Gonna make a patreon exclusive talking more about the experience and less about the reaction ✨ 💃🏿Operatika- www.operatikaevents.com/ ✨Operatika instagram- instagram.com/operatikaevents?igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== 🤑Patreon- www.patreon.com/khadijambowe 🧦Merch- letsflawnt.com/
@dariasmeh
6 ай бұрын
the first 10 minutes of your video tells me that other people think they came with logic and feelings to justify why you shouldn't do it and why it's (morally) superior, and all the reasons you came up with were not logical and feelings based to enable you to make a decision. the folks criticizing seem to not understand that all of the points can be logical and based on feelings but it is about what you prioritize in your logic and feelings to make the decision to go. yes i'm a viewer but you ultimately are curating and creating this content as your daily life experience. so in the end you will explore what you are curious about and what satiates you further understanding who you are and who you are becoming. so in the end this is the path you are walking and it's like those people who commented feel betrayed cause you're their parental figure who they deemed perfect based on what they perceived was perfect and subsequently felt betrayed because the perfection that they created in their mind that you should be was not fulfilled to a tee.
@medinamcallister7204
6 ай бұрын
It’s crazy people were upset about your video with Jubilee , it’s very nuanced and engaging to hear your perspective as a queer black woman on certain topics in your videos so it was cool to see you discuss that side of you with other people on that platform.
@Dug252
6 ай бұрын
I’m just recently started watching you but I am extremely appreciative of the fact that you pointed this out to your audience. It’s so easy to be morally superior when in the comment section as opposed to in front of a camera or especially in person. Everyone is a Frankenstein of sorts who have different preferences and grew up in 1000s of different ways. As someone who doesn’t fit a certain box it’s extremely frustrating to find a group that doesn’t immediately assign attributes to me that don’t apply, because I am a multifaceted person. Social media has only exaggerated being in this echo chamber when we should be continually asking questions and facing people with differing opinions and perspectives to further our growth, if we did this more together I think there wouldn’t be as much of a divide as we see in our country today.
@benji777tm
6 ай бұрын
1:10 I had friend in elementary school who used to always say confuzzled.
@ReshonBryant
6 ай бұрын
👋🏽🧔🏽♀️
@N0T504N0NYM0U5
6 ай бұрын
My therapist gave me the Onion List strategy a couple years ago. She described it as asking yourself "why" until you peel all the layers and get to the ugly painful middle, and forcing yourself to sit with the true root of the problem. It sucks to do, because it requires seriously confronting the ugliest parts of yourself, but you get to rebuild a better stronger foundation for yourself. It's absolutely worth it.
@KhadijaMbowe
6 ай бұрын
Omg i love this!!! Thanks for sharing another tool
@ninaexmachina
6 ай бұрын
How do you know when you've hit the middle?
@da31133
6 ай бұрын
@@ninaexmachina this is a good question...i wonder if theres really a way w something so subjective and personal. I do this but didnt call it that method, i think you practicing you will find the answer. I dont think these kinds of things are like .....step, outlined, objective stuff. We just have to sit with ourselves and follow the thread. You know yourself more than anyone else ever could.
@Sophie_Pea
6 ай бұрын
@K.C-2049so much this. I’m 23 now, started doing self work and self reflection at 21 and just the immense personal growth I’ve been able to go through, and benefit from has been wonderful. And then meeting so many people, some late in their senior years who still should do that work has been something.
@Aussie_Archmage
6 ай бұрын
@K.C-2049 @@Sophie_Pea I was about the same age when it was brought to my attention that some others don't do this at all. My psych brought it up, called it meta-though. I think it's up there with learning that some people have no internal monologue, or discovering I have middling aphantasia and that isn't universal, as things that really changed my perception of the world. Wish I'd been more conscious and diligent about doing it though, might've saved myself some very embarrassing and honestly problematic years. Thinking back to digging myself out of that place, I wonder how many people have started down the path, only to retreat and collapse the tunnel behind them when they find something uncomfortable. A kind of subconscious survival mechanism. Equally, I wonder how many were just never offered the tool to begin with. A non-targeted bit of advice in case anyone ever reads this and it hits for them: If this Onion List/Meta-thought comes naturally to you, take the time to do it consciously, and apply it to the things that make you feel "positive" emotions as well as those that spark the "negative". A talented painter who never practices will not see the full benefits of that talent. (Those benefits seemingly being getting your work stolen to train a soulless black box to spit out farcical mimicries that are enough to satisfy the vast majority of those who might have otherwise traded the fruits of their labour for the fruits of yours... Actually the depressing reality of that is also a pretty apt comparison for some of what you might find at the root of your onion. Metaphor salad anyone?)
@melskmelsk
6 ай бұрын
Honestly I have a lot of hard lines these days. I have no bridging skills and I'm not likely to develop them. Something I've learned is that there's a place for people like me in movements and there's a place for people unlike me. I can be an activist, a disrupter, put my body on the line and be consistant in praxis but I'm not gonna be an organizer. I'm not gonna be changing many minds. I'm glad people like you are here cultivating and using those skills I lack Khadija ❤ I really appreciate your perspective
@collyflower6623
6 ай бұрын
Really love this!
@alylopez3721
6 ай бұрын
This resonates so much with me!!
@RainbowNanaki
6 ай бұрын
This is how I feel as well. I spent a lot of my teenage years trying to start conversations and change minds, but it took such an indescribable toll on me, and it's simply not something I am interested in or willing to do anymore. I don't want to debate my existence with people, I don't want to argue that I should be allowed to use public bathrooms, I don't want strangers asking me horribly invasive questions. Some might call it cowardice, but I'm at a point where all I want to do is help spread information and be left the hell alone.
@RexytheRexy
6 ай бұрын
@@RainbowNanakiI completely understand where you're coming from. I wanted to chime in and give a friendly reminder that when you're marginalized, there is *nothing* cowardly about or wrong with saving your energy for yourself, your life, and your well-being instead of spending that energy educating others/debating and defending your own existence. 💜
@xbluebirdx
6 ай бұрын
@@RainbowNanaki Same here. I am in a third world country where trying to open conversations about such movements can be met with disgust and ridicule to extreme violence and danger. I spread information mainly through social media and to friends and people who I know personally. I don't want to be a representative of the whole lgbt community or have to constantly debate "why I am the way I am" or take unasked for suggestions on how to be "fixed". I just want to live my life as freely as possible and try to do some good along the way.
