the day after I filmed this I sat down and filmed a video for Patreon which I called “The Truth About Detransition (on a good day)” because I was feeling a lot more positive about things, and having one of my good days out of the month. Check it out if you’d like: www.patreon.com/posts/39345277
@cjo7277
4 жыл бұрын
You're a beautiful human being!
@jorgschrauwen
4 жыл бұрын
Link to the viral video?
@luxie2155
4 жыл бұрын
Remember u r a strong and beautiful woman EVERY day!
@brookeg5979
4 жыл бұрын
I hope you are going through this process with a caring and thoughtful physician who can help you navigate your hormonal needs as you transition. I have noticed a pattern in your videos (and you've spoken of it several times) of your ups and downs, good weeks and bad weeks, and while it might be the depression you mentioned it may also be that you need some additional hormonal help while things are coming back. I know you are not a fan of medical intervention, but temporarily it may help alleviate some of the worst of these bouts buffeting your emotional state throughout the month. Love your videos, be kind to yourself hon.
@pinupgirl9160
4 жыл бұрын
You’re so likable! So even-headed and smart. I hope you have more good days this month!
@angelicallydemoniacal
4 жыл бұрын
hey Elle. I started identifying as a trans guy in February of 2019, I was so involved with FTM community on Instagram that I legitimately believed I was supposed to be male and that nobody could convince me otherwise. Fast forward to March 2020 I was about 2 months away from starting T, however then I discovered your channel and began to watch you videos that were out at the time. I watched you and thought “wow that’s similar to how I feel” I ended up identifying as female again. If you didn’t make these videos I definitely would have started T and I would have gotten even more engulfed into the trans community. Thank you for sharing your experience, you really did save me and I hope you’re doing great and everything for you turns out okay. ❤️
@ellepalmer
4 жыл бұрын
i am so glad that my videos helped you. thank you for sharing this.
@valyriansteelers9607
4 жыл бұрын
This made me cry - it’s all worth sharing and putting your story out there if you can help just one person. Thanks for your comment it’s so important!!
@siffe3336
4 жыл бұрын
I never started identifying as trans but after getting more involved with the lgbt community at like 14 years old I felt so pushed to identify as trans or non binary and started seeing all my insecurities about my body as gender dysphoria and thinking that I obviously couldn't identify as a girl because I was so boyish as a child. Luckily I met a more gender critical friend who introduced me to the more critical side of KZitem which I am so thankful for because I am 100% sure now as a 19 year old that transitioning would have ruined my life, since I have dealt with some of my insecurities I feel much more comfortable in my body.
@doubleboy2388
4 жыл бұрын
It's crazy that this is even happening to young people. Not that there aren't real trans people, because there are. But this new generation has taken it to another level. It's become like a trend, it's become cultish. Kids feel pressured by their LGBTQ peers to transition and identify as this or that. It's not good. You're one of the lucky ones who didn't go all the way with it. I believe this trend will pass in the not so distant future, and people will not be in danger of making life altering decisions that ultimately prove to be a mistake.
@angelicallydemoniacal
4 жыл бұрын
Bobby Bonilla Bobcat that is so true. I was 15 when this all started for me. I was at such a vulnerable stage in my life (and I still am only one year later). people my age like to feel trendy and accepted online. It’s easier for us to connect with our LGBT friends if we also identify as LGBT, but don’t get me wrong, i’m glad the internet is so accepting and inclusive, but for people like me, seeing that wasn’t good. I felt like the only way I could make close friends online was if I was in the LGBT community and looking back, that thought process is quite dumb. The more people who join this “trend” the more people who will be exposed to it, and that’s very concerning. I agree with everything you said, this hopefully will pass one day but I don’t see that happening any time soon unfortunately, I think the way to slow it down is to educate teens on how life changing transitioning really is, and hearing the stories of detransitioners is so important too. anyway sorry for rambling on
@Anna-d6b9f
4 жыл бұрын
I don't know if you gonna read this or not, but I am a woman of 32 years old now, back when I was 22 I attempted suicide and broke my back in 2 different vertebra and my posture has changed the way I sit, stand and walk has changed for ever, I gained a lot of weight, I changed a lot, I lost a lot of my natural beauty because of the back pain drugs I had to take, at time I felt so regretful of the suicide attempt. And I feel you when you say I will never look like the way I would have looked like hadn't I attempted suicide which resulted in me losing my body shape, I just want you to know that you are not alone in this, I feel you and I am here if you want to talk on private, I do understand you. Know that you are still young. You still have a life time ahead of you, things will get better with time, never give up on making yourself happy again. Love and support from north Africa ♥️
@sahelichowdhury
4 жыл бұрын
I hope you are well now!
@EpicKate
4 жыл бұрын
Wow, thank you for sharing your story. You are so brave to be vulnerable. Hugs from Sweden.
@theliminalist4429
4 жыл бұрын
I dont think your skeleton is going to be that affected. Im a 27 year old female and i have a MUCH stronger jaw and brow ridge than you. So I wouldnt focus on that at all. Youre really quite feminine, dont worry!
@teresamesa
4 жыл бұрын
Me too!! All my natural cis female body made me look manly. And the vast majority of the world perceives me as female. I have really strong shoulders too.
@dimwitsixtytwelve
4 жыл бұрын
@@teresamesa we are all different and it makes life interesting. my girlfriend comes from a family of big broad shouldered men. she is tall but still very feminine, which is awesome to me!
@humanoide7076
4 жыл бұрын
Same, her face looks femenine, if I see her on the street I wouldnt think she is a guy I just dont see that while looking at her face also there are girls that dont look "femenine" I personally look quite masculine because I have strong features you could say, I look like my dad basically
@teresamesa
4 жыл бұрын
@@dimwitsixtytwelve i think kids these day have too much access to poorly presented information and they rationalize attractiveness and gendered features to an extreme. i'm glad i grew up going to the gym and the swimming pool and just being used to seeing all body types as valid. Of course the gender conversation wasn't so widespread, but femininity wasn't limited to the marylin monroes and waifs.
@teresamesa
4 жыл бұрын
@blue BLUE that's probably the case. I hope she sees what we see some day.
@simfimpim
4 жыл бұрын
I don't think you look like a guy at all. You look like a very pretty girl. You probably think you look like a guy because you are comparing yourself to what you looked like before you started hormones, but other people do not have that comparison point.
@niasboiii
4 жыл бұрын
Indeed.
@tballin92
4 жыл бұрын
Somber mood in this video. Hope you're doing okay.
@doubleboy2388
4 жыл бұрын
I noticed that in a video about a month ago. I even commented about it telling her something, because I felt like she was sad. I feel like the weight of what's happened is getting heavier on her. The decision she made to transition, and then ultimately detransition. She makes light or the situation, but I think deep down she's really having a hard time. This is why more young people need to watch Elle, and learn from this. Taking hormones can alter your life in negative ways, if in fact you decide to detransition. Which more and more people are these days.
