45:45 addresses the issue of when to end the relationship
@rebeccajones8628
8 ай бұрын
Thank you.
@helenaquin1797
8 ай бұрын
I didn't really hear the answer except for her to say her answers are dependent on the context of the person or people.
@kapler79
8 ай бұрын
Neither of them actually address this.
@jamilahtigner9009
6 ай бұрын
@@helenaquin1797 From what I recall, the only concrete example she provided was a couple in which one person puts forth effort to improve the relationship while the other person does not. She suggests that that kind of relationship is certainly doomed, and that she has seen some of those in her office when it becomes clear that one partner is only participating in therapy in hopes of "fixing" the other person yet isn't willing to also look at themselves and take steps to repair the relationship.
@happiness4541
4 ай бұрын
Thank you
@carriepriegel6477
9 ай бұрын
Bored silly with 99% of the self help gurus/their repetitive pablum, Ms. Perel is so refreshing and wise; her guidance is practical and inspiring, her depth of knowledge is platinum & highest grade diamonds, in its rarity & priceless value.💖
@ThuyHuynh-ue3yc
9 ай бұрын
Thank you Esther, in one podcast, you’ve pinpointed and helped me see the reasons behind my marital fights. Esther = all fights are for power & control, respect & validation, and care & kindness.
@shellshelly5552
9 ай бұрын
I believe that this wonderful, beautiful, intelligent lady, is one of the most interesting people I’ve ever listened to.
@CrystalDatingCoach
9 ай бұрын
Yes I agree!! 😊
@gigicochiante1305
9 ай бұрын
Me too omg I love the way she explains things and uses her hands when talking
@antonroux6737
8 ай бұрын
you need to get out more
@single_daddin_it
8 ай бұрын
@@antonroux6737no need to rain on someone else’s parade, friend. I try and just move along if I don’t agree. However, I fully agree that this woman’s insight is very valuable. A lot of people don’t have the knowledge and experience to navigate toxic relationship dynamics.
@Becoming_undone
8 ай бұрын
Same!!! she is the full embodiment of what a hero looks like to me. I’m consistently astounded by the brilliance that just naturally flows from her and the ease in which she translates human behaviors to root issues.
@Emy53
6 ай бұрын
I love her advice. We do tend to not notice our own changes and then expect our significant other to remain the same.
@sussannekeith5676
Ай бұрын
Yes, absolutely right.
@Joy-mm3cz
8 ай бұрын
I love Ester P. I have followed her and her work for 4 yrs now. I have her books, podcasts and game. She has transformed my relationships, both professionally and social.
@Nature-w4k
9 ай бұрын
I love this lady!!! She is the most intelligent, insightful, “GET IT” woman. Thank you Esther!!
@CatCassandra
8 ай бұрын
Esther is the Contessa of compassion and kindness. I would give anything to have her giving advice to senior couples. Specially when they start at 62-65
@galynwebb7587
9 ай бұрын
Esther Perel is the intelligent, knowledgeable, and interesting person to hear about personal reflection on relationships and how to look forward to better future relationships, within the current marriage.
@robynalvin2849
8 ай бұрын
Agree!
@heathersohappy2833
8 ай бұрын
Esther's closing comment is the introduction of a whole new conversation that I would love to listen to and engage in! "We talk about loneliness. We talk about suicide. We talk about breakdowns of institutions. We talk about how the burden of self has never been heavier. But when we talk about it like that it feels very abstract. When you look at the life of actual people, (especially younger people, as I do), it warrants attention."
@jenreis3887
9 ай бұрын
‘The old ball and chain’ always was pure projection…. Historically it has been and oftentimes still is women who are completely tied down and expected to live a very different standard of life than men. I grew up Roman Catholic and lived it!!
@williamweb9782
9 ай бұрын
Are religion and monogamy automatically entwined?
