Initially being one who loves all things French brought to your channel. But speaking from personal experience, I believe that self-care is the ultimate goal of any good therapy (or therapists). Jay, I am a fellow American who shares July 20th with you as my birthday, and I offer congratulations on your being candid and honest as you share yourself online with the world. I too have struggled with self love and forgiveness for far too long. I found that pursuing personal goals and hobbies that make me happy in a flexible daily routine gives me immediate feelings of accomplishment and joy. Also, finding someone and something to love and take care of (and to take care of me) has been invaluable. First, for me, it was my dog of 10 plus years, and now it's relationship with my sweetie that has made all the difference because everyone deserves to be happy. You are definitely moving in a positive direction. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! Thank you for being part of my journey through your channel for several years now.👍Jeff Hoffman
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing all of this Jeff! Means a lot that I have people like you following along, and kudos to YOU as well for doing the work!
@seabrookel5037
8 ай бұрын
I found when I reached my 40s all the process you talk about really clicked into place, as though the graph of how much I care what others think, that had been declining for years, and the rising graph of how much I care for myself finally swapped places so the latter ranks higher for the first time. It’s been liberating, and has done so much for my self-esteem and self love. I hear a lot of folks say their 40s have been like this. Wishing you that joy too!
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Looking forward to my 40s, then!
@Sportkite1111
8 ай бұрын
OH MY GOODNESS! I was just tidying up the kitchen before going to work, telling myself, Future Me will really appreciate this. And as I was rinsing out my Air Fryer, I wondered if Jay has one and he finds it easy to use in his limited space. THEN I come here to watch your latest drop and I just about keeled over. I'm 69 years old and still learning every day how to love myself. Not the same as being IN LOVE with myself but to care about and be empathetic to the one person I have spent the most time with over almost 7 decades. Jay, you are killing it with the self-awareness that some people never get. So proud of you.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Woah, we're so in sync! Thank you for your comment, I love this! It's definitely process I expect to last many years... probably all of my years. And judging by the comment section, many people are on the same journey and it's a wonderful thing to see!
@FuesunHa
8 ай бұрын
These are only small things but these small habit changes can change so much! Thank you for motivation!
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
You're so welcome!
@rc9272
8 ай бұрын
What has helped me: forgiving myself regularly, cutting myself some slack, understanding that I'm human, laughing at myself, not criticizing myself harshly, saying no more often, saying yes more often
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
I'm glad they're helping!
@DavidS5118
8 ай бұрын
Great advice - THX
@crownwizard
8 ай бұрын
Thank you I just made a dentist appointment that I’ve been putting off. The Daily Stoic podcast might be a great weapon for you
@chaneyy2466
8 ай бұрын
Had a trip to Paris in the Summer of 2022 and I came across your channel researching what the city had to offer. Since then I've been a fan, even after my trip. Your videos are so well made and the way you continue to create content that is of that quality is encouraging, truly. Keep providing great videos Jay, everyone who watches thoroughly appreciates it.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this comment, and for following along!
@nyasak721
8 ай бұрын
Stay doing your work, Jay. Stay showing up for yourself in the big and small moments.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
That's the plan!
@amyspeers8012
8 ай бұрын
Positive self talk has been a game changer for me. I’m not always good with it, but I have been know to put up post-its when things are wack.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Good ol post-its
@ericispublius
8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for your vulnerability, my Friend! Art is truly splitting ourselves open and letting the world peak inside. Thank you for a peak inside
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
You're most welcome. Thanks for watching 🙏
@anastasiafua
8 ай бұрын
All the things everyone has said here - is what i do too. just practicing self kindness- the inner talk! And celebrating small wins. I started writing in a very small notebook that i carry with me everywhere i go - my encouraging quotes to myself and manifestations. I pull it out everyday and it makes me smile and remembering to love myself (unconditionally- the little child in me) so good on you for working on your self love journey. 🎉
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Yes! Good on you for doing the work too - it's so uplifting to read this comment section. Love the idea of the notebook!
