Also one of Emily’s issues is that she’d do anything for Lorelai, except listen to her and accept her. People call Lorelai ungrateful, but I often think, “do you know how unhappy a 16-year-old has to be to choose poverty over a mansion?” It’s telling that when Lorelai’s giving birth to Rory, Emily centers her own hurt feelings about not being invited to be there over Lorelai’s well-being. Lorelai doesn’t feel safe being vulnerable around Emily and instead of thinking about why Emily chooses to berate her while she’s in labor.
@danika9411
9 ай бұрын
Agreed! People who call Lorelai ungrateful underestimate how much it hurts to feel like you can't do anything right, you behave wrong, your personality is wrong, you like the wrong things and you are just never good enough. And then not even being able to talk about it openly in a way that you feel heard or seen. At one point you give up on having a relationship with your parent. That happens in real life as well. It's actually quiet realistic that Lorelai cut Emily off, especially after she had a daughter. She did it, because she was probably hurting her whole life. Nice things you can buy can't make up for that. Only an honest apology and taking accountability could. Some people don't seem to understand that.
@MR-hu3ht
9 ай бұрын
Agree completely. Emily never gave Lorelei unconditional love. If there is one thing we should receive from our parents, it is that. Everything with Emily came with strings attached. Re-watching the show as an adult, Lorelei makes so much more sense. She had an emotionally abusive childhood and in some ways was in arrested development as an adult. It makes a lot of sense why she is the way she is and why she raised Rory the way she did.
@VioletEmerald
9 ай бұрын
@MR-hu3ht and it made sense all along watching it as a kid too if you grew up with a narcissistic and abusive mother 🔥
@RenaissanceRockerBoy
9 ай бұрын
Emily was definitely a bad mother, but Lorelai didn’t work on any of her issues and instead also became a terrible mother with zero boundaries, who never taught Rory how to be responsible. Instead Rory had to grow up being parentified by a mother who acted like a petulant teenage girl who desperately wanted to be cool, not realizing that acting like the opposite of her own mother didn’t necessarily make her a good mother.
@patriciapendlbury2603
9 ай бұрын
Lorelai is a brat, a confrontational brat a rebellious brat, emotionally immature, excessively stupid when dating and the list goes on
@christineroth1263
9 ай бұрын
I love the episode where Lorelai is in a fight with her ex, at her wit's end and Emily goes full out Lioness and kicks him out, never raising her voice nor missing a beat. She has her daughter's back when need be.
@jdg9825
9 ай бұрын
Also when she gives Logan's mother a savage verbal teardown all the while retaining her composure with a smile on her face haha
@christineroth1263
9 ай бұрын
@@jdg9825 Oh yeah, that was brilliant, too.
@marlyd
9 ай бұрын
To then enlist him as her flying monkey to actively ruin her daughter's relationship at the vow renewal
@StaceyS1105
9 ай бұрын
That one with Sheera was the one!
@jenk7197
8 ай бұрын
Christopher Hayden 🤢 he hurt Lorelai and Rory too many times. I was so happy when Luke punched him right in the face 👊
@RavenTheTrickster
9 ай бұрын
The elderly woman was Emily’s mother-in-law, but I can only assume her mother was similar in attitude and expectations.
@KnilchTV
9 ай бұрын
Jono calling it as a sunday dinner relationship and describing Emily as a dictator when Lorelai compared her mother to Stalin once is scarily accurate
@AlannaKathy
9 ай бұрын
She’s so complex, I hated her when I was a kid but have some empathy for her now I’m an adult. That older lady isn’t her mum, it’s her mum-in-law who doesn’t think she’s good enough!
@kathrynweber9524
9 ай бұрын
Everyone has covered a lot, but one thing I think is important is that Emily is also very intelligent and would have been an excellent entrepreneur among other things, and raised in a time period and class that being a brilliant wife and household manager was the only avenue to pursue that would be socially acceptable. I'm reading more into the subtexts here, but I think that Emily feels undervalued for all of the accomplishments she had in the traditional realm (which includes for her running charity committees as well as the wife and mother bits), holds to those traditional standards just a bit more firmly because she didn't have other opportunities to exhibit her talents and skills, but also a little jealous that her daughter would have had a wider variety of opportunities (Lorelei could have gone to Harvard instead of a sister college, unlike Emily is just one example) and she Lorelei neither seemed to value Emily's route to social acceptability, nor did she appear to (for a while, at least) embrace the newer roles that women of her class and generation could have taken--entering finance or insurance and following her father's footsteps, for example.
@Nasuada15
9 ай бұрын
You're absolutely right! I literally have nothing to add lol.
@VioletEmerald
9 ай бұрын
Interesting perspective. I find it hard to be that sympathetic to a narcissistic character who reminds me too much of my own abusive mother though.
@geeky_sasha6813
9 ай бұрын
That’s a good point, late in the series, I believe Emily might have been a bit tipsy or high and Lorelei is helping her with some financial thing, and Emily comments on how maybe it’s ok for a woman to forge her own path and do her own thing, she borders on praising Lorelei for her competence and independence doing these nontraditional things, while in her upbringing, a woman doing these things or a marriage ending was a bad thing, because it meant ‘the system failed’. Of course, the next day she ruins it by being disappointed in Lorelei again. 😂
@dumpster_fire_sloth
9 ай бұрын
Please please please do more videos about Gilmore girls!
@voyance4elle
9 ай бұрын
yesssss I subscribe to that
@ceceliam9014
9 ай бұрын
I actually love Emily. As maddening as it is to have someone in your life like that (especially a parent), i think Emily cares deeply about the people she loves and genuinely wants the best for them, she just can't get past assuming she always knows best, and will shoot herself in the foot trying to develop the closeness she wants with people all the time by being wholly incapable of vulnerability, and you can see the pain it causes her but she just doesn't know how to express herself any other way. That being said, while we don't get to meet her parents or see where she came from, the impression that she didn't have people who really were there for her and that she feels she needs to prove something to be worthy is also a definite undertone in her way of being- so while part of it is that she cares about her loved ones and wants what's best for them, part of it is also the ego/image of doing things "right" (contrastingly she can also be someone who digs her heels in on her principles and fights caring about what anyone thinks of her or her family). So I think you were exactly right that it's both. It's interesting to see the motivation of closeness with her family combine with a person who doesn't know how to maintain closeness aside from forcing it, which creates more distance that she doesn't know why she can't fix. Ultimately a comedic, fairly light show, but some great characters and interesting relationship dynamics for sure. Also, this video might offer a window into a fuller side of Emily Gilmore (the woman who "raised" Lorelei and Rory when Lorelei left is the same person in the different clips, but a different actress) kzitem.info/news/bejne/mqWZnYqno3mGd5gsi=jFRBhKly-9yFgS9U
@bunnyincloudrecesses9590
9 ай бұрын
Agree with all of this! 💖
@Jade_Deja
9 ай бұрын
The older I get, the more I like her (37 yo now)😊
@NatManzano
Ай бұрын
If you had had a mother like Emily, you would have more opinions about her character. I agree that she is written really well and fantastically portrayed by the actor. But Lorelai was running for her life and for Rory's freedom.
