Please give the video a thumbs up if you enjoyed it. It helps me out a lot. Thank you!
@najmamadan3820
3 жыл бұрын
Dear i want to talk to you ...plz which knd of social media are you using apart frm instagram..i will wait yr response
@sayyid5869
3 жыл бұрын
He really wants your 👻 🤦♂️😂
@najmamadan3820
3 жыл бұрын
@@sayyid5869 Am agirl bro..stp negativity plz😂😂😂
@Pkvlog-tm7bm
3 жыл бұрын
You live quality life and living with nature amazing life dear❤️🌿
@zwwx2142
3 жыл бұрын
You are so beautiful 👋
@ICEcoldJT
3 жыл бұрын
“Relationships tend to work when two people have the same intention to grow together.”
@berkayb3296
3 жыл бұрын
so true!!
@RandomFactsPress
3 жыл бұрын
Hey Ice cold JT!
@Coharpe
3 жыл бұрын
Everywhere bro
@IshaSharma11
3 жыл бұрын
Well said
@stefanyregis3869
3 жыл бұрын
You are everywhere, man! 😂😂
@memento_mari
3 жыл бұрын
As somebody who needs to feel emotionally close to a person before becoming physically intimate with them, I find it really difficult to date in today's hookup culture. People seem too scared of making themselves vulnerable by opening up emotionally, so they turn to instant physical gratification instead.
@nla5307
3 жыл бұрын
Same, I consider myself demisexual. I need to know your heart before I let you enter the sacred gates of my queendom.
@GoldenKay19
3 жыл бұрын
So nice to see I am not alone 😻
@gabrielanava9996
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah, me too
@ashm676
2 жыл бұрын
I recently learned I am demisexual. Good to know that the emotions I had and have are valid.
@QuakoVide0
2 жыл бұрын
i feel you
@raceindna
3 жыл бұрын
Most relationships don't end well, because it started with a facade, both sides pretending to be someone else, and eventually they show their true colors. Relationships work if both sides are honest from the start, and are willing to accept each other's decisions.
@IDCThrowAway
3 жыл бұрын
I’d say it could be 50/50 50% of what you said & 50% of a woman trying to change a man, changing him then eventually dumping him cause “he’s changed” lmao
@addeade231
3 жыл бұрын
In practice it is very difficult and there I believe that the online space can serve us well. In real life many of us are so afraid to be judged by other people for who we are, so "naturally" we put up a facade not to break taboos within our culture and social class. Online we can avoid that for better or worse, and we have the ability to be honest from the start. There is one question though, is the other part honest? I do think it is more difficult than that, but the honestly aspect makes it easier in the long-term perspective.
@TheWindingRoad1991
3 жыл бұрын
Well said!
@tautvydasmisauskas3602
3 жыл бұрын
Yes. Exactly this is so true. This world is so fucked up that you can't really get anything in your life without predending to be someone. No one wants to wait 15 years to find that person so you have to build the facade to be the best out of others. It's like a market everyone wants the best product.
@elektrotehnik94
3 жыл бұрын
@Seven R. it's about acceptance, but also about honesty.... If you're not reasonably quick in revealing to the other person what your flaws are, how you are trying your best to struggle with them & improve yourself, you'll just be living in a nervous (but happy) lie, for a while... until the lie is revealed & things go wrong. To build a lasting love, you need to risk it all. Be brave, learn to be vulnerable. Admit your flaws to yourself, admit them to your partner. If he/she still loves your, then you're on a good path & good luck to you
@HeyImAedRianne
3 жыл бұрын
Oh goodness I will not get tired reading Lana Blakely's comment section. I feel like learning from different professors because of these different perspectives and opinions. it's amazing.
@tresorkl
3 жыл бұрын
Same here
@nerelynregudon3567
3 жыл бұрын
Same I enjoy the comment section. Different perspective and experiences uwu
@sickosage9736
3 жыл бұрын
Same Same
@aidanhunter6195
3 жыл бұрын
You must be an ENFP lol
@Vladyyy
2 жыл бұрын
And that’s a great way to approach it rather than judging or criticizing as many do.
@cass465
3 жыл бұрын
I’m super lonely but I’m tired of having to sell myself and trying so hard to find someone that passes the bare minimum. I don’t want to settle for what is easy and convenient. I’ve kind of accepted that I’m not going to have the kind of love I dreamed about.
@nla5307
3 жыл бұрын
You will. Just don’t look for it, let it find you. Continue living your life and making yourself happy and when it’s meant to happen it will. You’ll attract it without even realizing it.
@vklnew9824
3 жыл бұрын
kzitem.info/news/bejne/woxq2oGsq2mpjY4
@ceooflonelinessinc.267
3 жыл бұрын
You are just superficial and think you are something better than others.
@cass465
3 жыл бұрын
@@ceooflonelinessinc.267 whoa, harsh words. I just said I didn’t want to settle out of convenience. That’s not thinking I’m better than anyone, it’s just knowing the worth of my time and love.
@ceooflonelinessinc.267
3 жыл бұрын
@@cass465 I meant it seriously. You are probably one of those womem who think she deserves something "special". There are thousands of men who would be ready to commit themselves to a serious realationship. They are nice, trustworthy and committed. But they still get rejected by women probably like you. If you are saying, there are no men, who are worthy your love and time, you are for sure delusional and entitled. A woman who thinks of themselves like that, is just arrogant.
@JB-gv3lo
3 жыл бұрын
Maybe this shows you variety isn't always the spice of life. Maybe sometimes too many choices can water down your tastebuds, making you forget you had more than enough flavor at home already.
@LanaBlakely
3 жыл бұрын
Amen!
@TheArtofMar
3 жыл бұрын
Totally. Always seeking variety or thrill will just leave one unsatisfied, because we will never be able to experience everything.
@erossutra4064
3 жыл бұрын
@@rachildalal perception is what makes you not need variety. I recommend you read Viktor Frankl’s book.
@erossutra4064
3 жыл бұрын
@@rachildalal just increasing your scope of awareness, being more mindful instead of running on autopilot. Mindful of your day to day routine, of your small decisions. I have been able to achieve contentment without the company of others, without coffee, coke, sex...by just simply being more appreciative of what really matters in life. When depressed for example, it becomes an emotional need and that need can be filled temporarily by buying stuff, with food or sex, or it can be filled by changing your definition of life, by having a change of values.
@pawneraser9022
3 жыл бұрын
The fact that people are just realizing this is astonishing to me.
@Star-tf3xi
3 жыл бұрын
I‘ve only dated a little but never had a relationship. Sometimes I crave the feeling of being wanted. That one person sees me as “the one”. As someone special, beautiful, smart, cute, sexy. But in the end all that should come from within, no need for external validation. Self-love is a journey.
@Laura-gd4ku
3 жыл бұрын
Its true that it self love is important, but wanting to be wanted is human its craving for connection! Its totally fine to want to feel wanted and to go out and trying to find someone who can give it to you. The only thing you should not do is base your entire selfworth on this feeling and the other person.
@Star-tf3xi
3 жыл бұрын
@@Laura-gd4ku so true. But sometimes during this pandemic I feel so lonely and almost desperate for that external attention. And I don‘t think that creates a healthy mindset of craving love due to desperation.