@KatiCleo
6 ай бұрын
You are sorting through a lot of thoughts I've been having lately as someone in academic spaces where sometimes discussions get heated because the conversation diverges into a moral one instead of "ok but what does this actually do, what do we accomplish with this, what is the bigger picture?" Lately conversations going sideways into these kind of moral high ground arguments are so exhausting to me. I think many people already go into discourse spaces already angry from their own lives and then frame their perspectives from that anger. Which, can be honestly useful, and can bring forth a rapture to the conversation that can be much needed, but it can also easily miss the point entirely if not stirred properly. Exactly as you put it, we need to leave behind the assumption that certain of us have a moral high ground, or are basically innocents. There are no "good ones", no matter how much you recycle and eat vegan and respect people's pronouns perfectly, your happiness in our world always hinges on some form of exploitation and violence. Such are the trappings of capitalism and of our world at large. We need to be more willing to engage with conflict, and sit with tension, and accept that "ignorant" is our default position, not the outlier. But oh well, those are my two cents. I am looking forward to seeing the video, mainly haven't cause I've been busy. Thank you for the kind thoughts once again!
@ToMockaKillingBird
6 ай бұрын
Love what you articulated from this. I resonate a lot as someone who spent 6 years studying social sciences. I’ve been having a bit of a shift in the way I project and approach my own beliefs and values, and it definitely feels strange but I like this thought process of what can we do to actually bring about something productive.
@jessgirr1728
6 ай бұрын
As someone who leans libertarian I probably disagree with most people here politically but I absolutely love the way you articulated this and I agree with every word.
@ProletariatPrince
6 ай бұрын
Audre Lorde wrote about using our anger to create change rather than letting it foment into hatred of people and systems we cannot control and then fizzle into apathy and lose momentum. We are angry and we can use our anger. But we can't let our anger turn us against our allies.
@KatiCleo
6 ай бұрын
@@ProletariatPrinceyes, exactly! I love that quote! Anger imo can be very productive and literally an instigator of change, of dismantling systems, of mobilizing etc, as long as it doesn't turn into a destructive wrath that's only tearing things apart indiscriminately. I honestly get frustrated because I've been that person too when I was younger. I see people fighting on an individual level when there's whole ass effed up structures that us humans built (and thus can re- or un- build!!!!) that go by unnoticed as if they are invisible!! (now im angry again haha)
@akatastrophe
6 ай бұрын
Great points. I feel like one of the issues with online debates, like on Jubilee, can be the attitude people go in with, whether it be moral superiority or static anger that doesn’t care for change. I hope online debates can facilitate a safer space for people to be honest and open-minded with one another.
@aturtlecaldnick
6 ай бұрын
“if you only have the philosophical, thinky-cerebrally aspect of it, you’re only going to be able to connect so much” this was a WORD! For a long time i have considered myself exactly this, someone behind the scenes but not a messenger. i realized RIGHT before you said this that, yes i can be a GOOD organizer with this mindset, but a GREAT organizer is able to connect to people. A lot to think about, and i really appreciate your perspective 💞
@halanhart
6 ай бұрын
You rule and the weird parasocial purity tests have to end. You’re one of my favorite creators on the site. Much love!
@akatastrophe
6 ай бұрын
Definitely. People can be too quick to pounce on a creator without hearing the various contexts of their situation.
@JulianSteve
6 ай бұрын
Same here😏!
@NubianGoddess007
6 ай бұрын
Agreed!
@horizonkyun7203
6 ай бұрын
isn’t someone saying “i trust you” just as parasocial as saying “i’m disappointed”??
@momain5483
6 ай бұрын
I think you for sure have a point, but think of it more this way. "I'm disappointed" is usually a snap judgement and no further digging was done. It implies you have a sense of who this person is, that you know them and know this is something they wouldn't do because you know their character. "I trust you" should be more of a pause, let me see what going on here. There's no snap judgement, there's curiosity to find out why something is happening or being said. I don't know the full story, I don't know the depths of this person's thoughts, let me try and understand what's happening here. I don't want to assume this was the intent of what's being said here but this is how I operate. We should all be more open to hearing people out (of course, exceptions to every rule) and stop just assuming the worse when we see/hear something that we don't like on first appearance.
@mewmew6158
6 ай бұрын
Yeah, that's accurate
@lucariojet
6 ай бұрын
Absolutely, we can't avoid parasociality when engaging with a content creator in this way. That's where the intent of the parasocial interaction is valuable.
@beerson9474
6 ай бұрын
This is a good observation. The modality of content creation encourages a certain kind of emotional transference and illusory sense of proximity, which has its own interesting chemistry with a broader trend of extreme social isolation. People attempting to impose their expectations upon a content creator is an example of acting upon the illusion of proximity (it's giving relational aggression, without the relational part).
@da31133
6 ай бұрын
@@momain5483i think they referenced the comment of i trust you in the video, which IS based in someone believing they know Khadija enough to trust.
@meeeeepmooooop
6 ай бұрын
So, individuation...Khadija I'm basically hearing you ask to be regarded as an autonomous being, and that folks hold themselves as autonomous too, so interdependence can be the basis for this community and the people who interact with the content you put out. I'm so clear and so thankful and so on it. As someone (nigerian born and bred) experiencing newfound awareness around how most of my upbringing informed my conceptions of being in community rooted in codependency, guilting, manipulation and control, this video could not be more appreciated, I was one of those people, believing group think is the basis for community and those who disagreed were unhealthy, buying into individualism capitalism blah blah real hypocrite tings like you're saying, and let me tell you...I wasn't always communicated with the way you're clearly articulating so it just ironically meant more division. Hopefully folks are picking up what you're putting down because this is trauma healing and highkey reparenting content imo.
@KhadijaMbowe
6 ай бұрын
I have never heard this word before, thank you 🫶🏿
@meeeeepmooooop
6 ай бұрын
🫶🏿right back at uuu
@eun371
6 ай бұрын
Wuuuh, I'm Tanzanian and I totally related to what you shared about group think. Thank you for your comment, it freed me
@Mandalaaxo
6 ай бұрын
People forget that disagreeing with someone and not understanding someone or two different things. People that are arguing over and over the same arguments are not realizing that you do not agree with them, not that you don't understand them.
