You’re nice to everyone else but you’re not nice to yourself. - THAT part.
@Officially_LaMarcus
2 жыл бұрын
That hurt 😣
@lex-rf3cz
2 жыл бұрын
hell. yeah.
@olgaignashova6736
2 жыл бұрын
😭
@user-jr9gw3gl7z
2 жыл бұрын
I felt that on spiritual level
@presleecarson532
2 жыл бұрын
Facts
@leilani3070
2 жыл бұрын
“If everybody likes you you’re doing something wrong”
@jojobrown2504
2 жыл бұрын
Being too nice AND patient can take a toll on you over time because people take advantage of that . No one expects you to say ‘no’ or do as they do. I have a naturally soft voice and have been called delicate and sensitive in relationships when I finally stood my ground. It seems like you cannot win. Family and friends have treated me like a doormat too. I done people pleasing !
@khayymeshell4244
2 жыл бұрын
“You don’t have to please everyone to have a happy life” me at 25 finally realizing this!!! 100% AGREE.
@aysyaw6038
2 жыл бұрын
You definitely ahead of the game sis! Peace and Blessings✌
@khayymeshell4244
2 жыл бұрын
@@aysyaw6038 ugh. Thank you for saying that. It doesn’t feel like it 😅 thanks for the love ❤️
@mqbtv
2 жыл бұрын
I’m 29 and finally understand
@kheleecebrown1799
10 ай бұрын
Same just realising this 😢 too.
@towandalomax3295
2 жыл бұрын
I fully understand and I agree, when I stopped trying to please EVERYBODY I became happier myself and whole. It's Liberating
@dawnshort5215
2 жыл бұрын
Sad to say I lived most of my life that way. Although thankfully I did stand up for myself and I protect the underdog to this day. I just was extremely observant. I knew when to pick my battles. But you are right. I learn to leave my baggage at the train station in order to grow. I love who I am becoming even at 59. I love watching your vids. Thanks for the lifts... hugs darlin
@glammagurl572
2 жыл бұрын
You are so right, good for u hunny!!!
@MSGJD2
2 жыл бұрын
RIGHT!!!!
@jackseve
2 жыл бұрын
I was so happy when I learned to stop people pleasing. They never get enough. You can never do enough for those people.
@ew0711
2 жыл бұрын
Now that's the damn truth. People are never satisfied. They'll take as long as you're giving to them.
@shirleygonzales5284
Жыл бұрын
I agree.
@kewannaYaady
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve always been the nice quite child n now I’m most hated to the same ppl bc I start to speak up for myself and things I believe in lol . When people can not control you they dislike you and that’s so selfish but that’s just facts .
@bellanovia1648
2 жыл бұрын
I love that he’s not one of those “omg how rude this chick is interrupting my video” instead he choose to acknowledge her and be polite.
@TaKyraMoonlight
2 жыл бұрын
So glad you posted this. The reason I’m so unbelievably nice is because I know what it’s like to feel left out or disrespected.
@Danielleej
2 жыл бұрын
I’m only realising this now at the age of 20 years old, where I feel as though I have put a lot of my energy into people who don’t deserve it. I feel like I’ve done a lot for the ungrateful and sometimes it’s never given back and at this point in my life, I am at a stage where self reflection is more important then keeping other people around. Update: lol i’m from the uk 🇬🇧, i didn’t think this would get that many likes and it did so thank you🤣🤧
@Steph_Said
2 жыл бұрын
YES!
@peterssister421
2 жыл бұрын
👏👏👏👏
@Kimberly-ks6uu
2 жыл бұрын
Amen I became nice because I was overweight and insecure and only thought I was a nerd. I'm a little better at my disease to please now. Thank you mj you spitting realness.
@caribbeanbeauty88
2 жыл бұрын
Amen!
@v.michellej5982
2 жыл бұрын
Amen!!!
@felicianwilliams3139
2 жыл бұрын
I agree... I've been there. The thing that saddens me now is that I see my son doing the same thing. He's autistic and just wants to make friends, but kids can be cruel so they're nice to him but don't want to be friends with him. He tries to please his peers to make friends and it hurts me because they take advantage of him at times. So I began saying affirmations with him to help him realize he's unique and that is his super power❤🙏🏽
@CeceNaturalful
2 жыл бұрын
I'm in my 30's and in the process of correcting this and finding my voice. Many people arent pleased by the changes but I feel lighter
@Gladiator_in_a_Suit
2 жыл бұрын
Girl same! we rised up and wised up!
