Malignant narcissist is what I’m dealing with. I’m terrified of him. No one believes me. It’s scary. I pray I make it.
@cat4153
4 жыл бұрын
I hope you are well & safe. Believe in yourself! You're worth it.
@mccally681
4 жыл бұрын
DO NOT GIVE UP. MAKE HIM SEE THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TELL THE TRUTH. make him panic...then ASK HIM FOR THE MOON. I’m right there with you! I’m in that trauma state all the time now. No relief. Feels like he has your beer and you’re too tired to fight him just know that tomorrow you’ll feel a little bit better or the next day if not today don’t let the days where they get you good make you think that you’re on the downhill. Go to the police station and tell them you need some way to manage some thing because things are escalating and they are being taken seriously so that way when something bad happens which it well they’ll show up and they’ll know you and they will help you like they wouldn’t know how before. I did exactly this last month and I just got lucky that when the cops came the next day the guy I talk to you was there and now the entire station knows and I feel a little better but I’m scared too. I haven’t turned on him. Do not give up. Remember how top shelf you are that’s why they want you no
@mccally681
4 жыл бұрын
Don’t let him put you on the defensive all that does is give you a chance of preserving the only way to acquire is to defend yourself offensively. Do not give away your leverage to soon you are half of that relationship so whether he realizes it or not you have power. Do not forget that you are top shelf I’m sure that’s why he wanted you in the first place no matter how in the mud you’ve gotten or how deep it in the hole he puts you you are that state of the art Human and He’s no match for you even when you’re at your weakest. That’s why they have all their little tricks and manipulations is because they can’t get what they want without them. Let that be a reminder when you’re in the trauma state to do what you do best and did the lightning don’t let the air rot. The truth is if you’re not in the trauma state it’s because you’re giving him supply and things are good for a moment I know it’s easy to rest. Tell yourself that he will try to manipulate you in a maybe a day...Don’t let yourself be disappointed even though that’s impossible
@mccally681
4 жыл бұрын
If she gets really bad and you need an out if you tell him like that he needs to sleep on the couch or some thing and they will try to sneak in or some thing it only works a couple times but you know tell him you will scream at the top of your lungs if he comes near you. It only works you know if you’re in an apartment building like me. If you try to lock the bedroom door or something it’ll make it worse. Also a trick is if they invalidate you and you just need to win to take a break mine always responded well like when I would respond with a comment like OK glasses when he invalidated some thing I said about what we were watching and then he came to me and said I was right because the alternative is that he has bad eyesight so it’s not about your opinion anymore. The truth is he probably wasn’t even paying attention so neither of what he said about being wrong or right matters which is shitty but at least you don’t let them invalidate you and you don’t doubt your own eyesight or waste your time explaining yourself to them your Spidey senses are super right if you think something is a certain way it is it’s rarely rarely wrong so Come up with comments that are like
@mccally681
4 жыл бұрын
For example when he’s telling you how much everyone hates you and that you have no friends and all these things you can say something like as if people base their friendship on merit. The conversation is not about you anymore it’s about the quality of his friendships. Because we both know why he’s even able to say that because he’s isolated you and triangulated most likely
@lisagrimes4801
Жыл бұрын
Rebecca and Dr. Ramani, together you’re killing it!!!
@ivanmartin9067
Жыл бұрын
Great great advice, thank you!
@c.breeze7889
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the great tips Rebecca!
@carlyk7322
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Rebecca & Dr.Ramani , I watched all 3 episodes and learned so much. I will probably go back and watch again and make notes. I did pick up some points that may be a change for me, but I will make wise decisions.. I have followed Dr. Ramani for a long time so I can say I am healed. Now comes the fun part of divorce. It’s a long process. Thank you again, I appreciate the work you both do.
@joannajohnson696
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you Rebecca & Dr. Ramani for taking the time to reach out to us with your expertise. I live with a malignant narcissist & I need a "safety plan." Reality does not allow me to leave without a "safe exit plan." In our state we can file for divorce for "alcoholism or physical abuse." How would one prove "acoholism?"
@moniquetammenga3468
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this explanation.
@fayceedat670
3 жыл бұрын
Im married to a covert narc for 40yrs. Finally decided to leave. Hope i make it
@skatemania511
2 жыл бұрын
How is it going? I left my Covert Narc over 2 years ago and still stuck under his control....he refuses to leave the house, although there is a court order to sell. He agreed to a settlement, only to renege, so I have bank accounts frozen...
@doloresinkenbrandtanddawnc9212
3 жыл бұрын
Greetings from sunny SW Florida. My husband has the police in his pocket. Now what do I do to protect myself?
@kimslone5185
4 жыл бұрын
The police will very often not help the non-military partner of a soldier. They side with the soldier. In the case of 2 soldiers, they side with the male soldier.
@reelsonwheels2128
3 жыл бұрын
I watched two episodes of this, but when the Zung said at 8 minutes to get a restraining order, I lost confidence in her abilities and now think she is simply shooting from her hip in this conversation. Dr Ramani quickly adds that restraining orders typically escalate hostilities. Thank goodness for that. I recommend that Dr Ramani do more videos without Rebecca Zung.
@SueDenimDomDenim
2 жыл бұрын
Dr Ramini has her own channel with over a million subscribers goes to show she knows her stuff and she’s down to earth no over made up face she says it like it is and I love her videos they are so helpful
@bridgetpower6994
4 жыл бұрын
How do you negotiate for a better outcome after an assault ? I have several injuries and facing 1 if not 2 surgeries. He has been charged and has filed for divorce after years of stopping me with a number of games using the police and the system . Thank you
@scrawnyrawny813
4 жыл бұрын
How about (audio) recording your house? From morning to night. Is that aloud?
@EMGoudsmit
Жыл бұрын
I called the police but they were no help.
@LoveLove-kg6pg
4 жыл бұрын
How would you know the difference between someone who is controlling and someone who is a Narcissist? Or they both the same. ?
@ewum
4 жыл бұрын
Love Love I guess that all narcissists are the people who are controlling but not all the people who are controlling are narcissists.
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