@ExoticalT369
3 ай бұрын
This is the comment that I came to this thread for. 👏
@abrenn
6 ай бұрын
A lot of people want others to change their minds but arent willing to actually do what it takes to change those minds. Yeah, some people are stubborn and ultimately no one can change if they don't want to, but assuming that everyone is like this is detrimental. It also takes time!! It's taken me almost a decade to get my mom to recognize the harm in capitalism, the general corruption of cops, and like so many other things I can't think of right this second. Also, I recently saw someone talk about the difference between hurt and harm and the gist was: Just because it hurts, doesn't mean you were harmed. It's a sentiment I'm still stewing in and I'm not sure I 100% agree with it, but it absolutely is true in a lot of cases and I think learning how to recognize the difference would probably be beneficial. (Editing to say one more thing: I feel like a lot of people still operate under a "they're monsters" mentality. Yes, they're absolutely horrible people. But they're still people. Removing their personhood means you will not recognize the same "monstrous" traits in yourself, in those you deem good.)
@sharonfieldstone
6 ай бұрын
+
@eli10589
6 ай бұрын
Can you explain the "just because it hurts doesn't mean it harmed you"? I'm a little confused. Also I'm trying to get my dad to understand how capitalism is detrimental to us. How did you get through?
@KhadijaMbowe
6 ай бұрын
Oooo love this “hurt” and “harmed” language as well. Much more specific cause I also get scared that we’re using therapy speak against people too
@abrenn
6 ай бұрын
@@eli10589the hurt ≠ harmed thing is something I’m still struggling to understand 😅 the way I currently understand it is like… the difference between distress and traumatizing. So like, the grocery store not having a food I really wanted is distressing but it’s not going to traumatize me. Grieving a loved one is going to hurt, but it’s not going to harm me. Someone being annoying in public is distressing, but it’s not harmful. I think it’s something that has a lot of nuance, and that wasn’t explored in the tumblr post I saw. It’s definitely something I want to fight when I hear it! Which means it’s something I need to sit down with and let it marinate. As for your dad, it honestly just depends on what type of person he is. Phrasing things differently could help though. So for example ‘capitalism creates poverty’ could rephrased as ‘it sucks that people that work really hard at their jobs don’t get paid as well as the bigwigs in charge that sit on their ass all day’. Break down the construct and bring it to a personal level. Sending infographics with something along the lines of ‘huh! Never thought about it like that!’ gives room for exploration and doesn’t give a holier-than-thou I know more than you feeling. And it sucks having to take baby steps!! It sucks having to dumb it down!! But you don’t start with calculus, you start with learning what numbers are in the first place. Being a kind and understanding source, so long as they’re respectful in return, goes a long way when others are quick to insult people for not already knowing. No one wants to learn from someone or see their perspective when they’re being berated for trying.
@eli10589
6 ай бұрын
@abrenn I understand now. With the dad part, I just wanted to get your perspective on that subject because I gave up trying to get through to my dad. 💀 It's just not worth it to me anymore. But thank you ✨️
@minale3604
6 ай бұрын
Comparing KZitem to Jubilee doesn't seem right to me. KZitem is a platform, whereas Jubilee is a KZitem channel based on inviting guests. KZitem doesn't make click-baity videos, it broadcasts click-baity videos. At most, KZitem can censor videos that don't respect their guidelines or use the algorithm to push aside "controversial" videos. On the other hand, Jubilee is in charge of deciding the debate subjects, choosing the guests, editing the videos (and cutting out some parts) and creating the thumbnails. Jubilee has a lot more control on the content that comes out of their company
@lindenshepherd6085
6 ай бұрын
Yeah…. I think Khadija has good intentions here, and I generally trust their judgement, but I don’t quite trust Jubilee. I used to watch their Middle Ground content obsessively because I had high hopes for the arguments and guests they chose, but at the end of the day they tend to pit undereducated allies or minorities against bigots. So many of their videos about trans people, feminism, parent rights, vaccine denial, and climate change encourage people in the comments to favor the views of bigots or objectively wrong people because they’re allowed to be the opposing side. In an honest climate change debate, you’d have different scientists or advocates from along the action spectrum, because we shouldn’t be debating whether global warming is happening. It is. That is a known fact, and the only people arguing against it are on the fringes. They’re not a legitimate “side” in a debate. When you want to bring on known transphobes and bigots and set them against random trans people or undereducated allies who just wanted to be allies, you’re treating minorities like their rights and humanity are up for debate. Not to mention, you can’t really compare a KZitem channel to the platform it exists on, because Jubilee has direct control over what guests and what topics appear in their videos. All KZitem can do is try to sort through their endless content. I won’t say I feel betrayed, and I’ll try to watch the video to have a more informed take, but at this point I just feel kinda disappointed.
@fedweezy4976
5 ай бұрын
Except KZitem also has an insane amount of control over their platform. They are the platform, they decide what is permissible and what people see, controlling the conversation by doing so
@lindenshepherd6085
5 ай бұрын
@@fedweezy4976 I suppose, but KZitem doesn't commission creators to make specific videos, bring on certain guests, or hand out scripts. For the most part, an independent channel can still function within KZitem's guidelines without obsessive monitoring and oversight.
@camcaasi2685
6 ай бұрын
My problem with Jubilee came from watching one of their videos that I think was pro vs anti trans. I don’t remember the specific episode but what really got under my skin was that the anti side literally started lying. They were spreading dangerous misinformation and the pro side wasn’t educated enough to rebut those talking points. They ceded the points to the bigots and it gave the impression that the lies were true. It’s not that I don’t think tough conversations should be online, I think the opposite actually, and your video on the channel was great; but I do think Jubilee should do better to moderate some of their conversations or try to keep an expert in the room especially when some of their conversations are so important politically.
@DramaStar754
6 ай бұрын
I've been watching your channel since the bridgerton video and I'm so happy to see how far you've come. Your perspectives and insights are so thorough and knowledgeable and I really appreciate what you do. Keep it up!❤
@KhadijaMbowe
6 ай бұрын
Thank you so much 🫶🏿
@SXJAYSX
6 ай бұрын
Damnnn she dropped the T to her own audience. Love it 😂 If I wasn't following from before I sure as hell would now hahaah
@CweenOfTheMark
6 ай бұрын
Bernie Sanders spoke on Fox to unite people and make them consider that the issues they’re concerned with are not too dissimilar from the other side. He went on to make people think.