@ArielRosie
4 жыл бұрын
She regrets transitioning to a man. She’s sad
@moniquevanleeuwen6514
4 жыл бұрын
I think she’s just being honest and sincere. Speaking from the ❤️. Don’t see any sadness.... It’s called ‘being REAL’.
@sunshin3697
4 жыл бұрын
Deaf subscriber here! Don't know if this helps, but just looking at you, you look 100% female. I can't hear your voice, obviously, so I don't know if that skews your view of yourself... But you LOOK like a beautiful, feminine girl to me. You have very soft features in my eyes.
@ellepalmer
4 жыл бұрын
this just made my day. thank you for watching!!
@i.1213
4 жыл бұрын
elle palmer And the eyes... smiling. ☺️
@jessicar2214
4 жыл бұрын
Seriously. I'm watching this with no sound due to hubby listening to music but you 100% look female. And I'd guess young 20s. I turned up the volume slightly to hear your voice and it sounds less masculine that when I saw a video awhile ago. You have no idea what you would have looked like at this age had you not transitioned. You may have ended up looking exactly how you do now.
@iamlight1
4 жыл бұрын
You ARE a woman, of course, you will be accepted!!! I don't see you as having a masculine face or face-shape. You look like a pretty young woman.
@Shasha-jo5iv
4 жыл бұрын
Oh Elle you do belong in women's communities. We are at a net loss without you.
@marcye3649
4 жыл бұрын
Absolutely!!! I couldn’t agree more.
@standup2982
4 жыл бұрын
YES!!
@lindahubbard2728
4 жыл бұрын
This is coming from someone who could be your mom; You are as cute as a button! Most women would never be brave enough to post a video without makeup, but you have natural beauty.
@Mary-xi2ow
4 жыл бұрын
word!!
@teresamesa
4 жыл бұрын
we are so used to seeing made up faces that we forget what a woman looks like naturally. messed up
@banjomutant
4 жыл бұрын
this is right, she is so cute, be happy with yourself, most people are struggling with their body in horrible ways, we have got something like a 40% obesity rate. you are very cute. I would look at someone like you as someone with a really interesting life experience, not a negative. i don't think i would ever get to date someone as sweet as her tbh. :s
@Eyesofmars2040
4 жыл бұрын
Resilience Poem by Dipendra Tamang Yes, she’s been fractured, Broken down And messed around Taken to the heights And dropped down But She’s picked herself up, put the pieces together again brushed away your dirt and emerged stronger. She may have lost a move, But not the game And now resilience Is her middle name.
@ellyw7201
4 жыл бұрын
What a beautiful poem! So glad you posted it, thank you!
@meh_lady
4 жыл бұрын
That is so lovely, thanks for sharing!
@cerberv5040
4 жыл бұрын
Damn, this is brillant. Reminds me of Invictus by William Ernest Henley.
@ravelove1260
4 жыл бұрын
That is a moving poem
@valyriansteelers9607
4 жыл бұрын
❤️
@LikeMike420
4 жыл бұрын
I'm FTM Transgender and I just want to say We support you! It's okay to make mistakes and despite the stereotype that "trans people hate de transitioners" we don't. It takes alot of courage to admit you were wrong sis,
@Mila_Brearey
Жыл бұрын
She wasn't wrong. The medical establishment along with schools & the social contagion encouraged by the trans community were wrong! Almost every girl hates her body while going through puberty.
@jennicaharris9134
4 жыл бұрын
You look like a beautiful woman; don't be too hard on yourself about your appearance. As far as the voice, yes, you have a deep voice, but people will focus on what you're saying, not on what you sound like. I don't think people will dwell on your voice, and they will pay attention to your personality.
@katarinalkuhn9717
4 жыл бұрын
I know that when my estrogen is peaking, my depression and anxiety do the same. It's hard being a woman. Plain and simple.
@helengibbs3153
4 жыл бұрын
Absolutely! It got worse as I got older and I got pretty desperate until I went onto the pill full time (no hormone breaks)
@snesne618
4 жыл бұрын
That's why you shouldn't judge women who decide to transition or use estrogen blockers.
@Mountaingrly2513
4 жыл бұрын
You will figure this out. I believe you are exactly where you are suppose to be in life. You’re going through something that some can’t even think about. All of these trials and tribulations could be used to help others. Maybe that’s why you’ve gone through what you’ve gone through. You have a beautiful spirit. And you will get through this💕 thank you for being open and honest about it.
@liablau
4 жыл бұрын
Beautiful comment! Well said.
@maryistulsafox
4 жыл бұрын
The Voice may not be feminine It's not really masculine either. But you do have a good speaking voice. Just saying
@maryistulsafox
4 жыл бұрын
And I think you'd be cute in a cowgirl hat.
@laurie8090
4 жыл бұрын
I wonder if there is a thing with detransitioners like anorexia where you can't see your real self now, that when you look in the mirror you see a distorted self? Because you don't look like a guy. At. All.
@kyliedroid
4 жыл бұрын
That's called body dysmorphia! It sucks but it is something a lot of people experience.
@megharoni
4 жыл бұрын
I wanna just say, I see you as 100% female. I wouldn't think twice. No lie.
@camilaosorio9675
4 жыл бұрын
You can do voice training ,do it little by little and if that doesn’t work you can get voice feminization surgery too ,I feel it will really help you because I have the same issue.
@laure2390
4 жыл бұрын
Dear Elle, Time heals all wounds. I hope this gets easier each day. I hope you know many women wonder if they are feminine enough; in that, you are extremely feminine. There are women who look manlier than you do now with no testosterone, and they don't have to prove their womanhood; neither do you. Not denying the special pain that you experience, and the depth of that experience; but hoping you feel less alone in those small things. I think one day looking back you'll see other people around you struggled a lot with their body image as well, though in different ways. The real growth and goal is to stop caring what others think. I'm glad you have days where you feel like this, and I hope it will be everyday soon. Also I know you get a lot of this feedback, but watching your videos one after another, the changes are super noticeable!! Your voice is so much higher, it doesn't really read as masculine to me anymore. Your hair and skin look great. And that's only one year. Time goes both faster and slower when we are in pain. I hope you can find joy in the meantime to give you the strength to keep going.
