1447 Colbert Report and 1447 of the Late Show, and I have loved every single show. Thank you, Stephen Colbert, for all the laughs and all the joy!
@adepontes86
8 ай бұрын
Congrats on 1447 episodes! Loved the Colbert Report, and love this show. Colbert Nation Forever!!!
@WyvernYT
8 ай бұрын
I missed whether he was nerdy enough to observe episode 1337.
@Sven-v8s3b
8 ай бұрын
1447 is prime.
@Pulsar597
8 ай бұрын
Too bad the 1447 episodes of Colbert Report were so much funnier than this show. 😢
@thl205
8 ай бұрын
@@Pulsar597 it was such a genius premise and I wish I could hear that Fake Colbert's in-character take on the news every single day for the rest of my life but there's no way he could've passed up a gig like the Late Show. It was not meant to be. Segments like these get close to the Colbert magic tho.
@Woodbug-b7t
8 ай бұрын
@@thl205 & @Pulsar597 Agree with both of you, that's Colbert's forte in action.
@sheHerTheyThem
8 ай бұрын
I wished @stephencolbert read these comments because I'm sitting here in tears,realizing as he held up the sign stating 1147 or whatever & him speaking about the 'Colbert Report' that I am NOW watching the VERY same person, that my 7 years deceased son used to watch.. I had no clue,never made the connection in 7 years since losing him,that HE is that person,that used to entertain my sin every night and I could hear him laugh.thank you so much Stephen for making my sweet son laugh in the few short years he was on this earth
@snideaugustine2143
8 ай бұрын
The joke about "Evie flipping him like an omlet" was 10/10!
@nbbim2012
8 ай бұрын
Just when we couldn't love Evie anymore, she messes with Stephen to stop him snoring disturbing her beauty sleep lol
@dasstigma
8 ай бұрын
Yea man, she literally thought: "Hey, how can I make the KZitempeople happier? And then had the idea just yesterday. It's not like she has been doing that for decades. She waited with that until you could not love her any more and then she put one on top to really mess with your brain. Evvie only thinks of you and aims to make you happy. Well spotted, sir! You should at least write a Thank you note.
@pnkemp
8 ай бұрын
Evie needs no beauty sleep, she’s damn near perfect.
@fauxjaux
8 ай бұрын
Laughed out loud
@goodtroublemaker143
8 ай бұрын
Who doesn’t love Evie anymore? I couldn’t love her any more.
@mariekastler5391
8 ай бұрын
It's Not about the beauty sleep: apnea leads to heart attacks: she's trying to extend his Ever-Loving life. THANKS, EVIE❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
@trm4life
8 ай бұрын
I thought the joke was going to be the toothbrush saying "Slower, other side, ok now harder, careful not too hard, yeah just like that, almost done, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop.... now spit on me!" 😂
@dianedenham5259
8 ай бұрын
😂
@dianewilliams1125
8 ай бұрын
😅😅😅
@chrissiek8706
8 ай бұрын
"swallow. Don't spit. Gooood boy...."
@TheZotmeister
8 ай бұрын
Underrated comment.
@thl205
8 ай бұрын
haha, I like this variation
@Alex-js5lg
8 ай бұрын
I can't wait to find out if the Sorting Brush puts me in Colgate or Crest. I just hope I don't end up in Sensodyne...
@elizabethgrogan8377
8 ай бұрын
😂
@askylibrarianoftheoceans4102
8 ай бұрын
Plot twist, you're off to Aquafresh
@ammaleslie509
8 ай бұрын
Not Sensodyne...not Sensodyne...
@maximeprometheas
8 ай бұрын
Perfect response to someone trying to sell you an electric toothbrush: "I only use acoustic toothbrushes."
@Leel3ones89
8 ай бұрын
Holy shit Stephen was on fire during this segment. Showing everyone he earned those 1447 episodes.
@ammaleslie509
7 ай бұрын
Oh yeah...this one went immediately on the STC A+ playlist
@dshepherd107
8 ай бұрын
Laughed my 🍑 off. Very funny, in a dark pre-apocalyptic way 😂. I had not intended to live during this time in history. It’s not gonna be a fun ride, but at least I’ve got Stephen
@jeffk412
8 ай бұрын
wait... we had a choice of times in history to be born?!
@MonkeyJedi99
8 ай бұрын
@@jeffk412 Wait. You didn't? Ha! I kid.
@glennmartin6492
8 ай бұрын
It recognises 9,000 birds. "Well that one's Carl."
@robkunkel8833
8 ай бұрын
Wonder if it can make cat noises? … just to make it more interesting.
