First time listening to you and honestly I have learnt alot
@MakhosazanaB9552
7 ай бұрын
Thank you baba, thank you for directing this to especially the African
@spm9130
6 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this information 🙏
@AmandaMange
13 күн бұрын
Hi
@nandieg5
7 ай бұрын
I've always said marriage is for kind people. If you are not kind don't get married.
@petermollo1908
7 ай бұрын
I really like that... I would add that it's also for people who know how to accept and appreciate that kindness.
@rebeccaphakula9840
6 ай бұрын
Well said 👏
@olivialivvy998
6 ай бұрын
True,an ex friend of mine said one day am to kind,just because I had advice her on being a bit kind to her husband, they heading for divorce right now.
@dobe4894
3 ай бұрын
P Pl😊 😊 @@rebeccaphakula9840
@dobe4894
3 ай бұрын
@okondalo26 😊 P P😊p P 😊pp Pp P 😊 Pp😊 P L😊 😊 😊l😊😊😊😊😊p Pp P
@CC-mp7id
8 ай бұрын
I agree with the Pastor. Generally Africans are spiritual and cultural practices served a purpose in giving identity and holding the family unit together from generation to another generation. However missionaries brought religion and their culture and trashed African practices as pagan and that started the disintegration of the African family unit and the erosion of African culture and Ubuntu. The young generation see everything western as superior. People are now self-centered, feminism projected women as oppressed and promotes independence of women in all aspects and some women feel that they don't need men in their lives hence men feel challenged. Communities and families are now divided and single parent families are on the rise. Children are brought up by the media (digital and social) and by helpers who know nothing about their parents family culture and values because their mothers are working. So when these kids grow up they are clueless about their culture and they are not prepared for their adult life and they end up resorting to drugs, porn, alcohol abuse, gender based violence both female and male, debauchery etc and they no longer value their life. Marriages are now financial transactions and divorces are now fashionable and a means of getting rich quickly. The list goes on. The solution is to return to God and follow his commandments, statutes and judgements
@LeratoM98
7 ай бұрын
THANK YOU! Sadly, civilised truly men are uncommon in SA. Our society is still backwards.
@karabommm9187
7 ай бұрын
it just shows that we man need to relearn everything
@edwindakile4784
7 ай бұрын
There is nothing to learn, women don't understand what men want, women knows that marriage benefits them, that's why it's marriage is about them. It's a scam, get married and divorce and take half of his stuff.
@melvisgumbo
7 ай бұрын
Pornography is bad. A man who is addicted to porn cannot be satisfied by his wife.
@getforex72
7 ай бұрын
This podcast should've took 2 hours😭😭
@pleaseleave2live
7 ай бұрын
No why the in-laws part is short bro, he needs to come back for second round and unpack more.
@BrendaKgalapa
6 ай бұрын
I love this this picts I wish it could reach everyone ❤❤🎉
@MphoLucia13
8 ай бұрын
Part of what is also contributing to high divorce rate is woman contributing to the house financially but the man still thinks some duties are for woman only so at the end we realize that we carry a lot by ourselves while married with extra burden of taking care of him too. Homework, kids, house chores, cooking and still go to work and help him take care of his home financially, while he comes home and sits on the couch
@Thulz.
8 ай бұрын
Money doesn't make you a man, that's why majority of women who divorce men regret it later. Money is just a tool, you contributing more shouldn't make you think superior than your husband.
@PS_QOMA__01
8 ай бұрын
Women and money 😂
@Mbalings
8 ай бұрын
@@Thulz. She didn't say anything about superiority. She spoke about fatigue from working a formal job and also making the home.
@Mbalings
8 ай бұрын
@philanisukazi8624 what else are men contributing
@PS_QOMA__01
8 ай бұрын
@@Mbalings money is a tool to keep the family alive and it should never make you feel more better than the other person simple because you are contributing more to the family. And this goes both ways husband / wife.
@maboj384
7 ай бұрын
Personally I think lack of empathy and consideration is the main reason for divorce. If you are able to put yourself in your partner's shoes you won't cheat or expect your partner to cook,do laundry , iron and take care of kids alone, and top of that have energy for sex.