@Peem_pom
8 ай бұрын
@@williamweb9782quite
@Puuws
8 ай бұрын
yep men just have a way harder time giving up sleeping around and taking responsibility that comes with a family. They trow a fit if there is too much asked of them and accuse the other off wining when they are just asking for a fair devide. Church and other religions somehow reinforced that by almost suggesting women should serve their man, while that should be God
@jenreis3887
8 ай бұрын
Religion and monogamy are absolutely entwined…except that monogamy applied ONLY to the female….Catholicism is rife with hypocrisy and double standard. Women are taught to ‘serve her man’ and expect nothing in return….she’s lucky if he’s a good provider. If he’s an alcoholic who doesn’t work too bad…divorce is NOT permitted. If he beats her, that’s his choice she can not leave. She can not take birth control, she can not have abortions and she can NOT say no to sex. She can not get an education or a job, have a bank account, etc….that was the life of my grandmothers!!! I’m born in 1975….so this is not very long ago. Men set the tone for relationships even still…due to the past legacy of heterosexual unions. If a woman was ‘lucky’ she got a decent husband…otherwise too bad. Patriarchy needs to be dismantled completely as it does not serve either gender. Blessings to all the men brave enough to tear down these walls…us women have been working at it for a long time and we need you to do your part. These red pill dudes are just trying to grasp onto threads of male toxicity and patriarchy….the brave ones take a stand against that mindset!
@freeman8759
7 ай бұрын
So what it to be said of the marriage/monogamy/exclusivity ultimatum, that is usually imposed by women? Its odd to hear these takes, but never see it. It would seem the remedy is simply a "No" to a proposal and guts to stand on the decision, in the Western world.
@dachater1
6 ай бұрын
I love what she says about lying horizontal during an argument and humour! Humour is such an important salve in a relationship. The person who brings that brings a gift! Also not about arguing better but relating better.
@Manana131
8 ай бұрын
I simply can't get enough of her. I read all her books, I listened to all her podcasts and I want her as a friend ❤ She's amazing
@theresas.3808
8 ай бұрын
I need her as my therapist! She explains everything.
@Manana131
8 ай бұрын
@@theresas.3808 Me too
@IndigoHazelnut
9 ай бұрын
Wonderful conversation. Thank you for this podcast. On the note of AI I will share an observation: When my sister was born my mother was in the same hospital ward as a woman who had just given birth but was under observation due to grade a drug addiction. I remember hearing her baby's cries & the nurses explained that basically the baby was crying so much as it was born with the drug addiction. It was one of the most terrifying cries I had ever heard. I had forgotten about this until a month ago when a woman came into my workplace with her 2 infants. At one point she took the phone off the hands of one of the infants and they started crying.. The same terrifying cry that baby with the addiction had.. When experts state that technology has no impact on mental health issues.. I honestly think they have their blinders on. I'm glad Esther Perel is speaking so frankly about her concerns.. While it is not helpful to get all doom and gloom about technology (it does have its pluses..such as me listening to this podcast).. Its important to acknowledge what issues are arising
@Lifetimelearningisbrave
7 ай бұрын
Tech in addition to our country being the ONLY developed one that doesn’t give paid year for 1-5 years for a mother to raise her infant. Times that fear by 80% of our infants at 6-12 weeks for 50 hours a week eeek. We have facilities raising our children and we pretend that is woman being equal instead of our babies growing into anxiously attached adults without a family identity as a home base.
@billpetersen298
3 ай бұрын
The whole part about choosing to thrive, after horrendous trauma. Is so amazing. My wife is so scared to open herself, to joy, laughter, sex. It results in being sick, and unhappy. (Not fulfilled). The plastic wrapped couch. This talk is inspiring. ❤️ Love you all.
@munimuni1385
9 ай бұрын
Thank you Esther! I never get tired of listening to you. You are wise and fun and very courageous. We need more of you!
@znieszka
9 ай бұрын
Jordan, Thank you for Clarifying about Polish citizens who were also persecuted and died in WW2. I really appreciate this, I am a Polish citizen, and Polish Jews suffered emancly at the hands of Germans. However, the war affected everyone and 3 million Polish citizens died in WW2 and 3 million Polish Jews were killed at the hands of Germany!
@kitgin4504
8 ай бұрын
Blame the warmonger Churchill who betrayed you
@kapler79
8 ай бұрын
The soviets drew the Polish blood.
@JordanHarbingerShow
6 ай бұрын
you're welcome. thank you for listening and for this comment.
@AlexFromToronto
7 ай бұрын
Is there such thing as a bad podcast featuring Esther? She is brilliant. Too many bookmarked videos that have been immensely helpful. She has worked hard to get here - that itself is inspirational.
@dustunderourfeet1819
8 ай бұрын
She’s so on point with the degradation of society (social atrophy at personal and larger levels) It causes me so much anxiety when I think about it. I hope it turns around soon!
