I witnessed this about 25 years ago and wrote what I saw down and kept it all these years. I watched a very old couple come out of a store the other day. The man held the door for the woman and after she made it through she waited for him. They then held each others arms for support and wobbled across the parking lot. The old boy took her over to the passenger side of an old but impeccably cared for pickup truck with a WW II era Army unit sticker on it. He opened the door for her and took her arm with one hand and eased her into the seat. He pulled the seatbelt forward so she could grasp it easily and she took it from him and clicked it in. He closed the door and wobbled around to the driver's side which she had reached over and unlocked. He climbed in and the truck slowly pulled away. I learned a lot in just a few minutes from those two white haired folks. A lasting relationship is built by helping one another and when one of you gets ahead of the other by waiting for them to catch up. It is forged by giving each other support as you navigate the rugged terrain of life, by pulling together and not apart. You must rely on your mutual strength as you hold each other up. While one helps the other the other does not simply receive but always seeks to give.
@MsGoldgirl
10 жыл бұрын
I don't believe in luck. I believe in making good choices.
@gloryb-tv
9 жыл бұрын
All great thoughts, Marnie. I just found this video today. Every single woman needs to hear this and get the encouragement to "just say no" to a guy who isn't right for them. I think you provide that encouragement with this video. I would add "non-negotiable #6" that you need to know how the other person acts when they're angry -- especially when they're angry at you! John Gottman (a univ prof) studied this and wrote "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail" and it's all based on his years of studying married couples and what they do when they're angry. I liked what he wrote so much -- as it also relates to how other people in our lives (outside of marriage) treat us when we're angry -- that I'm including it in work I'm doing related to subtle workplace bullying. That said, I do have friends whose husbands didn't show their forms of anger while they were dating or engaged. These men showed it only after they got married. (They're all now divorced.) It was a type of Jekyll-and-Hyde thing. The women concluded that when you're dating a man you should find out what makes him angry and then do that! See how he responds. I figure if you date him for long enough you'll eventually do something that makes him angry.
@MsGoldgirl
9 жыл бұрын
HowToDoStuffWatchHre Excellent points!
@shelley7353
10 жыл бұрын
I'm 46 years old, divorced and AGREE WITH YOU 100%! COMPATIBILITY IS THE KEY!
@MsGoldgirl
12 жыл бұрын
People really don't change. Not basic personality traits. Interests, yes. Personalities, not so much.
@natalietanner6150
8 жыл бұрын
Great video, and I am happy to say my husband and I have all 5 of those non-negotiables. Thanks for keeping it real!
@MsGoldgirl
12 жыл бұрын
I always knew I wanted to be a SAHM. My future husband and I even talked about it on our first date! I had planned on working until the birth of our first child, and was lucky enough to plan when I was going to get pregnant so the birth would occur about 2-3 weeks after my teaching year was over. I look at being a mom as a kind of job, and approach it with the same determination and goals as when I had a paid job. It's very satisfying. Congrats on your pregnancy!
@MsGoldgirl
12 жыл бұрын
Yes-I went to graduate school and received a Master of Arts in Teaching, as well as one in Reading. I was a reading specialist for grades K-3 and a 2nd grade teacher.
@mickyunit
8 жыл бұрын
This video is an oldie but a goodie. Thanks, Marnie! This was my introduction to Nur. love her so much too!
@courtneytherunner13
13 жыл бұрын
I know you think you don't make sense in a lot of your videos but honestly, you make so much sense with everything you say. It all flows together beautifully and and you explain everything so well! Don't be so hard on yourself!!
@jujubee_1028
8 ай бұрын
I happen to come across one of your vids that popped about how not to look frumpy😂. I’m in my mid-50’s and been married twice. I’m just watching this now. I agree with everything you’ve pointed out 100%! Both marriages didn’t have everything you’ve mentioned to make them work. All women looking to marry should watch this. Thank you for putting it out there!