@meh_lady
4 жыл бұрын
Elle, you have experiences and a ways of explaining and expressing them that are SO unique. Your willingness to share that is such a gift to the world. I love the saying “What other people think of me isn’t my business” and I know you will get there someday. You’re more tuned into yourself than you realize, definitely miles beyond my mid-40’s self. People think I’m even-keeled but that’s because I hide/ignore my thoughts and feelings. I hope you realize how much help you are to people of all kinds, not just detransitioners. Your voice has become one I look forward to and find comfort in. When I see your face I see kindness and warmth. My mama instincts kicked in on this one and I hate to see you hurting. But I get it, we all have insecurities and you’re having to grapple with knowing you had a hand in creating them. You’re doing great, kid, just keep riding those waves. Much love to you! ❤️
@Chickenboi4eva
4 жыл бұрын
But you don't look like a guy!
@agnes-juliemartin7030
4 жыл бұрын
bcuz now she styles differently and now doesnt want to look like a guy anymore.
@humanoide7076
4 жыл бұрын
@@agnes-juliemartin7030 To me her face doesnt look masculine at all with any hairstyle
@happynjoyousnfree
4 жыл бұрын
Also your look reminds me of Janis Joplin! But regardless, ZERO wrong with being a non-gender-conforming female. Please know that what others think of you is more about them than about you.
@leyaluna102
4 жыл бұрын
Elle, i hope you get to see yourself with our eyes soon. You are a beautiful strong woman who just had a different way in finding themselves.. your personality is so wonderful and you will grow so so much every day and i can’t wait to see how you do so :)
@kudryavkalaika875
4 жыл бұрын
I am a woman with a naturally more testosterone body (inverted triangle type) and struggled with dysphoria a lot in regards to my body. The best tip I can give you is stay away from shirts with chunky collars such as the one you have on here. These are designed to add bulk to the neck which is good if you're a delicate looking guy. if you are a woman trying to look more delicate they are not your friend. My favorite shirts are black mock necks (not turtle neck) because they minimize my neck. Or in the summer scoop neck tank tops with thick straps. I get the lace trimmed ones to soften and feminize my collarbone. Please let me know if you would like help, I am unsure what body type you have but I might be able to give you some tips. :)
@sadya16
4 жыл бұрын
No way, I have a few mock neck shirts and I always thought how cute I looked in them but never realized that it was bc they make my neck look shorter! My neck is really long naturally,it makes sense now why I like them so much
@kudryavkalaika875
4 жыл бұрын
@@sadya16 what I meant mostly was that the dark collar minimizes the thickness at the base of my neck. :) but yes they are good for visually chopping up a long neck as well!
@k3nt0123
4 жыл бұрын
You’re honestly beautiful. Sure, your voice may be deep, but there’s things you can do to make it sound more feminine. But either way, I personally like your voice. Just keep your head held high. Time heals all. As tedious as that statement may be, it’s true. *says another 20something years* lol
@agnes-juliemartin7030
4 жыл бұрын
voice is nice, but the adams apple I cant get used to yet. But shes really sweet n first of all very human. Fucked up laws allowing that life changing irresponsible descision. But well, USA, they even have laws like the death penality
@xxtjxx6995
4 жыл бұрын
As someone who came out of an identity crisis just last year, I really feel for you. I never felt good enough as a daughter or a woman from past experiences with an ex and the way I was raised, being stuck to the side once my mother had kids (I love my brothers now) with someone not my father who she kept away from me until I was older very selfishly. I turned 18 and that year I had no idea that I was going to change for the worse, that I would dye my hair black and have it all cut off, that I would lose a lot it weight just to get rid of my hips with no hormones, and that my voice without me knowing gradually got lower just through my very own subconscious. I wanted to be a boy to distance my life from being a girl, I changed my name to Sam and I lived like that for a year and a half roughly. If it wasn’t for my friends who helped me through it all and let me express myself and let me see that I truly was unhappy, I stopped, and I slowly started to accept myself for my true self and that nothing that happened to me is actually me and not my fault. The biggest change was when I met my boyfriend who made me see that actually I love being a woman, I love my hips and my big eyes and long hair. I now wear dresses and my hair has grown just past my shoulders so far and I’m so proud of myself And I so proud of everyone who finds their true selves, even if they have to make some mistakes to get there.
@Ari-ih5un
4 жыл бұрын
im in a similar place that you were in, the identity crisis. I hate the feminine things about my body and voice and really want to start T to change some of it. There were times when I felt okay being she/her and a GNC female, but now its getting more and more upsetting. I don't know if its internalized misogyny, having problems with the concept of "woman"/being treated different because of it, or my past of body image issues/self hatred. I desire to look more masciline and like being seen as a guy. I'm almost 22 right now and this is really confusing. Were you completely unhappy living as a boy and din't feel right about it??
@brucehutton2089
4 жыл бұрын
What a wonderful story I'm proud of you your amazing. I'm Ashleigh I was born intersex 75% female 25% male no vagina, now with operations at 11 years old I had a new vagina constructed and since then 3 corrective procedures. I too always felt like I should have been male until I too met my boyfriend now my husband Bruce. He along with my closes girlfriends say Ashleigh you look sooo feminine not male at all but back then I was convinced I should be male. I now dress feminine, dresses makeup sometimes. I grew my hair out 6 inches past shoulder height, I am tall 5 foot 11 and have put on a little weight I was always too thin but now I am 26 years old and have just found out I am pregnant. For me definitely a C section birth but that's ok I don't care. So what I am trying to say is our minds can play tricks on us and make us believe we are something different and sometimes it just takes something or someone to bring us back to who we really are. Elle looks very female to me she needs to handle those dark days and don't we all. I think females experience more of those dark times than men because of hormonal changes through our month we just need to know that it's part of being a woman. Ashleigh 💖💕💗
@analuoliveira4301
4 жыл бұрын
When I watch your videos the only thing I think about is "How the hell a 20 years old has such a great head in her shoulders?" SERIOUSLY, the level of maturity that you show in your videos is amazing. You seem to be like an awesome human being.
@MrsPatmore289
4 жыл бұрын
Agree wholeheartedly.
@oliversmith8326
4 жыл бұрын
Your a very pretty and amazing woman
@jacychavira1673
4 жыл бұрын
I'm also a 20 year old de-transitioner, in some aspects I'm glad that I detransitioned at the time I did (when I was 18), because right before I decided to detransition I had the approval from my insurance for complete top surgery 😶! I had been on T for 2 years at the time, me having identified as a male for a total of 5 years
@Ari-ih5un
4 жыл бұрын
what do you think caused you to transition and what made you realize you were trans??
@jacychavira1673
4 жыл бұрын
@@Ari-ih5un I think what caused caused me to transition at the age of 12 was the initial feeling of me being uncomfortable with the fact of me growing breasts, general female puberty, and the attention of men. Once I started to wear training bras, my mom started warning me about men's stares and fantasies and to always be careful of sitting properly and always wearing a bra no matter if the male near you is your dad . I guess the true reason for me transitioning in short was to escape this, which worked in a way, but it wasn't about me being trans (which I mistaked it to be), but rather me not wanting to be viewed sexually at a young age
@mrselfdestruct7605
4 жыл бұрын
See, I detransitioned AFTER getting top surgery.thankfully I don't really care much and barely miss having a chest
@ninjasylph
4 жыл бұрын
@@jacychavira1673 kinda sounds like your mom scared the shit out of you instead of offering reassurance.
