I agree with you and others here that when you're often criticized it's hard to believe you're worthy of praise, even when deserved. Imposter syndrome is something I suffer with. Well done on your million views! Your hard work and dedication is obvious in every video you make, and we appreciate it. 💜
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
You've been there with me for most of them & I truly appreciate it. I had no idea I'd still be doing this now, 6 years ago, let alone that I'd still be engaging with people that knew me in the early, not-so-slick, not so sure of where I was going, days. 💜🐈 Thank you SOO much👏🥂
@autiejedi5857
24 күн бұрын
@@Autistamatic 🥰🥂
@Fittiboy
24 күн бұрын
I find myself appreciating praise very little at best, and it usually makes me uncomfortable. But if someone praises the outcome of my work, instead of me as a person, it feels very nice. I generally create things out of an appreciation for the beauty of some underlying complexity, or because some specific way of approaching a problem feels elegant. When someone comments on this quality that draws me to my work in the first place, that's the best compliment I could ever receive! When I try to point out something cool that I learned while building a project, and I'm just told "your brain is huge," I can't help but feel disappointed. Doubly so, once I realize that I "should" appreciate the compliment.
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
"Praise the work, not the worker.".. I've suggested. I know it's the opposite of most people's expectations, but it seems to suit a lot of us better than positive opinions.
@Fittiboy
24 күн бұрын
@@Autistamatic That's a nice and succinct way of putting it! I'll adopt that phrase for sure!
@smartsmartie7142
24 күн бұрын
If anyone mentions my name I get uncomfortable and when I get praised even more so... I just want to disappear in social situations
@NeurodivergentMom
24 күн бұрын
I can relate
@lokitkeel934
9 күн бұрын
Hearing my actual name can defi itely set me into a bit of a panic.
@nozhki-busha
24 күн бұрын
I am like this when people praise me, it just makes me feel awkward. There is also an element for me of thinking deep down I dont deserve that praise too. Probably impostor syndrome involved. Probably no surprise, but I am autistic too. Oh and congratulations Quinn on the million milestone!
@Lupine.
24 күн бұрын
Same here, but it's gotten better as I've worked on my Toxic Shame. I know it's not exactly relevant (as I don't think I'm Autistic), but I can relate to that experience.
@wendyfollett8099
24 күн бұрын
Hi Quinn! Just wanted to say that your channel helped me to realise that I am autistic. I'm 65 years old and got my formal diagnosis 10 days ago. My biggest surprise was that I am alexythymic so not I'm busy re watching your videos on it. You have been the clearest and most relatable person and your videos brought so much clarity. My assessor said that I am too hard on myself but I believe that I set myself high standards. I don’t want ill considered praise. What I can tell you is that those 1 million views have probably helped more than just me and that your content is well reasoned and communicated clearly. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing me safely to a point where I feel seen and understood. I will be part of your next million as I join you on this journey ❤
@banovsky
24 күн бұрын
I didn’t fully understand how some say it’s like living life on Hard mode; then I realized: only an autistic person would need to explain receiving praise by giving themselves the homework of shooting, editing, posting, and promoting a 10+ minute video about receiving praise. Congrats on the views :)
@PowerMechGuyTechMasterEarl
24 күн бұрын
This video was incredibly impactful. I have been searching for documentation or articles on this experience and nothing has come this close to describing it in a way that felt relatable. When you spoke of numbers, I immediately felt a sense of solidarity. I have been struggling heavily with appreciating my own accomplishments and it wasn't until I started tracking things that I was able to work out what I could actually be proud of. The records of achievement were in, as you so eloquently put it, "currency that means something to me." Thank you for taking such great care to bring clarity and understanding to the autistic experience. And congratulations on 1,000,000 views.
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
💜🐈 Thank you!
@HaakonOdinsson
24 күн бұрын
Oh I’m a bugger for not accepting praise. Squirming mess, yes that sums me up quite well edit: so sorry, I was rushing and didn’t say congratulations on that million. You are good, so it doesn’t surprise me. You’ve helped me
@melaniebagnall3290
24 күн бұрын
Well done and congratulations. As someone recently diagnosed I really appreciate how you communicate. It is helping me to understand myself more.
