It's cheating if it breaks the terms of your relationship. It's why these terms have to be stated and made crystal clear in the beginning, and reaffirmed or renegotiated over time. If by marriage, you mean you're exclusive only to each other in sex partners and romantic feelings, then getting sex via sex worker is cheating, full stop, unless you both decide to make room for a sex worker or other partner. There are reasons of varying acceptability for this: for example, one of you can't perform in bed anymore for medical reasons, and you've both decided to let someone in who can perform for you. Or maybe you can't have kids the normal way and don't want to go IVF or adopt, so you let a third party be your incubator (this case isn't purely about sex work, but it happens enough to be notable). It's arguably no longer a marriage in the traditional sense, and you must then decide what to do about that (keep the marriage for legal & tax purposes? keep the marriage until the kids grow up? dissolve the marriage outright?). What arrangement you and your partners ultimately decide on isn't my business. It's yours, and the law's. Note: People forget that actions have consequences, and there may be consequences (social, psychological, financial, legal) to any decision when it's as involved with relationships, commitment, and feelings, and (likely) children and heirs. All the more reason to be sure you and your partner are on the same page at every stage of your relationship.
@Ex.zed.
Ай бұрын
Adultery and prostitution are both illegal in Japan for a reason, and yet!
@genesisarc778
Ай бұрын
I second this. If the relationship is monogamous, any activity like that is cheating. If the couple agrees to allow sex workers or bring partners in, it's no longer monogamy, it's something else. Also, "it's fine if they never find out" is not as okay as they are saying it is.
@piotrmalewski8178
Ай бұрын
'It's cheating if it breaks the terms of your relationship.' - how do you know it breaks their terms of relationship?
@mars9399
Ай бұрын
@@piotrmalewski8178 state it like businesses do in contracts.
@princessdollgf
17 күн бұрын
People seem to forget that just because it’s survivable and doable, doesn’t make it a good choice. Like my mom did okay raising me with no one else but I still have problems in my life from the lack of father figure (I find Fatherless memes are hilarious though lol). Single parent family unit is doable but two parent with a mom and dad would’ve made me a lot more happy and secure for sure, ESPECIALLY FINANCIALLY AND EMOTIONALLY given other factors specific to me.
@dafnebolson
22 күн бұрын
I don't understand why everybody says "change flavour" once or two is ok. But when a celeb do it they called "scandal" and even ruin every contract they have. Double moral, isn't it?
@mosubekore78
Ай бұрын
Of course they would say it's not cheating, they want to promote their body.
@HexIsme
29 күн бұрын
Yeah, their job is about making their customers feel good. If they admit it's cheating, their customer associates them with a bad feeling.
@JosueC730
Ай бұрын
This beggs several questions that weren't asked to them such as: Maybe the measures to prevent STDS are effective but what about other consequences? Psyochological maybe? Do they think they can still marry a man and love him just like that anyways? If they think it's not cheating because there are no feelings involved but money instead, what would they say if they get married and someone else (maybe an former client) asks to pay for her services again? What would they tell their husbands if they feel they are being treated unfairly when compared to paid clients? Isn't that just merely monetizing human relationships and reducing them merely to an exchange of goods be it time and effort or money? What is love for them then? What is love worth then? What about pregnancy? Maybe they would be unable to do it due to having had so many years working in that industry so they had to abuse of anticonceptive methods or for any other reasons (maybe they have become too old for it?) now their bodies are uncapable of it anymore?
@kelseya2802
Ай бұрын
Very good questions
@mars9399
Ай бұрын
Yes, human realtionships shouldn't be monetized. It's not right. It's dehumanizing. It devalues the pricelessness of human bonds and the actions that take place in these bonds.
@Der.Geschichtenerzahler
Ай бұрын
@@mars9399 I think the best way for some people to learn the reality of life is through pain.
@JohnyTheWizKid
26 күн бұрын
@@Der.Geschichtenerzahler By then, it would be too late. The relationship could be shattered, their depression manifests and before anyone knows it, they commit suicide because they fucked up too much or their life is just void now. No japanese wife or husband wants sex anymore because when they get married, its no longer a loving relationship but a contract to treat it as a family. So they take care of the kids, become sexless and when they crave it but won't get any, its a cycle. How they define love and marriage is the problem too. Japan can be so fucked up at times, but at least its not Sharia Law.
@vaderyoda9321
Ай бұрын
Another great informative video Nobita
@mikeysmoooth5322
Ай бұрын
“Changing the flavor” with another person is not cheating. Like what? Cmon man. And keeping things a secret because the partner “cares” for the other partners feelings is not considered cheating? What kind of emotional immaturity is this? The mental gymnastics is wild.
@samojede6776
Ай бұрын
I agree but the girls interviewed here are also very young
@mikeysmoooth5322
Ай бұрын
@@samojede6776 oh trust me it’s not just the young ones dude. Grown women in their 30s who are actually married that went into the AV industry without their husbands knowledge have a similar mindset.
@stefanswiss3760
Ай бұрын
That's also what was practiced in different part of the world 100 years ago when arranged marriages were done on a more regular basis. Many adults understand that life is not about love (the movie aspect of thing is a false narrative) and that as long as the husband fulfilled his role as a provider no questions were asked. In the 60's our grand mothers weren't fool and naive people. When the husband used to work far away for days or for impossible time, they knew he might not be faithful. This type of mentality was always a thing
@muajin
Ай бұрын
@@mikeysmoooth5322this is very true. If you look on the call girl websites, many of the women on their 30-40s are married, even with kids.
@oreoolafgaming3756
Ай бұрын
@@samojede6776 so what ? like these kind of people will get wiser when they get older. mentality and accountibility of a kid.
@dankfarrik8376
Ай бұрын
Oh it's not cheating? Well glad that's out in the open now. I'm happy I can inform my wife that she has nothing to worry about cause it's not cheating. These professionals that have no interest whatsoever just confirmed it.
@dankfarrik8376
Ай бұрын
On top of that if you claim to like it so much then why set yourself a deadline? Why stop at 29 or at a certain amount of money saved? Why not do it longer if you love this job so much? Absolute stupidity what's being said here. My wife being japanese will absolutely deny any of this. Japanese women do see it as cheating, although they will say they prefer you going to a prostitute then have a girlfriend on the side. They still see it as cheating though and divorce is still frowned upon in Japan so that's why some tolerate it.
@serenityssolace
Ай бұрын
@@dankfarrik8376 Because they must find the nice guy husband to marry them in their 30s
@JojoYuoable
Ай бұрын
They are so delusional. It is cheating.
@poodlescone9700
Ай бұрын
As long as you exchange money and not bang the same prostitute twice.
@donodono2287
Ай бұрын
Do you really need to tell your wife anything at all? Is it absolutely necessary to have that conversation?
@brutalpony1331
27 күн бұрын
If it's not considered cheating to visit a prostitute, why do they all insist on the man to keep it a secret from his wife? If it's not cheating the wife simply shouldn't care. Of course the wife would care. I refuse to believe that ordinary women would think it's okay for the husband to go out and whore. And if they don't speak up to the husband, I believe it's because the wife doesn't think she has any say in the matter.
@user-hp4jz1te9r
11 күн бұрын
Exactly. They are lying to themselves. Deep down they know it is wrong.