@MissVargasLady
11 жыл бұрын
I so completely agree with everything you said. Hallelujah for someone who says it like it is! I loved what you said about women wanting to be taken care of, having the same drive, similar intelligence... Seriously, thank you for being blunt and honest. I know many people hate this thinking, but it is TRUE!
@mariequinn370
Жыл бұрын
Excellent advice, and again the key is compatibility and being honest about your expectations.
@nicolchristopher6756
10 жыл бұрын
Why do women put disclaimers up about their appearance? I have seen that on several videos. It's like saying "I know I'm ugly. You don't need to tell me" or something. It's weird.
@WhiskeyGirl13
Жыл бұрын
Totally agree with everything you said ❤. I wish more people with social media accounts would be so honest! Too many are worried about DEI.....Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, all of which are not only Overrated, but destroying our country. Your inner beauty certainly far outshines your external beauty in this video, and makes me value and appreciate you far more! Thank you for sharing this from your heart ❤️!
@Steelhorsecowboy
9 жыл бұрын
I am not sure why I watched this. I am in my home office on a rainy snowy morning and I need background noise while I write long and tedious reports and analysis on real estate investments. That being said, I have been happily married for 36 years, together for 42, and I think you hit the major points except one. Love him for who he is. Don't marry him thinking you will change him into your ideal. Marry your ideal man in the first place. In those many years I have been married we have both changed a lot but our core values have not. Professionally, I sold my company and my career is in low gear while hers is highspeed as a COO. It's a bit of a transition but I remember her supporting me early on when I would come home late and "veg" in front of the TV. Now I have dinner ready whenever she gets there and don't say a peep about how late it might me. Now, I watch as she eats off a tray while she answers work emails on her laptop. Now I listen while she tells me who she hired, who she fired and what company they bought. It's tough on the ego but we're in it together and whenever it gets me down I chase the wind on my Harley and forget about everything. When she gets that rare moment off we go on a bike trip together, her clinging to my back, lips and nose touching behind my ear, as we soar over hills and through valleys remembering days long gone when it was just us.
@FashionAplenty
9 жыл бұрын
+Steelhorsecowboy That is so poetic and beautiful to read!
@Steelhorsecowboy
9 жыл бұрын
I wrote this for her a few years ago; It’s a love story like nothing you've ever seen, not read in romance novels nor watched on silver screens. Walking and talking in vertical worlds, loving and lusting in horizontal swirls, long tangled sheets on warm summer nights holding each other until morning’s first light, Together as one, never to be undone, now and forever is the way it will be. Living and loving with just you and just me.
@Steelhorsecowboy
9 жыл бұрын
I write quite a bit, but for my wife's eyes only. I started when I was away in the Army for long periods. She organized the wives and families of the 120 men under my command into a family support group before the Army had formalized groups. She has always had my back. I enjoyed writing her poems and humorous stories when I was away so I continued after I got back. It was a way to put aside her fears and keep us connected. I love the sound of her laughter, although she usually just smiles and rolls her eyes at me. She is my muse, among many other things.
@Steelhorsecowboy
9 жыл бұрын
+FashionAplenty I'm sorry, I started to answer, but I don't know if what works for us works for anyone else. I feel uncomfortable discussing something so personal. It's something special between my wife and I. I don't know how I got here and it just doesn't feel like an appropriate place for someone like me to be. Best wishes to all.
@MsGoldgirl
12 жыл бұрын
So glad you liked it!
@tnscrapchick
9 жыл бұрын
I totally agree with everything you said!!
@healthybitesbrenda
10 жыл бұрын
Totally agree with you on these 5 non-negotiables. There are so many people that think if there are issues, they'll change once they get married or think it won't be that bad. Ohhhh it can! I've seen it first hand as well and it's sad. Another thing to, is that when you're in your twenties (some do), you don't think like you would in your thirties or forties.
@MsGoldgirl
12 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your constructive criticism.