@martianmoongdds
7 ай бұрын
Wonderful. Finally someone asking Esther questions about herself and her background. Thank you so much.
@JordanHarbingerShow
6 ай бұрын
thanks for noticing this! interesting people almost always have a very interesting past, yet most folks ignore this.
@MHobbs43
8 ай бұрын
Great talk. Six months ago I moved closer to my BF and said I was committed to the relationship. Now I realize that I was lying to myself. I didn't want a long-term relationship, I just wanted an adventure and expected him to make it right so I could stay. I'm ready for my next adventure and I don't want to blame anyone else for this.
@iamphoenix5376
7 ай бұрын
That’s a wonderful idea! There’s life after 60 years old. And it’s not easy.
@swadey2.017
6 ай бұрын
That mentality is what kept you single, now you’re old and lonely
@MHobbs43
6 ай бұрын
@@swadey2.017 I'm old and I've known myself in amazing ways. The goal is not men, it's a relationship with the world I've been placed in. Glory has all the feelings, even loneliness. It's beautiful.
@verb0ze
3 ай бұрын
That's beautiful that you have self-awareness to come to this realization. As long as you are honest with him and don't string him along, no issues here in my book.
@andreacravinhos9603
9 ай бұрын
Where have you been all my liffe⁉️ 😄❤ On my 3rd marriage. It's finally the right one. We're not in trouble - we believe in relationship psychology and maintenance. And, no surprises here, as a woman who has struggled with some of the things you're talking about, and felt that I died in previous relationships, I'm especially interested in this conversation. "Humor and playfulness" - Yes‼️‼️‼️‼️❤
@kapler79
8 ай бұрын
How much money did you make from the divorces?
@andreacravinhos9603
7 ай бұрын
@kapler79 None. Absolutely none. Got taken advantage of the first time, and the second time, I refused to ask for anything.
@sharonjoan9997
4 ай бұрын
@@kapler79such a show of who you are. You did not deserve an answer
@Wealthybaby
4 ай бұрын
“ Humor is a way of accepting who you’re with” omg I love that so much …53:19
@galateagalactica
6 ай бұрын
I love Esther Perel, her vibrancy, her eloquence and her wisdom. I am humbled by her generosity and in awe of her adaptability. This interview was mostly nutritious, but then, when her personal life was exposed without context or warning she was vulnerated and the interview lost course for a moment. Even then, what she said was inspiring and full of insight, power and authenticity. Bravo to this amazing woman, I always learn from her.
@AmusedPineTrees-wh1ed
5 ай бұрын
It's a treasure to learn of Esther Perels childhood and circumstances of her parents. Thank you.
@jasminegarcia1046
8 ай бұрын
I really loved the plastic couch metaphor. Such a beautiful way of understanding not only relationships but it’s relevant to how you view your life in general. What a great analogy from her personal life. Thank you for sharing!
@ileniepowell
9 ай бұрын
A great conversation! Esther Perel is always insightful! Thank you Jordan Harbinger for hosting this convo❤
@rsaha1796
8 ай бұрын
This amazing lady has a life of ger own . She is a great healer. A great inspiration to life.
@LCarefortheworld
8 ай бұрын
OMG, this is the third video I've seen featuring this lady (with due respect), and her skills are truly remarkable.
@fromdoormattoflyingcarpetw407
8 ай бұрын
Yes!!
@heartwisdomlove
9 ай бұрын
what Ester is sharing is very insightful and this is very refreshing
@LasshaLiou
9 ай бұрын
Esther is amazing and thank you Jordan
@cupcake0480
8 ай бұрын
Alan Robarge - a psychologist and couples therapist (he has videos on KZitem) has some brilliant insights into how we fool ourselves into staying in destructive relationships. And on attachment styles and attachment wounds.
@Bchristensen
6 ай бұрын
Thumbs down because the click bait title. The conversation barely covers this.
@anineavenant375
Ай бұрын
Not really. If you're not hearing the relation to the heading, then it makes sense you would need to listen to something like what's stated. She answers it in more than one way. Maybe just not what you want to hear. As she turns the responsibility back to you and makes one look at yourself.
@conniekeyse
5 ай бұрын
Esther is beautiful and brilliant. I always walk away from her talks with insights and a new perspective. Thank you for this amazing conversation. 💖
@pamelawilson5975
8 ай бұрын
She is fantastic. Hopefully, the host will see her to better understand how he can stop neglecting his wife.