@Laura-gd4ku
3 жыл бұрын
@@Star-tf3xi Yes I understand, I feel the same sometimes! I think want I wanted to say was: don't beat yourself up for these feelings, because its normal, its part of life and its part of your journey to actual self love. So self love also means to accept these feelings and give them space, so you can grow from them :)
@Polinaparvanova
3 жыл бұрын
For me it’s difficult when that someone sees all that within you but when you can’t see it yourself
@capassoluigi7387
3 жыл бұрын
Take a dog! Never disappointed!
@teddytjhie2457
3 жыл бұрын
"We seemed to overlook the fact that there is no quick way to meaningful human connection no matter how technologically advanced the society becomes." - Lana Blakely, 2021
@monascrafts7404
3 жыл бұрын
"technologically advanced" is the root of the problem.
@ykanama
3 жыл бұрын
Truly
@Pyonghwaa
3 жыл бұрын
“There’s no quick way to meaningful human connection, no matter how technologically advanced society becomes” Very true
@darkndark9521
3 жыл бұрын
kzitem.info/news/bejne/q52j14R_rHWjp2U
@harshalsakure2690
3 жыл бұрын
Let's try for 5 minutes. Just believe in me for 5 minutes. Either we win or nothing will happen.
@DZ-cl1iu
3 жыл бұрын
Only Fanz
@Pyonghwaa
3 жыл бұрын
@@DZ-cl1iu looking at a stranger naked and wishing:pretending you’re having sex with them is almost the furthest from meaningful human connection that you can get.
@DZ-cl1iu
3 жыл бұрын
@@Pyonghwaa Yeah, I was just trolling. But with that being said, my big question, what is "meaningful connection" to each person. The answers will vary dramatically from person to person. Also, what does that connection mean at the end of the day? Like the youtuber mentioned, is it more of a selfish thing where the person WANTS a meaningful connection with someone? What if one doesn't achieve that and never gets it? So many questions.....
@Hugex97
3 жыл бұрын
The longest relationship you are going to have is the one with yourself. Make sure you treat yourself kindly and in a sweet manner. Once you become comfortable with loneliness, your relationships become healthy, productive and funnier. I would recommend Aristotle, Eudemian Ethics. I thinks it is book 5 in which Aristotle taught about virtue in friendships and relationships. 2500 yesrs ago and it still is relevant, at least to me it was :))
@qazedc3
3 жыл бұрын
I been lonely my whole life 🙃
@svenjaroeske3027
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the reading recommendation, I was meaning to read some Aristotle for a while and forgot :)
@luv4songsonly
3 жыл бұрын
Hey do is the eudemian ethics a 5 part book?
@Hugex97
3 жыл бұрын
@@luv4songsonly it's a group of notes for classes that Aristotle wrote to teach. It's not even a book, since his writings were rescued by "Eudemo from Rodas" (spanish translation) and passed from generation to generation until it became a book.
@luv4songsonly
3 жыл бұрын
@@Hugex97 oh thank you! I wanna get into reading it!
@nickold4499
3 жыл бұрын
Maybe the people in this comment section should date each other. Seems like everyone here's on the same page on dating haha
@limbz8981
3 жыл бұрын
😆😆😆yea they all seem to be understandable....
@chriszin94
3 жыл бұрын
what up nick young, how's iggy doin?
@HeyImAedRianne
3 жыл бұрын
LOL
@jasminecardona7401
3 жыл бұрын
Hahahahha
@Proposal12
3 жыл бұрын
Not really...
@medoma1000
3 жыл бұрын
From my perspective those points are big issues: 1. People don't know what they want / need 2. Because People don't take time to reflect and find love in themselves 3. So they seek (impatient) in the endless ocean of possible partners (Disposability) for a person who brings love and happiness to their lives instead of themselves (selfishness)
@travis6694
3 жыл бұрын
Yes indeed, when your focus on how does a partner make me feel, then you are in trouble. Because you are focused only on taking and not giving.
@vklnew9824
3 жыл бұрын
kzitem.info/news/bejne/woxq2oGsq2mpjY4
@aBBy-pq4tx
3 жыл бұрын
Those are the kind of people you want to avoid dating.
@StrangeDisposition
3 жыл бұрын
It really resonated with me when she said some people don’t want to overcome obstacles because they think there are so many options out there that they want to find the obstacle free option. Good things don’t come free.
@user-ub8uc8gq7r
3 жыл бұрын
Everyone is too busy trying to find “love” or “the one” when in actuality they should be finding themselves first!
@wakingupfromthewakingdream3607
3 жыл бұрын
I'm 65. You are correct that people didn't stay together because of unconditional love. Legal constraints on divorce was one reason. Financial reasons was another. What most people don't realize though is that up until relatively recently, marriage was a survival mechanism. At the very least, a person knew that if they had an accident of some sort out on the farm, there was someone to go to town and get the doctor. The traditional masculine and feminine roles were also about survival. Men gathered today while women prepared what was gathered yesterday. Life could be very much hand to mouth. You are also correct that traditional masculine and feminine roles today are no longer as necessary in western civilization. As such, they will gradually wither away and life will go on. As for relationships that work more often than not, the cosmos will provide it when you are ready, and for as long as it is necessary.
@sonderexpeditions
3 жыл бұрын
I agree. That's why the 80s had the massive divorce boom. Now it's leveled out.
@aloowalia2849
2 жыл бұрын
@@sonderexpeditions 😁
@kaiserpuppydog7174
2 жыл бұрын
I can't help but think as I read this in agreement, that essentially human beings are no longer fit for purpose, and how nature sorts something like this out...Birth rates are collapsing,
@spaceskipster4412
3 жыл бұрын
Once the "honeymoon" period is over it's the mutual respect, and shared goals in life that endure. 💁🏼♂️ 🙆🏼♀️ 😊
@adenise__122
2 жыл бұрын
no it isn't. it is about selflessness, sacrifice. you must die to self to have true love, there is no way around this. pride, self love and madness of the world has destroyed anything beautiful
@kiaadams104
2 жыл бұрын
@@adenise__122 geez... alot of heartbroken nerds on here. Stop reading twilight and go live. Go on some adventures. Fail. Find some wisdom. Learn about yourself and then all that dating shit will be easy
@blinkeuisaswiftie8397
Жыл бұрын
That "honeymoon period is over" kinda sounds weird to me lol
@yuyasfilm1199
3 жыл бұрын
I'm happy enough being alone, but sometimes I feel pressured about it because others ask me why I'm alone. Being in a relationship is wonderful thing if you can find a good person. it's disaster otherwise.
@kath7126
Жыл бұрын
Right !!! It's really wonderful to be the right person and exactly it's a disaster if u get in a wrong place with that certain person or by whatever reasons
@chinomelliza6436
3 жыл бұрын
In a world where pretty faces are in demand, I'm still in search of a pretty Soul.
@FerventlyUnderstanding
3 жыл бұрын
Ditto
@Protoject
3 жыл бұрын
Well said man, same here
@Laura-gd4ku
3 жыл бұрын
Maybe not imply that everyone with a pretty face has an ugly soul?
@transitionsnc
3 жыл бұрын
Beautiful! Thank you.
@cass465
3 жыл бұрын
But I’m willing to bet that most people would not care to even talk to a pretty soul if they did not have a pretty face.
