“Stone The Crows” performed by Maria Friedman as the Narrator and Donny Osmond as Joseph. From the 1999 film version of 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat’ with Lyrics by Tim Rice & Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber.
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Lyrics
Narrator:
Pharaoh said
Pharaoh:
Well stone the crows,
This Joseph is a clever kid
Who'd have thought that fourteen cows
Could mean the things he said they did?
Joseph, you must help me further;
I have got a job for you
You shall lead us through this crisis -
You shall be my number two
Narrator & Female Ensemble:
Pharaoh told his guards to fetch
A chisel from the local store
Whereupon he ordered them
To cut the chains that Joseph wore
Joseph got a royal pardon
And a host of splendid things
A chariot of gold, a cloak,
A medal and some signet rings
Joseph -
Pharaoh's number two
Joseph -
Egypt looks to you
Jospeh, Narrator & Female Ensemble:
Joseph -
Pharaoh's number two
Joseph -
Egypt looks to you
Narrator & Female Ensemble:
Seven summers on the trot
Were perfect just as Joseph said
Joseph saw that food was gathered
Ready for the years ahead
Seven years of famine followed
Egypt didn't mind a bit
The first recorded rationing
In history was a hit
Female Ensemble:
Joseph how can we ever say
All that we want to about you
We're so glad that you came our way
We would have perished without you
Pharaoh:
Joseph we are the perfect team
Old buddies, that's you and me
I was wise to have chosen you
You'll be wise to agree
Female Ensemble:
Joseph how can we ever say
All that we want to about you
We're so glad that you came our way
We would have perished without you
Pharaoh:
We were in a jam
Would have baffled Abraham
But now we're a partnership
It's just a piece of cake
Female Ensemble:
Greatest man since Noah
Only goes to show-ah
Joseph:
Anyone from anywhere can make it
If they get a lucky break
Narrator & Female Ensemble:
This could be a happy ending,
Perfect place to stop the show
Joseph after all has gone
About as far as he can go
But I'm sure that Jacob and
His other sons have crossed your mind
How had famine hit the family
Joseph left behind?
----
In the summer of 1967, Andrew Lloyd Webber was asked by Alan Doggett, head of the Music Department at Colet court, St Paul’s Junior School who taught his younger brother, Julian, to write a ‘pop cantata’ for the school choir to sing at their Easter end of term concert.
Andrew immediately approached his friend Tim Rice to ask if he would write lyrics for the project. After toying with ideas about spies, 007′s and the like, Tim suggested the story of Joseph.
The first performance of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat was on a cold winter afternoon on 1st March 1968 at the Old Assembly Hall, Colet Court, Hammersmith.
Accompanied by the School orchestra and conducted by Alan Doggett, the performance was only 15 minutes long.
It was such a success that a second performance was arranged on 12th May 1968 at Central Hall, Westminster, where Andrew’s father was the organist. Julian Lloyd Webber gave a classical recital in the first half, along with Bill Lloyd Webber. The audience of approximately 2,500 consisted mainly of parents of the Colet Court boys. To Andrew and Tim’s surprise, Derek Jewell, Jazz and Pop Critic for The Sunday Times, saw the show and wrote a favourable review of Joseph, which appeared on 19th May 1968. A third performance took place on 9th November 1968 at St Paul’s Cathedral, where Joseph was expanded to include songs such as ‘Potiphar’ for the first time.
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