@jackseve
2 жыл бұрын
The most liberating experience was embracing my ability to authentically say NO and YES. Then knowing that my reason for my answer does not need to be justified or rationalized. My NO, is answer enough.
@AlexAnder-ze4qu
2 жыл бұрын
Facts!
@michelleb2249
2 жыл бұрын
I have been pleasing my family friends loved ones at the expense of my happiness. Thanks MJ
@carmencatalina9086
2 жыл бұрын
I use to want to be wanted and liked by so many but now I don’t care. I only care about pleasing God. But others I don’t care. I’m developing thick skin.
@sabrina77769
2 жыл бұрын
“You’re nice to other people but you’re not nice to yourself “ I felt that one 🥺 Such an eye opener
@tjzofficial1
2 жыл бұрын
Wow the way something hits your spirit when you can 100% relate. MJ these words couldn’t be more true 💯
@maryluvsmusic9298
2 жыл бұрын
Agree with u 1000%!!!
@zanelengcelwane2536
2 жыл бұрын
This just hit me to the core!!! This was directed at me...I just need to re evaluate my life and decisions.
@user-sp4vq6et7w
2 жыл бұрын
Big Facts !
@tonisettles6739
2 жыл бұрын
Omg 😳, so so true!!!!!
@stephaniepetion6100
2 жыл бұрын
Wow! That's me! I have the disease of overly nice🙄. And people take advantage of my kindness! Sometimes they ask," how can you be so nice! Or I haven't met anyone as nice as you"! I am in my 30's, I am learning so far this year to sa no sometimes and not worried about friends, co-workers or family dislike me!
@chloecobbs512
2 жыл бұрын
I’m a child and already learning about how people can be form YOUR VIDEOS!!!!!
@jennifercedre9407
2 жыл бұрын
I was in therapy a long time ago. I realized that peoples approval of me is no longer necessary in my life . Now I honestly care what ppl think about me. Or if ppl hate me. I have great friends and family members who love me for who I am. And they are the best.
@adarijohnson
2 жыл бұрын
It’s so hard when you have an emotionally abusive mother.. what she says goes.
@charmainephasoana6850
2 жыл бұрын
And you live with her!!!!!!!! I honestly can't wait to get out and find my own individuality outside of this dysfunction
@keepingupwithchanel4232
2 жыл бұрын
I had too move out my mom house she loves me but super argumentive
@keepingupwithchanel4232
2 жыл бұрын
@@adarijohnson I'm engaged and have a family now!! I'm at peace God will guide you! I had too move on from both my parents and get my own space they weren't very supportive but I still love them both. It feels good when they can come over and eat my dinners and relax on my comfy couches 🛋 😌 She knew she couldn't get in my head anymore so she doesn't Fuss as much!
@zzp1758
2 жыл бұрын
@@keepingupwithchanel4232 dude same😓
@keepingupwithchanel4232
2 жыл бұрын
@@zzp1758 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
@kemageorge2194
2 жыл бұрын
I agree!!👏🏾 I am currently reading a book titled "Not Nice". It's pretty much the instructional to undo being nice which is purely about people pleasing.
@teena5723
2 жыл бұрын
Me too 🙌
@accesstotheredcarpet
2 жыл бұрын
Who is the author of the book. I’m gonna read this
@kemageorge2194
2 жыл бұрын
@@accesstotheredcarpet it's a great one. The author is Dr. Aziz Gazipura
@aestheticchillvibes
2 жыл бұрын
I always had relatives who did not like me but pretended to love me, and they cannot stand that now I don't deal with some of them. I keep things to myself, and I practiced self love and self care. It is sad because I genuinely care so much, but I cannot let people walk over me. I stopped trying to please and explain myself. Especially when relatives make side comments. I have become so much happier!
@Ejejesksjs
2 жыл бұрын
Me being at work with my job having the “The customer is always right” mentality caused me to be overly nice. It was due to the fact that I couldn’t afford to get fired.
@itsapriviledge1055
2 жыл бұрын
The person that told me I was too nice abused me the most. Physically and mentally. 😪 That was most valuable lesson that I ever learned.
@jackiemurphy5303
2 жыл бұрын
Idk … I feel like I do like to be nice all the time … even when I’m mad I always want to be nice ..