@katmatlou
7 ай бұрын
I agree, however in our society when a man supports his wife like that, he is called a simp. Some will even go as far as to say udlisiwe. If men were to stop caring about other people's opinions and focus on their families things would get better. Support your wife in raising the kids and chores in the household especially if she's also working a full time job.
@maboj384
7 ай бұрын
It's sad that men tend to care more about outsiders instead of their own family.
@deltaradiance9034
7 ай бұрын
South African men suffer from peer pressure
@MakhosazanaB9552
6 ай бұрын
I love you, i love your thinking. Considering the next person
@angelsean3426
8 ай бұрын
Word: Many people are educated, but few are civilized.
@spm9130
7 ай бұрын
No! People are highly certificated but not educated and civilised!
@arthurporfirio722
7 ай бұрын
True
@MakhosazanaB9552
6 ай бұрын
100%
@njabulomasina4180
7 ай бұрын
This is not only a black issue, it's a heart issue. The reason for the destruction of the institution of marriage is because of selfishness (which is the opposite of love) and ego. There's been a growing trend of narcissism, especially in this social media generation.
@Inprogress_of_newbeginings
4 ай бұрын
Definitely a heart issue. I wonder why adults are struggling with selfishness it's a stage of growing up. Generally when one skips a growing stage, they experience it later in life.
@anniesok868
28 күн бұрын
that stats show its a black issue
@edwardsibanyoni4947
8 ай бұрын
Iam a man who is turning 42 tomorrow but i now understand why they say "you never too old to learn" these are eye opening conversations
@pheellonhlapo823
8 ай бұрын
Happy Birthday
@edwardsibanyoni4947
8 ай бұрын
@@pheellonhlapo823 ❤🙏
@reitumetsemaraba2401
8 ай бұрын
Happy birthday🎉
@edwardsibanyoni4947
7 ай бұрын
@@reitumetsemaraba2401 thank you🙏
@bonmiya5448
7 ай бұрын
Happy Birthday Edward🎉
@levymalikebu1813
7 ай бұрын
Many men don't cheat because there are beautiful women, they cheat because they lack self control. If I have a strong desire for a woman, the first thing to do is to suppress the feeling or go along with it. Which means that you are in control of your feelings. A real man is one who is disciplined and in self control of his behavior. Be the controller of your feelings than a slave to your feelings and don't blame women because you can't control yourself.
@edwindakile4784
7 ай бұрын
If there were no available woman to cheat with, will men cheat?
@kwetsephetla3597
5 ай бұрын
@@edwindakile4784they would cheat with each other cause they lack sexual discipline. Look what happens in prison
@edwindakile4784
5 ай бұрын
@@kwetsephetla3597 craziest thing I've ever heard, there is no girlfriend or boyfriend in prison there's rape, sorry you have no point here. Try again.
@Lelough_
4 ай бұрын
@@edwindakile4784So you'll rather blame the women and not the married men who uttered the vows?
@edwindakile4784
4 ай бұрын
@@Lelough_ where is marriage on the statement above, please show me, you talking vows and I don't understand where that came from, unless you misunderstood the statement I replied to, like most women do "deviation from what is being talked about to suit the narrative of their interest".
@DzunyB
8 ай бұрын
I'm divorced and a lot of things he said hit home. Very informative interview
@SesadiMashapu
7 ай бұрын
I was about to say the same thing 😢
@mazwamahledlamini7607
7 ай бұрын
Amazing interviewing skills no interruptions allows the guest to flow. Does not compete with the subject for the platform.
@elethumatu
8 ай бұрын
finally a south african man with a soul and consciousness is talking lol ......
@201010701
8 ай бұрын
He is a Swazi national we love him so much in ESwatini
@LeratoM98
7 ай бұрын
Right. They are so rare almost non-existent
@sundaymbatha8387
4 ай бұрын
He is from Swaziland. Very informative session
@murielmoyahabo6078
2 ай бұрын
Now i see. I always thought he is a Swati from SA.@sundaymbatha8387
@EmpowerED1990
7 ай бұрын
Great talk. We need Godly marriages with Godly principles.He is the one that has designed it . There is no community without mariage.
