Hi indie people! Hope you enjoyed this video! What could you relate to in this video? This is part of a week of videos on the channel, click the link for more >>> kzitem.info/door/PLU7asIuC9SU_E6MD140qnOh7n31IduIXL
@laurenkay6258
4 жыл бұрын
I have Asperger's Syndrome. I have just found your channel and I think it's great. I definitely think I mask my autism. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a choice but to mask my autism. Even Infront of my family I have to mask my autism. I can't do many of the behaviours that I would normally do in my own home such as hand flapping and rocking back and fourth. I live independently at 24 years old and have done since I was 18. I feel like I am helping my family by masking my autism because when growing up I don't think my mum could cope with my autism and I felt so useless and I felt like I was upsetting so many people in my life because of my behaviour. I feel like over the years things have got better with my family because I mask my autism allot more and am able to hide how I really feel. Your videos are educational. I am learning allot. I have just subscribed to your channel.💜
@imjuanalonso
3 жыл бұрын
Is it possible to mask for most of your life without been contious about it? Is it possible that I don't know who am I really because I have been masking my whole life? Since the lockdown I have noticed becoming more child like, happy, innocent. Before that I was quiet, reserved, serious, people used to say I was unfriendly, intimidating, arrogant and even self centered. Throughout my life I always felt "different", like an outsider. Not understanding the world. Now I wonder what is going on with me and weather I'm just acting this way to fit in the box of autistic to justify my inability of get things done and why I'm sometimes not nice with people. But I do feel much more relaxed and happy been "child like" and innocently friendly with everyone. Once again, is it possible I have masked all my life not knowing and because I did it for most of my life I simply forgot who I really was?
@fk3239
4 жыл бұрын
Maybe this is my problem. Something definitely isn't right with me. When I'm alone I feel so open, but when I am around most people I feel like my personality turns off and I just default to quiet and polite because life is easier that way, though it's absolutely tiring. Even then I notice that a lot of people will speak to me different than they do others, and I can't tell if it's because they can see through it (see what, nothing?) or because the quiet, polite mode just draws this behavior from them. Even with my friends, I really don't know how real I am with them. Can't think of any specific moment where I was outwardly "myself" other than when I'm alone. Feels like I'm the only one that has a clue about myself, and it seems like even that's going out the window. Always felt distant and weird, and after years of introspection, it feels like I'm also distancing from what might be my true self.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hi there! Yeah I get what you mean like you can't be your true self around others? That to me sounds like you are wearing a mask which I can't say is a bad thing because sometimes that is what we need to do you know. But I guess what I'd say is that you should know that this is a something that others experience too. So I hope that this doesn't make you feel as alone if that makes sense.
@TylerSimonds
4 жыл бұрын
I relate to this stuff. Thx for sharing
@miriyumyum3590
4 жыл бұрын
I feel the same, unfortunately iver time I forgot how to put off the mask. I hate the mask-me actually I would really like myself if I could be myself around other people, but my social anxiety makes it really hard. My brother is the only person I can be myself around right now.😕
@telayajackson1.0
3 жыл бұрын
Oh my. That is so me.
@FREAKOFNATURE-mb8oo
3 жыл бұрын
Woah...you just describe the wgole argument i had with myself this morning.
@Andrea-rw9tf
4 жыл бұрын
You’ve got eyes like pools of water, pretty
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Awww thank you very much!
@basssurfer1868
4 жыл бұрын
I remember how I used to flap my hands and spin in circles all the time, I remember so much of the things I used to do that was classically autistic. But now I don’t do those things anymore, it’s not there’s no impulse to, I’ve just reflexively learnt to stop myself from doing those things without thinking about it. I feel like I’m a shadow of who I could’ve been if I could’ve just been my true autistic self. Now I can fit in just about anywhere, in fact I once had someone respond “no you’re not” when I told them I was on the spectrum. The last autism specialist I saw said I presented with what you would typically see with female Aspergers (I don’t know why but I took great pride in that) and that if I had a panel of 100 psychologists in front of me, probably only three could tell I was autistic. I feel like I’m so out of place from who I am with autism, it’s been a part of my life for so long and only in recent years have I truly accepted it as a part of my identity. But now I feel I’ve masked for too long and too well that I just don’t belong anymore. I’m certainly not neurotypical, I just don’t feel I fit in at all.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hmm I can kind of agree on that. I mean for the good few years, I never truly thought I could be autistic and people often questioned it. Think masking has alot to do with that which is why I believe that it can be a negative especially when it comes to identify. But I guess some advice would be to try and find things about yourself that you like or things you just feel like you want to do. Doesn't seem like much but definitely taking things slow might be good 👍
@basssurfer1868
4 жыл бұрын
IndieAndy i think there certainly is positive and negatives to masking, it’s something that should be talked about more on the affects it has on a person with autism. I really appreciate the advice as well
@RatsPicklesandMusic
3 жыл бұрын
I relate to you a lot!! I'm just finding out now that I think I'm autistic, but I know almost no one else would truly see it without me having to go into great detail about my own feelings and inner workings. I think I've also made myself reflexively mask to the point where I can't not mask anymore and it just feels normal. I'm afraid to tell people because one, I'm self diagnosing at this point, two, most people probably wouldn't believe me, and three, I'm not even sure a therapist or psychologist would take it seriously.
@RatsPicklesandMusic
3 жыл бұрын
Btw, I'm female.
@brandonmichaelhair7891
2 жыл бұрын
@@RatsPicklesandMusic I’m in the same boat
@sta_rlight5564
3 жыл бұрын
I made myself turn into a extremely outgoing and loud person. Btw, I have autism as well. I copied people’s behaviours and the way they talked. I thought speaking very fast and loud means you’re more dominant and likeable but i was wrong. I got extremely exhausted because I kept talking nonstop and went offtopic . I really wanted to talk less because I’m naturally more calm and because of the fact that it’s hard for me to breathe since I have asthma and I’m not taking slow deep breaths. I honestly lived my life copying every trait, behaviour and clothing style of people for years in high school. Now I’m in college and finally changed because I got so sick of people pleasing. I didn’t even gain friends when I copied everyone lol 😂
@IndieAndy
3 жыл бұрын
Hmm I don't know how but people tend to say that you just know when someone is faking it. But to be honest, just being yourself is the way to go 👍
@cozmo2129
2 жыл бұрын
honestly I have the same experience
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@delilahhart4398
3 жыл бұрын
What annoys me is when people tell me I should smile more often. I'm not good at fake smiling, because I look funny when I do it. One good thing about wearing masks to guard against COVID is that there's less pressure to smile.