@canadianhappyinitalytruest6556
8 ай бұрын
i had the same thought. Big fan of ester, not a fan of Jordan. Good luck to his wife as he seemed to humble brag when relating what his mother in law was saying. Sheesh.
@Spiritfba
8 ай бұрын
No mention of compulsive porn obsession that is ruining so many relationships. When is society going to start talking about this? It’s the elephant in the room and everyone is too brainwashed or ashamed to bring it up.
@jeanannedupratt7075
8 ай бұрын
Not sure it is the elephant in the room. Besides, Esther is addressing couple problems, not individual ones. Masturbation or voyeurism does fit into a less mature level of adult life. Don't you think ? Many women (maybe even men) put up with this, reasoning immaturity on the part of their partner, maybe even shyness. When bringing it out into the open and discussing it together is healthier. Or suggesting therapy, for each partner as well as couple therapy. Or agreeing to whatever fits their individual needs.
@AdrianaCowick
4 ай бұрын
@donaldjohnson-ow3kquh no 🤣
@AdrianaCowick
4 ай бұрын
@donaldjohnson-ow3kq I don’t have to be a man to understand that using porn is only harming yourself. People watch porn because we live in a fallen world where we call good evil and evil good. Pornography is evil. It destroys peoples minds and that’s exactly where satan himself wants you. It’s a lust issue. A heart issue. Which can only be mended by Jesus Christ. If you put your faith in Jesus and believe He died for your sins and was resurrected defeating death, you have the promise of eternal salvation with God our Father in Heaven. All you have to do is believe and you’re sealed forever. And when we’re in Heaven, there will be no suffering and no pain and no pointing the finger at one another saying “we only put up with you because of sex!” That’s a heart that has grown cold and only Jesus can heal that 🤍 It’s no one genders fault it’s just our sin nature and the evidence of our flesh.
@ElleJeane_
3 ай бұрын
Addiction to porn is an form of escapism, like alcohol, drugs, to avoid feeling, Dr K covers this in his channel, @healthygamerGG
@locationsnb
9 ай бұрын
It all comes down to trust
@monikawilliams6337
7 ай бұрын
after 42 years of a challenging marriage I've discovered my husband is an undiagnosed Autistic and everything makes sense. So although I can understand and relate to all the tips, and have tried all the angles my husband does not understand even if explained, He actually says "I don't get it"
@SENSEF
6 ай бұрын
Me too! Can't find a therapist who understands. The last one just said we're too far gone, just get divorced, as if that magically solves everything, which is doesn't when you have school age children, you NEVER stop being co-parents and divorce can be just trading one set of problems for another. We were hoping the Autism diagnosis would help bring resources, but nope! Only research online and KZitem about Autism helps, but a real adult Autism therapist would make a huge difference in uncovering what can be changed, what cant, and how we navigate that reality. Including how do we move forward despite all the hurt, damage, financial disasters, etc, especially now that we see how much the Autism contributed to his choices and behaviors.
@cjamis
2 ай бұрын
@SENSEF I don't know where you are located, but don't give up. I'm a Psychiatrist and happen to see your post. I hope you don't mind but I wanted to help.There are resourses, even if you get help with remote video and online groups. If you see these resources and it feels impossible to navigate or leads no where, call the Autism Society to have an advocate help you lically. Also, your insurance has an obligation to your husbcwith his diagnosis to find therapists for him that are AutismSD experts.(don't mention couples therapy to insurance co. But you can get at it as individual for him). Sometimes Adult autism has ADHD symptoms as well, a therapist who is an expert in the therapy and life coaching in ADHD is also skilled in adult autism, especially at the PhD level and some psch social workers too at masters level. These 2 links are to national resourses and rights: autismsociety.org :www.autismspeaks.org/resources-autistic-adults This link provides virtual sessions and takes insurance.www.prosperhealth.io/?ph_cam=PH_Web_PMax&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwp4m0BhBAEiwAsdc4aMmTWsKmkgQkVmU0x_x0Rt5NFJWX3AXNJcjpr3wFYKW--DCvTwaJXBoCY2cQAvD_BwE@SENSEF
@penelopecarrington2337
9 ай бұрын
As interesting as this is, the title is misleading. We're not advised when relationships are doomed...