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
💜🐈 Thank you! Feedback like that is why I do it😊
@wingofafly
24 күн бұрын
I play in a band and one day at practice, the drummer said to me, "I like what you were doing in that song." My response: "I'm not sure it fits with the vocals." The thing is, it's a really cool bit of music that I wrote, which I was really happy with, but the moment I get a compliment about it, I immediately focus on a potential negative and can't accept the positive. Anything I do could be absolutely amazing, but if it's not some idealised version of perfect, I can't accept a compliment.
@towzone
24 күн бұрын
Appreciation, Quinn.
@victorkulkosky1184
24 күн бұрын
I’m familiar with this issue. The pattern is self-contradictory: wanting recognition, to win a contest, and then doubting it if I got what I wished for - “Well, yay, but an orangutan could’ve won an award against that competition,” or “was my entry really that good? I’ve seen better,” or “why did they like that half-assed work but not my better stuff? What do they know?” A voice I call my Inner Liar is always ready to steal my joy. I’ve been fighting back recently. Last year, after my retirement from the local newspaper, the Board of Education recognized me for my contributions to education, through my reporting, commentary and sports coverage. I stood there in the meeting listening to this recital of all the wonderful things I’d done and wanted to say something like, “Who’s this interesting guy you were just talking about?” In a sign of personal growth, I told myself, “Be grateful. You should know by now that they mean it and enjoy the moment.” I later wrote that I didn’t do that work to win awards (mostly true 🤔) but I did appreciate the recognition. In a lifetime of now 65 years, the pattern is still (sometimes desperately) wanting praise and recognition (from my father most of all, but that’s another topic), but self-sabotaging when I got it. Behind all this is a burning question: “Why do I have to do something special to be seen?”
@victorkulkosky1184
24 күн бұрын
Oops! Congrats, Quinn. Give yourself the gift of taking it in.
@RaunienTheFirst
24 күн бұрын
I think my problems with praise mostly stem from the fact that I am, in many areas, a perfectionist*. So when my colleagues tell me that something I made is beautiful, all I can see is the flaws, so the praise feels fake. But on the flip side, when I make something I'm genuinely proud of, I get very excited, and my colleagues don't share the same level of excitement, so any praise I get feels patronising, like how you might react to a child's first macaroni and glue picture. *This perfectionism doesn't limit me, at least not anymore. I am capable of recognising when something is "good enough", "sellable", or "usable" and I can push down my urge to keep working or to discard it start over.
@mikko.g
24 күн бұрын
I don't like praise, it feels like people are trying to manipulate me even when they are not and I know they are not
@sarahb2652
24 күн бұрын
That's wonderful, well done. All your hard work is definitely worth it. I have only recently found your channel and am a 51 year old female waiting for my autistic assessment at the end of September. I am watching and reading so much stuff to help me learn even more and so I thank you for your part in that.😊👍
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
💜🐈 Thank you!
@obnoxint
24 күн бұрын
Your work is the kind that I would show to a neurotypical person who wants to learn about the autistic experience. You're empowering me to more clearly express my own. Your efforts are invaluable. Thank you a million times!
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
💜🐈 Thank you!
@victorkulkosky1184
24 күн бұрын
I agree with @obnoxint. It's probably my journalist mindset: Enough emotion to show that it matters, along with enough 'facts' and discussion to show why it should matter to anyone else. That's what works for me, at least.
@NeurodivergentMom
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations 🎉Quinn. You deserve. You’re a THINKER. that’s so cool. I have such a hard time accepting compliments and so does my PDA Autistic son. This sheds light on it. And maybe it comes down to simply accepting the situation.