@Protoject
3 жыл бұрын
This is comforting to watch when it's 100% relatable.. I find it funny how I was craving to have a girlfriend, it was on my mind all the time.. now I'm almost 26, still single, and the way I look at it changed so much. These days it's really hard to have any hopes of finding someone who hasn't been poisoned by the modern times and that is sad because I don't wanna give up but I feel like I am.
@millieee2932
3 жыл бұрын
please don't give up on hope of finding someone who hasn't been corrupted by the modern times of dating. as cliche as it is, there are 7 billion people on this planet. i can confirm, you are not the only one. i think the majority of the people in the comments feel the same!!
@sofiael7350
3 жыл бұрын
Me too .
@douloureux.
3 жыл бұрын
@@darthvader1793 yeah, this attitude is a problem. It’s not ‘most of the girls’ it’s the girls YOU follow and interact with. They can live the way they want to, you don’t HAVE to date them. It’s fine to be single and dissappointed sometimes in who crosses your path but reflecting this issue is a problem. Since you’re blaming it on other people
@Protoject
3 жыл бұрын
@@douloureux. That's right, every individual chooses the way they wanna live, no one should be blamed for this. Something regarding what the other person said in the comments before you - many guys who struggle to find someone of value think that they have to get down to the 'modern dating' level otherwise they'll remain single forever therefore they do that and that is another thing that's sad, the world is losing guys of real value, kinda like if you're not "modern" you don't belong. Personally, I had my share of "modern dating", 2 months into it I got cheated on and I never saw it coming, everything seemed really fine, that's how scary "modern dating" can be. Having said that, i'm still more or less at peace because if someone of value comes into my life - great! If not - that is okay too, like you said, it's fine to be single, way better than becoming "modern" imo.
@Laura-gd4ku
3 жыл бұрын
@@Protoject I understand what you mean but I really dont like the way you talk about "value". Just because women are sleeping around and liking to post their bodies on social media does not mean they have no value.
@crystal14w
3 жыл бұрын
I always find myself falling for a guy that doesn't want kids in the future nor marriage. I should take notes that it's a red flag but I just continue to give them a chance. Then I end up getting heart broken because no matter if you both like the same things or are sweet to each other. Even if he changes his mind about having a family, it doesn't feel like it's their real feelings. It is best to find someone pointing the same direction as you in the future, which is hard to find.
@mahijb4055
3 жыл бұрын
No kids? Men want legacy. Why are you ruining another man's legacy? You can go back to the street and ride the CC.
@pt6731
2 жыл бұрын
marriage is a construct tho by greedy people to take more wealth by making these companies to spend on weddings
@potatoman8763
2 жыл бұрын
@@pt6731 Haha what???
@josephzsoka874
2 жыл бұрын
you're going after the wrong guys... how can you know ? look at what is common btwn the guys you tend to prefer.... watch Kevin Samuels channel, he clarifies it better.
@ImranKhan-tj3dr
2 жыл бұрын
I m S eriousely love u I like u I want toeet u I m really make u do do happy always 👧👧❤❤😍😍🌷🌷🌷
@kez6375
3 жыл бұрын
I find dating so hard. Online dating is so frustrating as sometimes you don't know what they actually want. Some people just want one thing:(
@IshaSharma11
3 жыл бұрын
So true
@sonderexpeditions
3 жыл бұрын
I despise online dating. Once the summer hits I'm just gonna talk to people I'm attracted to in person. My thumbs hurt from swiping lol. Can't stand it. Feel like I'm objectifying people.
@vklnew9824
3 жыл бұрын
kzitem.info/news/bejne/woxq2oGsq2mpjY4
@pt6731
2 жыл бұрын
that is why people need to do a mass exodus to dating sites or mass exodus vote 3rd parties or like now mass exodus in shitty jobs
@Enchanteralle
3 жыл бұрын
I dislike modern dating. It's already hard to meet people and then to meet someone who I want to get to know only to be disappointed that there's a dozen other women he's talking to is draining. Online dating feels so toxic. I feel like more people are wanting hookups than commitment. How do you really know someone just by looking at profiles and then meeting up a few times? Or most of the people I've met on apps just throw out a few sentences and then disappear. It's a waste of time. In the past, it was a no no that the guy you're interested in or dating is also dating or talking to other girls. Now days, people say: well it's not like you guys are exclusive. Well how many hoops is there to jump through till the other person wants to settle? Yes, meeting strangers on apps makes you feel like there are plenty of fish in the sea, but in reality, it takes time to get to know someone and make a relationship grow. No one is slowing down to do that anymore. I feel less stressed being by myself.
@Vladyyy
2 жыл бұрын
If you’re worried about a guy talking to multiple girls then consider how a girl has exponentially more guys she could be talking to without even having to lift a finger. Literally. Knowing what you want, stating what you want and actually taking an initiative is a good start. The apps definitely won’t help if you aren’t at least doing that.
@Enchanteralle
2 жыл бұрын
@@Vladyyy people can be straightforward about what they want, but some ppl don’t know what they want and goes in with Fomo. Or ppl can straight up lie or string others along. A mix of everything. Either way, there are challenges for both men and women.
@Vladyyy
2 жыл бұрын
@@Enchanteralle more like a lot of people don’t know what they want. Surely, but it definitely cuts down on that and the majority of girls don’t have more than a irrelevant sentence in their bios so it’s far from common practice. Of course but to complain about that when you have the better end of the stick. I just found it interesting. A fair complaint nonetheless.
@HARLEM-NEWYORK
2 жыл бұрын
80% of men aren't dating multiple women. So there's plenty of men that fit what you want but you're just not interested in them. Also every single women i know is talking to multiple guys.
@lbks16
2 жыл бұрын
Dating apps are for teenagers. Don't need to generalize, there are plenty of people who slow down to get to know someone.
@hardip5523
3 жыл бұрын
"I thought it was quite funny. Not like funny funny. But you know, funny." - Lana Blakely
@fallenfreak828
3 жыл бұрын
The problem is no one is willing to actually work on a relationship when you have too many options. There's always gonna be someone hotter and cooler.
@AriadnaHMC
3 жыл бұрын
The saddest thing now is that there are very few people who truly seek love or a true and meaningful relationship. Not just pleasure but a true connection.
@Laura-gd4ku
3 жыл бұрын
How do you know that? Are you not also assuming things about people just by their looks? Do you belive that people who are the typical instagram girls dont have feelings or want human connections?
@hektor6766
3 жыл бұрын
Love entails devotion, and current society only sees that as a fool's bargain, not as a fulfilling investment.
@pt6731
2 жыл бұрын
@@Laura-gd4ku yes gotta get them true stats and not experiences
@Vladyyy
2 жыл бұрын
That’s not true at all. It’s just a matter of where you’re looking. The difference is now we are seeing so many more people through social media. And as with anything the good ones dwarf in comparison to the rest.
@Iksvomid
2 жыл бұрын
It always has been like that, always will be. I used to search for a true and meaningful relationship, after some people I just gave up. Now I get what I can, don't care much about connections anymore and don't care if I end up alone. It is better than hoping and seeing how vile people can be.
@ReedProCreed
3 жыл бұрын
interesting... made me wonder if marriage works best for those who know they dont need it to be happy.
@ThatGuyNimit
3 жыл бұрын
Thats a beautiful thought.
