Sounds like when I crate trained my dog. He whimpered and cried a lot at first, then a few days in he started putting himself to sleep in there. It’s now his safe place and he loves it!
@monika-1315
4 ай бұрын
Exactly. Sounds like training a dog
@laurelandrea7278
4 ай бұрын
@monika-1315 I know you mean it as a bad thing but as people growing up as humans we have to "be trained" to learn things in order to survive and thrive in the world. Not all things are going to be easy. Being sucessful is hard. Being broke is hard. Pick your hard they say!
@Duckduckobtusegoose
4 ай бұрын
Except it’s a human who’s emotionally developing and has a proper attachment to their parent. You’ll be hard pressed to find credible studies that say sleep training is beneficial to babies in any way. Babies NEED COMFORT THEY ARE BABIES.
@isabellachristiansen3840
4 ай бұрын
🥴
@alexism1127
4 ай бұрын
@@bevturner2258 my dog sleeps in bed with us but he’s extremely high energy and sometimes naughty so he has a safe place to go when we need a break.
@rcg224
4 ай бұрын
sleep training took us 4 days. it changed our life. he's wonderful and loves his crib❤
@L-im4tj
4 ай бұрын
How?? My son is 19 months I can’t get him out of my bed 😩😩
@kbenn153
4 ай бұрын
It took us weeks. It felt like months. It was awful.
@rcg224
4 ай бұрын
@kbenn153 really ? idk I read things like if it takes longer than a week use a different method. at least ur past that point now right ? hope the next one is easier !
@lunaloveless7234
3 ай бұрын
Lol good luck dealing with the consequences of this later!!!
@L-im4tj
3 ай бұрын
@@lunaloveless7234 what are the consequences
@bevturner2258
4 ай бұрын
Trust your instincts! If it feels so wrong, how can it possibly be right? Soothing your crying baby is the most natural thing in the world.
@melissavandyken677
4 ай бұрын
It can be right. Sometimes as parents things can be sad for us, but we have to realize they are good for our kids!!
@bevturner2258
4 ай бұрын
@@melissavandyken677 Leaving babies to cry themselves to sleep is just wrong on so many levels. You instinctively want to comfort them.
@monika-1315
4 ай бұрын
@@melissavandyken677 Ok, I get it when a baby gets through a medical procedure or a vaccination - you agree to it, it hurts, they cry (AND YOU COMFORT THEM). But sleep training brings only better sleep for parents and has serious long running results for the baby. My sister is 10 and has really hard time falling asleep after being sleep trained
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
Sleep training can help the whole family- including the baby!- get better sleep, which leads to better physical and brain development for the baby AND a more calm, patient and present mom.
@user-gh1pj3tr5t
4 ай бұрын
That would be like saying to never let your baby try to walk and fall down. There's discomfort in growth and learning. That's just it. And that also is the most natural thing in the world.
@tarawrr20
4 ай бұрын
I failed hard at sleep training! But one day suddenly just before my son was 18 months old he started sleeping through the night. I was relieved but it was a long ride to get there because I couldn’t emotionally handle the crying. Now, my son does the exact same thing with pointing to his crib and wanting to snuggle up with his blanket and bear and go to sleep! Kids are so cute!
@loro3849
4 ай бұрын
I followed my heart and raised an awesome kiddo.
@cass3561
4 ай бұрын
Same here! I didn't actually know people hated so much on sleep training until after I sleep trained my kid. Thank God because I would have definetly been affected by their opinions lol!
@kristinakelley744
4 ай бұрын
I love hearing how you guys see parenting, and experience new things. Thank you for sharing
@d-wizzyschannel8376
4 ай бұрын
No hate at all to you guys, i love that it worked out for you guys! Everyone raises their babies in different ways. I personally never let my baby cry my heart just couldnt handle it. And now just feels like she knows ill come get her if she needs me to lay with her or rock her back to sleep. Idc what time it is. And now she is 8 months old and sleeps 12 hours straight most nights. Love that we are all raising babies together ! Love yalls channel and podcast!!
@cass3561
4 ай бұрын
The thing is, as a mom that sleep trained, my kids also know that I will be there for them. My now toddler tells me "mommy if I get scaced I will call you at night!" And my younger toddler still cries when he needs something at night (like he is sick, needs water, etc etc).
@rcg224
4 ай бұрын
there are many different methods. we did the 2min 5 min 10min check in method. it's amazing . u never let them cry for long. but yes , they must cry. I remember it being so much harder on me than it was for the baby. and it ended up changing out lives for the better it took 4 days. he's 18m now and LOVES naptime and bedtime. LOVES his crib
@christinehirabayashi9598
4 ай бұрын
Don't believe in cry it out, look at animals do they ever do this? That is inhumane. We have the best relationship with our son 10yrs later
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
Not all sleep training is cry it out. There are many methods! And you can't tell whether a baby was sleep trained or not based on the relationship they have with their parents.
@cass3561
4 ай бұрын
Some animals also abandon their kids as infants or eat them if they are weak. Should we do that too?
@royalacity
2 ай бұрын
Using animals as an example is terrible. 😅I watched my hamster eat 3 of her babies. Also, the mother of my puppy tried to kill her several times, so......
@vanessapodkomorski942
4 ай бұрын
I’ve had three kids and I have their crib in our room. Eventually they’ll sleep through the night. Maybe it’s 3 months like my daughter or 8 months like my youngest. I don’t think it’s necessary to make them cry it out but that’s just my experience.
@RachelDee
4 ай бұрын
And cry it out can mean so many things too. Times check ins, no check ins, check ins without nursing or picking them up, sitting in the room, staying outside the room, etc etc
@ashleyspianoprogress1341
4 ай бұрын
Lol we're at 9 months and still wakes up every few hours 😭
@vanessapodkomorski942
4 ай бұрын
@@RachelDeeYes that is true!
@vanessapodkomorski942
4 ай бұрын
@@ashleyspianoprogress1341 Some things that help my babies are a sleep sack, sound machine, full belly before bed, sleeping in their own space not next to the boob (they’ll eat all night!), and night time diapers. All babies are different though!