@mustafahall3865
6 ай бұрын
Khadija, I wholeheartedly agree with everything that you said. I actually had a conversation abt this very topic w my best friend a few days ago. I think the larger issue here is activism in the last few years. In my eyes, activism and fights for social change have taken a very toxic and unproductive turn. We have been taught via social media to view anyone who has a different POV or makes mistakes as a villain. We see them as public enemy number 1. And while that is so incredibly understandable and difficult to maneuver, I question its effectiveness. Equity and structural change come from pulling people in and understanding rather than pushing people away bc we simply disagree.
@sammiesmith3454
6 ай бұрын
I remember watching Jubilee years and I cannot go back to it. It gives me too much negative energy.
@Lambda_Ovine
6 ай бұрын
this is the best addressing of 'backlash' i've ever seen. this is not just a "here's why i'm right and y'all wrong about this thing i did" but a genuine productive discussion about why we do anything at all, from appearing on jubilee to confront ideas we don't like, to why we react the way we react when we see someone we agree with doing something we personally wouldn't
@priscipline
6 ай бұрын
Ppl don't want to be agents of change. They just want to name call and argue.
@samanthagutz2428
6 ай бұрын
I found you through the jubilee video, and I really enjoyed the energy with which you answered the prompts and talked with the others. Loved what you said about people liking their own perception of us. I'm subscribing :)
@PokhrajRoy.
6 ай бұрын
I just saw a teeny tiny bit of the conversation and usual, Khadija was just absolutely funny, fabulous and a comforting presence. Also, I need the 411 on Greg who was seated next to you lol
@KhadijaMbowe
6 ай бұрын
Which side? We had to change seating a few times lol
@PokhrajRoy.
6 ай бұрын
@@KhadijaMbowe IT WAS GREG
@vanesasteves6922
6 ай бұрын
I think you have such a beautiful perspective in love, life and connection. Over and over again I see that THE most important thing in oir existence is CONNECTION and I see that you hold it as a priority, in whatever way that manifests for you and I apreciate that, you are wonderful ❤
@whychandler
6 ай бұрын
I RAN TO THIS VIDEO!!!
@katiesnider3137
6 ай бұрын
I appreciate the reasons you went on for the all same reasons you do. Mad respect
@NeverIfyWithTheSound
Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for be a fabulous example of how to sustain a platform that is as a public figure while maintaining personal boundaries and yourself in general.
@taishahw1696
6 ай бұрын
It may be beneficial for you to take your own advice, and measure your expectations of your audience and their opinions. *Their disappointment is irrelevant because they are strangers 👀 who will never know you. And to be honest the parasocial viewers are usually the ones who click immediately when you post and fill the comments with support before completing the video. 🤷♀️ I notice it on most successful creator's comments. The creators with a large loyal audience generally have a portion that have chosen to blindly support them based on positive assumptions they have made. The benefits can outweigh the negative, if you remember your audience is not filled with friends who's opinions can define you 🤷♀️
@PrincessLioness
6 ай бұрын
Yes parasocial relationships have positive benefits as well and creators are ok as long as it does.
@taishahw1696
6 ай бұрын
@@PrincessLioness Exactly 💯
@dreiaparratt787
6 ай бұрын
@@taishahw1696 you articulated it much better then I because I have no idea how anyone can watch this and not feel like it's contradictory as hell lol And to hear that she didn't get paid at that... Yea this vid was just to scold those for not giving unwaivering support
@zaireyoung9520
6 ай бұрын
I hate that these people are always the loudest… I love that you’re on jubilee I love that you took this opportunity you’re literally a philosopher
@Andrewism
6 ай бұрын
You're so real for this.
@KhadijaMbowe
6 ай бұрын
😭🖤
@ChocolatexCherries3
6 ай бұрын
i do think a lot of the outrage and disappointment was due to your own videos about them in the past tbh. it can be extra shocking to know someone has spoken out against a platform to then see them appear on said platform. however, your channel has always been about that nuanced convo with people we may not like or trust much so in retrospect, it is not all that shocking you did this tbh. it vibes with your whole channel and especially having finished the whole video now. your point about worship is so good. we need to unlearn stan culture as the mainstay of the internet i feel like as a society. it is causing more harm than good.
@qwandary
6 ай бұрын
I think it's reasonable for people to be 'disappointed' that a source they thought was reputable and balanced, went on a show like Jubilee which uses harmful dog whistles. Although your intentions were good, as you detailed in the video, it's known that Jubilee barely allows meaningful exploration of nuanced concepts, especially for the viewer. It's interesting to hear it was more meaningful for guests but the viewer doesn't see the in-depth, humanising conversations. We see dog whistles and handpicked individuals which sometimes poorly explain either side and barely allows nuance or resolving the issue. I would think you're familiar with the concept that intent isn't as important as impact. Perhaps those voicing disappointment are appealing to that concept? People speaking as though they know you as a person is annoying, but they can be disappointed with your business choices, as a personality; surely that's what many of them meant. I didn't really see that addressed, as you focused on the personal aspect and how much it bothered you. Your knee jerk reaction, basically, while accusing them of knee jerk reaction. Obviously some did, but what of those who didn't? It's making me think of Tirrrb's video on 'Addressing Jubilee's TERF Problem'; if you've not watched it, I recommend it. Then consider how some of these beliefs and experiences and concerns might have been what your audience thought you understood. Perhaps they're disappointed it didn't seem to be considered, or analysed. Perhaps they're disappointed because they felt you were using the wrong platform to do something they would otherwise respect. Rather than assuming they don't want you speaking to 'the other side' maybe they have issues with the 'unbiased' platform you chose, which, as mentioned, has major dog whistles and thus doesn't feel unbiased to many of us? The biggest message I got from this video was 'you don't know me, so don't judge me'. I know it's not your only message, but it seemed as though it was spent the most time on, and it was an interesting exploration but you also don't know your audience. Jubilee didn't make you know your audience, it expanded your perception of them, as it expanded our perception of yours. You don't know which of those audience are kneejerk responding or whether they desire an echo chamber. I probably won't revisit this video, as I anticipate a lot of replies that might not fully understand the spirit of my message here, but I hope some of it gets to you or has been expressed already.