@ceceliam9014
Ай бұрын
@@NatManzano I mean, there are a lot of things about Emily that remind me of my mother. And I have lots of opinions about her. Many more than I could fit in a KZitem comment, even as long as mine was. It might be a good rule of thumb moving forward to not assume you know someone's experience. Emily is dynamic, so maybe you are saying that there are aspects you relate to that were more difficult to go through, and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
@NatManzano
Ай бұрын
@@ceceliam9014 I was mistaking your surfice for all of your thoughts. I apologise for that. I am Spanish and we express all of our opinion openly even if it is negative as a way to show others that we respect them because we think they can take it and then give us their truth. But this is more like an anglosaxon "say something positive", which I think is cool. But again, I would not use the word "dynamic" for Emily, since: 1. dynamic is something that moves, and Emily spends 45 years not moving from her position with a fury. 2. Dynamic does not have a lot of meaning as a word. If you use a different one I think I will understand better.
@jordanNCM
9 ай бұрын
I love Gilmore! Some context missing, the older woman Emily calls "mom" is her mother in law who is highly critical and dismissive of her. Lorelai had Rory at 16 and moved out of her parents house taking Rory with her the next year working as a maid to support them. They had very little contact or involvement until Rory got into a private prep school and Lorelai had to ask her parents help to pay tuition and Emily set up a Friday night dinner agreement before she would agree to pay. So much else is revealed in the show over many seasons and I hope you do react to the series I would love to hear your opinions on several characters!
@Authorrlee
9 ай бұрын
This is has been my “stand by” / “go to” show since I was a teen. I am so happy you are covering it as Emily & Richard [the grandfather] are carbon copies of my own, down to my grandfather being retired from the insurance business. I had the Lorelai relationship with them and my older sister had the Rory relationship. So I know I will be eagerly awaiting more GG themed episodes!! 😍❤️
@well-dressed-bird
9 ай бұрын
The dialog of this show is so much fun. Written in a way that brings everyone's character to life in such a unique way. The most sarcastic educated people of all time. It's like a small town of Frasier Craines. I love it.
@GwenGirly
9 ай бұрын
There's another therapist that analyzes all the scenes of Gilmore Girls, Heather Thom Counselling and I love her in depth videos and explanations in case anyone else is a huge of a GG fan like I am!
@amywinchester727
9 ай бұрын
YES! THIS! I follow her channel too and it's awesome!
@strngenchantedgirl
9 ай бұрын
Oh my lord Jonathon. I’m so excited for you to therapize this show. The more you watch it the more you realize how messed up a lot of stuff is on the show. I’m at the point where I used to think how great Lorelei and Rory’s relationship is and now I think Lorelei really messed up Rory. Can’t wait for your take.
@elye0987
9 ай бұрын
👏 Yes. its obvious the Emily Lorelei relationship is messed up, but the Lorelei Rory relationship is normalized but it's pretty unhealthy and codependent.
@melissab3217
9 ай бұрын
Thank you! Lorelei's codependency and constant hurting people (using the excuse of her trauma) infuriates me.
@reneeg4817
8 ай бұрын
I don't think that at all. Lorelei was running away from the life of luxury. And Rory embraced it. Logan was bad for her. Her grandparents didn't help either.
@OrionOlamPiksie
9 ай бұрын
This particular character- we never see her mother or father- just Richard’s mother mostly. Three times and three different actresses I believe. Much appreciated! Thank you for this!
@SeArquiteteMininu
9 ай бұрын
It was two actresses, actually. But even better, the first one returned later as Emily's MIL's sister at MIL's funeral, and was highly entertaining!
@VioletEmerald
9 ай бұрын
@@SeArquiteteMininumultiple actresses? I never realized that!
@SeArquiteteMininu
9 ай бұрын
@@VioletEmerald that's alrighty I didn't either. I only noticed when I read on a fan page. Then I paid attention. Lol
@OrionOlamPiksie
9 ай бұрын
@@SeArquiteteMininu oh yeah- that. 😂🤗 thank you
@Tinydancer111
9 ай бұрын
Marion Ross was the only actress to play Richard's mother.
@natyc19
9 ай бұрын
yay! I've been waiting for this episode
@louisemalloy7540
9 ай бұрын
I hope you do a video on Lorelai and her parenting of Rory. She's a bit of a mess but shes also very relatable.
@meriksen_
9 ай бұрын
Wow! I don't know that I expected much depth from this video but I watched it anyway. I could not love your words more! I have watched this show at least 10 times fully all the way through since beginning it!!! Emily is infuriating... But you can see that she does love her family. You want a smacker and you want to yell at her and put her in her place so many times. But she does care. I can't believe you have so much depth when you answered something from such a small perspective! I just subscribed because I can't wait to hear more ❤️🙌💕
@annaathey8827
9 ай бұрын
Lorelei does in fact have a “Friday night dinner“ relationship with her mother. Also, the woman that Emily called mom in the video you watched, that’s her mother-in-law! You should definitely watch an episode with Richard’s mother in it. So much for you to unpack there about Emily specifically. Once you start watching the show in Ernest, I’m sure you’ll agree that every single episode is just chalk full of emotional baggage for a therapist like you to absorb, dissect, and attempt to treat. There’s even an episode in the year in a life spinoff where Lorelei finally goes to therapy! It doesn’t end well
@TNothingFree
9 ай бұрын
Absolute true , I wish I knew this before. I had to cut off family members because of their very toxic behavior and not respecting my boundaries. before that all I could think of is "Why are they acting like this, do they know the only thing they hurt is the relationship between us? I won't keep talking with them forever". Best decision of my life, why didn't I do that 5 years ago.