@agyos
8 ай бұрын
Such brilliant words! I look forward to a long garage monologue on this. If it does anything for your self esteem ( which really, what someone else says, never truly does), the service you provide with your personal reflections, is a wonderful gift…to many, ı suspect. Self-love, self-care, self-forgiveness is a key purpose in life….(finding contentment, is another…which hinges on all that). I’ve always (still do, somewhat), railed against some of the Christian dogma about “we are born sinful”…except then I realized the word “sin”, in this context, might only mean , “we are born human”. The symbol made of Jesus dying for our sins…was to get it into our thick skulls (in a very dramatic way), that if we recognize we are always worthy of forgiveness…we can just do our best to do our best…to be kinder, more caring people to others, and especially to ourselves…and that that is all we need to do to find contentment. I mean, we can, at least, forgive ourselves, in the same way we forgive others, n’est-ce pas? Such a simple thing, and yet, not so easy to do on this earth. Maybe that is the deepest Truth of why we are here, surrounded with those things we term “Good”, and “Bad”, that pull us every which way: until we forgive, and understand it all. Then we can move on to other lessons, LOL!! Ummm, no way to prove any of that…but, the fact that I WANT to be a better person, and am consistently striving in that direction (with ups and downs), must mean I am surely worthy of love, forgiveness, and care! ….and who better than myself to give it?
@interestsme
8 ай бұрын
Once again, thank you for being so open and honest. What resonated with me most was “future self”. A concept that when applied to the mundane activities of daily life has an enormous positive impact on a myriad of issues/actions. It certainly has changed my perspective. Thanks!
@NadineWalks
8 ай бұрын
Coffee is key in loving myself!! (Along with all the rest of your points, of course) In the last few years, I've found that- in my hard or sad moments- I'll talk to myself as if I'm a child. Kind of 'reparenting' stuff... it sounds a little weird but I guess it's all about self-talk and ultimately how we treat ourselves (with kindness, gentleness, care and understanding, etc). Even though I did have a lot of this growing up, my childhood had some tough moments as well and I think we all carry those with us. Being the one to take care of myself when I feel wounded and small has been powerful in terms of my own relationship to myself. Anyway, thank you for such a great, vulnerable video!
@PokhrajRoy.
8 ай бұрын
Self-love is honestly an art form and there is no one way to perfect it. Also, words matter.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Agreed =)
@domesticshorthair
8 ай бұрын
Thanks, Jay, for being so open in this video. I struggle with the same things, and this really encourages me to move from my past and get moving in my daily life.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Excellent. You deserve that evolution 🥂
@gullsrus
8 ай бұрын
I started watching this and thought how good it was. My wife tells me be kind to yourself, have me time. Your blog is helpful too 😊 thank you. take care
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for this :)
@Katiediddance
8 ай бұрын
Love this topic today. Something I have done in recent years is change the lanquage; I have replaced the word "chore(s)" with "community contributions". Whether a community of one or living with others, it's contribution (rather than a chore) to maintain a healthy relaxed environment. The times that doesn't work for me I will rephrase it as "self-care" (rather than a chore). Spa days and shopping are great but the home environmnet is the place of great nurturing for the self. Anyhow, this may not work for others or you but when I am feeling great resistance/procrastination I run these terms inwardly and it works with very few exceptions.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Love that you use nuanced language to make a difference! Starting to rewrite how we speak to ourselves is HARD but huge.
@Katiediddance
8 ай бұрын
Just FYI without getting too personal I hope; I experienced abuse on the daily growing up and one of the many experiences was my mother treating me as an indentured servant starting age 7. I had to clean (by myself) an entire 4 bedroom house, kitchen & floors and both bathrooms everyday after school (my brother was not tasked to do anything and I had to clean his room as well as everyone else's) and everyone's laundry was added when I turned 9, I Ieft home at 17. "Chores" have been a big trigger for me so I can relate to anything a person experiences that may be self care that has been turned into abuse. You appear to be doing very well, kudos to you and thank you for your content/sharing.@@JaySwanson 😄
@elyseb674
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for your strength and vulnerability in showing your root cause. I honestly believe that you loving yourself and nurturing little Jay will lead to healing and ultimately to finding the love you deserve. I'm doing the same. I use a habit tracker to mark the little victories in my life on a daily basis. It makes me happy. Here's to your growth!!! Thanks for sharing. High 5 from Bahrain!
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thank you!! And kudos to you for habit tracking and celebrating the little victories - it's so important!