@GoodKactus
8 ай бұрын
This is the hardest I've laughed at a segment in a long time. Great job writing staff!
@kestrelpounces
8 ай бұрын
Congratulations!!! Wait, does this mean you would have hit this milestone by New Year’s if it weren’t for that pesky appendix’s murder attempt? 🤔We’ve loved you since TDS, and still even miss The Repor(t) occasionally, but you remain incomparable in all you do! We’re so glad you’re okay, and back to keep us laughing at life’s terrifying absurdities! ❤
@tinas_hotdog_sophie
8 ай бұрын
"pesky appendix’s murder attempt" made me laugh out loud and now I feel bad :P
@FloydGirl51
7 ай бұрын
@@tinas_hotdog_sophie No need to feel bad because it is a hilarious turn of phrase! 😂
@frankcarter7146
8 ай бұрын
"This pond sucks, needs more computers!" Thoreau 😅😅😅❤
@rh_697
8 ай бұрын
unhinged Stephen is best Stephen
@Ivehadenuff
8 ай бұрын
I loved the Colbert Report. I am a longtime fan of Stephen Colbert.❤
@agentorange81
8 ай бұрын
Long live and reign "the Repor' may its super PAC not be forgotten
@nudelsuppe6880
8 ай бұрын
He is on fire today.
@whyhatestrangers
8 ай бұрын
Oh man, that toothbrush bit was perfect 🤣
@simonbarnes7620
8 ай бұрын
Now I want a coffee maker terminator head that laughs
@ChakatStripedfur
8 ай бұрын
I hate to break it to ya, bud, but that head ain't laughing. xD
@elram2649
8 ай бұрын
NGL, those binocs are great!
@jstnxprsn
8 ай бұрын
I want the anti-snoring My Pillow. It wakes you up by whispering "You will seize all the voting machines!"
@Ze_Moose
8 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@user-fy7ru4ii1i
8 ай бұрын
THAT is funny.
@jayburn00
8 ай бұрын
To be honest that would terrify me, scaring the snore out of me, especially if it was in lindell's voice. Don't know why.
@Bloody_RedQueen
8 ай бұрын
My nightmare pillow
@jstnxprsn
8 ай бұрын
@@user-fy7ru4ii1i I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip the waitstaff. LOLOL
@latexchariot
8 ай бұрын
Congrats on the 1447 episodes! We’ve loved every one!
@heartofdawn2341
8 ай бұрын
AI girlfriends run by large corporations. No thanks. "I know you are feeling down about me not being real, but here's what will cheer you up; Amazon Prime Video, now ad free for an additional $2.99 per month. Love you"
@dianewilliams1125
8 ай бұрын
😅😅😅
@vsznry
8 ай бұрын
ChatGPT in a car sounds like a really bad fucking idea. Especially if it just makes stuff up.
@vsznry
8 ай бұрын
Why cant they just combine it with Alexa and make her speech patterns more natural, but she's looking up the Internet for information... instead of pulling crap outta her power port.
@Alex-js5lg
8 ай бұрын
@@vsznrythey're already doing that. By combining different functions, it can limit the amount of inaccuracies. GPT4 has internet browsing capabilities and can provide sourced information. There are also extensions for specific topics and functions.
@kasnitch
8 ай бұрын
Wait until they try to convince us that having GPT do the driving is more better as well . I don't do koolaid .
@krisfrederick5001
8 ай бұрын
The best Cyborgasm ever...That Evie story killed me 😂
@richardmiller9883
8 ай бұрын
Imagine the cop walks up and asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and ChatGPT tries to answer for you...
@DeadInside-ew8qb
8 ай бұрын
ChatGPT would totally rat you out when the officer asks how fast you were going.
@stoferb876
8 ай бұрын
@@DeadInside-ew8qb Yep. It would rat you up most of the time, and occasionally also make up crimes you didn't commit and thus significantly prolonging your interaction with the police.
@MonkeyJedi99
8 ай бұрын
We don't need MORE distractions for the driver in cars! We need to get rid of the touchscreens AND the "rent the feature that is already built into your car" baloney. A vehicle is to get us and our things (groceries, pets, laundry, etc.) from point to point in a safe manner that is hopefully economical and as environmentally friendly as possible. NOT entertain us!!!
@MonkeyJedi99
8 ай бұрын
@@stoferb876 I can actually imagine it. cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" driver: "I am not obligated to help you investigate me." car: "Is it because he is donating money to the secret chapter of the Shriners to help fund their assassination academy for the separated children of illegal immigrants?"