@KitKat-ve2em
9 жыл бұрын
Wow a lot of good points and well worth discussing with your partner. But, I think you missed something important: Politics! If two people have large differences in political views, then its nearly impossible to have a lasting relationship, no matter how nice the person is. Even small differences in political views can affect a relationship.
@lmmbchampion
13 жыл бұрын
Another great video, Marnie! I've always felt that if people were "smarter" about choosing their spouse, the divorce rate in our country would go down. This video can be a very useful tool to anyone who is wise enough to heed the advice in it:) I've been reading several of the comments and I'm so impressed with what great subscribers you have on this channel! xoxo Melody PS. Marriage is wonderful when you've found the right person for YOU--You are worth taking the time to find them!
@lafillehappy
13 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to say that I love your 'life experiences' videos they are some of my favourites. I'm in my early twenties and my mother isn't entirely for talking about this stuff so it's nice to have some answers to my questions. (; It's like talking to a big sister, aunt or mom, thank you so much for doing what you do! (;
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@pinkgurl3533 I always announce on Twitter, usually also on FB, but they're never planned. If you subscribe to me on BlogTV and get a free account, you can also get a text message when my show starts.
@MakijazeKasiD
13 жыл бұрын
Love you, Marnie :) I happen to have a Masters degree in clinical psychology and can tell you that all you said can be backed by by scientific research into human mating - you just beautifully summed up some 30 years of research on the subject in 20 minutes and really emphasized the most important points. It really is all in the similarities and being, as you said, on the same page about religion, politics, sex, rasing kids, pets and such. Great video! Hats off to you.
@bndaviss89
13 жыл бұрын
I just 'favorited' this video. So happy to see it. I just turned 22 and I feel like all of the guys my age (that I've met anyway) still like to go out, party and drink all the time. I keep waiting for them to grow out of it but like you said in the video the right guy for me should already be over that. Thanks so much for making this ! xx
@waikatoref
9 жыл бұрын
I think I agree for the most part. Physical attraction is a big part of it. Also with the religion/spiritual thing. This has actually affected my marriage, we were on the same page at the beginning but I have continued to grow spiritually and my husband now has disregarded it all and this has definitely put a wedge between us in some aspects. I am not sure about the education point because my husband and I are very different in this aspect. Overall good video :) Came here from your Michael and Marnie Mondays video :)
@MsGoldgirl
11 жыл бұрын
Did you always know there were differences that could be problematic, or did it suddenly creep up on you? I'm just curious.
@kristase
9 жыл бұрын
I didn't necessarily agree with a lot of your points in this video, Marnie. For me physical attraction is a small part of being with someone, the emotional side is much more important to me. I think you spoke in broad strokes about addiction, and this may not have been your intent, but I don't think that anyone with an addiction is unlovable. Addiction is forever, and that's an awful lot of people to never marry. Finally, and most concerning, I disagree that there needs to be some rule for education or salary, but I do think a similar work ethic is important. I think balance is necessary, whether it's the man or the wife who is the primary earner. People are becoming more accepting of this when they realize there's no actual reason for the inequality. I do want to be taken care of Marnie, but so does my boyfriend. And if I'm the one who makes more money and he makes more meals, that'd be pretty awesome.
@MsGoldgirl
9 жыл бұрын
cookiesforobama You don't have to agree, and as I stated, these are my personal observations. There are always exceptions to the rule, but after almost 20 years of marriage, I've seen what works and what didn't work for my peer group. Every single reason a couple divorced was because of one of those points. Also, I didn't say that addicts are unlovable, but you should NOT marry and start a family with someone who is not in recovery. Love isn't everything. It's a good start, but there's a lot more to a successful relationship than love.
@kristase
9 жыл бұрын
Marnie Goldberg | MsGoldgirl I understand that, and I watched this video because I wanted to know your opinion. I was stating mine because I wanted to have a conversation about it, maybe learn something from each other. Thanks for sharing yourself.