@Studio-eu2bz
2 жыл бұрын
Me too. I’m a butterfly 🦋 and I have never seen a butterfly near poop (negativity). She’s always just floating around bringing people joy. I find the more loving and kind I am it comes right back. Maybe that’s corny but that’s me.
@ashleybriggs750
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you. I've silenced myself just to keep others happy but that repression becomes depression. Now I'm learning how to express anger (when it's appropriate)
@kw6724
2 жыл бұрын
Yes, Ashley! You worded that perfectly 🤍
@ms.amelia5416
2 жыл бұрын
I agree so much. I developed the disease to please as a child as well. It took till this year at 45 for me to find a cure for myself. My current boyfriend freed me from this disease. He has taught me to say no & find my happiness. I am so grateful for God bring him into my life.
@JonelleNara
2 жыл бұрын
Yes as an adult you don't rock the boat and let things slide and the moment you stop, ppl say "you have changed, I don't like you no more"...I used to do this but seeing ppl be abused pulled the activist out a me. I just can't allow bullies to thilrive so I had to be strong, I had to speak out and have ppl look at me and stand in the attention I absolutely HATE!...now I will confront anyone once I've decided its worth it.
@rosemarielee4216
2 жыл бұрын
Amen to what the brother says.
@len1045678
2 жыл бұрын
Yes im moving towards that same part in my life
@Gabriela323
2 жыл бұрын
I’m overly polite, and lately I’ve been getting ignored a lot. Sometimes I’m walking with someone, and it’s literally like talking to a wall. I stopped talking to them, but I don’t know what to do. It’s not just one person, it’s like I’m going through a period in my life where, for some reason, I’ve got to endure loneliness. It’s not the first time this happens, so I don’t know if I need to polish my social skills or if it’s just something else 😪 it is hard, but I’ll try to learn my lesson
@sandrawright3988
2 жыл бұрын
Don't worry sometimes the lonely period separates you from people that don't have your best interest at heart. The people that are meant to be in your life will come just continue to be you and be kind to yourself.
@QueenOfPrinciple
2 жыл бұрын
One I'm going thru this as well. The invisible woman almost. But maybe it's not all you,,...not us. We need to show how valuable we are as well by how we handle and treat ourselves. Even if that means happiness alone.
@sandrawright3988
2 жыл бұрын
@@QueenOfPrinciple absolutely
@sandrawright3988
2 жыл бұрын
@@QueenOfPrinciple let our no be no and stand on that. I have found that sometimes we go out of our way to do things for others that they wouldn't do for us. We must put ourselves first with no apologies.
@karbiethapelo4589
2 жыл бұрын
You're not alone. ❤❤❤
@LifewithCharlene140
2 жыл бұрын
You made me realize, I am carrying something that makes me always feel like I have to please people ALL the time. I loved this video.
@ambersnow9601
2 жыл бұрын
Wow, I agree with you 100%! I finally decided recently that I am tired of putting everyone else first and being nice to everyone except myself.
@glamupbeauty2686
2 жыл бұрын
This hit home for me… I’m known as the Giver with a Big heart, and can keep you laughing!! My time, my money, my home, my peace and I’ve been like this my entire life… In my heart I feel like God would be disappointed in me if I didn’t do the things I know I can… However, it drains me, but God continues to bless me. I LOVE making people smile and giving to others but I need to learn how to say NO and stick to it. THANK YOU MJ for this you TRULY read my soul. It’s childhood trauma from me wanting to always please my parents
@ladylenise807
2 жыл бұрын
OMG, I am a 50 yr old woman and this is hitting me hard because it is totally the roll I assigned for myself and it is done.
@cartesiajones1598
2 жыл бұрын
I'm with you I'm a 52 yrs old African American queen I'm learning to love myself, be truthful, and be happy within myself. Tired of pleasing people who dont deserve my love, attention or my time. I'm living my best life loving God and myself.
@ashafarah6052
2 жыл бұрын
Me too sisters.
@Scorpio12348
2 жыл бұрын
@@cartesiajones1598 same here
@marchellegodsangel9601
2 жыл бұрын
That was my issue! I wanted everyone to like me or speak highly of me but even I noticed I had a lot of people still saying bad things about me regardless so my need to please everyone changed, I say regardless of what you do in life good or bad people that is unhappy in their life will always say negative things about you.
