Why does therapy make us feel worse at first? If we have been stuffing things down for years and years, and finally decide to start talking about it, there can be a lot to go through, a lot to feel, and a lot to make sense of. I like to think of this process as me sorting through things and organizing them appropriately. Like if I am talking through a toxic relationship I had, in my mind it’s like I have one box that’s for the things connected directly to that person, another box for the things that are directly connected to me and my issues, and finally, another box for the things that I have attached to that relationship but really aren’t a part of it. My work in therapy is to dump out all of the stuff I have that I feel is in any way connected to that toxic relationship and sort through it. I have to figure out what’s mine to care for and what isn’t something I have any control over. But seeing all that emotional stuff just thrown out onto the floor of my mind can be hard and overwhelming at times, and, you guessed it, make me feel worse at first. Not to mention that it does take some time to dig through it all and put it into the appropriate box. So being patient with myself as I classify and categorize is important, even though it’s uncomfortable.
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