@markday3145
24 күн бұрын
Wow, this one hit especially strongly for me. It was the "why": the circumstances that make praise hard to accept, and my natural reaction being suspicion, and trying to figure out their motive. (I loved the rapid fire list of potential motivations.) I've gotten better at it over the years (I'm almost 60). It started as a conscious effort when people would get frustrated and ask, "Why can't you just take a compliment?" At first it was conscious masking: don't respond in a self-deprecating way, and simply say, "Thank you," even if I didn't believe them. Then, with people I trust, making an effort to just stop the "No, I don't deserve it" thoughts, clear my mind, and repeat what they just said (inside my own head, not out loud!). Then I could respond with a genuine, "Thank you." Then I started doing that with people that I wasn't sure I could trust. Just assume or pretend that they are being genuine. It turns out that if I do that with people I know are doing it maliciously, and add an extra helping of warm gratitude in my voice (as if I was deeply touched by their praise), those people get flustered and frustrated. I guess they were relying on my knowing the praise was sarcastic or a back-handed compliment, and then it appeared to backfire; they meant to hurt me, but my behavior tells them that it had the opposite effect. Just yesterday, I was watching your video about "exaggerated existence." In this video, as you were saying, "spiky," it occurred to me that "spiky existence" feels like a much better fit. I wonder if that would be a better starting point when trying to explain to other people. I suspect they'd be thoroughly confused at first, and not jump to any particular connotation or conclusion; that might make it easier to fill in a bit more detail.
@mrsm6727
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations Quinn! This is a huge achievement and you have helped a lot of people with your videos. We're all behind you as you head to the next million! 🥳💛
@markwalton3367
24 күн бұрын
This hits home hard. I hate receiving what I judge to be false praise. My bias towards detecting false praise by others makes me do a doubletake on any genuine praise given to me. By the time I realize the praise was genuine, the delayed response ruins the moment.
@catatheart5659
19 күн бұрын
I think that's a big part of the issue--discerning whether or not the praise was valid or just said out of politeness. And, secondarily, my brain might make a negative judgment about it, so even when the praise WAS legitimate, being so hypersensitive to false praise would make it hard to believe it was actually true. Further, even upon realizing it may be true, then comes that very awkward feeling upon receiving it. At that point, I usually find it hard to voice a response and hurry on to the next topic. Thanks for using words and media to explain this uncomfortable feeling. Your video and the comments reminded me of myself as an eight-year-old child. I wrote a little "book," which I typed out and drew pictures for. I was quite proud of it then, and (though it's hard to admit it), I'm still proud of today. My introductory words to that little book read that the pictures in the book were drawn to "accompany and elucidate" the book of drawings. Anyway, I went on to describe how some people liked my drawings, but others didn't really like my pictures; they'd just "clap and say, "beautiful!" Without insight into this, that just sounds boastful, but I was really trying to explain that I didn't feel that people were sincere in their compliments, and I didn't know how to put it into words. Thanks, Quinn, for another insightful video, and congratulations on your achievement (meant in total sincerity). 😊 P.S. I find the background very calming. Love it!
@lisastratton3869
24 күн бұрын
Quinn, I have watched you for a few years but never commented before. I love your presence. Of all the Autistic creators I follow on KZitem since my diagnosis, I most often feel like your insights resonate most closely with my own observations. I often use your videos to try to share some of my experiences with people close to me since I struggle to describe them myself. I am grateful for my presence in that million. 😊
@wendyheaton1439
24 күн бұрын
Woohoo well done... I'm glad to have done my small part to the 1 million views...🎉
@ZapatosVibes
22 күн бұрын
"This looks like a celebration, an autistic one" bro, I felt that xD
@Lutan_the_fey
24 күн бұрын
This way of celebrating I can really enjoy. With something meaningful to think about to take away. Compliments are my bane as well. I actually feel disappointed, when I receive them. Praise has rarely been any use for me and you get it for the weirdest things. Effort plays no role, neither does quality. How much you sacrificed is irrelevant. It is fleeting, unpredictable and does not make any sense in a lot of cases, but still I am required to be thankful. And in the end, it gives a very shortlived little rush of excitement and bloats the ego. People seem to get addicted to it, too, craving more likes and compliments but never get really happy from that. But things that give these kinds of brief rushes have never been for me. So I would prefer others not to waste their breath on them for me, as I have decided to achieve happyness in other ways. I did not understand this before, so thank you for making this video.
@adhdself-love
24 күн бұрын
There are more options of feelings when it comes to praise than robot or "JUMPING FORTHE MOON WITH MIRTH AND PRIDE!!!!!!"
@LoveEachDay94
24 күн бұрын
Yes and
@elvwood
17 күн бұрын
Congrats! Well worth celebrating. Praise is definitely tricky to handle - my "first line of defence" is to not actually hear it, for my brain to not even notice it's been said. My family have learned to check for that, because it happens almost all the time; once they've made me register it I can get to the squirming and deflecting. Also, I flipflop between thinking I'm not worthy (85% of the time) and true arrogance, never hitting a comfortably confident middle ground. Hey ho.
