"Even though it wasn't traumatizing when it happened. Its traumatizing now." Spot on. Spot on Kati. Thank you.
@lifeisjustagame6412
8 жыл бұрын
I started crying when you said "its not your fault" I had thought I had overcome my sexual abuse but in reality I buried it in denial... I was being sexual abused from when I was 6 to 8 years old. When I first realized that I was molested and raped, I was 12. I couldn't understand the pain I was feeling so I turned to self harm...I'm in my late teens now and I do slip up sometimes and self harm. I had thought of telling my mom if I could get some professional help. But I'm so scared, I'm scared of taking the first step. I don't want to be a victim anymore...Do you have any advise?
@mac8088
8 жыл бұрын
Hey :) I can relate to this completely. I am in my teens too, and have also had to contemplate letting those around me know just so I can get help, and I am not going to lie, it's the hardest step. After that I can't completely say it is smooth sailing, but it does get better! Trust me, I did it and so can you :) Hope this helped
@selenaranney4369
6 жыл бұрын
LifeIsJustAGame You're not alone. My abuse happened 9 years ago and I also started to cry when she said it's not your fault. It gets better but it never really goes away. Therapy and a strong support system really helped me through some tough times. I'd like to say there's a fool proof way to find that support system but its really just trial and error. I turned to some people that could care less or made it worse but there were also those who made my life less of a hell during the hard times. The important thing is to recognize those who aren't helping and either cut them out or just don't share that part of your life with them. Best of luck
@maelybaker5191
6 жыл бұрын
LifeIsJustAGame I literally just found out I was raped I was only 5-6 maybe 4 and I thought it was just sexual assault but it was rape and I'm only 10 I'm still trying to deal with it....😔
@gothmedli
6 жыл бұрын
youre not alone
@michelleross9782
5 жыл бұрын
@mae flower I'm so terribly sorry. My biological father sexaually me for 15 years Please consider finding someone you trust to tell. If the person who raped you is charged with the crime they have committed against you (at least in US) there's an organizations known as Court Appointed Special Advocates for Children who will have someone trained to walk with you every step of the way. You will also be able to get a counselor appointed to help you start the healing process. It isn't easy but as a now 45 year old woman who has been in a wonderful marriage I can tell you there is hope and you are NOT alone.
@feralmonkey
8 жыл бұрын
The worst thing ive ever been told from being sexually abused was by my boyfriend. (Now ex-boyfriend) "Was he bigger than me?" just wow
@joannakwon7032
6 жыл бұрын
Destiny Nogitsune holy shit. Thank god he's not your bf anymore
@arivazhagankarunanithi995
6 жыл бұрын
Joanna Kwon true..
@kinkylildevil08
5 жыл бұрын
Hes a dick head smh
@solala1312
5 жыл бұрын
that is insane, I’m happy you are not in touch with him anymore!
@TheIloveme9
5 жыл бұрын
I realize you left a speech alarm time ago but I was abused my entire life and remember it from the time I was probably one year old. It never really surfaced in my mind until the age of 45, when I was in a rehab facility trying to recover from drug abuse. I had normalized it throughout my life, and although I had expressed concern and talks to people in therapy about it happening I never gave myself permission to be upset about it and really look at the beliefs I created about who I am and what I'm able to do. The beliefs about who I am and what I'm capable of, and what I deserve to have have always been very distorted! I believe that is the biggest issue with sexual abuse especially when it happens throughout a child life. Who you grow up believing that you are and what you deserve completely changes the path of your life. I've been in therapy since I was 12 and spent all those years only talking about how mad I was about my dad. Not one therapist ever asked me what I believe I deserve or what it made me think I was as a person. What messages it gave me. I believe that is the most important thing to help victims with. I still struggle with it and only now have I realized it has been my beliefs about myself that has always held me back
@Crystal9CA
10 жыл бұрын
Hard to deal with this when the abuse was done by other children.
@ghbhvhhn125
8 жыл бұрын
Same.:/
@mariemonroe5172
6 жыл бұрын
Crystal9CA someone understand
@stephschofield
6 жыл бұрын
True.
@dzhokinadzhokina8102
6 жыл бұрын
Yes
@migelchavez7007
5 жыл бұрын
I was abuse by my cusin she was like 12 ot 11 years old and i was like 5 or 6 years old
@julliejones8309
7 жыл бұрын
A video about child on child sexual abuse would be amazing, I think there are definitely some other people that would be interested to see that. Or I would love to just hear on your thoughts on it. Thank you for all your videos
@lesleysmith9122
8 жыл бұрын
I "overcame" this a few years ago. Now I discovered that my abuser brother is now having his first child. I have completely fallen back into a severe depression and haven't been sure what to do.
@layslifestyle2265
6 жыл бұрын
Lesley Smith OMG me the same. Sadly it was my dad.
@HaleyMedley
5 жыл бұрын
After I moved away from my family, I became like a new person, doing great in college, getting a job, working out regularly. I was so happy to be away. Then I found out my brother had knocked up his gf of 2months and I started a suicidal decline. The day my niece was born was the worst and best day of my life. A known predator with full access to not only his little girl, but in the future all of her friends. He already favors her tremendously over her brother (they are twins) and when I see him pick her up it makes me want to SCREAM.
@michelleross9782
5 жыл бұрын
Then scream. Call local CPS and report your concerns. A friend said she wanted to report for me & didn't. She says she still regrets even though I forgave her.
@katlynrobertson1051
5 жыл бұрын
Going through the exact same thing
@gd1465
4 жыл бұрын
Well did you Do something? Not to shame you but if you know what happense you have a Right to protect that child. That is probably why you felt awful. Because your body was telling you you need to Act. That is one of the bonuses of having gone through sexual abuse... we are some of the few people willing to SEE and FACE what many will not have the Guts to look at, We alone Ironically are the ones who can put a Stop to it. Also, A trigger as awful as it is, might bring up what you thought you got over. But if its coming up, maybe you have to ask if you really got over it. And makybe this time instead of etting over it, you *Slowly begin to move Towards it. Very, Slowly. And with Help.
@MostlyCloudy
5 жыл бұрын
Its also hard to deal with the memories of being sexually inappropriate around friends or family as a result of the abuse. There's a lot of shame involved, and it can really make a person retreat and isolate themselves.
@pacmoose
10 жыл бұрын
Through out my whole young life I always felt that the abuse I was subjected to was something to be shameful of. After telling my parents I was abused by my uncle I felt I had to be quiet about it. As an adult trying to heal and work through all the bad, I am finish being quiet. I am finish being ashamed, I want to tell my story and let others know that they are not alone and to not be ashamed.
@ha8236
5 жыл бұрын
I too was told to be quiet after I spoke up about my abuse..I didn't realise until today. That everytime I was faced with a difficult situation I'd become quiet. I would stop speaking and distance myself from everyone. I didn't realise where it came from, until it clicked to me. 17 years later after repressing the memories of my childhood trauma I finally feel ready to analyse what happened, the effects of what happened and I have the ability to finally heal from it all.
