple have in assets before the marriage, belongs to each one Any purchase after marriage are both ?
@EngagedAtAnyAge
Жыл бұрын
That’s my understanding
@sabbiea.b.1152
5 жыл бұрын
Powerful, thank you 🐘
@leahmelissa111
3 жыл бұрын
You're a genius. Thank you
@SuperQdaddy
4 жыл бұрын
Divorced woman love seperated guys !!..they're screwed up and so is the seperated guy..its a match made in...narcissist player heaven
@drmachinewerke1
3 жыл бұрын
At 60 with money and separated. I can get young women. I’m not interested in getting rid of one just to be marrying another. I’m honest about I’m separated most don’t give a rats arse. They just want sex and food.
@christopherlundberg976
4 жыл бұрын
59! Wanting a hot young guy, sure it can happen with a mattress and providing curb service. Confession: Former nice guy turned jerk after 30 years of married bliss.
@whatsinaname5828
Жыл бұрын
You look like early 40s.
@mirandachan5222
4 жыл бұрын
DONT DO IT!!!! it’s most likely they will use your emotional/ physical support to get through this difficult and confusing phases, once they are done or feeling better cuz all the support you gave, it give him / her the strength to fix things out with their ex. Plus during this companionship your needs will NEVER be met!! What you had is all of their negativity from the separation and emotional drained everyday by them. It happened to me recently, and I nearly fall into that trap, I liked him a lot and we even had sex but luckily I got out early!! Remember!! YOU ARE BRAVE ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS AND DESERVE SOMEONE SO MUCH BETTER than someone’s husband/wife.
@talvez567
2 жыл бұрын
And you are unable to steal half his money if he is still not divorced, right?
@lisalisatoejam2751
5 жыл бұрын
Ladies just find a single man to date. These separated men are not worth the trouble they bring.
@LisaGemini
4 жыл бұрын
No, never is the answer. My sister has done this three times. Every single time, the man went back to his wife. She's been heartbroken every damn time. I've never done it and never will!
@kerrymone8590
Жыл бұрын
I married a man who’d been divorced for 8 months. They’d been married for 10yrs and they had 3 kids. I became his sounding board and simultaneously, his advocate. We ultimately got married. Now, we’re getting a divorce, a mere 4 years later. He’d never fully processed what happened with his ex. There was ALWAYS drama. And it crippled our relationship.
@EngagedAtAnyAge
Жыл бұрын
Wow! So sorry to hear! Heal first, date second! 💞💞💞
@gigi9301
3 жыл бұрын
Last summer, I dated a separated man for a few weeks. It was obvious that he wanted it both ways! I'm so glad I never slept with him! I did waste a few weeks, though !! Separated=Still Married !!
@Noonewillrecognizeyou
4 жыл бұрын
Same reason that you should not date a married woman. Avoid married people at all cost.
@centraln.westend6414
4 жыл бұрын
That's some real talk Tyrone some REAL TALK
@susannestein3955
5 жыл бұрын
I would never date a separated man because he is still married!!! I don't want to be the other woman lol!
@naisolanellius9849
4 жыл бұрын
Am happy and at peace I was about to make a very big mistake. Lord have mercy I will wait.
@billsmith1965
5 жыл бұрын
I had no chance of reconciliation after my wife filed for divorce. It didn't matter that it wasn't final, which took far longer than it should have. Just something to keep in mind.
@jenibutterfly2000
3 жыл бұрын
We keep it in mind. But you cannot commit normally if you’re married. And you just never ever know how it’ll turn out. Bad bad situation for a girl to be in
@nilak.s617
3 жыл бұрын
You're still legally married. Don't date.
@doloresamaya6331
6 жыл бұрын
You are absolutely correct about this. I recently started talking to an old flame and he is a most misunderstood husband ( some cliché).! I've been out with him for lunches and he wants more.! But I'm going to break ties with him. I want to go out.! Walks on the beach, dancing, wineries, movies, even a night at home reading a great novel.! I'll not continue with this absolute nonsense.! Thank you so much for your insightful videos.
@secureconnection5245
6 жыл бұрын
I have a very cut and dry position on not dating a separated man. I was approached several times on a dating website by separated men and delete their initial messages as soon I get them, don't even respond to them. Even a newly divorced man is not ready to start dating, imo. It takes time to get over your ex and put behind all the drama. And you don't want to end up being his rebound. So one of my first questions when I meet a divorced man is how long has it been since his divorce. If the answer is less than a year, NEXT.