@darrenpaches3731
24 күн бұрын
Always tried to ignore insults because they don't mean anything. Same logic used for compliments.
@kikitauer
23 күн бұрын
Congrats! 🥳It is very well deserved! My idea of celebration is making some good food, have some good chocolate and quiet evening by myself. Or when celebrating with family, it is a fine meal and chatting around the table. I think a lot of us are like this. It is a feeling, not a scream or flashy lights 😉
@ArtyAntics
11 күн бұрын
My therapist assumes I can’t take compliments because of trauma but I realise now it’s autism because I relate 100% to everything you said in this video. Congratulations on the views, well deserved 😊 I can tell you work really hard on your videos.
@flyygurl18
24 күн бұрын
1 million chances for true connection, understanding, education, validation, and discovery; that amazing! Congratulations and on to a million more 🥳🖖🍀
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
💜🐈 Thank you!
@MossImp
24 күн бұрын
I am a newer viewer since my diagnosis was more recent. I have been binge watching a ton of your videos so that I have vocabulary and understanding. I really like them. This video including it's really affirming to know that my theories on that are a shared experience. Thank you. Your voice also falls in the right decimals for me so it's very relaxing. So sincerely congratulations and please keep up the good work. 😊
@augiegirl1
24 күн бұрын
I've NEVER had this issue, with one exception: if my action is just as much about myself as it is about anyone else, I will say that when I'm complimented for what others see as my unselfish actions. Two examples: 1. If an object that is broken or a space that is disorganized triggers an obsessive response in me, I feel compelled to correct the flaw, even if it isn't my job. When someone tells me how nice it was that I did that, I tell the person the truth about my motivation for the action: that it was easier for me to correct the flaw than to be distracted by the obsession. 2. I have SO MUCH empathy that if someone I care about is hurting, I physically feel their pain myself; therefore, by trying to help that person feel better, I'm also helping to relieve the pain that I personally feel due to their situation.
@rebeccabailey5988
24 күн бұрын
My mind just goes blank and I don’t know what to say. Later I ruminate about what I should have said and done.
@SemiSubconsciousSaboteur
24 күн бұрын
That's me in most social situations. I want to be around others but the anxiety/disappointment from paralysis and subsequent rumination are so exhausting that I often just avoid people.
@ryutak777
24 күн бұрын
I relate quite a lot to this. I struggle to accept compliments and if people keep pushing I'll just agree with them to keep the peace but I don't feel it. One way I disregard compliments is by seeing the logic that doesn't quite make sense. For example, someone might say "You're so talented" talent is something you're born with I worked very hard for this so this compliment doesn't count. In reality they probably just mean that my skills or abilities are impressive and exceptional.
@alexandrabarnes4511
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations, Quinn! I know you know this, but I'm saying it anyway - you truly deserve it. Your videos spread so much more understanding of the autistic experience, to us autistics and to our allistic allies. Please keep on keeping on - I have watched (I think) every one of your videos and am always so happy each and every time I see you've released a new one 😊😊😊😊
@kyleethekelt
24 күн бұрын
My own handling of praise has always been contextual. If I work hard on a project or an award and achieve it, I have no difficulty with it. (My mother taught me it was good manners to humbly accept a compliment after all). However, I will never really know how I come across to people so there is always an area of uncertainty - a constant almost-inaudible low rumble for which there is no high-pass filter which says 'not proven worthy'. Yours is a milestone worth reflection and praise from all of us who have and do benefit from your wisdom and reason. Aroha nui
@51elephantchang
24 күн бұрын
Fundamentally I feel unloveable..any praise I receive must be insincere...
@TheGoowolf
24 күн бұрын
Receiving praise does make me smile however, if somebody says "good job" I smile but my brain is All like "Be more specific!!" And sometimes I think it gives me a very awkward smile instead of a "thank you" smile.
@Fittiboy
24 күн бұрын
Super agreed on the "Be more specific!!" part! When I show someone some really cool program I wrote, and they call me "smart" for it, I almost want to say "Yeah, obviously I am, but please look at how cool this is!! You can't even see my thought process, so don't comment on that. Comment on this!! You see how fast it is?? Look at this elegant solution!!"