@arukhan4446
3 жыл бұрын
I think so yes, because if you need marriage to be happy, this is happiness that is not coming from within, and I personally believe real happiness is the one that comes from within. It also means that you need marriage rather than wanting it and needing snth is a dangerous territory
@ReedProCreed
3 жыл бұрын
@@arukhan4446 its a good point with need vs want. i experienced my own mind becoming toxic when i was pursuing things with a feeling of need. its like, when need is the driving force, you tap into the destructive motivation system of the mind(anger, hate, etc). i havent tried pursuing things often with want, but my guess is if you want something without feeling need for it, it might create space for compassion, understanding and even true love. right now its just a speculation of mine though.. I wish you a good day, thank you for sharing your perspective :)
@viceanterra3
3 жыл бұрын
It is pretty paradoxical in that way yes. You should be with some you want who wants you. Not someone you need who needs you.
@arukhan4446
3 жыл бұрын
@@ReedProCreed I think it's important yes. But also, pursuing something you want when it doesn't align with ur needs is also not very fulfilling. It's hard to get this all “right” now that I think about it😔 aww, ur so sweet have a good day too🤍🤍
@msmoorea1270
2 жыл бұрын
6:53 "If the results that we are seeking, are matching the effort that we are putting in..." absolutely remarkable quote omg
@cass465
3 жыл бұрын
Also, it’s easy to romanticise the past when women were basically bound to their partner forever because freedoms like birth control, divorce and domestic abuse laws did not exist or were not easily obtained.
@pearlcnrd
3 жыл бұрын
this is so true, everything these days is a bit more transparent and people do not put up with nonsense that is negatively affecting them physically or mentally, or even both.
@hektor6766
3 жыл бұрын
@@pearlcnrd Whenever I see internet comments blaming "feminism" for the situation, I recognize nostalgia for the deprecation, manipulation and abuse of the past, and rejection of self-examination and improvement.
@chinazorokeke5248
Жыл бұрын
@@hektor6766 This 💯
@gigiiski7521
3 жыл бұрын
It's really hard to find the right one. I am 29, and I have never had a relationship, but some dates in the last couple of years. I've finally reached that point when I am fine. Alone. It’s a thing that you don’t have to force.
@Ross-ve9ww
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah I’m 29 aswell and I’ve never had a relationship. I remember getting upset about it in my teens while seeing other guys my age having one and me not having one. But after I graduated from university at age 22 I just became ok with it. I don’t know how but I just did naturally I guess. If I get one I get one, but if I don’t I don’t and either way is good with me. Throughout my 20s I’ve come to realise that I don’t need another person to fulfill my happiness. I’ve got a job that I love, I go the gym, I have great friends I’ve had many great experiences that haven’t involved anything romantic. If I do get into romantic relationships by all means I’ll let it happen, but if I don’t that’s ok too. There’s more to life than romance.
@williefade389
3 жыл бұрын
@@Ross-ve9ww amen
@gigiiski7521
3 жыл бұрын
@@Ross-ve9ww Totally agree. We just have to ignore the "social expectations".
@Ross-ve9ww
3 жыл бұрын
@@gigiiski7521 saying that though, you don’t have to throw the desire of having one out the window. Just don’t beat yourself up about not having one
@auandaily
3 жыл бұрын
Agreed.
@gaganamanjunath732
3 жыл бұрын
Right when I was thinking about getting into a relationship..my feed got blessed. A little backstory - I'm 18 and I've never been in relationship I don't like dating apps or online dating either. And all the boys I know think I'm boring or they don't really know me. I have hard time opening up my thoughts in front of guys. But I think it's good to be young, 18 and ambitious and hard working. But having the love of your life next to you at this young age is a different kind of feeling. I'm unknowingly longing for it. A poet had once said love is just a chance circumstance. Will I never be able to have that kind of chance or circumstance???
@bowadmissions9981
3 жыл бұрын
The way i see it being boring isn't a bad thing, everyone is different and everyone thinks differently, for some people being boring is bad, for others good but in the end it's never a negative quality, i've been boring my whole life yet i still found good friends and had good moments that i will keep with me to the day i die. I know what it's like to want to be in a relationship, the need to try this thing others talk about so well but i think there's no point in looking for one actively, as love is something that comes slowly and no matter how much you rush it, it will still take its time to arrive. I also get why you don't like online dating as it means you won't be able to be close to the other person in the time of need, and dating apps are more often than not used by people who have no interest in anything real or are there just to get some compliments, some even use it just to laugh. I turned 18 not long ago so i don't know if you should listen to me at all but what i think is best is to just live your life not caring about dating much as one day you'll come across someone you really connect with and it will all work out as if it was meant to go like that, don't live your life for that person instead live your life with that person, walking your own paths together. I like to think everyone will find a person they'll truly loved and be truly loved by sooner or later so just wait, i'm sure there is one for you too! P.S. damn i was expecting more boys having this issue lol
@alanstuart2942
3 жыл бұрын
@@bowadmissions9981 Well said!
@BrianZuma
3 жыл бұрын
Agree with you but I think we gotta remember all the love stories real life situations we correlate with that are very much just one perspective of relationship. As someone who wants to be a creator of stories and content I see lots of people while amazing they get rly invested into great or complex stories they are also made to try and be as perfect to tell whatever the author wants to get across. Wether that be a lesson & or a feeling etc it’s not real life no matte how much we try and make it come to life. It’s the same when you save a while for something you rly need and want and then years after you have used it have seen how it breaks down or what it’s flaws are there’s no perfect product that will always last you gotta maintain it, rebuild it or start over with a new version or a completely new device at times.
@bowadmissions9981
3 жыл бұрын
@@BrianZuma indeed, it is not just a matter of whether you love that person or not, it is way more complex and requires a lot of hard work but as long as both sides are willing to work for it then they will be able to keep that relationship going while if either of the two is not willing to commit then it is as good as over, as they say "love is in small things" basically just means that love isn't created trough one great action but rather a large quantity of small ones, things like just talking everyday even for only a few minutes or just helping whenever possible and of course working hard to fix any problem that may present itself along the way. In short: there is love for anyone as long as you're willing to work for it. Also another important part of finding love is remembering that the stories we've been shown in movies or books are more often than not just recreations of most people's dream relationship and by no means will your experience be the same, in fact most long lasting relationships seen from outside can be described as boring and tedious however if both sides are happy enough in that relationship and both work hard to keep it going then by no means should it be ended. As a disclaimer i really have no experience in dating, this is all just things i believe people should know when kt comes to finding true love.
@ddppo8065
3 жыл бұрын
I’ve recently turned 20 and I can so relate to this. Never been in a relationship and it’s not even that I don’t like being single, I just want to taste it, feel it, I want someone to be there for me no matter what and who would cuddle me, laugh with me, hold my hand and just...love me. Although, don’t feel like you’re obliged to fall in love asap, or meet someone especially now in the pandemic. There’s no harm in trying online dating but from my experience you’re not going to right away open up to strangers. Just wait, I still believe in love even tho I’m 2 years older and in the same situation, there is someone waiting for us :))
@aricaice6447
Жыл бұрын
Dating has been a constant thing in my head. I'm not sure if I ever wanted it anymore after my recent break up. Jusy the thought of going out there is really exhausting. The many options are overwhelming yet not even one managed to really get a hold to me. I just kind of let things flow for now.