@DavidS5118
8 ай бұрын
If I were to be fully honest - loving myself is the hardest thing for me.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
You are not alone in this! Just read these comments! It's a hard journey but it's worth it.
@DavidS5118
8 ай бұрын
@@JaySwanson I do admit to knowing my demons but they are currently winning in this area.....I will make a comeback when winter fades.
@crescentworks6855
8 ай бұрын
There are a lot of men your age who need to hear this and I'm one of them. Thanks Jay. I'm enjoying this new format.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Glad to have you along for the ride, and the journey of self-discovery/accountability/love, all of it!
@thistlenstar
8 ай бұрын
I'm probably old enough to be your grandfather. (I wanted to get that fact out of the way.) I just wanted to say that all of your observations make perfect sense. Depression can be difficult to defeat because its essence is the ability to paralyze us. Over the years, I've found that activity is the surest road out, even the quotidian activities we call chores. As a writer, you might have found that sometimes the more "mindless" activities can be the most fruitful. We kept horses and dairy goats for a couple of decades. I used to refer to mucking out the barn as my "meditation," because, in a real way, it was. Sometimes we need to turn off our minds and let whatever comes along choose the path for our thoughts. Some of my most satisfying thoughts, some of my best writing, took place when I was mending broken fences or damage that our livestock had done to the barn. Darn! This wasn't supposed to be about me, it was supposed to be about commonality. Our minds are mostly wired in the same way. The same tricks work most of the time.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Hey thank you for this comment, I really appreciate it, and totally agree.
@carolbrenner3121
8 ай бұрын
Healing takes a lifetime.❤😊
@susangalpin4967
8 ай бұрын
Ultimately, it (whatever "it" is) comes from within. And, also, "'cause I don't wanna" is a sufficient answer.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Agreed =)
@aliwins
8 ай бұрын
Thanks for posting this, Jay. I have been exploring ways to respect myself more, so this post is currently relevant to me. Thanks for sharing. ❤
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
I'm glad it resonated!
@danieli.9252
8 ай бұрын
My wife and I frequently refer to "future us" -- "Future us will be glad we shopped for groceries today," or "Future us is going to be glad we saved this much for retirement." Let's face it, many things are only going to get done by you, so if you have a moment now, just do it and then "future you" can kick back and read a book or something.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Love this!
@Fangsly
8 ай бұрын
It helped me to distance myself from the negative emotions and hurtful words from my childhood by writing and talking to myself in a second language. As you could start over, there are no negative associations with words that carried from your past. It is easier for me to be supportive and have positive self-talk in a second language. There are some studies that suggest you are more logical in decision-making if you think in a second language too.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
This is so interesting, thank you for sharing! I'm so glad you've found a way to heal that works for you.
@ernestfrost7015
8 ай бұрын
I wish I had heard and listened to this when I graduated from high school in 1969... "The future Jay" resonated big time. There still is a future me to take care of now.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Exactly! Start today, and tomorrow you'll literally start thanking, loving and appreciating "past Ernest!" :D
@anastasiafua
8 ай бұрын
You got this Jay! You know what to do 🎉
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@jojo_inthemitten36
8 ай бұрын
Deep thoughts. Great video!
@PokhrajRoy.
8 ай бұрын
Good luck with the piano lessons! In my case, it was learning French and actual French people told me I sounded great.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
That's the highest praise you can get!
@PokhrajRoy.
8 ай бұрын
@@JaySwanson I was so honoured.
@ADAtrips
8 ай бұрын
I’m trying to learn French too. It’s a beautiful language. 🌴🌴Aloha
@RH1812
8 ай бұрын
You should see MY washing up! It takes time to just accept yourself for who you are. Love is a whole other ball game.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thankfully, time is our friend here if we lean into the work =)
@patriciateague8677
8 ай бұрын
So much of our past shapes us that it's easy to focus on that and forget that we can shape today and tomorrow. Good reminders for us all to find ways to love ourselves now and our future selves will benefit.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Couldn't agree more =)
@DavidS5118
8 ай бұрын
All truth
@iniabellepaz445
8 ай бұрын
Great video, we all need to remember to take care of ourselves…thank you for the reminder. Stay well
@michelleinfrance
8 ай бұрын
Thanks :) I needed this today.