@DeadInside-ew8qb
8 ай бұрын
@@MonkeyJedi99 they’re teaching those kids to pop out of those little cars of theirs
@JohnTLyon
8 ай бұрын
Obey your toothbrush...!
@Jo-oc-0
8 ай бұрын
Can we get an Anti-Mike-Lindell-Pillow.
@SpaceForceCommander
8 ай бұрын
Mike Johnson’s toothbrush told him that he was chosen by “God” to be the House Speaker.
@jlvfr
8 ай бұрын
Clean win?
@RickTBL
8 ай бұрын
@@jlvfr Unfortunately, it was after Jerry Seinfeld dropped it in the toilet.
@robkunkel8833
8 ай бұрын
TOOTHBRUSH… “God says … gargle … with a non-lusting noise, please. I’m only a toothbrush. I have natural inert molecular desires like any other talking toothbrush.”
@milosterwheeler2520
8 ай бұрын
Those binoculars sound like a military invention. Anything that can identify that many birds can identify an equal number of aircraft.
@Ze_Moose
8 ай бұрын
Gotta agree with you
@WyvernYT
8 ай бұрын
I'm imagining a military unit that gets issued excessively smart binoculars that can see in poor conditions, have great optics, and are aware that military hardware exists - but really want to look at and talk about the local birds, and don't care if there's a war going on.
@eduardoandres5989
8 ай бұрын
kinda thought the same.......... in the wild...snipers also use tech similar to this,..........somewhat. xD
@mho...
8 ай бұрын
well, augmented reality *IS* the future!
@pazz6708
8 ай бұрын
Or people.
@OneViolentGentleman
8 ай бұрын
That transparent tv seems like such an unbelievably stupid idea! 😂
@faithlesshound5621
8 ай бұрын
Oh, I don't know ... I had a transparent alarm clock. Somehow, after the battery ran down, I saw no need to replace it.
@francisboyle1739
8 ай бұрын
A transparent TV sounds like a bad idea due to the general lack of transparent TV shows. On the other hand it will probably save a heap on the effects budget in sci fi movies.
@OneViolentGentleman
8 ай бұрын
@@francisboyle1739 damn u! I spilled my coffee! 🤣
@TheMonroemomma
8 ай бұрын
Unless, like me, your TV is in front of a window. So my tv blocks the natural light to the living room, and the clear tv would be so much better for us because of the layout of our living room.
@TheLastChickenWing
8 ай бұрын
lmao hearing him talk about he and evie and the snoring was gold. I do the same shameless crap to my husband. I always called it, "flipping him over like a burrito" hahaha
@murphyslaw942
8 ай бұрын
My sister with Perforated eardrums has been appreciating how many bone conducting products have been coming out. Because she can hear some of it better.
@JakubNeustadt
8 ай бұрын
It absolutely has its uses, but why a toothbrush? :D
@murphyslaw942
8 ай бұрын
@@JakubNeustadt Never know who could benefit from it, special needs folks are the first who pop into my brain. Lol
@gorak9000
8 ай бұрын
@@JakubNeustadt Why does even a regular electric toothbrush have bluetooth these days? They just shove useless crap into everything and then charge more because "look at all the (useless) features it has" - yes, I really want to track my brushing schedule so I can post about it on tiktok - it's f'ing stupid
@jayebullock8002
8 ай бұрын
I'm pretty sure this is old technology. When I was a kid, they used to have these toothbrushes that would play music for 2 minutes. Same general principle.
@wtf1185
8 ай бұрын
@@gorak9000 🤣🤣🤣 Absolutely, It's like a competition to see who can put the most useless crap in other useless crap and have people flocking to buy the most useless crap ever.
@JaxsonGalaxy
8 ай бұрын
This was a particularly good one! 😂
@tompatchak8706
8 ай бұрын
I was sooooooo mad when I saw that Steven was leaving the Colbert Report. Like how could he do this to me!!! But then, after a few of these episodes I started getting into it!! Colbert report has some great memories, but Late Night was Steven’s calling and he kills it every time!! Congratulations on this many, and here’s to many more!!!
@YearsinSeason
8 ай бұрын
I can’t believe that’s how many shows you’ve done. I’ve seen EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM over the years! Thank you for all the laughs!!!🎉
@orchidquest
8 ай бұрын
Best Cyborgasm EVER!
@sib183
8 ай бұрын
i love that he honored 1447 and never explained it.
@wadewilson9751
8 ай бұрын
This episode alone deserves an Emmy.