@ashleyspianoprogress1341
4 ай бұрын
@@vanessapodkomorski942 were doing all those things 🤣
@ambersmith1159
4 ай бұрын
Abby you should do a video on your sleep training experience or how you did your sleep training. I would love to watch!
@CTmealplanner6387
4 ай бұрын
You can sleep train without your child crying at all. That’s what my husband and I did with both of our children. Children are capable of self-soothing but they also need to know that you will always be there for them when they need you. Allowing a baby to cry until they fall asleep is cruel.
@juliennetully4814
4 ай бұрын
any tips?
@lunaloveless7234
3 ай бұрын
Exactly. You are literally instilling in them that you won't be there for them and their needs won't be met.
@Amber-kc1gt
3 ай бұрын
It may have worked for your two children, that doesn’t mean it will work for every child. Every single child is different. There is nothing cruel about letting a baby cry if all of their needs have been met and they are just fighting sleep.
@royalacity
2 ай бұрын
It's not cruel at all. It's that YOU feel bad, which doesn't automatically mean they are being traumatized. Just shows a lack of understanding your child's psyche.
@RachelDee
4 ай бұрын
There’s such a spectrum of methods too! Not to mention ways to lay a foundation to build sleep skills on down the road. I feel like there’s so many people that either don’t believe in it at all and are making it worse for their families or they approach it like a textbook way too hard. A moderate approach is possible.
@becky0905
4 ай бұрын
Yes! This!!! There are so many customizable ways to sleep train where you’re letting your baby know you’re there to comfort and console them if they cry, but, they know the tools to be able to self soothe as well!
@thejazzpianist25
4 ай бұрын
Oh dude even the most mild sleep training is sooo heart crushing as a mom 😩 but it's so rewarding and it helps the kid (and parents) sleep so tremendously ❤️👌🏼
@beaubrown3307
4 ай бұрын
Letting your kids “Cry it out” traumatizes them. That’s a scientific fact. When they stop crying they still feel the same amount of fear, but they realize nobody is coming to get them. Put in the elbow grease and sacrifice for your kids. That’s what a parent is…
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
Lol did you even watch the whole short. It doesn't sound like her kid is experiencing fear or stress bc he was sleep trained.
@KB-987
4 ай бұрын
You are correct, letting them cry it has long term repercussions.
@Robinv0224
4 ай бұрын
There are multiple sleep training methods. Also it’s not like they leave their child in their crib for hours. I’m sure it’s 15-30 min and if their kid can’t go to sleep they go in and soothe them. The older generation’s version of “cry it out” is very different from this generation’s
@dolphynlvr4
4 ай бұрын
Sleep training is not leaving your child to cry all night.
@lornabaez3803
4 ай бұрын
I agree, especially for stay at home moms. I don't believe in forcing another human to sleep and eventually all babies regulate their sleep anyway.
@abblebabblez
4 ай бұрын
Makes my heart happy to know that I didn’t sleep train any of my 4 kids, despite having short gaps between them all. 16 months between 1st and 2nd. 2 years between 2nd and 3rd, and 3rd and 4th. The sleep regressions were challenging (looking at you 4 month sleep regression 🖕🏼), but very short lived, and my kids were all in their own room, on a floor bed at around the 7 month mark.
@monika-1315
4 ай бұрын
💪❤️ How did you do that?
@godfirst6629
4 ай бұрын
Yes what was your method to putting them to sleep?!
@urmotha976
4 ай бұрын
okay good for you…? makes my heart happy that my mom sleep trained us with those same gaps between 4 children… if you weren’t aware children cry when they are tired bc they simply don’t know how to regulate emotion! my mom always knew if it was a tired cry or a sick cry. none of us had a single sleep regression.
@ShakirahIbaad
4 ай бұрын
Lucky you, it doesn’t work that way for everyone. My children’s sleep was so bad I could never have survived that long with severe sleep deprivation, and neither could they. My first child hated co sleeping and contact napping, and my second could only co sleep whilst constantly being attached to the breast.
@IngridFelfly
3 ай бұрын
@@ShakirahIbaad how were you able to stop doing the cosleep with nursing and around what age if you don't mind me asking please?
@maclainenoxon4586
4 ай бұрын
I’m not a cry-it-out mom but am tired of the keyboard warriors who judge the cry-it-out moms. The world just watched the baby Jailyn case. THAT’S neglect. Fifteen minutes, for the sake of your sanity or sleep training, is not. What you need to do as a parent to multiple kids, as a single mom, etc. is fine by me when your kids are loved and healthy.
@abigailloar956
4 ай бұрын
Seriously, thank you!
@mstayinghome
3 ай бұрын
We did the CIO method at 5 months and it was amazing for the whole family. Baby girl no longer has anxiety around sleep (she puts herself to sleep for bedtime and every nap) and she is a MUCH happier little person overall because she gets the quantity and quality sleep she needs.
@anniefranssen5440
4 ай бұрын
I think every child is different and parents have to look at each case separately. My first needed to be sleep trained and now loves her night routine. My second has been much easier and seems to have got it by herself. I will say though that if you set up good routines from the day baby is born, then sleep training will not be too difficult, but again every child is different!
@shannonbullock2202
4 ай бұрын
This is 100% the best advice u can give to parents at any stage of their children’s lives. Every child is different so the approach has to be different. I think “middle child syndrome” is the outcome of parents trying to force their 2nd child to accept the exact same parenting as the 1st child. By the 3rd child parents realize they have to adjust things…so that 2nd child always feels like they were an afterthought when in reality it was just lack of understanding that their children are all different until the 3rd.
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
Yes!!! If I had my 3rd baby first, I think I'd be tempted to look down on parents who sleep train (like SO many of the comments here). He's the easiest baby ever. But he's my 3rd. My first two... Goodness. Sleep training was a necessity for the sake of the entire family! I wish these commenters had a baby like my first two so they could walk a mile in someone else's shoes before they judge.
@user-sg5zy5co6w
4 ай бұрын
Ummmm how bout sleep train them when they can understand they are old enough to sleep alone in their own bed?????? Doesn’t that make sense to you
@ShakirahIbaad
4 ай бұрын
@@user-sg5zy5co6w Co sleeping wasn’t an option with my first child. She hated it and she didn’t sleep better. She slept in her own cot in my room, but this actually disturbed her sleep more. At 6 months old we sleep trained her and it took 2 nights until she slept through on her own.