@Ray-q8v9b
3 жыл бұрын
Lana, I just found your blog while looking for "life purpose" and I just want to thank you for your blog! Your work is priceless! I don't think people appreciate enough this blog. You just make content based on all millennials problems and you're so motivating. I love your soothing voice, way of speech and accent. I would like to watch more videos from your blog. This blog is exactly what I was looking for! You're so educated and wise! Your blog is nothing but music to my ears, food for my brain, candy for my eyes, perfect safe space with, a place of peace and harmony. From the depth of my broken heart, I'd like to say thank you! I can't think of anything you forgot to mention about those 21 century problems. It is so deep I didn't even mind the advertisements. Thank you very much! I literally dropped a tear or two.
@ik4rus816
3 жыл бұрын
“The existence of multiple alternatives makes it easy for us to imagine alternatives that don’t exist - alternatives that combine the attractive features of the ones that do exist. And to the extent that we engage our imagination in this way, we will be even less satisfied with the alternative we end up choosing. So, once again, a greater variety of choices actually makes us feel worse.” - The Paradox of Choice
@Havieri
3 жыл бұрын
All the dates that I got from dating apps felt more like interviews to me. Stopped using them a year ago.
@AnaLu07
3 жыл бұрын
I believe, that in this world of almost 8 billion people, each person is compatible with many people (simmilar values, intentions, where we wanna go in life) and could have a long, healthy and happy relationship with many of those people that we're compatible with. But, we have to meet some of those and make a conscious decision to staying with one person, despite of that. Also,i don't believe love should be the center of someone's life: Many aspects together are what makes a life good, such as a job that is meaningful to you, being healthy, being able to be yourself, having a good relationship with family, some few good friends and maybe, a life partner/romantic love, if you want it.
@penultimateh766
3 жыл бұрын
"Compatibility" is bunk. Notice that nobody ever breaks up because their partner is too tall, too good looking, too emotionally intelligent, or too good at listening. We all want the same thing.
@falak4535
3 жыл бұрын
Completely Agree 🙌🙌🙌
@AnaLu07
3 жыл бұрын
@@penultimateh766 I don't get your point
@Ross-ve9ww
3 жыл бұрын
I think romantic relationships are an optional extra in life, not necessarily needed
@vklnew9824
3 жыл бұрын
kzitem.info/news/bejne/woxq2oGsq2mpjY4
@techoasys
3 жыл бұрын
Spinning off your boat analogy reminded me of Maggie's relationship with Glen in The Walking Dead. Had the options not been so limited, Maggie would have never given Glen the chance, admittedly, both are considerable opposites; however, given the circumstances, the chance was given, and it materialized into an incredible love story.
@nayel1mart
3 жыл бұрын
"theres no quick way to meaningful human connection" love it ✨
@donnydefenders
3 жыл бұрын
You definitely talk a lot of sense. I have never been on a date, at age 31. I guess sometimes that's pretty embarrassing, but then we all have our own paths.
@Lucy-dd7mx
3 жыл бұрын
How many people have you asked out, if I may ask? That seems improbable if you’ve been trying.
@stephanechouinard5867
3 жыл бұрын
@@Lucy-dd7mx the latest stats say 80% of women go for 20% of men. And that 80% of women cycle through those 20%. Hence making women think all men are cheaters. Those guys don’t want to settle because they have so many options. It’s the reason why many men are incels. It’s really sad at the end of the day.
@stevetheiii477
3 жыл бұрын
@@stephanechouinard5867 women actually have no idea how hard men have it, and they think they're struggling to find love psshhh
@donnydefenders
3 жыл бұрын
@@Lucy-dd7mx Zero. I haven't been trying, it just didn't come naturally when I was younger and I thought it might become more comfortable as time went on, it didn't, and now we're here many years later.
@donnydefenders
3 жыл бұрын
@@memosaico9685 Oh thank you so much kind sir.. I bet it makes you feel special calling other people names on the internet 🥱
@earljohnbm
3 жыл бұрын
As for a 25 year old living in today's world, there will be no replacing a good and spontaneous in-person conversation and/or interaction. There's this incomprehensible feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment knowing you've had (or still having) a genuine connection with an individual or a group in general. Also, you can totally see the raw and unfiltered reaction and social nuance of a person that is somewhat "hidden" outside the four corners of a phone/computer.
@nadiarambles
3 жыл бұрын
Very interesting discussion, Lana. So much grey area with modern dating. For example: I do not think Dating Apps are all bad or all good. I believe there are pros and cons depending on your values, goals, preferences, etc. For example, for lgbtq+ individuals feeling isolated in tiny towns, it can be a wonderful thing to be able to connect with people from the town over. I’m not on any of these apps atm, but my previous experiences taught me that it’s important to a) know what I want (serious partnership? Hookup? Casual dating? Open to see where it goes?) and b) communicate it right upfront and respectfully with my matches. If I get ghosted for my honesty, then clearly we weren’t aligned. 🤷🏻♀️
@RAFAELLO077
3 жыл бұрын
i soo hate dating. It is amazing to see people always waiting for someone perfect and missing the best years of their lifes being alone.
@JosephPuplava
3 жыл бұрын
I have been single for 14 years and have given up dating a long time ago due to selfishness, drama, irresponsibility, immaturity, and one-sided relationship.. It makes me to realize that I don’t deserve the same patterned dating cycle that I have decided to end it there. After doing so, I have more freedom to do what I love doing in life and am able to focus more on what I want to achieve in life. Any relationship requires two people to compromise on anything and it is very time consuming. Sometimes the relationship can pull you back from achieving something that you love to do in life. I have been there many times and it is hard. I find it more successfully when I am single to focus on what I want to accomplish in life. I have to agree on all three things that you have talked about. I am with you on that.
@IshaSharma11
3 жыл бұрын
So true
@intentionalliving7326
3 жыл бұрын
I think as you focus on your dreams you will naturally attract people around you who do the same
@JosephPuplava
3 жыл бұрын
@@intentionalliving7326 I agreed
@AndiD018
3 жыл бұрын
I think the secret to a happy relationship is choosing that person every day. So pick someone whose personality you like and are obviously attracted to and just stick with them. It's that easy. On a side note. The "option overflow" is similar to analysis paralysis which applies to buying products. The more options we're offered, the less likely we are to purchase that product.
@shagwellington
2 жыл бұрын
I couldn't agree more. Your points are well thought through. Most people seem to be on automatic and assume there will always be the next one, and the next one.
@RORO-be5yc
3 жыл бұрын
I’m just so sad that your videos are not translated to other languages. I just want the world to acknowledge this different perspective. It’s so beautiful.
@penultimateh766
3 жыл бұрын
The problem is that EVERYONE wants the same type of person. Tall, good looking, emotionally intelligent, sense of humor, just independent enough, just outgoing enough, good listener, etc. And there just aren't that many people like that around. So when your friends tell you "never settle" they are basically condemning you to be single forever. We all need more realistic expectations. Except me of course.
@chggg567
3 жыл бұрын
It's mainly due to the good lookers in movies and dramas. Everyone wants them, but even the actors know that they are not as good as the people they acted.
@mahijb4055
3 жыл бұрын
No you can ride CC forever. No one cares.
@potatoman8763
2 жыл бұрын
If it makes you feel better, I am all of those things but have been single my whole life.
@trappart9209
2 жыл бұрын
@@potatoman8763 but why?