@laclochard
4 жыл бұрын
@@ninjasylph I mean if it's not your mum it can be this patriarchal world in general who traumatizes every girl with a reality that is violent for every woman.
@daniellem1838
4 жыл бұрын
Some advice from a woman who’s “over the hill”. Firstly, remember that women come in all shapes and sizes. We don’t all fit the mold of a stereotypical “girly-girl” and that’s okay. We all have things about ourselves that we don’t adore. In my youth, I strived for perfection. I came to realize that, that - doesn’t exist. The standards for beauty are ever evolving and I’ve come to believe it’s to sell products. In the eighties, bushy eyebrows were the thing. However, not so much in the nineties. Of course, they’re popular again. I wish I had known this when I was young, but YOU define beauty. Be your best self and people will be attracted to that no matter what the popular trend for what constitutes beauty and femininity is at the moment. So many people, myself included, spend so much time thinking about ourselves, that we don’t have time to fixate on others. The few people out there that may judge us, are people we don’t want in our lives anyway. So try and not hyper focus on those thoughts. That being said, there are so many dermatological options out there if things don’t quite reach a point that satisfies you...DHT blocking shampoos, minoxidil for hair growth, prolotherapy for hair growth, laser hair removal for the other areas, laryngeal chondroplasty to change the voice and good old makeup and you don’t have to plaster it on despite the trend. For those with anxiety and depression, try counseling. It helps to bounce your thoughts off others. Our thoughts are normal, we just don’t want to fixate on them. Counseling can offer solutions to working through the thoughts . Stay strong.
@cttofl1815
2 жыл бұрын
This is a beautiful comment and great advice
@skybluepink998
4 жыл бұрын
Your brave even if you think you are not. You are doing hard work about self acceptance and love that many people never people even attempt to do and that is brave. Being honest is Brave. Being honest with OURSELVES often requires an even deeper level of braveness.
@pgtrish
4 жыл бұрын
I know there are things you are feeling that are unique to you and your situation, but I want you to remember that some of what you feel is also part of the experience of being a woman, and that's a good thing. 🥰🥰🥰🥰
@brucehutton2089
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Elle everything you wonder about being accepted by others has been with me as intersex all my life. You will gradually accept yourself as yourself. Ok you chose and made a decision but I have lived all my 26 years with your issues and more but I can do it so can you. Ashleigh 💖💕💗
@agnes-juliemartin7030
4 жыл бұрын
intersex is different though. Intersex is soemthing ppl are born with by nature and not some gender confusion in the head. However nature is a funny thing. And hormons and the head too.
@kitty79532
4 жыл бұрын
@@agnes-juliemartin7030 I don't think they meant that can relate because it is the same thing but because they have the same fears about how people preserve their gender. They both constantly feel like people are confused by their looks or that people will judge them . They share similar experiences in the fact that they both struggle with their gender and how they are perceived by others. You can relate to someone without having the exact same struggle
@elliotkelliot
4 жыл бұрын
I’m a trans guy who came out the same age you did and I’m 5 months on testosterone. I keep watching your videos, looking in fear to see if I relate to anything you talk about. Honestly, your videos have helped me so much because I feel more confident than ever that I am truly trans. Idk, maybe in the future I will detransition but for right now, I feel comfortable with my gender identity. Thank you for helping me!!
@standup2982
4 жыл бұрын
Elliot, please stop harming yourself! Stop, you can't be a man, ever, and the testosterone you're taking is messing with your head.
@wackity.7879
4 жыл бұрын
@@standup2982 if you've ever met someone who's trans and the pain they go through to get that point. You'd think twice before saying things like that. And the amount of trans people around you who pass (although passing shouldn't be important) without you realising shows they will be accepted and taken for their gender. Whenever people say things like you I just want to go oh shut up, and I'm not even trans. I hate to think what's it's like hearing it when you're suffering.
@jaya6323
4 жыл бұрын
Stand Up he’s not harming himself, he is treating his gender dysphoria
@vilemug
4 жыл бұрын
Stand Up there’s a difference between actual trans people who experience gender dysphoria and the ones who transition and aren’t trans (no disconnect between the brain and the body). Please educate yourself on this
@fernf4323
4 жыл бұрын
elle - i have really enjoyed watching your videos this year. i am 21, female & from 14-16 struggled w dysphoria. i find it challenging sometimes to extend compassion to my past self. i seldom feel compelled to comment on youtube videos, but your youtube videos have been a big lesson to me in self compassion :-) you have such a calming presence and your kind soul shines above all. please keep creating!
@krisharrigan9614
3 жыл бұрын
You are so brave. I am 57 and have gender fluid issues since early childhood. I never had surgeries. I respect your experiences with both genders. Thanks for being who you are. You are so cute and smart.
@mattmuttley
4 жыл бұрын
You know things are about to get real when Elle doesn't open with that smile and "hello" wave.
@lindacox6010
4 жыл бұрын
Elle, I’m 62 and I think we never know who we are. There are days we feel flat regardless. You are you. This is part of you too. Part of your story of life. I am 62 and still don’t know who I am. Maybe we aren’t supposed to know.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@lindadelacy9516
4 жыл бұрын
I am also a 62 year old Linda, and I agree with Linda Cox whole-heartedly. I'm so proud of you!! You are so brave and strong. You are helping countless people with your videos. I think you look and sound fantastic just as you are!! xxoo
@kateadams1990
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing. I'm 39 and feel at times like people my age are supposed to have ourselves "figured out" by now. Maybe we're always learning who we are.
@stephaniemoulton
4 жыл бұрын
Agreed. At 46, I'm only just beginning to figure some things out about myself. This sounds like the crux of your issue: that you don't know who you are and feel like you don't have an identity, after feeling like you had your identity nailed dawn completely. And now you're grieving. Be graceful with yourself. You may grieve for a long time while you figure out who you are, and that's normal. But please be graceful towards yourself.
@PutOnTheNewWineskin
Жыл бұрын
It's like this because God has put this void in our hearts...so we seek Him 🙏 I was lost, but now I'm found. Once I was blind, but now I see ❤
@brendas.1374
4 жыл бұрын
I’m a trans girl and I could NEVER detransition. My previous life as a male was a nightmare. I was miserable and I had suicide thoughts all the time. Living a lie and pretending to be somebody your not. I knew from an early age I was a girl inside. So I transitioned to female when I was in high school. And now I’m a happily married woman 😊
@SpecterSuits
4 жыл бұрын
Elle, I know it's hard for yourself to see at this point in your detransition, but you don't look like a man at all. Literally at all. It will undoubtedly take a while for you to see what we see. Also keep in mind that you are an adult woman now, even women completely untouched by testosterone often do not resemble their 15 year old selves. Sending my love your way, you are a great person.