@MysTaria87
2 жыл бұрын
Totally!!! 💯 I stopped pleasing folks.. and these ppl are hot messes anyway.. no need. Does that mean I’m going to change who I am as a person, naturally? No.. but I do treat people accordingly, yes! 👏🏽👏🏽
@kikataye6293
2 жыл бұрын
You are a gift! This is the story of my life. Been bullied my whole life
@tirzahcarswell1903
2 жыл бұрын
Understand, same here, not taking me for Granted anymore, Family, Friends, or anyone in Society. All the things I've been through and ungratefully appreciated about, TRUST ME, BY ALL MEANS, this is NOT A DREAM, I'M not Repeating a DAMN THING!!!
@peachykeen4242
2 жыл бұрын
That's so true MJ. I've finally learned my lesson after my last toxic relationship. I heard Iyanla tell someone that she had the "Martyr Syndrome." Always concerned about hurting someone's feelings or trying to make others happy at the expense of my own happiness. That was me all the way. But never again...LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!
@R3n33loves
2 жыл бұрын
I AGREE! finally discovered boundaries and decided i will not longer be a doormat, my family ain't too happy about it and continues to gaslight me
@len1045678
2 жыл бұрын
I agree with everything you just said, specially when you said, it was a survival mechanism to stop people from saying bad things about you, that is so true, also keeping too much inside when i know i have a lot on my mind, and when i do i lash out. Also growing up in a conservative christian home where they teaches about forgiveness that will keep you around the same kind of people instead of separating your self from them
@pinkbutterfly213
2 жыл бұрын
My grown children have been taking advantage of me because I am so kind and giving. I would put myself in the red just to help them. It became a cycle and until recently I said NO and offer no explanation. This video was confirmation.
@chs75
2 жыл бұрын
Congrats on that shiny new spine!
@chynnamichele6776
2 жыл бұрын
This is so helpful for me because I had it bad and I’m changing and dealing with people now telling me “you’re mean” when I KNOW I haven’t done anything but be honest
@charlenewilliams7320
2 жыл бұрын
You can never be too nice, in the realm of your kindness u have to up your Grit...once the Grit has gotten got or a break thru to success, niceness is there to reward..judgement is there for a moment, mercy ( throughout all that judgement) endures forever!
@jaytibee
2 жыл бұрын
People pleasing can be very detrimental in all types of relationships because it can be placed as a higher priority than DISCERNMENT. Bad intentioned people bank on that to use you, make your life hell, or project their toxicity onto you. Protect yourself, that way you can genuinely be nice to people who actually deserve it including yourself!
@eugeniaperry4278
2 жыл бұрын
When I learned this, I have never been the same, I use the word “NO” like the Mississippi River 🤣🤣🤣🙏🏾💖🌎. It’s just continuing flows out my mouth when I don’t wanna do something.
@Ebeezy272011
2 жыл бұрын
😂 facts
@amazonlegs5504
2 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@mycuprunnethover8655
2 жыл бұрын
I agree. Another reason for being overly nice is when someone has experienced rejection or has had trouble making friends. The person will feel if I’m nice it will please the person who I want to have a relationship or friendship with and they will accept me instead of recognizing God accepts you and God is the majority.
@sincereiam
2 жыл бұрын
I became nice from watching others treat people mean. However, I do understand what you're saying. People always tell me that my name fits me.
@AuthenticallyMe6837
2 жыл бұрын
Ouch! My husband always tell me, even to this day that I am always too nice. Allowing people to say things and I don't speak up or do things I don't like, then I beat myself up about it because I didn't speak up for me! Thank you so much MJ for breaking it down for me! No more being nice to please others! I have to love me despite of what others think of or feel about me. As long as I am happy, then their thoughts and opinions are irrelevant.
@purposedpatience6597
2 жыл бұрын
You are so sweet! I always look at the way people treat servers in a restaurant because it speaks volumes. You’re genuine love ❤️
@LarennPBel
2 жыл бұрын
That’s an awesome way to be. Thank u for the reminder 🥰🥰
@queenlyvibes1605
2 жыл бұрын
Definitely experienced it, because I was smaller/shorter than other kids...but once I realized that they were the problem not me...I was good ✌️
@senam1394
2 жыл бұрын
But I realized that too late I became so introverted really affected my social life .
@mariahg4561
2 жыл бұрын
It’s so important to not only hear this message but to let it sit. Then make changes in yourself.