@lcd1063
Ай бұрын
The contradictory of human reaction. They didn't label it as infidelity as rendering a service from sex establishments is transactional. When roles have been reversed, they would rather not have it. One woman is all about the monetary gains and have no qualms of showing her full countenance. The other one, finds validity in her clients showing gratitude for her service. Humans are very complicated entities. Their insecurities are playing the role in their life's choices. What they are doing about it is another story altogether. Thank you for another eye-opening story about the Japanese beyond their cultural norm.
@dsamurai4725
Ай бұрын
Scary thing is how we ordinary people use the same tricks to do unmoral behavior. Lying for money is especially tricky because you can just rationalize it as a needs to one's end. But humans should never be that, that's Kants morality.
@suzystar3
Ай бұрын
Don't ask don't tell infidelity is super rife in Japan it seems
@PiroKUSS
Ай бұрын
Absolutely
@Avantime
Ай бұрын
The problem is that most people's body language just screams "I'm cheating". People are more astute about this stuff, but most choose not to care or dig in.
@SwitchMaxFX
Ай бұрын
*Tokyo and other major parts of japan especially with the younger generation. Alot of these useless interview channels with big followers push that narrative on their own.
@valdius85
Ай бұрын
in many counties
@lchn12345678
Ай бұрын
lets be a bit more fair, infidelity is popular everywhere
@HexIsme
29 күн бұрын
If you don't love your partner enough to respect them enough to break up with them before you sleep around, you have no business being in a relationship in the first place. You want to act single? BE SINGLE. Don't waste others' time and energy. People are not toys. Nothing wrong with wanting sex with multiple partners, it's wrong to sneak around and HURT PEOPLE when you do it. It's wrong to expect sexual loyalty while also being sexually disloyal. Sex as a transaction is fine... IF YOU ARE SINGLE. If your partner bores you in bed, work with them on it, or BREAK UP WITH THEM. It's not rocket science. There is no excuse to sneak around behind someone's back to get what you want. And of course it's different if it's an open relationship or polyamorous or something like that. But in the framework of a monogamous, committed relationship? It's cheating. But hey probably not best to get your moral assurances from people who turn an act of love into an act of personal gratification. Would you also listen to a corn farmer if you suspected corn was not healthy?
@poodlescone9700
Ай бұрын
These girls are such great salespeople. Prostitution is not cheating. But do not cheat on me.
@nightmare0xranmabloodedge122
Ай бұрын
That's wild. The moment something happened and does happen, then yes. It is cheating. This like saying a person is lying and gaslights of not. Crazy.
@SoC-id8vg
Ай бұрын
The issue I have with the claim about it not being cheating is that while the wife my never find out, it may still affect her life in ways in which she is unaware. Prostitution may take up money, time, and energies the man might otherwise spend having a romantic dinner at a restaurant with his wife or saving up for household repairs. The stress the man feels for hiding his visits to prostitutes may also further strain the relationship and lead to communication difficulties or exacerbate pre existing ones. Cheating is not just when one develops romantic feelings for another, it's when one spends resources (time, energy, money, emotions) without the consent of their partner.
@nastyayoyo4963
Ай бұрын
I'm not sure about now, but traditionally the wife takes the husband's entire paycheck and works out the household & shared expenditure (bills, kids' expenses etc) and future investments maybe also, and gives the husband a monthly allowance that he doesn't need to report to the wife what he spends on. Personally I myself spend a lot on anime and I'm single because I still want to live freely, decide myself what I spend my hard-earned income on. My parents both worked and my mom used to spend a lot on fashion (without dad's consent... come to think of it, she used to hide them in the car trunk sometimes)... but I think she usually didn't spend beyond a portion of her salaries so although dad gave her black face occasionally, well, they're still together now. I think humans will chafe if they have to get consent on a lot of aspects of their lives.
@SoC-id8vg
Ай бұрын
@@nastyayoyo4963 I agree, though I guess my point is that while demanding consent at every turn can lead to chafing in really obvious ways, secrecy can likely lead to chafing in less obvious ways. Conflict is inevitable in relationships so I feel it's more a matter of deciding which loss you'd rather take rather than search for some ideal, perfect solution. Personally, I'll take the stress of disagreement over the stress of secrecy any day.
@devlinthornicroft9975
Ай бұрын
This is spot on. You need to think of these things holistically instead of in a 1 dimensional way.
@dworkina.9015
Ай бұрын
cite: "Cheating is not just when one develops romantic feelings for another, it's when one spends resources (time, energy, money, emotions) without the consent of their partner." So you drink coffee in a cafe, so is it cheating on your partner? Because you waste time, energy, money, and emotions. Imho's easiest definition of cheating is when at least one of the partners thinks so (if they both know).
@devlinthornicroft9975
Ай бұрын
@@dworkina.9015terrible, terrible example you gave there. Have a re-think and come back to us when you’ve sussed it out.
@Seedmember
Ай бұрын
I get the "it's not cheating because there are no feelings" mentality, but isn't that a cheap cope out from the real problem? If you have a partner but either of you aren't interested in any sexual activity and instead prefer to fulfil that need with other people, isn't it a sign of something going wrong? There might not be feelings with the third party, but are there feelings between the couple at that point?
@piotrmalewski8178
Ай бұрын
How are you going to have an actual relationship that is anything more than a marriage certificate, when you work 12-16 hours a day, then you have to commute etc.? Japanese married couples hardly ever see each other when they are both up. Husband often doesn't even come back home to sleep. After 16 hours of work and then obligatory meeting with his boss in a pub after work, he often sleeps on the train station after missing the last train. There is a rise of divorces in Japanese families after they retire, actually see each other at home, and find they can't stand another person bothering them in the house.
@Alexander-dg8sh
Ай бұрын
@@piotrmalewski8178 Put sneaky love letters under your wife's pillow.
@Smiechu96
Ай бұрын
'It's not cheating, but if I was a wife I wouldn't like to know.' That's self-explanatory. I don't get why still men in Japan are treated like kids in a sanbox, especially by women.
@Avantime
Ай бұрын
Because it's still a society ruled by men. So the women just sigh and say "boys will be boys", especially in a men-dominated, "work hard, play hard" workplace atmosphere.
@kyotoben610
Ай бұрын
Because sex often stops after a baby is born. The wife's focus is on the child. After time, the women often think of their partner as family. Since they are adverse to incest, no sex.
@Smiechu96
Ай бұрын
@@kyotoben610 a lot of people talk about it and I can get it. If a wife refuses to have sex or it's a mutal decision I can understand it. However, I meant something different. If a girl does something wrong she's put on the spot, as girl should behave. If a boy does something wrong, it's "shoganai, that's how the boys are." I encounter these kind of situations in many countries, but in Japan, men grew up, and it's still "shoganai, that's how men are." If society and especially women have such a stance there is no incentive for men to change their behaviour and it's kind of childish to lack self-control, even though we speak about the stuff for adults.
@educateyourself3872
Ай бұрын
@@Smiechu96that’s because Japan understands men better than you do. You think we are the same but we are not. No matter what you say or do this will not change in Japan.
@Joekool88
Ай бұрын
That level of justification is next level...
@sonia_nya
Ай бұрын
It's alot of issues balled up tbh. Sexless marriages, where the spouse would rather them sleep with someone else than bothering them all the time, which tbh, why are you married in the first place? Then there comes the next issue, most don't marry for love, they marry for security. But at the end of it, I find it very disrespectful in the sense of them being OK with hiding it from the 'wife' in this instance. There is a risk of STDs and things like this that you're bringing home to your wife, without telling her. That is honestly the most horrible thing you can do, risking HER HEALTH so you can feel good for 5 minutes? Lol. The morality isnt there. That's a problem. And its cheating whether you want to accept it or not. Especially if you're hiding it.