@reneenikol22
2 жыл бұрын
Do you ever make facial expressions that you wouldn't make if you weren't wearing a mask? I find myself doing that a lot when I'm wearing a mask it's kind of freeing in a way
@delilahhart4398
2 жыл бұрын
@@reneenikol22 Probably. If I do, I don't think about it. LOL
@relentlessrhythm2774
2 жыл бұрын
Masks were fantastic for hiding behind.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@stjeep
Жыл бұрын
@@reneenikol22 i cant stop making faces, i do it subconsciously, its not like it ruins my life but it has made me very self conscious along with other things so ive been avoiding going out for years because i try really hard to control myself and sometimes cant
@oofihavenousernameideas2451
4 жыл бұрын
I’ve literally been doing this for the longest without realizing it. I remember sometimes even telling myself “okay company is coming over, time to act normal”
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
It's weird isn't though that you feel the need to be X person in front of X people.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@twinkiefluff8868
4 жыл бұрын
Funnily enough, when I was in middle school, all my friends really liked watching anime like Naruto, and it’s what my group liked talking about! I didn’t really care about it, at the time I was obsessed specifically with My Little Pony and The Legend of Zelda, things my friends didn’t care about. I forced myself to watch the show and try to like it so I would fit in with my friends, but it burnt me out in the end, I would go home and hardcore indulge in my real interests alone! It’s funny to tell people I did this, because liking anime isn’t normally thought of as an interest you get into to fit in x’D I was even a bit of an outcast in the nerdy friend group!
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Aww wow that's definitely different though the principal is the same to a degree. Like in school, I was really into my indie music (hence the name IndieAndy as that love hasn't left). But my friends were into their heavier music which I got into because they were into it... But I ended up liking some of it but it was the trends I had trouble keeping up with. But yeah I have to say I would be loved having more nerdy friends like that 😂👍
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@holliew36
4 жыл бұрын
Definitely draining, leads to shutdowns and burnout and even worse... multiple identity crises. Thanks for sharing this info dude :)
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Hollie ☺️ It certainly does which ultimately isn't helpful in the long run. But I'm glad you found this video helpful 👍
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@katmie
3 жыл бұрын
So...I just realized I may have been masking my whole life 😬 this explains why I’m so different at home vs in public. All my “odd” behaviors come out at home where I know I won’t be judged. Really wish I would of got diagnosed as a kid but at least everything makes sense now 🤷🏻♀️
@cockycookie1
3 жыл бұрын
Think of it this way: if you had been diagnosed as a child you would've spent your whole childhood subjected to discrimination and ableism. At least us undiagnosed folks got a chance to have a typical childhood.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@Graemyr
11 ай бұрын
@@cockycookie1Idk if the crippling depression, confusion, and lack of coping mechanisms were a worthwhile tradeoff
@sukifaise7184
4 жыл бұрын
I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but I'm suspicious. All of my life I've displayed this behaviour, if I'm trying to relate/befriend someone, and seem to be failing, I will observe something they love to talk about and research it / watch it / listen to it obsessively. Then try out my new learned knowledge on said person. Your video was very informative, thank you.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@DeborahAnnsuperversatile
4 жыл бұрын
I am either an "actress" to try to fit in. Or I live in the dark, so to speak. Both wear on me. There is really no winning. Lol
@VlrglnMary
3 жыл бұрын
Lmao same people probably think I’m bipolar
@DeborahAnnsuperversatile
3 жыл бұрын
@@VlrglnMary yeah, even I wonder if I act bipolar. It is kind of hard.
@kayleighegerton7030
5 жыл бұрын
I mask due to fear of being judged and stared at...it is exhausting 😔
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Yeah that is very true the same for me. Like I will mask just to get by but most of the time, it is a stupid mask that doesn't work really 😄
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Aww I'm sorry to hear about the G T 😢 People are just trying to be themselves and that is awesome in my eyes. To be victimised for that is wrong!
@badassgamerdude2541
4 жыл бұрын
I know where you’re coming from. I try masking when I go out in public.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah it isn't easy on the person to mask for sure.
@blakeantinori2107
3 жыл бұрын
Than keep social interaction to a minimum
@fizzy965
5 жыл бұрын
I guess in a way I've had to hide my interests at times to try and fit in. Especially when I was growing up. Kids these days seem to want to grow up so fast but I just wanted to be a kid and play games when every one else just wanted to 'hang around'. I found it boring! I tend to tone down my fashion sense too in order to fit in with the rest of the world. I prefer bright colours but if I wear bright pink trainers everyone always assumed I'm about 16 because I look young for my age. (I'm 30) I don't mind looking young. Everyone wants to look younger but it's the way people treat me as though I'm still a child that bugs me. So it's both a blessing and a curse. In the past at work I've had to just get on with it and in reality I'm totally freaking out, worrying about every little thing and terrified of doing something wrong.
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Ooh that is a great point actually and I get where you come from. Like sometimes I just want to do kid stuff even though I'm 26 and work full time but it looks weird... But it is just fun 😂
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Also with the work comment... It is a real problem for me.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@tegan-maiclark1773
3 жыл бұрын
i am sat here in tears, i have thought my whole life that i am just weird, this caused me to mask my autism. when i was younger i used to bite my tongue when i was mad and it calmed me down, i used to bite my nails when i was scared/anxious, i stimmed in public, thats not even half of what i did. as i grew up i got bullied so much that i just stopped doing this stuff and i was really ashamed of doing it. i try to be more open about it now but still struggle at times. but the fact that other ppl have been through the same makes me feel sm better :)
@DeneceTheSylcoe
4 жыл бұрын
For me, I've only just realized recently that I've been masking. (Maybe. I was diagnosed in May so I'm still new to this) I've only very recently began to embrace certain aspects of my aspergers. As I've been learning and connecting to my aspergers I've realized I've been masking all my life. Probably why I was diagnosed so late. It feels nice accepting and embracing my aspergers more.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Natalie! That is really great to hear that you are embracing it! But to be fair masking is one of the factors that can lead to later diagnosis however I'd just think that this is the now you know. Hope you are well!
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@natalie5976
3 жыл бұрын
I have done this my entire life. My mom has even had to coach me to “fake it til I make it” and pretend to be normal so I fit in. I think I may be autistic but it would be so obvious that I don’t know how I wasn’t even tested as a kid.