@fae3821
6 ай бұрын
Good point about maybe the disappointment coming from a lack of consideration. I think there are some good critiques but the focus is on people who just wanted to be mean & feel "better" than someone. I wonder how much the Jubilee video will help and if this is Jubilee changing for the better, but🤷🏽♀️it's jubilee
@annasilverstein4579
6 ай бұрын
saji sharma has a great video on jubilee and some of their issues but i don’t think any of that is a reason to attack people for wanting to take part in a hopefully productive conversation
@SageThyme23
5 ай бұрын
I wish more people were like you. Its so tiring listen to someone complain over and over again about how no one changes their mind and how the entire world is doomed because no one is listening to reason... but then they never actually try to change people's mind in a way that would even remotely be likely to happen. No getting in to twitter fights is not helping anyone
@viviantompkins7925
6 ай бұрын
This video helped me in ways I don't even think I can explain right now. Thank you so much
@KhadijaMbowe
6 ай бұрын
🥹🫶🏿
@ArtichokeHunter
6 ай бұрын
I have checked like 4 times to make sure I didn't speed up this vid. Never had that on their vids before but it's jarring. I honestly don't know what Jubilee is but I don't totally get the comparison between it and social media companies/KZitem. Imo social media is more like a fuel company. It's complicit in things that are more or less destroying the world, but it's extremely hard to function in modern "Western" society without it. You can reduce your involvement, and a lot of people don't drive, but unless you're really willing to cut yourself off, you're gonna have some connection to it. (Unlike gas, which I have to pay for, I'm an adblocker girlie so KZitem doesn't really profit off me. And my social media love is tumblr, love to be unprofitable.) The BetterHelp comparison is hilarious tho because I was here when Khadija did that?
@venuslove-i1v
6 ай бұрын
Most people can function without KZitem.
@ArtichokeHunter
6 ай бұрын
@@venuslove-i1v I'm talking about all social internet, but honestly if you drive and aren't a mechanic and don't need youtube, I'm very impressed. A lot of jobs and school require youtube. Of course depending on where you live and how you live, you don't have to buy fuel, but you're either very limited by modern standards or encouraging someone else to buy fuel for you. My point is just that it's limiting, whereas you can never see or hear of Jubilee without losing anything in your life.
@venuslove-i1v
6 ай бұрын
@@ArtichokeHunter Yeah, but I think Jubilee is a big enough platform on youtube to get things across to more people, especially to differing sides of the polit ical spectrum.
@jaznappier7992
6 ай бұрын
And with that, I will enjoy your videos even more. This context is so important to how people engage. I’ve been trying to find the words for the phenomenon of people not being able to sit in discomfort, and the closest I’ve come to is “resilience@ in my own friendships and life, and this is SO helpful
@TheCurlygirly14
6 ай бұрын
I didn't know that you were on Jubilee, but after watching this video I watched the Jubilee one and I honestly enjoyed both of them 😊 It must've been quite something to be there in person and listen to all of the different stories and perspectives and get to share your own too.
@thiccbih2604
6 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this video! I have to say I also had a negative reaction to seeing you did a video with Jubilee, mainly because of their Palestinians vs Israelis video and how they tend to pit marginalized communities against their oppressors and frame it as an equal discussion, which I know you already are well aware of. Hearing your perspective on it has really made me appreciate you even more. I may not agree with everything you say and do, and that’s ok. I have loads of respect for you for always challenging us to see things from different perspectives, as well as acknowledging our own hypocrisies that are sometimes practically unavoidable. Keep killin it 🫶🏼🫶🏼
@fezco.is.superior6086
5 ай бұрын
I see what you mean but for me personally, that very first jubilee video filmed in jerusalem was really eye opening for me as it just shows how imbalanced the power dynamic between both parties is
@katepenkethman7704
6 ай бұрын
Grateful for you Khadija!
@emilierobinson8933
6 ай бұрын
damn girl! the way you’re letting us know where the boundaries are is refreshing! i respect it and it’s a good example of how to do it in my own life. also appreciate the explanation.. i need to hear it in its most simple form to understand it and it was nice to have a youtuber be direct about what they believe, even bringing comment citations. i’m with you on this one!
@jonathancangelosi2439
6 ай бұрын
To the people who said “you do you but I’m not watching”… Khadija wasn’t doing it for you.
@KateBrunotts
6 ай бұрын
nuanced conversations for the win! ❤ thank you for serving as a bridge for so many we need more of those
@GrandArchPriestOfTheAlgorithm
6 ай бұрын
I genuinely think that you can't actually win a debate without the mindset that you might lose. The reason being simple: To counter the argument you need to understand the argument, and to understand it, you have to give it the chance to convince you.
@princessnicki63
6 ай бұрын
I feel like people are overexaggerating? Because if anything, that video in particular was one of the healthiest conversations I've seen on that channel. Way better than what they usually put out (obviously until Sal started attacking Greg, which she was criticized for in the comments anyway) and I enjoyed it a lot
@markigirl2757
6 ай бұрын
OMG thank youuuuu I'm glad your standing up for yourself. It also made me annoyed for you seeing people being "disappointed" and I'm like u as well! I hate when people assume things but i learned to step up for myself and get the facts straight before i let them come up with what I am suppose to be.
@wadnold123
6 ай бұрын
In all honesty I’m commenting this before even starting to play this video. I too was a follower of yours who was skeptical about the fact that you were on Jubilee. But not because I question your actions to participate but more I’ve heard not so great things they’ve done. At the end of the day though I fully support whatever endeavors you want to pursue and am constantly in awe of how every video you’re apart of grounds/humbles me and makes me learn new things.
@ja3th3cr3ator
6 ай бұрын
A read! Mange your expectations with people you DO NOT KNOW.
@439801RS
6 ай бұрын
Kind of a paradoxical thing though, since if you don't know them, any expectation has equal odds of being right So expecting a stranger to be good is kinda the same as expecting them to be bad I guess ultimately you don't really get to be disappointed, when the expectation wasn't really based on anything in the first place
@westworlds
6 ай бұрын
For me, I just wonder why people feel the need to share every opinion. I also am not a fan of Jubilee and think they're mad sus. But instead of hate watching or lecturing you in the comments, I just didn't engage on those videos. Not every opinion or hot take needs to be shared. Silence or disengaging is a response. imo one really should pick their battles on moral takes with content creators / celebs in general. This is small potatoes big picture lol
@spifftastic87
6 ай бұрын
GET 'EM, KHADIJA Honestly though, love the reality check/read. Some of the comments took me by surprise, I had hoped better from this audience.