@frankvaneck1
Ай бұрын
I love Esther and her work. A whole damn lot. She is on point 99% of the time. Which is incredible and awesome. This dude though destroys any humanness of the conversation by not owning up and being vulnerable towards himself and his own learnings. I am always bothered by these guys claiming to have a 'podcast' while actually they are craving some advice themselves and use the podcast as a way out to personally engage and take responsibility in the therapeutic aspects Esther brings to the conversation and is pointing at. Therefore the build up often falls flat on the ground through going into the next question before the actual fruits of the topic are to be harvested. I recommend listening to the podcast of Ester herself, where she shares full sessions with real clients. Absolutely stunning and full of golden nuggets.
@Charity1277
9 ай бұрын
I hear men saying to their wives " clean up this house"!. But they never ask their wife if they can help or can they hire a maid to help her.many women are overwhelmed with the mess from the children and they need help.
@wyleecoyotee4252
9 ай бұрын
Shouldn't be any surprise why women are choosing the single life
@johnfatorich3494
9 ай бұрын
Shouldn't have to say it, you don't let it get to that point. Maintain cleanliness. Team effort.
@sunmoonstars3879
9 ай бұрын
Yeah if you’re a mother who can focus solely on the family (ie not working outside the home for an external source) then keeping everything running smoothly shouldn’t be an issue as long as she’s physically and emotionally fit, healthy and resilient; with a husband who’s providing security, kindness and generosity - women need to feel safe and secure to thrive. If she’s expected to behave like a man and earn money for an external entity, then how on earth is she going to have the mental and physical capacity to maintain the home? Men and women are very different species and right now that’s not being recognised and women are really struggling, and men aren’t happy either.
@jnwest2029
8 ай бұрын
@@johnfatorich3494if you’re shouting at your wife to clean up this house. That’s a demand for her to comply. It’s not a team effort. Men need to clean up their own homes and stop expecting women who also work to do it all.
@Alnivol666
8 ай бұрын
@@jnwest2029 Nobody is expecting them to do it all. In fact, women today...modern women do very little but expect a lot. We are not living in the 70's. Women have never been as lazy as they are today. Also, if you both are working, get a freaking maid once a week or two weeks.
@aegliv1589
Ай бұрын
Incredible analysis. I want to add that in order to approach our partner first of all we must come with good will and they too. Is also known that we replicate our first family's learned behaviours, so we are basically doomed if we are not aware of that.
@sarah4841
6 ай бұрын
Such a great conversation! Love love love her!!! Thank you🙏🙏❤️
@briannerk3373
8 ай бұрын
Monogamy in the past and some present cultural circumstance, CAN be about buttressing a patriarchy; but that doesn't mean that it is in every society. Monagamy is there for a reason; cheating rips apart a holy bond of trust between two soul mates... to reduce it to "patriarchy" signals a contemptible turn toward a malignant paranoic type of identity politics. honestly this is pretty gross to listen to because she had valuable things to say about relationships in the past. You cant get everything in life, live with it. Limits aren't always bad.
@roses6564
8 ай бұрын
Ha, ha. If they are soulmates, they don't cheat. If they cheated, they weren't soulmates. Most married people are NOT soulmates. The vast majority of marriages are transactional even if people don't think so this is their case. Sure it is. kzitem.info/news/bejne/snxq3p6copeki44
@kapler79
8 ай бұрын
She has relevant insights but this reduction of monogamy to outdated social norms is wrong on a lot of levels. Non-monogamous relations have a dreadful track record of success, as do civilizations that allow them.
@doviejames
7 ай бұрын
"Protect the relationship" made it impossible for me to come to terms with my ex's covert selfishness and profound disinterest in my well being. When I finally stopped doing that it didn't very long for her to make everything clear. I can't blame her for being who she is, my only regret is I didn't stop protecting the relationship 15 years earlier.
@tlrobbins1
9 ай бұрын
This was such valuable information! Thank you!
@pino_de_vogel
5 ай бұрын
A relatrionship is doomed when one of you don't want to fight and change/compromise anymore. It's not rocket science. Words don't matter actions do. Here saved you 80 minutes :) spend it doing something nice for your partner.
@karinesavard2016
4 ай бұрын
Thanks 👍🤗💯
@JillCox-mm9un
2 ай бұрын
Sometimes the words said to them, critical and mean words are the reason a person no longer wants to try anymore. The reason they check out.
@pino_de_vogel
Ай бұрын
@@JillCox-mm9un Then the person is not worthy as that's a single person issue. If you can't take critique you are not mature enough for a relationship.