@mlbrooks4066
8 ай бұрын
Remember 40 years ago when they sold cars that talked? Remember your BIL going ballistic when it said “Please close the door,” once too often? Remember talking Coca Cola machines? No, this is not a joke and there’s a reason we don’t have them anymore. Nobody wanted to hear machines “helping” them.
@talltrini10
8 ай бұрын
I like to think people were smarter back then, or at least less lazy
@MonkeyJedi99
8 ай бұрын
@@talltrini10 People were not smarter. They were just actually educated instead of trained to pass a test required for graduation.
@keonabane
8 ай бұрын
This isn't about the voice aid, it's about stuffing AI into everything and anything to ride the hype train.
@themoose0221
8 ай бұрын
LONG LIVE THE COLBERT REPORT!
@kuzzbillington6392
8 ай бұрын
So, the anti-snoring pillow... does it work because it just keeps you up all night?
@blacxthornE
8 ай бұрын
whatever it takes
@kingjamos2422
8 ай бұрын
I have an anti-snoring pillow that only wakes you up once before sending you into a much deeper sleep. The pillow needs to be placed firmly over the face to work, though. There is always a catch!
@malteschaper3782
8 ай бұрын
This segment was absurd! I love it!
@joeyreliford705
8 ай бұрын
The Colbert Report was brilliant and hilarious 😂
@johna1427
8 ай бұрын
The Colbert Report was so brilliant and the farewell episode will always live with me - we did meet again, Stephen (thank goodness)
@dianewilliams1125
8 ай бұрын
I'm with you! I was afraid we'd never see him again! PEACE! 😊😊😊
@TheRogueWolf
8 ай бұрын
Can the AI in those binoculars tell the user to stop creeping on the neighbor while she's doing yoga?
@disky01
8 ай бұрын
2:02 "You ever just feel like it's the end? Like...like we're living through the end?" Every day, Stephen. Every single day.
@slarson231
8 ай бұрын
Great Reagan assassination attempt reference! 😂 dying!
@cheknfaks
8 ай бұрын
4 out of 5 survey dentist recommend you'll be institutionalized if you're caught talking to your tooth brush regularly.
@lemondropkid6175
8 ай бұрын
fun fact 1447th anniversary is traditionally honoured with gifts of Made In Taiwan human shaped pillow with AI capabilities
@Chris-ev5ok
8 ай бұрын
Evie is the best! 😂
@billberg1264
8 ай бұрын
I'm more of a Leafeon guy.
@daniellecrevier970
8 ай бұрын
The part where Stephen talks about his wife stopping him from snorring made me almost spit my coffee onto my computer.
@susanbradleyskov9179
8 ай бұрын
That transparent tv is going to mess my cat up really badly. The feline is still trying to figure out where the cute kitten went.
@Kr0N05
8 ай бұрын
Congrats. And congratulations to your writing team; i think they may the best of the late shows.
@ericbrammer2245
8 ай бұрын
Carry on, to a Higher Tally of Fun, Wisdom, Guests, and Music! Colbert, you are Jack Benny's Legacy.
@jamesboardman7048
8 ай бұрын
I loved the Colbert report his spoof on being a Republican
@DNTXPCTMCH
8 ай бұрын
I love hearing stories of Stephen and Evie 😂❤
@yurielcundangan9090
8 ай бұрын
Make America Biden again Make America Biden again
@SpaceForceCommander
8 ай бұрын
You don’t need an anti-snoring pillow. Your partner needs a noise-cancelling pillow.
@Landrassa1
8 ай бұрын
All pillows are noise-canceling if placed carefully over the head of the snorer and leant on.
@markmh835
8 ай бұрын
@@Landrassa1-- Good one!! 😁😁😁👍❤😲😣
@patchesconway5957
8 ай бұрын
I've had Singing Toothbrushs
@klaatubaradanikto6554
8 ай бұрын
AI, from the ridiculous to the terrifying.
@witchypoorose5196
8 ай бұрын
Tee hee! He and Evie are the CUTEST couple! That snoring story is hilarious! And the marketing to the bones bit! 😂🤣
@Hailstormand
8 ай бұрын
The Bone Brush I can't even
@Ryan256
8 ай бұрын
Best Cyborgasm segment yet! 😂
@emkirus
8 ай бұрын
Congratulations to you, Stephen, and all your team! 🎉💖🥳
@viperswhip
8 ай бұрын
The Virtual Girlfriend is definitely being funded by the FBI
@robertfoerster566
8 ай бұрын
I think that coffee maker could sell!
@TheReubenShow
8 ай бұрын
Good show tonight, Colbert. You still got it.