@IndieAndy
3 жыл бұрын
Hmm hindsight is a great thing. Think if people weren't looking or didn't know then it's pretty easy to miss at that time
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@The3ddfan
4 жыл бұрын
It's worst when I find myself masking around people with whom I should be comfortable. I should be fine with friends and family, but sometimes, it feels like I'm playing some political game with no set goal and no relief in sight. I didn't really come to terms with my diagnosis in any meaningful way for a while. That happens when the diagnosis comes on the heels of certain events. Nothing too major, but I didn't exactly enjoy the events leading up to the psychologist's office, and hostile attitudes prevailed for some time. Regardless, I always figured it had more to do with my introversion that I couldn't handle some social situations. Now, I can point out various times when the mask cracked. Never shattered, but perhaps cracked was enough. I couldn't maintain eye contact. I was overly aware of details about my appearance, movement, and posture, and everything seemed wrong no matter what. My speech was unfocused, and I wish I just kept quiet, even when addressed. I need a way, not to meet people on their level, but to have them meet me on mine. Frankly, I don't even know what my level is.
@yrdjuret
4 жыл бұрын
Always thought everybody else was masking/playing a role, that my problem with masking just was that I'm bad at it, that it doesn't come naturally. So I get massively tired and still stand out as weird. Just discovered that autists are people like me, that I am autistic. I'm much less alone than I thought. What I really struggle with is that it means that non autistic persons are different. Do they really not mask as I've always thought, for example? As far as many autistic traits are concerned, I actually have seen it from the perspective that most people (aka non autistics) aren't in contact with there deeper feelings-emotions-motives. Now, do I really have to believe I was wrong about this all along? I'm 66 and retired now...
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Jon, I think the masking conversation could apply to non-autistics but I think it's more to do with some autistics suppressing or trying to be more "normal" to pass as non-autistic by suppressing traits or behaviours. Which I guess non-autistics could do the same thing but I feel there it's abit different between the two. That's just what I think really.
@MomoNoHanabira
3 жыл бұрын
@@IndieAndy I don’t know if you’ll even see this or reply, but I shared something to do with this on my fb to be met with a quite close friend saying that EVERYONE does this, and while I do agree people try to fit in and appear “normal” I was trying to convey my point that for autistic people it is extremely detrimental (having done it a lot over the years and now really have no idea who I am as a person and my real likes and dislikes) and was saying that people shouldn’t post things like that on the internet unless they’re professionals as it can confuse people. Anyway, because she has a brother and 3 cousins who are autistic and have high support needs anyone who is able to get by is obviously not going to be autistic enough. I tried to explain as best as I could about autism being a spectrum but I’m just not that articulate (or confident) in myself. It’s actually really annoyed me cause at one point when I told her about my diagnosis she said that I didn’t seem autistic cause I seem fine (que masking🤷🏻♀️).
@whodatninja439
2 жыл бұрын
everyone does it yes, but autistic people just have to work much much harder. it takes many years to learn and even then many cant do it
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@pendantpending7660
3 жыл бұрын
the more comfortable I get with someone, the more I start to open up to them & show them how I really am
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@mariapacheco7359
4 жыл бұрын
I'm realizing that I been masking for the longest time, I'm afraid that I don't know how I am, or what are the things that my body and my mind need to do in my normal behavior. It feels like been Elsa from frozen, having a beast inside me. Well in any case, the first step is recognizing. Thank you for your video. It make me feel less alone in my personal captivity.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Maria! To be honest without outside influence or sources, you might not see others points of view and why you are the way you are if that makes sense! But I'm glad that this helped you!
@jadenbandit1204
3 жыл бұрын
Funny because, Elsa is actually autistic jsjsk
@growmance2191
3 жыл бұрын
I hide my autism spectrum traits all the time . Cause the world can be unkind and it's hard at times. My neurotypical co workers I tend to mask by being funny and doing food puns as I work in produce at at a store.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@mikiavidan508
4 жыл бұрын
I’m 46 and been high masking since I was around 7 before that I stood silently in the corner of the playground in utter confusion. I like to find out as much as possible about others around me so that I don’t have to talk about myself. I keep my special Interests to myself, unless someone else shows interest in one of my current special interests.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@frankgonzales115
4 жыл бұрын
Masking in bursts can be fine, especially in social situations to appear "part of the crowd" and no longer the "wallflower of my childhood".. I learned to study people, almost as test subjects, to learn how to do what they do. Learning the BS conversations, the non sense conversations, I see, are the hardest to manage. Now at 42 years old I cannot mask much longer tho. Balancing the true self with the presented self seems to get harder as I get older. It does wear the soul.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hmm I mean masking is burst is fine however like you say it's very difficult to do long term.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@RandomDH
3 жыл бұрын
I’ve struggled to find autism specific support and videos like this help me understand myself more. This is the first time I’ve come across the term masking and I definitely use masking at work. As a result, I am able to put aside work related issues for a period of time (the duration varies). However, I always end up depressed and anxious. It’s almost like I can only mask for so long until it becomes detrimental to my mental state. Because I have been appearing to be neurotypical, my colleagues and my bosses end up with a negative opinion of me (despite knowing of my diagnosis). Thanks for this video, it has really helped me in trying to understand myself.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@imeanwhoknows3974
3 жыл бұрын
I went to get my autism diagnosed and they actually told me I'm masking it too well. Now I'm undiagnosed but still visit them to talk to them and downplay my problems :')
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@DC-lq6bn
3 жыл бұрын
Oh my God thank you for this video! This explains everything what I mean is that ever since I've been in school I change my behavior to act like other kids or I change my personality entirely, I remember after coming back home from school I would feel physically and mentally drained since I've done it for so long I thought it was normal to do that. I didn't even know who I am I've just been different people one moment I'm the soft spoken sweet girl next I'm outgoing fun or I'm sassy confident, I did it so much that I didn't even have a personality of my own I've been multiple people.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@gabbykitty5318
4 жыл бұрын
I've been masking for so many years it's become automatic and I don't know how to stop. I desperately want to stop because it drains me of so much energy.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Maybe to help unmask, maybe try unmasking in small bursts and grow on that?
