I am 71 and love my age. I have told my female friends and nieces getting old is the best experience of my life. I loved the experience of menopause, loved watching the hot flashes happen throughout my body, but most of all the freedom. I have given up of religious beliefs..and feel what a waste of my life. I have given up on other people’s views on any topic, and trying to conform to their notions what it means to be a women. I love giving up makeup, even though l loved wearing it at the time. The most important thing l have learned is “trust myself”. Really TRUST I myself was the greatest gift l have given myself, and walking way.
@lorencappelson6475
Жыл бұрын
Why did you love the experience of menopause? Im genuinely asking. I fear it tremendously as a gigantic loss, in part bc of what is discussed in this interview (loss of femininity, redefinition of yourself as a woman, etc). These are deeply held misogynistic idea I myself am projecting, which BAD, but they are strong and internalized. So I am really curious to hear about your positive experience and outlook! I don't feel like it gets talked about enough.
@knaw35
Жыл бұрын
@@lorencappelson6475 I do not believe Malone. Her words sound to me as self defense. It’s regular psychological mechanism to hide own fears. I love pain, I love my disadvantages, I love my limits - really?
@anne-sp9cl
Жыл бұрын
As an actual middle aged woman, I have had younger women treat me horribly in the work place. I am 58, and I can't tell you how many times I have been laughed at and mocked during a job interviews last year by women who were between the ages of 28-40. They made fun of my skill set, said their short career was exactly the same as my long and extensive career, and called (in polite ways) computer illiterate. I even had a woman laugh at me for saying I was a woman of color. Newsflash, not all people of mixed race present the same way. Younger female managers and co-workers have been so threatened by me that I have experienced retaliatory disciplinary actions in the work place. As a matter of fact, if a male boss or co-worker had been as abusive as these younger women, he would have been subject to disciplinary action. Younger women in fact seem to go around unchecked with their behavior in the workplace because their male managers fear of an HR related incident. Men in the same demographic have been kind, respectful, and complimentary of my current work and past experience. I work in a male dominated industry, the wine business. When I was in my 20s, I was unloading vans and stocking shelves with the guys as well as selling high-end wines. Women in their 20's now think that because they have some wine certifications and write a blog, they know everything about the wine business. The arrogance is shocking.
@superstock9261
Жыл бұрын
Society has given younger women a hall pass for this behaviour. There's a tacit effort by systems of power and hegemony to embed the oppressed into systems of power and hegemony. This is driven by corporations like Blackrock etc and promoted in the media. The outcome is an unspoken agreement that women are allowed to be aggressive, antagonistic and horrid as long as they tow certain cirporate/hegemony/media propaganda points, ie that : 1) men are toxic 2) that empowerment for women does not need to consider if they are embedding themselves into hegemonic systems 3) that women can speak ill of anyone who dissents against power narratives. The end result are 1) men who over correct, 2) men who are meek. 3) men who don't have the courage to speak up against hegemony and deconstruct it. The outcome is that: 1) the oppressed take on a type of Stockholm syndrome loving their oppressor (hegemonic and capitalist systems) and hating their ally (men within their class structure) 2) oppressed men become so silenced that they become meek and their directed anger towards systems of political and capitalist oppression withers away, men are disarmed of their directed strength and anger whilst women become staunch protectors and Advocates for the status quo of politics, capitalism and media
@jame2182
8 ай бұрын
I'm a mature woman of many years. In my field MY SKILLS are required when the immature and ENTITLED young women need a reality check. So I have the courage along with the wisdom to set things right in areas where the men AND women are afraid of them. One of two outcomes result. I personally fire them or they quit. NOT ONE HAS EVER LEARNED THE LESSON ABOUT LIFE CALLED employee/employer. It doesn't matter because nobody cares😂
@TheNewYorker360
3 ай бұрын
You wrote: "As an actual middle aged woman, I have had younger women treat me horribly in the work place. I am 58, and I can't tell you how many times I have been laughed at and mocked during a job interviews last year by women who were between the ages of 28-40.... "As a matter of fact, if a male boss or co-worker had been as abusive as these younger women, he would have been subject to disciplinary action. Younger women in fact seem to go around unchecked with their behavior in the workplace because their male managers fear of an HR related incident...". Hmmmm. Interesting. Very interesting. end
@MrMark595
Жыл бұрын
Materially wealthy, western, exceedingly comfortable women, with all the benefits of the modern world, benefits denied to millions of poor women-and poor men-across the world discuss their relative loss of status in modern society. When does this extreme self-absorption ever end?
