1. Maintaining non-negotiables 2. Not story-telling 3. Being articulate and assertive 4. Seeing if the needle moves, if yes, can stay if not no cause the person is 100% responsible for their 50%
@PopFizzPaperDani
3 ай бұрын
I’m loving the videos about secure attachment. They help me see where I’m at in my healing journey. ❤ Ty!
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
3 ай бұрын
Thank you for your kind comment Dani :) We're so glad to hear that you've found great value out of the content !
@JasperCarnivore
3 ай бұрын
This really hits home. "I've spoken my part , now what happens in your 50% of the relationship" really helped me set my boundaries and not accept breadcrumbing.
@brianthomas3910
3 ай бұрын
lol thanks I finally have enough breadcrumbs to make a meatball 😂
@Portia620
2 ай бұрын
I had one too! 😂😂
@irshikha
2 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@mikewhiterobot
Ай бұрын
Seriously. I'd rather have crumbs than nothing ❤
@kmduarte2005
3 ай бұрын
It’s nice to get confirmation that I handled things correctly when expressing what my needs and expectations are. I guess I’m more securely attached than I gave myself credit for. I’ve been doing the work, but wasn’t sure if I was making progress.
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
3 ай бұрын
We're so proud of all the hard work and dedication that you've put into your healing journey :)
@autumnvazquez504
3 ай бұрын
I had just the same thought!
@gogohappygirl
3 ай бұрын
I just have to say, as a healing FA leaning AA, I really appreciate your latest series of videos about how those with secure attachment would respond. It’s very helpful in the journey to becoming earned secure. After digesting everything there is to know about insecure attachment styles over the past four years, I feel like I want to immerse myself now in everything there is to know about the secure style. Of course, you always incorporate how to respond securely to the various insecure attachment styles in your videos, but I really appreciate the videos specifically dedicated to how a securely attached person would respond. Such a great resource for those of us who didn’t learn this in our families of origin.💜
@andrescampos2510
3 ай бұрын
I think there is a point where you realize that the breadcrumbing has been happening for months, is not an isolated thing, and in that moment you can´t do anything else but to go away, when it repeats it´s a pattern usually difficult to break, ain´t got time for that.
@Portia620
2 ай бұрын
Me either and didn’t have time to show him!!! I say things and allow the man to change it and if not then I’m done! Life is too short!
@chrismaxwell1624
3 ай бұрын
I wonder if this bread crumb thing is now more common due how technology. I think about dating before the internet, cell phones, and all that. I think about it would that be bread crumbs in past if there wasn't this constant communication. You had home phone and you weren't home much. You be a work, out with friends, had activities you did like dinner at you parents. So at best you could have is an answering machine. So how would attachment styles deal with reality of not have instant gratification in form say texting. I think that instant gratification of getting it or not causes lot of these problem. I think I have that space and time for all attachment styles helped. Go on date and not hear back for few days. Not anxiety as there is not pressure to send or expect text right after. It might be a few days before contact.
@chrismaxwell1624
3 ай бұрын
Guess to use the analogy, did we get the whole loaf but broke it into crumbs with expectations of instant gratification over span of few days. There is real bead crumbing too just is the increase due to technology.
@lc-fu6xy
3 ай бұрын
Does anyone consider these people are just busy?? My work is demanding and I have crazy deadlines. My behavior probably gets perceived as breadcrumbing. But you don't want a brokey right? 😂
@chrismaxwell1624
3 ай бұрын
@@lc-fu6xy That's good point, with the economy today.
@bmswomn68
Ай бұрын
@@lc-fu6xynoone is too busy for quick communication with someone of interest.
@Lady_Ra
3 ай бұрын
Sometimes we are not secure. Still anxious but know better anyway. I will never accept this kind of abysmal Behavior from anyone ever again. I'd rather die alone.
@Portia620
2 ай бұрын
Me too! That’s why I got it some other guys number when I was out because I’m like this other guys breadcrumbing me and I will not put up with that behavior ever again!
@sshuteandrew
3 ай бұрын
I love secure videos- very helpful!
@CeciledeLuire
3 ай бұрын
exactly. and even if it's very uncomfortable for me sometimes- dang it feels so GOOD to call out and stay with what i want in people 💛 the alternative would be eating that rubbish and feeling bad, no thanks. and yes you need to love yourself.
@Jamessmith-cd6bx
3 ай бұрын
Once they dont respect our boundaries then we feel when wasn’t worthy or important enough for them to have boundaries.
@StKrane
3 ай бұрын
Once again, really great advice! Thanks :)
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
3 ай бұрын
Thank you for your kind comment :)
@whiggygirl
3 ай бұрын
I really struggle in a relationship with not using inflammatory, confrontational language when I'm hurt/upset. I'm FA
@emey444
3 ай бұрын
I recommend meditation, because that helps you control your emotions ALOT I'm not saying you are never going to get angry but for sure will help with just walking away to cool off instead of hurting others or even yourself if you feel guilty after❤
@if7363
3 ай бұрын
It's on a biochemical/neurochemical level which causes impulsive reaction rather than stopping and thinking through, reflecting what exactly, why, and how hurt you thus developing understanding of patterns.