@artcowboy
6 ай бұрын
Lmao you’re like I don’t have that big an audience… I looked at ur subs and OMG I didn’t realize we were 600k strong omg :) congrats you deserve it!!!
@Spookybluelights
6 ай бұрын
You going on Jubilee makes total sense to me because it's a chance to talk to people outside our little bubble. I dislike Jubilee too and refuse to watch their content but I totally get why you would want to go on it and I genuinely hope the things you had to say on that video helped someone.
@garfieldboi524
6 ай бұрын
I respect you because you are empathetic and understanding, not because I find your opinions aligned with mine. I’m sorry people are parasocial and judgmental. As much as I do believe we could build a better world, I feel as though the puritanical and carceral thinking of online leftism holds progress back. Keep speaking up and calling us in as your audience members. Take care.
@elijahclaude3413
6 ай бұрын
I didn't even know you were on Jubilee!! Crazy! Might have to check it out indeed. Watching Jubilee videos is like watching a car crash for me, usually pretty bad and an almost perverse spectacle that you can't look away from easily... and I usually have to do so through another medium, lol. But occasionally, I have seen some people with some great ideas and such on there, and that is a beautiful thing to say precisely because it helps a lot of people see the light. So yeah, I can see your point and look forward to how it went!
@rosie8933
4 ай бұрын
Your comment about academia at 22:45 really spoke to me. As a first generation Latinx immigrant from a working class background, I would often feel disillusioned by the “circle jerking,” as you call it, in college. I kept thinking, who is this going to help? What are we going to do with this? Not sure if this has gotten any better as of late (I went to college many moons ago), but I wish there were more connections between theory and practice in learning institutions like universities. It feels so privileged to have high level discussions without tying it to questions of how to accomplish real societal change. Thank you for serving as this bridge. I don’t know you personally but I will go out on a limb and say the world needs more people like you!
@merlumili
6 ай бұрын
Tbh I'm happy you went to jubilee. Sometimes the people that are picked to be on middle ground have great points on their side but don't know how to express them in a way that reach the other side or the viewers, and I know you always speak your mind in a very clear way so you being on such a huge platform definitely helped build some bridges between openly queer and closeted queer people. Also seeing your face on the thumbnail made me actually click on the video and that made me see they have actual moderators on those shows now, which was very very very needed and I'm glad it's happening now.
@moushmakosa9111
6 ай бұрын
Leftist intellectualism can be so disingenuous and the belittling is very real. Thank you for articulating this so brilliantly . . . I dated someone who sought out twitter threads for outrage or conservative corrupt public figures to argue with, as an excuse to flex a linguistic muscle?This was all good til that superpower was directed at me tho, someone they had praised for being so smart or whatever -- or now after watching your video perhaps I was just a girl who they perceived or supposed was a mirror to their particular intelligence. Anyway when I asked them to investigate to the core (the layered why?)of what in particular it was that I did that was making them angry and why it made them angry ((because the core was literally that I had said on a platform 'my ex was planning to cheat on me bc they don't think I'm attractive' the week after they quite literally came to my house and told me they had planned to try and cheat on me with someone they fully desired)) they resulted to name calling, took shots at my body and said I was being evasive/gaslighty-they really fell back on internet vernacular criticism and black man bravado to explain I was never good enough for them anyway. Because they were a liberation comrade and because they loved me I couldn't understand how they didn't have empathy for me. I clung to trying to understand why they did things in their particular way even if it hurt me, but they couldn't give me that same benefit of the doubt or make room for my nuance. I could have done things better! But they always watched me with the intent of listing all the ways I did things wrong in the relationship. I love constructive points and being told how I could do something better or go about things in a different way, but being given grace is just as valuable to growth (as you always say love is space and grace!)being respected to know I'm doing my best really goes a long way. A lot of radical leftists, that have self inflated keyboard egos, want to be seen being smart to the point that their experience of the world, their emotional compass becomes 'fact'. Contradicting beliefs coexist at all times tho no one owns being right, no one owns every truth, putting a boundary around someone else's experience of the world and labelling it less valuable is...giving capitalism, lowkey. Personally I'm never completely sure my narrative should be the dominant one, I don't make it everyone's pedagogy - I hope that's actual open mindedness, and it's not because I lack autonomy but its because I recognize other people contain multitudes. . . . I may delete this comment because real talk I'm still scared of my ex or rather I don't want to disappoint the version of him he held of me or prove I never loved him by speaking my truth.
@madeleineruusu
6 ай бұрын
I clicked on this video because i was interested to see what kind if thoughts you had on jubilee and the environment of queer people, but instead i got this extremely thought provoking conversation about forming opinions! this has definitely given me reason to self reflect. thanks for being so honest
@johannesschutz780
6 ай бұрын
kudos for this video mama, for spilling. You're not the KZitemr we wanted but the one we needed
@sharonbaker3007
6 ай бұрын
Oh! And way to put the DBT in it! Distress Tolerance is a crucial skill, and since my almost 3 years of DBT coursework and therapy…I still see it as a struggle, and I have to be careful about how I bring it up. I don’t know what struggles another person has prior to the distressing experience. I’m appreciate the opportunity to learn from this though. Here’s an example. My roommate and I like only a sliver of the same kind of music. She LOATHES about 85% of what I love. It bugs me that she cannot cope when music she hates is in her space…but I don’t know what other things are already possibly overwhelming her at the moment. On the other hand, I can park my opinions for the most part. Other things distress me WAY more. I need to review my DBT cards!
@ItsAllLifesJourney
6 ай бұрын
I actually enjoy watching Jubilee sometimes. Even for the messy convos. When I saw Khadija's post saying there were going to be on there I definitely went to go watch it. I don't always get to have convos with people with drastically different opinions from me, which is why I like watching Jubilee from time to time. Yalls episode was pretty interesting, with some religious takes I was surprised by but also curious about.
@katie.mi.