@valdius85
Ай бұрын
The issue is that a husband feels like he is bothering his wife and she just provides a service. With similar passion as she does during washing the dishes. This is very common and it has psychological consequences. This is why most of the clients talk so much with them.
@sonia_nya
Ай бұрын
@valdius85 I guess, but that circles back to that they marry for security, not compatibility. Maybe if they actually had conversation topics or hobbies they matched in from the get-go it wouldn't reduce to the fact of service or familial duty.
@valdius85
Ай бұрын
@@sonia_nya I disagree. Most of these couples had a good intimate life before kids were born. It is just a choice for women to become super moms and simply stop caring about intimate life. This is not just being tired and busy, men understand that. These super moms also hurt their kids, as they project the needs that should have been provided by their husband onto their kids and don’t let kids live their own lives. I lived in three different countries before moving to Japan. Now I live in a Japanese home. It’s easy to see when compared to other cultures.
@sonia_nya
Ай бұрын
@valdius85 Yeah I also currently have been living in Japan for 7 years now, in a house surrounded by families. Kids coming into play is another issue of culture where they grow up and witness these same things from their parents relationship they take as truth into their own. It's kind of sad. I'm not saying all wives aren't the issue as much as the husband's are. But I've talked to plenty of mothers who have issues keeping the lovelife alive because they're the only ones taking care of the house and kids. Of course it's hard to keep a good relationship with a husband who doesn't help in your burden of a marriage. The worklife isn't easy but that's something the government needs to sort out.
@valdius85
Ай бұрын
@@sonia_nya I have a Japanese family, so I know it first hand. Your point coming from Japanese wives is interesting and it brings me hope. Thx for sharing it. I wished women understood men’s emotional needs better, but that a different subject. I also think many Japanese men really need to do housework. Wife is not a housemate. It annoys me as a man, because a wife can be blamed for the lack of intimacy after a husband does his duties in the house. I vacuum and do laundry. I cook for myself, although wife cooks much more. She doesn’t like my cooking so cannot help there. :)
@TF-fv6lt
Ай бұрын
It is not the same as going to a hair salon. And it is definitely an emotional and mental brak for someone to go around having casual sex in a existing commitment. Sex should not be sold or casual. Sex is a very intimate act that should connect two people. It's main purpose is to multiply life. It should be handled maturely and appropriately. Human beings are not objects, not subjects and novelty. To be bored of someone just because it's the same person, is not a good reason to go experience sex somewhere else. Sex is also a spreader of viruses and diseases, no contraceptive and vaccine is going to 100 percent safe proof anyone who is having sex with multiple people. We treat life, death, and sex without any respect, decency, and sanctity. And we really should. Our hearts, minds, and spirits would be healthier for it.
@juhna7
Ай бұрын
The.
@zeroshadeslayer3000
Ай бұрын
That's literally a definition of cheating
@aprils.r8418
Ай бұрын
So it's cheating. Bet that's a big reason why birthrates are so low next to their economy and work culture
@user-of2co3ke5p
Ай бұрын
@@zeroshadeslayer3000 🎯
@619AGT
Ай бұрын
@@aprils.r8418And another reason why many Japanese are preferring foreign men more than their own.
@IamtheMan1111
Ай бұрын
They're only fulfilling their needs. So it's normal
@psy__
Ай бұрын
I mean, of course they would want to feed into this narrative. It's their freaking job 😅 I would totally understand if all parties consented to this. But to keep this a secret from your partner? That's the scummiest thing ever. One of the girls even had the nerve to say "Take the secret to the grave and that's completely fine". A total lack of compassion and empathy. Listen, I won't say you are a bad person because you are in that line of work. But at least have some freaking standards. Just a tiny bit of basic human decency for Christ's sake. To lie about something like this is the ultimate sort of betrayal no matter which culture you are part of.
@Quilgen
Ай бұрын
Yes, it is cheating.
@CamiloMacaya
Ай бұрын
In western cultural views, yes it’s cheating. Japanese clearly have a different view on it.
@camilabruno7022
Ай бұрын
In my opinion, anything you do behind your partner's back without them knowing is cheating
@extremepsyche3135
Ай бұрын
Including playing video games?
@ResZCreator
Ай бұрын
it refer to relationship not others XD
@ChristopherCricketWallace
Ай бұрын
@@extremepsyche3135if she's beating me in the ranked leaderboards under a false handle, YES IT IS CHEATING 😂😢😅 FML 😂
@educateyourself3872
Ай бұрын
Did you write this comment without your partner knowing?
@michele7275
Ай бұрын
"Doing with the same person bores you, so just to 'change flavour'" Classic excuse to justify cheating and, for the prostitutes, a shady way to normalize this dynamic thing like "it's just work, just business and bla bla". So, all of this situation is kind of delusional because they vaguely suggest to cheat with sex workers if you want to "spice things up" in a marriage. So what's the meaning of getting married if at some point YOU EVEN THINK about cheating on your partner anyway? what's the point of swear loyalty and stay with that person if sooner or later you're going to do the b*st*rd or the wh*re (in case of the girl) messing up and wrecking up own's marriage? That being said, the fault is always from the married person intent on cheating and the sex workers knows that and acting like cheating is a normal thing in Japan "as long as you don't tell to your wife/husband". This is a very delulu thing from Japan to be honest and you may wonder why. Here's the answer: the sex workers are aware of this and they JUST lucrate on this. THEY KNOW they will never be blamed and in the meanwhile, if the partner found out is being cheated by hubby/wifey, sex workers cannot be attacked and they get the money anyway. That's what disgusts me the most. I am too "furui" for many so-called """progressist""" people, but cheating is a thing I cannot forgive even once. You want to get married? be real and stick to your partner and being commited for your life and face problems together. You DON'T WANT to get married but spending time with sex workers or going with prostitutes? then DON'T MARRY. Is that difficult? While I appreciate this interesting video to know the dynamic, I didn't like how cheating is normalized in a marriage in Japan. Prostitution is prostitution as well as cheating, it is not a work like "professional/client/customer" relationship. YOU KNOW your work has a good chance to destroy marriage. So yeah, it's cheating. Period.
@oreoolafgaming3756
Ай бұрын
imagine the hours of mental gymnastics you have to go through to get to the point to think clapping a harlot is not cheating, but doing it with a girl you met 30 mins. ago on the street is... i bet when you ask them how high their bodycount is they wont include the customers they had because in their eyes it doesnt count because they payed for it.
@draxpendragon
Ай бұрын
CULTURAL---emotional attachment is the issue...hooker no emotional attachment---business transaction......girl you met there is---getting closer emotionally/physically/mentally
@juhna7
Ай бұрын
Fr, it’s shocking how far they’d go to justify it.
@sboinkthelegday3892
Ай бұрын
You don't have mental function for gymnastics, you're paraplegic. You talk about "clapping " or "cheating" because you're illiterate about anytihng on this topic. You can't repsect anyones rules to "cheat" on. You don't know the touch of a woman by anything but the "clapping" sound, don't even know if it's in or not. I bet you'd count getting sounded as cheating, because it's not only done to your dick, it's also suuuper gay.