@AaronandbriEnne
8 ай бұрын
The clear tv just makes it easier for Lucy to pretend to be on TV so Ricky will put her in the next commercial. No more needing to gut the TV cabinet.
@Adro-sp
8 ай бұрын
Congrats on making it out of the Shire, and good luck on the rest of the journey dear Samwise
@pirobot668beta
8 ай бұрын
Mike Lindell sold an anti-snoring pillow: it was so lumpy y'all couldn't fall asleep on a dare. No sleep, no snoring....
@dannyburleigh1
8 ай бұрын
There are RECHARGEABLE Hand Warmers now Stephen!
@Kate-ui5kc
8 ай бұрын
As a backyard geriatric birdwatcher, I love the idea of binoculars iding birdies so I don't have to change the focus and attention of these aging eyes and memory by reading a source ❤
@courtney-ray
8 ай бұрын
This segment was hilarious 😂
@Mothaf4ckajones
8 ай бұрын
I grew up on the Colbert report. Love you Stephen
@thunderousapplause
8 ай бұрын
There are bone-conducting earphones called Shokz. I love them. They dont go IN your ears, but over.
@jayhill1414
8 ай бұрын
Congrats on passing your previous milestone Stephen and thank you for fighting through all of lifes bullshit and making me smile more evenings, than not. Much love✌️
@TheGreatAtario
8 ай бұрын
"Dumb." Exactly my first thought when seeing that clear TV.
@deohenge1865
8 ай бұрын
Another episode proving Evie is the best part of the show, even when she's not physically in the show.
@birbluv9595
8 ай бұрын
Congratulations on beating the number of Colbert Report shows!
@johnransom1146
8 ай бұрын
Love the marriage bed anti snoring lol. Go Evie
@Steelsteed58
8 ай бұрын
Anti-snoring pillow? Any pillow you put over your bed mates face,AND HOLD!
@chaosopher23
8 ай бұрын
That pillow looks a LOT like a car muffler.
@williamsrdan
8 ай бұрын
The AI binoculars would be really cool actually. Sure, more tech, but we end up having to pull out our phones anyway to try to identify what we're seeing, by describing it to Google and hoping a similar picture comes up.... Something that could analyze a short video clip/visual, and maybe sound, along with gps and season, would be much better at identifying the wonders of nature.
@karlstone6011
8 ай бұрын
Technically, that's a roborgasm. A cyborg is a biological organism with significant mechanical components. If anyone has pointed this out before - I can only applaud Clobert's steely determination to soldier on regardless of the facts!
@jsully8076
8 ай бұрын
Funniest ghost story ever.
@DarkAngel-nc9yp
8 ай бұрын
ngl, That bird identifying tech sounded pretty cool.
@yudithcaron8053
8 ай бұрын
I wonder how a puny little pillow like this one will flip me like a pancake when I snore.
@kathleentucker1238
8 ай бұрын
Thoreau couldn't have said it better Stephen!
@burkemd
8 ай бұрын
Congratulations, Stephen. 🎉
@TheDarwinProject1
8 ай бұрын
A hand is much better than the pillow I fantasized putting over my exs' faces when they snored. Sleeping just with a cat, whose snore is adorable, like a hummingbird snoring (search for it here on KZitem after this, its adorable!), but in deeper cat-possible octaves, & makes me feel like 😍 instead of 😠 is far better. I have better sleep, less nightmares, & I don't have to leave the bed to avoid a murder charge!
@revengefrommars
8 ай бұрын
3:48 "I talked to your bones. They said they want out."
@broughtonparkade5381
8 ай бұрын
Can you imagine your toothbrush saying ‘Youmissed a spot’?
@Atlas-pn6jv
8 ай бұрын
I'm not even a birdwatcher, but whoever made those binoculars missed the point of birdwatching lol
@higgledypiggledycubledy8899
8 ай бұрын
I had Geoff Peterson flashbacks with that intro. Good stuff
@idget600
8 ай бұрын
Virtual Sweetheart - "what does your dream sweetheart look like?" Tool that purchased Virtual Sweetheart - "My Mom".
@N8T1V3-5F
8 ай бұрын
Because if you ever want to feel like a hardwired into cyberspace it's when your bird watching😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@mho...
8 ай бұрын
those augmented reality binoculars are a great thing! reminds me of "eden of the east"!
@caffeineadvocate
8 ай бұрын
The snoring segment hit me hard…
@robkunkel8833
8 ай бұрын
❤Steven has taken to tapping the table waiting for laughs to die off … like good old Johnny Carson. Steven also displays the same sense of intense alertness to everything around him, the way Carson used to display. 1147 + 1147..
Пікірлер: 482