@MissHannah2036
6 жыл бұрын
Also on RSVP you select what status you want the man to be...eg. single, divorced, widowed etc. Definitely, needs to have been 18 months at least I reckon, 2 years even better..luckily the guys I get have been divorced for a while, but always got to ask when was your last relationship and how long was it...usually in conversation's you can tell if they're over their ex or not...
@janetjohnson2499
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. This was so informative
@gladius2489
2 жыл бұрын
I have a very cut and dried position on dating a woman. Do you have a brain larger than a walnut?
@Joshuarcade
4 жыл бұрын
What about if the woman walked out on both the kids and the man (myself)? I'm ready to move on but I can't divorce until one year due to Canadian Divorce laws. (Ex has moved on and living with another man in another country) I'd love to hear your opinion in this case.
@talvez567
2 жыл бұрын
They won't date you because they can't steal half your money. End of story bro.
@daniellem578
6 жыл бұрын
WOW. This is all very true! I dated a recently divorced man. He was so broken from his ex he would dump all the stuff on me we due to him . It was clear he wasn’t over his ex. I was like his therapist it was super draining. He ended up breaking up w/ me claiming he wasn’t ready for anything serious
@larryreynolds5136
6 жыл бұрын
Appreciate his honesty
@Jane5720
3 жыл бұрын
You let that go on way too far, don't allow him to dump all his stuff on you ever, if a man is totally complaining about his ex wife for divorce he is not ready to date
@daniellem578
3 жыл бұрын
@@Jane5720 true
@CeeMonay1960
5 жыл бұрын
My Ex husband's mistress should have watched this. LOL...she found out the hard way...after taunting me that she was now my husband's "girlfriend" after he moved out of the house. I quickly gave him his divorce and she spent 3.5 yrs trying to get him to commit and marry her. Sorry, I'm being petty..:)
@Ferosha1
3 жыл бұрын
That’s what she gets for dating a married man
@jeffackland5946
3 жыл бұрын
Hello ceemonay
@Jane5720
3 жыл бұрын
Its ok, I would be too
@BrendaBaBoom
4 жыл бұрын
While getting older I’m NOT as TOLERANT .... especially when bad energy breezes by.
@comeup7364
3 жыл бұрын
It’s unfortunate that our heart wants what it wants. I know better and will take heed to wisdom 🥰
@EngagedAtAnyAge
3 жыл бұрын
You're invited to join the conversation in a more private platform in our Engaged at Any Age Ladies Club Facebook group! Go here to join: facebook.com/groups/engagedatanyageladiesclub
@nilak.s617
3 жыл бұрын
Why would someone want to be a mistress? The idea of being someone's mistress doesn't sit well with me. 🤔
@2legit2Kwit
6 жыл бұрын
Great video. Every scenario you lay out is so true!!! You are truly authentic and self actualized.
@lastchance6993
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, if the man have a court date for divorce, and not living with the spouse, also may have a written agreement to date.
@TheSunshinefee
3 жыл бұрын
don't date broken men. let him get divorced and heal and when he's fine, he can try again.
@danielletirpkoff4167
6 жыл бұрын
I never thought it was a good idea to date a separated man!!!!
@dreamwishergirl
2 ай бұрын
I’m from the future… don’t do it!! I met a man who had been separated for 3 months and claimed the paperwork was in the final stages- turned out it WASNT and he dumped all his feelings about her onto me! When I was at his place, I found out his wife’s stuff was still there, INCLUDING PREGNANCY TESTS. It ultimately destroyed me. I am now healing from it.
@nancykane8680
3 жыл бұрын
No, no, no + no!!! They are not emotional available, may be physicially away fm the person, but not healed Yes, exactly, should be working on your own self before adding someone new in the mixing bowl
@EngagedAtAnyAge
3 жыл бұрын
Great, glad it was helpful! You're invited to join the conversation in a more private platform in our Engaged at Any Age Ladies Club Facebook group! Go here to join: facebook.com/groups/engagedatanyageladiesclub
@beaubaez7704
Жыл бұрын
Separated guy here-haven’t seen or spoken to wife in nearly three years. Divorce will be final in thirty days. Began processing my emotions over a year ago, both in a support group, with counselors, and friends (men and women). Chance of restoration in marriage is zero-we have lived over a thousand miles away for nearly five years. Joined a dating app a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been clear on everything I just mentioned and also, that for now, just looking to meet people for coffee or a meal-learning how to better communicate after a 30 year relationship. For religious reasons, sex and physical intimacy is not an option till marriage. I appreciate your advice to women-makes a lot of sense and exactly what I would tell my daughters. My rule in life is to not hurt another person, intentionally or otherwise. Am clear on these dating sites that I plan to meet different women for casual dates-talking and enjoying lunch or coffee. Question: does this level of transparency, coupled with my intention, create the likelihood of me causing another person emotional pain? Sure, I would like to get into a healthy long term relationship one day, but don’t think that will happen right away. Is my plan to have casual lunch dates unfair to those I meet? I have communicated my intent, but would appreciate your thoughts on the impact of me meeting someone for a couple of hours at a local restaurant. And yes, I recognize that it may have been more prudent to wait two months before joining a dating site. But I’ll be recently divorced in a month, so same concern: I don’t want to hurt another person. Just looking for friendship now, nothing exclusive.