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@cyborgpunkmonk
4 жыл бұрын
I've been masking my whole life. Only been recently diagnosed on the spectrum almost 2 years ago now. And when I mention my diagnosis (which isn't often), I've so far got 2 people saying they don't think I am. First one said because I didn't show anger issues. Another because they never saw me cover my ears. As a kid, I did have some problems with anger. I stomped on my kite because it wasn't flying right away for example (obviously wasn't the kites fault). Felt horrible when I heard the snap. I also noticed I'd feel frustrated and dislike things I didn't understand. But one of my obsessions was karate kid and the whole wise teacher thing. And wanted so badly to join a martial arts class, but my mom couldn't afford it. So instead, I just held very closely the whole self control and discipline over emotions, and being calm. Being more quiet & analytical/observant. Kind, accepting, and understsnding, etc.. This also of course helped me shape my would be meltdowns into shutdowns instead. I practiced appearing as calm as I could. Many family members or strangers would often ask if I was depressed tho. Because I often felt what I described as "neutral" or just content. Just appreciative, grateful, and loving every moment. Amazed and in wonder of all the small details in life. Just happy to be in the presence of family and friends. But my facial expressions I guess stayed neutral and never really reflected how I truly felt. It felt unnatural to act enthusiastic. It still does, but I have subtly worked on some. And there are many noises that are loud or hurt my ears, but I try to just deal with it. That loud whistle people do with their fingers tho.. I can't deal with that one at all. All other noise goes completely silent when I hear that. And it really physically hurts. I've tried not covering my ears, and I usually can if it's only once. but I have to if they keep going. But clanking dishes, the way voices bounce off walls sometimes, and many other noises I can pretend don't phase me. Or I'll just walk away. The sound of vacuums make me zone out & dissociate a bit. Same with the loud atmosphere of a busy restaurant or mall. Malls I can deal with because I can listen to music, but restaurants with family is tougher, because it'd be considered rude. And I do want to spend time & hear them. It's just hard to.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Ooh yeah I hear you and I just want to say that I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and share your story.
@yubal0
4 жыл бұрын
I have these silicone earplugs that I wear to clubs, where it's socially acceptable to do so. They're quite small and made of transparent silicone and they sit inside your ear canal. I find myself often in public environments that are painfully loud such as stores, cafes, parks and just the street. When I'm on the way somewhere walking or on the train I use in-ear headphones to listen to music to protect me from all the different noises. Socially acceptable. For a long time I've wanted to just take my earplugs and wear them in public spaces much more often, basically as often as I felt I needed to. I wanted to free the eardrum from pain. I haven't been doing it already just because I didn't wanna be a weirdo. In yet another way. The guy who wears ear plugs all the time. Sometime last year I decided to challenge this fear of imagined future embarrassment and just wear my earplugs wherever I want. So I decided to stop caring what people think of me as much as possible and have been wearing the earplugs whenever and wherever I want to since then. Often people don't even notice. If they do, some people might remark or ask about it, but I don't mind explaining. I can also use the earplugs as a prop, a physical object the I can use to show in a tangible way that this a real thing that I'm experiencing. A sort of hearing aid in a way. I feel much calmer being able to control the loudness of my environment and it has made many social interactions much less exhausting and actually enjoyable. Otherwise I've stopped caring what other people think about it. My ears have never been happier.
@RatsPicklesandMusic
3 жыл бұрын
I relate to the noise issue! I have to ask my coworkers to wheel the cart of nightly dishes to the dish room instead of me because I can't take the clanking as the cart travels across the tiles. Alarms and babies crying and crowd clapping are unbearably. I always used to cover my ears (or at least my left ear because it is worse due to tinnitus) as a kid and even today if I need do I cover my ears. Not everything bothers me though. I love thunder. I love fireworks. Vacuum cleaners are okay if they're not TOO loud but when I vacuum my stairs I wear earplugs because I have to be too close to the vacuum to do that. I can tolerated generally noisy areas like malls and restaurants. It's more high pitched noises that really bother me most.
@ElAnvaBar
4 жыл бұрын
Being totally not interested into footbal really resonated with me.
@Cazipie13
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the video, I really do relate to this. I have asd and I try to mask on a daily basis though some days are harder than others. I completely relax when I am at home and do as I please haha. I struggle with recognising emotions and facial expressions when conversing, I basically have to act my way through a conversation to appear “normal” but it’s not always that easy.
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Aww no thank you for watching and I hope you got something out of it! Yeah it is the same for alot of people like they'll let the mask down when it's safe to do so. Though it's not healthy I don't feel to mask all of the time... Sadly it might be needed to get by.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@palabrajot505
4 жыл бұрын
Masking is what I've done my entire life, before diagnosis or even suspicion of autism. From an early age, I gradually realized I was different and did my best to conceal it. I made a decision to continue doing so after getting the confirmation, I've masked throughout high school, through military service and 20 yeaes in the workforce. It's what I've always done and I don't see much point in doing any differently, now that I know. I don't really wish have other people know my personal business, nor do I care to stand out as someone who's different. I wish to blend in and get through my day, so I can go to my own domicile and be myself in private. To this point, I've been fairly successful. I'm not Mr. Popular and I'm generally viewed as weird, but I've managed to maintain steady full-time employment for the most part for fifteen years, I have a successful marriage and I'm a father, I own my home, I have good credit and even healthy hobbies. If you can successfully mask, do so. Exposing yourself puts you at risk of being perceived as different anx therefore weak, making you vulnerable to predation.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Really appreciate your insights, thank you for sharing your story. I have to say I do understand this to some degree as I am not 100% fully disclosed to everyone I know & feel the need to mask in order to fit. Especially when it comes to work like I haven't opened up because it is very macho and not something that would help me in my career path. One day, I want to be in a place where I can open and honest but in a place where I am just myself while being professional you know. I know it means that the mask will be on sometimes, but it would be less draining on me you know.
@gianniclaud
4 жыл бұрын
This actually makes me really sad, and I know I should be happy for you - but I’m not. I get that it’s a survival mechanism - but I couldn’t imagine doing things the same if I knew on a conscious level I was fundamentally wired to be different. I suppose at the very least you are co-existing very peacefully with your surroundings and fellow humans - so thank you for sharing.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@christianbh
3 жыл бұрын
I’m still not sure if I just overthink my reactions and way of acting or if I am masking.
@ElizaArcher
3 жыл бұрын
I masked so hard until I was 26 (in 2016) then I had an "emotional breakdown" and I feel that I haven't been able to mask as I used to do... So I've been isolating eversince. I rarely go out and have no social life.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@ThomasJojo
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for an available explanation. I link this to ppl in my educational crusade for autism awareness and knowledge. I've lived my life as an actor in unknown numerous occasions..
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@ThomasJojo
2 жыл бұрын
@@bolinhong2598 lol. You really need more edu.