@sll110
3 жыл бұрын
me too , but that's nothing aboit me, it is their evi
@user-ee8cf3lc9m
7 жыл бұрын
this video and the comments below really makes me feel better... I'm not alone!! a big discovery! thank you all
@mandelenmandelen5955
8 жыл бұрын
I'm suscribing. Finally someone who actually understands. It happened to me when I was in foster care, I was only 3yo. My former therapist even suggested that I might have "liked it". And my mother (she's my adoptive mom after I turned 4) once told me "why didn't you fight back????" . It would have been difficult to forgive my mother's ignorance if it wasn't for the fact that she rescued me from all that. Thank you.
@roxannetyus22
7 жыл бұрын
Mandelen Mandelen OMG my therapist told me that the reason I was sexually abused was because I liked it also. I was 8 in foster care and had no idea what was going on. it was my uncle who abused me he was 17. my adopted mom also suggested that I liked it. he told me if I told anyone that I would be put in another foster home.
@icantremembermyname1052
7 жыл бұрын
what a damn shame... That is a big part of the reason why I refuse to go to therapy because there are a lot of sociopathic/narcisstic therapists out there who get pleasure out of making you feel like you deserved whatever happened to you/you are the person who is victimizing when in reality you are the victim, and they know exactly how much of an impact their words have on you because of the vulnerability you expose yourself to by opening up. Its a power trip. This woman is great at what she does though, and she sincerely wants to help. She's a healer in her own way!
@amandahilleary2581
6 жыл бұрын
Ignorance isn't so blissful. I'm sorry people have said those comments. I can't understand how your mom said that since you were 3 yr old you can't fight back against someone who is bigger then you.
@oliviacadena2036
6 жыл бұрын
Mandelen Mandelen Thanks for sharinghere!!! I know people say incredibly thoughtless and mean things to us, I hear ya! It's hard. Best wishes to you always!!! 😉😊😊😊😊😊😊
@layslifestyle2265
6 жыл бұрын
It’s just horrible. I totally relate to you and I was sexually abused by my dad when I was around 8/9. I’m still struggling with it. I hope that we would find a way to get through it. We are strong 💪
@SuperFeefer
9 жыл бұрын
What are your thoughts on children who are sexually abused by other children? Just curious
@jojogirl121
9 жыл бұрын
I would love to know as well.
@erincruz1074
8 жыл бұрын
Me too.
@mcavelli84
7 жыл бұрын
Rachel Santana If this helps, at 4 I was one such victim of a child of 9. Honestly, I'd say that the kid didn't have enough of an awareness to know what he was doing. And most likely was performing what was done to him.
@clementine676
7 жыл бұрын
When I was 9 I was abused by a teenage boy. He absolutely knew that what he was doing was wrong and I hate him.
@arnie666
7 жыл бұрын
I was abused at ten by a 14 and 17 year old,both males. When the mother of the 14 year old was confronted by my mother, she said if it went on 4 months I must not have minded it so much. I would have preferred it if she called me a liar.
@emilybrianna__3602
8 жыл бұрын
I was sexually abused by my cousin when I was six years old. We were at our grandmas house and he took me in the bathroom. He made me sit on his lap and he did horrible things to me. He dragged me in that bathroom five different times that night. When I was young I didn't understand but the older I got the more I did and it was aweful. I have panic attacks every time I think about him or the act of sex and I feel he ruined that part of life for me. I'm scared that when I get a husband I won't be able to do certain things with him because I'm scarred in that area of my life. Even though he has caused me so much pain and has scarred me, I have forgiven him. I don't love him not do I want to be in his presence, but I have forgiven him.
@rebeccaeerobb5449
8 жыл бұрын
Hope your okay, stay strong.
@LittleMissSunshineHA
8 жыл бұрын
we all love and support you.
@michelekoi
8 жыл бұрын
+It's Complicated - I'm 27 year old, never dated one of the reasons: all my partners wanted sex and I was always scared of it. IDK if I am asexual or not, but I always say that I am to say that I don't want any kind of this commitment to me. All my family blames it for me, my parents, cousins, uncles, etc. I cannot seek help cause I cannot afford a treatment. But I faced the same situation as you did, also my uncle make me into prostitution when I was around 9 to pay his debts with drug dealers. I got pregnant several times and aborted them all, I feel sad, depressed and guilty for this... I think I'll live all my life with this feeling.
@LittleMissSunshineHA
8 жыл бұрын
TantyoTheNishikigoi hey hun, there are some therapy places that offer discounts and cheap sessions if you discuss your financial situation with them. There are also online therapy websites (just make sure they are trust-worthy sites) that are much cheaper than physically going to a therapist. And there are also hotlines to call if you need immediate assistance. I hope I helped. I don't want you to ever lose hope that you can take your life back and be happy!!
@michelekoi
8 жыл бұрын
LittleMissSunshineHA - Even being cheap or having discounts I cannot pay for them, plus, I don't live on my country anymore, I moved to another country that I don't speak the language, plus, the health insurance here doesn't cover therapy sessions, just medical appointments and some medicines when they are really expensive.
@smallspidersad78
8 жыл бұрын
This is so important. Thank you. I can't stop crying, it took me so long to believe it was abuse.
@sylviacastro484
7 жыл бұрын
Charlie Sharp in Hispanic families they don't talk about it - they make you keep quiet - I even kept my dad out of jail for the fear of dcfs taking my brother and I away.. I kept quiet and still have to deal with it today.
@tatelangdon7143
7 жыл бұрын
Sylvia C my mom never said shit to her husband .i have that exact problem rn the problem is i am male and this happen when i was barely going thru puberty and now i idk what i am .because even tho people dont see it like this i was force to like male now im stuck between bi gay or straight and the area i live is homophobic
@Laurenavan
8 жыл бұрын
when I was abused I knew it was wrong b/c the abuser was so secretive. I considered it to be traumatic. It has affected my personality and I've had an eating disorder for 30 years. I feel dirty to this day as a result.
@oliviacadena2036
6 жыл бұрын
Lauren Anon thank you so much for sharing about your experience here!!!!!
@wonderful543
4 жыл бұрын
I feel dirty too, like I'm user up goods, no good.
@thomascrown3600
4 жыл бұрын
Thought I was the only one.