@if7363
3 ай бұрын
Another approach is creating distance in order not to take it personally. Create an image of a house, not let everything in. Take your power by not accepting everything someone says to you as true.
@irshikha
2 ай бұрын
@@if7363wow, this house analogy will help. I'll try. Thank you!
@yazzy1979
28 күн бұрын
My partner is grieving his mother's death for the last 10 months yet he shows up for others in a sober positive way, He is mean or accusing me and this is after a 7-month break. Makes no time, very little effort, I didnt see or hear from him on my birthday. we were together for 6 weeks at the beginning of the year. then I reach out this aug when my mother died and its the same energy. I dont want to be jerked around while he figures himself out. He talks about himself "high-value man"......... yet isnt caring and giving. I have men around me asking me to travel, giving me gift on my birthday, telling me they want me around so agin 6 weeks, Iv seen enough clear time and space didnt really grow what he wants in love sooooo I freed myself this morning I came here for confirmation self-evaluation. I love that thias self analysing question
@ShaunaBass
3 ай бұрын
how would they handle the needle sometimes moving but then there are setbacks ?
@chiaraA.
3 ай бұрын
Very good info, for those of us ready and looking and able to be better, learning the tools and what implementation looks like, is great info. Right on
@ServantOfYHWH
3 ай бұрын
As an avoidant, I don’t care when I’m being breadcrumbed. If anything, it feels nice. 😅
@Thais, I unfriended my 12y fwb person bc I found him on dating app. He crossed the line while I kept myself in this dynamic as I, like him, was not ready to be paired up (on my part it was bc I knew my self-worth was not very good). He’d leave me many times and produce fake problems so as to distance himself but, nonetheless, he is manipulative. I feel fine for unhooking him, he is not glad-I bet. I DO want him different. I know it is possible as I am different. So it is possible. You do give these positively framed messages, but throughout these 12y he hasn’t caught on.
@OnjelieMarie
3 ай бұрын
FWB for 12 years?!? Whoa. If he didn’t learn within a year he’ll never change 😫
@michaella5799
3 ай бұрын
Lol you have zero worth or value to anyone now. RIP
@Mockduck2020
3 ай бұрын
Sounds like a very unhealthy relationship to me.
@margie4163
3 ай бұрын
What if it is a situationship?
@alex941126
3 ай бұрын
Honestly, I do believe that secure people won't even get into a situationship, because they know what they want.
@Jamessmith-cd6bx
3 ай бұрын
How do we check in to make sure the needle is moving?
@emey444
3 ай бұрын
You will notice the change in the effort and consistency.
@Jamessmith-cd6bx
3 ай бұрын
@@emey444 how so?
@RubanLawrence
3 ай бұрын
First, you communicate to them the change you're asking them for. For example, if their communication has been inconsistent, you aak them if they can be more consistent in their communication. If you're looking for a partner rather than just a casual relationship, you're essentially asking them to demonstrate more investment into the relationship you're building with them. Then, just continue being with them and observe if their behaviour is changing the way you'd asked. If their behaviour does not change - if they do not demonstrate more investment in your relationship, then you have your answer that this person is likely not the right person for you. Look at their ACTIONS rather than their words.
@MaatTehuti_Dr_Clark_PsyD
3 ай бұрын
This is an absolutely amazing portrayal of the diaspora of attachment styles specific response to intermittent schedule of reinforcement during communication. As always, thank you for sharing!
@shellchenonceau6987
3 ай бұрын
Overly heavy under eye liner. If you mute that black line a tad more, each eye will actually more attractive. It is a bit jarring & unnatural (currently)
@motherwolfe888
3 ай бұрын
I think it’s interesting that you choose to comment on Thais’ makeup style with your preference of how you would like her to do it rather than take the useful information from this video she has shared. Her makeup is just fine. Your mental health might not be. Worry about yourself first. :)
@justme9514
3 ай бұрын
Jealous much ??😆 What does her make up have to do with the message. I think your priorities are backwards my love 😏 you sound like a hater. That one girlfriend in the group that likes to give backhand comments everyone rolls their eyes at and can see through.
@Jellybelly_143
3 ай бұрын
@@motherwolfe888Yep! There’s always one person who seems to feel the need to leave a negative comment instead of focusing on the wisdom they could potentially gain-ugh ❤
@Between_thelines_____270
3 ай бұрын
Who asked?
@tserafin100
3 ай бұрын
I love her makeup especially the bottom eye liner 🤷♀️
@Rachel-qn8hy
2 ай бұрын
I will never put up with anything less than my worth. I'll run off !!
@justme9514
3 ай бұрын
You don't need a 10 min video on this, 🥱we just don't deal with it or the avoidant types... end of story.
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