@chrismccaffrey8256
3 жыл бұрын
If you are exhausted after periods of social interaction, and feel the need to distance and shelter yourself, you were very likely masking. I have this myself, just avoiding people more and more because they want me to be different. And feeling exhausted because keeping up the mask or act is obviously going to take a lot of exertion and energy.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@joshuamoody7729
3 жыл бұрын
I tend to mask a lot, due to the things you have touched on in this video. I would call myself a pro “Mr. Roboto” (I was raised on 80s music growing up and I am currently twenty-five) I generally mask because I am the only person in my family with Autism/Aspergers. There are times I have to sike myself up just to talk to them. I do tend to burnout from time to time. It’s nice to see a content creator that can understand how having Autism feels. Thanks
@IndieAndy
3 жыл бұрын
Aww well I'm glad that this helped!
@Melody-mc3bn
4 жыл бұрын
i don’t know if i have autism because i don’t think it’s right to self-diagnose, but i did this a lot in school & still in everyday life. i would be really quiet because talking to people or just being in social situations is difficult for me like i don’t know what to do or what to say. i kept it up for almost two years and the week before we got out of school i just broke down like i couldn’t stop crying that whole week at school. thank you for this video though it’s quite helpful.
@BrieyaSilverweb
4 жыл бұрын
My parents demanded I 'behave' if I wished to go and join them on social outings. I had to dress and behave a certain way to be out and about. What you term as masking I grew up with being groomed to what is known as 'behaving' properly. Any hiccups with being direct, too bold, not understanding people, even taking things directly verses metaphors would get me into huge amounts of trouble for embarrassing my mother. She was an in the closet narcissist and heavily groomed me to make her look really good. For the last 10 years, I have been my father's caregiver, we live together, and dear me, I am exhausted constantly due to the fact I am conditioned to 'behave' when he is around. Never had a break unless it is while he's in hospital, and it isn't much of one due to how I'm panicking over his well being. I wish I knew of some way to give myself space to rest or how to remove the conditioning to be more at ease around him.
@ShadowPhenix273
3 жыл бұрын
Shit man, i really hope things get better for you
@aspiewithattitude3213
5 жыл бұрын
Since I started up my own autistic KZitem channel I had been extremely open about my autism since being on the autism spectrum is my way of life. I had certainly masked myself, this didn't work out and it's almost like something I had to do up until I started watching yours, Connor's, Kate's and Dan's channel.
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Aww I feel like we all have done this at some point. But I am glad that you are starting to find yourself!
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@JadeDRail
5 жыл бұрын
I originally has no interest in League of Legends, but I wanted to belong and started playing. I ended up loving it though!
@PauldeBrem
3 жыл бұрын
We, neurotypical people, also mask in various social situations. I'm not the same person if I meet with my boss, if I'm in a group of people I just met or if I'm alone, for instance. And some of these situations can also be tiring for neurotypical people who will be so happy to behave as they really want when they return home after a long workday for example. But, of course, our fatigue and the efforts we have to make don't compare to those of the autistic people. They are incredibly smaller. Still they exist. So even neurotypical people can easily relate to your video, Andie. Thanks again! 👍👍
@SezFrancis1
5 жыл бұрын
Great video, Andy! I used to mask a lot; still do. I would fidget a lot as well as talking myself. When people told me that my habits were strange, I tried to mask it to fit in. When I’m alone, I hardly mask at all; the same thing comes when I’m acting on the stage as it gives me the chance to be myself while playing a character. So masking is complicated but (like you said) it is important to think what’s best for you. Massive thumbs up 👍🏻. 🦋✨
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Yeah it is super complicated but I think alot of it is just down to the individual. Thank you Sez and I'm glad you got something away from the video.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@ShadowPhenix273
3 жыл бұрын
I think i have been masking my whole life without realising it.. i have noticed alot more of my autistic traits coming out since i started going through puberty
@abimariposa2842
2 жыл бұрын
I probably shouldn't say this since I'm not sure what I have (I've been OBSESSED with self diagnosis lately because I'm so stressed from uni ) but I'm a proud person who doesn't try to fit in, but that's bad 😂 firstly people around me easily know that.. "I'm not normal", I remember I got screamed at from a stranger because I couldn't talk and look at them in the eyes, my environment is always trying to make me fit in by throwing me right into the fire, and since I'm no good at acting (trust me, I really try) I ended up isolating myself (that's very unhealthy) being sick of who I'm and dealing with mood swings, I think and hope uni is giving me the first step to get diagnosed because I'm TIRED from myself and from the world, (sorry If I looked desperate, it's something I'm dealing with from YEARS so I don't get emotional everytime I talk about it)
@hepticity
4 жыл бұрын
Autistic masking is the topic I clued up on even though I wasn't really interested in it.
@tierralaird9067
5 жыл бұрын
I didn't find out I had autism until last year. I went to a very small private elementary school that didn't even have special education teachers. I masked a lot. I got straight A's and excelled academically, but I didn't have much luck getting lasting friendships. I would go up to people and try to be their friend, but I couldn't connect long term. I remember asking one girl when I was in 3rd grade if she would be my friend and her response was no, so from that point on I became hesitant when trying to make friends. Sorry for long story. I just discovered your channel from twitter and can't wait to watch more of your videos. :D
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Ooh to be honest, I really don't mind reading long comments you know if it's want you feel you need to do then you do you! I must be honest I wasn't really that good academically at school because I just don't think that way of learning was right for me. I was able to make friends but I'm not sure how honestly. It just kind of came naturally in a way. Ooh well hello from Twitter, thank you so much for coming over here and I look forward to see you in the comments soon😁👍
@tierralaird9067
5 жыл бұрын
@@IndieAndy Thank you so much for replying. I'm glad you were able to make friends. Everyone has their own strengths and it is nice to hear different experiences even though we are similar in other ways. :)
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Yes exactly! That's why I like doing these videos as it is a way of finding out other people's experiences and sharing them too.
@terriusthomas1146
4 жыл бұрын
I mostly mask my autism when I'm at school with my friends or either with family members, but when i go home i take my normal mask off! i just learned to act normal, i learned social skills by being around normal kids! I sucked at socializing with normal kids, but now I've gotten better at it, i picked up on their social skills, i mask because so i won't get criticized
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hi there, I guess masking in a way can be helpful but just remember to be yourself 👍
@cry9488
4 жыл бұрын
I think Im autistic, but I've not been diagnosed since I've lived in a neglectful household my entire life and been punished/reprimanded for traits that are usually used to diagnose someone with ASD. I notice that Im always masking my more non-neurotypical traits around my family, teachers, and almost all of my friends. Its uncomfortable for me to maintain eye contact with people, and I find it impossible to look at someone's eyes when talking about something serious/arguing. I used to not be able to contain my excitement when something I was interested made me happy, but was scolded for stimming enough that I stop myself from doing it even when I'm in private. I've learned to "learn up" on other peoples interest while avoiding talking about my own because I'm afraid to infodump and annoy people. I'm not able to get diagnosed right now, and not knowing for sure is killing me. I feel like such an imposter in both communities for it.