@EmmaCupcake
10 жыл бұрын
Was totally not going to "share" my experience but then asked myself why? And changed my mind. Although this is VERY not like me and am hoping no one I know sees it. It's totally against my brain & everything in my body to share this but here it is-if it helps someone I'm happy. I was sexually abused from the ages of 8-14. I didn't know it was abuse or wrong. It was my neighbour. I went from being a happy confident child to an angry confused, vulnerable teenager. I knew something bad happened to me but my brain didn't let me remember or think about it and I didn't class is as abuse. I was struggling so much I completely lost control of my life and was desperate for someone to help me but didn't know how to ask. I was self harming, running away, started starving myself, and getting into trouble at school. I was referred to CAMHS through my doctor & the school. This is when i revealed what happened to me. She told me I was raped & abused. I didn't believe her. She informed my mum as I was 17. It wasn't really spoken about at home, I got told to leave my school as I was so disruptive and had so many problems, I was making real progress at CAMHS, I trusted her so much and she became my lifeline. Then my psychotherapist left. Things were so bad. Everything was out of control and I was suicidal. My parents were on at me to get a job as I wasn't any longer in education. Which I eventually did, but I couldn't hold any job down. I either got sacked or left and this made my parents really angry and ashamed of me. I couldn't function. I started getting flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks. I wanted revenge, I couldn't ignore wat had happened to me even tho I tried. I knew it would disappoint my parents but I had to confront him or act out what I was feeling. I started destroying his car etc, and eventually there was a confrontation and he was in my house telling my parents what I have done. They told him it's because I have accused him of sexually abusing me which he denied. & he left. I was told the next day I have to put all this behind me now& move on. I tried. So much. I got a job. It lasted for a few months, I seemed to b on track and "ok". Then the flashbacks started again, the restricting, the self harm. I began having obsessive thoughts & had to constantly wash and scrub my hands, until they are bleeding. People at work began to worry. My attendance dropped and my behaviour at work was worrying (so I was told). One day I was pulled into a room and asked if everything was ok with me, and I couldn't keep up the fight anymore. I broke down and told them everything. Next thing I was being driven to the nearest police station and I had reported it to the police. 18months later there was a crown court case.I never told parents until 2weeks before the trial. I had support at work after I disclosed what had happened but unfortunately the company went under and we all got made redundant a few months after I told them and within a few weeks i was out of a job. The court case was another ordeal in itself. He got not guilty and not one person from the jury believed me. It was horrendous, But that's just my experience. I didn't have any support or help during this time, & I was not at my best mentally. It lasted 2&half weeks, and the whole event was really detrimental to my mental health & I was told recently I now suffer from PTSD from the court case not even the abuse itself!. The court case was 6years ago. Im now 26. I still struggle so much and have t wanted to get help as I know my parents want me to just live my life and be happy, and don't want to admit the problems I have. So I tried hiding them. But I've been on antidepressants for 2 years now and have seen a few psychiatrists etc. I'm now on the nhs waiting list for CBT therapy and to see a psychotherapist to talk through my abuse. This terrifies me but I know I need help. Although I have to wait over a year for help as editing lists in uk are so long. Sorry this is so long. There's so much more to it. I've never met anyone I'm aware of that has been sexually abused as a child. I hope my story/experience has helped/enlightened someone. The only advise I can give is never ignore your problems as they never magically go away and always put your feelings first. If u think u need help u probably do and u should get it. Don't be ashamed to ask for or get help.You deserve to be happy. Thanks @Kati Morton for this video. it helped me alot and reminds me it's never my fault, and it's ok to get help.xxx
@kl9076
7 жыл бұрын
Emma Cupcake I feel sorry for your experience. You're such a brave girl that I even feel ashamed of telling my own abusr experience ever.
@xostrawberry21
7 жыл бұрын
Reading that was almost like I was reading something I wrote myself. Pretty much all of it Minus the therapy bit. It was also a neighbour for me, I also went from a happy kid to a vulnerable confused kid who often didn't eat. Took me forever to get a job and keep it.... I'm turning 25 soon and it still affects me..... thanks for sharing even tho at first you didn't want to
@katherineejessup
5 жыл бұрын
I hope your feeling better now Emma! And got the help you needed and deserve! 💗
@ha8236
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this! I read everything you wrote and just knowing I am not alone..helped. I am so sorry to hear everything you went through. I wish you recovery and health..
@jelly_spillthetea-sis9552
4 жыл бұрын
This is basically the same thing I’m going through I’m actually a bit shy and everyone in my class is very very interested but I’m not telling sorry but I want to keep is personal hope you get better. LOVE MARDEN ROSE❤️
@spencerp2093
8 жыл бұрын
This video was very helpful...when I was 6 to 8 years old i was raped by my older half brother who was 14 at the time. when it was happening i didn't that what was happening was wrong and so when i was 8 i told my mother about the games he had made, my mother freaked out and started screaming him until my aunt took over to her house. Most of my family took his side and blamed me for it and everyone in that small town refused to acknowledge that it actually happened especially the police who also blamed me and lets my rapist go without any consequences for his actions. So around the age of 11 i started to realize what happened and also grew to blame myself for it. At 12 I started to starve myself , mutilate my skin, and have suicidal thoughts. This continued until the middle of my 9th grade year of high school ( i was 14). Now I'm 15 and haven't done any of these terrible things since then but I still struggle suicidal thoughts.This video helped me come to terms with the fact it wasn't my fault i was raped.
@shylocie595
8 жыл бұрын
I so wish the best to you. You are a precious child that deserves so much more than how you have been treated. Please take comfort in knowing there are many of use who understand your pain and anger.
@ImORtalRAin718
4 жыл бұрын
Even though you might not see this comment since it's from 3 years ago I just wanted to say that I really hope you're in a better place now and surrounded by people you love and who love you. ❤
@eflikimlkfk1
9 жыл бұрын
I was sexually abused by my grandfather. I felt as a child that something about him felt off to me, and I told my parents he is "touching me" when I was about 12. The physical part ended then however, he continued verbally, visually, and emotionally, and that is the part I did not understand (he is not touching me so why do I feel weird?) until I started therapy and studying sexual abuse in depth. The most life-altering consequence of this abuse for me has been my emetophobia (severe phobia of vomiting). Beside many other things.
@cloroxbleach1367
8 жыл бұрын
I was sexually abused my my parents when I was very young, they made me watch things and my mom would do stuff in front of me. about a year back my brother tried to rape me and I experienced awful things with my brother that at the time I hadn't known was wrong. I feel disgusted by it to this day and still can't talk about it in therapy. I was abused for years and am only recently discovering that everything that happened was wrong. I'm beginning to believe I won't ever talk about it and I have awful effects because of this stuff. I wouldn't wish it upon anybody and anyone who did go through it I'm so sorry because I know how dirty and horrible it makes you feel. Stay strong and don't give up, recovery is possible ❤
@smallspidersad78
8 жыл бұрын
+TrinityAvery 420 I am so sorry this happened to you
@cloroxbleach1367
8 жыл бұрын
That is literally the sweetest thing anybody has ever said you are such a good person and I wish you the best ❤
@Adia363
8 жыл бұрын
You are beautiful
@tqh1786
5 жыл бұрын
One of the biggest struggle of healing from sexual abuse are intrusive thoughts of looking back and wonder if experiences that had gone wrong and added a whole lot of regrets, sadness, self hatred, etc, would have been avoided. Those you’ve hurt and lose because your behaviors were messed up based on effects of sexual abuse. It’s part of a long process to forgive yourself from what you have done. Can’t say it wasn’t my fault cause you did hurt people. It drives one crazy trying to figure out if it would have been different. Some may say to learn from it and move on. It’s not that simple when again, regret is stuck in the head and heart.