@LiftPizzas
24 күн бұрын
That's an NT thing, communication is not about information, it's about ego/identity. They fail to understand what you value and project their own onto you.
@saffsholistichealth
22 күн бұрын
This is defo what I feel it is too! A NT thing @@LiftPizzas
@autisticMargo
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations, Storyteller. You are doing so much good work.
@luciddaze248
24 күн бұрын
Well done! And a lot of great points! For me, recognition meant my attempts to be inconspicuous failed. Praise is so often inauthentic/manipulative. And people often praised things I didn't care about and my greatest personal achievements would go unnoticed.. reinforced feeling misunderstood.
@istarigreenman8235
22 күн бұрын
Thank you Quinn for this video. I also cringe inside when I receive "praise" of any kind and - at 63 years old - I still am learning how to deal with it. My partner has said "say 'thank you'" but even that is difficult for me. So much to learn from this.
@pearl-n-nachocat2827
24 күн бұрын
Thank you and congratulations.
@MariaJoseRozas
24 күн бұрын
Congrats on this milestone! You've worked hard on these videos and helped change many lives for the better. It's absolutely worth celebrating! I love that you brought the point of concrete accomplishments as true compliments, because that is something that we can agree to celebrate. Something that depends on the perception of another person requires a leap of faith that we can't always afford (I immediately feel suspicious when someone praises me, it's like "great, I drew attention for existing again"). Even with the latter point, I appreciate when someone goes out of their way to tell me in what ways my presence has made them happy in some way. I suppose it's the recognition of one's impact in others what counts at the end of the day, as the sum of all things that brought this milestone is signifying. Thank you so much for your clarity of thought and labor of love! ♥️
@Bloodsong13T
12 күн бұрын
congratulations, quinn :) fantastic job! some folks were talking about imposter syndrome, but what it reminds me of (in me) is 'emotional backdraft,' where feeling an emotion triggers its opposite. this is something i've been struggling with. i think i enjoy praise all right, but i absolutely HATE It when people are nice to me. it makes me feel awful.
@johndayan7126
24 күн бұрын
Mazel tov! A million views is an amazing achievement by any measure. Morever, I can definitively tell you that you have been very helpful to me and my family. You have made a real difference in our lives. I have been very "successful" but praise means little to me, mostly because I know that most of the people who praise me have no idea what real challenges I face. I know that you know, however, and that you face many of the same challenges. I hope this means something to you: You are making a real difference in our lives. Helping me to help myself and my children. You are genuinely helping other autistic persons in a world in which our challenges can be overwhelming. Thank you Quinn. Peace be with you friend.
@curtismartin5348
24 күн бұрын
Thank you Quinn. Your videos have been both informative and soothing for me over the past month.
@GygyMy
23 күн бұрын
Congratulations for your undeniable accomplishment ! I watch 'in silence' your videos because I like what you do and how you do deliver your messages very much. Thank you Sir for your kindness, energy, your patience and care of you and 'us'.
@freerideziege6047
22 күн бұрын
Thanks for ALL (Yes, I watched them ALL by now) the videos you made and helped me to understand what, 4 Years ago (at age 38) turned out to be autism (and possible ADHD), made me struggle so hard my whole life.
@bruce5
24 күн бұрын
Congrats on 1M views Quinn, and congrats in advance on 25K subscribers (which you'll no doubt get to)! As for compliments, I find it hard to take them myself. I know some of them are heartfelt, but I believe many of them are rather backhanded because many people appear to be surprised that I'm able to accomplish so much in spite of my autism. In other words, the focus is on the autism, not the accomplishment. I just want to be left alone to do my thing and let the accomplishment speak for itself.
@REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations!! 🎉 That’s huge! It really helps to know a late diagnosed adult and learn from you’
@MrAtheistQueen
24 күн бұрын
Well done and well deserved! Thank you for increasing awareness and understanding of our experiences! Looking forward to watching more!
@PeppermintPatties
19 күн бұрын
Thank you so much, Quinn, and congratulations on your 1 million views! Thank you for helping me understand myself better. 🤩❤️
@willamthewisp
24 күн бұрын
Always appreciate your work.