@TheLauren1113
8 жыл бұрын
My ex is an alcoholic and for me, having been through a marriage with an addict, it is an absolute deal breaker.
@MsGoldgirl
11 жыл бұрын
As for the difference in earnings affecting marriages, all I can say, while sounding completely patronizing (sorry!), is that at 22, nothing seems that hard to overcome, but as time goes on, quiet resentments have a way of flaring up into full blown anger/rage/disgust. I've observed it over and over again.
@inspiretodream3
13 жыл бұрын
I loved this video! My husband and I met in high school. It has been 25 years. Our jobs are totally different, but it works for us. Thanks for posting !
@annsamsmith
13 жыл бұрын
Absolutely true. I think you tried to touch on this with being on the same page with attitude toward work etc. but attitude and approach to finances is extremely important. Before marriage talk through how to handle checking accounts, what you are going to spend your money on, how you spend money, attitude toward saving, whose job would you move for, whose career is more important etc. Most marriages break up due to finances.
@MsGoldgirl
11 жыл бұрын
Everyone can get along great in the beginning, the honeymoon stage. It's after the children come and the stresses add up that the differences in background can play a huge part.
@theluckyvix
13 жыл бұрын
I think this is a great video. I met my husband when i was VERY young (19) and a lot of these issues are so true, even if they seem "taboo". It's just the truth. I think everyone has to find what works for them and what their deal breakers are. These are some really good ones I think.
@lovemylife1010
11 жыл бұрын
I am a new subscriber and I love that you tell it like it is. I am now 40 and I so wish that before I married my first husband someone would have said that to me. It would have saved me 10 yrs. of my life. I don't regret my children but like you said the things you do at 20 are not the things you do later in life. thank you about time someone said it!!!
@TheBihike
13 жыл бұрын
I would like to thank you for saying all the things that you have Marnie! I have to agree with all that you have said. Life will bring so many challenges into our lives, it is important to have stability. The "non negotiables" you mentioned are just that: the backbone of a relationship, what we will be able to lean back on. It does take courage to say these things. Thank you for it!
@MsGoldgirl
11 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for subscribing!
@shirleykendrick1951
11 жыл бұрын
I am 62 this year and married 44 years this year. So I have a little experience. I agree with you on all your opinions. There is a statement I think your viewers should think about, "Every marriage begins with the first date!" Do not date a person you wouldn't want to be married to. My sixth caveat would be to marry only someone who has the same temperment. Such as how they express anger and forgiveness. Someone who holds deep grudges will be hard to live with. Thanks.
@MsGoldgirl
12 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for respectfully disagreeing with me. We do agree that making the decision to spend the rest of our lives with someone should be based on more than an impulse!
@nurberxo
13 жыл бұрын
I didn't want you to stop talking!!!! Jason and I had 2 out 4 and I always told myself that love would compensate for the missing things and it just doesn't! So glad I know now and not later. And you knew right away, ha! Guess I'm not going to grab coffee with the paramedic.....
@tinydancerxfdc
10 жыл бұрын
I'm only 17 (almost 18) but I found this video very helpful! Not that I'm looking to get married anytime soon, but I will definitely keep this advice with me down the line as I start to date. Thanks!
@MsGoldgirl
10 жыл бұрын
You saw it at the perfect time-BEFORE you make a terrible mistake!
@SophiaMarie92
12 жыл бұрын
you give great, honest advise! KEEP TALKING - some people should quit talking bc it makes them sound stupid, but the more you talk, the more intelligent you seem. Discovered your vids today and have watched like 10 so far! Love them and LOVE YOU!