@Maria-b2k8y
8 ай бұрын
Wow It actually makes sense….doing the best I can, now, for my future self….I never saw it that way. Thanks!!
@speckledredknits
8 ай бұрын
Off-topic, but you should do a video about Picard and all the fun things you can buy there!
@KibbitUpIt
8 ай бұрын
Great tips!
@DateMenNotBoys
8 ай бұрын
Appreciate you sharing vulnerably and authentically, Jay.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Appreciate you watching!
@katsybo
8 ай бұрын
Thanks for your channel and your forthrightness. I come from the same background. It’s a process s and a journey. In the end ask myself two questions when I’m overwhelmed: Will this kill me? Will it send me to jail? If not, then I can calm down, step back and analyze. I like your cleaning as therapy.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
And I love that you have questions that help you see situations more clearly! It's so important to have those day to day hacks that work for you as an individual.
@ADAtrips
8 ай бұрын
Just be. Don’t try to be … I can understand how your youth self creates problems with your present self. I had many problems in my youth. Today much better. Glad you have a relationship with Dad. I did not. But I have good relationships with my kids. I think of you as a good friend. Glad to know you. (and Cooper). 🌴🌴Aloha
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing this; so glad you're rewriting the narrative with your relationship with your kids, that's not easy to do and I bet your an awesome dad, based on how supportive and thoughtful you are to me!
@mlomarechal6877
8 ай бұрын
"Connais-toi toi-même" (devise que Socrate (le philosophe) a lu à l'entrée du temple de Delphes). Nous l'avons étudié en cours de philosophie en classe terminale au lycée. Très intéressant.
@nancyferrier8609
8 ай бұрын
Making real progress Jay in a process that probably never really ends, probably because our goals change as we age and some of the things we think we wanted for ourselves upon accoplishing may be great or may be a meh moment. Always learning about ourselves. Organizing one thing in my life always gets me out of a slump especially when I'm thinking I'm worthless and lazy or just bored with myself. Cooper's o!nly responsibility is to gaze at you and say, "Seriously?". Congratulations on sharing some valuable self reflecttion.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thanks Nancy, so glad to hear it resonates! And yes, Cooper is a judgey little guy, but he means well ;)
@SnoozeAddict
8 ай бұрын
Your videos are always right on time. Thanks for this reminder. 😊
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Glad I got the timing right :) Hope you have a self-nurturing day!
@betsybrabandt546
2 ай бұрын
I do enjoy listening to you. Thanks.
@andyshacks7812
8 ай бұрын
Yea sometimes the little things you can do for yourself have the biggest impact in the short term. It may be the old adage about keeping busy but it’s very true! Also thanks for reminding me to sort out the laundry upstairs! 🙏
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Gotta keep on top of that laundry! 😂
@marilynleslie472
Ай бұрын
A very helpful video, thanks for sharing your heart.
@jackie8357
8 ай бұрын
I've watched you go through your fitness journey and grow and develop your channel - with Paris in your pocket etc - it's been very inspiring. I'm trying to turn around my own narrative - extremely hard to do.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
I'm honored to inspire you, Jackie! Whatever your narrative is now, I'm sure you'll get to where you want to be - go easy on yourself and nurture yourself. Easier said than done, I know!
@lucasalbuquerque2402
8 ай бұрын
Thanks for posting this video. I needed it.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Hey, Lucas, I posted it at the right time then. Glad I could be there for you today. Hope you recognize your self worth; go easy on yourself.
@PokhrajRoy.
8 ай бұрын
0:12 Me ready with notepad being the Journalist who’s going to break the story and get the scoop
@haart89
8 ай бұрын
Some of the things you've talked about ie tidying up not wanting to as a child but now wanting too keep things tidy i think is a natural part of growing older, you seem a nice guy i know its part of your vlog but dont overthink things too much 😀
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for the concern! I promise I'm not over thinking this - I'm just sharing a small piece of my life with all of you, there's much more going on :D
@AlixKnowsParis
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for your openness and vulnerability. I’m sorry you were feeling sad and hope that today was a better day! As it seems many people do, I often find myself relating to what you are saying. Not just in this video but in many. I look forward to these daily vlogs and always wonder what interesting topic you will cover next! I always find something in them that is relatable, useful, or helpful! So thank you for that! ☺️
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing this with me, Alix!
