All your favourite Star Wars characters! Day-glo Vader! Weird armed grimacing Luke! Crap hat Poe Dameron! And many, many more! And yes, these are all official Star Wars figures.
*snaps Padme in half* It seems, ashens, in your anger, you killed her.
@yadabub
6 жыл бұрын
Does Ashens hate sand?
@brianm6337
6 жыл бұрын
"NOOOOOOOOOOoh, bloody hell."
@jorgyt754
4 жыл бұрын
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
@SchlubbyTomHanks
3 жыл бұрын
"yeah, padme may be dead, but we at least we gained a space nappy."
@aceisking
2 жыл бұрын
@@yadabub yes and FUCKING INFLATABLE FUCKING CROWNS
@ZaGorudan
3 жыл бұрын
I can't stop laughing at Ape Man Luke. They made the figure to be posed in a very specific way and the illusion falls apart almost instantly.
@Arsonolace
6 жыл бұрын
Just imaging horribly burned Anakin Skywalker bein' all cheery as his armor machine switches him into his holiday colors is giving me giggles.
@Koendabomb
4 жыл бұрын
@@triplesevensix291 Either you were drunk, or you are a complete and utter waste of oxygen
@AniW2x4
4 жыл бұрын
@@Koendabomb I'm gonna assume it was both just to paint this guy as a squeeze punchy low life and a professional scumbag.
@epicgamerman2000
4 жыл бұрын
@@vrona8649 wait what happened, what did he say
@JohnCena-by1zc
4 жыл бұрын
That’s not the only thing to make you giggle...
@JohnCena-by1zc
4 жыл бұрын
Fresh Prince Of Africa he’s. not the one who needs to earn english
@xLupineRadiancex
6 жыл бұрын
"Did anyone really need holiday edition Darth Vader?" Well now I do
@brandon3872
6 жыл бұрын
Luper Duper How about a star wars themed Xmas tree 😉
@lukefreisner9637
5 жыл бұрын
The red looks kinda badass
@CJODell12
5 жыл бұрын
"So festive! SO GODDAMN FESTIVE!"
@GeneralCloudhopper
5 жыл бұрын
@@CJODell12 agree
@Shiratto
4 жыл бұрын
Apparently even in LEGO form (not joking)
@NuclearCherries
6 жыл бұрын
Christmas Vader looks better if you consider him to be "Drenched in the blood of his enemies" Vader.
@smugalice6206
6 жыл бұрын
Nuclear Cherries I was going to make that joke.
@LadyBloodyWrists
6 жыл бұрын
Blake Gilbert me too
@AAhmou
6 жыл бұрын
The cape that falls off is the nice touch.
@expendableindigo9639
4 жыл бұрын
Like the Sith Troopers, even-more-sith-Vader.
@RRVCrinale
4 жыл бұрын
"Emperor's Royal Guard" Vader, maybe?
@Arcade_Cat_
6 жыл бұрын
I've heard the copyright neutral knockoff Star Wars music so often that it's now what I think about instead of the real Star Wars music.
@slvrcobra1337
6 жыл бұрын
Pretty sure that shit had the Overwatch theme in it
@BibleStorm
6 жыл бұрын
John Williams stole the star wars music anyway...
@Odis616
6 жыл бұрын
The Luke figure looks like a Scooby Doo villain
@themothman7241
5 жыл бұрын
Or Riff Raff from Rocky Horror
@BrendonTerra
5 жыл бұрын
Jeepers it’s the Creeper!
@braveheart4603
5 жыл бұрын
Stone Roses singer Ian Brown is angry lukes twin bro haha.
@slammgames7425
4 жыл бұрын
His face looked like hulk to me
@bighead8060
4 жыл бұрын
Brendon Terra Yes I thought the same.
@wilburreid1950
6 жыл бұрын
That Luke skywalker had me laughing so hard it hurt!
@boerharms2209
6 жыл бұрын
same XD
@hmidouchboetekees5320
6 жыл бұрын
+boer harms Poh wat n' mooie trekker.
@leons.kennedy2747
6 жыл бұрын
I was fucking crying
@DoctorBastard
6 жыл бұрын
Woke my wife up laughing at it...