6 ай бұрын
thank u for educating about media literacy, critical thinking, and distress tolerance! as a current sociology major, i relate to what u said smmmm
@Hope-ti3ts
6 ай бұрын
Your ending bit about Sociology made me really question why I’m studying what I’m studying. I think a lot of ppl really pride theirselves in being informed but never take action, myself included. Now you have me wondering whether I should switch my major lol, but idk what I could switch it too that would allow me to be more of a change maker.
@l.j.1417
6 ай бұрын
My guy, I am so happy you exist. Your videos always make my brain excited. I love that you addressed everything calmly while sticking to you.
@joannelee8735
6 ай бұрын
I watched the Jubilee video and really appreciated your presence on it! You spoke with so much compassion and understanding, and I’m glad you were included in that lineup of people. I’m sorry you got harassment online from people over this, but I appreciate your contribution in that video!
@SarcasticQuokka
5 ай бұрын
Came over from the Jubilee video. I try to follow "both sides" politically to an extent but there is so much noise and not enough communication. Respect vs respectability and "why are you sending them the video?" questioning then getting to the/a root cause (emotion) points were made so eloquently - I wish I saw more content like yours. Looking forward to watching more :)
@slickandslaycious6579
6 ай бұрын
Just wanted to say the logic was logicing, the care was caring, and the truth was true… Keep on changing the minds (consensually ofcourse)
@slickandslaycious6579
6 ай бұрын
Also, maybe it's just me and my particular queer history.... But people thinking they know you when they don't is sooooo reminiscent of them taking our gender/sexuality and giving a dsm types of label
@Ruhrohraggy23345
6 ай бұрын
You spoke nothing but clear and well verbalized facts. Respect.
@human_plant
6 ай бұрын
I understand why people hate Jubilee, because they uncritically present factual information and people's harmful incorrect opinions as equally valid and worthy of debate. However, I would never get mad at a creator for going on there to stand up for the queer community. I just hope they treated you well, sorry that people are weird. I've seen several creators I follow go on there for various reasons, and it never occurred to me that it was unethical on the leftist creator's part 🙄 people need to stop confusing actual harm for something making them mildly uncomfortable‼️
@symbioticmango
6 ай бұрын
+1 to being a bridge!! SO needed. Folks on the left seem to think how difficult it actually is to change a mindset from state-sanctioned indoctrination and authority (which leads to defensive behavior). Folks like you are able to think, reflect, and react in certain way because you've been PUTTING IN THE WORK to build the habit of responding with curiosity.
@RarelyAChump
6 ай бұрын
I really value your philosophies. There's never a moment that doesn't seem at least fair
@noraheist
6 ай бұрын
I absolutely agree with the need for distress tolerance. I feel like we are very secluded from stressers on the internet so much that it causes bubbles that keep shielding us from other opinions. Therefore we get so distressed when confronted with anything that we panic and lash out, can't get over them because we get progressively less used to it. I guess you could say we are actually getting,,,,,too soft
@alunoodalmheiri7028
6 ай бұрын
I salute u for wanting to have a conversation with people who are different from u, because what social media has become for alot of people is just a giant echo chamber where they go on only seeing their point of view repeated over and over and over again. I just wish u didnt take the haters' bait, and deny getting paid a lot of money. Its nobody's business, honey!
@Chachixo
6 ай бұрын
I loved the discussion about the intention behind wanting someone to change their mind/why it matters - I think that's a major part of maturing that people don't really discuss often. My elders called it learning to mind your business, but sometimes I think that sounds too harsh for people to be receptive to it and it takes time to really discover the scope of what is and isn't business you want/ought to be involved in.
@elledoeslaw675
6 ай бұрын
Your point about surrounding yourself with people who think exactly the same way as you (and in turn thinking the world thinks the same way you do) really resonated with me. I’m from the UK and one thing that was found after Brexit was that in the months before the referendum, ‘remainers’ typically only saw content which confirmed their views, which led to complacency and reduced voter turnout. That really woke me up to the importance of exposing myself to a broad range of opinions and critically thinking rather than following the crowd.
@StrangeDew
6 ай бұрын
Honestly, respect. To me, it's exhausting having to hang around people that don't align with me. But maybe that's because I had to spend a lot of time around condescending assholes. 🤣
@melanino
6 ай бұрын
I mean, Idc that you went on jubilee. Glad you got your bag and got the conversation you wanted and needed, I think the reason I dont mess with the "controversial" jubilee videos, is probably because talking to the people that are never gonna see you as human is something I cannot do anymore. I've tried once to people i thought were my friends only to realise that wow, even thought they know me, they still hold incredibly shitty views and have no qualms to hurt me. I agree for what youre saying about platforming and etc. But just for me personally, I just can't do it anymore, I have been dehumanized too long and I'm trying to avoid thoses people as much as possible. Love you a lot though and I will see you at the lion d'or❤
@a.dgirlstar4721
6 ай бұрын
Did u watch the video? She said 1000 times she GOT NO MONEY 😭
@gabriellellanes9297
6 ай бұрын
i don’t usually comment on videos but i really appreciate your thoughts on this video. just because people are leftist or progressive does not mean they’re open minded, being truly open minded and open to change and discussion is so crucial to alleviate distress and bridging gaps. this video really resonated with me, thank you! have a good day!!
@damianalmonte389
6 ай бұрын
You said it so beautifully! you are so right in assuming the good faith of your viewers. I saw it was jubilee and felt it was off, but i also know you wouldnt do something if you didnt feel it was going to be useful or constructive in meaningful ways.
@wabbledonkey
6 ай бұрын
I like how you're just a human, being a human and wondering while you wander. We're always shifting and changing as people which is a beautiful part of being alive. The fact that youre not afraid to step outside the echo chamber and explore is just wonderful to me.
@RazMurillo
6 ай бұрын
Beautiful video. I used to find it hard to watch content or be online without having to be right all the time, I still do sometimes!! But making it my problem to sort out and not other peoples’ is a big way that I’ve felt better in my interactions with others, and it often extends kindness to both parties in the process :)
@lucyferos205
6 ай бұрын
I don't think open-mindedness has to do with emotion or spirituality. Actually, I think it's by transcending our emotions that we can better examine our own biases and become more accepting of information that we would otherwise be reactive towards. If you really desire to understand something, that does include respectful curiosity and actually listening to them. I agree with that. I simply think that this comes from, you know, not taking emotions seriously out of an awareness that they're not reliable sources of accurate judgment. I think that is a purely intellectual exercise, which I think is the ideal. I know that's a little semantic, but the semantics are very important to me.