@theJellyjoker
24 күн бұрын
I could hear the excitement in you voice. It was there, but very subtle. Congrats on the achievement my dude.👍
@condor727me
24 күн бұрын
congrats on the million views!! it's been fun to watch these videos!
@saffsholistichealth
22 күн бұрын
I've trained myself to accept praise when it is deserved cause I spent and had many many people not do that and say horrible things to me and training my brain and my heart to accept praise when it's genuine has helped a lot ❤ it's a process
@ninabrownsilberman7919
22 күн бұрын
My yardstick for "good job" versus "not good" is pretty internal. This helps when others' validation is either not sincere or not there. It doesn't help if I am struggling to figure out "how good is good enough?" Because I don't use what others are doing to figure that out, I sometimes continue to work on things longer than is really needed or warranted.
@wendychan6679
24 күн бұрын
You are so spot on with your description of how you feel when someone praises you. I cringe or freeze too. There are a lot of cases where people who give this 'praise' don't mean a word of it but are looking to get an advantage or to dump something onto you. It happens a lot in the workplace. It leads me to have a general doubt of this 'praise' Even when it is genuine I don't feel comfortable. Great learning video.
@vk3bvp
24 күн бұрын
I've had people compliment me on my playing and I think they are just normal people doing what they do, because I'm not that good.
@ruru_McCakey
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations. To me, the celebrating in this video is very obvious. But that might have something to do with that I'm autistic and someone doesn't have to jump in the air jubilating for me to notice.😂 Thank you for the content you create. I'm happy to be part of the million views.
@matthewbucktrout3291
24 күн бұрын
Thank you for your great work Quinn, well done. 🙂
@kittyk3603
22 күн бұрын
Congratulations, and thank you for sharing
@donovangray4246
24 күн бұрын
I truly believe you deserve all the recognition you get, because I know how much you put into these videos and how much they mean to you. Through you I have learned so much. Thank you for being here and I wish that you are here for many years to come.
@streamofawareness
23 күн бұрын
Hey, congrats, you earned this and I’m proud of what you’ve achieved! Btw I’m autistic too and compliments usually help me feel seen, because most of the time I don’t seem to be noticed.
@niklaslang5224
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations Quinn! Well deserved. I think I’ve seen all your videos and I am looking forward to your future ones. 👍😊 Best wishes! 🙏
@cats.are.my.people
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations on that accomplishment Quinn! I do really enjoy your channel. You are one of my favorite autistic KZitem creators. As an autistic it’s nice to see content that I can relate to. (Although of course I don’t relate to everything because we are all unique individuals.) Thank you for the work you do on your channel. Here’s hoping it has helped some neurotypicals understand us better. 😉
@ThomiBMcIntyre
23 күн бұрын
Congrats Quinn! You definitely deserve to feel proud. This channel has helped me since I found you a few months ago, so thank you!
@Green_Roc
14 күн бұрын
When I got praise in my youth, my parents would yell at me "Say THANK YOU!" before I finished processing the praise. I dont feel comfortable with praise. From a young age, I was taught pride was wrong (a sin they said). So, I dare not feel pride of anything, I'd just be bragging, which is also bad. I got so confused by all these rules everywhere.
@markb2084
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations on reaching the milestone. Praise, no thank you. I've never felt comfortable receiving it probably because I feel I was doing nothing special or out of the ordinary to command it.
@ZSchrink
17 сағат бұрын
Congratulations!
@Electrowave
12 күн бұрын
Congratulations on a million views! 🙂
@kathyrichmond5835
24 күн бұрын
Congrats Quinn. Recently coming to this diagnosis, your vids are probably some of the best. Don't like listening to neurotypicals explaining whats 'wrong' with me. Don,t particularly like vids by some autistic contributors who just speak about their experiences. I like your intelligent analytical thoughtful approach. All of your hardwork is now paying off. Well done. Now.....crack on
@anthoantho1989
15 күн бұрын
Great video Quinn. I gave up drumming as a kid because I found it too overwhelming to accept praise from family members, so I'm glad to see it's not just me.
@Autistamatic
15 күн бұрын
Thanks for commenting and for being my first ever "thanks" contribution on KZitem, If you've read through the rest of the comments on this video - it's definitely NOT just you😉
@Optionsaregood
24 күн бұрын
Well done Quinn 👍👍
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
💜🐈 Thank you!