@ToastedAlmond98
6 жыл бұрын
He looks like a moody teenager! (Well, a moody 23-year-old, anyway)
@jazzygeofferz
6 жыл бұрын
That Leia looks like she's just finished a shift at the supermarket.
@markjames8603
5 жыл бұрын
Is that the uniform of Empire Supermarket?
@chrismuskett6867
4 жыл бұрын
Geoffrey Walsh Netto’s Leia
@GmodPlusWoW
6 жыл бұрын
That fucking Luke figure, Jesus Christ. I was actually tearing up trying not to laugh my head off, complete with the lump in the throat. I've had to take a short break to write this, lest I choke on my water and cause my keyboard to erupt like a Federation-built computer console. (which probably have fucking positronic circuits or something)
@MinaF99
6 жыл бұрын
Luke skywalker - angry ape man made me literally cry with laughter
@TheDavidPoole
6 жыл бұрын
Angry Luke with his arms down looks like Michael Jackson doing the Thriller dance.
@k27ism
6 жыл бұрын
Dave Poole Omg, i was thinking the same! 😂
@AniW2x4
3 жыл бұрын
Thriller dancing off to never never land...
@blobtheblob7975
2 жыл бұрын
i was just about to say that
@Makingnewnamesisdumb
6 жыл бұрын
The luke figure that swings both arms downwards is legitimately the funniest action figure I've ever seen in my life.
@artinyyk
6 жыл бұрын
"What this actually is Stuart is somebody's mum who's come to pick them up from football practice wearing a fucking gilet." That's oddly specific and oddly conjures up way too much vitriol from Alec for that not to be linked to some sort of deep and personal childhood drama. Edit: Who said Larry?
@leons.kennedy2747
6 жыл бұрын
Larry? This is Alec lol
@Avellania
6 жыл бұрын
It reminds me of a posh mother who hangs around at the local stable, but never actually rides a horse.
@artinyyk
6 жыл бұрын
Well shit.
@Taffer-King
6 жыл бұрын
Luke with balcony killing action! BTW, Star Wars zombies is a thing.
@arthurmorgan4736
5 жыл бұрын
Operation Black Wing?
@danpryle313
4 жыл бұрын
The Walker Dead!
@comradeurod9805
3 жыл бұрын
@@Mandalorian-ss8cw deathtroopers were an elite Unit of stormtroopers, Operation blackwing is the zombie thing
@HelloThereUniverse
3 жыл бұрын
Luke Skywalker APE MAN!!
@evancygnor8367
6 жыл бұрын
When Stuart said "STAY AWAYYY" in the hissing voice I fell out of my chair laughing
@Sh0tgunJust1ce
6 жыл бұрын
That Luke Skywalker's face looks like a disgusted Tyrion Lannister.
@redcomet_622
6 жыл бұрын
0:06 That Star Wars theme soundalike is the audio definition of disappointment.
@metalmugen
6 жыл бұрын
you love it though. I do too.
@Laevaryl
6 жыл бұрын
It's like having sandpaper shoved in your ears.
@ekmad
6 жыл бұрын
I actively skip it, it annoys me that much
@ZeDoGiCa
6 жыл бұрын
Imagine the poor bloke that had to make that in order to pay rent
This channel could only do star wars figure knockoffs and ashens would be set for life.
@edbadyt
6 жыл бұрын
Devon Palmer vI'd be happy if he only did food specials or vintage UK gaming
@OlGregge
6 жыл бұрын
If he only did food specials he'd eventually die from food poisoning.
@otakon17
6 жыл бұрын
He'd never run out of material that's for sure.
@smb-c3po
6 жыл бұрын
Stuart should be more pirate figures, also I wonder if he was ever married.
@Snacksaloon
6 жыл бұрын
The sad thing is, these are all official figures..
@10234ist
6 жыл бұрын
You probably didn't recognize me because of my red everything
@jeremyhodgson5013
5 жыл бұрын
Underrated comment😂
@MagicianFairy
6 жыл бұрын
@9:26 Luke Skywalker does an impression of the Creeper from Scooby doo.