@Brandy_j5
8 жыл бұрын
I have talked about being molested as a child, so many times that I really don't want to talk about it anymore. I guess you can say that I am over talking about it to therapist and to other survivors/victims. I just want to over come it, but I don't want to talk about it in detail anymore (if that makes sense). My family members who I spoke to about it ALL swept it under the rug. My mother never apologized for putting me in that predictument because she send us to another country to live with people who she did not know nor related to and she did not come with me. Growing up, I remember acting out sexually at the age of 7-8 and she would always give me spankings. Not ONE time did she ask me about someone hurting me. So, now as an adult, I'm left to pick up the pieces. But I really don't know where to start.
@erincruz1074
8 жыл бұрын
Good luck. You can do it. You'll figure it out. You figured it out until here, by yourself, right? Held on to what you knew? So, you can do it.
@oliviacadena2036
6 жыл бұрын
Brandy Jones I can really relate to you here ,brandy. It is very difficult and painful. I've grown tired too,like you say. I just want to just heal now, too., I know that feeling!!! Thanks for sharing about your experience here. I'm sure it helps many people. 😥
@RubySlippers1100
6 жыл бұрын
Divine World I know exactly how u feel. You want to get past it, but u don't want to start over with the WHOLE story!
@sevvensinz
5 жыл бұрын
I can relate. I was abused by my uncle and some of my family members knew but nobody really talked about it. When my mom first find out, we went to the doctor to check out if I’m still a virgin. Yes, instead of taking care of my mental health, my family decided to go to the doctor with me because that was way more important to them. I feel like my Trauma is getting worse and worse with each passing year.
@RubySlippers1100
5 жыл бұрын
Sam X I can relate!! It never leaves and sometimes almost crushes your life! My heart goes out to you♥️
@jessicaleon260
7 жыл бұрын
I love this i always wanted to hear these words from someone it is not my fault it is the person who hurt me
@yvettegivens7
8 жыл бұрын
I acquired anxiety and it surfaced thru EMDR that at 4 I was abused sexually. I didn't remember til much much older!! even though it was hidden it greatly affected my life. Glad I know the truth now and that truth will set me free!!
@rory3155
7 жыл бұрын
Yvette Givens hey! I think I saw you on the London private therapy KZitem channel. Hope you're well!
@yvettegivens7
7 жыл бұрын
Angel I'm so sorry!! it's terrible!! I'm still healing and processing. I hope you are well!!
@yvettegivens7
7 жыл бұрын
Madeleine Benson I'm well dear. hope you are too!!
@brittneyrobison8617
10 жыл бұрын
Katie, out of every video you've posted...this hit me the hardest because that explained my childhood. I felt exactly how you explained and thought I was the only one with that kind of situation. Thank you for being so helpful to others! :) I appreciate it and it means a lot!!
@LuckyOlivia44
6 жыл бұрын
I was molested by my father when I believe I was around 11 years old. I can't honestly say how long or how many years it continued as I have sort of pushed some things out of my memory. If I try really hard to remember details, sometimes I will remember something that I had forgotten and it will shock me. He had a way of bribing me, and making me feel guilty for not doing what he wanted me to. I never reported it, and I still love my father, but it will never be the same. I'm 21 and I still live at home with my family and see him everyday. A few years ago I got up the courage to confront him about it, and what he said to me just went through me. He said "I thought you wanted it." He thought that I liked it and that I wanted it. That kills me.
@yasminemansouri1219
5 жыл бұрын
Guns_N_Duff_Rose this is what scares me about confrontation, the fact that the answer may shatter me even more
@realisticeyeball
5 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I confronted my mom recently and she said she thought it was a good idea because it would "help me become a man"
@ivys2769
5 жыл бұрын
Please get out of there! I know it is the scariest thing to feel like destroying your family, but you cannot start to heal unless you distance yourself from him. And it is not your fault!! You were manipulated in the most evil way by the person you naturally trusted most, your parent! You don‘t need to confront him, ask a neutral person (like a counselor) to do that after you have collected the strength (some never do and that’s fine too! All that matters is your own health). Take care of yourself! You are worthy of a life without fear and guilt and disgust! Trust your instinct, even though your mind tried to protect you by burying those memories. You have every right in the world to walk away from anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable and worse. You will be alright and whole again. This (sadly) has happened to people that you wouldn’t ever believe, like celebrities, people that have their life together, people with husbands and great jobs and wonderful lives. You‘re not alone and you can overcome it. I believe in you! (Sorry, not a native speaker.) f, 26y
@LuckyOlivia44
6 ай бұрын
@@yasminemansouri1219I actually just confronted him for the second time in my life recently and he refused to take any accountability for his actions, has never apologized, and then he shut down the conversation. I’m done trying. I can’t keep expecting him to do those things, it’ll just hurt me more in the end. I hope you are doing well and doing what you need to heal ❤
@LuckyOlivia44
6 ай бұрын
@@realisticeyeballThe things an abuser will say to make themselves feel better about the situation are appalling, I’m sorry you had to go through that.
@Callie6685
6 жыл бұрын
I wish I had found this earlier. I spoke up in the Spring of 2014 and I was exiled. I'm from a wealthy ranching family and tarnished the family name. I ran away so many times but went back to protect my three younger siblings. He had already damaged me and I didn't want them to have to go through it. I tried to save them. I'm now a BSN RN and want to go back to school and be a nurse attorney. I also want to volunteer with CASA. Noone spoke up for me nor my siblings. My Momma was a silent accomplice. My dad was a drunk and I was afraid he'd kill me. I lived my life in fear.
@clementine676
8 жыл бұрын
Kati I was sexually abused 15 years ago and ever since then I have had physical problems like incontinence and sexual health issues. A nurse told me it is to do with subconscious trauma from the abuse and that I need to have counselling to help heal traumas in my mind. The only problems is I have never really let it affect me emotionally/properly acknowledged it. It's like I've removed myself from my memories and dissociated myself from them even though I know they happened. It was an awful thing that happened and I didn't want to associate myself with it so I pretended it never happened. How can I heal from trauma when it is so pushed to the back of my mind?
@pamisolester6651
10 жыл бұрын
That is exactly why I think sexual education is so important early on!! I was sexually abused as very young child (preschool) and I had absolutely no chance to understand what it was about. I wish I knew and could protect myself better. To know it is something wrong and go tell someone about it. But I felt it is what people do and it is ok. I learn much later it is not but it went on for so long already and not only with one person I was too ashamed to tell anyone so I just kept it secret for another 20 years. I am writing my masters paper on this topic right now " The importance of sexual education as prevention of childhood sexual abuse". Hope people would talk to their children about their right to keep their bodies private from anybody and not just tell them to not go to strangers as that doesn´t do the job at all.