@francollins806
6 ай бұрын
some us definitely are here for EDGING CONVERSATIONS! 😊and we love that you do what YOU want to do
@ReillyRainAsmr333
6 ай бұрын
love to see a dbt mention!! distress tolerance is so important!!!
@HG-ie6qm
6 ай бұрын
I don’t understand the point you were making about not sending people your videos to try and educate people, only because sending an informative video is literally a very neutral way to try and reach someone, and I actually thought that was the whole point of educational content? You are acting like it’s an act of violence LMAO. I didn’t get that, but maybe I misunderstood. I hear you with the rest of it tho. Reasonable people disagree, and typically they don’t parasocially and aggressively attack people who move differently than they would. You do you.
@HG-ie6qm
6 ай бұрын
Also I like your jubilee video. I dabble in jubilee but it’s been a long time since I watched til I saw you pop up there. You did a good job. It’s important to connect with different audiences and I admire your effort to do so.
@kweenz600
6 ай бұрын
I think the point is just to think through your intentions when you send the video. Is the intent to generate curiosity, to shame someone with different views from you, to share a video you really enjoyed with someone who had similar interests? Just taking time to think through your motivations.
@SabrinaMarieAlvarez
6 ай бұрын
I had no problem with you being apart of their video. Also, watching the was not only nice to hear more views and perspectives, but helped with how I’ve been feeling about myself in coming to terms with my sexuality
@zyishere
6 ай бұрын
I’m glad I listened to this, wasn’t going to give it watch originally bc I didn’t agree with some of the criticisms you received but you always give me some food for thought to take away for your videos. Keep doing you Khadija, appreciate channels and PEOPLE like you who care about bringing people together instead of apart 💖
@kezia8027
6 ай бұрын
Wait wait wait, you're telling me you want to be honest, communicative, able to change your mind and to discuss topics openly and honestly? But that's so different to your usual style! /s
@SgtKaito
6 ай бұрын
I don't have the words yet but this video has got me thinking a lot, so thanks for that!!!! I know I'm going to learn stuff, just going to need time to process what you said!
@RixxeyG
6 ай бұрын
I love your curiosity. I love how tactfully straight-forward you are in how you express yourself. I love the types of conversations you want to encourage among your audience. I love that you try to lead by example. I’m so grateful a creator like you exists, Khadija! ❤ I’m going to put my money where my mouth is and subscribe to your Patreon. Your hard work and hard-earned insights are appreciated. ☺️
@Strawlighte
6 ай бұрын
Baaaabe i feel so strongly that time is dwindling and its terrifying but I’m trying to find the way things are changing for good.
@mickeyonieke2861
5 ай бұрын
Honestly, this video made me like Khadija even more. I've also had a hard time with political labels as on some issues I "fall in line" with other leftists, on others I'm seen as "too politically correct" and some issues I'm seen as having more "LiBerAL" beliefs. So, I felt like I wasn't a "real" socialist/leftist. But hearing them talk about having a kinda "collage" of ideas feels very affirming.
@a_real_one2000
6 ай бұрын
Jubilee is the worst in terms havin discussion with meanful material substance. Khadijah speck with conviction & backed with knowledge & can hold their own in any place. Miles better then jubilee so if Khadijah can go on & get folk to see actual left politic positions. The only thing to worry is not havin control over the edit.
@noah6
6 ай бұрын
I love how the intro is just a nice way of calling us fucking dumb lol
@zackwilson8701
6 ай бұрын
well said. As I've moved into my early 30's, my politics have grown more radical as my disillusionment has grown, but I've gotten better at understanding that we're all living in the grey, that we can't build coalitions and get organized if we're constantly judging one another. I have a feeling a lot of the more heated perspectives online are coming from the youngest of us, college-aged kids, who are the most committed on some level, but they're also at their most black and white in terms of how they see the world and morality. I think we can appreciate the kids' courage and dedication while showing a bit of grace when they get all name-calley and dogmatic. There's something about being that age and still feeling invincible.
@junoestro
6 ай бұрын
amazing video amazing points. really made me rethink stuff. ty for making this
@shineefive
6 ай бұрын
i literally love u sm ur mind is so refreshing on the internet!!!
@jreamscape
6 ай бұрын
How are people commenting about the video after 12 mins and it's a 30 min video
@blobby883
6 ай бұрын
2x speed
@headachefromgod
6 ай бұрын
early release on patreon
@raulalvarez5021
6 ай бұрын
Gonna go off about the actual video on Jubilee a bit and say, I feel really bad for Sal who is getting a lot of shit for being very direct and even "aggressive" about her questions to Greg. Like honestly there SUCH a whole conversation that could have been had about his position (And as you said! Im going to assume much more was said about it), and I was literally with you when you had to ask Greg to confirm that his celibacy was religious based and not some sort of ace-aro deal and then the whole thing about "Is love the sinner, hate the sin" which will always rub me the wrong way, because its ultimately stating "queerness is a sin and I believe people shouldn't engage in it". Like I think thats the part that challenged me the most about the whole video! It felt like Greg had good intentions but is either unable or unwilling to understand that his beliefs are homophobic, no matter how much he smiles and presents them to seem as harmless as possible. Like not to be mean but its just giving "Polite bigotry" and its so sad because he is subjecting himself to it due to having such a huge sense of admiration to a version of Jesus that is not accepting of him. I just dont buy this idea of "Im celibate because my sexuality is deemed wrong by my religion" as a healthy stance. Not because celibacy or being sex disinterested or repulsed is bad AT ALL, but because this stance suggests that he WOULD enjoy seeking out queer experiences but never will because the belief system he is under wont allow it.
@LethalLemonLime
6 ай бұрын
I agree with most of what you're saying but I disagree that watching jubilee or being jubilee is the same as watching KZitem or being on KZitem. it's imho like saying going to America is the same as going to Israel. imHo.
@savxklbr
6 ай бұрын
Khadijah in her Doja Cat era
@KhadijaMbowe
6 ай бұрын
😂😈
@Karen-0
6 ай бұрын
The fucking fact you had to entertain the upset is fucking wild considering the entire tone of your channel is “you can always change your mind” which requires you to TALK to people who think different. Wild. You do you.
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