@swiftfox3461
6 жыл бұрын
MagicianFairy Glad I'm not the only one that noticed this.
@Silver_wind_1987_
5 жыл бұрын
He looks like shaggy if he was really pissed off...
@camarojayrod7093
4 жыл бұрын
Made me think of the Michael Jackson "Thriller" dance lol
@Mobliz
6 жыл бұрын
It's just Vader after a long fight and he's covered in blood. Cutting people in half with light-sabers can be pretty messy!
@E3kHatena
6 жыл бұрын
Mobliz Don't light sabers cauterize the wound? Maybe he just owns a red glass sword and that's why Holiday Vader's saber doesn't glow. He spent all his money on the red armor and had to skimp on the weapon.
@RondoOfBloodX
4 жыл бұрын
So Rogue One Vader then?
@Lukethefox
6 жыл бұрын
Seeing that Vader in Red Armor reminds me of this Comic I read which is Return of the Jedi set in an alternate timeline where Vader lived after becoming Anakin again and made his armor completely white.
@nathancombs527
6 жыл бұрын
That Vader sculpt is the same as my old holographic Vader. The only difference is that the holographic one is transparent blue.
@Ironman1o1
6 жыл бұрын
10:12 Luke telling the emperor to suck it.
@dxmanforlife
6 жыл бұрын
Ironman1o1 we got two words for ya!
@Feeb5
6 жыл бұрын
If it was the real Star Wars theme at the beginning it wouldn't be the same
@dominateeye
6 жыл бұрын
I haven't laughed as hard as I did at Angry Luke in a long damn time. Thanks, Ashens.
@ajzeg01
6 жыл бұрын
Star Wars zombies are a thing. They’ve shown up in some of Expanded Universe stories, both canon and otherwise. None of the main characters have ever been zombified, though, except for I believe Chewbacca briefly. (He was infected at one point, but got cured. I don’t know, I haven’t read Death Troopers, but I think I remember hearing this somewhere.) There were some bobbleheads released at one point of Star Wars characters as famous monsters, including a Stormtrooper zombie and a Vader Frankenstein, but that’s it.
@zombiethezerker
6 жыл бұрын
ajzeg01 Luke was for awhile brain slug got him he got better
@SorowFame
4 жыл бұрын
Also the Nightsister zombies, they were in Clone Wars I think.
@user-hq9mq2tk1d
2 жыл бұрын
@@zombiethezerker of course someone named zombieslayer would know this little known fact lol
@reptile1677
2 жыл бұрын
There was also the ones from the second star wars galaxy of terror novel
@GmodPlusWoW
2 жыл бұрын
IIRC that was Project Blackwing in action.
@ScrewBallTheAlien
6 жыл бұрын
8:33 Luke Skywalker looks like a classic 60's Scooby-Doo villain with Marfan Syndrome.
@georgesears934
6 жыл бұрын
That Constable Zuvio figure actually looks like a neat design. Like a cross between a Mortal Kombat Ninja and a NCR trooper. It's still stupid that they made all the figures before they even had a movie to attach them to but props to the designer if I were a kid I would want one of those.
@larrychilders6599
6 жыл бұрын
so you mean that degenerate figure belongs on a cross
@pennsylvaniafellow4409
6 жыл бұрын
Being on a cross sure beats patrolling the Mojave.
@420mralucard
6 жыл бұрын
It almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
@idanniv3264
6 жыл бұрын
Hey it’s solidus snake
@Denaro47
6 жыл бұрын
It reminds me of Reptile (MK) + Samurai Jack's Ultra-Robots
@getwellkel
6 жыл бұрын
I actually own the slashing Luke figure, a gem in my collection I must say.
@MJuegaES
6 жыл бұрын
4:29 "Rendition of Padme Amadala, designed by Hirohiko Araki."
@jacketfrommiami3112
4 жыл бұрын
Daze
@jakublulek3261
3 жыл бұрын
@Meme Boi I would say no. Hirohiko Araki generally do his characters in poses inspired by Greek or Roman statues and paintings. He does it in everything he does, not only JoJo. And he wrote book about his technique.