@potatoman8763
2 жыл бұрын
@@trappart9209 Question of the century
@v3g499
3 жыл бұрын
I think at some point the definition of a "relationship" will need to be redefined.
@IshaSharma11
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@natashak8946
3 жыл бұрын
How would you define it?
@qazedc3
3 жыл бұрын
I feel like in several centuries from from now marriage as a label and institution will be dissolved in human society. Think about how marriage was just for practical and financial reasons 200 years ago. People are slowly becoming more progressive and less strict about these rules and obligatary norms. I called it here first future folks y'all can frame this comment
@lynic-0091
2 жыл бұрын
Lana, you are absolutely gorgeous. And the fact you're so genuine makes your channel amazing. Merry christmas btw!
@howardcohen6817
3 жыл бұрын
Mr. Pikarski, the night watch-man at the university at which I work, met his wife before the war. He always spoke of her glowingly - how wonderful she is, beautiful etc. I listend keenly as I was only 50 or so and couldn't imagine loving someone like this. He cared for her as she had multiple complications in her health. I asked him to tell me how they managed to stay together all these years (70!). He began to tell me how resourceful she was in finding a rutabaga (turnip-root) in the after war-years and cooking it to make the meal last for a week. Can you imagine? "It was the hardship that soldered us together.", he answered. "There's no necessity like this, these days." He became lost when his wife passed and I was glad that the university didn't just dismiss him for being old. "What else should I do?", he asked rhetorically about his future at the university and about his life in general. I was glad to see him at least recover before he left his job of his own volition.
@moneygirlsandclothes
3 жыл бұрын
I wouldn’t do it again. Learn to love being single & if you’re lonely get a pet, they’ll love you forever
@moneygirlsandclothes
3 жыл бұрын
Its a sad reality but most people will waste your time, energy & money
@intentionalliving7326
3 жыл бұрын
Lol amen!! 😁
@shobisyd5762
3 жыл бұрын
“Forever” in a pet’s life is about 15-20 yrs though
@taoist32
3 жыл бұрын
@@shobisyd5762 Can always get another pet.
@hassjackspirit8879
3 жыл бұрын
@@taoist32 can always get another date
@matterantimatter1
3 жыл бұрын
The greatest moment in ones life is when you find that perfect someone, and that someone starts with yourself, and when you do that you create a vacuum in the universe .Then all the love you could ever want would come to you.
@rareview362
3 жыл бұрын
I like your energy because it resonates with me. You're not overconfident and seemingly content and fully happy like many women I see on here on KZitem. They make it like they are perfect invincible creatures. You're coming off as genuine and natural. I appreciate that.
@diamonddust9889
Жыл бұрын
I definitely prefer that old fashioned straightforward mentality of meeting organically and staying together forever
@pedrorodriguez-vz6qm
3 жыл бұрын
I have never had a long-lasting relationahip with anyone yet, and I feel happy about it. I feel great being single but that doesn't mean I'm not open for anyone that is willing to grow up together with me.
@gabyd.6050
3 жыл бұрын
This really resonated with me. I’ve just came out of a relationship that came from online dating and I really felt as if once we really had that big argument and get down about serious things thats when they really wanted a way out. And I find that I was really willing to put in work to make it work but they weren’t. And another is that I actually did choose them from someone else and they have told me that I was just another option for them, like a mindless swipe right lol. So I guess its all for the best. I’ll let dating a rest for now. What’s for me will always find me :)
@IshaSharma11
3 жыл бұрын
All the best for your future
@LunaEscobar18
3 жыл бұрын
Lana I share a lot of your thoughts.... I had the same feeling about dating when I live in London....now in Berlin, I find it so unbelievable good.. I think as long as communication is clear everything flows so much better. dating apps like most apps need to be handled with care and don't let them consume us
@darkcybernaut
2 жыл бұрын
Wow Lana, this is real.♥️ Another problem is that young people have all the information available and instead of being more skeptical, they believe and repeat any propaganda they read or watch online instead of going out there to real life and experience stuff. "What gets you in trouble is not what you don't know. What gets you in trouble is what you know for sure, but it ain't so." The message in this video got me big time. Exactly what I'm going through right now. You are really wise for someone so young.
@MisterPol
3 жыл бұрын
Saying that someone else is your everything is kinda like saying you and your life is nothing
@moonhousing
3 жыл бұрын
That’s beautifully said 🙏🏼
@laurabilze3105
3 жыл бұрын
Love that
@mervekevser1256
3 жыл бұрын
There is a funny thing that happened to me a few weeks ago. I wanted to write a list of 10 things that I want to accomplish or reach before I turne 30 (I am 22 years old rn). And I listed things like “save this much money” or “build more muscle/ turn muscle training into a habit” etc. And when I was done, I had 10 goals listed. So at the same day when I went to bed. I realised that I didn’t write something about my love life or to find a bf and maybe even marry before I turn 30. It hit me like a wave, because what i understood was that I subconsciously/ unconsciously (idk) did not want a serious relationship before I turn 30 that could lead to marriage, because I had soooo many other things that i wanted from the bottom of my heart. Even tho, I always complain to myself, about how lonely I am and that I will end up without a man by my side. I think that is because of social media and the pressure your receive from your surroundings, about when you’ll find a bf or when do you want to get married. So I alway thought that I wanted to marry because I have to and that finding a serious relationship I a necessity. But I don’t. And I realised it by writing down the list without thinking about what I wanted to accomplish.
@j.goethe4980
3 жыл бұрын
That's exactly how I feel
@christix6648
3 жыл бұрын
I feel like lately there's too much of this 'becoming a better version of yourself', 'becoming a millionaire before 30' etc that it has become some kind of pressure and i'm slowly becoming fed up with these illusional ideas. especially in times of covid and self isolation I've come to realize that I simply lack a companion by my side. people have devalued simple human relationships
@monascrafts7404
3 жыл бұрын
I find it hilarious how people see 30 as "the wall". Once you get there, you'll find that you don't look or feel any different than you did at 21.
@goldenpeoplesmile
3 жыл бұрын
I think it's so beautiful how you honoured your way, because there is never any age where we have to have "accomplished" anything in my opinion and maybe it's your journey to dedicate your 20's to yourself and that's equally so beautiful and worthy. :) (Screw societies idea of what happiness is meant to be seriously!!) Just want to add from my experience, that it doesn't have to be an OR. Career or relationship. Myself or the other. My boyfriend and I are both super dedicate to our own journeys, have a lot of independence, we don't ever talk about marriage or that stuff because it will happen eventually maybe or maybe not, we just love being young, doing our thing and our relationship supports that and actually gives us more energy on our unique paths. I just wanted to share that because the OR narrative is still so strong and I think many people fear they will have to give themselves up for love... but we always make the rules for our lives and it's totally possible to create an AND. But it has to come from a place of freedom and not neediness, so you owning that is really a massive thing! Love it!:)
@mervekevser1256
3 жыл бұрын
@@christix6648 you are right. But I want to buy in some time of my life either an apartment or a house, that’s why I am saving
@marcnietocachinero
3 жыл бұрын
*"If we seek out a partner, we don't do it for the same reason that we used to"* < THIS, so relatable Edit: In my opinion being married was a way to get stability in life. Nowadays we are turning into a nomad society so, eventually, stability and settle down will be the exception, with all the consequences that this comes with, including love and finding a partner.