@TrixieV19
13 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your words. My family is not taking it so well which breaks my heart. I am the middle sister of 3, we lost our mother to breast cancer at a young age, and are all very close... but that's why they made planes. I pray that everything works itself out and can visit as much as possible and not let it change our relationship as a family. Ahh! Enough of that sad stuff! I hope you have a good week! :)
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@KJHSMakeupAddict Answer to question 1-people seem to revert back to their original family as they age, so make sure you've discussed in detail how you want to raise your children regarding religion BEFORE you have them. 2-it depends on what the addiction is and if there are children in the marriage. If it's addiction to drugs, alcohol, or something illegal and there are no children yet, then leave.
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@ssburmeister Me too! The fact that you're even aware of the issue is a plus for you.
@RubyWooScarlett
13 жыл бұрын
I agree with some of your points. Definitely you want to find someone with as many similarities as possible. Some people might find that boring but truly, agreeing and seeing eye to eye on a range of topics is what makes everyone happy. The bickering can happen when you both want to watch a different show at the same time, it really doesn't have to happen when you both start to criticize the other's spiritual beliefs, as that turns into a fight quickly.
@TheStyleChronicles
13 жыл бұрын
GREAT GREAT GREAT video!! Every young woman should watch. I do not think girls/women think about these things too much anymore, and they are important for succesful marriages/relationships. Everything comes into play when you start a family and there are children all of the sudden that you have to provide for and educate.
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@TheGLOSSette I didn't "get" them from anywhere-I just noticed those points coming up in other people's relationships. I was a sociology major and a trained observer, so I guess it just comes naturally to me.
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@kyarah I'm not sure there's a set answer on that one, but a major age difference (10+ years) will certainly become more apparent as you get older. A mature older man when you're in your 20's and he's in his 30/40's may seem cool then, but when you're still a vibrant 60-something and now you're a caretaker, that's something else. The same would be true in a reverse situation with the woman being significantly older. A few years either way shouldn't be a big deal.
@ssaah59
13 жыл бұрын
Kudos to you! This was a very good video Marnie. I, unfortunately, was divorced in my late 20s and my doctor gave me much the same advice. The only thing I'd add is to meet everyone in his life...family, friends, co-workers. Not just to see who is in his life, but family relationships, how they deal with each other and what his friends/co-workers think of the person. He can't be one way with you and another with others. Good job!!
@oneprincesslea
13 жыл бұрын
I was married two months ago. I'm in my early 30s, & was looking for all of these things unconsciously; I dated a guy previously for 5 years, & we were completely divergent regarding education and ambition, & he could not understand what I was suffering in grad school. My husband has a PhD and I am working on mine, we have similar drive, as you describe, and he has been a great fit. I know that it is WAY early to proclaim our success, but your video reinforces what I have felt implicitly. TY!!!
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@kendriz I do!! Maybe I'll just type them up and put them on my blog or on Facebook. I'll be sure to Tweet about it when I do.
@MsGoldgirl
11 жыл бұрын
I wasn't speaking in absolute truths. I stated many times there will always be an exception, but by and large, my observations have held true. I'm just curious-this is not meant to come off harshly-but are you in a relationship that is the exception to my "rules"? I am interested in hearing about your experiences.
@TheLauren1113
8 жыл бұрын
Fantastic video! I have been subscribed to you forever and just saw this for the first time. I commented on your other video too but I have to say, your points for my marriage to a "t." I am divorced and everything you said about addiction (he partied a lot in his 20s and didn't stop until his second stint in AA), religious differences (I am Jewish, he was Catholic - we thought we were on the same page before kids but we weren't and it was a huge source of conflict), I made significantly more money (double) than him (although we did have the same amount of education) and I resented carrying the brunt of the financial burden and he felt like my financial success was embarrassing, and finally, we just weren't on the same page in terms of goals. Both of us were driven, but we wanted very different things from life. I have been divorced for almost 5 years and I approach dating with exactly this outlook.
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@nelle4362 It is a very evolved opinion, unfortunately the majority don't feel that way. That's why I put it in there. Good for your parents for setting such a great example for you!