@jenbialek
9 ай бұрын
Emily is a villain. I have had to go No Contact with mine due to absolute refusal to acknowledge boundaries. Kelly Bishop's performance (the original Sheila from Chorus Line Broadway and Baby's mom in Dirty Dancing) is so fantastic in this role that people get confused I feel. Kelly herself has several interviews where she states she does not understand the love for her character
@MR-hu3ht
9 ай бұрын
I agree. Emily is a horrible woman. Elitist who treats the "help" atrociously. Awful mother. It really was because of Kelly Bishop's performance that anyone enjoys her. I also think people like her cutting remarks and wish they were as quick witted.
@loiracitr
8 ай бұрын
Rory is too spoiled ans entitled to go no contact with the wealthy relatives
@reneelamarca3583
9 ай бұрын
Elder Gilmore (Lorelai/Trix) is actually Richard Gilmore’s mother-Emily’s mother-in-law.
@tweetthang96
8 ай бұрын
I love Gilmore Girls. There’s a lot of realness there - a father who’s more focused on work than connecting with his family, a mother who’s more focused on Keeping Up Appearances and showing that they’re As Good As everyone else in their circle, a daughter who ended up parentifying her own child because she didn’t know how else to stand up to her overbearing mother beyond running away, and a granddaughter who is horrifically dis-served by all of the adults in her life treating her like The Most Special Girl Ever. Which makes me angry? Rory as a person has such potential, but she’s stunted by the privilege no one teaches her to check, and by the way no one teaches her she might not instantly succeed at things she wants. I knew families and people like that. And it blew up as spectacularly for them as it does for the Gilmore Girls.
@origamikiddo2625
9 ай бұрын
9:34 saving and writing this down... connecting to my real and raw emotions when dealing with certain people and how to clearly phrase it and communicating my boundaries and consequences. How they chose to respond is not in my control and not up to me. This is so valuable and I will be sharing with friends. Thanks!
@GabrielaCoutinho12
9 ай бұрын
I just love Emily with all my heart
@hunt_er92
9 ай бұрын
This is exactly my situation. however putting the distance between us both in time and place has not helped and there is no change in terms of looking in the mirror instead of pushing it back on me. I gave up on a great mother-son relationship years ago and its so sad as I'd love to have a nice relationship with her but she had made it impossible as even a few minutes of talking ends with me feeling awful. little digs build up over time.
@luumoo7244
9 ай бұрын
ive waited for this video for soooo long, thank you :D
@floragoodfairy168
9 ай бұрын
I look forward to more on Gilmore Girls, trust me when I say there's plenty of meat there. The pilot alone is a smorgasbord for commentary.
@EEVictory13
9 ай бұрын
Lol. Literally in the middle of a Gilmore girls binge.
@sadfaerie5817
9 ай бұрын
How much of Emily you got just from watching clips of her.😮 This is why i watch your videos.
@geeky_sasha6813
9 ай бұрын
OMG, I was just re-watching Gilmore Girls and thinking you should react to and therapize it. I wish you'd had a whole scene to react to instead of just a supercut. With Emily, it's really both that she cares about appearances, but also thinks that her way is the right way and so wants that for her daughter. She meddles and causes serious problems for her daughter and her main love interest because he doesn't meet the pedigree that Emily expects, even though the viewer sees him as the kind of partner a parent should dream of. Throughout the show it becomes clear that she deeply loves her daughter, but doesn't know how to show it, she shows it by giving gifts or being controlling. When her daughter or granddaughter doesn't make the choices she wants them to, she takes it as a rejection of her personally. I'd love to see you analyze a full scene of Emily and Lorelei, what's clear to me having watched the show is that part of their difficulty in their relationship is that they are similar, they're both very acerbic, witty, stubborn and proud. Occasionally we see Emily receive feedback after her daughter has stepped up to be conciliatory first, but she rarely ever apologizes.
@FysSessions
9 ай бұрын
I have a Sunday-Dinner-Relationship with my dad. To me is the saddest and most painful thing i have to live with.
@MitchieShellyChelxD
9 ай бұрын
I was waiting for you to show the clip where Emily saw where Lorelai stayed after she left home.
@silverlining7112
9 ай бұрын
That episode is one of my favourites. Beautifully acted.
@stepfaniegonzalez7905
9 ай бұрын
Another youtuber that has a series not only about Gilmore Girls, but a series about Emily Gilmore is Kierra Loves TV! She has several comprehensive videos talking about Emily and her relationship with Lorelei. And she talks about Emily in every season!
@caesar98
8 ай бұрын
My mum is like Emily. Critiques everything and everyone but if she's ever questioned or critiqued herself hell breaks loose. Her catchphrase growing up was screaming "isn't it so?!" (eller hur?!) when grossly misinterpretating a situation to fit into her views. It's very hurtful and hard to deal with and we actually watched Gilmore girls together and ofc Emily was her favourite
@liliebilie
7 ай бұрын
I always tell people my mom is a combination of Emily Gilmore and Mrs Bennett from Pride and Prejudice
@not-a-ghost2206
9 ай бұрын
People that are saying emily wasnt that bad not only ignore the mental abuse lorelai went through, but also the intention of kelly bishop. She WANTED her character to be insufferable and mean with no excuses for that kind of behaviour.
@NortherlyK
8 ай бұрын
I'm subscribing for Gilmore Girls analysis.
@MendedLight
8 ай бұрын
More coming, starting today!
@tinesess3521
9 ай бұрын
More Iike a Friday night dinner relationship lol 😅😂
@eyes_espresso4803
9 ай бұрын
There are definitely better clips out there that illustrate how Emily sees interactions with her family as transactional, and just how much she resents Lorelai for being pregnant as a teenager. She spends the REST of Rory's existence trying to rebuild what she thinks is a destroyed reputation. I believe she even tells Rory at one point that she was the catalyst of Lorelai's "downfall." She's resentful over everything, and didn't want to accept that she was raising a normal teenager.