@_iamsarahi
2 жыл бұрын
This is so true. I never thought about being overly kind to people despite them constantly compliment us backhandedly. I have pinpointed why I am a people pleaser, it stems from how I was raised. For example, if you’re raised in a toxic household, you have two choices, rebelling, or making decisions to please your parents in order for you to not get in trouble, etc. A word to the wise, if you desire to have children, please please please be considerate of their thoughts. Let them express themselves for who they are. Let them be free, but be smart about it, also don’t not punish them if they’re wrong. Be fair, because you’re molding and harvesting everything you grow. 🌻
@myaccountability3080
2 жыл бұрын
Amen. Being a Pisces... it is a trait we learn to use sparingly overtime from being taken advantage of.
@wendypope9668
2 жыл бұрын
Do Pisces people sacrifice their happiness to make their partner happy?
@myaccountability3080
2 жыл бұрын
@@wendypope9668 I can't speak for anyone else.. but I have in my current relationship of 6yrs. Pulled back on doing so after communicating with my lady. She expressed that me doing so wasn't a requirement of hers. Love on you first... or else you'll never be your best for whomever you choose to love on. 💯
@SaraeRaveen
2 жыл бұрын
THIS! 💯
@MetalBere
2 жыл бұрын
@@wendypope9668 yeah 😔
@TheNaughtyBarberess
2 жыл бұрын
@@myaccountability3080 mebe you should disappear like a few weeks and see if you still want that relationship that does not reciprocate and see what your lady does.
@chelliebradshaw8721
2 жыл бұрын
it’s different when you’re genuinely nice … I put me 1st. I can be kind to you but not at a fault to myself. Really catch me outside! Oh & you have a beautiful smile 😃
@isiacfrost5922
2 жыл бұрын
I understand that that’s why I’m so mean to everyone certain times! I try to still be a good man!❤️❤️
@lovejoy4465
2 жыл бұрын
Lord🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 have mercy And let’s not forget the relationships, friendships etc that you create based on being that person w/ the disease to please 🤦🏽♀️ Whew child it’s a raw and uncut realization when you finally realize you cannot continue with those who you have the closest relationships with because that particular dynamic CANNOT CONTINUE!!!! It’s a hurtful, lonely but hella refreshing EPIPHANY🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽💫❤️
@queenam7477
2 жыл бұрын
Everything you touched on hit home for me. I have always been the nice person and realizing people pleasing is not the key to life. Thank you MJ
@virgolady5032
2 жыл бұрын
This IS a WHOLE word MJ. I wish that I was close to you yo give you a hug. I had the disease and lived with until I was in my late 40's and I realized that everyone around me was happy, but me. I've changed that behavior and I have felt so free ever since. Love you for the realness 💙
@bettytorrence4110
Жыл бұрын
Yes , that true I agree ,it good to be nice. don't take my nice for granted. Don't take my nicest to be a weakness. ❤
@glammagurl572
2 жыл бұрын
Wow he's done it again! My son's father always would say "Amber nice don't get you no where"....well that was 12 yrs ago and he was right also, I stopped trying to please everyone and I realized people around me would still hate or be unhappy either way so you have to do what makes you happy, forget what others are thinking forget trying to please them when I start pleasing myself I felt so much better, thank you a lot of people needed to hear this!
@missleflore1333
2 жыл бұрын
Omg i totally agree with this, it took for me to get into a narcissistic relationship for 4 years to finally realize this was my problem.
@KayyDeanne
2 жыл бұрын
So empowering!!!
@ronniehicks3258
2 жыл бұрын
That was me. I would be so nice, it literally hurt, because I would bend over backwards. I would not stand up for myself. So I developed high blood pressure, it was not worth it. Now, if people call me mean. I could care less. If I say NO! I no longer regret it.
@AsiaKellyyt
2 жыл бұрын
Ugh talk about perfect timing! I’ve always considered myself nice but never realized that what I was engaging in was people pleasing until last week and from then decided no more! Then I get on KZitem and your video pops up and you just told me EVERYTHING that I needed to hear. No more nice girl and it is what it is!!!
@holygrailrose
2 жыл бұрын
I learn so much from you. Sometimes I play your videos out loud so other people can hear them too lol
@dyoung2739
2 жыл бұрын
💯True,MJ ❤️. I've come to realize, almost too late in life, that my disease to please is over gifting to others. Ive wasted so much time and money on gifts to people who didn't truly appreciate me or the gift(s).