@MarS-fb8tn
8 ай бұрын
I am consistently happy for you Jay. 🎉
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thank you!!
@Boi1da02
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for always being you, Jay! I needed this! Loving and accepting myself has been a struggle for me and still is! Prayer, talking to the right ppl, and writing my thoughts and feelings down, helps me a lot. Its a learning experience for sure and itll take time but the most important part is trying!
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
And kudos to you for doing the hard work! We're all in this together, even with the work is solo & internal.
@MJN0922
8 ай бұрын
Being intentional (calculated is the closest synonym if doing the C game) is the key to self-care. I pick Fridays for a spa day getting intentional about caring for myself. Try the pomodoro timer in the evening to get the place ready for your morning enjoyment and don’t forget to think about three things you are grateful for each day. Gratitude prevents you from becoming a victim. Enjoying your daily postings!
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Love this!
@PokhrajRoy.
8 ай бұрын
4:01 This has ‘Atomic Habits’ written all over it.
@KarinLynnBates
8 ай бұрын
This is a great list, Jay. Thank you for sharing about yourself and what’s been working! 🙏🏼
@nicktankard1244
8 ай бұрын
I just can't love myself. Quite the opposite since it's me who ruined my life and continuing to do so. So yeah...Sometimes I feel ok but most of the time I just hate myself. Also for that reason I haven't had any relationships in the past decade or so.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Hey, Nick, I get it. Have been there; I think more people have been in that place then we realize. You're totally capable of turning it around, but you've got to tackle that internal monologue saying otherwise. Even if you feel silly and don't believe it - say it anyway. And honestly, as I say in the video, doing these little, simple things is a totally game changer.
@hazelhoyte7668
8 ай бұрын
Remember to forgive yourself and others.
@Paul_C
8 ай бұрын
Something like, 'why doed dad likes me less than a friend of me?'. Yep, that hurts deeply, guess I got 'posthumously' even. He divorced, after 6 years, it took me 23 years to do the same. PS glad you didn't type an E.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Oof, yeah, there are wounds that take time and some that I worry will never heal.
@rhuxley5130
8 ай бұрын
I feel like, all people do, is love themselves. Infact most humans ONLY love THEMSELVES.🧔🏻🤷🏻♂️. I'm glad that this comment section has better folks then I've been exposed to for the past 40 years on the planet.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
I agree this comment section is banging, so grateful for amazing subscribers!
@MrMHughes68
8 ай бұрын
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance: Oscar Wilde.
@MrMHughes68
8 ай бұрын
Ps: I find your positivity and proactivity hugely inspiring, Jay.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Thank you :D
@FirstPersonPouter
8 ай бұрын
Ok, I'm going to be that guy ... Have you read The Body Keeps the Score?
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Yep - and thanks for being that guy. I'll reference it at some point, when I get into the details, but I can't read any farther than I have so far. Literally puts me in a rage-fugue state. Fantastic book, incredibly helpful, just have to take it in small chunks once it got too close to the bone.
@FirstPersonPouter
8 ай бұрын
@@JaySwanson yep had much the same reaction. Lol
@EuropeOnANickel
8 ай бұрын
Hi Jay, is there a way to get in touch with you not publicly? Thank you.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
Hey, you can pop my team a message at swansonteam.paris@gmail.com!
@PokhrajRoy.
8 ай бұрын
4:46 You look fine 😎
@crustykells27
8 ай бұрын
Where is the fun loving humourous jay. Cooper smiles. Do we really know the real you. What happened. What family. Sorry to hear but soo many questions. Paris retreat.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
I'm here! Still fun loving, still humorous! Lots of things co-exist here :) Cooper's still smilin'!
@glennmartin346
8 ай бұрын
:(
@terenzo50
8 ай бұрын
If it's all the same to you, I'd rather love Sofia Vergara.
@JaySwanson
8 ай бұрын
I mean, I can't hold that against you
@terenzo50
8 ай бұрын
Re your comment: I'm sure you remember the old joke --"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"@@JaySwanson
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