@phillymosomane2870
7 ай бұрын
🙏
@888KingsDaughter
7 ай бұрын
Correct. Godly marriage. No marriage without God is a foundation
@khensk
7 ай бұрын
I wholeheartedly agree
@jilokizito1705
7 ай бұрын
You people have legalized a lot of stuff that will only push you away from God. You allow weed smoking and same-sex relationships, I hear parents can't discipline their own kids, and I was surprised actually while I stayed in S.A. You went too fast for a country that hasn't attained independence (forget what happened in 94).
@chadbenjamin8118
7 ай бұрын
Spot on!!
@estherphiri764
8 ай бұрын
I must say this was worthy my time, every issues was addressed without sugar coating.
@Thesaints753
8 ай бұрын
He should come back to unpack more please❤
@anniesok868
28 күн бұрын
Basically Black women don't accept disrespect anymore
@RufinOuamba
7 ай бұрын
One thing I will add here for young people is that, you must know first your partners before marring them. Don't rush to marry the person because of beauty or any other reason. Don't discover the person while you are already married and have kids together, that can make you to stay in unhappy, toxic marriage. Date and know each other first.
@kagisholeshilo2686
8 ай бұрын
Marriage doesn't require qualifications and accomplishments; it requires openness and honesty within all communications between both people. Know what your partner desires and respect them for being unique.
@corretta522
4 ай бұрын
What is communication without comprehension?
@spm9130
7 ай бұрын
Most marriage counsellors don’t even want to talk about witchcraft in marriage…the reasons have advanced 🤦🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️
@kukundamartha1896
Ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂the devil is also not sleeping, so awake to fail most marriages. Unfortunately most christians don't understand how spiritual marriage is while the non christians understand the power of spirituality in marriage.
@sibusisondlovu7706
8 ай бұрын
During Apartheid Marraige had state benefits. 1. Married people qualified for a Township 4 Room house. 2. Factories and Mines and Industries favoured Married people for Employment. 3. Leadership positions and promotions like a HEADMASTER of a school were given to married people. 4. Credit in financial institutions was given to Married people. 5. Married people could open accounts in clothing shops. 6. Social standings or status of married poeple was better. 7. Married people were allowed to run churches as Priests. So in general it was advantageous to Married.
@VusiIrvinMthimunye
8 ай бұрын
Beautiful Man. Just shows how the current black government undervalues marriage.
@lekis5975
8 ай бұрын
@sibusisondlovu Seriously? During Apartheid, Black men and women were expected to carry PASSES, which dictated where they should live. Black men were given permission to work in the mines, however they could not travel with their wives, subsequently, many women were left behind in the rural area, the man could only visit once a year, as a result, many marriages faltered and died. The Boers introduced Bantu education which limited opportunities for Black people. Further to this, they limited the kind of jobs Black people could do. Black people could not study things like aviation, engineering, accounting, architecture. They imposed limit on the lives of Black people, which led to frustrations, which were then played out at home- domestic violence and marriage breakdown. If you are going to talk about the era of strong African marriages, I suggest you go back to Pre-colonial times, when men were men and women were women. Men paid dowry because they realised that child birth brought many challenges, women died, or if they survived they would be left dealing with fistula issues or stitches, having a baby meant sleepless nights and saggy breasts from breast feeding. Dowry in the form of land and cattle, was a way to empower women, give them wealth for putting their lives on the line to extend the man's lineage. Men herded the cattle, hunted and protected the borders; women farmed. Men brought meat to the table, women brought vegetables, fruit, grain, seeds and nuts. Women readily bowed down to their husbands because marriage gave them wealth (land and cattle); Quiet as it's kept Qunu belonged to uMam Winnie. In submission, African people did not need Apartheid in order to value marriage. If anything, Apartheid devalued Black life, and led to the destruction of Black love and Black families.
@boitumelodilapiso2294
8 ай бұрын
It was aa bad system for BlackChild
@LM-he7eb
6 ай бұрын
Apartheid built male & female hostels apart deliberately to break the black family. The hostels were structured in a way that was not conducive to building a family. Men were stuck in mines, not seeing their families for months/years. Women were stuck kwa-mlungu, not seeing their families for months/years. Kids were stuck emakhaya not seeing their parents for months/years. Men, women & society at large acclimatized to living apart, and away from their kids.