@SM-cg5uy
2 жыл бұрын
100% accurate. Was raised by a narcissistic, disapproving mother. I became a Super Pleaser for her and everyone else and it has NOT served me well in adulthood. It has been a learning mission to stop being such a pleaser.
@shirleykean3937
2 жыл бұрын
To hell with being nice. I treat people the way they treat me and I will be extremely vicious about it and do not care what they tell other people about me.
@yolanda4664
2 жыл бұрын
What an eye opener. Now I can put a label on it : the disease to please. Thank goodness I have broken away from it to a degree. There’s still a little bit of it inside but definitely not like how it was in my younger years. I feel there’s different categories/ layers of the “disease to please”. Ex: saying yes to people all the time, making yourself readily available, Being the financial go to person, making commitment to things you’re not ready to take on or do not wish to take on, always being polite, always being respectful (even to those that don’t deserve it) and the list goes on and on.
@naijahsky8080
2 жыл бұрын
His really hitting home! What he's saying makes my heart cry! I never thought I would ever hear someone speak to how I feel
@Erica-en2qz
2 жыл бұрын
Completely agree. Being a nice girl doesn't help when you are too nice to speak up for yourself. Hard lesson to learn.
@LyssieLysse
2 жыл бұрын
So true! I grew up saying yes because it was so much easier than saying no and getting backlash for it or having to fight. Now, I don’t care and say no in a minute. I tell people I’m not nice, I’m courteous and respectful.
@shoricelong2091
2 жыл бұрын
MJ, thank you for giving me one of the biggest revelations about myself that I have ever had. You are 1,000% correct when you say that my DISEASE TO PLEASE is a trauma response rooted in the fear of being rejected. I can now live my life as my authentic self, regardless of how someone else will feel or think. God bless you. ❤️❤️
@QueenOfPrinciple
2 жыл бұрын
This is right on time because I just caught onto this 'too nice' thing!!! And, I'm excited because I've always been very nice.eveb though I get really rough and can fight if need to. I was picked on as child as well had a crazy mean father. Then, I thought God made me that way. I now have decided to be kind,...but not nice. God said love is patient, love is KIND. Nice is doing too much
@Liyaahdeluxe
2 жыл бұрын
Im 19 and I struggle with this alot. I was always bullied so much grow up by school mates & even my family. they always made me feel like my words & feelings didnt matter so I trained myself to be quiet & speak only when spoken too. I put everyones feelings before my own & hardly ever say No cause I fear how i would be looked at afterwards. I think training myself to be like this drained me to the point Idk how to be myself anymore. my smiles are fake and my laughs aren’t genuine. The older I get the more I fear I will be like this forever. I just want to be confident and myself again.
@Apples_forlife
2 жыл бұрын
I am only 15 going on 16 and I've realized my need to please. Over the years of wanting friends and wanting people to always like me, made me forget about my wants and needs. I was always told how nice and polite I am and how I am always happy. Most of the time I did that so that people didn't have bad things to say about me or not want to be a friends with me, but I am now realizing that some people aren't meant to be our friends or our s/o and that we should be more concerned on our selves and people that genuinely care for us.
@kristinawaghorn9432
2 жыл бұрын
I have this so much. I was brought up to be seen and not heard. I'm 48 and need to say no more often.
@Merdenoms
2 жыл бұрын
Yes ma'am 👏 And no is a complete sentence.
@Haterzarefans
2 жыл бұрын
@@Merdenoms that last part had me like😂😂😂😂
@nmc5778
2 жыл бұрын
This is honestly so true. I’ve started to open my eyes more. I’d always here from close ones “you’re so nice” all the time, whilst they were taking advantage of me.
@ChiTownChei
2 жыл бұрын
I just learned to stop doing that. Then when it's not returned, my feelings are hurt. I had to grow up. I'm now just trying to please God in every way, mind body & soul. I have to be the best I can be in God eyes. He's forgiven my sins & I'm ok with that.
@Hello-iz9hl
2 жыл бұрын
Omg thank you soooooo much for this video for me it was my narcissistic parents that made me have to be like that in order to survive my childhood and adolescent years but I carried it into my adulthood now I am working on myself to stop being fucking nice all the time because it hurts me sometimes thanks MJ.