@MrsB95750
4 ай бұрын
The ONLY reason the CIO method “works” is because the baby realizes their provider is no longer coming for them. 😞 People should NEVER allow a baby to CIO just so the “parents” can milk the benefits
@juliennetully4814
4 ай бұрын
Any tips then?
@MrsB95750
4 ай бұрын
@@juliennetully4814 Tons what is your baby having trouble in?
@user-to6fi6jk4v
4 ай бұрын
But they do come. After they have gotten their much needed rest. And what’s wrong with milking benefits as the patent? You ever heard of post Partom depression? Maybe it’s just as healthy for the mom or parent to let the baby cry so that she can get a break. It’s not all about the baby. It’s just as important to have a healthy mom. So maybe stop mom shaming and adding to the problem. She even said her baby looks forward to bedtime now. If the baby was traumatized it would hate his bed.
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
It is beneficial for the baby too. Imagine waking up every 30mins all night long. And yes... We were doing all the "right" things to encourage sleep. It's not good for baby's physical growth or brain development. Learning to connect sleep cycles is imperative for baby and, yes, also helps the parents too.
@MrsB95750
4 ай бұрын
@@user-to6fi6jk4v if you are gonna call me a mom Shammer because I say it’s absolutely disgusting to have a newborn or an infant scream so Mom can sit on the couch and get a so-called break as you say it then I will wear that title with absolute pride when we choose to lay down and make kids and have kids and give birth to kids. Guess what it’s no longer about anybody else but the babies needs 100%.
@tam4truth979
4 ай бұрын
How sad. I’ve never seen a cat, dog, monkey, or any other animal ignore their child when they cried. Only humans.
@pineapplelulu7194
3 ай бұрын
Why are you comparing humans to animals
@Miss.Anthropic.
2 ай бұрын
@@pineapplelulu7194because humans are animals?
@pineapplelulu7194
2 ай бұрын
@@Miss.Anthropic. No. Humans are mammals. We aren't "animals" in the context that animals are wild. Also, ferberizing babies is good for the parents and the baby. It's also practiced in the animal kingdom since you want to use that comparison.
@heathermatthews8286
4 ай бұрын
I tried sleep training for a little while but our pediatrician told me to stop trying to sleep train our baby. She would cry and cry until she would vomit and stop breathing. She had a lot of health issues when she was born and was actually wearing a sleep apnea monitor bc her breathing and heart beat would stop. He said the more we tried the worse we were making the situation. That child didn't sleep through the night until she was 3 years old. Our son was also born with the heath issues and had a sleep apnea monitor on 24/7 and we couldn't sleep train him either. He didn't sleep through the night for a long time too. I thought I was gonna die from exhaustion but we figured it out and made it too. Just do what you feel and think is right for your baby. You might have to pivot sometimes but yall will get through it
@aicepsychology
3 ай бұрын
Babies have to disassociate in order to process what's happening
@allisonford4052
3 ай бұрын
I had a similar experience Abby! I was at the end of my rope with helping my daughter sleep. She was waking 6-7 times a night at 9 months old. It only took 3 days of serious crying at night and then her sleep completely transformed. A month later she was almost sleeping through the night! There’s a fine line and everyone is different, but sometimes sleep training is necessary. Even if they have to cry a little!!! You’re doing the best thing for your family.
@alexsimone804
4 ай бұрын
That’s amazing. It’s weird how all kids are so different. Sleep training with my daughter led to her really really hating her crib and being alone in her room. Now at 18 months we just got a floor bed so we can lay with her. Figured we can commit to cuddling her for a nap and bedtime everyday🤷🏽♀️
@sarwall_
4 ай бұрын
Same, I couldn’t do it. It was a little extra work and took more time but we got my daughter a queen floor bed and she understands mommy lays with her to put her to bed and tickle her back, but she has to stay in bed bc it’s important that mommy gets sleep and rest in her own bed so that she’s not cranky and no fun the next day. My daughter is now almost 4 and we’ve had no issues since 😊 she sleeps through the night just fine unless she has to go to the restroom. I don’t regret a single thing. Being able to snuggle them and spend that time when they truly NEED and want you is such a short season that goes by so quickly 🥺 I’ll snuggle my girls and tickle their back until they fall asleep until I’m 100 years old if they’d let me ♥️
@sarwall_
4 ай бұрын
PS how much better is being able to lay down rather than hanging over a crib and breaking your back/ neck every day?!
@TheNerdistheWord
4 ай бұрын
Never sleep trained my son who fought sleep ever since he was born but by around 8 months when he was eating 3 meals a day he finally began to sleep better and enjoyed his bed. They don’t cry forever, they cry for something.
@monika-1315
4 ай бұрын
Exactly, babies' cry is meant to mean something!
@urmotha976
4 ай бұрын
@@monika-1315that’s actually incorrect. babies do not know how to regulate their emotions so when they are super tired they are going to cry because they don’t know that all they need to do is go to sleep. sleep training is the best for them, my mom always knew our cries and knew if there was something wrong like we were sick or if we were just tired.
@monika-1315
4 ай бұрын
@@urmotha976 Babies don't know how to regulate themself. They need parents' help. So they need HELP to calm down and fall asleep.
@urmotha976
4 ай бұрын
@@monika-1315 no try again please, routines are SO important for babies, so teaching them that this time is bed time and that they have to sleep, ensures their ability to self soothe. self soothing is very very important for babies to learn. they will cry MORE when you don’t teach them this and they will not mature emotionally.
@monika-1315
4 ай бұрын
@@urmotha976 I have a high need baby that sometimes needs an hour with me to fall asleep (usually 15 mins, but he has worse days at times). When dad tried to put him to sleep he was histerically crying for 45min. So, sorry, but I trust psychologists more than some random person in comments🤷🏼♀️
@julysun8
3 ай бұрын
I got sleep trained as a child because I literally could not sleep if I wasn't being held my my mother. I can happily say I am not traumatized and I have a fantastic relationship with my parents.