@amyschneidhorst1384
9 ай бұрын
I will borrow your succinct analysis to help explain to my classes the importance of personal power messages. Too often we hope the right words wil! change the behavior of the person we clash with, and it is hard to shift perspectives to see the power in modeling and asserting our feelings and truth regardless of how that person receives it. Thanks for helping me clarify that.
@devilonyourshoulder8845
9 ай бұрын
Lorelei is very much Emily’s daughter. They are both stubborn, proud, and convinced that they are the ones in the right. What I also got from watching the show is that both of them loves the other, but reaching out and trying to reconcile is a sign of weakness, so that is off the table no matter what, more so with Lorelei than Emily. How each of them treat Rory’s decisions/opportunities (which schools she wants to go to, boys she dates, etc.) is a big indicator of, while they both love and want the best for her, how different their world views can be, and they go to war through trying to influence how Rory lives her life, to the detriment and frustration of their daughter/granddaughter. It’s a very entertaining show, with great dialogue and the actor’s performances are top notch
@joyejohnsonauthor
9 ай бұрын
Watch seasons 1-3, then skip to seven and the reboot. What made the show great was its focus on the Emily-Lorelai-Rory dynamic, but then it went lowest denominator love-triangle which-boy-do-I-want silliness for both Rory and Lorelai. The true will-they-or-won't-they was with Lorelai and Emily--will they ever understand each other? They come back to it in the reboot, but during the show it took a serious nose-dive. Emily wound up being my favorite character, with Babette a close second :))))
@terynjacobus8733
9 ай бұрын
There was at one point you said “That must be her mom”, when in fact, that is her MIL. Referring to the mean mom aka Emily and Trix. Coincidentally, she is one of the few who can dish it to this woman. (Personally, I think that’s bc Trix admires a good work ethic and Emily is mean to her staff.) I recently reviewed someone’s input on how having your daughter named after your mean MIL may mentally affect a person.
@cassieosbourne7666
9 ай бұрын
Or a Friday night dinner
@nirakhurana
8 ай бұрын
Wish you could watch the show and explain Rory and how bad they developed her character from a therapist's perspective. The whole leaving Yale and then going back bothers me, cause she leaves cause for the first time someone doesn't praise her, she loses her way after and then decides to go back to school cause she doesn't want to keep living with her grandparents (not cause she had a breakthrough about herself, her career, etc). They developed the character so bad at the end.
@MendedLight
8 ай бұрын
I'm planning on doing the whole series :)
@victoriaortega3850
9 ай бұрын
Yes please watch the show that's kinda how it all starts she didn't have a relationship with her parents and that's where it begins
@Back2Humanity
9 ай бұрын
I have paused it at 13 seconds and really wanna know if you think I'm right... the gilmore girls is basically a show detailing what undiagnosed adhd can do to a family and burn through multiple generations
@patrickmuller7334
8 ай бұрын
Let me see. It's been a while, but I find your estimation pretty accurate. Emily is extremely strict and inflexible in her views, unwilling to see other people's perspective and gets extremely defensive when criticized herself. The older woman is actually her mother-in-law, and the funny but also frustrating part is that she receives exact the same treatment from her she gives her daughter and granddaughter, constantly complains about it to their faces, but never sees the parallels. I remember getting so frustrated with her watching the show, at some point I wanted to scream at her. "your mother-in-law changing your furniture without consulting you is bad, absolutely! Remember when you changed your daughter's furniture without consulting her about a year ago? Remember how you always felt yourself in the right about it? Just like your mother-in-law now?" But yeah, especially Loreley withdrew from their house and her grandparents' lifes at age 16 and the only reason she starts talking to them is because she needs their financial aid for her daughter's education. The deal from episode on is one family dinner a week in exchange for the tuition fees. What makes it more complex is that the daughter hasn't had Loreley's experiences growing up, she is more bookish and reserved than her free-spirited mother, probably because she grew up with far more freedom and less need to break out, so to speak, so she often sees her grandparents in a much more positive light than her mother. If course, as the series progressed Rory changed from a perfect prodigy to more of a self-centered brat, throwing caution and reason into the wind, messing things up. But I have no idea where that came from, and if it was even consistent character development and not just the writers messing up...
@jessicaulmer2323
9 ай бұрын
Thank you!! This helps!! ❤
@itsrosebennett
9 ай бұрын
Please do The Crown!
@WabiSabi248
9 ай бұрын
What do you do when you lay out the reasons for your boundary and they demand I prove my reasoning? “When did I do that?” “I’m not sarcastic” “I was kidding!” “What are you talking about?!” “I’m not snide”
@adelinaayulestari2795
9 ай бұрын
Omg you have to react to scenes where Emily and Lorelai got into arguments!
@raenorton7709
9 ай бұрын
YEEEESSSSSS Gilmore Girls!!!
@zaynahmahmud9834
7 ай бұрын
My mother is always gaslighting the situation with me because she reckons I am in need of her advice. It’s so frustrating and frightening to some people around me. They see me as a child adult instead of a person who is smart and mature and confident. Then there is my boyfriend who prefers to be the superior authority. He doesn’t like certain perspectives about me. Mom and boyfriend are not compatible with each other. Henceforth I decided to take the plunge into deep end of attachment ocean. No kids. No relationship. No marriage.
@katieturner6685
9 ай бұрын
Please react to arrested development xx such complex family dynamics ❤
@Gardenbee8
8 ай бұрын
Emily is a white version of my Indian mum. So concerned by looks. She asked me to ask my oncologist and other cancer related Dr's, when will my skin colour go back to its former fairness? Her obsession for appearance has no limits
@mocat1
9 ай бұрын
When I talk about my Mum’s mother, I will ask, whoever I’m talking to if they know who Emily Gilmore is, and if they say “yes”, I tell them that my grandmother was a cross between Emily Gilmore and Megabeast from Drop Dead Fred. So many times I’d be watching Gilmore Girls with my Mum, and she would just quietly leave the room, and I would nearly fall out of the chair, because of how freakishly similar Emily’s reactions to Lorelai and Rory were to my grandmother. Two of the main things that kept me going: this too, shall pass At least my Mum was adopted after she had spent her first 5 years with her bio mother, and I never knew a time before my Mum reconnected with her birth family, who were all ❤️.
@AZV-ev5pn
9 ай бұрын
Emily is so terrible in so many ways, yet also has real moments of sympathy. Very complex character.....actually several of them are, which probably is what helps make the show timeless.