@DestinationArt
4 жыл бұрын
You should change nothing. You are perfect exactly the way you are. Can you improve, yes, but so can everyone. I love your strength and your vulnerability on camera, thank you for sharing. Be safe!
@klaudiawojtowicz963
4 жыл бұрын
Dear Elle, Thank you for the video. You are extremely strong and brave woman. I really admire your honesty and courage to talk about such difficult and personal things. Don't worry about your jaw shape or your voice - these are not things that determine femininity. You've been trough a lot but I hope and believe you will get over every crisis and lead a happy, peaceful life ❤
@BoardroomBuddha
4 жыл бұрын
"People don't think about me as much as I think about me." That is the truth. "What other people think of you is none of your business." RuPaul...
@WafflingWillow
4 жыл бұрын
Since you're only 20, your body is still growing. Trust me that when estrogen has it's time to make its impact again, you WILL look and feel feminine again. You're lucky that you didn't detransition at age 25+. I don't think we know enough about hormones to say exactly how that would work, but trust me as an FTM detransitioner as well, that this gets better. Already, you are looking a lot softer and more feminine. Every time I see your thumbnails, I see a woman. Please voice train if you think it'll make you feel better. If transwomen can do it, so can you. :) Thank you for sharing this. Since it's been 6 years when I detransitioned, I've kind of forgotten the day to day lows I had experienced. You reminded me of them and I'm more humbled than saddened. I know this stuff sucks now but God doesn't give you experiences you can't handle. You can handle this. ❤
@tinaturnerslegs
4 жыл бұрын
You are a remarkable person. As a woman I see you as a woman, you have all the essence of one. You radiate womanness and no deepness of voice can take that away. Your story is going to help so many other confused girls. I hope in your darkest times you can see how much your story matters, and that you are truly making a difference by sharing it. Thank you for your candor.
@i.1213
4 жыл бұрын
This comment. ♥️
@Charlie-de8tv
4 жыл бұрын
Elle, the first thing I see when I look at you - is a female. A very pretty female! Period. I would never think twice about it. As for your voice - it sounds like it is changing every time you do a vid. You are so young- you may not think in those terms bc of what you have experienced in your life already, but trust me when I say time really does have its way of putting things in our rear view mirror. Shadows of the past can only haunt us if we hold on to them. You are a beacon of light for others going through similar experiences - and you are strong - probably stronger than you know. And btw - I'm happy everyday of the month...said no one ever! Hang in there. You'll be alright. Give yourself some time.
@mj_dolman5122
4 жыл бұрын
You don't look masculine at all. You look like an attractive young woman. Your voice is deep, but not as deep as it was in the last video I saw you in five months ago. It might continue to change to a higher voice, but if it doesn't, don't worry about it. Being a woman with a deep voice is an advantage because it makes you sound like a boss lady (I say in my naturally high, squeaky voice, alas).
@alexandervelez9507
4 жыл бұрын
this won’t seem much coming from a stranger on the internet but you really do have a feminine face. i honestly would’ve never guessed you lived as a man. i think you’re just being hard on yourself but that makes sense. we are always hardest on ourselves.
@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983
4 жыл бұрын
Does anyone else just sit there and admire how pretty she is? Just look at her! She is so pretty. Sorry... Rant over, lol.
@amandajennings6310
4 жыл бұрын
When I first saw a photo of you I thought “yo, she’s super pretty!” not “oh he’s cute!”. My brain went straight to seeing you as a cis woman not a trans woman. I know that all of us beat ourselves up especially on our looks but trust us, you are an exceptionally beautiful woman❤️
@deathwolfs69
4 жыл бұрын
I'm a cis girl with muscles ,bigger shoulders and a bit of an Adam's apple . I also have a strong jaw line. I still look like a woman even with these "masc" features . - thicc muscular legs on a woman just hit different to the same legs on a guy. I actual have always felt a bit mad about the amount of surgery some trans people get like' oh I have to shave my jaw ' etc when there are naturally woman who look like that. It's like some trans people have such a narrow mould for what a woman is . Sick of it . Also have a friend who just went on t and he has alway had the most perfect baby soft skin and now its ravaged with acne. It really makes me sad as someone who suffered with acne as a teen . Its soul destroying . I hope they end up ok . You look feminine to me . I think your beauty ideals are a little confined . spend time meeting woman in real life -- not online - and your idea of womanhood should expand. Going to life drawing classes when I was in art school was 100 percent one of the best things I ever did for my body image. Every one has nice parts and unique parts when they are naked lol . I think buying too much into any 'identity'is bad. Like people who make there whole life about being a "runner" then suffer an injury and lose all their friends. Or people whose whole sense of self is based on being a mom then the kids move out .... it's not healthy. Enjoy your job but you are not your job . Enjoy your body but you are not your body. It's a vessel . you are you. Regardless of what you wear or do for work that spirit and sense of self inside is what matters .
@meriferguson7924
4 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Your feelings are completely valid, and as a thirty year old regular woman I can assure you that a lot of what you're feeling is a natural part of being female. Our hormonal cycles have us feeling great part of the month, and then feeling awful and hideous the rest of the month. We all know how it feels to obsess over one or more characteristic about ourselves because we think it's not pretty enough or feminine enough. We see other women all over the internet looking impossibly beautiful and immaculately dressed with perfect makeup, and then look down at our sweatpants and hairy legs, and at our regular faces in the mirror with hopelessness. Plenty of women who have never touched testosterone have facial hair and weird body hair due to genetics or hormonal imbalances, and plenty of women have bushy eyebrows and strong jawlines. And us women know that if you're not super pretty, or if you don't have an extroverted and winning personality, that you'll get largely ignored by society, and that sucks and we sometimes blame ourselves and think that it's because of a lack of something on our part. People tend to think of being female as only the aesthetic parts that the internet and society shows, but it's so much more than that. I know how hard it is to accept what other people say about your appearance because I personally struggle with it, but for what it's worth you 100% look like a regular twenty year old girl. Plenty of women have naturally deep voices, and as I've watched your videos over the last several months I can tell that it's already sounding less deep. And to be brutally honest, the pictures you show of yourself from when you identified as a male look very unnatural and obviously trans, and now you look completely normal and feminine and at ease, and your body still has some settling to do, so it will become even more feminine. I know my face and body have definitely changed since I was twenty a whole decade ago, and I didn't even have kids. I hope you'll take care of yourself and continue to express what's on your mind, and just know that all of woman-kind is rooting for you.
