A short video about the plight of vegetables in their struggle for rights
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Vegetable Rights Activism Transcript: There are around 400,000 species of plants that live on this planet, and throughout all of human history many of these species have been destroyed and abused to further our own agendas, in many cases even going so far as to alter the genetic code of those species just so we can maximise their usefulness to us, all the while disregarding the negative effects that it may have on that species. My name is stoic stick, vegetable rights activist, I haven’t eaten a vegetable in my 24 years on this planet, because I believe that there is a genocide happening to plant lives every day that I refuse to take a part in. My poos are, very hard, but that is a small price to pay to have a clean conscience. I was okay with remaining silent on this tragedy until recently with the exponential rise in veganism and vegetarianism which if my calculations are correct will lead to the complete extinction of plant matter within the next 100 years. In this video I’m going to try and prevent this from happening by convincing you that not only are plants conscious like us humans but that there is a giant conspiracy afoot to ensure mass plant extinction, as well as documenting the systematic abuse that some plants face for the gratification of anonymous viewers online.But first we need to talk about plant feelings. For something to be able to feel they need to be conscious of that feeling and logically conscious, and plants actually have been shown to display what some would argue as a consciousness. Claude Bernard a French physiologist conducted experiments on the shameplant, which sidenote is a pretty rude name for a plant, what should they be ashamed of? The fact that he’s a plant? Yea typical vegicism that goes unchecked. Anyway, Claude administered anaesthetic to the shameplant and found that it would no longer fold up like it usually would as a response to physical touch. The plant would however still fold up at night which suggested that the anaesthetic didn’t block the physical ability to move however did inhibit its ability to sense its environment particularly the ability to sense touch. So, it could be argued that the anaesthetic blocked the consciousness in the plant similar to how it also blocks the consciousness in humans. This isn’t the only plant that has demonstrated consciousness, another aspect of consciousness in my opinion is the ability to remember, because if you can’t remember the experiences that you go through did they actually even happen, kind of like the if a tree falls in the forest argument but a little more philosophical. Plants do have memory though, as demonstrated in a study in which researchers encased venus fly traps in a chamber and anaesthetised them. They found that after being in the chamber, when they stimulated the sensory hairs inside the trap it didn’t close. Now you could argue that it was because the anaesthetic blocks the signal, but Rainer Hedrich and expert in plant physiology furthered this experiment by testing whether the impulse signal from the hair actually fired to tell the plant that it was touched and it did actually still fire the signal. So why didn’t the trap close? Well because venus fly traps only close when 2 signals are triggered, this means that the plant has to keep track of how many hairs were triggered. And because the hairs were still firing it must mean that the anaesthetic was disrupting its ability to remember any previous signals. Ergo plants can remember and they remember when you were making daisy chains as a child and trust me, they will get their revenge. He loves me, He loves me not, he loves me, he loves me NOT.If that wasn’t enough to convince you then maybe its time you finally learned the truth, you my dear viewer have committed mass genocides multiple times throughout your life, if you have ever cut your front lawn or trimmed your hedges you’ll know that they release this green leafy smell, well that is actually the grass’s equivalent to an air raid siren, they’re called green leaf volatiles and are warning signals to other plants that there is a predator around. So, under the hum of your lawnmower the screams of millions of tiny blades of grass cry out as you just go around culling their entire bloodlines. You might argue that grass sending out warning signals is dumb because they can’t move and to that I have to say… well okay you might have got me there but the fact that they release the signal shows they clearly care about the wellbeing of their fellow plant, which some would argue is a sign of empathy, some being
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