@theshadowman4015
Жыл бұрын
In the past, I've made an educated guess that I was autistic (not announcing it publicly since, you know, not professionally diagnosed, but I showed a lot of concerning signs that a lot of teachers picked up on) but I was never able to get evaluated due to parental issues. I've always been the "odd" one as old friends called, and I've certainly learned most of my behaviors from watching others. I'm living with my mother now, and she's going to help me get tested to see if I was truly misdiagnosed with ADHD and OCD like my old therapist and I assumed or not. :) Watching this video was a weird but lovely comfort knowing that I'm not alone in my experiences, even if I'm not actually on the spectrum. I know this vid is old, but thanks a ton for making it
@clintonmaxwalker8957
3 жыл бұрын
I find people get two very wrong impressions of me: at first I'm jovial and put a lot of effort into being friendly and kind in greeting people; then I go quiet, run out of things to say, and avoid people. People would think they or I did something wrong, but I just felt uncomfortable around people after a very rehearsed introduction.
@hirsch4155
2 жыл бұрын
This, 100% this, thanks cuz I relate so much to what you said. It’s almost like I present as an extrovert but can’t sustain sociability afterwards.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@DavidJVMusic
4 жыл бұрын
after watching a lot of videos on "masking" I think I have done it from early childhood. I watched other people get scalded or belittled or get pats on the back and I would try to become like the boy who got the pats on the back or the "attaboys." I just thought that, that was how everyone decided to act, by watching others. my family thinks I am odd but they don't think I am ADHD or Autistic... makes me slightly aggravated.. I want to get a diagnosis but... I am afraid(i think) that will make it final... Thanks for you videos Andy!
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hmm guess mask is really a method of survival in a way so it makes you'd do what you did.
@thetruthisright6750
2 жыл бұрын
I do not have autism but in the past people thought i did because i have trouble with approaching others
@sunburntsatan6475
3 жыл бұрын
Honestly this is really informative. I've had financial issues relating to the pandemic and have had issues understanding my mental health and energy level and while I understand that some of it is just related to the pandemic, I definitely think there's some masking. I've had issues figuring out of I have ADHD (comorbid with anxiety and/or depression) or potentially something else. What I related to most was the mirroring aspect of masking, I often unintentionally pick up mannerisms of people I'm talking to and perform them without realizing. That and, trying to act "normal" (or "professional") in a work setting is particularly exhausting, even on days that are very easy. I won't claim to have ASD unless i really get some professional confirmation, but I think in the meantime some of the advice and info given here I can use to make my daily life a little less exhausting.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@kenvu2942
4 жыл бұрын
I'll admit that I now realized that I do mask a lot in my own life, often to hide the part of me that likes to have meaningful conversations with myself, likely cuz I dont have a lot of friends to talk to that like what I talk about. Like I feel more confident and thoughtful alone, but with people, I get edgy and my mind goes blank cuz I'm not into what others are into and have nothing to say, which makes conversations awkward and make me more likely to be left out. But lately, Ive been dealing with it a bit better though after reading the book Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, which taught me how to navigate social situations better with empathy, calmness, and respect for the other person. Plus, I more or less made a space for myself to be myself (like you said, masking can be exhausting and we need a break from it and let ourselves be free) through writing lyrics and writing in my journal. Thanks for this video. Its an eye opener and showed me parts of myself I didnt quite understand.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Oooh that book sounds interesting, I might have to have to look at that! Also glad you found this video helpful!
@saixenophase
4 жыл бұрын
Topics I clued up on would be...celebrity news and pop music.
@saixenophase
4 жыл бұрын
I've been masking for so long that I... don't know where it starts and ends. I'm trying hard not to mask as much.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Ooh yeah it can be tricky. But I guess just give it time and not to put pressure on yourself if that makes sense. 👍
@knotreo9953
4 жыл бұрын
Angry Birds. I was awful at the game but everyone I hung out with loved it so I learned the lingo, bought the board game even(something with tiles?)
@TheGoowolf
4 жыл бұрын
One of the main problems I have about masking is the mere fact that it also depends on who I'm talking to. when I was in school, I had a mask for students and a mask for teachers. For the students, the only thing I knew how to be was a class clown as my main form of entertainment after school was comedy based. In front of teachers, I was less comedic and more normal as they didn't really put up with my class clown side which is also how I got better over the school years. However, I didn't know how to talk to students and maintain a normal conversation. When my senior year came in high school, I barely had a mask for social situations with people of my own age. But I knew how to talk with people who where twice my age. It did make it easier to get a job and maintain one but very difficult to keep friends of my own age in touch. Though sometimes I feel I'm just their autistic friend. If it wasn't for the fact that my family always treated me as if I had the same opportunities as my brothers, I'd probably be living jobless with my parents to this day.
@Stephie2007
5 жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 1993 during a time when Autism was still seen as a linear disorder rather than the spectrum of disorders we know it as today. During that time, I learned that in order to get by in life with the diagnosis I had, I had to mask, otherwise, I was going to be judged by how others saw me. And I'm not just talking about in social situations when I was in school or out in public, but at home when I was growing up, I also had to mask because my father didn't understand how to handle my diagnosis properly at the time (he had anger issues. My theory is that since he's a Desert Storm veteran, he may have some undiagnosed PTSD) and this masking thing has followed me into adulthood since I always have felt like I don't fit in anywhere (I want to fit in with my peers without disabilities but then society forces me into a position where I'm working with people who are on some parts, far more challenged than myself essentially leaving me to either pick up after them when they won't get their job done or train them on how to do their job (sometimes more than once) it is very exhausting. And that's why I want to get a job where I want to feel like I can fit in
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Hi Stephie, I very much get what you mean. For me I would love to let the mask come off at work as I'm surrounded by neurotypicals which in no way is a bad thing. But I don't feel they understand me sometimes either.