@annaleesummer7710
4 жыл бұрын
Same
@jaeljade3609
6 жыл бұрын
I think i could have dealt with just the sexual abuse but when it's compounded with other abuses it's just so overwhelming. I'm nearly 48 and still struggling in life. I don't have the energy to keep fighting it all. I had a sexually abusive neighbor, a sadistic mean father, and another neighbor that stalked me for yrs, flashing me, peering into my bedroom and so on. I've also been a witness to a couple murders. My life reads like a horror novel. It left me so messed up, suicidal and depressed. Not everyone has great access to a wonderful therapist that can help. I turned out to be a very good, kind and caring person but always had an addiction to one thing or another. If it wasn't cigarettes then it was food, drugs or even sex. For the first time in my life since maybe the age of 9, I'm not on anything. It's been about 5 months and I'm proud of myself but struggling because i don't know why i decided to go straight. On the drugs i at least slept. Having a sober mind is a strange thing for me. I'm going to continue with it because i know it hasn't been that long, but if i can't find some good help i know I'll be right back taking pain meds. I've only had one good therapist that knew what she was talking about and you sound like her. I somehow find all the quacks out there. I don't know how to go about finding someone who's actually good. I had to leave my good therapist because my husband got a job in Florida so we moved away. That just about killed me because she was important to me. We still email each other, she's sweet like that, but she's no longer treating me and i know my boundaries.
@michelleross9782
5 жыл бұрын
Jael, I am so proud of you! You are a fighter (like me) I don't know if you have insurance or not. If no, all states must have a Mental Health Department. You don't get very much say in who you have as a therapist (male or female was only preference I got) but the person will be educated the same as any other therapist & if they are working there it isn't for money but they truly want to help people. BTW I've had 60 mental health providers since I was 5 because of various issues (parent ability/willingness to pay and/or take me, school counselors, moving, whether I had ins and/or money, just didn't feel I was getting anywhere, felt I didn't need to see one). Now I have interview questions for a new counselor. Here are a few: Why did you get into counseling? Were you in counseling before you became a counselor,?What issues do you work with the most ?(if your issue isn't on list you can decide to ask the next question based on if you want to) Why do you not work with "..."? Do you believe in God?
@victoriousballa236
6 жыл бұрын
Self forgiveness! Is a must, we were also neglected starved for affection. Using our own needs against us. So evil.
@RoseMetheny
8 жыл бұрын
hi katie, i just found your videos - thank you so much. i just watched the csa video and im so much deeper in pain and understanding than this video shows....i still have to watch the healing video which i will right now but in the last 2 years i have had a complete meltdown where my mind and body is so consumed with the incest and betrayal and brokenness.... i feel an enormous amount of guilt shame and brokenness....i can barely breathe. thank u for your videos - they are very helpful and informative but i thought i would share that from my own experience the incest has completely killed my spirit and i don't even know where to find the right help...where i feel that the person helping me actually knows what i'm going through.... i do like your channel, thank you so much for doing this
@awakeaftermidnight
6 жыл бұрын
I was 5 when it happened to me. it was done by my neighbors 2 teenage sons. I remember being pushed down onto the bathroom floor and being abused (raped) on more than one occasion. it went on for a long time. my mom always suspected but didn't know for sure. she tried to keep me away from them as often as possible. put me in daycare to get me out of the house during the day. they were bold, molesting me in front of other people under blankets, etc. I was young, I wasn't aware (at the time) that anything bad was happening. when you're a child, and an adult tells you to do something, you listen. regardless if it makes you feel weird or uncomfortable. you're taught to listen to your elders. when I was in the 5th grade, I finally told someone (school counselor) what happened. I drew a picture of myself with a hole inside me. by then, my abusers were long gone and to this day they remain unpunished for their crimes. I remember their first names, but not their last. I will always remember who they are. I turn 43 this year. I have struggled with severe anxiety issues (general panic disorder, agoraphobia, etc) for years, depression, and PTSD. I have difficulty trusting others, especially men. and I cannot cope with being touched by others in a sexual manner. some days, I can't even handle being touched in a platonic manner. I will struggle with these issues for the rest of my life and I will always be on medication because of it. if you suspect anything is happening to your child, get them help. do not wait until it is too late. I was only in counseling for a very short time. I believe if I had been to see a therapist at that time for a longer period, I wouldn't have some of the issues that I have today and have had for years.
@SamiSmolboi
5 жыл бұрын
I had repressed years of memories. They suddenly came flooding back last week. Now i know why i am so fucked up with mental illness and personality disorders. The man is still in my life...
@Black92Grey
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you Kati. I really needed it. 11 years until it all ended and I'm still struggling from the memories. 23 F
@nuregamiden3541
10 жыл бұрын
Hey Kati, this video was really helpful, as usual :3 From what you have said, I feel like my circumstances may have been different, because even the first time I was sexually abused by a family member, I knew it was wrong, and even after seven years of it I never ended up blaming myself. It's been six years since it finally stopped, and I don't even feel sad about it anymore, just stupid, and honestly so angry all the time.
@abbylynn1056
7 жыл бұрын
Sophisticated Cleffa I hate that this post was two years ago bc I would love to talk to you now
@girl.in.rainbow.glitter
6 жыл бұрын
It started when I was 7 until I was 12 by my mother's fiance. I always feel like I could have said no. I was a verbal child but yet I didn't stop this from happening. I still feel like I could have stopped this.
@bensmith8957
3 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry that happened to you
@brianneflowers7518
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video. As a young child, I thought what was happening to me was a normal act. Now that I am older, and have looked back on my childhood, I've realized this past year that it wasn't. I felt ashamed for letting it happen, not defending myself at the moment, and often took it out on myself through cutting. This video has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, I now know that my feelings and my thoughts are normal. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
@doggie15rat
10 жыл бұрын
This video is sooo helpful! Thank you!!! Pleaseeee do more on this topic
@oliviacadena2036
6 жыл бұрын
Rachel Sonia yes, many need to find answers.
@energemgrsmcontent7720
6 жыл бұрын
TW: When I was abused, I honestly thought it was normal. I did find it odd that he wanted me to take my clothes off when he gave me would rub my back, arms and legs. But he said he knew what he was doing and as a child I trusted him.
@marleighjoy134
10 жыл бұрын
I really identify this as far as my emotional abuse is concerned. I knew growing up (from the little I can remember) that I hated when my dad yelled and went on rages and said hurtful things but I honestly didn't understand that that wasn't normal, that it wasn't how every other family in America worked until I was 16. I was at a bible study, just watching a girl and her dad have some every day exchange and all of a sudden it was like someone turned the light on. I was really messed up after that, just because like you said it redefined my whole life. I was suddenly seeing and facing things I never had before and it was really overwhelming. I think I felt the pain of his "attacks" more after that and I know I remembered them much better. As far as sexual abuse, that's a journey I'm still on. I have a lot of signs that it happened at some point but no memories in my head yet to back it up, just a lot of gut reactions, fears, and body memories if that makes sense. I would definitely like to see more on this topic, both because it's a personal journey I'm on right now and because it really isn't talked about enough, even in the mental health community.