@Smartartin
6 ай бұрын
She is so accurate.. without a single bias
@collective_tarot
9 ай бұрын
I loooooove Esther Perel !!!!
@asset34
8 ай бұрын
Nothing about identifying a doomed relationship here…
@sandrapatriciagironlopez9493
2 ай бұрын
Thank you for bringing Esther so close
@caterinaplatt9811
9 ай бұрын
I love the plastic on the couch metaphor!!
@kacake
8 ай бұрын
Yes, this is true, when a husband hurts his wife, he is hurting himself, and vice versa. Your input determines your output. When you appreciate the strength first then suggest to improve on weakness and in the end close by saying, your relationship is better than you and I... If you have same belief, never break up, if you don't have the same belief, leave each other.
@annastamps2769
8 ай бұрын
I love her! Such an intelligent and wise woman
@janeshelswell3313
4 ай бұрын
What a fantastic and insightful interview!
@sienalite6361
8 ай бұрын
Well he's here asking questions and seemingly absorbed nothing! She's amazing!
@shohrehshakoory8343
5 ай бұрын
Beautiful. Her wisdom and technique are fantastic. I wish these would be taught in schools and colleges.💚
@raymondcava4669
10 ай бұрын
Thank you for this podcast it was very interesting.
@mullraerae299
7 ай бұрын
No, we weren't meant to live like this, absolutely spot on, and yet we carry on living like this, don't live with your partner, end of, sadly most cannot afford to live like that.
@ambercozzinowak
7 ай бұрын
Wonderful. Watched to the last minute.
@angierucinski5694
Ай бұрын
That was absolutely fascinating Thank you Jordan, it was the most interesting thing I've listened to in ages.
@hope4life495
5 ай бұрын
I have also never heard her talk about narcissistic tendencies would love to hear her talk about that
@CatCassandra
6 ай бұрын
Love this episode. Do take every issue to “ the floor”… we are more grounded…. Stay in touch with the ground. Even on a grounding mat.
@verb0ze
3 ай бұрын
Esther says that monogamy has been something that's been imposed on women by the patriarchy, which I can logically understand. However, this begs the question then that, in our more modern free world, why is it that women still choose that? Why is it that a woman still want a man who will devote attention to her and her only, as opposed to pursuing many partners, and why is it they still get jealous of the attention a man might give to another woman? My hunch is that there is an inheritant aspect of safety that comes with monogamy that appeals to both men and women. Else, throughout various cultures, polygamy would be the dominant relationship style, especially in today's world.
@Sparkrootwild2023
Ай бұрын
There are many ways to be a sexual human being across the globe. Different cultures have many different styles of relating sexually, it’s not either monogamy for life or polygamy. There are myriad versions of polyamory or serial monogamy, it’s only when Christianity came along with its jesuits and missionaries that the nuclear family enforcement became embedded into colonized communities. It’s a wholly unnatural way to relate on every level. And the more the western imagination becomes concretized into the imposed artificialities of the disconnected and largely meaning void west, the less we can remember what is natural for our species, and the more afraid we become for lack of familiar support, the isolated two parents can never be an entire village to each other or their children, nor can compulsory schooling serve as a “community.” Essentially, this pressure cooker cage of accumulation and coping is all the western industrialized human has left. It’s both resented and clung to, for lack of any other option, for lack of imagination, for fear and control, all of which is very good for the economy, and a disaster for the human spirit. Look around, it’s a highly medicated, depressed, rioting imprisoning institutionalized and very expensive medically distastrous mess. The west and its many impositions is a fail, unless you look at it in terms of herd management for profit, in which case it’s working out just fine.
@enarcadie1105
4 ай бұрын
She's brilliant and amazing in all she says and does.
@wendyhopkins4045
7 ай бұрын
Yes!! Simply ask what your wife truly wants … probably a break !
@RyannCohn
3 ай бұрын
This unbelievable inspiration is truly life-changing and ridiculously brave. She makes me want to be brave, or at least learn how to be.
@lindawolfe2885
9 ай бұрын
I disagree. With enough information regarding the biology of sex, passionate sex can be sustained in a long term relationship. A relationship where both people desire monogamy, has the greatest chance of happiness.
@roses6564
8 ай бұрын
Two people can passionately desire monogamy and still have an un-salvageable relationships due to incompatibilities of interior. When they grow apart internally, no amount of hot sex is going to fix the problem.