@hmozik
4 жыл бұрын
You really do look lovely and even though we all want to think that appearance is not the most important thing, we all have days when it feels like a very important thing. You got this! These experiences are part of your journey to become the badass woman that the universe has always meant you to be. Hang in there, girl!!
@kaylaloudy5457
4 жыл бұрын
It’s okay to have these feelings! This is a lot for one person to go through! Thank you for sharing your life/you story with us! Someday, someone will be going through the same thing and they will have you to relate to! What a gift you are! You are right where you suppose to be! We love you!
@jem4758
4 жыл бұрын
your honesty is amazing. thank you for sharing your experience. 💕
@rebekkar.1209
4 жыл бұрын
Have you considered trying some Makeup? Not that you need it but it might help your self confidence! You seemed so happy about small things in your Makeup try-on! Sending love, dear :*
@laurenbray8314
4 жыл бұрын
It's very worrying seeing people begin hormones to transition at such a young age because it's a big decision that I think requires more time, development and maturity to make. Doctors arent being careful enough.
@hannahh8119
4 жыл бұрын
But once you've gone through puberty it's more difficult to change, isn't it? There pros and cons I think.
@transfusionz
4 жыл бұрын
Please don't take inventory of the "permanent" damage you perceive you have done to yourself. Your body will keep changing. You altered your body at one time but your journey isn't over. Stay positive Elle
@av.benils.ozyurukll.m524
3 жыл бұрын
From a 37 years old straight women ~> YOU CONSTANTLY CHANGE and need to recalibrate according to the latest bodily circumstances especially if your sleep schedule, water consumption and contribution is out of wack and undisciplined... YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL AND VERY SMART AND WELL SPOKEN YOUNG LADY! I promise you that Mother Nature will clean it out in time... every 7 years every single cell in the body is replaced by a new version. PS ~ I naturally have a deep voice which makes some wonder... laugh and pass 😇💐💋💋💋💋❤️❤️❤️❤️
@user-rs1wc9qs3n
4 жыл бұрын
As someone, who happens to be a trans guy still pre everything atm, 9 years older than you I think the different parts of your twenties will change your perspective as you get older. Right now, at 20 and in your early twenties much like your teens it seems your identity and sense of self is relatively all consuming as you try to learn about yourself. As you get into your mid 20s you’ll likely feel more comfortable in who you are, it won’t be as much of a question. By your late 20s you’ll be pretty solid in your sense of self. You’ll no longer need as much validation and approval from the people around you. At least these are some mentality changes I’ve observed as I’ve aged. People act like getting older is terrible and that 30 is so old but 30s are like your 20s with a solid sense of self and far more awareness of the world around you. So basically it won’t always be like this. Time will help heal your wounds. I still think you should really get vocal training as your voice seems to be a primary source of discomfort for you and there are trans women with the same vocal issues that can speak in a female range and pass completely. I really think you should do it. I truly think that would solve a lot of you feeling invalid as a woman or incapable of being accepted. As for your appearance I personally think you look 100% a woman. I can’t see any masculine features in your jaw or brow.
@baillievickers6452
4 жыл бұрын
Every person’s body is a map of the things they have been through in their life, whether it be stretch marks, scars or anything else. You are beautiful in your own identity and your body is not altered in a negative way, you’ve just added a chapter of life to it. Look back on it as a positive time of growth and finding yourself. ☮️
@valdez3245
4 жыл бұрын
You are greatly appreciated and loved! Keep going forward! You have a purpose! And also, I don’t know why you are concerned, ( I guess it’s how we all perceive ourselves) , but, you look like a young cis woman. You don’t look like a male, AT ALL! You’re very pretty and don’t even need make up. (Yep, I saw the video! ) And, you are lucky to have great eyebrows. When I got older, mine started to fall off and now I wish I had the thicker brows I used to have! Be blessed! Shalom!
@dar213311
4 жыл бұрын
You are a gorgeous woman! Beautiful smile, feminine bone structure and eyes!! Your brows are perfect! When I'm feeling down I go to Sephora and spend $50 for a free makeover. Does wonders for my self esteem. Btw, I literally paid money for a more pronounced jawline. Your journey makes you who you are. Don't let anyone or anything keep you down girl. You are beautiful inside and out.
@carriesmith9943
2 жыл бұрын
You are a beautiful girl, accept yourself now! I am old and am dealing with wrinkles and gray hair. I can never go back to my youth, I regret not feeling good in my youthful body when I was young! Enjoy you...now!
@sydneyc3259
4 жыл бұрын
You don’t look like a male at all in my eyes.. I went back to the first video you did about your detrans video and your voice has changed a bit. It’s on the lower side but it’s not that low. You could do voice training. But I think you are beautiful the way you are and I hope one day you think the same EVERYDAY!!
@earthshod
4 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to comment because I identify with so much of what you said even though I have a very different situation, and I'm hoping that helps you feel even less alone. I am a cis woman who at age 34 had breast cancer resulting in double mastectomies without reconstruction and my ovaries being removed. I also need to be on estrogen blockers for ten years. I also happen to have always had a masculine jaw line that was the target of bullying in my teens (and still online occasionally). I definitely wonder how to dress and keep my hair, and whether I will be perceived as a trans man in my case. I see the lingering stares. The fallout from my husband of 14 years leaving me after I lost my boobs made me regret some of my surgeries and feel stripped of my "wife" identity for not being woman enough. Some days I have good days too. I hope that, as we age and mature, we will have more good days than bad with regards to identity. Much love to you.
@i.1213
4 жыл бұрын
Get rid of toxic relationships and just focus on the good loving people that deserve to be part of your life. Much love sending in your way.
@GailRDelaneyNovelist
4 жыл бұрын
You are lovely, and while I realize my experience is "knowing" you here, I honestly believe if I were to meet you randomly I wouldn't even wonder if you were a young lady or not. Women come in many shapes and sizes. I know this has been a challenge, but as someone old enough to be your mom, I want to tell you I am proud of you.
@theliminalist4429
4 жыл бұрын
Also, Elle, youre a very young person. I didnt really even look very womanly until I was like 25 haha. I was a late bloomer. Give yourself some time, youre so young!!
@RokkitGrrl
4 жыл бұрын
You can't make everybody happy. Your only option is to do what's right by yourself. Hang in there.