@yasminemansouri1219
5 жыл бұрын
Marleigh Joy wow @ body memories, really makes sense yes!!
@jougjimmadome
6 жыл бұрын
i think i was sexually abused as a child but i have no memory of it, just the feelings and a large memory gap. is this possible?
@mylifejen6372
5 жыл бұрын
James Mertens this is what i am working on in therapy. I don’t have memories of the sexual abuse, but “all the signs are there” like, when i was in my 20’s i just knew. I am 44 now, finally in therapy. Working with a great therapist doing EMDR, and it’s been an incredibly difficult journey seeking healing, but all of the pieces in my life are falling into place. It’s the first time In my life I haven’t felt crazy.
@alysonw0nderland
10 жыл бұрын
This video really hit home with me. I was sexually and verbally abused multiple times from ages 14 to 15, and thinking back I really didn't have any idea what was happening. I knew something wasn't right but not that I needed to tell someone or do something about it. It was my step dad and at the time I loved him more than my actual father. But what you said about not realizing it until later makes so much sense. I didn't report it until months later because I had no idea .... It wasn't until my best friend at the time said he looked like a child molester that I actually realized the severity of the situation. And the moment that I came to that realization was one of those times I'll never forget.
@anonymous-dd8lk
7 жыл бұрын
I was abused at 5 by a 16 yr cousin when i was left alone with him for some time as my parents had to go somewhere. It wasnt my fault. But, my mother says its my fault...she said i shouldn't have allowed him....i was confused, scared and frozen at that moment...that i was not able to do anything.
@katyisgone
7 жыл бұрын
anonymous ***** yeah :( this happens to a lot of victims, they are blamed by the ignorant. most people don't realise that it's not like the movies, it's rarely violent. no matter what age, freezing is normal xx
@anonymous-dd8lk
7 жыл бұрын
Yah !! the fact is my mother also suffers through this , she wont show...but, she is not able to understand that a simple sorry to her child would make a great difference. My advise to all the parents there...if at all they are reading this....if, ua child goes through this plz accept that it is't ur childs fault n a simple sorry would make a great difference.... that ur decision to leave ur child with that beast was wrong ....even though u didn't have any idea that he would do so. And tell the child that u r with him/her. Blaming that little kid would trouble his/her feelings further.
@yh2059376
8 жыл бұрын
You are amazing, I'm very happy I found you 😀
@coolwater644
6 жыл бұрын
In my case, I get flashbacks that I can't make sense of. Feelings. Home was chaotic because of my dads alcoholism. It's really hard to know how to make the feelings go away. It impacts my life and I have done a lot of self healing but I still can't sleep if I am on my own and I cannot 'let go' in the bedroom.
@robynboyleart8889
4 жыл бұрын
I'm a therapist but I can't explain how much I needed to see this today. Thank you.
@mcavelli84
7 жыл бұрын
I was four when I was abused by a neighbor kid (he was 9-ish) and knew (as a gut feeling) it was wrong, but in telling my parents I was made to believe that it was my fault. What makes my situation unique is that A: I realized this at the time at 4 and B: one parent didn't listen when I went to them, the other just wondered why I didn't come to anyone sooner instead of...you know....being my parent (spoiler (I deal with this in humor): They were terrible people). I stuffed it until I was around 27 (about 5 years ago) when in therapy I started talking about it because I have still yet to overcome the fear of relationships. I'm still figuring it out.
@isabellamathis6159
6 жыл бұрын
Honestly, I feel the only thing really holding me back from moving on from my childhood sexual abuse, it wasn't that bad as in I wasn't raped and it wasn't prolonged, is my family's lack of acknowledgment and not willing to admit I was sexually abused literally about an hour ago my mother just told me she doesn't know if someone touching me while I was sleeping is considered sexual abuse because I'm not "traumatized" but she doesn't know the thoughts or dreams I have and I may not have PTSD but there are certain aspects it holds me back that I don't talk to her about. It's nice to feel like I'm not alone. Mind you I only spoke to her about it because she went to dinner with him and my grandmother and they know what he did, but "she would be a hypocrite" for being angry at him because he's helped her financially when we've needed it and I told her either way it hurt me.
@laurelinlorefield318
10 жыл бұрын
What is the research saying about when the abuser is not known ... a stranger?
@MrL1O1V1E1
6 жыл бұрын
It's like you're speaking directly to me
@karenmarshall8451
6 жыл бұрын
I took it as love and attention since I was ignored by my mom and dad. When I found out it was wrong I did become hypersexual. My thought was I was already damaged so it shouldn't matter if I did it more. I never had the save it until you get married I disassociated and never had the opportunity to confront them. Now my parents are dead and I have no idea where the abuser is.
@clrought
8 жыл бұрын
What about those who were punished & neglected & rejected after sexual abuse.
@oliviacadena2036
6 жыл бұрын
Cathy Key I agree, and really good questions!! Hope they get answered for us all.
@oliviacadena2036
6 жыл бұрын
😣😣😣
@serenj7705
4 жыл бұрын
Yep sand
@serenj7705
4 жыл бұрын
Same*
@tompalmer5986
9 жыл бұрын
When I was little so much of my inner emotional life would have been catastrophic if I had expressed it out loud. In the name of all the sufferers of child abuse, keep on keep'in on!!!!
@KevinWalker7339
10 жыл бұрын
Hi Kati - This video was really helpful for me. I was a bit confused at the beginning, because I didn't realize that you were talking specifically about young children. My experience may have been a bit different because there were things that happened at a really young age (4) as well as some things that happened at 9, 10, and 11. So I didn't have the kind of epiphany experience that you described ... Or maybe I did, and it actually was when I was an older child, because my reactions then were really different ... Anyways, for me, shame, guilt, fear, and helplessness were what I experienced as an older child _about_ the abuse that was going on then. I felt betrayed by that abuser more so than by the earlier abuser ... IDK - it's still upsetting to write about. Thanks for making the video - you have such great insights!
@sam4330
5 жыл бұрын
Wow. This explained a lot! I never understood how it could be that childhood sexual abuse is often talked about as more traumatizing than physical abuse, because a child doesn't understand what it is. But this makes a lot of sense.
@threebehindascreen4121
8 жыл бұрын
I hate that I was 16 and still didn't know it was wrong 😔
@theawkwardsideofyoutube4741
7 жыл бұрын
Nicky Fitch I hate that it started when I was 3.. And I continued to convince myself it was okay until I was 11.. When I caught him doing it to my younger sister. I can't heal. I just can't.
@phishfullofasha
7 жыл бұрын
Nicky Fitch I'm so sorry you feel this way. That sounds like such a burden.
@queenapple9012
5 жыл бұрын
The day I found out I what online grooming is...in my teen years made me feel disgusted with myself. To think I was 9-10 years old chatting with older men and how they were treated make me sick. I do feel stupid and ashame that I dedicated my youth to someone so bad.