@AfordStandup
3 жыл бұрын
This stood out to me as well!
@IshaSharma11
3 жыл бұрын
Well said
@adilah3596
3 жыл бұрын
I love your your voice Lana. your voice is so calm and sounded like a therapist
@AriLove225
Жыл бұрын
Personally my dating only started to work when I told myself that I wouldn't stop until I found the one. And setting up my goals and intentions in a relationship upfront. If I could not see this dude in my life in 5 years with what I wanted in life. Then it was it. Im now 2 years into the best relationship i've ever had.
@FitKitchenCreations
3 жыл бұрын
I think when people fall in love, their souls have spoken to each other, but people make it complicated as the gentleman told you. As all other human stupid reactions to simple and beautiful things in life...
@vklnew9824
3 жыл бұрын
kzitem.info/news/bejne/woxq2oGsq2mpjY4
@VASUNTHARAI
3 жыл бұрын
Who else have never been on a date before?
@Melly16yr10
3 жыл бұрын
Me
@ibrahimhamada5751
3 жыл бұрын
@@Melly16yr10 you don't have dating experience
@eduardopedroza5336
3 жыл бұрын
Lana. I discovered your channel last year and it has made a difference in my life. I am an introvert as well as you and I discovered that I am INTJ thanks to a video you made regarding the Myers Briggs test. Your videos give me a sense of peace and calm. Thank you =)
@IshaSharma11
3 жыл бұрын
Same
@Nabeelahify
3 жыл бұрын
I do agree with the Too many options notion and the behaviours it induces..
@OlaHermansson
Жыл бұрын
Those are topics that I too come across. I struggle with some insight so I thank you for yours. They resonate with me. My experience signing up on dating service was "oh my god, so much options". I was glad about those who had a bio, and wondered about those who did not or had unoriginal, and I read everything and weighed them to shoose a few and mad my first message to get no response. This continued more or less until I numbed down and went to tinder. The story continues because I'm not one of the 20% women seem to prefer online. Fortunately, in reality I know I can be and want to be so I take that as a proof online dating is not for everyone.
@roxanniemiller1725
3 жыл бұрын
I don't Date neither. Why? Because I don't see the sense of dating when you know in the end it's not going to work out (I lose feeling easily and I want my soul mate someone who connects with me on a deeper level)
@CryBaby-oj2lz
3 жыл бұрын
Same
@mahijb4055
3 жыл бұрын
Are you in later 20s or early 30s?
@jackfavvv0280
3 жыл бұрын
Deeper level? LOL good luck with that. Most guys just want sex and don't really think much about your thoughts.
@myrambles4864
3 жыл бұрын
"Swiping our way to confusion" wow! Too accurate 👍
@namratakhandelwal4426
2 жыл бұрын
Your all content teaches me so much about lifestyle, mindset, growth and relationship , these are so important but are not being taught in schools or universities sadly ! Thanks a ton for Working Hard ! Keep Growing and Glowing ❤️
@lin_mill
3 жыл бұрын
Such a thought provoking video! The speed and convenience of our modern societies definitely shifted our mindsets and our dating included. I also think it's very much this idea of a "perfect match" that pushes people to be constantly searching for the "best" or "better," even when someone pretty amazing may be already right in front of them. I've definitely had my share of that, and I've realized it's not a matter of "settling," but having honesty and respect so a couple can work together towards a more perfect relationship in your eyes. Mahalo for such an interesting message again, Lana!
@clairechevrolet4969
3 жыл бұрын
It's all so so sad. I just wanna keep living with my pink glasses on and think that one day very soon I'll meet this one person who I'm going to be so happy with!!
@abrotheryourbrother3429
3 жыл бұрын
You definitely will.
@DrawingTatto
3 жыл бұрын
look how calm she is ..!!!
@reyagu4607
3 жыл бұрын
Lana and montell fish speak what my ego struggles to express. Working on it everyday, and self acceptance and healing of past. Love and light on everyone's path
@johnred9735
3 жыл бұрын
"Ideals" are just that "ideals". Hardly anything on life will ever go as planned or meet you expectations. That can be frustrating, but it can also be a really good thing to experience. Like you could think of the ideal partner up in your head whether from looks to how they act, but in truth you will never find anyone like that. Tou never know who you will meet in your life and when you meet them you don't know how they are going to impact you life. If you have anyone in your life that you love whether they are family or friend or your wife or husband or even kids your going to have struggles. Your going to fight and bicker at each other, but in the end that love you have with them won't fade. Forgive each other and throw your pride away for the sake of the people who you truly love and are worth loving, because those people may not be ideal, but they are more precious than any ideal person you could think of in your head because they are real.
@kunaak
3 жыл бұрын
I am in my mid 40's and even though I dont feel very old, I see a massive difference between how I had to date, vs some of my younger friends in their 20's. When I saw a girl I was attracted to, I had to go up to her, talk, and learn how to make that work. There was alot of trial and error, rejection, and occassionally something worked. I'd be mildly funny, make her smile, learn to really listen when a woman says something. When I got a no, it wasnt the end of the world, it wasnt soul crushing, it just meant I wasnt her type. Now my younger friends are single into their 30's, stuck playing videogames and burying themselves in hobbies to pretend thats enough, totally petrified to talk to a girl - unless they can do it without being face to face. They never have to develope that person to person connection. They want to see 1 hot girl, message her on Instagram, and then she becomes immediately devoted to him, and only him. Anything less then instant success - means they wont even bother. I think social media is crippling them in a way, because they never have to develope that person to person relatability. They just want to see a hot girl somewhere, and message her on some app, because there is no risk in that. So their courage is always low, they are scared to death to talk to a girl, unless it means 100% success without risk, and that just doesn't exist. Rejection becomes paralyzing to them, so they never try. It's a self defeating cycle.
@PureNoirette
3 жыл бұрын
your words, beauty + editing...i'm always blown away
@headzshots5263
3 жыл бұрын
You forgot her voice.
@PureNoirette
3 жыл бұрын
@@headzshots5263 definitely! :)
@dr.jamesjoseph8772
3 жыл бұрын
I liked how u said basically "so what's the answer?" I like the idea of learning typology (I'm an ENTP) and seeing what the different "types" r like. For example I got to know well an INFJ like yourself which actually lead me to your videos after it ended. But what I can say is that there was incredible synchronicity that I had never experienced that i attribute to my extraverted intuition and her intraverted intuition (also Si-Se). Since some types r so rare (INFJ 1/100?) I never would have met and experienced that with her if I didn't meet lots of people. Now I have a frame of reference to which I strive for, but also realize certain "types" are not worth wasting much of my time with. I realize this is an overly simplified reason. However, I think when it comes to "now what?" I'm getting more comfortable with the idea that perhaps traditional marriage and kids may not be in the cards for me, and that in this day in age that may not be such a bad thing, or dangerous from a survival standpoint. I know it probably sounds ridiculous to some, but I think some sort of "leasing dating" (like paying rent, instead of buying the house) where 2 people who have chemistry are agreeable to the idea of enjoying time together, but can opt out at anytime makes more sense, alleviates loneliness, and protects from toxic relationships that can destroy one's purpose in life and much more. It doesn't mean "everlasting love" cannot still happen, In fact probably makes it more likely that it will from all the experiences. Yes, of course, there will always be someone "better" out there, but if you're "lease dating" methodically mindful of types, I think its possible to alleviate much of the imagined "someone better out there" with the realization that most people are not a fit, and that you are not missing out as much anymore. I hope that makes sense!!! Thank you for your wise video!!!