@JeffreyReillyparamedic
4 жыл бұрын
Elle, this was beautiful and so forthrightly honest. Thank you! I'd be lying if I didn't admit that is scared me a bit. The somber tone almost sounded to me like you have given up. You mentioned that every few weeks you have mood changes or emotional highs and lows. Guess what? THAT'S GREAT NEWS! Your body, your endocrine system, your pituitary gland are getting your body back in sync hormonally. The rollercoaster better have good strong seatbelts but the amazing news is that when you reassimilate your naturally occurring hormones, your depression will be better, self-esteem markedly improved, your body will "normalize" and you are going to be fine. Endogenous hormones are a slow-moving ship. It takes a long time to turn that ship, but she turns, If you were my daughter I'd wrap my arms around you and never let you forget how proud I am of you. Ok, hope this makes you smile. I'm the oldest of 7 kids. I had a wonderful mother who had a beautiful singing voice but who had a voice at least a half octave deeper than yours, I hear you speak, I hear my mother. I wish we could speak but realize that is probably never going to happen. Write a book. Make it a move, Educate people. You are a beautiful articulate woman with an amazing vocabulary and an experience, myself included most people are very unfamiliar with. I'm educating myself thanks to your amazing teachings and self-expression, Never give up. There is an old Irish saying (I'm of Irish ancestry) and it goes like this: FUCK 'EM Love you. If you have a go fund me page let me know, I'm happy to donate. Never forget the saying. Look in the mirror and say Jeff taught me this daily affirmation. FUCK EM! you are a leader and I am blessed to have our paths crossed. Affirmations are KEY xoxo
@PlanetJambon
4 жыл бұрын
You're a very attractive person. So beautiful inside and out, i really enjoy watching your videos, thank you for educating me. Hope you're doing alright out there
@jac5450
4 жыл бұрын
I'm not sure why I watch your videos, but your personality is just so wonderful. I'm in my late twenties, and I promise you it gets better. I am a woman and sometimes your body changes itself 1/5 women have PCOS, which causes more testosterone. I get facial hair due to it. As I head into my thirties I am more comfortable in my skin than ever. You will bloom more and more into who you are meant to be, I went from being a tom boy, to being dead feminine, back into being a tom boy. You are on a journey and please just keep looking forward.
@flamethrowercandle2354
4 жыл бұрын
Your skin, hair, teeth and eyebrows are magazine cover perfect. Your eyes are vibrant and your lips are amazing. Yes your voice is deep but just do vocal training. Yes you will stop caring one day. Lazer facial hair removal is no biggie. Please stop seeking validation from the group. "People dont think about me as much as I think about me." = exactly! Please know that you are beautiful. Also, you have a cute nose! :)
@joannaforthewin
4 жыл бұрын
I am so happy your hair grow back. And with voice training you will sound like a woman. I went through acne and left me a scar and I learned to live with this. I felt so hurt emotionally thinking that I would never be like I was but I survived. My point is that you are beautiful with your bold eyebrows which I find attractive and your jawline. You are right that things change as we live. You remind me of myself you are a very clever person and I hope you keep going this way. And remember the worst passed. Now you are free of dysphoria and still young. Love you! 😍
@texasjar
4 жыл бұрын
I'm so proud of your growth! You are so right that your body is perfect the way it is. You were made this way. It's those emotions that mess with our lives. It sounds like you are working through the emotional issues. Keep going forward!
@MartinDenStore
4 жыл бұрын
You're beautiful. You're well spoken. You've got some battle scars. Sounds like the best type of person to me!
@whitestrokes
4 жыл бұрын
Yaaasss. 🙏
@lisamartonegomez9812
4 жыл бұрын
Elle, you are beautiful just the way you are❤️ I’m 53 and it took me 48 to figure out that it doesn’t matter what people think of me because it’s me and has always been me and just accept who I was! I told you before that I have a 21 yr old son who is non-gender binding but does like to be called a female name and has a full beard And I told him it would be easier if you just told me you were gay and he said “I’m not gay but I’m not masculine“ and I understand that and that’s society that tells us what our gender needs to be. I’m not feminine, I don’t wear make up, very rarely do I do my hair or wear girly things matter fact I hate the color pink but I’m very much female and never saw myself as anything but. I think with my kid and you is that it just takes time. Maybe not 48 yrs but you have to say”f@ck it” just move forward and don’t look back. Life is about learning and sometimes making mistakes but that’s ok ❤️❤️❤️
@chri_izs.1570
4 жыл бұрын
I‘m Ftm and i‘ve been transitioning for 8 yrs now.For me it was the right decision. I‘m just here to say i started watching your videos only today. To educate myself on the detransition topic. You‘re beautiful and you‘re so so brave for going thru all of this and being this honest to yourself.I can only imagine how hard that must have been or actually still is. Keep doing you, you are awesome and a beautiful young woman!
@hueenzo3447
4 жыл бұрын
You're perfect don't worry about others ❤️
@mrselfdestruct7605
4 жыл бұрын
I started to detransitioned 3 weeks ago after being on Testosterone for 3 years and being trans for 5 and having gotten top surgery last year. Thankfully I'm nonbinary/genderfluid/whatever the fuck I am so I'm not like completely unhappy with not being super femme, but I'm very very androgynous and have an incredibly masculine body even after doing a full body shave from my moustache to my toes, and sometimes it's also hard for me too. I don't usually feel too bad,but when I look at old photos of myself pre-transition and I cry and get insanely emotional,and feel like I'm not the same person and it hurts me. But I do know in my heart it will get better and that I will change shape and look over time, but for now I still get dirty looks when I wear women's clothes and makeup because I'm built like a highschool wrestler minus the muscles and have short hair and an androgynous voice. Currently the only female aspect of my body people can see is my massive ass, and I definitely would not be as happy as I am without my current partners support. I wish you luck on this journey,and since we're basically the same age and are only a year apart detransition wise I'll be on this journey with you,even if you don't know who I am. You're not alone during this 💗
@rachelbb2007
4 жыл бұрын
everyone be writing these long comments
@cynthiagee5496
4 жыл бұрын
You’re an amazing person. The reason your posts have gone viral is because you have insight beyond your years. Your struggle will be worth it because you have the power to help a lot of people. Not just detransitioners but others as well. Wishing you all the best.
@FeralRat
4 жыл бұрын
My first thought when I started this video was "wow, she's getting prettier and prettier". The voice too! It already sounds female again.
@moniquevanleeuwen6514
4 жыл бұрын
The struggles of this generation... I admire your complete honesty, it makes you a beautiful person inside and out!! God bless you! 🙏🏻🕊💕
@breannayn
4 жыл бұрын
This is so raw. Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings, and helping us understand you. I think that’s all any of us want, and why we all keep coming back. I have never met you and yet feel a connection to you, simply because of how beautifully you speak. Thank you for being Elle.