@lindawolfe2885
8 ай бұрын
@@roses6564Agreed. There are many ways a marriage can go off the rails. It’s just that something tells me, in a case where both parties desire monogamy, the chance of happiness together goes up. And having been an RD for 33 years, having 4 sisters who are RNs, I can tell you from a clinical standpoint, sex with someone other than one’s marriage partner poses a risk to both the physical and emotional health, safety and happiness of a married couple.
@swadey2.017
6 ай бұрын
@@roses6564Find someone who you’re compatible with, monogamy can be achieved through compatibility
@roses6564
6 ай бұрын
@@swadey2.017You do realize that ordering people to simply "find" someone compatible does not automatically imply agency. "Finding" is hardly within an individual's control, agency is not guaranteed; and even when two such people do find each other and reciprocate interest, structural impediments are often an issue. To manifest marriage, most people settle for a more or less opportunistic approach, committing to less-than-compatible partners - which explains the 70-80% rate of marital failure, whether divorces or simply intact but devitalized, expired marriages. We should quit pretending that marital fulfillment is all within individual control, especially in a context of calcified narratives about marriage. It isn't.
@swadey2.017
6 ай бұрын
@@roses6564 You can’t do everything with one person, broaden your social circle, a healthy network of friends/family would be ideal. Being with your partner 24/7 would drive one to insanity. It’s important for couples to have time apart, it’s also important for couples to have date nights. People who decide to be poly should always communicate their deeds, honestly is respect. Esther Perel cucks her husband, good for her, but she giving cheaters a license to cheat and that’s f’d
@ronrg9518
8 ай бұрын
THE BEST love-speaker ever !!
@kapler79
8 ай бұрын
Monogamy is the reason we enjoy a great standard of living.
@anniemac7545
Ай бұрын
I love that your husband chose an Australian accent on GPS Siri....I'm Australian and thought it sounded very broad and grating...so thank you!
@rachelsnewlife
5 ай бұрын
I am a Jewish (Polish heritage) woman who also has had Holocaust surviving family members. My "silly" story (humor is everything!!!) I wanted to share is that the plastic covers were appreciated when the teens in the household got into dad's liquor cabinet for the first time and threw up on the couches!! The uncomfortable covers sure came in handy cuz mom would have had our hides!!
@ricklegendary2990
6 ай бұрын
sometimes, I ask my wife if she wants to watch TV together, she says no, she's not in the mood for that, do you want to go for a ride , again... no, I just want to chill, I started feeling like I'm trying to build a connection and she was like " leave me alone, so I thought maybe I should give her that " alone time as a indication that I care, however it feels like she controls the narrative because it's like we do the " We " things when shes ready as I'm alot more flexible. this is where in at
@carmengutierrez4466
8 ай бұрын
What about Loyalty?
@zztop8592
5 ай бұрын
I think we all live day to day knowing that tomorrow could be our last day on this planet.
@MitchL4yt
2 ай бұрын
This is such a brilliant learning topic .
@susanwalker7105
4 ай бұрын
This is insightful..but just remember and acknowledge..words mayter..actions matter...show the kindness to the significant other than you would want to receive..
@pa2359
9 ай бұрын
Infidelity must be dealt individually, for sure the person cheating has something with the core relationship and then hooked with fantasy.
@mullraerae299
7 ай бұрын
Sometimes you meet a person that gives you feelings you never had with the person you're with at present, or likes the things that you do, at that point you've a big dilemma.
@marcusmagnificus1984
5 ай бұрын
Great explanation. Still, cheating is cheating.
@fredb2517
2 ай бұрын
This was such a rich conversation
@Ellerichardson-k4s
4 ай бұрын
The advice your guest gives is related to partners who are decent people. My partner of 11 years has turned out NOT to be decent. I treated him all along as if he was a decent person, e.g. giving him freedom to go & meet friends, take trips abroad alone, etc. because i believed that sort of freedom to be healthy in a relationship. He had at least one affair that I know of, over a 2 year period. He met the person during those hours of freedom. I realise now that it was a mistake to trust that he was capable of being faithful. Your advice does not relate to those who are not decent humans. Unfortunately these types are master con artists, making them difficult to spot. The situation is still raw & very difficult to cope with. I hope that i can get through it.