@melody8818
Ай бұрын
What😂😂😂
@rustyburger
Ай бұрын
What you choose to do is not my business, but someone saying hiring a sax-worker while they're in a relationship and claiming it's not cheating is a next level of delusional. Either self brain washed, or brain washed by their pim--p to avoid accountability for what they were doing. There are reasons why I won't be a bar tender, or work at a casino, I feel guilty about selling, and dealing to a person I KNOW have a problem - it's inevitable to come across in that industry, and I can't escape my own guilty thoughts of profiting off of & indulging their problem. I imagine the "not cheating" thing is their version of normalizing what they are doing.
@koomar341
Ай бұрын
Well said, rustyburger!
@Youtuber-ly6tx
Ай бұрын
Mental. Gymnastics. I talked with a girl who used to be a prostitute and I got her to see the hypocrisy of her thinking. In the end, she said it's because she's in Japan that she has to accept this way or else she could never find a boyfriend or husband since this is the expectation. Prostitution in Japan is probably the largest in the entire world. It's incredible how quiet and secret they've been able to keep it.
@adam_9_9
Ай бұрын
"She's in japan that she has to accept this way or else she could never find a boyfriend or husband since this is the expectation" I don't get this part. It's a shame if they are virgin or what?
@Youtuber-ly6tx
Ай бұрын
@@adam_9_9 Do she means that men expect to be able to go see a prostitute. She can't find a man who doesn't have this mindset.
@pafupafu_nya_nya
Ай бұрын
@@adam_9_9 she means all japanese guys think hiring a prostitute is not cheating, so they expect to keep doing it while they are in a relationship. If she accepts it's cheating, she'll had to look for a partner who doesn't cheat. But she believes no japanese guy would accept to be faithful in a relationship. It's all mental gymnastics to avoid emotional damage. So ingrained in their minds that even married women think hiring male prostitutes is not cheating.
@Arslanth
Ай бұрын
Japanese are really incredible to hide their "bad" images, mate. It's their skill.
@Youtuber-ly6tx
Ай бұрын
@@Arslanth Yeah I learned this. There's even an emoji! ㊙️
@Momo-qo7is
Ай бұрын
These interviews confirm that those men are just married for the sake of partnership of the household and children matters. As long as the wives are happy with their agreements and returns, prostitution is not cheating. These women cannot make any conclusions for the cheating issues. It’s not between these women and men who use the services anyway.
@SergioLeonardoCornejo
Ай бұрын
Tbh I blame customers for a fair share of the issue. Where there's demand, there's supply. So people who complain better not be part of it.
@bc-cu4on
Ай бұрын
And why is there demand? Unsatisfying marriages? Sure wonder where that came from...
@SergioLeonardoCornejo
Ай бұрын
@@bc-cu4on perhaps. The problem is huge, worldwide, and the best I can do is not joining it. I prefer being single and celibate over being part of it or constantly moralizing as most do.
@bc-cu4on
Ай бұрын
@@SergioLeonardoCornejoAgreed, but if there is no viable alternative then people will get the product that is available. In this case "renting" rather than "ownership". And this is in a country where the birth rate is catastrophic, too...
@Yami-no-TenRyuu
Ай бұрын
Japanese men doesn't appreciate their woman While men in other countries want those beautiful traditional, devoted and loving woman, we are stuck with cheating, entitled btchs They got no idea how lucky japanese men are.....
@nhitc6832
Ай бұрын
Why blame the customers? (Majority men). There is reason why there is a saying that prostitution is the oldest profession. Aross all cultures around the globes, from the ancient time where thefirst human civilization started to modern time, there is prostitution. Prostitution is part human culture. You can argue it came from biology. Men just have the biological urge to spread their seeds. In fact, I firmly believe it has everything to do with biology.
@griffinina
Ай бұрын
This is practically gasslighting. I'm not Japanese & never live in Japan & the men here who loves hiring s3x worker are saying the same thing as mentioned in this video: it's not cheating because we paid for it, there's no feelings involved, changing flavours. Honestly, this is just another form of self-justification.
@vorlon81
Ай бұрын
Not Really, Using Western Lens and Values about morality and sex is what causes you to think this way . The Japanese Attitude towards sex is based on Shinto religion and its attitudes towards Sex is very different . Not saying it is right or wrong but the bases of it is not rooted in Western Ideology.
@watchWorld100
Ай бұрын
Many married individuals get caught cheating. Many more cheat but don't get caught and never will. The truth is most humans are naturally polygamous. How many times have you fallen in love or have a crush on somebody? Too many, you can't count. Would you rather have your husband cheat on you or divorce you for another girl? These prostitutes are there to add the needed sexual variety. That way your husband doesn't need to cheat on you or divorce you. These prostitutes are heroes and are very valuable to society. They deserve respect and recognition.
@ninjal7588
Ай бұрын
As a woman I am worried about sexual diseases, for example using a condom doesn't prevent HPV transmission, it is very a common infection and usually undetectable without an uncomfortable and expensive papa-test, and some HPV variants cause cancer. Even if an STD goes away with meds it still not a pleasant experience and can cause discomfort and symptoms for a long while.
@HeartOfAnAngel
Ай бұрын
Kind of intresting how it is not cheating because "they pay money for it" and then they have a lot of recurring clients with whom they spend time with "like a couple". Apart from that it was actually really wholesome and intresting to watch. Thanks for the interview and video.
@StarTwynkle
Ай бұрын
Image when they retire and meet someone, will they tell them what they used to do? Or, how about meeting his parents and finding out his dad used to be one of your clients. 🤔 🙄 Awkward!!!!
@mars9399
Ай бұрын
They talk about their work being 'not cheating' but they also say it 'heals the soul'. They are saying it is basically non-judgemental human bonding and socializing....which should be done with the wife not an escort.
@KengKoyArt
Ай бұрын
I guess most Japanese clients are nice, or at least know what to expect since there are services for different fetishes. Girls are not surpriced or forced. In the PH, girls roll the dice. If you get a Sadist, you get beaten. I guess having establishments that care for the girls ane clients both make for a better experience for everyone invloved.
@serenityssolace
Ай бұрын
Are you Filipino?
@viptaiga
Ай бұрын
So let me get this straight, they dont consider it cheating because there's an exchange of money involved, but because it might hurt the wife they take all measures to ensure the husband doesnt get caught and they'd prefer if the wife doesnt find out? They themselves if they were married wouldnt want to know what their husband was up to too. Isnt that basically cheating though? Like, if you hiding it- you feeling guilty about it.... its infidelity at the end of the day? Unless its talked openly between the couple themselves... I dunno man make it make sense. To each their own I guess. Edit: oh my days, the bit about them begin the same age as some of their clients daughters....🤢🤢🤮🤮 bruh............
@armorbearer9702
Ай бұрын
I find the third part the most interesting(9:33). If a client does not need sex and is looking to have emotional needs filled, why go to them? If a client just wants to talk, why not go to a hostess club? If he wants to go on a trip or watch a movie, then he can go to rent a girlfriend service company. As a bonus, using a rent a girlfriend service is probably better for a man's reputation than going to a prostitute.
@pafupafu_nya_nya
Ай бұрын
Nobita, it would be interesting if you could also interview the male prostitutes that are hired by married women in Japan. Those who work at legal establishments giving "massages" and other physical services. I got to watch one video about that but it was mostly advertising the place.
@LostForrest
Ай бұрын
Being from a western country myself, it's strange for me to see that they don't see it as cheating. i wonder where that difference in mindset comes from. As for the clients they have i can understand that it isn't always about the sexual act alone.