@fillthesea
13 жыл бұрын
I'm a feminist and I totally agree with you about avoiding imbalance in careers/education. I think it is a sign of maturity to think about the logical consequences of choices in terms of your spouse. You are always so charming and beautiful in your vids! Thank you xo davida
@davidh0187dc
10 жыл бұрын
You've done well, congrats. I will turn your question around: Why not be willing to make changes for the one you love? Love is hard to come by. Love is worth making changes. I will make changes (within reason) as I hope she will and I have see evidence that she has. Accepting influence from the other is a deal breaker and that implies that one is open-minded and willing to hear the other without judgment. Being in that frame of mind is based on warmth, love and caring...and a little humor helps as well! That "within reason" part can be a sticking point as you know,
@MsGoldgirl
10 жыл бұрын
I wish you luck and happiness in your relationship. :)
@Christymcq74
12 жыл бұрын
Wonderful advice! Wish I had heard it 17 years ago! Just left a marriage where the education level and motivation levels were not even close. I worked and he wanted to spend the money and stay home with the children. We were clearly on different levels. I should have paid close attention to the type of job he had when we met and should have checked out whether he was actually educated (yep, he lied about college). Great video! Hope others take your advice.
@laurenwhit279
12 жыл бұрын
My parents weren't the same so my siblings and I never went to church when we were little. Once my parents divorced, we started going to church with my mother and when we moved with my dad we started going to church with him. I think that has made me believe more in the religion that i'm a part of, and i'm really glad that I have my husband to share it with. I loved your advice. Oh and your dog perched on your chair is cute! My yorkie loves to do that too.
@OKSooo_TV
10 жыл бұрын
Loving this! You are so speaking the truth.
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@susies7 Where did I say I was an expert? Did you miss the part where I said it had been requested for me to do this?
@daisynation
13 жыл бұрын
@MsGoldgirl I agree with Deniz. My parents have been married 35 yrs, my Mom is a teacher & a published writer and there's never been any rivalry, just total respect. Compromise/compasssion is the key. Mom is Christian, Dad is Atheist. Unconditional love knows no boundaries.
@MsGoldgirl
11 жыл бұрын
You'd be surprised what some people think is appropriate first date conversation, but generally, you probably wouldn't find out about any kind of addiction until further into the relationship. It's pretty rare for someone to change their religious views drastically, but if one member of a couple that was pretty much atheist/agnostic became a born again Christian (or any other devout follower of a religion), I assume that would put a great strain on the relationship.
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@hopenchrist777 "When we allow others opinions to direct us ...who are we slaves to now" is what you said. So, taking that into consideration, I am going to ignore your opinion.
@mizzmanatee
13 жыл бұрын
A very important key also to a lasting relationship is 'Communication" ... If one partner (or both) tends to keep things pent up inside, it will never work. Great video !
@Ressa777
13 жыл бұрын
I completely agree with you on this. So many get caught up right away and think these things don't matter but when reality sets in they do. I am not married but am in a relationship with a blended family and its a constant work in progress, as with any relationship. Most importantly its about not being selfish, you have to think of others first and the children are the most important. But we have to be on this same page always as far as children are concerned. Great video Marnie! :)
@9ilovelife
13 жыл бұрын
A lot of people are disagreeing with your point about how the successfulness of the man & woman, but I definitely think you are right. Sure there are exceptions to all the rules, but I have seen marriages break down over this, including my parents. Obviously, there were other factors, but that was a huge issue.
@TheElfin24
13 жыл бұрын
Isn't it so crap that we all have to be so politically correct and be sure not to upset this person and that. Why can't we just say what we feel anymore? I laughed my socks off, you are so honest and truthful. I've been married to my soulmate for 23 years and we still feel so young and daft. Loving your outlook on life. Joan x
@MsGoldgirl
12 жыл бұрын
In general, addiction is a deal breaker for me. But that's only if they're still an addict. If they've gotten treatment and they're in recovery, and have been for quite some time, then it's a different ball game. Of course, everyone is different, so I'd take it on a case by case basis. Something to consider is that personalities like that are frequently genetic in nature, so it's something that can get passed on to your children (alcoholism has been proven to be genetic).