@lekis5975
6 ай бұрын
@@LM-he7eb Thank you. It's horrific how many people upvoted that vile post upholding Apartheid. Goes to show you Black people are lost.
@3DSuccess
8 ай бұрын
Cheating is about heart posture, self discipline and self control
@lekis5975
8 ай бұрын
@3DSussess Most people who cheat are depressed. Anyone in the right frame of mind, would choose well, or leave if the relationship is not working. Cheaters are struggling with something defective inside them.
@thenomfundo1504
7 ай бұрын
completely agree - there may be more women, but there are more male suitors, I think. As women we are propositioned way more than men and contrary to popular belief women really enjoy sex and that enjoyment does not mean we are promiscuous or "not wife material".
@toppykgothatso3306
7 ай бұрын
are you a man?
@GlenroseMakgorogo
7 ай бұрын
@@thenomfundo1504 nowadays we don't have wife materials. All I see are slay queens
@PalesaMofokeng-eu6tq
7 ай бұрын
@@lekis5975😅
@Gloryfied
7 ай бұрын
I'm 💯 agreeing with you. Some women are disrespectful when they hubby no longer provide.
@ritakruger2304
6 ай бұрын
Disagree...most hubby don't share everything with you...I never did know what his income...his increase...he bought everything I must beg ....then expect I must be happy...lovable ...no thanks such marriage for the birds
@bennetndlovu1042
8 ай бұрын
Asbonge Justice for bringing one of the best in the game. Truly appreciated 🙏🏾
@sekgabimasobe9690
7 ай бұрын
17:09 Wow as a women who just celebrated 20 years Anniversary on Valentine's Day. All I can say staying with Ngwana Mme o mong is not a child's play ❤❤❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂
@mamasmosoathu1364
3 ай бұрын
Very true. DNA and Family Values...
@CAROS_FITNESS
8 ай бұрын
This is so important especially for young African marriages.
@leratokgosiemang5525
7 ай бұрын
And also the older ones... I've seen "couple" of old Couples getting divorced 😮... Teachings are very important
@nombulelombhele621
8 ай бұрын
I have never heard such comments especially 4rm an African man . Ur love relationship is zero where have u been my gudness. I am a mom of two young men whom i have tried teach them abt how to understand the psychology of love by reading books coz in ur culture it's men who r important only. I love u to bits 4 shining the light
@millicentmotheogane7842
8 ай бұрын
Very powerful, we need to take time to prepare for marriages, not 1 or 2 meetings. It's a course in itself
@shanicerallele2602
8 ай бұрын
He didn't speak about why woman cheat. He said he would get to that part but didn't. Was looking forward to hearing that part.
@nzuzosithole4014
7 ай бұрын
you are a woman you know "WHY Y.O.U. CHEATED..." or "WHY Y.O.U. ARE CHEATING..." or "WHY Y.O.U. WILL CHEAT" you don't need a MAN to explain into DETAIL..."WHY WOMEN"
@nomamoshani3395
7 ай бұрын
He mentioned being deprived of affection, where a woman then go and accept it elsewhere where it is given after begging for love and recognition from the husband.
@theanonymoustrader6852
7 ай бұрын
@nomamoshani3395 why is it that everytime there are issues in marriages,there's always an inherent belief that the problem might be the man. A cheater is a person with a habit of cheating. Why glorify it? If you think women cheat because of lack of affection, Ask me I will give you links of videos of women who cheat because of too much affection that leads to boredom and a longing for something new.
@nomamoshani3395
7 ай бұрын
That is very profound, especially coming from a woman. Indeed, there are many different reasons for cheating and anyone in the relationship can instigate it@@theanonymoustrader6852
@solomonoupamakola
4 ай бұрын
@theanonymoustrader6852, you spoke the truth. It's a choice. Nothing can force you into something you're not.
@elmultimediaschoolofartscu3924
7 ай бұрын
Please do an episode exactly like this on relationships, not marriage this tym
@kaygee1623
7 ай бұрын
Marriage should be the main goal, not relationships. This is one of the main problems we face.