@johnmilius3031
Жыл бұрын
The small 10% minority of men they chose in their prime are now chasing younger women, while they thought that situation would last forever. The entitlement is staggering.
@MrMark595
Жыл бұрын
If they were men I'd think as little of them too. I have no time for this type of shallowness.
@cantonold7014
Жыл бұрын
Never. Unwanted women die alone.
@Maceta444
Жыл бұрын
Based comment
@jame2182
8 ай бұрын
I know, right?
@sherylwhite2201
Жыл бұрын
It's no wonder we felt that difference made us inferior in the bad old days, because the situation was as de Beauvoir named it.... women were considered Other because of our bodily difference from men. I remember someone in broadcasting stating that women couldn't be news announcers because their voices weren't suitable..... just one example of thousands of ways the male view on our difference (and inferiority) was in the air we breathed.
@rerite2
Жыл бұрын
What is a woman?
@maxdashu
9 ай бұрын
I love the insight about on men having an admired legacy that young men look up to, but young women desire to disconnect from older women, that feminism is seen as "a wave that crashes and then recedes.. that women don’t really have a history or a legacy." One thing to remember though is that this is not natural, but an artifact of patriarchal socialization, the desperate attempt to escape from the stigmatized status of female. There are matricultures where women admire and look up to their mothers. Even in male-dominated societies sometimes; i've been struck at how often African-Amerian women, when asked who they admire, reply, "my mother," or "my grandmother."
@goldengibson1958
Жыл бұрын
‘Midlife crisis’ is historically, predominantly a phrase used to describe middle aged men who have an overwhelming feeling that their lives are inadequate, or that their lives have lost the meaning they sought in their youth. Might this be something that women in modern western society are experiencing now that many women are living increasingly independent lives? As a near middle-aged man in this era, I observe that aging men are increasingly also viewed with a particular disdain. Both in society, and in the workplace. For their perceived diminished value in a highly competitive labor market, and as providers for a partner/family if they have not yet achieved financial independence (a condition that applies to a majority of men in modern society.)
@lorencappelson6475
Жыл бұрын
aging people are just viewed with disdain, I think. You only really have 15 years to get your adult life together, and if you don't, any feeling of ennui or malaise or realisation that time and opportunities may have passed you by is judged as a "crisis." When that all seems really important and common, and hugely emotional. I hate this view of aging and worth, esp bc anyone who is 25 now will one day be 55 (hopefully!) so they'll be caught up in that cycle too. I hate it.
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
I don't think this is a new phenomenon. It's just new to us middle-agers because they keep wiping our memories before we have to come back here to live another life. I was watching a video of people in the UK that was filmed back in the 40s and a couple of older women were walking down the street and they said, "People treat you like you shouldn't even be here anymore once you're older." This issue is as old as the hills.
@r8chlletters
Жыл бұрын
The argument for HRT is it prevents bone loss, heart disease, cancer, dementia and a lot more besides. Not having our hormones often results in women shrinking both inside and out and your obvious lack of current understanding about it does not bode well for your suppositions.
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
Yeah but they lie so much to us, they could be lying about this too. HRT is a billion-dollar industry, and that makes me skeptical.
@r8chlletters
Жыл бұрын
@@websurfer5772 whoever “they” is cannot deny clinical results that demonstrate HRT as a meaningful prevention of disease. For some of us, including me, HRT saved my life.
@skenzyme81
Жыл бұрын
The shirt covered with cartoons of various extinct animals is just too perfect. 😂
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
The helmet head in your avatar is perfect for you. 😀
@TheNewYorker360
3 ай бұрын
@Jame2182 wrote: "As an actual middle aged woman, I have had younger women treat me horribly in the work place. I am 58, and I can't tell you how many times I have been laughed at and mocked during a job interviews last year by women who were between the ages of 28-40.... "As a matter of fact, if a male boss or co-worker had been as abusive as these younger women, he would have been subject to disciplinary action. Younger women in fact seem to go around unchecked with their behavior in the workplace because their male managers fear of an HR related incident...". Hmmmmmmm. Interesting. Very interesting.
@julianton3340
10 ай бұрын
As great Italo-Iranian comedian Dominik De Santo put it (losely quoting him): „Feminism today means, it‘s not anymore the patriarchy judging about women but less attractive women.“ 🤣
@lisab2856
Жыл бұрын
This was a brilliant interview on a topic that is very rarely spoken about but that deserves a more honest conversation around it. A lot of demonisation of and control of women has always come from other women, unfortunately. Thanks Victoria and Hadley....I'm definitely looking forward to reading this book. :)
@SueRosalie
3 ай бұрын
yes much of it does come from other women. This point is raised many times in the book.
