What is victim mentality? How can we stop playing the victim in life? How victim mentality harms us and how can we get over victim syndrome? How to change your mindset and stop being a victim?
Playing the victim is a common response to life problems and failures. We all know people who would blame everyone and feel that the world is mean and scheming while they are naive and innocent and get taken for a ride by the evil world.
Now, anyone can feel that way once in a while. But if you regularly feel like that, chances are that you are a victim of victim mentality.
Victim mentality is essentially a mechanism to escape responsibility. Of course, because my problems are caused by the evil actions of the world, so I am not responsible. And also, for the same reason, the world has to change itself to remove this problem. I don't have to do anything.
And like everything else related to our behaviour, roots of playing the victim also trace back to our training, bulk of which happens in our childhood.
Parents that get angry when the kids take responsibility but mess things up train their kids to avoid responsibility. For a kid, ensuring they continue to get love and affection from their parents is a survival requirement. Thus, they intuitively grasp and double down on the behaviours that bring them parental love and affection while get away from behaviours that stop that love and affection. Thus, parental behaviour to the kids messing things up becomes a strong determiner of the kids attitude towards taking responsibility. Parents who appreciate the kids taking responsibility irrespective of whether they mess things up or not raise more confident kids that do not fall into the victim mindset.
Prashant Yadav is an author and an entrepreneur. A 3rd Dan Black Belt in Shito Ryu karate, he shares his life learnings, struggles and insights on this channel.
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