@slieafrica
7 ай бұрын
💯 @@kaygee1623
@MarthaTladi-yl9fq
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for the therapy Sir. May we add the Holy Spirit coz the Narcissism Spirit is emerging in this world. Amen
@lindiwekubu8846
8 ай бұрын
Can EVERYONE listen to him🙌🏽🙌🏽. Thank you Team for putting this together for Us.
@reflectglobe
8 ай бұрын
South Africans value material things above most other things, even God's taken a back seat and they wonder why everything is falling to pieces.
@tonynze
8 ай бұрын
Surprisingly you're first to mention God in this comment section. God bless
@LuckyJudaz
26 күн бұрын
You are 100% right there
@mskhumalo5118
8 ай бұрын
This interview is excellent 👌🏾, very relevant and informative in this era we in
@aronzion
7 ай бұрын
love how he uses fokol engathi akathukani...#fokol #fuckall lol...
@mahlohonololebuso741
7 ай бұрын
I want to attend his church mainly because how he leads. I can tell that he is a leader. He understands leadership this man. I'm going to that church.
@GlenroseMakgorogo
7 ай бұрын
He's leading men astray
@mahlohonololebuso741
7 ай бұрын
@@GlenroseMakgorogo he's teaching men how to lead. And I can tell you're not a leader
@ndagebs6092
7 ай бұрын
@@GlenroseMakgorogoAstray to where?
@nhlanhlathwala3282
8 ай бұрын
LOL😆Marriage is indeed not a feeding scheme yaz
@eyethumfazwe
3 ай бұрын
Hahake feeding scheme 🤣
@nelsondengeli4357
7 ай бұрын
This is heart healing hard truths... Here in Kenya 'marriage is still a feeding programe.' wroñg mentality to both gender.
@jaymhlurbaloyi7813
7 ай бұрын
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
@888KingsDaughter
7 ай бұрын
Amen
@amandajunior1604
7 ай бұрын
Stay away from social media if u want to have a good relationship or marriage
@LivingWord_with_Kazi
8 ай бұрын
The problem is that people do not understand marriage and the purpose of marriage by God’s design. They think umjolo that has been made official, it’s beyond that! That is why people can make a decision not to marry because it doesn’t benefit them🥲 the institution in itself requires one to be selfless!
@LM-he7eb
6 ай бұрын
So it is okay to make the decision not to marry, because it doesn't benefit you. Because you already know you're not selfless
@LivingWord_with_Kazi
6 ай бұрын
@@LM-he7eb the point is, if you know you are selfish… don’t marry.
@Lelough_
4 ай бұрын
What about people who don't believe in God? People who believe in Allah, their ancestors, their idols. Or only your religion is the truth?
@LivingWord_with_Kazi
4 ай бұрын
@@Lelough_ my point was marriage is instituted by God, so the blueprint is found in Him and not what culture or society says. So to answer you, people who don’t believe in God or worship idols, cannot seek counsel from the one who instituted marriage in the first place. And yes, there is one truth, not many truths. And one day we will all find out who held on to the absolute truth. So yes, I believe Jesus Christ is the way, truth and life.
@Maxwell-m9e
7 ай бұрын
At the end of the day, if you dont apply law and order in your home, you are doomed.
@Rhapsody_
7 ай бұрын
One of the issues is that as abantu in RSA, apart from the lack of uBuntu, it that there is a tendency to incorporate Western tendencies into African culture. The two are like water and oil. They do not mix. Where one encourages cooperation and understanding of the roles of a man and wife, the other encourages independence and selfishness, and the narrative that men and women are equal to the point that the roles of man and wife are interchangeable when they are not. The lines have been blurred so much that SAn marriages are following the trend of Western marriages. Look at the USA for example where the 2 out of every 3 marriages end in divorce.
@estherphiri764
8 ай бұрын
In Zambia 36,000 divorce cases filed, it is scary.
@adriannortje439
7 ай бұрын
My divorce was fuelled by greed. It was all about her maximising her financial enrichment, whilst simultaneously refusing to contribute anything to the marriage. We went for Church pre-marital counselling. We attended eight months of Church marriage counselling. It did not help one tiny bit. The Church specialises in victim blaming. They refuse to accept any form of accountability for their conduct no matter how much damage it causes to other people's lives. The Church financed my ex-wife's law suits against me even though Jesus Christ gave clear instructions to Christians not to break up any marriage. Divorce rates are on the increase in South Africa and world wide. There are social changes which are occurring in the world and none of these changes benefit the family or marriage.