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
Also can I say that I appreciate you sharing your story and thoughts with me as well.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@cobalius
4 жыл бұрын
The first seconds were a very good example haha xD More body language, mimics, chaining of several body movements. Packaging of language to keep the structure on the fly and being able to fix it any time within the pauses. Picking up unknown words or group-specific language and creating jokes around 'em to learn the meaning of it and to also get involved into the group Oh and stuff like watching people. I came up with that author attitude wherein i'm taking notes on other people's behaviours and stuff just for fun, often with a cup of tea nearby. Maybe that's a good start for a story. Cafés, train stations, parks and halfpipes are good places to watch people. Lel, and i've adhd. And probably should eat something. It's mornin over here and i'm already 100% in this drive again
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Ooh I like to people watch also. It's just interesting seeing how people interact I guess ☺️
@joelsantiago9325
3 жыл бұрын
I got autism and this really helped me to not hide my autism and don't be a shame of it and it because of you thank you
@rebeccaelle135
3 жыл бұрын
true for alll ages..healing knowledge for older women with late life diagnosis
@nickprince8574
3 жыл бұрын
For many years I pretended to be a physicist, I was at universities for thirteen years before the pretence became unsustainable, it left me with no career, and job interviews were always nearly impossible, my behaviour was always outside acceptable norms.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@rahulrao8930
3 жыл бұрын
I liked the music you have put, Soothing. And the volume is just perfect for backgroud music.
@rhys4489
3 жыл бұрын
I mostly worked hard at learning how to compensate for my not do great social skills because I wanted to have an easier time getting along with everyone in my life regardless of whether they’re neurotypical or not.
@bunnygrill
4 жыл бұрын
I trained myself a long time ago to look just outside of people's eyes, and it seems like they think I'm making eye contact
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Ooh right I see what you mean!
@bunnygrill
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, eye contact is almost impossible for me to actually do, especially for more than a brief moment if I can pull it off at all
@christopherwoods6777
2 жыл бұрын
I'm just now realizing I'm Autistic after 57 years. Masking is a hard concept but when you put those examples in, I totally get it. I mask a lot of the time at work. Probably the reason I'm so happy to leave it at the end of the day.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@soniczforever5470
3 жыл бұрын
I'll mask to a certain degree but I will absolutely not follow fashion or beauty trends (im female) and will completely suggestions people who judge my size hair and skin. Ive a skin problem on my scalp and face and hair and skin quality is affected its on scalp too I can't cut my hair short. Im also very thin due to severe migraines. I have good features in fitness but otherwise ive nothing in common my skin is so red make up wouldn't cover it. I will contact a dermatologist in the next few months to mind health both my appearance. People don't always accept my size and im not changing that. Im well and intend to stay that way. Masking won't solve my self esteem people can be so judgemental and id rather not invest time in that. Some suggestionsqre constructive, people will wonder if im ok why my face us the way it is but thats me. there's absolutely no place for rudeness. Its a reprehensible part of people.I will not have conversations with people like that not until they understand that it hurts.
@brynnaandersen7739
3 жыл бұрын
I have no clue if I'm self-ascribing these characteristics of autism onto me or not, but I can relate to this a lot. It's very expensive to get an evaluation for ASD, but I'm so curious if I have it, or if it's just social awkwardness, OCD, and introvertedness for me.
@PseudoPseudoDionysius
2 жыл бұрын
I’m not autistic as far as I know but this explained it very well and I think I can relate to it somewhat from an ADHD perspective - the strain of not doing things like like fidgeting especially, or having to stop myself daydreaming so I don’t start talking or singing to myself, or whatever, is huge and sometimes half of what feels bad about it isn’t even just suppressing the act, but the shame in the thought that “all these people would think I was weird if I just minded my own business and acted naturally”.
@PseudoPseudoDionysius
2 жыл бұрын
Oh, and having to pretend not to be bored when someone’s talking to you and you just want them to get onto something worth saying or end the conversation; it’s not that I’m not able to do the pretending part but it will just feel like trying to sprint through treacle.
@lindatonigrahn6263
4 жыл бұрын
OMG! So on point, so this is what I've been doing my whole life. Thank you so much for your video, things are getting more clearly.
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Aww I'm glad that the video helped Linda 😊
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@classicnobody9872
5 жыл бұрын
Hey I have a video request can you make a video on austism and positive mental health like tips on how to love , accept and be proud of having autism cause I really hate mines thank you
@virginialigon706
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah me too
@Cerebrum123
3 жыл бұрын
Listening to the whole video and the thing that immediately sticks out is when you use of detrimental instead of beneficial when discussing short term masking. At least that is how I am understanding the rest of the video.
@tafua_a
3 жыл бұрын
I'm not sure if I used to mask, or if I didn't, but my autism just didn't come across well enough for people to notice that I really was autistic. Because when I look into how I masked, I was never really good at it, at least I wasn't really good at doing things NT people did, I just stopped doing things they didn't do. I wasn't good at being something I wasn't, but I was good at not being what I really am, if that makes sense. I was also masking stuff that NT people do, but not to the extent that I did them. I used to cry all the time, now I struggle with crying, for example. My thought process wasn't "I need to do that because I will be like them", but rather "I need to stop doing this because what I do now is wrong"
@relentlessrhythm2774
2 жыл бұрын
I've been masking since I was a pre teen. Now I'm 22 and have felt so burnt out lately. I need to take a break and work from home for a while (maybe permanently) but my contract lasts for six more months. I am counting down the days and am determined to finish then enjoy my restful lifestyle online.
@randomagon5123
5 жыл бұрын
Most of my friends don't know about my autism, but I go to a small school and pretty much everyone just loves how unique I am. If I do something different they all just accept that that's how I am. So I don't mask as much at school, which I think helps me not burn out, but I definitely mask in other situations.
@randomagon5123
5 жыл бұрын
@Maikind K. Unfortunately, I find that typically your case is more common. I'm sorry to hear that you are in that situation.
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
It is good to see that you have that because I agree with you and Maikind that it is extremely common to mask in order to get by. But I am happy to see that you have the opportunities to be yourself.