@makeupTIA
13 жыл бұрын
Nur is seriously stunning. That is so cool that you guys are friends. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the topic. It's nice to hear from someone with a stable, happy marriage.
@TrixieV19
13 жыл бұрын
I couldn't agree with you MORE! It really hit home with me when you mentioned the jobs and the man being a bit more successful. My fiance and I are born and raised in TX. I am a teacher. He works for a corporation that is offering him a promotion which would relocate us to Tennessee within the next few weeks. It's hard to leave, but my friend said, "NEXT to every successful man is a supportive woman." I'll have to leave the teaching field for now... but its what's best for OUR future!
@Lnewell17
13 жыл бұрын
I LOVE your helpful "advice" videos please do more I am almost eighteen and I save them all in my favorites because they are all so helpful and I know I am defenitely going to to use everything you talk about later in life!!
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@Estella0707 I did! I might do some more videos on this topic more in depth on my other channel, where I only hit on one of the non-negotiables at a time.
@aliciav63
13 жыл бұрын
You're just great!! and right on target.I married very late by most standards at 31 (now 48) 4 children ages 11,13,14,17 and actually applied all those rules and they are so true! we have had our ups and downs but never ever had we considered walking away from this marriage the children deserve a mother and father in home together and committed to their best interest. Those rules you talk about are excellent.The point about education is so absolutely accurate You are wise beyond your years.
@lauragonzalez328
Жыл бұрын
Marnie, Enjoyed this very much. I've been married 49 years and you are spot on. Laura
@tarynthesky
13 жыл бұрын
agreed, all very important things! I am 33, married for 8, together for 10, have 2 girls 14& 8 and am teaching (well at least my teenager at the moment) all of these things.... spirituality being the MOST important :) thanks for the video, all great non-negotiables the young should be looking for
@Eslater345
13 жыл бұрын
You are very wise! I have been married 39 years! My husband and I came from very different backgrounds and religions. I was raised Jewish he was sort of Methodist. Our marriage had many strikes against succeeding. it did make it because we grew to be alike even though we did not start out that way! Much easier if you start out on the same page. We worked hard and it did pay off! One thing we did have in common was education. I was a teacher and he was a town planner! Thanks. I am sure the young
@kimberd03
13 жыл бұрын
AGREED. 100%. For all the women out there that are willing to "give in" on any of these points, trust me, you will regret it if you pursue something permanent with that person. I can say this from experience. Just like Marnie, said, it may not be a big deal in the beginning but it will be HUGE someday. You can save yourself a lot of wasted years. It's ALWAYS better to be happy and alone, than in an unhappy relationship.
@KJHSMakeupAddict
10 жыл бұрын
I just happened across this and watched it again, and 1. I can't believe how long I've been following you, Marnie! and 2. I really wish I had listened the first time I watched it!
@MsGoldgirl
10 жыл бұрын
Uh oh!!
@KJHSMakeupAddict
10 жыл бұрын
Ha, uh oh is right! Addictions bad. I got it this time, I swear! :P Live and learn right?
@edenrosederonsard
11 жыл бұрын
OK now that I posted my previous comment, I'd like to say another thing: I really like your honesty. I have been married for 15 years now, and I totally agree with everything you said. Would really like to add a couple of things though: excessive criticism and disrespect are two things are also known to kill loads of marriages. So, yeah, anyone who is watching, don't criticise too much and don't be disrespectful to each other.
@MsGoldgirl
11 жыл бұрын
I don't think it should be an either/or thing. I wouldn't get hung up on the "prestige" part...it's just important that you're both on the same page on as many things as possible.