@Baasicstuff
3 жыл бұрын
You are very intelligent, I think you would benefit from meeting someone that could match your verbal ability. You met the right guy, the conversations that you have with your mate can be next level.
@jackfavvv0280
3 жыл бұрын
The guys that are on the same verbal ability aren't interested in talking to women, and much prefer sex. I know because I'm one of them. Dating a woman like that is like dating myself and who wants to do that?
@Baasicstuff
3 жыл бұрын
@@jackfavvv0280 Are you suggesting that men prefer a woman that is maybe less intelligent than themselves? I will agree most men don't like a woman to make more money, or have clear outwardly signs of greater financial competence than them. We have our roles, I know many men, I mentor many, if the woman makes more money than the man she wears the pants......PEROID. Women know right off the bat if you're the provider, just like men can visually As for high level conversation, I need that from a woman, you fall in love with her ideas and then her, you can talk for hours. It feels good to talk with an intelligent woman, you feel more powerful, like you two can change the world together.
@jackfavvv0280
3 жыл бұрын
@@Baasicstuff Not at all. It doesn't matter if the woman is more or less intelligent, or even if the women has life goals or not. Men wants sex from a women above all else. Anyone who tell you otherwise are just trying to maintain their public image. The guys with good verbal skills don't really care to "chat" with a woman with equal verbal skills, they are just thinking about sex...PERIOD.
@Supriyahui
3 жыл бұрын
Your all thumbnails are so calming. I like that.
@IshaSharma11
3 жыл бұрын
Me too❤
@MindsetWithJosh
3 жыл бұрын
Dating would be a lot better if social media and dating apps didn't make everyone shun commitment. Ride-or-dies are so rare nowadays
@LatinTalents
3 жыл бұрын
The thing is that most people do not commit but expect to upgrade everything from status to income in their lives including their partners. Right there, loyalty, respect and commitment goes out of the window. Modern dating could better be based on what the other person brings to the table: values, education, personality, skills, financial resources and even other realities like divorces, kids, debts, or psychological issues should be taken into consideration. And hey the phrase “I just bring myself” is not enough in a long term relationship.
@brians132
3 жыл бұрын
@ 3:57 - This exact point was made in the famous novella "The Little Prince" (by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry) when he talks about his Rose that he has cared for. ⚘
@keenleannuanonas643
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah the paradox of choice once saw a Ted talk… it gets highlighted every indecisive moment arghh
@LetyMo7
3 жыл бұрын
Hi Lana! You might like The Agony of Eros (Byung-Chul Han). He talks about this topic and, for me, his point is really accurate. The main problem is not to see the other one as a person but as something to cosume. It is needed to realise the others being. I love this topic, nice to hear you talking about it :)
@nadagomaa644
3 жыл бұрын
I always think of a relationship as something really profound and serious, it is worth investing time, effort, and of course a lot of patience but recently everything has become in a rush so you don't even stop for a minute to know why you want to be in one of them
@alimidoriya4679
3 жыл бұрын
I've never dated anyone before, but I feel like people just need something to make them feel furfill, personally I have zero idea what loving someone wholeheartedly feel like, I mean am 19 and my first kiss was a year ago at a kissing booth. I don't think people idea a lover I think people just need to be something to someone
@sgaf7001
2 жыл бұрын
I'm more scared than interested in intimacy. Recently, I felt a special connection with someone which didn't last long because he asked me to date and I refused even though at that moment, I think I liked him. After a long time, I can finally relate to Taylor Swift's songs again 😂. Anyway, he stopped communicating after that night. I'm thankful for being scared at times. It saves me from long lasting pain that comes with attachment. I'm just not ready for it right now. I thought I want it, but the moment it appears right in front of me, I always run away no matter how strong my feelings are for that person at that moment.
@sgaf7001
Жыл бұрын
@@Polly1589 The funny thing is, I'm a psychology student so I'm quite aware that I have issues. 😂 I'm working on it every single day. Thank you for the concern.
@aknightofcamelot
3 жыл бұрын
A relationship like marriage works better when two people are serving each other towards a common goal, greater than themselves. If the goal is the person you're with, they'll get boring real fast.
@aab8273
3 жыл бұрын
I love how calmly you talk. Makes me feel calm..... Thumbs up.
@esabamuattarun1883
2 жыл бұрын
i wasnt watching this video for a long time thinking the video might contradict my thoughts as im currently in a relationship. but the fact is i really do agree with her. in this world of instant gratification, dating is the hardest thing to do.
@craigdelaney8737
3 жыл бұрын
Hmm.. I have thought about this often. [I'm 60yrs old.] In the Days of old tow people grew up in the same environment: Village, Town or part of the City. And the Education that they had was also of limited and similar nature. Plus, even befor dating two people spent time with and knew one another. Setting on the porch. Walking through the park. Going to the same Get Togethers.. [Growing up..] But in This Age; how much time does one really spend together? You go to a Movie and spend most of the time With the Movie! You go to an Amusement Park and spend more time figuring out what to do there, more than just being together... How much time Do WE Really spend just Being.. With One Another?..
@lifeform106
2 жыл бұрын
I don't comment on videos usually and I thought I was not going to like this video, but WOW this was exactly what I needed. I keep thinking I need a relationship or I need to do this or why can't it be like back then BUT actually love was a finance thing back then and choosing the right person wasn't as easy as you may think. Before this video, I thought I have to get a relationship to turn my life around and I need to do online dating the number of choices bothered me, and feeling life is a certain way. I need to focus on myself and understanding myself and if someone enjoys being around me like you say in the video I will allow it to flow naturally. I really love this channel and it has been helping me a lot :D
@alecwestgate
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for articulating this so well. There are a lot of really good ideas codified in tradition and sometimes religion - such as committing to another person and growing together with them through good and bad times. Unfortunately it seems that the “code” goes without a good explanation of “why”, so we look at it as a set of rules instead of recognizing the wisdom at the root. I like the way you laid this out. Very inspiring.
@DiwanX
3 жыл бұрын
9:38 Where does all of that leave us? Well it leave us to know that even we are living in technologically advanced and materialistic society, We are becoming morally in really bad situation; Family is the core of society if we did not care about it the whole society well fall a part, When we reduce and underestimate the importance of the family or let's say the importance of the marriage and replace it with casual relationships and similar to it when we can change partner whenever and wherever we want, This makes us emotionally and mentally anxiety and unsettling because as you said there are so much alternatives. I think the real question must be a question about moral and value.
@IshaSharma11
3 жыл бұрын
Yeas
@joeljoseph5021
3 жыл бұрын
I'd have to agree with your views. When you have alot of options you don't bother much , but when you have less you need to think .
@mengchunzhang3140
2 жыл бұрын
conversely, In the past I have no much time and opportunities for dating with the others , I am very regetful that I missed out on my young period.
@mridusharma8311
3 жыл бұрын
Since all of us here in the comments have similar views, may be we are all made to date each other! :P On a serious note, you are super honest, relatable and wise Lana.
@jonymilanezz
3 жыл бұрын
Lana, you don't need to use your hot body to attract people to your channel. This is a reference to the picture where you are seating and working on your computer.
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