@abigailloar956
4 ай бұрын
Same, i cried the first night but i hadn't slept longer than 2 hours in 6 months. I felt insane and something needed to happen. He was fine and is still a great sleeper. Got a big boy bed at 2 and I've never seen a more excited child over a bed. Just had another and am excited to do it again
@narcolepsyasmr
4 ай бұрын
I never sleep trained. I also never forced my kids to get up. I went to bed when they did and kept the house boring at night. I think they just have it in them that they aren’t missing out on anything at night so might as well sleep. In the morning I try to stay quiet and shower and whatnot so they get 10+ hours but when it’s time for them to get up I just gradually let the sun and open their door to let hallway lights in. When I see them waking I say good morning let them know how much time they have and let them wake up themselves.
@Yep-uhhuh
4 ай бұрын
Yeah I do something similar. Lights out, low noise, and we just create a settled environment where we chill as a family and watch TV; my 3yr old son tells me when he is tired, usually around 8pm and we go to the bedroom to sleep. I do co-sleeping, I like it but I’m about to have another and who knows how the dynamic will shift!
@littlelagoons
4 ай бұрын
I used to be totally against sleep training, but the way I see it now is different kids and different parents need different solutions. If everyone is happy and healthy, who am I to judge
@bethanneteal6699
4 ай бұрын
Believe your gut! It is wrong. Just because they stop crying doesn't mean they are settled. They have just learned that you won't respond to their cries so they stop signaling for you. 😢I cannot imagine doing that to my baby
@bevturner2258
4 ай бұрын
Absolutely agree with you!
@juliennetully4814
4 ай бұрын
How do you know this? Are there studies that show the psychological impact? What is the best way to make a baby fall asleep then if this is “wrong?”
@bevturner2258
4 ай бұрын
@@juliennetully4814 A sleepy baby who is warm and fed falls asleep naturally. You don’t need to “make” them go to sleep.
@user-kz5ru3jp1f
4 ай бұрын
@@juliennetully4814nursing of course. The most natural and logical way.
@bethanneteal6699
4 ай бұрын
@@juliennetully4814 There is a BBC article titled What Really Happens When Babies Are Left to Cry It Out. For some reason KZitem won't let me share a link, but it will pop up if you Google it
@vmb55
4 ай бұрын
I used the Ferber Method and it took three days. With Ferber, you let them cry but you go in and rub their back without talking and then leave. Kids know you are there for them but that you will not succumb. Kids need to learn to self soothe and it literally is over in three or four nights!! Our kids literally put themselves to bed
@pinabrowntrout
4 ай бұрын
Haven’t they said in the past that Abby doesn’t get up with the babies at night? Isn’t they why they sleep in separate rooms and Matt takes the night shift every night. That’s probably why he pushed for sleep training…
@Opo-D
4 ай бұрын
Did they say it was forever? They said a thing, changed it up and now they're saying a new thing. They're new parents figuring things out as they go along, like we all do.
@Katietayx
4 ай бұрын
My son is 5 and still co sleeps. It works for us
@monika-1315
4 ай бұрын
❤️
@user-vw2st4qh5j
4 ай бұрын
I think Matt and Abby are great parents! Alot of y’all are criticizing the sleep training! There’s no need to tell anyone else how to raise their children. These kids are loved and in a safe environment. Abby doesn’t read the comments as it is because the comments get ugly. I understand they put stuff out there for the public but negative comments don’t help anyone. Offering advice is one thing… just be kind.
@ShakirahIbaad
4 ай бұрын
My daughter was the worst sleeper and soothing her or feeding her more didn’t help. At 6 months old we sleep trained her with the ‘cry it out’ method and much to our surprise it only took a couple of days with very little crying. It turned out that going to her every time she woke or cried was actually causing more harm than good. Do what works for your child and your family. Follow all the safety guidelines and play it by ear in terms of whether your baby isn’t ready or isn’t compatible with your chosen sleep training method.
@gabriellaw6546
4 ай бұрын
Legit best thing I’ve ever done. Tried a thousand different methods before cry it out with my oldest. 5-10-15, chair in the room where you gradually move it back until you leave, each one pissed him off more, to the point I didn’t know what to do and was just nursing every hour to calm him down. Eventually was tired enough to do cry it out, and sat outside his room until he finished crying in solidarity. Took him 4 days, and he cried HARD the first night but by the last day he was crying for 3-5 min. My second kid slept trained in 2-3 days barely cried the first day maybe 15 min. Same thing for my third baby. I think that teaching your child to independently sleep is an important skill, and teaching your child to depend on you for sleep for years on end is a problem. My eldest is 5 and I stand by my choice. Don’t let people make you feel bad about this.
@1428monsterdrink
4 ай бұрын
I fought the idea for a long time too. It took two nights and our son was going to bed on his own and now has a regular sleep schedule (almost 7 years old) and he benefits so much from it. Its hard and not for everyone but worth it.
@Zwiebelli
4 ай бұрын
Letting your child cry is no sleep training its cruel. Be there for them as long as they need you to fall asleep. Even if that means you need to sacrifice your free time. And at one point they will understand you are there and trust into that and it will work. And if they need you for a long time be there for them they always have a reason to cry.
@anapuscau2236
4 ай бұрын
I feel the same way! Man, how we will end up missing these moments!
@anapuscau2236
4 ай бұрын
People are still doing sleep training? What is this this? The 80s? Punishing and traumatizing our babies just because they are human and they love us? 😳
@orangejmoothies
4 ай бұрын
sleep training is just like any other type of training for your child. by helping your child learn how to sleep by himself/herself/itself it activates other parts of their brain to develop and become independent individuals. not saying if you dont sleep train your child's brain isnt going to develop but it will in a different way.
@bevturner2258
4 ай бұрын
That “sleep trained” baby has learnt that there is no point in crying because you’re not coming to comfort them. In the beginning they cry until they’re exhausted, then they learn you’re not coming, and they just give up.
@orangejmoothies
4 ай бұрын
@@bevturner2258 it's not about giving up it's learning how to sleep on your own and knowing that youll be okay! when we wake up in the middle of hte night, is the reason we dont cry is bc we think no one is going to help or comfort us and therefoer we give up? nope! it's bc we can put ourselves back to sleep. ofc kids can learn this at a later age. but if you want to give your child the best future possible it's important to go through these tough lessons bc by age three, studies already show a huge significant difference in age development.