@VivekaAlaya
24 күн бұрын
Great video
@davidbonar5190
24 күн бұрын
i can only really take praise when - the praising person actually knows what they are talking about, a "peer review" so to speak and not a superficial or condescending thumbs up or smiley face - the praise isn't phony or forced or performative or transactional, like unctuous love bombing flattery to inflate my ego or get away with something or as a distraction - the praise aligns with my perception, if i get praised for doing something i do not like doing or for results i'm not satisfied with, or even something i didn't even achieve or some weird fluke... i am very ungracious with praise :) but sometimes it hits home
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
Thanks for that👍Whilst I never WANT to come over as ungracious, I know I don't always succeed. Very relatable comment.
@marisa5359
6 күн бұрын
Thanks for this. It is a thing I have always struggled with. I feel so awkward when I receive praise. I thought it was largely due to my abusive childhood. Hearing something good about me has always felt so foreign. However, this gives me further food for thought.
@deniset1714
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations Quinn!
@RachelNitsche
24 күн бұрын
Thanks for the video. I thought its just me haveing problems with prais. Turns out nope I am not. When being praised at work I get scared and start looking for a new job as it happened to often that I was told to come to a meeting with my manager .. started getting praises for my work and than being told .. but ... followed by description of autistiv behaviour ..followed by my employment being terminated. Prais in my private live was often given for things which I thought are too easy and shoud not be praised, e.g. being able to follow the instructions of the simple knitting pattern and producing a scarf or jumper or preparing a simple meal following a recipe.
@davestambaugh7282
24 күн бұрын
Before I discovered that I was autistic I thought that I was a dis agreeable giver. For example if someone was to say " I really like that shirt" I would say something like " You should see it when it is ironed". Lately I force myself to say "Thank you".
@BlueRoseHelen252
22 күн бұрын
I suffer from this too, I never celebrate praise. It's nice to get the recognition sometimes but I don't like lots of fuss. Congratulations, I enjoy your channel. Keep up the great work. 😊
@theanigman
23 күн бұрын
its took until very recently for me to accept a compliment as should be accepted, always confused at how to respond, and didnt ever feel i deserved it, like a few already said, when you expect everyone to be lying or disingenuous, manipulative for so long you end up dont believe any compliment at all is genuine, and also yes i feel never really got them much either, teachers calling me names or disappintment from parents continual put downs/critisisms of everything, my chronic stammer , struggles to read and write, even just looks, thoughts all generally received as i was weird, wrong-thought or stupidity, dismissed as idiot. i had really bad stammer for years, returns sometimes if im tiring from effort to speak, eventually gave up trying to talk at all because of being ridiculed as sub standard failure from the off not many ever had patience to listen past tge stutter and they made up mind already i was just a dickhead (autism didnt really get recognised at all then i was just ridiculed by the system supposed to teach my teachers were worse bullies than the other kids
@DWSP101
3 күн бұрын
Why don’t you have more subscribers your channel? It’s literally clear to the point and understandable even for typical.
@krugerfuchs
24 күн бұрын
Well done Quinn you totally deserve it
@riv3rw4ter
22 күн бұрын
I struggle accepting compliments that I perceive as incorrect, but between my friend group we often try to remind each other of our achievements, and worth to each other, because almost all of us struggle to believe it. So, a source of constant reassurance can help when anxiety says aha what if that's not true and you're actually useless and mean nothing to people you care about :)
@NitFlickwick
24 күн бұрын
I, too, find it difficult to accept praise, for a lot of reasons. First, and foremost, I hate being the center of attention, but there’s a more subtle reason, too. My experience is that most things people want to celebrate don’t seem worthy of celebrating. If I just did the expectation, and something good happened, that’s not really worth celebrating. The times I am more likely to accept congratulations are when I did something objectively difficult. I work in software, so fixing a problem for a customer that nobody else was able to figure out. One special interest is woodworking, and, one in a very great while, I will make something that, realistically, exceeds my technical and design skills. Even with those, I am uncomfortable with much more than 👍 due to the attention thing. So, Quinn, 👍!