@IndieAndy
5 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry to hear about that 😢
@cockycookie1
3 жыл бұрын
I used to be really loud and extroverted, would start a conversation with strangers etc. That didn't work out too well once I stopped being a cute little child so I kinda just.. stopped. Had to mask by acting shy and quiet so people wouldn't question my lack of social interaction or interpret it as arrogance 🤷🏼♂️
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@Traumatised311
4 жыл бұрын
Masking often leads to people mis understanding or mis interpreting or mis judging me, I am autistic so I don't like touch and talking to people, so my narcissistic ex thought I would never cheat on him, little did he know I cheated on him multiple times and don't regret it
@calientita104
3 жыл бұрын
Only a couple of months ago I heard the word masking and now I'm trying to understand it. It's funny how I always felt so lonely and crazy for having to pretend I was someone else and I felt I was neglecting what you could call "community" but it turns out so many of us do. I feel less of a hypocrite now to be honest. I wanted no body to find out about me so much I became this person, and I just can't stop, like I've masked so well I don't know how to be myself anymore, so I kind of embraced the "fake" me and I'm trying to live the best of it
@mrdaykurutakuchannel
3 жыл бұрын
I did it for the most part of my life especially during the 2nd half of my elementary school, so I would be accepted, gain attention from friends that I wanna hang with, be considered cool, treated seriously (I think I've never been accepted of who I was as I wanted and no place I feel like I belonged or be part of) instead of being target of insults, conceal my feelings and constant denial of the fact that I am a special needs kid (which is the reason why I keep the distance from special needs guys I always been associated with and considered only deserving to be with them forever in which no one would consider me as a cool guy or at least trying to be) . I was the target of insults, bullying and isolation from not just from my classmates at school, but also my ex driver which is a constant tormentor in disguise whenever he drove me to and from school, always insulting me, messing with me, considering me as an effeminate, socially inept and unacceptable, sissy fat boy which I didn't feel like one, treated me like crap, and forcing me to listen nasty campur sari (traditional Indonesian music usually heard by person with lower end incomes) music. I always wished I was invisible from bullies or any of their allies (I've seen some of them as cahoots with them) so there will be no more troubles with them, since probably the one I could trust and understood me in the past is just my Mom. In addition I wasn't as expressive or willing to tell how I felt to anyone as I am now.
@currybread5298
3 жыл бұрын
I don't think I am in spectrum, but who knows, maybe I have successfully fooled myself too. All I know is I don't know myself, am tired, have many troubles in life and struggle a lot. And I feel like I have to be 100% in control at all times. Otherwise something bad will happen.
@jamiepolson1385
3 жыл бұрын
Well... just found that I've been masking for 20 years, so thats fun!
@deantroup4810
3 жыл бұрын
Wow! Awesome!
@zodsi
3 жыл бұрын
hi, your videos have been very helpful to me lately so thanks :) also you have beautiful piercing icy eyes!!
@mariagutier8372
3 жыл бұрын
I have been in and out of therapy for about 17 years. I feel like therapy in my formative years was all about effectively masking and personally I feel it was extremely detrimental to my mental health. It caused me a ton of anxiety and made me feel as though I could not be my normal genuine self in social circumstances.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
@filmwoodmedia
3 жыл бұрын
I literally only found out I was on the spectrum (mild Aspergers) and I’ve literally been masking it since I was a kid and I just thought I was being normal 😂😂😂
@susieschrum9310
2 жыл бұрын
Wow. Can't believe this recommended vid was from someone who left the world far too soon. Fly high, buddy.
@deco_ghost_5331
Жыл бұрын
I guess in a way, neurotypical people maks too whenever they work in a costomer service job. They put on a plastic facade in order to get along with the difficult customers.
@thecomedygamingnetwork261
4 жыл бұрын
Generally people dont know I've got aspergers pddnos. Some people surprise me though lol. Generally if an autistic person is treated special they'll view themselves as special. If you break down their autism fact by fact to them and help them cope they can overcome a lot of their issues like I did. And yes forced facial expressions thank you. I used to give a genuine happy smirk, that was my smile, a right sided half smile. Damn I forgot how good it feels to smile thanks again
@dirtywhitellama
3 жыл бұрын
I can't think of anything I've learned about *just* to be able to talk about it when I don't actually care. I may have done at some point, but broadly speaking that's not something I ever bother to do XD
@growyourself6928
3 жыл бұрын
Oh boy.. I know it is an important topic, but I need to tell you how handsome you are :D (thanks for bringing information out there. and sorry for my bad English)
@IndieAndy
3 жыл бұрын
Awww well thank you!
@rc3151
4 жыл бұрын
Hockey,tennis,fantasy,first-aid,horticulture,sewing,swimming,running,biking,cars,heavy machinery, boxing fighting,magic, to name a few basically anything anyone mentions to me that they might possibly bring up in a future conversation. Then I end up looking like a try hard know-it-all. Always curious why I did that. Thanks
@rhyanonstuddert7384
2 жыл бұрын
I mask all the time, especially when I have to work. I don't feel like me when I am around most people and I feel like I'm lying and I hate lying. I get so confused. I get so drained afterwards that I have no energy to do anything. I have been doing it forever I think, and it has finally caught me and now I am going through burn out and anxiety/depression.
@roseb2105
4 жыл бұрын
iv hidden my opinion on different things to avoid getting into trouble
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hmm yeah I get that! Sometimes it's easier but is important to keep being you ☺️👍
@roseb2105
4 жыл бұрын
@@IndieAndy thanks
@TheOfficial_YoItSJaKe4091
3 жыл бұрын
Hey! This is exactly what I can do fairly well at Level 1. My stims are literally absent, but still socially impaired.
@bolinhong2598
2 жыл бұрын
it's really important to educate ourselves on autism , what to do if you have it, and how to prevent it. contact Dr Oyalo on KZitem channel for natural cure on his channel. I use his herbs on my son and he is autism free now
@zackduffer9069
4 жыл бұрын
American football. Basketball. I know a lot about them, but I didn't want to. I had to. I needed to so I can fit in.
@shawnsmith5763
2 жыл бұрын
Andy thank you,and you have beautiful eyes just thought you should know
@flowercat9883
2 жыл бұрын
I been diagnosed a while back, and i started to mask so much on a daily basis that sometimes dont know how to turn it off.Masking has befits to me but also downsides.
@Popper_Drop
4 жыл бұрын
i love the feeling i get when i DO mask but ultimately i just think that's because I'm more accepted and not looked at as 'weird' so ... maybe a mix of good and bad
@IndieAndy
4 жыл бұрын
Hmm it's a weird one because we want to be accepted for who we are but depending on who it is, they may not accept us. So it's hard to meet our needs sometimes for sure. But think letting the mask down when it's safe is a good thing because it's keeps us in touch with ourselves but it's also hard at the same time... Very complex thing at times.
@slane_design
3 жыл бұрын
After watching this and the video on stimming Im sure I am on the spectrum. Thanks for these are so informative.
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