@Punklian88
8 ай бұрын
my mum is exactly like emily minus the money. it was a nightmare growing up
@kellydiogo8356
Ай бұрын
Same with my parents
@anyaroz8619
9 ай бұрын
Emily is over the top obnoxious and harsh with her daughter. Also, as a person she is too hung up on rules and appearances. I guess this is a classic generational clash with mutual disdain of two people who disagree on pretty much everything. Their main issue is lack of trust. They almost expect to be misunderstood and misinterpreted and they both can't see each other's motives or intensions. There is a lot of hurt there. Emily is holding a grudge against Lorelei for running away as a teen and having a child very early thus ruining her educational and career prospects. Lorelei, on the other hand, puts a lot of blame on Emily for not helping out financially and basically withdrawing all support in response to this "betrayal". Emily is waiting for Lorelei to admit that her choice was a bad choice. But Lorelei is too proud to acknowledge betraying her mother's trust back when she ran away. I feel for both of them. It's frustrating and sad that they can't reconcile
@lilianabatistafernandes43
8 ай бұрын
I was really looking forward to this video but the cut that was provided for you to comment was really poor (sorry for the people who worked on it). I hope we get the chance to see you comment on a more substantial scene because your insights are usually very interesting :)
@MendedLight
8 ай бұрын
Season-by-season reaction coming up!
@lilianabatistafernandes43
8 ай бұрын
Yeay! :D
@melissag4869
9 ай бұрын
Despite being controlling. I think Emily also tries to control he daughter because of fear. She’s traumatized from losing her daughter. Lorelei had her reasons for running away, but I can’t imagine what that does to a parent.
@therealdasina
9 ай бұрын
In one episode Emily is jealous of Lorelei and Rory’s relationship. She says that she didn’t learn to be her daughters friend, things were different when she brought Lorelei up. I think this is very true for these generations (but also Lorelei is not the greatest of mothers in some ways..), so many people never learned or thought about treating their child as actual individuals. They see them (still today so often) as little puppets that you can form and move in your own sense. And this leads over and over to parents being upset and children feeling unseen and not understood, let alone respected for who they actually are. Emily can not grasp that her daughter is different from what she pictured and should be able to make her own decisions and live her own life. There are many more scenes which weren’t covered here because they are part of more complex storylines I guess, where we can witness Emily manipulating and gaslighting the people around her, especially Lorelei, into doing what she wants or saying what she wants to hear. Scenes where she literally admits that she wanted to "win". That says it all.. I focused on this aspect but of course her character is also funny, smart, loyal and many more things.
@adorebee9447
9 ай бұрын
Him calling this a 'Sunday Dinner Relationship' with no context is insaane! Good therapy instincts ig
@crazy4beatles
8 ай бұрын
He was literally off by only 2 days! 😅 incredible
@bacr29
8 ай бұрын
My thoughts exactly! I was impressed by how quickly he pegged Emily with little to no context!
@zsid3
8 ай бұрын
I was thinking the same thing!!!
@JulietteLatte
8 ай бұрын
I was looking for this comment because how crazy was that 😂
@paulap2480
7 ай бұрын
i love it when therapists do that lmao
@MelissaOdell-p7e
9 ай бұрын
I think Emily was always worried that she wasn't good enough for Richard. (See episodes with Trix.) She wanted to make everything, including Lorelei, perfect and appropriate for Richard. That's why she loosens up so much after he dies.
@daykibaran9668
9 ай бұрын
Oh yes I thought the same
@jenbialek
9 ай бұрын
Spoilers!
@aflanz2235
9 ай бұрын
@@jenbialek you're a little late for that to be considered a spoiler
@_adrian_sean
9 ай бұрын
Also she's a a baby boomer. She came from the last generation that was raised to be a housewife. It wasn't just about being good enough for Richard but everybody. Her only job was to make a home and keep up with appearances
@susan3155
9 ай бұрын
I have never considered that. Interesting point. 😊
@lelannazalee2730
9 ай бұрын
They literally have a Friday night dinner relationship. lol The weekly dinners were the condition for Rory to get their help with school tuition.
@genevievebroun291
9 ай бұрын
I did laugh at the comment about the weekly dinners, like, ah yes, that is a central theme throughout the entire show hahahaha.
@ajlee4296
9 ай бұрын
The fact that he said that while knowing nothing about Gilmore girls was hilarious 😂
@KxNOxUTA
9 ай бұрын
You know you're doing a poor job at relationships, when you need to basically financially bribe and blackmail a person for sth. as "simple" as occasional visits.
@katherinetomasello3661
9 ай бұрын
Just like Emily's "love" it's conditional
@AlejandraGarcia-yj5hc
9 ай бұрын
I was looking for this comment!
@ilios9404
9 ай бұрын
Lorelai’s trauma is always overlooked because she comes from a rich family. I believe that Lorelai has been neglected and emotionally abused and I would love for you to analyze it since I feel like people would start to see it if a therapist analyzes it.
@not-a-ghost2206
9 ай бұрын
Yes this! People who critise her for being ungrateful or "oh I have to sit one week with my parents for dinner in a huge ass mansion" clearly don't have experience with manipulative people and I am glad for them. However if you have experienced this behaviour as a child you totally get lorelai. I see myself a lot in her and my therapist suggested that it's not about being vulnerable and honest in that kind of family. It's only about hierarchy and being right. So talking about facts doesn't work, which lorelai tends to do despite her rambling. The only thing that works is protecting yourself. People with happy family's don't have to do that and they can't truly understand if you have to.
@vintagelittleone
9 ай бұрын
I agree! It's always just pointed that Lorelai is "childish" or "immature". Then again, Lorelai has stunted growth and had to become an adult so young. If we add in the context of Emily and her lack of true care for Lorelai, we can deduct that Lorelai has been raising herself and growing up too fast for awhile, even before Rory was born.
@koalaeucalyptus
9 ай бұрын
@@not-a-ghost2206 honestly, I didn't have that kind of abuse in my life, but always understood where Lorelai was coming from. If it were simple 'ungratefulness', she wouldn't have tolerated the poverty-stricken life, she would have returned, tucked tail and all. The fact that she remained away, and didn't know how to establish bundaries with Rory, speaks volumes.