@bevturner2258
4 ай бұрын
@@orangejmoothies I’m curious about these studies you refer to and how they relate to sleep training. Could you be more specific so I can look them up?
@orangejmoothies
4 ай бұрын
@@bevturner2258 im not saying that there's direct cause and effect between sleep training and early childhood development achievement. im saying that sleep training is a factor in contributing to child's building blocks which again, already shows a gap in achievement difference starting at age 3 which is wild.
@ruaridevlin4842
4 ай бұрын
u can just tell so much matt loves him when they were talking abt “cookies”
@gardenandcalico
3 ай бұрын
i feel so bad for her. she was right. cry it out has been debunked and can cause attachment issues all the way into adulthood. you can comfort your child and still sleep train them.
@PollyWannaCracker21
4 ай бұрын
Sleep training helped my babies fall asleep faster. If other mamas want to raise their babies in different ways then go for it. No shame to them, but don’t be rude to people for choosing something that works for their family and is scientifically proven not to traumatize a child. So happy it worked for you guys!!
@becky0905
4 ай бұрын
YES!!! The shame parents get for any kind of sleep training is honestly incredible.
@user-kz5ru3jp1f
4 ай бұрын
There is NO scientific evidence that it does not traumatise children. It is a big fat lie.
@bevturner2258
4 ай бұрын
@@user-kz5ru3jp1f Dr Gabor Mate regrets sleep training his kids now that he knows how this negatively impacts a developing brain. He talked about this on the Joe Rogan show.
@Warefamily2024
4 ай бұрын
Instinct is real. Animals don’t let their young cry it out.
@Duckduckobtusegoose
4 ай бұрын
It is a bad thing, that’s why you fought it. It’s completely against human instinct for a reason. A baby cries because it needs its parent, even if that need is comfort that is still a NEED not a WANT. Parents are responsible for taking care of their babies needs. Sleep training is literally just teaching your child you will not be there for them if they need comfort, there’s nothing beneficial about it for the child, only the parents.
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
Actually it can benefit the child as well! Learning to connect sleep cycles and getting good sleep is imperative for their physical and brain development. Imagine if you woke up every 30mins all night long- yeah it's hard on the parents, but it's actually not good for the baby either.
@Duckduckobtusegoose
4 ай бұрын
@@proud2batj87 crying it out doesn’t matter for those things. You can teach those same things while offering the comfort your baby needs. Offering comfort doesn’t mean the baby isn’t sleeping at the right time. Crying it out takes all of the responsibility off of the parent and pushes it to the baby. It’s directly against instinct to let your baby cry by itself for a reason. Babies “crying it out” is something that happens at orphanages or by neglectful parents. It’s choosing to let your baby suffer by themselves for your own benefit, they don’t understand why you aren’t coming and they do NEED YOU FOR COMFORT. An infant or even a toddler shouldn’t be expected to have the tools to soothe themselves. Most adults still need someone when they are sad or overwhelmed, whether that be a parent, friend, partner, etc. Expecting a baby to do what almost adults can’t even do and pretending it’s under the guise of their benefit is just sad. And I did wake up all night every thirty minutes, I had kids and have been there. It’s TOUGH, it’s DRAINING, but it’s my responsibility as a parent to deal with my hardships, not push the responsibility into my innocent babies who just need me after spending 9m growing inside of me. A baby doesn’t magically stop waking up all of the time when people use the CIO method, the baby just stops crying for their parents. Babies have very short sleep cycles and wake frequently, it’s biologically necessary for their survival. It’s assumed to be a biological effort to ward off SIDS. Babies not crying in the middle of the night aren’t magically sleeping 12hrs straight every night after being forced to ball their eyes out with no comfort, they have simply given up calling for parents who never come. They’ve learned that when they are in bed their parents will not come when they need them and give up. It’s sad.
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
@@Duckduckobtusegoose i agree with some of what you've said here, but it's a straw man and not at all what the video or I was talking about. Yes, babies in orphanages who stop crying are emotionally scared and damaged and stop bc they believe nobody is coming for them. Agree. But that is simply not the case with sleep training. My babies still cry because they know that I will respond. If they have a need, day or night, both before and after sleep training, my babies still cry for me and I answer. So clearly, sleep training does not affect babies in the same way that neglecting them in an orphanage does, because those babies stop crying all together and sleep trained babies still cry. If babies are emotionally scarred if we let them cry then all kids must be damaged because, especially if you have more than one kid, sometimes you are in the middle of thing and can't help them right away. Sometimes you have to shower! Or go #2. Or finish cutting up raw chicken and then wash your hands before you can comfort baby. Clearly it isn't problematic to let baby cry for a bit for those reasons, so why is it problematic for them to cry similar lengths of time at night before intervening? The French always wait 5mins before soothing a crying baby at night. Also, I want to clarify that cry it out is not the only method of sleep training. Sleep training does involve some crying, but also includes the things you mentioned to help them learn to connect cycles. Sleep training does not = CIO. Personally, I used Taking Cara Babies method and it worked great for us! I'm glad that you were able to survive and feel good about your decision to wake up every 30mins for months at a time. Personally, I really struggled to be a good mom when my babies were doing that (to be clear, I was still responsible and did not neglect or abuse my kids but I was really struggling). My 3rd kid actually sleeps like a dream and we haven't had to sleep train him. But especially my first never slept 2hrs at a time till after we sleep trained, not exaggerating. I am really happy with my decision to sleep train my kids- my marriage, my personal mental health, and my babies are all better for it.
@haileyjohnson9266
4 ай бұрын
Just to provide a different perspective. We still do a bottle + rock to sleep + transfer to crib at 20 months. My daughter also loves to go “night night” and says “bye bye” to everyone and kicks daddy out cause she’s ready to go to bed lol. You don’t have to sleep train to get this result. Every child is different and you don’t HAVE TO sleep train if it doesn’t work for your family, even though it seems like everyone does it.
@audreygabrielson9462
4 ай бұрын
Tried sleep training my first and it just didn’t work. Every sleep regression or teething episode would mean we had to start all over again and I couldn’t handle the screaming and crying that many times. My second (13 months) will cry so hard she throws up. My doctor said she’s manipulating me by throwing up but I just can’t agree with that. As a single mom now it’s definitely a lot harder too because I don’t get to take turns with anyone. I’m so glad it worked for you though!