@EngagedAtAnyAge
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing! I believe you are not responsible for how others "feel." No one can make me feel anything. 'I feel" is a very empowering statement, whereas "you made me feel" is handing over your power and is a victim statement. So to answer your question. You are not responsible for others' feelings. It's important to distinguish that we are not talking about irresponsible behavior but are here to learn life's lessons. When we try to shield others from pain we are also saying, "I don't think you can handle this, so I'll take responsibility for you." That's not authentic. So disclosing what you feel in your heart is ethical, fair, and detaching from outcomes. That's not your job. Sounds like you're moving into a great place! I do coach men if that's something you're interested in. www.engagedatanyage.com, there is a tab for private coaching. Take care!
@waterlilly9
4 жыл бұрын
But they all appear as single and have these decieving looks and behavior.
@NorahsLifestyleByDesign
4 жыл бұрын
Great video. No married men period, I'm even leery about divorced men, some cant still separate the ex wife situations (mad drama,child support, visitation, bitter custody battles and so on) from the one being pursued currently. No thanks I'm good.
@pm5095
3 жыл бұрын
I am with you but there aren't many decent single men left in the 30s dating pool..I went for a few dates with a separated man and he ghosted me in the end I fear I won't find someone decent without these baggage 😔
@DedraAllen007
6 жыл бұрын
Keep it real Coach Jaki! Yes, we have to modify ourselves and our routines as we age! I will be 58 and wow, If I sleep well, I can feel alive and more powerful every day! Great advice, we need to learn the true value of a relationship in our maturity!
@Noonewillrecognizeyou
4 жыл бұрын
7:19-9:10 priceless wisdom. My ex gf did that to me with her husband. Thank you.
@tulipchic34
2 жыл бұрын
It depends on the circumstances. Some people can’t divorce because of financial reasons. Doesn’t mean the can’t move on. I’m seeing a separated man. His been separated 2 years and there is no way of reconciliation.
@EngagedAtAnyAge
Жыл бұрын
Agree, there are many scenarios however unless you're in one of those situations don't DATE SEPARATED MEN!
@stanleybritt5491
Жыл бұрын
You're so wrong about this issue!
@EngagedAtAnyAge
Жыл бұрын
The only thing that is wrong is your comment. This is my opinion. That's it. I'm entitled to have one, and so are you. My channel is about supporting women shoulder to shoulder, so criticizing me is counterproductive. A more empowered statement would be, "I disagree with you" That would be true! See the difference?
@user-xv1kp6qf7h
5 жыл бұрын
How do u know if the newly divorced is the first or second one?? They will obviously say they are ready to date and over it etc and have moved on.. but how do u know u just seen their rebound and helping them over the loneliness while they “figure it out” and ply the field dating again
@candycrushesit6814
5 жыл бұрын
If they still constantly bring up their ex or if they are comparing you to her. That might be flattering to your ego but the truth is they have to first be thinking about her to compare you to her in the first place. Secondly, getting "over" someone is so much easier when you're involved with someone else... That person is a buffer for all of the emotions that come with divorce or separation. This process needs at the very minimum 6 months.. and it will vary based on how long he was with the woman and when he was with her. If he married her as a young man and has been married 25 years it could take an entire year... Also, be their friend without sex .. and if they start screwing someone else you'll know that they're not done healing.
@jdantonio7989
4 жыл бұрын
I agree with Max Vision's opinion. We don't live in a perfect world where people live a celibate saintly lifestyle while separated. Ask lots of questions, do your due diligence and then make a mature decision about whether to date a separated man. You are deluding yourself if you think that someone who is older like I am (age 60), has lots of single available men just waiting to date! If you have strong chemistry with someone and they are separated, ask lots of questions including whether they are worth waiting for and if your heart and mind feels satisfied with the answers, then go for it!!!!!
@continuousself-improvement1879
5 жыл бұрын
My divorce process took 1.5 years (that was about half a year ago). We separated about 2 months before proceeding with the court application. During that process, does that classify me as someone who is separated or divorced? I ask this because I am recently seeing a person in the same situation. Is he categorized as separated or divorced?