@RRVCrinale
3 жыл бұрын
[attacked by that tiger thing from Episode II] OOOOHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOO
@TheCrazyHedgehogLady
4 жыл бұрын
Festive Darth Vader’s expression! 😆 He actually manages to look surprised and embarrassed.
@eternaCabelera
6 жыл бұрын
9:27 Oh my god thats literally the Creeper from Scooby Doo
@migueldeclercq3883
6 жыл бұрын
125 years from now, that red festive Darth Vader will be worth £75,000.
@Sheepy007
6 жыл бұрын
125 year from now on we would have had a real star wars
@paulbrozyna3006
6 жыл бұрын
125 years from now £75,000 is what a can of coke will cost...
@eiaboca1
3 жыл бұрын
@@Sheepy007 lol nah, we'll all be dead
@madaxgaming6405
4 жыл бұрын
That Red Darth Vader honestly looks cool, should be pretty expensive considering it's rare from the holiday special, but the Fact that it's from that special would make not let It be.
@neuronoc.7343
2 жыл бұрын
I watched this a few years back and hadn't seen Robocop beforehand, so when Stuart mentioned Dick Jones falling out the window, I somehow envisioned the titular robocop falling out of a window with his arms pinned to his side like a Garry's Mod statue.
@omisan771
6 жыл бұрын
80s GIJoes has such perfect articulations and movements. I'll never understand why it didn't become the gold standard for all action figures.
@iam16bits
6 жыл бұрын
It's Luke Skywalker at the Ministry of Silly Walks.
@fan9775
6 жыл бұрын
iam16bits He still won't get a grant.
@Rodderz1992
6 жыл бұрын
The Luke Skywalker figure at the beginning broke me so much I had to pause the video to try and calm the laughter... only to replay it and start laughing again. It took me 2 hours to watch this!
@jakespacepiratee3740
6 жыл бұрын
Someone should make a Ashens pixelated video game, you could blowtorch, draw of purgatory or shelf the enemies, you play as ashens, travelling around the UK on THE GOOSE, trying to stop the silver skull from buying all the bootlegged toys in the world.
@tlgpb0627
6 жыл бұрын
If you replace Luke's light saber with an axe, you have a lumberjack action figure
@MarissaScalero
6 жыл бұрын
The Luke part had me crying with laughter! XDDDD
@edviza1935
4 жыл бұрын
Darth Vader in all red armor is kind of a badass idea without considering it as Christmas themed
@someloser6579
6 жыл бұрын
I need that Luke. Oh my fucking lord.
@HeadsFullOfEyeballs
6 жыл бұрын
The Darth Vader design actually looks pretty good in red! Would fit in with the Emperor's Royal Guard, too.
@Robovski
6 жыл бұрын
Hunckback Elephant Man Skywalker, he's not an animal, he's a Jedi!
@otakon17
6 жыл бұрын
Robert Turner kept reminding me of Smooth Criminal Michael Jackson.
@MelvinWillikers
6 жыл бұрын
The Luke sabre action figure goes past crap to amazing, It's glorious.
@danberry20
9 ай бұрын
9:56 Ashens doing a Goodfella-esk mobster voice as Luke is comedy I never knew I needed 🤣
@kabobawsome
6 жыл бұрын
Jesus Christ, people. He's been doing these Star Wars figures for a long while. He's always done them on the office sofa. But every time, the top comments are filled with "New Sofa?" and "I don't like this new sofa." Can you people not notice a pattern?
@Chromatic_Death
6 жыл бұрын
Kabobawsome I think the dull, matte grey of this sofa is better for star wars honestly
@yadabub
6 жыл бұрын
The "New Sofa" is from a long time ago in a galaxy far away. The "Old Sofa" is actually visiting from the future.
@David315842
6 жыл бұрын
The angry Luke figure and the collapsing Padme were the best. :D
@SuperFetaCheese
6 жыл бұрын
I was crying laughing during the zombie luke figure, especially when you started to move the arms again. Ohh my sides.