@maylilly6645
10 жыл бұрын
Awesome video Kati! Thanks so much! This video is a great reminder for me that I'm not alone as an abuse victim and that so many others feel the same guilt shame etc. Here's to healing
@michelleross9782
5 жыл бұрын
Amazing book about surviving sexual abuse is "The Wounded Heart" by Dr. Dan Allender. If any of you in the comments can't get it, let me know and I will try to help you get it.
@lilembarrassing9247
5 жыл бұрын
I'm sad reading these comments but I also feel really comforted that I am not alone.. I always felt so alone Edit: I'm taking the step tomorrow. I'm contacting a center for sexual abuse and incest victims. I'm finally ready now
@TMTgirl
4 жыл бұрын
"The Trauma Myth" is a really good book. I've never been through it, and I feel like I understand it so much more than before I read this particular book. ❤ ❤ ❤
@TraumaTalk
6 жыл бұрын
Such a difficult topic, but one that is so incredibly important!
@novao6270
10 жыл бұрын
Thank you so, so, SO much for this video!!!!
@AO-sz5ci
6 жыл бұрын
Welp I’m here now because my uncle who molested me as a child just tried to add me on Facebook..I’m 26 years old 😪 how do people get the courage to even seek help..it’s like I wanna finally talk to someone about what i went through but I’m also so scared to open up.
@cdmay4
7 жыл бұрын
I felt like I asked for it. I had asked my cousin who was supposed to be my babysitter to marry me when I was 6 and he said instead he would show me "what married people do" I was lucky because he was caught early and my mom immediately put me in therapy and talked to me about it and I was eventually able to overcome the blame but it came back when there was someone who had been called in to teach us about this. I don't remember what it was but something she said seemed like it would just increase self blame in other victims so I tried to ask a question so she could correct it by using my own experience but clearly it came out wrong "what if the person asking asks for the relationship indirectly and id too young to know better" She glared at me and said no. If they ask it's their fault age doesn't matter. I know logically she was wrong and didn't know my situation but it suddenly felt like I was the one in wrong again and it never really went away.
@camryn5709
8 жыл бұрын
Katie, is there a way that I can uncover repressed memories of sexual abuse safely and by myself?
@brookeedwards1578
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you SO much for giving people validation and support.. it's a hard thing for people to hear and understand so it's really great coming and seeing a friendly, educated face talking about the topic.
@EricatheWhovian
10 жыл бұрын
Can you make a video on emotional/mental abuse sometime? My therapist says that my childhood daycare was an abusive environment and that it was a "trama". I feel like it doesn't count because all they did was call me things and isolate me at times. I feel like I don't have the right to call it trama... It was just words. Thanks, love your videos.
@Ishtarthemoon
6 жыл бұрын
definitely sounds like trauma!
@jeanettemolina592
4 жыл бұрын
I’m 25 I was sexually abused at the age of 14/15 by my stepfather when I decided to speak up no one believed me. So I’ve never spoke up again till this day it haunts me and my mom is still married to this man I want to finally speak with my mom and tell her everything but I just don’t want her happiness to go down. I don’t want to hurt her. I’m An adult now how can I finally speak up and be in peace
@theleader5439
4 жыл бұрын
Go to counseling first. I spoke out before counseling and it was traumatizing. There sexual assault centers that also offer grants if you can’t pay for counseling. Do counseling to help prepare you for whatever response you receive. Even time can sometimes not make a difference. Sending strength your way.
@bernadettecruz7240
10 жыл бұрын
Awesome video Kati. You're so right about everything you said...thank you for clarifying
@MsHellokitty2828
6 жыл бұрын
thank you for thus video, i need it so badly today
@theusedbert24
9 жыл бұрын
Is treatment different for children who were sexually assaulted by a stranger? Especially if the child knew right then and there that it was a bad thing, fought back, and told their parent(s) right away?
@x3cookiechanx326
6 жыл бұрын
I was sexualy abused for years from a young age I didn't say anything I thought it was my fault I wanted to harm myself I never did I was nearly in my teen years I became depressed but now I'm 13 I didn't long tell someone and I'm still not over it
@papondahoops
10 жыл бұрын
Really great follow-up to Friday's video. Thank you!
@airyfairy4
8 жыл бұрын
What if the perpetrator was an older child/early teen? Is that still abuse?
@threebehindascreen4121
8 жыл бұрын
yes x
@YouLikeKrabbyPattiesDontYou
6 жыл бұрын
yes, there's a specific term for it, child-on-child sexual abuse (or COCSA).
@theresamischeski71
6 жыл бұрын
airyfairy4 yes 100%
@layslifestyle2265
6 жыл бұрын
If you feel ashamed,guilty and unrecoverable. It definitely is. I did some with my sis and I still feel guilty.
@RubySlippers1100
6 жыл бұрын
airyfairy4 Yes!!!! It most definitely is!
@Jen_l_g
7 жыл бұрын
please don't stop making your videos they are helpful
@kimbers1238
8 жыл бұрын
I guess mine was different. I remember even the grooming process. and although I didn't know what was happening I knew it was wrong. partly because he would always tell me how nasty I was.
@overblueskies
3 жыл бұрын
I know you said that most are not violent or scary encounters, your intention wasn’t to make me feel more alone but that is definitely what just happened. Because mine was, and went on for a long time. I’m not really sure what I should feel or where I can go for info tailored to me or my story. It truly is soooo disheartening and lonely.
@davidtichborne5090
5 жыл бұрын
I accually new that the physical abuse and emotional abuse that was happening to me was wrong but both my mom and my despicable stepdad made me believe that we always deserved it
@vegethiagoddess8268
5 жыл бұрын
Once I try to tell my mother the truth no matter what I told her she did not believe me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
@RomneyGack
6 жыл бұрын
My wife was abused at age 4 and 12. It has messed her up and now she wants a divorce. I am heartbroken but she has put up so many walls that you just can't get through.
@suzannevelasquez863
7 жыл бұрын
Hi Kati, I don't talk about my sexual abuse as a child, never mind even reaching out as I am now. I saw your video stressing how great "the Courage to Heal Workbook"...I spent a month thinking it over and reading reviews. I am skeptical but I am at a wits end about my "lack of" sexual feelings towards my Partner and that I'm making his life a hell by not giving him a "healthy sex life". He is patient, but its been 7 years now and I really need to get help. I bought the book and I started to read it last night. Thank you for the First Step to healing for me. I will keep you posted as to...my progress. Best Regards, Suzanne
@samwalker9616
2 ай бұрын
I only completely realized this was by the time I was 22. Subconsciously I buried it internally. It only came out when I was drunk. Watching this made me tear up.