@magsteel9891
5 жыл бұрын
Continuous Self-Improvement you already know the answer. Either you are divorced or you aren't. Divorced in your mind doesn't count.
@candycrushesit6814
5 жыл бұрын
Also men operate very differently .... They tend to not know what's at stake until they've lost it or are losing it... So it's better to be safe than sorry... Friendship is all I would offer until it's over and he's healed a bit.
@Seekyourtruth777
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much ❤️
@ajl2845
5 жыл бұрын
You are so smart. Beautiful, and on point!
@centraln.westend6414
4 жыл бұрын
Y hold on to somethn u separated yourself from ,if u are married u an your partner couldnt get alone divorce would b the answer then your free .
@hackwilson1467
3 жыл бұрын
Seperated 13 years... divorce is not in the future as I'm happy...end of debate
@barrazjazz
4 жыл бұрын
I agree with not giving up your happiness and do it all the time too!!! Instead of "so what?" I always say "because eff it that's why!"
@knowwhouare
4 жыл бұрын
NO!
@teresa4645
5 жыл бұрын
You are wise
@DabneyFountain
5 жыл бұрын
Jaki, you are the real deal. A coach who has pinpoint insight into what makes for healthy, fulfilling relationships...first with oneself and then with others. You are very wise and helpful. A role model indeed. Thank you for sharing your sage perspective.
@joliemiranda5685
5 жыл бұрын
Jaki, thank you so much! Fabulous video with very intuition. Love your positivity, feminine energy and enthusiasm for life and overcoming it's challenges💞😘🙌
@texascontessa5818
6 жыл бұрын
This is a good one. Thanks
@hopefully2224
4 жыл бұрын
Omg! I am dating a newly divorced guy who was cheated on...our time together is nothing but processing, including no intimacy! The other guy I'm dating is separated...wow! I sure know how to pick em 😂
@joynynka2333
2 жыл бұрын
You are quiet correct You've said it all
@susanjones4470
6 жыл бұрын
Jaki i appreciate your passion in helping in the love world.powerful insight.
@mwadjumamukamfizi2216
5 жыл бұрын
They never were rings !!!at least he told from get go other wait in for months
@ssmith543
4 жыл бұрын
What if the separated guy is about to be your boss?
@aliyaansar3805
3 жыл бұрын
Good video thanks .
@colorkouture_llc
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much!
@feersty
6 жыл бұрын
She wanted a free dinner!
@talvez567
2 жыл бұрын
And wanted to steal half his money but realized that she can't bc his wife will do that first. Lol. Women please!
@gretagutensohn6728
3 жыл бұрын
No!!
@0judi0bartel74
3 жыл бұрын
She speaks wisdom! You are trespassing.
@claybenjaminsmook7471
6 жыл бұрын
Great Jaki!!
@Jane5720
3 жыл бұрын
The answer is no and you don't have to watch the video I just saved you a lot of time
@annamaria1929
5 жыл бұрын
I think this is poor advice! My separation was because of an abusive relationship and you’re advising that separated women are “ not available “.... nonsense! This actually makes me really upset!
@julie-mt2xr
2 жыл бұрын
An abusive relationship takes even longer to heal from so that point makes zero sense. If you can't deal with the divorce you are not ready to date period.
@eb7614
3 жыл бұрын
Great video,raw and honest
@annandiaye964
2 жыл бұрын
I think you are very negative! Every one has the right to a new relationship and happiness. The truth is very case is a different case!
@monicacopeman1975
6 жыл бұрын
One word.....ADULTERY, period!!!!! Unsubscribing.
@jasminesugar7710
6 жыл бұрын
Did you watch the video that we all watched, or you just jump into conclusion without watching the video. Byee
@rbguerreiro2466
6 жыл бұрын
She is telling people NOT to date separated men. Lol, did you even watch the video?
@EngagedAtAnyAge
3 жыл бұрын
Good example of a judgmental woman, that’s sad to me. Rigid thinking lacks flexibility! Flexibility is where we want to be.
@getrightorgetleft7197
6 жыл бұрын
What about the men who has divorced twice ? Are they still a good catch ?
@MissHannah2036
6 жыл бұрын
Good question, might be a red flag :)
@dianaevans7102
4 жыл бұрын
No! Especially if they are cheating bastards!!
@EngagedAtAnyAge
3 жыл бұрын
@@dianaevans7102 no man bashing please!
@EngagedAtAnyAge
3 жыл бұрын
Ask him what he leaned then decide. I don’t think so necessarily.
@EngagedAtAnyAge
3 жыл бұрын
Ask him what he leaned then decide. I don’t think so necessarily.
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