@beautyforashes2022
3 жыл бұрын
"Two of KZitem's most darling idiots." Lol, you two are wonderful, don't ever change. 🥰
@jamesclay8172
6 жыл бұрын
8:25 when Vader and Padme ground luke
@booksmusicgodislife
6 жыл бұрын
OH MY GOSH! I had that Padma as a kid....I remember I used to send her down a string zip line OR I would make her dance...there was like a chain...a pillar and a monster or something that came in the set.
@booksmusicgodislife
6 жыл бұрын
Also her discolored "nappy" was also always discolored..I remember that discoloration as a kid as well.
@littlemikey46
6 жыл бұрын
"I'd make her dance, there was a chain..." your childhood sounds messed up :P
@OlagGan
6 жыл бұрын
That figure isn't Oscar Issac, it's Columbo. It even includes the trench coat.
@LadyBloodyWrists
6 жыл бұрын
OlagGan I just spit my drink
@metalmugen
6 жыл бұрын
JoJo posing Padmé
@jacobdial2448
6 жыл бұрын
yare yare daze
@kylesharma6246
6 жыл бұрын
metalmugen I was hoping someone would say that.
@Jamieclarkisokay
6 жыл бұрын
I kinda like festive Vader to be honest
@yaboijjonah._.1815
6 жыл бұрын
9:31 the end of thriller when Michael turns back at the camera to reveal he really is a zombie
@jackofnaught9822
6 жыл бұрын
Ashens perfectly predicted Leia flying through space like superman...
@probablyrajir638
6 жыл бұрын
Finn's alternative armour makes him look like he's wearing Fallout 4 power armour
@sunshinethuggery
6 жыл бұрын
Luke looks like he's either about the make me an offer I can't refuse or revolt against his human oppressors.
@JetJenkins
6 жыл бұрын
Padme throwing a JoJo pose. To me that's in about the same tier as Squidward dabbing.
@danpryle313
4 жыл бұрын
Whatabout HANDSOME SQUIDWARD posing?
@RangerSnow
6 жыл бұрын
okay, that Luke is probably the best Star Wars figure I've ever seen
@buddette5513
6 жыл бұрын
Anikan made me cry... with laughter!
@Elder74
5 жыл бұрын
Budder anikan? What is that? Is it consumable?
@theshooterflynn
6 жыл бұрын
That Padme figure looks like she about to best Usain Bolt on the tracking field.
@awimachinegun
6 жыл бұрын
9:00 It's Luke Skywalker with Cerebral Palsy action!
@stimpaksociety5895
6 жыл бұрын
But star wars zombies is a thing! (Death Troopers). The figure fits perfectly xD
@Guyait
6 жыл бұрын
That Luke with the "lightsaber chopping action" could pass as a "Ministry of Silly Walks" figure with the arms down...
@googleuser859
6 жыл бұрын
The zombie Luke looks like an extra from the MJ thriller video, it definitely has a very close resemblance to dancing Jacko. The Lea looks like she's just finished her dressage practice and hasn't been changed yet.
@goblinsrevenge
6 жыл бұрын
Great video, just goes to show that sometimes the official figures can just be as bad as the fake ones. I am surprised though that they didn't have a Willrow Hood figure.
@DeadAbeVigoda
4 жыл бұрын
He looks like he took the elevator from The Shining.
@SchlubbyTomHanks
3 жыл бұрын
i can't handle that flailing arms Luke figure, each time it changed positions it got funnier.
@Firestar4041
6 жыл бұрын
Banana visor, its the next level in space flight! Right up there with Starfoxes "cut your ankles off" technique.
@thebumblequeen6778
3 жыл бұрын
Luke "The Sasquatch" Skywalker is by far my favorite thing!
@Balrog-tf3bg
2 жыл бұрын
As far as action action figures go, I had an anikin and Obi Wan that you’d squeeze their legs and their limp arms would fly around with a lightsaber. It was almost better choreographed than the movie
@MrIcecolddd
6 жыл бұрын
The Luke Skywalker figure looks like that green guy off the old Scooby Doo cartoons!
@epicenter713
6 жыл бұрын
"I find your lack of cheer disturbing."