@RachelDee
4 ай бұрын
It’s a little more complicated than that. They’re having a physiological response. There’s different schools of thought over what’s in the child and parents best interest when it comes down to the details of how to manage that response. As in more vs less “exposure therapy” measures. My son would head bang for years even when it wasn’t an attention seeking thing. I know a toddler who gets worked up to the point of retching really quickly because she hasn’t had hardly any exposure to when she can’t independently do whatever she wants. It’s hard to know. We’re all trying. It’ll probably be ok in the end whatever you end up doing.
@monicaokungbowa4246
4 ай бұрын
Same!! My son has really bad teething nights where he needs medicine and love and i cant imagine just letting them scream in pain for an hour
@hstafa644
4 ай бұрын
My baby is the exact same! Waiting for the days she starts sleeping the the night 😭
@becky0905
4 ай бұрын
Sleep training is such a hot button topic and I really think the record needs to be set straight here. A lot of times parents are under the assumption that “sleep training” automatically means you’re just letting your baby scream for hours on end or are completely unresponsive to their needs and I have yet to meet one parent who has sleep trained their child who has fallen into either of those categories. There are so many gentle ways to “sleep train” your baby like the pick up/put down method to console or the fading method where you do all of the things that you know help get your baby to sleep but you do them for shorter periods of time each night. I found with my toddler that the more my husband or I intervened in the night when he was under 1, the more worked up he’d get. We took the approach of really paying attention to what he’d do when he woke up in the middle of the night. If he was just more or less making noise but not crying, we knew he would put himself back to sleep and was looking for his pacifier or was in between sleep cycles. If he’d wake up and cry for a minute or two consistently, we knew he either needed to be rocked, changed, or fed and would tend to him. He is an incredible sleeper. It’s perfectly okay if you sleep train and perfectly okay if you’re against it. Everyone is just doing what they feel is best for their family and it’s really a shame that there are people in these comments being so judgmental.
@user-kz5ru3jp1f
4 ай бұрын
Does not really matter how gentle the method is.
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
Yes. I wish your comment could get a pin.
@becky0905
4 ай бұрын
@@proud2batj87 Thank you so much! 💕
@sarahkb99
2 ай бұрын
We sleep trained our 3 month old (who had just recovered from colic and also didn’t want night feeds anymore) and it took just under a week for her to sleep through the night every night. There was no hard core crying out, we put her in her own room, pitch black, loud pink noise machine going, and we would sit by her cot each sleep and very slowly touch her less, and move away further and further so she knew we were there but slowly feeling safe in her own space until we were sitting at the door by the 6th night and she’d fall asleep without any interaction. We also implemented a bedtime routine that was the same every single night so she knew it was coming. Worked a treat and even through sickness and teething she had the skills to be able to self soothe and continue sleeping without us interacting with her. At the young ages it’s all to do with routine and wake windows 😅
@roxie2389
4 ай бұрын
I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old. I sleep trained the 4 year old at 10 months cause she couldn’t put herself to sleep to didn’t know how to self soothe because I hadn’t helped her learn. My two-year-old was always a better sleeper, but I also probably used better sleep habits. My kids are the best sleepers. They sleep drom 8am-7am. They hardly wake up in the night and if they do they know I will go and check on them. The best thing I could do for them was to teach them good sleep habits. Sleep is so important.
@missdann
4 ай бұрын
Um… my mom was one of the moms who left me to cry my lungs out and now I have emotional regulation issues 😅
@joanneralphs217
4 ай бұрын
Sleep training is only for the parents not the child. 😢
@lunaloveless7234
3 ай бұрын
YUP. the fact she doesn't work and think she's supposed to sleep train....
@Amber-kc1gt
3 ай бұрын
Not true at all. Babies have to learn how to put themselves to sleep at some point, that’s a skill they have to be taught. If a baby is waking up way too much during the night, they aren’t getting the sleep that THEY NEED to grow and develop properly. Coddling baby to sleep forever robs them of the opportunity to learn a valuable skill as well as the much needed sleep that they need to be healthy.
@naturalexpression
4 ай бұрын
If it feels wrong, it is wrong. Instincts over old fashioned ideas anyday
@OurFitFamilyof7
3 ай бұрын
💯
@bonjourbanks
4 ай бұрын
I start sleep training at month 2. During the night when baby gets up, just pop a sucky in, and leave… the first week is tough… but if you keep them beside you… keep popping a sucky in every time they cry… and then you leave… they will get it - it’s bedtime! Now when you start to hear them cry, leave them for a minute or so before popping a sucky in. Both of my babies slept like a dream after one month old!
@kathrinmariakrause5351
4 ай бұрын
Yeah, you trained them to not rely on you for help
@anapuscau2236
4 ай бұрын
Omg! Sounds horrible! 😢
@mmmmmmmm1942
4 ай бұрын
Sleep training is neglect. Babies will learn to sleep. It’s fine.
@Kelly-fk3lu
4 ай бұрын
2 of my 3 daughters did sleep training with my grandchildren. After you get it down with the first child. Your sold and there is just no other way. T The worst part is when you are the gigi and your wanting to just pop by and play cause your ( in the neighborhood) THERE IS NO BEND ON THEIR SLEEP SCHEDULE LOL. There are no exceptions or previsions made for grandparents stopping by lol
@SJrtl
4 ай бұрын
My youngest ( almost 5 years old) just learned how To sleep through night on her own bed without coming to my room It took ALOT of patience and time
@rebeccazeman9309
4 ай бұрын
I absolutely HATE that people are so judgemental about this. The only study I've seen that says it causes trauma to the baby is the study they did where they neglected the child. Not just CIO but like neglected and left the child in the crib most of the day and night. I'm sure I'll get people reply to me saying I'm wrong but unless someone posts a study i haven't seen i don't believe it. And this is coming from a mom who did not CIO with my son. I used pick up put down so my son barely cried. He's over 2 and i still respond to any time he cries bc he only cries when he needs something. My son also loves his crib and knows he's safe in there.