@LukasVokrinek
Ай бұрын
I think it comes down to the mindset of work being work and as such it being completely separate from private / personal life. In that perception, prostitution is just like any other work and the nature of it does not set it apart in that view.
@Sardiatae
Ай бұрын
The mindset comes from the fact that love is a European invention while business transactions in personal relationships is purely a Asian thing hence they dont marry or date for love at core.
@Avantime
Ай бұрын
The Japanese mindset is that marriage and family is a duty, to fulfil your parents' wishes and to provide for your children. Most in the West marry because they fell in love, and then they get divorced when they fall out of love. If a Japanese couple fall out of love, they'll stay together for the sake of the children, but seek their own pleasures (physical for men, emotional for women) from other people.
@sboinkthelegday3892
Ай бұрын
No, it's just usual double standard, they say whatever justifies their side on the issue. And it works both ways, women in general view men as accessory. That's why even going for drinks or helping a girl out stranded on the roadside, IS "cheating", because all it takes is her jealousy. All this "cheating" rhetoric comes from collectivist mindset of setting universal rules and female privilege, that men collectively have to provide. "Cheating" is about women's intrasexual cattyness about "she took my property", because in the first place they view their men as property. It never once was about making a mutualist contract and respecting THAT relationship, it's just universalist view of something ALL MEN owe to ALL WOMEN. You "cheat" on rules that women in locker rooms set up among themselves, even up to divvying couples up based on who's in which "league", so women don't have to cat fight over boys. This happens because women do not understand consent. They don't take on work or relationship by RESPECTING the two sides of the agreement, it's always that "the workplace" has to make sure they are safe. That's why women won't do the really crucial jobs, they work as if being parented. Actual consent is when you understand that you're out on your own, and the workplace is a partner, whose job is only to MITIGATE the risks that YOU decide to work on. Your both duty is to prevent the realization of risks. But women view twisted consent as nothing but yielding to what the workplace "forces" you to do, and need 100% absolute reimbursement. So if the venture doesn't pan out, the workplace has to spot the difference and pay dividends ANYWAY, at a loss. Women think that this is the defintion of consent, jsut a synonym for agreeing to something on a whim. Which by the way is what child workers do when they DON'T consent, the parent is who consents until the child CAN. And for women it's never.
@user-zq7vi8lm4z
Ай бұрын
@@LukasVokrinek from what i know the mindset also come from japanese dude. Because when they do it its not cheating but if their gf or wife do it they went mad
@ABC-ki9cc
Ай бұрын
Apart from the fact that I tend to think that everything you do without your partner’s consent is cheating, I think the worries about the wellbeing of women working in this kind of industry are justified. It’s good to hear them speak for themselves and that they don’t feel forced to do this work. But like they say themselves, the work can be dangerous and the way they talk about getting compliments makes me wonder about their self esteem. And why would they sell themselves to start a business, where men don’t seem to need that? I once read that an estimated 50-90% of female workers do not, or at a certain point no longer, (fully) voluntarily work in the industry. I’ve heard several workers say that, if they had had a better childhood, they wouldn’t have chosen to work in this industry. I think these are serious issues.
@Dee-pv8lb
Ай бұрын
My friends and I went to famous audience participation s-x show in Japan. A Japanese couple was next to us. He ended up going to the stage and participated with a lady. His wife was telling us that was her husband and was so proud of him... surrealistic.
@ma.christinesanchez6342
Ай бұрын
You cannot simply compare paying for sex to paying for a haircut! Having a haircut is not an intimate act shared by two committed people. It is just weird that these sex workers would feel the other way if they were the wives. They were even saying it is okay if the wife does not find out, cheating starts with lying! This culture needs to see that! I believe this problem stems from the inability to communicate properly. Married couples and those who are in an exclusive relationship should be open to talk about their sexual compatibility. If they cannot talk about it comfortably then they should not be a romantic couple in the first place. With the prostitutes saying that not all clients want to engage in sexual act, it boils down to communication, talking…And do not get me started with STDs… This part of the Japanese culture is sad and disgusting.
@Slays_Media
Ай бұрын
To be fair, sex isn't some intimate thing unless both parties make it so. It's no haircut, but it might as well just be a massage. 🤷♂️
@acasoimporta_2729
13 күн бұрын
@@Slays_Mediasex is inherently intimate, what is possible is sex with no love involved
@valdius85
Ай бұрын
“so many of them just want to talk” - a valid inside into many Japanese marriages.
@kelseya2802
Ай бұрын
I wonder how these men would feel if their wives were doing the same thing with other men or working at these places part-time...would they see it only as a service then?
@richardgomes3228
Ай бұрын
Would you sleep with your brother, father or grandfather for money, maybe teacher or priest? After all, it is just a service like getting a haircut. Do you find your opinions a little conveniently self-serving?
@SeiryuuT
Ай бұрын
👏
@LukasVokrinek
Ай бұрын
In an ideal world, only single people would partake in this (which is a significant percentage of course). If anyone is in a relationship that permits this, it's acceptable, but I find it difficult to imagine that such a relationship is healthy. Marrying a cheater leads to unhappiness over time, a lack of trust, a broken home if you have children and ultimately divorce in most cases, as far as I am personally aware of in my circles.
@rokko_fable
Ай бұрын
They are short-sighted fools, trying to justify their terrible behavior.
@jadenquest9544
Ай бұрын
Cheating is cheating. Full stop.
@Ex.zed.
Ай бұрын
This video is about asking prostitutes if the service they are offering is immoral.
@Ex.zed.
Ай бұрын
Asking night workers if the service they offer is immoral.
@Engr.Strang3
Ай бұрын
Well.. different cultures have different ideals.. I've learnt to respect that
@deonbekende
Ай бұрын
@@Engr.Strang3 If you are in open relationship and your partner is ok it's not cheating but if you are not : It's called being a cheater and you are just betraying someone you are suppose to care about and it make you a POS. Period.
@Engr.Strang3
Ай бұрын
@@deonbekende you're making it sound like I'm happy with it lol.. I didn't say that it's right.. remember the word I used "respect"... I've learnt to respect it since a good number of Japanese people think this way... Heck people might call me a moral extremist because I choose to remain celibate until marriage.. some of my female friends even think that I'm weird for that.. eek maybe I've said too much lol.. I'm just trying to emphasize that nothing can justify the action to me... But you know what? ... I also realized that a good number of Japanese people have this same mentality ... Hence my statement... If the other partner agrees to it. ... If they don't "culturally" see it as cheating... I can respect that ... After all it's their life but I'll never advice anyone to do it.. especially when they're in a relationship or worse ..married
@Fanaz10
Ай бұрын
Nobita's face throughout this video xD
@MrWescottX
Ай бұрын
Ikr 😂
@AB-tv2rm
Ай бұрын
😂😂
@aeronwolfe7072
Ай бұрын
every single ONE of these women, are BEAUTIFUL... it hurts my HEART that they have to do this kind of work. I REALLY wish the government would DO SOMETHING to employee these ladies, so they didn't have to do this kind of work. i mean, if they WANT to, i guess that's a different story, but man, it just, it CAN'T be their first choice... i feel bad...