@Fluxicity
6 жыл бұрын
The Luke Skywalker figurine had me in tears xD
@LordOmarBush
6 жыл бұрын
I've never laughed that much with a KZitem video like I have with Luke saying "What are you doing Tony!?", shite
@HelloTardis
6 жыл бұрын
Good job on the possibly royalty free "Space Conflict style" intro music. Not even joking, that's well done wherever it comes from:)
@tgon13
4 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad i stumbled upon this channel, 5 stars lmao's all day
@migittank6759
6 жыл бұрын
If star wars Zombies were a thing it is a thing
@edudej
6 жыл бұрын
Red Phantom Vader invader.
@adrianwilliams7790
6 жыл бұрын
Just rewatched this vid and the flying Princess has a new meaning now. Talk about foreshadowing :) Well done gentlemen, well done.
@gray007nl
6 жыл бұрын
Just as I was about to go to sleep, Ashens think of my sleep schedule dammit!
@sirmugman
6 жыл бұрын
QUICK WE NEED STARWARS AND CHRISTMAS GO! err umm err ah aha AH YES I'VE GOT IT! "whisper whisper" YOU ARE BRILLANT YOU ARE GETTING A BONUS a red dathrader on a stand with some holly around him snow and his red light saber.....this seems more a poundland thing
@cakeisamadeupdrug6134
6 жыл бұрын
Ahhh remember that scene from Empire Strikes Back where Vader emerges from a lake of blood, shouting "HO HO HO MERRY DEATHMAS"? That was my favourite moment from the whole trilogy.
@taleleny5999
6 жыл бұрын
This is the quality content I subscribed for, this and the vomit food reviews with technical difficulties.
@aljr357
6 жыл бұрын
Stewart you are scaring my psyche for life with these videos.
@ChesuMori
6 жыл бұрын
That Luke Skywalker figure is amazing. I want it.
@M0B1US
6 жыл бұрын
the synchronous "kill me" made me spit my soylent all over the sodding place.
@SuperPerry1000
Жыл бұрын
It's funny, I actually quite like the Constable Zivo figure. Not every day you can buy a figure of a character left on the cutting room floor. A representation of what could have been.
@immortalslayer90
6 жыл бұрын
Few things make me happier than a new Ashens video.
@darknyeh553
6 жыл бұрын
I need a gif of 10:10
@maxscardanelli6185
6 жыл бұрын
darknyeh24 Don't we all.
@imyugioh
6 жыл бұрын
On it
@vintagedoctorgonzo
6 жыл бұрын
i.makeagif.com/media/11-18-2017/JgN8wz.gif You're Welcome. Sorry it took so long I only saw this comment recently
@TraxelAxel
6 жыл бұрын
I remember when Star Wars figures all came with a little box designed like a locker with a bunch of Guns in them like an accessory pack. It was probably over 10 years ago by now though. I also remember figures would come with a leg for a droid and you buy 5 figures each with a different part and build a droid once you got them all.
@ratking1608
Жыл бұрын
Ape Man Luke might just be the most fucking hilarious thing I've seen on KZitem.
@thegardenofeatin5965
6 жыл бұрын
Darth Vader figure: Reminds me of an old LucasArts game for the C64 called Night Shift where you played a factory worker making toys for "Industrial Might and Logic". And you had to paint the toys certain colors or you'd get it wrong. Well someone accidentally made a batch of red Vaders and went "What the hell are we going to do with these?" The Padme figure: Look At My Crotch Amidala comes with everything you see here. Go-Go cage sold separately, resemblance to the actress not included. Luke Figure: "Ugh, first I kiss my sister and then my mother stands like THAT?" Finn figure: with EXTREME SHIRT CHANGING ACTION! Leia figure: I'm with Ashens, it resembles Leia enough to be recognizable but it's generic enough that kids can play with it and actually have an imagination. Fat extra figure: These only exist for the obsessives. Kids don't want to play with that. They want to pretend they're actually in the movie. It's the one Coach Z bought. Constable figure: Yeah, that sounds about right. What you want to bet they'll stick the character in some cartoon or the next film and then price their existing stock stupidly high or something?
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