@emiymason8225
8 ай бұрын
Exactly Just because you come from a wealthy family does not mean you can't have trama In fact the reason although I am not saying this happens in only in wealthy families In the U S minors are allowed to seek treatment Counseling .consultation etc .for issues pertaining to mental health Substance use .and birth control and other reproductive services without parental consent or knowledge for the last 30 ish years Due to stigma Wanting to keep up appearences etc Parents were not getting and still are not getting the help they need my Apparently the minimum age and perhaps the Spesifics vary from state to state .this is a FEDERAL Law
@thirstwithoutborders995
8 ай бұрын
I have an aunt who is like Emily, and every dinner or visit with her feels like walking on eggshells and then you need three days to recover your mental health to the state it was before, feeling like you are an okay person, that is. It is just a barrage of open criticism, subtle digs and body language... not the way you want to spend every weekend for sure.
@ToniRichter11
9 ай бұрын
I can’t wait for a full GG analysis. You’re correct about her though; it’s both her upbringing and her misguided efforts to love her daughter. Shes so complex. The older woman is actually her mother in law. As a teen I loved the mother daughter relationship between Rory and Lorelai and hated Emily and Richard. Now, I see them as misguided, distant and elitist, all the while loving their family. Now being an adult and therapist, I see lorelai and Rory’s relationship differently and mostly one I wouldn’t try to emulate. It’s so well written with a lot of great themes about inter generational wounds, fathers, and mothers
@clipsforme-kr2xb
9 ай бұрын
Yes, absolutely this
@leza4453
9 ай бұрын
What is the problem with Lorelai and Rorys relationship? I had the impression that Lorelai was strict and guiding when it was important, but chill and open when it was not.
@AngeliqueJuliette
9 ай бұрын
@leza4453 I think it's the thing about Lorelai always putting Rory on a pedestal as this little well behaved studious angel, (Richard and Emily also do that with her) and how that feeds into Rory's ego kind of. And how everyone on the show thinks that Rory can do no wrong ever, even though at times she didn't treat Lane the best. I mean there's a list of things but there are videos about Rory being the absolute worst a lot of times.
@Shg203
9 ай бұрын
Lorelai and Rory have something like a co depedent relationship (I'm not a therapist so I don't want to diagnose it...) Whereas Emily and Lorelei are inappropriately formal and distant, Lorelei and Rory are inappropriately close, probably out of Loreilei's being wounded about mother daughter relationships.
@pamsimmer
7 ай бұрын
OMG thank you for this! I always see people loving rory and lorelai relationship and I think it's not the way to go.
@rubysmolen5155
9 ай бұрын
I suggest watching the whole show. she is both a sympathetic character but she is also narcisistic and gaslights/ manipulates her family a lot- mainly loreali and Rory. the content creator Kiera loves tv has done a whole series on the show - she's in the middle right now looking at the characters but especially on Emily and her narcissism and manipulation/abuse actions while also looking at the sympathetic side of her character it's great .
@CJWMTownsend
9 ай бұрын
Nice! Could you put in a link so I can check it out?
@@CJWMTownsendI watch Kiera’s channel too and I think this is the first video of her Emily analysis series: kzitem.info/news/bejne/qoCqrKR4nYanoKgsi=jztyxBnnLtWVwhyR I hope this helps!
@alyzu4755
9 ай бұрын
LOVE her analysis!
@rubysmolen5155
9 ай бұрын
@@alyzu4755 me too!
@voyance4elle
9 ай бұрын
The older lady is actually Richard's (her husband) mother who is judging her, looking down on her bullying her constantly. Her own parents don't appear in the series, but it's a very interesting dynamic when we as viewers see her suddenly being treated similar to how she treats most people. Richard basically married his mother 😅
@livialimaastrologia
9 ай бұрын
I believe Emily was constantly under Trixie's shadow. She had to be that way because Richard had that mother. She had to fill up Trixie' shoes. Plus, she basically stole Richard from his girlfriend, she had to show him she was the perfect woman so he would never regret choosing her and decide to leave her (and the standard for a perfect woman was Trixie). Also, she came from a rich family too, she was probably raised loveless, like she raised Lorelai - it was the common way of raising a child, specially in wealthier families. We see in the sequel series that after Richard died, she turned into a much more loose and sensible person. She moves to a beach house, start wearing jeans... 😂 She even agrees to go to therapy with Lorelai! She wants to be a better person and make emends. That's why I think Trixie and Richard were what made her worse.
@voyance4elle
9 ай бұрын
@@livialimaastrologia so true!:)
@owl4260
7 күн бұрын
In the beginning, I got confused because Emily calls Trix "mom" 😅
@singinwithceline
9 ай бұрын
When I first watched the show, I read Emily as emotionally and verbally abusive. Her love comes with conditions. She holds her granddaughter’s EDUCATION hostage in exchange for FORCING interactions with her family. Her 18 year old daughter chose white knuckling it and poverty and building her own family with her daughter (Rory) over generational wealth and living in a mansion. That alone speaks volumes about what Lorelei must’ve experienced.
@sierrakay255
7 ай бұрын
I feel like holding it hostage is such an intense phrase. I saw it as Emily being so desperate to bring her family back together that she did what she had to. Was it unpleasant at times? Yes. But it brought them back together and once her “debt” was paid, they still came around. So even though it wasn’t the best way to go about it, she saw an opportunity to get her daughter and granddaughter back in her life, and she jumped at the chance.
@mausilw
2 ай бұрын
@@sierrakay255it’s not intense, it’s accurate. Her daughter didn’t want a full relationship with her for very good reason, and she forced her into it by making it a condition of education.
@karrihart1
9 ай бұрын
I have a mother who is Emily Gilmore but thinks she's Lorelei. There are scenes between Emily and Lorelei that hit way too close to home for me.
@Cat262
9 ай бұрын
Same. The series is good, but not a fun, escapist watch for me because of it. It's my mother + immense wealth.
@hatchetfieldharpie3276
8 ай бұрын
Same, guys! Omg we could start a club
@ayuxx10
9 ай бұрын
I think you're pretty spot on about Emily. I would love to see more Gilmore Girls analyses.