@nathanboyd2244
5 жыл бұрын
I don’t think I ever healed and it affected my behaviour as an adult, I’ve only ever told 1 partner the truth about what happened, but my behaviour from my past affected my current relationship, all I say it definitely get therapy based on sexual abuse I’m one session in , and Im starting realise how much it affected me 😞 anyone Got a time Machine I want my Guerra back ❤️😞😞
@katjavestergaard489
6 жыл бұрын
Kati, I hope you see this comment. I was sexually abused by my own father when I was a child. He denied it. I am 27 now and still struggle with its affects. Can you tell me why I still love my father and if that's not normal? It's almost like I want to believe my dad didn't mean to do it because I also had good times with him that I don't want to let go of by "hating" him. Thanks ♡
@MTBWithMultipleSclerosis
6 жыл бұрын
Katja Vestergaard So the same issue as you! I’m now 30 and struggling with the same thing! I’m still finding answers myself but know your not alone xx
@LuckyOlivia44
6 жыл бұрын
Katja Vestergaard / My story is very similar except I am 21 and when I confronted my father about it he said he thought that I didn't remember and that he thought I wanted it. I still love him as well and it makes everything that much more difficult and confusing. My childhood wasn't all bad, it was pretty decent actually. And aside from what he did to me (and cheating on my mom, but that's another story), he's a respectful, helpful, hard working, and nice person. I don't know if it's normal to still love him or not, but I totally understand where you're coming from there. I hope you can overcome what happened to you as well.
@MTBWithMultipleSclerosis
6 жыл бұрын
Guns_N_Duff_Rose Trying to get my head around what we are dealing with is one of the hardest things to do and articulate hey! Still trying to make sense of it all, but not only that but how we can go so long not knowing or how we can forgot such an event! So would have been better off not knowing, thoughts don’t stop but can only hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel 🙌🏽
@toniboyer3322
8 жыл бұрын
I had the bad feeling in my tummy when i was four, i felt like i was a grown up already. did not realize it was actually wrong until i was about 12. i didn't know until then that i could tell. told mom but she told me to go back to bed. did nothing.
@Elliepixie12
10 жыл бұрын
Kati is everything okay? There have been no videos since this one and I was worried. Is anything wrong? I hope you're okay and I'm being silly! Please be well. Love trace XOXOX
@ashcash4416
10 жыл бұрын
Shes at vlogger fair and will be posting a video this Monday :)
@rebeccawatson535
9 жыл бұрын
this is brilliant, your so right. everything you said it was like you were actually talking to me
@meggoeggo143
10 жыл бұрын
what if your abuser was also a child at the time close to the same age?
@music0cool
10 жыл бұрын
That child, if you two were quite young, was probably also sexually abused. Some sexually abused children act out what happened to them on their toys or other children.
@paulapoetry
10 жыл бұрын
I only just saw this post. I have just asked the same thing.
@paulapoetry
10 жыл бұрын
paulapoetry I read about a girl who was raped at 16 by a 14 year old and the courts did more to protect him because he was technically underage. She went through hell and eventually took her own life.
@paulapoetry
10 жыл бұрын
paulapoetry At 16/17 some people are almost like 25 year olds. Others (like myself) were still basically kids.
@paulapoetry
10 жыл бұрын
paulapoetry I was abused at 15 and 16 but the two incidents were weeks apart, and he was my age. I was stranger raped at 17 and 18 but went through much more. I haven't had sex since I was 22 and won't ever again. It means I can't ever have kids.
@glitterberrycherry7954
10 жыл бұрын
My story ~ I was sexually abused at a child when I was 6/7 and I thought it wasent wrong because you are sapose to love and trust your parents so what they were doing is right and you have to trust them ... Now I know this is not the case and I am going to seek help in and mention it to my therapist and see what she has to say about it because when I realised this was wrong was when my friends were talking about sex when I was about 13 and I asked them if they have done that and they all said no ... That's when I realised it was not sapose to happen like that ... And it really affects my trust with other adults now because I don't want that to happen again and I don't want to be used like I was so I shall seek help .. Thankyou kati
@mariemonroe5172
6 жыл бұрын
My brother is coming home for Christmas and I just feel like dying.
@hannahriley8085
Жыл бұрын
I think years ago people only thought of sexual abuse as in a violent stranger rape . I've always remembered being sexually abused and even before I knew it was something wrong I still knew it was something I had to keep secret and I had had a positive physical response so when discovering exactly what had happened to me I've been filled with secret shame for the 40 years since. Finding your channel and learning its not unusual is life freeing
@diaz9rox
10 жыл бұрын
I would love if you could do one on child physical abuse? It wuld be very helpful
@neynercrawford8850
4 жыл бұрын
I told my mom about my experiences and she denied it and told me it was nothing and I think that she just denied it because it was another family member doing it.
@dandoona1998
10 жыл бұрын
One of my closest friends had this problem and she is now depressed, suicidal and self harms but wouldn't tell her mum anything :/
@bluelatrelle5190
4 жыл бұрын
this has cleared up so much for me. thank you so much.
@jennyhughes1281
8 жыл бұрын
it has literally destroy my chance to live because I waited too late to reach for help now I feel like I am to far gone I am 37 and have never had a romantic relationship and I have such a severe weight problem that there is really not much hope
@smallspidersad78
8 жыл бұрын
+Jennifer Hughes There is always hope. You have not waited too long, you are not too far gone. Vera Wang didn't start designing clothes until she was 40. There is no such thing as too old, too late. You deserve to work through this
@Belihoney
8 жыл бұрын
+Charlie Sharp what a charming reply! Yes you deserve to work through it!
@Sayurichyan
7 жыл бұрын
my abuser was my brother who is 2 yr younger than me
@kristen2439
5 жыл бұрын
Those steps I can remember it was worse during my teenage years even though it happened when I was 3..
@mailorderbride1570
5 жыл бұрын
The problem is often not the Primary Victimization, but rather the Later-order Victimization by: Family, Police, Therapists, Society. We love hanging Labels on People and Situations. Once we claim "Victimization" now the Client feels helpless/betrayed/damaged/broken. Instead, we shouldn't call it "Abuse" but rather "an Event or Series that we need to Process." That way, the person doesn't feel ostracized, but accepted and valued. The had an Experience without preconceived value Judgements or Stereotypical Categories. My "Abuse" wasn't the sexual Act, but the Secrecy/Threats/Fear of others learning what had occurred. If not for these things, it would have been little different than playing "hide and seek" and I could have accepted it as a "somewhat strange but not unpleasant" game, without all of the surrounding Trauma that the Secrecy created. We should reevaluate our 2nd, 3rd, 4th Order Victimization of "Survivors" and recognize it as an Event, like learning to ride a Bicycle, not like the Death of a pet. Something odd, but not requiring Traumatizing the child over.
@bonnieroma8523
6 жыл бұрын
my fathers first cousins husband molested me when I was 7 years old for many years when I saw on Facebook his face sitting at a restaurant I started feeling those feelings he made me feel when I was a little girl he took my childhood away he took my childhood away I have never loved anyone because of him I do not know what love is he stole my childhood I am a survivor but when I saw his face on Facebook it made me feel those terrible terrible terrible things he did to me
Пікірлер: 407