@exiletsj2570
Жыл бұрын
Middle-aged women are one of the most protected and softly treated groups of people. They’re just not going to be treated like they were, when they were young and beautiful, especially if they start adopting male traits.
@lizarnold655
Жыл бұрын
Maybe we don’t want to be treated gently! No we may not be as f***able but we’re not dead
@knaw35
Жыл бұрын
I can not stand it. Read Carl Jung - you will understand life and the importance of common sense. It's better than listening to these rhetorical exercises.
@susanmoses8278
10 ай бұрын
For the past few months, I've been trying to express my frustration at progressive male colleagues, especially when the discussion is about gender and feminism. I happened upon Hadley Freeman and then Victoria Smith, and you both say exactly what I've longed to say but that I could not articulate. I'm listening to Smith's book but I can't wait to get the hard copy. I have a feeling it will be my Bible for the next decade. I am grateful that you've both had the courage to discuss these issues, and I'm sad that even having these opinions requires a person to be courageous. I'm also sad to come to the realization that misogyny is prevalent and condoned by many progressive men and women against middle-aged women. I have my own empirical evidence, unfortunately, that supports this.
@maxdashu
9 ай бұрын
Too many men are thrilled to finally have a "progressive" excuse for their misogyny.
@greatmcluhansghost7134
Жыл бұрын
When you wait for society to define you, you suffer.
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
Nobody did any such thing. This is just how humans are and you find out for yourself as you go along in life.
@greatmcluhansghost7134
Жыл бұрын
@@websurfer5772 people are conditioned differently. if I ask you who you are, how would you respond?
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
@@greatmcluhansghost7134 I'm a person.
@greatmcluhansghost7134
Жыл бұрын
@@websurfer5772 are you a soul too?
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
@@greatmcluhansghost7134 Oh yeah, first and foremost, I'm a soul. That's the never-ending part of me.
@444LoveIt
Жыл бұрын
I agree with much of what is posited in this interview, but i have a different view on what she calls fear or being viewed as not yet achieving, or on the cusp of achieving. You have to take into consideration how uniformly women are held back in society, mainly by men, through abuse, assumption of family responsibility, and economic inequality. A constant drive to achieve and succeed in this economic realm can drive that feeling of 'i'm not there yet'. I have never felt inferior, but i do receive that type of push back from my contemporaries, from the system as a whole. As someone who has been able to view myself and other women outside of the male viewpoint for a handful of years, I have experienced a dramatic difference in self acceptance and acceptance of others. I look forward to reading the book.
@KymHammond
Жыл бұрын
The felt inferiority of women is a haunting spectre.
@cantonold7014
Жыл бұрын
Correct. The oil is running out, which means that all over the world there are millions of unwanted women.
@KymHammond
Жыл бұрын
@@cantonold7014 I was referring to the observation that it was an integral part of female emancipation.
@cantonold7014
Жыл бұрын
@@KymHammond Unwanted women die alone. Get over it.
@KymHammond
Жыл бұрын
@@cantonold7014 “she must feel wanted” … lol
@auturgicflosculator2183
Жыл бұрын
Next time you write a book, try interviewing Erin Pizzey. She might open your eyes a tad.
@cantonold7014
Жыл бұрын
Camille Paglia.
@phcobb2635
Жыл бұрын
@@cantonold7014Camille Paglia? No. She is to female empowerment what Jordan Peterson is to social psychology. Both justify submission to the very forces they claim to oppose; both want to shift your perspective toward the incoherent paradox that internalizing the values of one's oppressor is the true path to personal freedom.
@cantonold7014
Жыл бұрын
@@phcobb2635 You have read nothing. Camille Paglia was literally part of the movement that allowed women to attend universities without having a curfew. You are lying, and you know it.
@brytonbehrend8550
Жыл бұрын
The state of this channel is such a shame. Will there ever be a return to form? How exactly did this even happen?
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
Can you tell me what you mean?
@brytonbehrend8550
Жыл бұрын
@@websurfer5772 Well, they used to host some pretty interesting debates, for one thing.
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
@@brytonbehrend8550 Well, I'm new to this channel, but from what I can see, this particular video seems different from the rest. So is your complaint just about this one video - are you afraid it's the tip of the iceberg, or have you been complaining about this on their other videos lately too?