@kingmaafa120
Ай бұрын
What goes around comes around Esp in Japan 🇯🇵
@armartin0003
Ай бұрын
It's instinct for most people to develop attachments to those they have sex with. It's the way we are programmed, because these bonds helped us survive when we were evolving. For some people who don't have the capacity for emotion (either through genetics or because the world has hurt them too much) they don't have this problem. For them, I think they are a good match for the prostitute. However, for a man who is feeling lonely, and is missing a partner & true connection to heal their soul it is better to visit a therapist than the prostitute. They say that emotions aren't involved, but they can fake those emotions and sell a dream. Ultimately, the girlfriend experience may prevent a man from being able to have a real relationship in the future and cause him a lot of emotional trauma. It is like treating cancer with pain killer, not a very good solution. As for the young women. I wish we had a world where they didn't have to sell their bodies to reach for their goals and dreams. Only women who do this work because they think it's fun and dream of being a prostitute should be doing it. That's my opinion. I think, if that was the case, you would find very few prostitutes comparatively.
@speedycatz
Ай бұрын
Soft language is also quite common in Japan. For instance, porn stars are referred to as "sexy actresses," and mistresses are called "second partners." Essentially, they believe that by changing the terminology, they can justify their immoral behaviors.
@shin-ishikiri-no
Ай бұрын
Found the Westerner.
@speedycatz
Ай бұрын
@@shin-ishikiri-no And your point is? Last time I checked I’m not a westerner though.
@shin-ishikiri-no
Ай бұрын
@@speedycatz The point is that I successfully identified the Westernized person.
@speedycatz
Ай бұрын
@@shin-ishikiri-no Congratulations, your analysis is commendable.
@shin-ishikiri-no
Ай бұрын
@@speedycatz Thanks.
@cerealkillo2813
Ай бұрын
I rally appreciate the work that you do Nobita-san. Thank you for the hard work.
@Mjflight98
Ай бұрын
Cheating is cheating no difference.
@MrWescottX
Ай бұрын
Ikr. In the USA 🇺🇸 n Japan 🇯🇵
@Mjflight98
Ай бұрын
@@MrWescottX its everywhere dude Sad reality.
@MrWescottX
Ай бұрын
@@Mjflight98 yup. Worldwide not just my home country America.
@Hardeep2782
Ай бұрын
Hello Nobita san I’m living in japan osaka I’m facing problem now my Japanese wife take away from me my child 😢I’m having stress now my case in the court she don’t allow meet me my son very hard time for me only 3 hours once a month. Only my baby forget my face always 😢 here is system not good about child custody all foreigners parents
@crozraven
Ай бұрын
Call me "traditional" but being unfaithful like cheating is already a clear sign of negative/bad things that may very well ruin a marriage. But it's also rather hypocritical of Japan culture & government to practically ban polygamy under legal laws. Polygamy is literally one of the best solution to avoid prostitution & cheating in marriages. Not only that, with certain laws, the wives actually protected in the family. "Prostitution is not cheating" is arguably the biggest most successful campaign by Japan segs industry since it's very doubtful such sense of culture even existed in the past.
@esm1817
Ай бұрын
It says a lot that most of the prostitutes said they wouldn't want to know if their husband was visiting a prostitute. To me, that says that deep down, they know it's infidelity. Intimacy is too emotionally complex to say that if you don't have feelings it's not wrong. What if one person (the prostitute, for example) has feelings but the man who is seeing her does not? What if she wants to carry the relationship out of the bedroom? Furthermore, do these girls date other men in their free time, or do they need to hide what they do for a living in order for men to develop feelings for them? And I can see that for a lot of these men what they are craving is actually emotional--which, to me, leads naturally to the development of feelings. It's a gray area where a lot can go wrong. The women and the society can rationalize all they want, but I think that the health of the overall society will give away that prostitution is in fact, a net ill for society and not a gain. My personal opinion is that men feel better after earning the sax act. It may feel less naughty, but they don't feel regretful or gross and weird about it afterward when it's with their wives.
@educateyourself3872
Ай бұрын
When men “earn” it, it’s a million times more dangerous for the wife because feelings get involved. The service prevents feelings getting involved and therefore saves marriages.
@mars9399
Ай бұрын
I think it's a net ill for society because it encourages the growth of this industry. (1) Customers will blur the line between real people and real relationships with prostitutes. This may increase misogynistic attitudes and dangerous behavior towards women if customers can no longer afford prostitutes. (2) Customers may think that they can solve all their relationship problems by going to the prostitute. (3) Customers visit the prostitute instead of a real therapist or experience real hobbies. (4) Young people, women, with little education and skills will be convinced this is their only viable line of work if this industry keeps growing. (5) Less people will feel invested in starting a family when its so easy to pay someone to give you a similar experience without 'all the drama' and self work involved in maintaining a real relationship. (6) In a real life setting, people who get to have relationships work hard in life and on their own character. This reflects the concept of survival of the fittest. People who never have to work hard or struggle in life do not truly survive and do not leave behind a legacy for future generations.
@educateyourself3872
Ай бұрын
@@esm1817 you don’t understand men very well. Men who you have heard say they enjoy earning it say it because it looks cool and they don’t like to look desperate. If women don’t want it to happen, they should not allow men to leave home too horny or under appreciated. It’s that simple. Men don’t like to cheat, and they can have good, worry-free sex at home with no latex. This is what men want and will commit to one woman for the e purpose of doing so. Unfortunately, women almost always decide to be stingy about it despite the promise of monogamy to them!
@educateyourself3872
Ай бұрын
@@mars9399 what you wrote shows that you have no idea about this industry, don’t understand men’s feelings, don’t understand why women do this job, and don’t understand the advantages of a real relationship for men. I think you should talk to women in the industry about themselves and their clients.
@shaenteseidh12
Ай бұрын
Of course, the sex workers are going to promote and self-justify that it isn't cheating. From a business perspective, it would be inefficient to say: "Yes, by paying for our services, you are being unfaithful and horrendous to your partner." It's their livelihood and source of income, so equating negative things with the service would hurt this source of income. Interestingly, many sex workers report that their clients often seek companionship and socialization, highlighting the broader societal issues of loneliness and overwork in Japan. The cultural approach to how prostitution is viewed in Japan compared to the West is also key. In most Western countries like France and Sweden, laws target the client, criminalizing the purchase of sexual services to reduce demand and offer support for sex workers to exit the industry. This reflects an individualistic approach, focusing on personal accountability and victim protection. In contrast, Japan's legislation seems more focused on controlling and punishing the visibility of sex work rather than the business itself, aiming to maintain the "social harmony" valued in Japanese culture. Certain forms of regulated sex work are tolerated, while street solicitation is criminalized, reflecting a pragmatic approach to public order.
@johnrobinson3117
Ай бұрын
I find this immensely frustrating. However well-spoken and mature these women are, pretending sex work is somehow comparable to anything else and that young people cannot be directly and indirectly manipulated with relative ease is asinine, to put it lightly. I find your lack of rigor allows what could be an honest conversation to turn into a bizarre infomercial. There are painful stories to be told here, that deserve to be told, and allowing them to be downplayed like this makes me question your humanity.
@casualweekday-ytshadowbang2469
Ай бұрын
Work culture. It reminds me of the numerous Japanese firms that display a philosophical page on their sites. Except that once you’re actually employed there, it’s not dreamy at all. Tragic cases even make the news.
@Tangible_D
Ай бұрын
All this cycle does is make the husband and wife become more estranged instead of facing the issues in the relationship
@Sonosuke
Ай бұрын
Great video as always!
@Tama2024plus
Ай бұрын
The institution called marriage hardly has any value and relevance left. Why even bother with the pain of marriage.
@SeiryuuT
Ай бұрын
Marriage is not for soothing your pain. It's for making a family and raising kids.