@saskia7128
4 ай бұрын
Not one animal in the wild would not respond to their young crying out. But for some reason human thinks we need to let our babies let it cry out, like you wont be tricking me into coming back and getting you, you poor crying baby wont have the upper hand on me.
@Bluekitten76
4 ай бұрын
That's cute! We sleep trained our first cried. Then I got what is called a crib fish tank soother and it has lights and sounds. We turned them on and then he would to self soothe. That worked the best for us!
@mjc0912
3 ай бұрын
It does traumatise your children. Honestly read up about it. It literally changes your child's brain.
@madelynrowe
4 ай бұрын
I sleep trained my twins at 6 months old and it was the best decision I could’ve ever made. It’s really tough emotionally, but it is beneficial for them and for you.
@tristinrayment9742
4 ай бұрын
my baby started sleeping in her own room through the night at 1 month old. every other night we have a bath at 8:30. other nights we just get pjs on at 8:30. we do maybe 1-2 feedings and she’s usually asleep by 10. i wake up anywhere from 5:30-7 and if she hasn’t waken me up i wake her up for a feed then she goes back to sleep until anywhere between 8-9:30. i’m also nursing and she eats more often than other babies at her age. she’s almost three months old and she only goes about 1.5 hours between feeds. everytime she eats i feed her until she pulls herself off. she has great weight gain. she gained almost 4 pounds from her one month appointment to her 2 month appointment. crazy how different babies are.
@UniDocs_Mahapushpa_Cyavana
4 ай бұрын
Humans are the only animal who cries 😭. So it is just them practicing humanity's signature ability.
@samanthasiqueira2587
4 ай бұрын
I couldn't do it, i still nurse to sleep my almost 2 year old. It feels very wrong to me, I really can't stand my baby crying.. but also sleep training it's not a thing in my culture where the marjority co sleep.
@courtneyarmstrong5602
4 ай бұрын
I couldn't do it for our first child, and at 3 yrs she is awful at putting herself back to sleep and staying in her room. We did sleep training with son and he looks forward to go to bed too!!! And he sleeps so great!!!! I wish I would have done it for our first.
@CommentsBeCrazy
4 ай бұрын
Rocked my first two kids to sleep when they were babies, then I had twins… I just couldn’t do it. So I let them cry it out (hurt my heart) but after two nights they learned to self soothe themselves and would go right to sleep! I kinda wished I had done that with my older two! 😂
@karinajeffries4211
4 ай бұрын
We only have such a short time with our babies, co sleeping is the best way to connect with your baby. I cant imagine not being with my baby at night. I have 3 kids from 9 to 1 and they still sleep with us. Me and my husband always talk about how we will have sooo much more time just me and him than we ever will with our kids, so that's why we co sleep.
@SarahLuv10
4 ай бұрын
Co sleeping is a life saver
@j.a.1721
4 ай бұрын
That co-sleeping is so taboo, but sleep training is pretty common seems so weird to me. In my country it's the opposite.
@RachelDee
4 ай бұрын
We seek to integrate our kids most into what we do during the day. We feel that gives us maximum benefits of being a connected family while maintaining a marital identity apart from them.
@Yep-uhhuh
4 ай бұрын
Yeah I’m a fan of co sleeping…it just feels right, safe.
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
If you do it, just make sure you've researched how to do it safe. It really is safer to have baby in their own bed, but I totally understand why people chose to co-sleep and have many friends who do. I personally don't feel comfortable with it, especially bc we have a very soft mattress
@laurelandrea7278
4 ай бұрын
That's amazing guys honestly, you proved that even though it was hard it was obviously for the best and you guys have nailed bed time! Which when you think about it of course this is good for the baby and parents!
@jlongino51823
4 ай бұрын
It’s perfectly okay to let a kid cry a little bit. Y’all coddling them every time they make a noise is more traumatic to them than letting them cry. They’re gonna be fine. You heard them both say that he was fine and excited about his own bed. It’s not traumatizing to let them cry and figure it out on their own.
@Zwiebelli
4 ай бұрын
He said He cried so hard. Thats not a little bit crying.
@sfarheenhassany9848
4 ай бұрын
You can't spoil a baby they're literally a baby and need cuddles and love to survive and self regulate. They dont have emotional maturity so they rely on their parents to help them soothe. You can give your kids self soothing tools but you are the final tool and letting your baby cry for hours is inhumane and won't teach them to soothe it teaches them you will never help them at night. Ever seen an adult need rocking to sleep? No. All kids grow out of it eventually. But kids need their parents for comfort.
@myfriendjustin8381
4 ай бұрын
Has anyone ever talked about how traumatized they were after their parents left them in a dark room to go to bed when they were 6 months old? So relatable right
@bevturner2258
4 ай бұрын
Just because you have no memory doesn’t mean there was no impact.
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
😂😂😂💯
@shaindyhorowitz3783
4 ай бұрын
Yes!!! I had the same experience!!
@georgialee5032
4 ай бұрын
Sleep training was the best thing I did for my twins ❤
@thejazzpianist25
4 ай бұрын
I appreciate you guys talking about this. Too many people hate on any form of sleep training at all and it's like. Come on y'all what am I supposed to do, never sleep and let my kid never sleep too? 🤪
@becky0905
4 ай бұрын
This!!!! It’s important for babies to learn how to sleep and how to self soothe on their own! The shame people get for any kind of sleep training (and there are several types - not just CIO) is awful.
@thejazzpianist25
4 ай бұрын
Yeah. I think a lot of people hear sleep training and think it means just locking your kid in a room forever and ever til they stop crying... And it's just not that @@becky0905
@becky0905
4 ай бұрын
@@thejazzpianist25Oh totally!! I have never met a parent who just let their kid cry for hours and hours. And I’d venture to say that pretty much every parent that is “so against sleep training” has done some of the sleep training methods without even realizing they’re doing it.
@user-kz5ru3jp1f
4 ай бұрын
Nature tells you that you are supposed to cosleep and nurse your baby.