@emilyc2175
9 ай бұрын
Emily says it herself she wasn't raised to be friends with her daughter she was raised to be a good wife and mother. She is a extremely deep character I can't wait to watch you react and scream at the screen. Also to this day we don't know what the gift actually was and it drives me crazy😅
@sonjabirch4865
8 ай бұрын
I have a theory about that... it's the ice cream maker that is sent to them anonymously and with no return address!
@kettlecorn2197
8 ай бұрын
The problem with her was she was being too much like a mother and Lorelai was being too much like a friend instead of a mom, and that’s part of the reason why Rory doesn’t go very far and gets spoiled.
@wynterblackwell3640
6 ай бұрын
except.. she wasn't a good mother.
@ClaytonChick8
9 ай бұрын
There is an arc in the Netflix revival series where Emily and Lorelai go to therapy together and your thoughts are very on point about how that experience went
@voyance4elle
9 ай бұрын
yesss wonderful scene!
@Me-wk3ix
9 ай бұрын
Was that in the Year one? It's been awhile since I've watched it, so I've forgotten a lot. Or was there another revival?
@ClaytonChick8
9 ай бұрын
@@Me-wk3ix there's just the one series. I think it happens in either the winter or summer episode, I don't remember specifically. I want to say summer.
@voyance4elle
9 ай бұрын
@@Me-wk3ix It was in the latest season "a Year in the life" :) so not the original show but the extra season done by Netflix not so long ago.
@Vampiress16
9 ай бұрын
@@ClaytonChick8it was the spring episode. Thats when it started n she got roped into going to therapy w her mom.
@mh-jg4tv
9 ай бұрын
Emily' s grieving after Richard' s death was beautifully played.
@wynterblackwell3640
6 ай бұрын
literally the only good thing about the revival. Emily's story was beautifully done, and I loved where she ended up by the end.
@mollysmith1226
3 ай бұрын
@@wynterblackwell3640I totally agree 👍 😊
@Isabell27272
9 ай бұрын
I grew up with Gilmore Girls and loved it so much. When I was younger, I first idealized Rory and wanted to be like her, than it was Lorelai who was my role model... and as the years went by I noticed how messed up and flawed both characters were (which is why i was not at all surprised about the sequel ten years later) and I started to actually feel for Emily a lot It's rare that TV shows have that many super layered personalities, that are developing so realistically So happy, that you are watching it now! Very much looking forward to your thoughts! Greetings from Germany :))
@VioletEmerald
9 ай бұрын
Actually though they changed their characters and Emily grew into a better person and was written more sympathetically in the revival. Rory was such a role model character in seasons 1-3 in high school and I don't think any criticisms of her really are fair till later on. Lorelai was always flawed but also impressive.
@anainesgonzalez8868
8 ай бұрын
@@VioletEmerald I agree. Lorelai has her issues but she is still a role model for me because she is so impresiv
@laurayang1102
9 ай бұрын
It’s hard to see Emily’s faults in just a few clips because the entire conflict with her and lorilei is that she constantly pushes boundaries. Because of Emily’s very rigid world view she always takes it upon herself to make it so that her daughter and granddaughter are making life choices that suit her preferences because she believes they don’t know what they want for themselves.
@NataliaNixdorf
9 ай бұрын
there are times where Emily's negative characters remind me of my mom. I was scared to invite my mom to my actual wedding, because she's partially ruined events in the past for me. We ended up eloping so I didn't invite her to that. She ended up coming to our reception and has the audacity to bluntly say I don't like your make up, it's too dark. Like fuck off, can you keep your opinion to yourself one time. Glad she wasn't apart of my actual wedding day and that day was filled with so many wonderful memories :).
@sarahjackson2889
9 ай бұрын
Each character is so complex which makes it so good.and real. Emily is judgmental, mean, and stuck up. She’s also loving, giving, and compassionate. Emily was horribly bullied by Richard’s mom, Lorelai the first. She never felt Emily was good enough for Richard. Constantly talked down to her, undercut her, and ridiculed her. Even left a copy of a note she wrote Richard before their wedding day begging him to leave Emily at the alter for Emily to find after she passed away. But what Lorelai never really explained well to Emily is that she was doing the same thing to her. Lorelai needed to sit down and explain how Emily’s treatment left her feeling the same way Emily felt from her mother in laws treatment. But I doubt Emily would have been receptive. Lorelai, the main character, was also complex. She was a rich kid who had too much freedom. But at the same time, not enough freedom. She was expected to act, walk, think, and BE someone she wasn’t. And everytime she failed to do so, she was put down and bullied by Emily. All Lorelai wanted was what ANY teenager wants: to be accepted for who she was. So she left and she found a town who DID accept her and love her and her daughter for who they were. No one expected her to be better or different. And she became very accepting of the strange people in her town. She never expected her friends to be different even when they were weird as heck lol because she knew what it was like to grow up not accepted. But she also struggled with giving that same acceptance to her daughter. She loved Rory and would do anything for Rory. But her knee jerk reactions were often very similar to Emily’s, just less intense than Emily. Unlike Emily, Lorelai nearly always calmed down and worked it out with Rory, accepting her choices for the most part even when she didn’t agree. And I think that showed how much growth Lorelai had as a person. It’s hard to break generational trauma and she did her best to do so. Rory was a complex character too. She had such high goals and expectations. She was very intelligent and that comes with a lot of stress. I too was advanced as a kid (started college at 16) so I related to Rory a lot. Even without pressure from your parents, you put so much pressure on yourself. And that leads to breakdowns. Bad decisions. Which was portrayed perfectly in how Rory handled the Dean/Jess situation, the Dean Affair situation, and even the beginning of her relationship with Logan. Then the breakdown of Rory’s life in adulthood is also true for many advanced kids. We spend so much of our young lives pushing and pushing that we just stop and need a break at some point. No one can keep up 100% forever. I didn’t understand that when I first watched a year in the life but I get it now. At 28, IM FUCKING TIRED YALL. I need a break. I wish I had parents I could go home to and live with while I just recentered my life, like Rory had. But alas I don’t. Overall, this show is so REAL and RAW and that why it’s still relevant today.