@stephaniealexandra5142
24 күн бұрын
I feel incredibly uncomfortable when I am praised. Just as you mentioned, I get the feeling that people don't really mean it or that they say that sort of thing to anyone. Having said that, I have no problem in praising other people when it is deserved, so CONGRATULATIONS Quinn, all the work you put into these videos is greatly appreciated 🤗
@SatyaRhythm
24 күн бұрын
Fantastic news on a millions views, brilliant ;)
@RoundSparrow
24 күн бұрын
I encourage you to read / watch interviews with Richard Feynman about "honors" and how he feels about winning the Nobel prize and awards... how he is more happy people use his work than getting the prizes and honors. His father was in the uniform business and he does not view it in the conventional way.
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
One of my favourite TV shows of all time is the "Horizon" documentary Feynman made about the joy of learning. If you're in the UK it's available as a "classic documentary" on the BBC iPlayer.
@maikvanlommel7573
23 күн бұрын
A job well done🎉
@jamesrempel8522
24 күн бұрын
When people praise me or say nice things, even "I love you" from my sister, I feel like something is demanded of me. Now I *have* to reply in a certain way, show a certain expression on my face, or reciprocate. And it's too much; I end up freezing.
@computerlove87
24 күн бұрын
I wont bother paying you a compliment, rather a specific share that you can actually sink your teeth into: Of the many gifts your videos have given me, one specifically that comes to mind was your video on alexythimia. It absolutely saved my butt and gave me the courage to fire my therapist and find a better one (something that usually takes me wayyyyyy too long to do) I was fully on the path to just doing what i usually do and keep going with then and giving them the benefit of the doubt for far too long. She wasn't willing to see the amount of distress i was telling her i was in (cause im basically always smiling and fawning), and the final nail was when i had just watched your video and tried to talk to her about my experience of alexythimia and she basically just kept trying to gaslight me into thinking alexythimia isnt real or "no one can put words to their feelings all the time". My current therapist for the last 6 months absolutely helped me climb out of burnout, and I likely wouldn't have found her if I hadn't fired the old, gaslight-y one!
@Autistamatic
24 күн бұрын
Thanks for commenting & so glad you're moving forward👍
@saffsholistichealth
22 күн бұрын
Cobgrats in hitting those views tho Quinn🎉
@kevinpeterson7797
22 күн бұрын
What cannot be taken away....seems a simple concept until you feel empty because it's all been taken.
@Noone-of-your-Business
24 күн бұрын
As far as I can say so far, difficulty accepting praise - at least for me - is a typical ADHD problem. Since I have been on Ritalin, I can accept praise and *much* better than before because it truly _reaches_ me and I can _experience_ it emotionally. It seems to me to be the dopamine deficiency of ADHD that prevents positive experiences of _any_ kind to transition from purely rational *knowledge* to _feeling_ gratitude or contentment.
@glennchamberlain5056
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations on 1 Million Views
@Alan_Duval
24 күн бұрын
Yeah, I have trouble receiving compliments, but also hate it when something that I've done that I think is good gets ignored. I have a strong suspicion that those two circles overlap, Venn diagram-style, which makes things difficult. Similarly, I think I want to be looked at adoringly, the way I've seen some women look at their boyfriends, but then realise I find extended eye-contact super weird. All that said, so far as I know, I'm not autistic, but i do have ADHD.
@TheeOldest
24 күн бұрын
Congratulations 🎉
@lifetotheminimal1211
23 күн бұрын
Congrats!
@LiftPizzas
24 күн бұрын
I don't think it is acquired, but inherent. I remember rejecting praise from a parent at 5 years old (for a crayon drawing) and I don't think there would have been enough time/interactions to become so jaded/cynical by then. I also feel just as awkward/wrong praising/complimenting someone else. My own theory is that 1- it's because it's a hierarchy thing. Praising someone is an act of dominance, accepting it certainly feels like submission. I don't like or participate in that hierarchy garbage. (We are all people, and the idea that some are above others is patently offensive.) And 2- accepting it allows someone else to define you from the outside. This has always been a no-go for me. I decide my abilities, my talents, my worth. Who are you to think you know me better than I do? (You can't even figure out your own worth and need compliments and praise to prop up your own sense of self!) I suppose I might have acquired additional resistance to it because people are often insincere about it, but I don't think that is the root of it.
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