@Alexander-dg8sh
Ай бұрын
Marriage is in contemporary human nature. It is not a man made institution. If done correctly, it provides, among other things, a safe framework for raising healthy children. If marriage is only seen as a way to conveniently manage a household and cheating is OK, then the couple won't have the incentive to have kids - hence the decline of population. And if they do have children, there is a high risk of kids being traumatized by lack of love between the parents, leading to mental health issues, bullying, self-harm, etc.
@kkrkkr3531
Ай бұрын
They are just 20 , at that time i was preparing for competitive exams, and simuteneously full time job. Trust me i had no maturity until 25. So girls into prost at 20 is very very dangerous for themselves too. Where they see themselves after 30. 😢
@yasaiasazuke
Ай бұрын
たくさん責める人々の計画は失敗によく終わったと思います。辞めたい人にあまり助けていません。
@dakinebrah6246
Ай бұрын
Japan has history of geisha and red light districts as well. Brothels were run by women as well. Nothing new under the sun. Its just the brothel is at the comfort of their home and convenience.
@perrywinkle5000
Ай бұрын
Geisha were not prostitutes.
@dakinebrah6246
Ай бұрын
@perrywinkle5000 The geisha system is thought to have emerged in the 17th century to provide a class of entertainers set apart from courtesans and prostitutes, who plied their trades respectively among the nobility and samurai. The geisha system was traditionally a form of indentured labour, although some girls, attracted by the glamour of the life, volunteered. Usually, a girl at an early age was given by her parents for a sum of money to a geisha house, which taught, trained, fed, and clothed her for a period of years. Then she emerged into the society known as karyūkai (the “flower and willow world”) and began earning money to repay her parents’ debt and her past keep. The most sought-after geisha could command large sums from their customers. Besides providing entertainment and social companionship, geisha sometimes maintained sexual relationships with their clients. Read the last few sentences. Though not supposedly prostitutes, it was a form of prostitution, earning money for said services.
@stellarokami5052
Ай бұрын
All of this is just a big yikes. Perhaps I’m too American to be more open minded about this part of Japan. Cause us Americans take cheating very seriously, when you are with someone you shouldn’t fool around with anyone else.
@mars9399
Ай бұрын
If you steal money and no one ever finds out, is it stealing? Yes.
@MegaHogzilla
Ай бұрын
Thank you for letting these gals speak their minds. I thought they had some interesting insights. 👍
@victorbressler7156
Ай бұрын
super interesting watch
@DashedSimpusMaximus
Ай бұрын
"18-24 year old's" doing this work, I could hardly go to school/work on time.. Sad state of affairs my friend.
@acmelbourne
Ай бұрын
Its not unusual for under age girls to be working the trade, police used to round them up, then the quality social networking sites took off so they arranged meetings online. Not sure what part of the world you are but there are girls work the trade in Western countries while at University.
@cbem2160
Ай бұрын
All these foreigners imposing their own values 😂
@malamasaw1
Ай бұрын
They look so professional but they don't know much about diseases spreading. That's why when I was in kabukicho and friends kept inviting, then I just turned them down. You see Japanese want to be healthy but they know less about HIV and syphilis. Doctors are too expensive for them so they don't get regular check ups.
@Lifeisgoodxxx-jx8pm
25 күн бұрын
Sad
@eLsain
Ай бұрын
100% cheating unless the couple wanted an 'open' relationship which is not common
@crreamuu
Ай бұрын
The fact that these girls are younger than me 😅
@kakaiyu
Ай бұрын
Reminder that these are obviously biased opinions since they're coming from people whose livelihood largely depends on cheating. I wouldn't view this as the opinions of the average Japanese person
@daveb3987
Ай бұрын
It’s always cheating if the partner doesn’t know or give permission.
@linksieghart1387
Ай бұрын
So Sad They think them self as an object, when they've become in serious relationship/marriage they will realize they don't want become an object, what an irony😒
@AlohaBlockchain
Ай бұрын
Women are lucky, being able to earn a comfortable living doing what everyone loves the most.
@thewepajnc
Ай бұрын
they're saying it cuz they benefit from it, ask them when they're out and the answers will be different.
@inquisitvem6723
Ай бұрын
The reason they don’t think it’s cheating is due to so many single men visiting them so they assume all are single and not taken
@dolphdr
Ай бұрын
Thanks for the report. It is interesting to see that the main reason the girls find for people to go to them is the need for warm human interaction, and to have someone who can listen to them. The same thing is what the girls who fall for hosts search. This industry made around the need for human interactions, make me think that in Japanese culture (now - don't know before) not only you don't have it at a family level or even lovers level, but also that you cannot be sure about people's honesty if they gave you that for free. just some thoughts. Thanks again for your interesting videos 👍
@bugrist
Ай бұрын
Compromised society (Japan), or simply crippled society?
@crimsonsage7218
Ай бұрын
Not judging anyone… but life is super short and this is seeking out momentary pleasures vs finding true happiness. I don’t think momentary pleasures are worth the risks. True love is real and it begins with full acceptance of yourself, and then you can be there for someone else. This totally changes my view of Japan 🤦♀️
@SawdustSoftwareSiliconChippy
Ай бұрын
How will those women have a normal relationship with a partner, after servicing several thousand clients? Will any male want to have a intimate relationship with any of them? I think the question that needs to be asked (interviewing older women), is what their quality of life is like when they are 50, 60 and older. Did older prostitutes become married, mothers, financially secure, or poor, homeless, and without family? I'm amazed, you were able to find people, willing to discuss this sensitive issue.
@worawatli8952
Ай бұрын
On cheating or not cheating, I think the only case that it's not cheating is that both of them know and agreed letting their husband or wife into it (like that one at 1:06) , sounds insane, but it's happening a lot for their personal reasons, these people just don't openly talk about it as it's not well accepted practice in most cultures. Other than that, not telling or hiding it is cheating.
You can't deny it is hard fact that it's cheating, be it cultural or not. If you look back at it, it's just an excuse made up by society so they can get away with it. I may not like how open the men are here talking about it (been in Japan for 7+ years) but that won't stop me from really pointing this issue out.
@Riitje
Ай бұрын
Can't say I agree, but I understand what the girls are saying about it not being cheating. To me it would be, but I also know most people aren't honest about their desires even in a happy marriage. If there's no love involved, and it's purely transactional, I can see how they would come to that conclusion. The culture where I come from is different from the Japanese perspective, but that doesn't make it "right". Both can exist and be true.
@rokko_fable
Ай бұрын
Japan is depressing as hell. When even a bf/gf experience can be rented and is comodified, you have reached a new low. Everybody knows that paying for someone's attention/body will never be satisfying. You know it's fake and transactional.
@valdius85
Ай бұрын
Many Jp wives, especially after kids are born, are as excited to be intimate with their partner as they are doing dishes. I mean all kinds of intimacy, starting from a kind smile and conversation to bed itself. After feeling invisible for years, many men decide to feel like they are with a woman again. I was told multiple times that I don’t matter anymore. Hearing something like that leaves a scar.
@Riitje
Ай бұрын
@@valdius85 Yeah I've heard about that. Sexless marriages are fairly common. Being in such a situation is difficult. It's why I can see why the Japanese mentality is like that. Sorry to hear about your situation. Hope you're doing good now. Being from Europe(Netherlands), we're much more individualistic, which has other issues. Ultimately it would be best for everyone to be in a marriage where you'd both matter to eachother and lift eachother up. That's not always possible though. Finding a soulmate is difficult.