@shellfonez
13 жыл бұрын
honestly yeah a lot of these points are controversial but not many people would come on here and be so honest about these things; i love the fact that you just say it as it is. so thank you.
@Natashiwa808
13 жыл бұрын
@MsGoldgirl I am not feminist but marriage is based on love. Also, different careers require different education and different lengths of education. Just because one person decided their passion is medicine and one decided that their calling is business. Doesn't mean one person would make more money or less successful than the other. Education does not define a person. Man and wife are a team, not rivals.
@keepdancingmaria
12 жыл бұрын
I love that you posted a video on this topic. I don't agree with all you said, but love that you thought about it and said it. Far too many just don't think dispassionately about the most important decision in the world to them "I love him/her" is good enough. If we would just stop and say, "Is this a good spouse for me?" and answer honestly, so much heartache and vitriol could be avoided.
@MarciaK01
13 жыл бұрын
You make some great points! I have to agree with all of it! You hit the nail right on the head with the areas you covered. And when we are young, and so in love, we tend to think that we can change people through time. Not always true!
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@cybc77 I didn't say we had to be taken care of, just that it helps when they CAN. Wouldn't it be great if we could all find equal partners, instead of having to settle?
@MsGoldgirl
12 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much-that would be an amazing opportunity. Don't think it's going to happen, though!
@dolly1740
12 жыл бұрын
Ms. Goldgirl, I agree with everything you say! I have to add, I married in my teens, had four beautiful children. We do both have the same work ethic, however, I went back to school and got my Master's degree. He did not. We have been together over 45 years, and our marriage value is for the good of the marriage, and children. Don't ask me why it works, but it does. Did I want that for my kids...no all but one went to college, married in their 30's with your goals in mind, thank goodness
@The_Real_DreamM
13 жыл бұрын
Totally agree with you on all points. I would have included in the income point you made that similar attitudes towards money spending / saving is also important. Some people penny pinch, others feel that you "cant take it with you when you are dead", others believe in something inbetween... so many people fight over money! thank you for having the guts to make this video.
@keepdancingmaria
12 жыл бұрын
No question about it, and I agree with almost everything you said, and LOVE that you posted this. Kudos to you.
@jbasom3643
11 жыл бұрын
That's awesome that you're not going to settle, AND you're learning/practicing that lesson! I think it's better for a child to see their parent pick someone that's the right choice than to settle. I wish you and your family the best of luck!
@MsGoldgirl
11 жыл бұрын
Thank you for that. Just because people don't like something doesn't make it less true!
@a1984girl
12 жыл бұрын
Glad someone will say what we are all thinking !! As a new SAHM with an 8 month old and 4 years as a wife I totaly agree with it all.
@08oceanview
13 жыл бұрын
I completely agree with everything you said!!! Being on the same page is so important in regards to anything!!! Morals, standards, everything!! If I had watched this video 3 plus years ago, my situation may be different!!!
@ShaDaisy82
11 жыл бұрын
I completely agree on the education front! I similarly feel that way about the job situation too. You hit it right on the money!
@diegokjaria5739
9 жыл бұрын
I'm 21 and a girl and I totally agree with all you've said!
@MsGoldgirl
13 жыл бұрын
@Natashiwa808 Yes, but they both VALUE education the same amount.
@asiff098
13 жыл бұрын
PLEASE, expand on your mother in-law experience!!!! I'm not married but was in a long term relationship that has ended, his mother was really REALLY hard on me, and I really didn't know how to handle it, since most parents LOVE me! However I could never picture my life with a mother in-law like that. I'd just love to know how you dealt with that uncomfortable situation. BTW LOVED this video and agreed with everything you said!!!
@tcarnec
12 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this video. After watching too much videos about make ups and hauls, this is a very welcome change!
@tilskaar
13 жыл бұрын
Ohh wow! You really made some good pointers here. Somthing to think about, absolutely! And I just got addicted to Millionare matchmaker, Patti is hysterical, AND really good at what she does :)
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