@brytonbehrend8550
Жыл бұрын
@@websurfer5772 it's been getting worse over the course of a year or two. If you compare their recent uploads with what was being uploaded 2+ years ago, I think you'll see what I mean.
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
@@brytonbehrend8550 I'll check it out more, thanks.
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
"Men are building on the edifice of what came before them and women are kind of crashing on the waves." - Victoria Smith As a woman, that statement is very profound for me. If you're into astrology it's also very Capricornian-Cancerian. When I found out my North Node (North Star that you have to go towards) is in Cancer, and that leaves me with a sinkhole in Capricorn, I was all, 'Nooooooo!' As far as women having to prove ourselves, quite often when we do achieve something, a man steals it from us and we're not even given the credit we're due. The other thing is, women need to be inferior if we're going to find love with a man. Men can't handle it if we outdo them in any kind of way, unless it's directly taking care of them or others. I don't think men are suddenly changing towards women, I think it's always been this way for us. It's just way more obvious now because they're expressing themselves on the internet for all to see and hear. Just look at this comment section. Whoa!
@SueRosalie
3 ай бұрын
please don't weaken our cause by buying into crap like astrology.
@websurfer5772
3 ай бұрын
@@SueRosalie Well, I was shocked when I dove deeply into my natal chart and found out it spells out everything I've been through and I'm 60 so I can really gauge it. What I believe or don't believe shouldn't weaken anybody else unless they're already standing on shaky ground in their own mind to begin with. Both men and women are into astrology, by the way. It's not strictly a female thing.
@SueRosalie
3 ай бұрын
Look at all the men commenting on here, who fail to understand the problems because they haven't bothered to read the book. They're going to find it too intellectually challenging anyway and they won't get it unless someone mansplains everything to them.
@acerrubrum5749
Жыл бұрын
Equal does not mean same as.
@KymHammond
Жыл бұрын
Why is beauty the negating meme when really the struggle is to do with the critique of a particular kind of feminism that seems to compound the global female emancipation project in its own privilege?
@bikinglikebecker
Жыл бұрын
Demonisation? More like stating the obvious!!
@CalinGilea
Жыл бұрын
Yes. And women are, as usual, the victims, taking no responsibility.
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
@@CalinGilea I'm sorry, what is that you want us to be responsible for?
@thedarkenigma3834
8 ай бұрын
I like mature women.
@MsChocolatyChocolate
Жыл бұрын
Brilliant interview thank you!
@ellie698
Жыл бұрын
Yay Glosswitch!
@moussaouiahmed
Жыл бұрын
...................................AM
@tethergobrrr
Жыл бұрын
I’m a middle-aged white woman and a lifelong feminist. Glad I dodged the petty rage and exclusionary impulse demonstrated here. Privilege is a hell of a drug.
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
I fit the same mold - middle-aged, white, feminist. I thought this discussion was like a breath of fresh air. Can you explain what you mean about their insights being exclusionary? And why do you think they're more privileged than us?
@tethergobrrr
Жыл бұрын
@@websurfer5772 They want to shut the door to feminism behind them. It’s hardly a new problem within the movement. Suffragettes excluded black women. Betty Friedan was infamously homophobic. Now certain feminists are excluding trans women. Sometimes vehemently, sometimes using dog whistles like in this interview. On privilege, I wasn’t suggesting they’re privileged and I’m not. As someone who’s always leant towards gender abolitionism, I’ll admit that at some points in time I’ve found it difficult to understand the importance of gender identity to other people. So I listened to them. And I learned that my nonchalance came from a place of comfort within an identity that was only ever questioned by myself, occasionally. Not by others, constantly.
@ktwashere5637
Жыл бұрын
@@websurfer5772 I doubt that post was written by a woman or a feminist. No feminist is going to criticise another woman's rage. Its impossible to be a feminist and not feel rage yourself.
@websurfer5772
Жыл бұрын
@@ktwashere5637 Oh yeah. Sometimes I need stuff spelled out for me. lol thank you.
@zatakification
11 күн бұрын
@@ktwashere5637 I really doubt it's a man pretending to be a feminist. It's possible I guess. But really, who would bother. Honestly these two are perhaps just a little bit obsessed with being women. Freeman at one point said "women reject their mothers, but I don't think boys reject their fathers". So she's a lot more naive about mens lives than many men are about women's, which I found revealing.
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