@s.m.davids5142
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing the wisdom. I will no longer allow the darkness of others who try to envelope and extinguish the goodness of light that shines within me. I see your spiritual light and it is beautiful!!! Continue to shine. I know that I will. ❤
@lindaxati3581
2 жыл бұрын
U just told my life. This I need to learn. I agree
@mrponderhoodoo
2 жыл бұрын
As a gay man brought up by Christian family I did the same thing as a defense mechanism. One of my daily affirmations now is "Universe I set energetic boundaries" and people feel it about me now. This video was the Universe reminding me. Thank you MJ. You'er an icon
@ilyskittles132
2 жыл бұрын
MJ, I don’t know how much you knew that I needed this but I really did. I have learned so much about myself this weekend and this was the one video that added to that knowledge. I’m not going to be the same person anymore. I am surrendering and releasing myself from my disease to please!
@Caprice33
2 жыл бұрын
This was a great breakdown since it’s true that there are billions of people in this world and it’s not worth caring to please everyone...👌🏾✨
@ladye8686
2 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh I so agree I'm a little long in the tooth to finally come to this realization MJ so thank you so much for giving me that Clarity that gift of knowledge. Stay safe
@decaturdtp
2 жыл бұрын
I agree. After going through therapy this past year I confronted this about myself and continue to every day. It's freeing too. Get free ya'll 💙
@olgaignashova6736
2 жыл бұрын
This is true. I'm one of the nicest most forgiving people you will ever meet and I still get treated like trash.
@newmove7068
2 жыл бұрын
That's why I phucks with you MJ.. you are so down to Earth. You're dope. Period 🥂😘❤️🙏🏽
@garymotley8196
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, I really needed to hear this! I always find myself doing stuff for other people and I end up resenting the hell out of my actions! I need to stop being so quick to say yes, not return with a decision until I feel that the answer will benefit me, long-term!
@brooklynn3120
2 жыл бұрын
My therapist told me I’m too nice and loving I didn’t understand what she meant until I realized. And people started using me more and after they did they told me they felt bad because I was such a nice girl. Being nice is only going to get you used and make you seem stupid. But I’m so nice because growing up people weren’t really nice to me so I know what it feels like to have people not be nice to me and loving so I feel the need to be that way. I just wish I wasn’t so nice because I’m overly nice and it’s a problem.
@tiffanyrobinson615
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve realized that some months ago. How I always felt like people was running over me but I allowed it by giving all of me and some to them. Changing my ways that people didn’t like, but I noticed i was not happy with myself and the way others treated me. Now I understand and standing in my power. Saying yes or no as I please and loving me bring happy in my skin, thanks MJ
@Sheperdsdaughter
2 жыл бұрын
This is my sunday gospel! Thank you MJ!
@strong1734
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for setting me straight and putting the mirror in front of me to see myself. I feel like I owe you a co-pay for this 7 minute therapy session. LOL
@memelove1146
2 жыл бұрын
MJ you’re so right! I figured that out a while ago. Now I take care of me first! My bf says I’m evil/mean. I told him that’s better than being “nice” and being walked all over! You are so sweet to people that recognize you. I love it!
@floycesmith9983
2 жыл бұрын
My God, I just turned 55 and you just called it for me. Tomorrow is a new day. Thanks for sharing. Shenell from Boston. Be Blessed.
@thetruthsideswiththeoppressed
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for being so transparent. I can say the same for myself, always being the one to care for and help others. As the years progressed, being the nice guy only made me miserable because ppl expect you to be and do (for them) despite the fact that they are/have NEVER been there for me. I had to cut everyone else off and live for (hopefully God) and myself. You definitely hit home with this one. Appreciate the video.
@gaystewart7844
2 жыл бұрын
This is so on point! I need to listen to this over and over again!!!!Thank YOU💯
@ebonystewart5445
2 жыл бұрын
Hi iam ebony iam looking for my family I was wondering are you in the NJ
@lahtiyaz4788
2 жыл бұрын
Yes I agree. This was my defense mechanism for a long time but I learned that I disrespect myself when I say yes to people when I really want to say no. I’m still working on my authenticity but I know how to express myself & dissatisfaction when I feel it. Thank you for this message!
@tracydahl3984
2 жыл бұрын
You hit the nail on the head this is soooo true I never knew that I was using my niceness to please others and all the while neglecting my feelings... thanks for the eye opener 🥰
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