@virginianielsen3480
4 ай бұрын
I think the reason some people are so adamant is because they see that cosleeping works for them and think everyone should do it (I’m not against sleep training myself but I never dealt with serious sleep deprivation and didn’t have to deal with any kind of training because I could just nurse him to sleep). The kids end up fine either way and eventually sleep in their own beds regardless so I don’t think people need to worry about what other families choose to do 😅
@Anonmissus
4 ай бұрын
Yesssssssss it’s the best choice we ever made with our last baby. He’s 3 and still loves to night night. My middle sleeps on his bed in our room most the night then up with us.
@LL-om9gy
4 ай бұрын
I’m sorry but no. I won’t let my child cry so hard that they give up and sleep out of being tired. My daughter still sleeps next to us and she gets moved into her bed to sleep for the rest of the night and she’s almost 4. Sleep has always been a positive experience because she trusts she can be with mom or dad or both. And I know some day when she’s old enough to not need us, I will miss every second of this.
@lostbbqproductions6263
4 ай бұрын
You're a stay at home mom, why do you even need to sleep train? It is abuse. They're BABIES. They need to sleep close to mom and dad to feel safe, this is totally nornal. Good lord.
@anapuscau2236
4 ай бұрын
It’s funny how she chooses to sleep train her babies and let them cry their little heart out without any attention or consolation, yet she cries non-stop during podcasts and expect her dufus of a husband to console her all the time.
@leslychavez211
4 ай бұрын
My son too, lots of women bashed on us who sleep trained our 4 month old at the time. IDC he has very good sleep patterns, he is so independent and doesn't fight us NEVER when it's bed time. He too points to his bed 😅❤
@GMJC1206
4 ай бұрын
Good for you! Sleep trained my daughter at 6 months too and it was the best decision.
@virginianielsen3480
4 ай бұрын
I think there are honestly terrible sleep training *methods* out there but sounds like you two had your sons best interests in mind. I’ve enjoyed cosleeping and wouldn’t change a thing because it worked beautifully for our family, and I simply didn’t want to go through that crying phase (plus I worked late nights so sleep training wouldn’t have worked anyways 😅).
@jetah1867
3 ай бұрын
It feels wrong cause it is. When your baby is crying they’re alone and scared it’s dark it’s traumatizing
@kaelyn7628
4 ай бұрын
I also enjoy going night night in my crib at night (and also at all other hours of the day)
@Essouza81
4 ай бұрын
Humans do enjoy their own space. Even infants.
@janasweeney8494
4 ай бұрын
Do what works for you obviously but that horrible feeling that you feel is there for a reason. We sleep train because society tells us how to parent and people clap if your child is sleep trained and you get the sleep and can 'function as expected' at work or in general. So just a nod to all parents who did this and are sorry because they see how it did more harm than good and for those who think that they have to 'overcome' the instinct, I see you.
@proud2batj87
4 ай бұрын
I personally don't know anyone who sleep trained and regretted it 🤷
@janasweeney8494
4 ай бұрын
@@proud2batj87good for you, at least you never have to question your (or their) choices.
@cjxo6
4 ай бұрын
*Abby what’s your nail color?! It looks so good on you!*
@momberry95
Ай бұрын
Lol. You don't have to let them cry it out to get to this later on.
@CarolienJansen
4 ай бұрын
Hello hello, how did you guys do it? I have tried sleeptraining with my son but still no succes. I know at the end for him it is the best because I see him so tired, that I feel bad and want to try everything to make him feel better. Thank you in advance.
@laurenswift9368
4 ай бұрын
Sleep training is one of the best things you can do for a happy home. No regrets. 4 times 🎉
@222222ania
3 ай бұрын
They will grow up to be hateful emotionally detached men thanks to you guys
@yvonne8786
23 күн бұрын
@@222222ania WOW lol!! Just going through your comments. Are you ok??
@katherineadams4447
4 ай бұрын
Ya because thats what adults blame their parents for.....you let me cry when i was an infant.
@juliemaggio1246
4 ай бұрын
I didn't let mine cry cry. I let her whine a little bit but once she cried a real cry I would console her but not pick her up. You shouldn't let them cry for real for a long time. It actually can cause issues to let them cry without helping. But whining is okay.
@Greenwood13
4 ай бұрын
Abby seems like she was having a hard time self regulating her emotions and was seeking validation from science/like minded individuals that backed her biases. It's good she realised she could let go. Kids are great at self soothing and not sharing sleeping quarters with your kids and pacifying them every instant is not an indicator by which to measure parental love or care.
@DarkQueen619
4 ай бұрын
Okay but sleep training your kids at 6 months is a lot different the sleep training at 6 weeks. I think you can traumatized your child if your method is just lay them down and walk away when they are just 6 weeks old. Really there are a lot of great sleep training methods now that are so much more effective.
@RachelDee
4 ай бұрын
Agreed. That’s where I draw a line. No decent sleep coach recommends formal sleep training before 3ish months.
@lillymurray8408
4 ай бұрын
Sleep training is so horrible… don’t you look at all the studies? Jesus Christ. I have multiple degrees in early childhood development. Sleep training is looked down upon, extremely. Not okay…
@RybugAndBros
4 ай бұрын
Poir Griff
@stephjose9401
4 ай бұрын
We never sleep trained, it didn't feel right or work for us.
@peacebewithyou22
4 ай бұрын
Its wrong, babys cry because they want to be with their mom.....it maybe easy for you now but you trauatized your child...
@stepherheifer9827
4 ай бұрын
Yeah cause I didn’t sleep train and I regret it now because she won’t go to sleep unless i snuggle her in our bed and hold her arms and she screams and fights and kicks me and it’s awful or I have to nurse her to sleep on my lap and I can’t move or she wakes up or I wait till she is exhausted and then fighting her isn’t as bad to sleep. I wish we would have dont the sleep training when she was younger but now she is 20 months and I’m pregnant it’s just been very hard.
@melBea123
4 ай бұрын
You can still do it, it will be hard but you have the motivation to do it , a new baby!
@royalacity
2 ай бұрын
I'm realizing Abby is very out of touch. It's not her fault though, shes a pretty young mom and very reactive. Im grateful for having older parents who have more experience and a deep understanding of human behavior and bigger picture thinking.
@WiltedKuwaitSalad
4 ай бұрын
Nah I go slept until the year mark. Then he wanted to go in his own “bed”. 🤷♀️😂
Пікірлер: 318