@TrishaMaybe
4 жыл бұрын
This hits me in my feels. When I was young I was convinced my body just straight up changed its mind on letting me continue to be female. I constantly had dreams my body was growing male genitals. I was teased in school, got called a boy or Half-man (play on my last name) because of my face, shoulders and competitive nature. I never felt comfortable acting feminine, but I knew I was a female. It took me so many years to stop seeing masculine features every single time I looked in the mirror and I was never on testosterone. I rarely wear makeup (though I love applying makeup for fun) and I wear "men's" shirts and I feel fine about it now because when I look in the mirror today I don't see myself that way anymore. I used to wish I could just be "normal" and like skirts and pink and other things the toy aisles made me think I was supposed to like. These days, I just see myself and sometimes I feel ugly and sometimes I feel pretty, but I don't see the masculine features anymore. I think it must have happened around the same time I stopped caring about other's perception of me.
@amyfox369
4 жыл бұрын
Elle, there’s a lot I want to say. First is that I saw you as a woman when I first saw your picture. As for your voice, there are famous actresses who had low voices- Lauren Bacall, Bea Arthur, the woman who played Murphy Brown (old tv show) You saw how powerful testosterone could be, don’t discount the power of estrogen. You may see enormous changes in the next few years as you saw with the testosterone. As you know your estrogen levels fluctuate during the month and on top of that your body is readjusting to being estrogen dominant again, so anxiety and depression can also be a side effect of all that. What I noticed over my years is that a woman’s body seems to change in some way about every 5 years. Look at this time as the beginning of your current 5 year phase. In my own case between 10 and 15 there was a big change, then 16-21 I Became an adult, 22-27 I had 2 children. 28-33 had a post baby body, a little chubby and bigger boobs. 34-39 physically not much change but mood and emotions started getting erratic because I was about to begin peri menopause. 40-45 pm is in full swing and I legit lost some of my marbles because estrogen was spiking up and crashing down with very little stable times. I didn’t get out of that til 51 and hurrah I’m in menopause. That’s not all fun and games either but at least I found my marbles 😊 I guess my point being we as women are always changing physically and mentally and emotionally. Embrace who you are and that you will continue to change as its part of who we are. You are absolutely beautiful and this too shall pass and you will continue to change and grow and evolve, that’s just what humans do. I wish you all the best ❤️
@janellmartin7066
4 жыл бұрын
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. ❤
@pamela2861
4 жыл бұрын
You’re seriously so pretty! I don’t want to push religion on anybody, but when things are confusing for me and life doesn’t make sense, God and his word always always brings me to level ground. Have you ever seeked his presence and his word? I can feel your energy here, babe. I’m praying for you. Please search “When Anxiety Attacks by Elevation Church” here on KZitem. I think you have a testimony. ❤️
@Roessling52
4 жыл бұрын
I stumbled across this video and I'm a tad confused. If taking male hormones for 3 years made you more masculine then won't quitting them bring you back to womanhood, why are you permanently altered? You are beautiful, end of story!
@courtneymurphy3012
4 жыл бұрын
Taking testosterone at a young age can cause changes that are not reversible, including changing your face shape, giving you a more prominent Adam’s apple, etc. Once these structures grow they do not usually change back, just like once you grow taller as a child your bones don’t shrink after your body stops producing growth hormones. Over time some of the less structural changes like thicker body hair, fat distribution, etc. can go back to a more typical female appearance.
@CocoAvalon
2 жыл бұрын
"I've evolved past the need for a transgender identity" - Powerful words! You are physically beautiful and your outlook on yourself is beautiful too! You seem like such an intelligent young woman. We (women) definitely accept you!
@isobel9427
4 жыл бұрын
You are so brave speaking about this. I wish you the very best and hope that each day things get even just a little bit better🌈 Binders and hormones are so risky and it's very saddening how teens on the internet are being groomed like this.
@sandibutler4877
4 жыл бұрын
You are a beautiful woman. You are still young. Do you know the Indigo Girls? One of their songs is actually just a great quote: "the less I search my source, the closer I am to fine". Sweety get out of your head. At least for a while. Go do something fun!! If I was younger I would totally be attracted to you. Whatever woman finds you will be so lucky to have such a beautiful, intelligent partner!!
@nattyicetea
4 жыл бұрын
this may be an odd question, but when you are thinking in your head, do you hear your current voice or your pre-transition voice?
@carolinekloppert5177
3 жыл бұрын
I think you are beautiful by the way. What you have been through has given you a view from a high place over the identities that the rest of us are trapped in down below. I wanted to do F2M transition ten years ago. I didn't. Having been through that and understanding that need a little, I can accept what you went through and identify, and I think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You were just searching, and you were brave enough to go to a very painful place. It was not stupid or reckless. You must have so much more understanding for people. with gender insecurities. What you have been through makes you more of a woman than someone who has never been through this, because you consciously have framed what being female is and that you want it. So many women are naturally masculine anyway, we're all a mix. I'm tall and big boned and I hated myself profoundly and thought I'd make a really handsome man and had to take a lot of contempt from men for not being feminine. I was born this way, but it somehow doesn't absolve me of guilt. Its taken a long long time to accept. I'm sixty now. You have been through so much. Your self concept must be so developed for someone your age. This may stand you in very good stead at finding your direction for the rest of your life.
@tamara2521
4 жыл бұрын
So much love to you. As you talk about half the month your good have your not...track your monthly cycle. It's very eye opening. I call it an up and down cycle. Two weeks before menstruation is my down cycle. I am moody and harder on myself...the 2 weeks after (when were fertile) is when the up cycle happy go lucky is there. It will help to know its ur up and down normal hormone cycle :)
@cwonderland6259
4 жыл бұрын
To be fair, nobody will ever look like their 15-year-old self again, and most women look back at their teen self and feel regret over how critical they were of their looks as a teen. Your face changes a lot from 15-20 and from your twenties to your thirties. You mentioned in another video that your face will always look more masculine than your teen self, but I feel like that is true of many cis women as well. Because our culture sees "masculine" as stronger/harsher features and "feminine" as soft, round, baby-like features. Especially after having kids, a woman's face doesn't stay soft and full like it was as a teen. When I see before and after of people who have feminization surgeries, I always think there are so many cis women who also have these supposed 'masculine' features and it's silly and harmful to call stronger or heavier features manly. There are women who have bodies that naturally are not very curvy and have no hips and a wider torso. That's a normal way for plenty of women to look.
@foxwoodjones9831
3 жыл бұрын
I know you have some regret about your voice changing (you’ve mentioned this in other videos). But I just want to tell you how nice & pleasant your voice sounds to me. It’s So nice! Hope you’re doing better and better these days!
@sphynxymind2581
4 жыл бұрын
You be whoever you wanna be 🖤 people will find things to comment about wether you are cis, trans, or a tree:))) the most important thing is how you feel with yourself, don t let others looks and opinnions affect you please, Ik it is not easy, but as you said, effort and time help so much🖤
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