@sibongilenkosi6577
16 күн бұрын
"Do not conform to the ways of this world" We will continue being doomed as we continue to please the world and the flesh. We need to truly seek Jesus. I'm not speaking of church and pastors but Jesus himself.
@brendajackson13
7 ай бұрын
The divorce rate is high because ALL relationships between men and women are now transactional...from dating to marriage, and everything in between.
@budgetbossrsa
7 ай бұрын
Not sure how this was recommended to me but I needed to hear this.
@liotlonoblephakisi4682
8 ай бұрын
Wow wow wow... molaetsa o monate haholo... big up brothers for the informative show... can we get part 2, 3 and 4....
@maudysamutamvu
7 ай бұрын
This is worthy my time , wooooooow wooooooow wooooooow this is so profound 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥👏👏
@CathrinemamaLekhuleni-up6bo
8 ай бұрын
Premarital counselling is very impotant.Thank you.
@israelldlamini8948
7 ай бұрын
Very correct, premarital counselling is very important even though that part is secondary... What is prmary is to deliberately raise our children at both the home and church front from their early stages to be future good husbands and wives when they are married.. That's what we must teach emphatically as pastors.
@zanelendumo7523
2 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for these kind of teachings. I’m not married but I see a lot of mistakes I do also as a woman in a relationship ❤
@kukilicious200
8 ай бұрын
Thank you Mr. Dlamini. I hope to do pre-marital counseling with you when I'm about to marry.
@spm9130
7 ай бұрын
“Boys and girls should stay at home, men and women should get married”
@isaacmmutlane7461
8 ай бұрын
On the issue of communication. I personally believe communication breaks down only when one of the couple is withdrawing emotionally/physically from the marriage and they don't pay attention anymore
@lekis5975
8 ай бұрын
@isaacmmutlane In the traditional African society, education began at home. Sadly nowadays, few parents bother to educate their children, subsequently people are entering relationships without having learnt how to communicate, because they never saw it at home, neither were they taught about the importance of communicating in relationships. In submission, people come into relationships have never mastered the art of communication, so when things begin to go awry, they go into default mode ZERO COMMUNICATION.
@Lelough_
4 ай бұрын
@@lekis5975our mothers were in abusive marriages, what can they teach anyone about marriage except being a doormat?
@YolanderNokuthula
7 ай бұрын
The questions were just so perfect and timely! We need this truth in these times we're in..marriage is not easy
@thembadlangamandla4409
8 ай бұрын
Ohhhhh.what a show my brother.keep up the good work
@Vee_Jay474
7 ай бұрын
Well DAM… Sounds like SA has adopted the Western culture… It’s DOOMED…
@KMazibuko
7 ай бұрын
This was such a great interview. So many great insights shared. I really felt the comment of "As people who want to be in relationships but we are too focused on self". We need to learn how to love one another better.
@lulu2L
7 ай бұрын
❤ he knows what he is talking about and the people under him are fortunate…great conversation
@HlengiweMathe-p2d
Ай бұрын
Another thing is Narcissism and these days no one wants to suffer until they die... Narcissism makes people to be jealous.. envious and even hating each other... Yho syasha!!!
@thembisilenkosi562
8 ай бұрын
It was too short I enjoyed the conversation
@mahlohonololebuso741
7 ай бұрын
I think another reason is people who marry to have an identity. Some people aspire to get married because it gives them identity and a sense of purpose. People who are also still hurting from childhood traumas. Things kind of issues surface in the marriage and now the whole marriage is compromised.