@reneeg4817
8 ай бұрын
I agree with you. Sorry you have a hard life. Jesus will help u. Just ask Him
@beingbeckeroni
9 ай бұрын
Interesting you started with the flashback scene to Lorelai leaving the Gilmore’s house. That came further into the show, and it really gave you a dose of empathy for Emily, despite her fraught relationship with Lorelai, and there’s a scene where the normally quieter Richard is raising his voice to Lorelai and asking her if she knew how much running away affected her mother, that “she didn’t get out of bed for months” or something to that effect. And Lorelai’s very shaken by his pointed confrontation. I think you’d actually really enjoy Gilmore Girls, Jono. My boyfriend watched it multiple times long before he and I got together and introducing him to Amy Sherman-Palladino & her husband Dan Palladino got him into Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. And for years I was trying to explain to my mother how much my grandmother (her mother-in-law) is the Jewish Emily Gilmore and finally after watching the show, she agrees with me. Years ago, my grandmother had us walk around her apartment and put colored dot stickers on “things we wanted after she died” and my mom didn’t believe me that I’d seen the same thing on a tv show and of course Emily Gilmore did it too 😂
@deannaepler
9 ай бұрын
I love that show! Emily Gilmore is such a complex character
@oliviamyers2606
9 ай бұрын
“Emily Gilmore” and “warm and nurturing” in the same sentence is a TRIP.
@scarlettredding
9 ай бұрын
I absolutely loved Emily's arc in AYITL Netflix reboot, that was one of the only good parts lol we see Emily grow so much.
@tjohns25
9 ай бұрын
Yep, literally the only good part
@ColorfulBallerina
9 ай бұрын
Your initial assessment of Emily is right on. Emily is selfish, manipulative, and controlling.
@picklemommy87
9 ай бұрын
You must watch at least the first season to get the context. There’s a complicated history here. I watched this with my teen daughter when it was on originally & I very much identified with Lorelai & her position between the grandparents & her daughter. We still watch reruns regularly, but now I find myself identifying with Emily & the disappointment & dreams lost that we place on our own children & the hurt caused by decisions our own children make, whether good or bad. I’m very much interested in your perspective AFTER you’ve watched the first season & have some context.
@fearlesssfcappuccino
9 ай бұрын
Agreed!! I feel like it would be very dicey to judge or assess the complexities accurately outside of a more full context - one episode alone can be more misleading out of that context. I even think you need more than just the first season for sure
@JazFae90
9 ай бұрын
Finally 🎉 Love this show! It's exactly how me, my ma, and gma was growing up!
@Clarissakayleigh
9 ай бұрын
Love this show. Emily is so layered one cannot simplify Emily in jsut a comment. WATCH THE SHOW. Pretty please :)
@1bendykat
9 ай бұрын
My mom is an Emily (she thinks she’s a Lorelai). It was a challenging childhood. She loves me, but she was also abused in her childhood, which emotionally shut her down, and told repeatedly she wasn’t good enough for my Dad (even by the preacher who married them), so she in turn abused me. As an adult I can see that I can be sympathetic to what she went through, but don’t excuse her actions to me.
@chelseaparrott8983
9 ай бұрын
My nana was so similar to Emily (except she has none of the redeeming qualities). She was always so critical of my mom and of us and she constantly put it back on us if we tried to say anything. Everytime my mom let her know how it made her feel she would start a huge fight. She had done some pretty terrible things and we finally had to go no contact with her.
@sarahrosencrans2402
9 ай бұрын
Emily is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting and complex characters of the series. Which makes her feel very human. She’s cold and cruel, but there is love there and unexpected moments of warmth and compassion. My opinion is that she was brought up to be the perfect wife and mother, where we never show or discuss anything, and was never made to feel good enough as she was; which led to a desperation to have everything be perfect all the time. Had she been brought up differently, or simply been told she was enough as she was.. I think she’d have ended up a quite warm and kind person.
@girllittlemorbid
9 ай бұрын
The one scene where Lorelai is helping her while Richard is grieving his mother.. And Emily lets her guard down & tells Lorelai how she's proud that she's independent & her own person...
@sarahrosencrans2402
9 ай бұрын
@@girllittlemorbid absolutely! She had some moments where we see the true depth of her ability to care, connect, and show compassion/care/warmth.
@Sophieslazy
9 ай бұрын
A "sunday dinner relationship", well spotted, there, John! Gilmore Girls taught me aaaall my English, and it's an awesome show. I hope you find the time to watch it and appreciate it =D
@jakemarie828
9 ай бұрын
I wish the Wii music would play when my Grandma's being judgy 🙃
@mallisaunders4565
9 ай бұрын
This show is one of my favorites. It is not without issues, but the dialogue, acting, and characters are so fabulous.
@GabbyOssi
9 ай бұрын
Yay Gilmore Girls! I hope you do some discussion on Luke and Lorelai soon as well, especially I would love to hear your input on the arc in episodes 5x13 - 5x15. Would open up for insights on when the other parent of your child is causing problems in your current relationship, but also about the need to communicate in your relationship but also maybe giving your partner space if they ask for it. And of course, what to do when an Emily is getting too involved in your relationship 😅
@tink3rquinn
9 ай бұрын
I cannot wait for you to therapize this show!
@OliviaKT183
9 ай бұрын
"Sometimes you have a Sunday dinner relationship" You don't say?
@MoiraMcGill
9 ай бұрын
That boundry drawing that you talk about near the end, I had to do that with my mum and ended up cutting her off entierly when I was a teenager because she'd try to manipulate me with threats/attempts of suicide. I lived with my grandmother at the time (since my mum had already lost custody) and what was really the last straw for me was when, a week after I had taken her out to eat with my own money (which is a big deal as a poor child with no income) for mother's day, I went to a school dance. When I came back from it I was informed by my grandmother that my mum had attempted suicide, again, and explicitly blamed me because I didn't hangout with her that weekend (despite not having any plans with her at all). I was done. I gave her my terms for what I'd need to consider continuing our relationship and she didn't want to comply at all, only accuse my grandmother of "turning me against [her]", and so I would refuse to see her. I related to this show quite a bit growing up. My grandmother (RN) was often critical and condescending with her words (i.g. expecting me to know medical terms and other complicated words as a child) while my mum and I were a bit like Lorlei and Rory in the sense that we were a lot more like friends than mother/daughter, it's just that friendship turned quite abusive when I was a teenager.
@bencohen2422
9 ай бұрын
Please make a video about the TV show Fringe.
@bencohen2422
9 ай бұрын
Please make a video about the anime Mushoku Sensei.
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