@robertmoneymaker999
Ай бұрын
Cheating is, by definition, breaking the agreed upon rules. If those rules say, “prostitution is okay”, then it’s not cheating. It seems those are the rules many Japanese women are operating on.
@ZaWyvern
22 күн бұрын
Yup. That about sums up Japan on the topic. There are two Japanese rules at work here. Don't cause others around you to feel bad and don't be a bother/nusiance. So by the logic, something like adultery is only bad if it causes someone to feel bad or causes a nusiance. So if you avoid telling your partner you're sparing them feeling bad and if you satisfy your desires elsewhere then you are not being a bother. The old "but I did it for you baby" joke. Also they shut down when they hear foreigners say it's bad, attributing it to some random rule we have from the bible. When really it's a matter of respect. The easiest way I've found is pointing out how everyone takes off their shoes at the genkan. There are many explanations as to why, but the reason is respect. Even if you live by yourself or no one is home, you don't walk in the house with your shoes on. You're protecting the inside of the house. Just in that way, you always act as if your partner is with you... even if they aren't. To respect them, respect the relationship and respect yourself. For how involved and strict Japanese social realtionships are their personal relationships are just a mess of "what I feel like" rules. From the outside we come to the same effects so we assume there is some commonality between us. But the west and Japanese just look at things too differently for the societies to mesh. And for anyone in a mixed relationship, it's likely someone is going to have to convert.
@mrquicky
Ай бұрын
Cheating is cheating, whether you are paying for it or not. It is truly enlightening as a foreigner to understand this concept and I honestly feel like those interviewed don't even believe it themselves. Luckily for me, I do not take them seriously in their attempts to convince me. Were I truly to believe it, my opinion of the entire country would be significantly diminished.
@blooddumpster3427
Ай бұрын
Ah yes, the enlightened westerner who knows better than everyone else
@mrquicky
Ай бұрын
@blooddumpster3427 having lived in Asia for more than a decade, I'd say I know more than the average westerner.
@AlcaholicDriving
Ай бұрын
From what I can tell, most Japanese DO think prostitution is cheating. Of course the prostitutes here will say it’s not… they want more customers, it’s logical for them to take this position. And regarding other videos where they do street interviews, those are very cherry picked usually in more party areas and with more non-traditional Japanese girls.
@mrquicky
Ай бұрын
@@AlcaholicDriving Most of the countries I lived or traveled through seemed very relaxed about polygamy. It's illegal in most of them, but the concept of minor wives is very common. However, the minor wife is considered part of the family & usually lives in her own home on the same family plot with her children. In this case, I guess it is more formalized than cheating. I have seen women in these very same countries, stab their husband over infidelity. Stabbing or assault with a deadly weapon, is not punished nearly as harshly. It's the wild, wild east. 😅
@Avantime
Ай бұрын
@@mrquicky In Asia many people, especially in the upper classes, separate sex and the obligation to raise a family and provide male heirs in the clan's name. In a way it's not too different from the old aristocracy in the Pride and Prejudice days. Polygamy is illegal and as such illegitimate relations is kept secret in many instances, and the wealthy family patriach is expected to cheat from time to time, especially in sex-permissive societies like Thailand. The wife marries (and stays married) because of family pressure, or for economic security akin to a trophy wife. and this is the sacrifice she is expected to make so she can make herself and her children economically set for life, and most knew what they're getting into. This is often illustrated in Asia's versions of Western TV shows like Dynasty and Succession. A good example is Melania Trump. Melania knew what she got into when she married Trump, that he would have sex with other women. It's just that she didn't expect him to run for president (and win), and to suffer the indignity of not just her private life revealed in the front page of newspapers, but also a criminal investigation and conviction for Trump in relation to his infidelity. But she endures nonetheless because unlike Ivana who could fleece him in the divorce settlement, Melania can't. For middle class families it is much less acceptable, because economic resources are limited and she's not for sharing. Some would tolerate their husbands' infidelity with sex workers, but most won't.
@rmn4
Ай бұрын
I realise the comments are quite divisive, but just want to shout out Nobita for delivering another insightful interview Whatever my own opinions or beliefs, it's definitely fascinating to hear from these unique perspectives. Thanks Nobita!
@maomaojoe2711
13 күн бұрын
Wow, I like the answer from Pickles. He is so straight forward to the point.
@sissy4506
Ай бұрын
YES IT IS CHEATING.Somebody has brainwashed these women into thinking if they get paid it's not.SICKENING
@rhoetusochten4211
Ай бұрын
I can't say that I understand where the girls are coming from, but thank you for sharing their perspective. One thing that gets me is the statement that it is just like going to the salon. What if your husband was your usual hairdresser? Would it be cheating if you snuck out and had someone else treat your hair? Would he be justified in being hurt if he did find out? Would his peers mock and disrespect him if they found out? And, even if he never found out, would you respect him just as much?
@wakaneut
Ай бұрын
So, these girls : "Physical cheating is not cheating. Only emotional cheating is cheating". That's crazy to me, and I'm a guy.
@kyotoben610
Ай бұрын
Remember, Japan is a Bhuddism based country. No sin is attributed to consensual sex between adults. Those from Christian based countries see it as a sin or cheating.
@4ngelo_
Ай бұрын
Japan is a Shintoism based country, Buddhism is secondary, and a massive wave of atheism is now, unfortunately, the leading philosophy.
@AndrewTheMandrew531
Ай бұрын
Japan is Buddhism-based country, yet see how the Tokugawa Shogunate and Empire of Japan cracked down on pornography. One cannot hide behind the excuse of a different culture if that same culture found it reprehensible only a century ago. There was a recent moral shift around the world. A moral decay that sprung forth from America in the wake of the Second World War.
@Youtuber-ly6tx
Ай бұрын
The idea of cheating doesn't stem from religion. Just check out the animal kingdom. It's instinctual. Nobody wants it. Adultery is in the 10 commandments but so are murder and stealing. Because they are there doesn't mean it must exclusively be a religious thing but it's obvious to a society that it causes problems. In this video, the very very fine line of having feelings is considered cheating! Hugging with feeling is cheating. Talking and drinking with feeling is cheating. The women here are delusional if they think there's zero feeling from a man. The idea that sexual release is require is a crazy mind virus in Japan. But hell, I guess we'll all see where this ends up in the future.
@kyotoben610
Ай бұрын
@4ngelo_ yes, first Shinto, then Bhuddism, both have rituals still observed today. Bhuddism addresses the sexual connotations, making prostitution not a sin to borrow the word from Christianity. Although most are not devout Bhuddists now, it still prevades the thinking.
@AndrewTheMandrew531
Ай бұрын
@@kyotoben610 And yet, the Shogunate and Empire cracked down on pornographic materials. One cannot hide behind culture when people a century ago would have found modern society morally repugnant.
@muajin
Ай бұрын
This is pretty wild. It’s also not uncommon for newly married couples to sleep in separate rooms or bed.
@Crystantemum
Күн бұрын
"Changing the flavor..." Last I checked neither of our sexual organs have a tongue soooooo
@ragebyte
Ай бұрын
If he felt the need to find another sex partner, there is something wrong in the relationship. A man doesn't ever need two women to satisfy him. And if he truly loves his wife, he won't want another woman.
@KumaOso16
Ай бұрын
Definitely a difference in culture right here. Interesting to see how women in Japan feel about it.
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