@nonsikelelokambule1680
7 ай бұрын
In ma marriage ma partner behave like he is stil stay’a alone he does the groceries alone he doesn’t give me Money and he works a good job and stuff he if I tel him about renovations or let’s buy something he refuses and just shit me down we dnt have even a emergency fund, policies ect for him to buy something I have to be angry with him, it’s a lot and am thinking of ending the marriage coz it’s not working at all the is no growth
@thepebblescorner9507
4 ай бұрын
And just know that it will never work out until he decides to change which is unlikely to happen. If you do not have kids, leave as soon as possible. If you have kids, start your action plan to exit in ways that minimize damage to kids. Act like a single parent and create an emergency fund for you and them. When you finally end things, work out a co-parenting plan so that your kids still have a father at the very least unless he refuses or there are bigger issues. What I am saying is try talking to your husband one more time, and depending on his actions and answer, plan to exit my sister and don't fight him or scream. You can do this and it will get better
@ndinelaojameson4947
2 ай бұрын
Pray for Him.. God instituted marriage, divorce is not always the only solution. Again this is what he Mr Dlamini just mentioned about not being patient enough with one another.. Start praying, become how you expect him to treat you 1 Peter 3
@renkai_blaze12
7 ай бұрын
Let us learn to appreciate great teaching & refrain from criticizing valuable points that were unpacked. The conversation is meant to assist in discovering facts generally, so healing can take place. Experiences are not the same. To you it may mean nothing but to someone else it goes a long way.....
@tinambongo8993
8 ай бұрын
Please give us part 2 of this very educative we really need it more
@ayandal4744
7 ай бұрын
What a man! Wise indeed. He dropped gems.
@theanonymoustrader6852
7 ай бұрын
Because He says things that impress women. If he had said women should exercise, cook for their men and everything I bet you were not gonna say this.
@queenv.713
8 ай бұрын
👏👏👏 Talking sense all the way... keep up the good work sir.
@liveyalife08
7 ай бұрын
In my humble opinion it will take more than premarital counseling; You need a community of women setting a standard of how to be a wife. You need a manuscript. Teaching what it means to prepare child for being a wife or husband is done while the child is still becoming an adult. The knowledge of what it means. How to protect a marriage and support it. Unfortunately, these things would require the time spent on a 2 yr degree if they are not visible in the community.
@mandisanene5054
7 ай бұрын
What an insightful , thought provoking interview. I had to share it with someone and we will be discussing soon😊
@carolsmind
7 ай бұрын
I disagree on the culture part, a lot of what we regard as our culture is a diluted and distorted version of what used to be and thus the chaos created out of it. Also, I believe we cannot talk about what goes wrong with marriage without talking about the state of the world that we live in and how community has changed drastically demanding both men and women to exist outside of their nature. There are many good initaitives that came with unforeseen consequences, for example, the world rallied behind the empowerment of the girl child and as a result the woman but did little to include the boy child subsequently the man in the process. This somehow bred an unhealthy demand to be seen and remembered in our men. To heal the marriage we need to heal the man, the woman, the family and the community.
@JayMatlou
7 ай бұрын
Attended a session with this chap and he then told my lady to leave me on their private results session then told me I need to listen to her more. Anyway we are blessed with a baby boy since our session.
@n.m6249
7 ай бұрын
Excellent talk, I just recently got married and this is exactly what I needed. I understand a man better now, just because as a woman I don't need sex but I need to understand that he does. Respect is a word I have tattooed in my mind. This should go viral definitely. I never understood that sex alone is a duty like serving food or looking after kids.
@tebohorakotsoane9397
7 ай бұрын
Yah it is , its naturally designed for us men to reproduce or have sex its like ovulation for us but daily so if you don't want with sex you setting us for failure because we have to fight with nature which is our body
@nthabisengbapela7746
Ай бұрын
This will make ignorant men angry. They don't understand what leadership means but are so hungry to be followed
@bradleykakuyu4023
8 ай бұрын
Exactly what I needed to hear as a man, lead not by shouting, but by pure leadership.
@patienceikombele9161
8 ай бұрын
Great interview, I like it. Made sense. Wish we could have episodes 2.
@lilgreenlantern2544
7 ай бұрын
You mentioned woman looking for or seeking affection. Wish you could explain a bit more difference between affection and sex. Where man will just neglect you and expect good sex from you.
@no.commonsense
7 ай бұрын
❤❤this man is powerful u are amazing 😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤ my first time coming acrosss this blesssed man
@promisemaphumulo4087
7 ай бұрын
It becomes avoidable when you're filled with the Holy Spirit
@888KingsDaughter
7 ай бұрын
Many married to counterfeits Do Not Marry a Counterfeit Pray and make sure that you marry God's will for your life God is the foundation It's a life long journey People do not prepare for Marriage but they prepare for career. Exams. Prepare for a Godly marriage Marriage is for PURPOSE. Marriage is not for sex or having children. We get married to accomplish purpose. Know who yuu are.What is your purpose.