@LisaFenton-h7f
4 ай бұрын
I love Esther Perel's perspective. Great that she emphasizes HUMOR! And something worth pondering that she asks, "What are you fighting ABOUT? and What are you fighting FOR?"
@maggiemiddleton8760
8 ай бұрын
What is relational and what is individual? Love that
@violetacitron1450
19 күн бұрын
• ♤ accountability and compassion can be contagious..
@coutureleotards
9 ай бұрын
Ester please come to the @Highly Initiated podcast. Your work has helped me tremendously in changing my opinions and views of the hurt of adultery. He claimed he was going through a midlife crisis so when you say its not about you its about him. It was so valid! I healed faster because I understood my part and his part in the divorce. I still cut his 🍑 off 😂 but I wasn't angry anymore about an adult making a choice that was contrary to my beliefs and values. I don't hold on to that pain anymore because true peace is so much better for my health. While all humans benefit from Esters explanation of relationships the black community as small as it is in the US is lacking any idea of the concepts of relationship, monogamy and the mindset needed to even consider marriage.
@Lindseyro
9 ай бұрын
Sadly nowadays most of/ many of our cultures are lacking these concepts and relationship values etc etc. . . I totally understand where u are coming from. & We all deserve happiness, love, excitement, honesty, loyalty, genuineness, and the list goes on... I hope each and everyone of us who might be struggling or having issues in this department, I hope we all reach that good sweet spot one day, sooner than later. & As i/we grow older n more wise, more n more is starting to make sense n open my eyes n mind to an updated more mature perspective look on everything involving this complicated subject. The precious thing called "relationship life".
@coutureleotards
8 ай бұрын
@@Lindseyro All of that 💯😆 I totally agree with you and yes wisdom and growth has truly changed my perspective on my relationship with me and then any over flow I can share with others. I care enough for myself and other humans to take the time to fill my own cup first. All over the internet toxic relationships are the most viewed. It's good to know there are people healing and seeking some rational in this crazy thing called Love 🤣💖
@CrystalDatingCoach
9 ай бұрын
First Rule don't bring up things from Last month or last year. It's Irrelevant. Talk about NOW. Why your angry now.
@lesliewelch2890
6 ай бұрын
I mean, if one does not make room to validate and hear what their partner was upset about, the issue does not go away. If it keeps coming up, you haven’t made space for them to feel heard.
@sussannekeith5676
Ай бұрын
Yes, stop with the history…
@Emy53
6 ай бұрын
When we are young teens, we're in such a hurry to grow up, but now that we're all grown up, we stress over responsibility that comes with being an adult. Then we worry about how old we are and want to reverse the aging process.
@oderatheartist1994
5 ай бұрын
Hello Esther, i totally love your talks.
@Jenny-ls7hf
4 ай бұрын
She’s brilliant.
@Inspiration_Connect
3 ай бұрын
EP is switched on
@Nexus2UAll
3 ай бұрын
'Monogamy has been an imposition on women'. So I guess she's against monogamy, did I hear that correctly?
@kaylabryson1932
8 ай бұрын
Jordan, take her advice!! Give wife alone time !! Time off! Many stay at home mothers don’t get much time off.
@mfanakithi2002
8 ай бұрын
I enjoy listening to her perspective. Trying to get my gal to buy in
@Kv-pk2st
8 ай бұрын
Good luck. I hope she follows your lead.
@JillCox-mm9un
2 ай бұрын
Self development used to come through self sanctification.
@sunwrey
8 ай бұрын
Do you really need to make a note to remember to say thank you to your wife?!
@chereeburtner4659
9 ай бұрын
I think Jordan needs to learn to do laundry and take some chores from his wife. Sounds like he won't do washing his washcloth for 3 months if she didn't do it. He's an adult, do adult tasks. Help with the kids,etc. He should ask her, how can I help?
@camellia8625
8 ай бұрын
Even better, just see what needs to be done and tackle some of it.
@Liesh_K
4 ай бұрын
Jordan needs to learn a lot of things beyond himself.
@caringforall4454
4 ай бұрын
The excuses of needing adventure, wanting a different life, unhappy with responsibilities or boredom are all superficial. You need to dig down to get to root of infidelity- usually attachment issues or sexual abuse from childhood
@MyJmba
8 ай бұрын
A Selfishness Anthology, Why to justify what is wrong in every single aspect, what is wrong is going to be wrong always, if you want to experience out of your marriage, divorce or splitting is the word you are looking.
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