@mawini
7 ай бұрын
Then it meant that the rural people were well advanced as they have traditional structures in all age groups and genders, e.g. manhood coaching starting at ekwaluseni. Girl children had amaqhikiza to guide, coach and protect. Till to the grave the African system had structures to coach, guide, advocate and support a person in all aspects of life.
@corretta522
4 ай бұрын
The Quality of humanity is poor. People are aliens nowadays.
@Lums-Baloyi
8 ай бұрын
I couldn't wait for this.
@bulelanibaqwa
8 ай бұрын
12:45 I think it's all about the person you choose. Selection and vetting process for monogamy.
@lindiwematsie9705
8 ай бұрын
Very informative 🙏🏾
@justifyworldwide
8 ай бұрын
Glad you think so!
@solomonoupamakola
4 ай бұрын
My own father taught me that love brings couples together, and support keeps them together because each person brings baggage into the relationship. With proper support, we manage to shoulder each other's weaknesses better.
@Mbalings
8 ай бұрын
I appreciate this conversation
@thandekamsane9936
6 ай бұрын
Divorces are happening because marriage is a patriarchal institution and the men no longer have control over women like before to do as patriarchy allows them and still keep their wife. Women have evolved with the economic times but men still want to maintain traditional gender roles while having none of the economic power and it’s just not worth it for a lot of women. Women are literally raised to want marriage and when they get it it’s just lots of labour that they don’t want to do anymore.
@theanonymoustrader6852
2 ай бұрын
😂😂 you think you ate neh?
@JasperMboniswa
7 ай бұрын
Very informative , thank you to the host for pin pointing the burning issues and Mr Dlamini for comprehensive answers and views to the questions posed.
@dumisanimaseko1417
8 ай бұрын
So this guy is blaming the market instead of the product..
@djstatz_worldwide
8 ай бұрын
Tudo bem meu irmao Justice ? My name is ibrahim Delivane love your work, I would like to have a tiny interview for radio Mozambique, there's a lot to chat about.
@justifyworldwide
8 ай бұрын
Hola Estou bem, obrigado. I was in Mozambique in November, drop us an email info@tinomedia.co.za
@djstatz_worldwide
8 ай бұрын
@@justifyworldwidedam I missed you in novembro, that's what's up I'll do that my G. Keep your thing .
@gugulethumpanza7679
8 ай бұрын
This man u Bakhe is going the Steve Harvey way... He is "Man Bashing"... Goodluck with that...
@ScissorN
8 ай бұрын
Telling man the truth is not man bashing , we need more man in society that will speak sense into man haibo
@edwindakile4784
7 ай бұрын
It's all about content, making yourself as a content creator and target a specific audience, and it's woman consuming a lot of Steve's crap, and he makes money and our black women looses men. I second your point, good luck listening to someone who think men are a problem.
@syabongsmfeka6720
8 ай бұрын
this seems to be one sided is it about men or both partners, sometimes these marriage counselors is not make sure
@ThobileMacaws
8 ай бұрын
Wow this is the first I meet his kind 👏🏾👏🏾! At only 9mins into the interview and he’s told me more about my problematic marriage 😢!! I was shocked when he started describing my dynamics and the kinda man I’m married to😢.
@edwindakile4784
7 ай бұрын
And if you regard him (husband) bad or not good for you, don't forget to be accountable and remember that you selected him.
@ThobileMacaws
7 ай бұрын
@@edwindakile4784 not quite. Mine was an arranged marriage and both families come from a heritage of arranged marriages … so I had very little choice. But now I know better .
@stevenswiel8015
7 ай бұрын
You are totally correct. Marriage is along life commitment so always be open minded to a persons partner
@khanyisiledlamini8749
7 ай бұрын
You are called for this, thank you Mr Dlamini
@ayandamthimkhulu851
3 ай бұрын
It's great to have African intellectuals as they bring an Afrocentric contextualization of matters.
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