So sorry to hear. Here are some videos we hope can help: Healing From Emotional Abuse playlist: kzitem.info/door/PLzb_gedZa6y5VGEhh3V4Qt_Ksb0CNFdIz
@mercedesvallar3384
11 ай бұрын
It's 25 years for me
@Kayce429
3 ай бұрын
54 for me…. Are you in a better place?
@coachlana7343
Жыл бұрын
Thank you. I cried when you said “I get it.” I felt heard and understood. It’s healing.
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
So glad you found us and felt validated. thanks for sharing.
@macysilva3590
Жыл бұрын
Broke my foot today after losing my mind and trying to kick down the walls of my house. There’s so much rage in me I wanna destroy everything around me. All because my narc parent wants to press my boundaries and trigger me once again after not speaking for so long ..
@randyshaw2706
Жыл бұрын
Lift weights, go for a run/ hike in a forest. Ride a bike, play with a dog but most importantly enjoy your life and be good to yourself. You have the right to be happy.
@FroggyFreg
Жыл бұрын
@@randyshaw2706 as someone dealing with these feeling it's not the same as normal anger I can't just feel it and make it go away or distract myself to calm down it's constant and everytime I distract myself it comes back later.
@randyshaw2706
Жыл бұрын
I understand, I often feel like a can of pop that has been shook up. Stuck in the prison of my own mind. It is something that I don’t wish upon anyone else. I hope you find peace of mind and that your’ foot gets better.
@marial3231
8 ай бұрын
Macy how is your foot? I can understand your rage, it’s unlike anything those feelings. It’s not anger, but more, which I think is rage. So sorry you felt that. We are only human is what I say to myself. ❤ ❤❤
@sheilagibson510
2 ай бұрын
I suffered from EXTREME anxiety/panic for years. "Normal" ways to alleviate it didn't work either!!!
@davidsutliff8312
9 ай бұрын
I have been dealing with narcissistic abuse for several years. About a year ago, I started educating myself on how to better defend myself against it. Since then, my narc wife has gotten worse and worse and worse and has been repeatedly trying to discard me because I'm no longer a good source of supply. I feel like I lost pieces of myself that I can never get back. I'm not myself. I'm angry, I'm irrational and pessimistic now. I used to love diving deep into holidays and doing kind things for people, and now I feel like I can barely even take care of myself let alone do any of that. I am so exhausted and lost.
@victoriarivera9071
9 ай бұрын
I am certain you know this is not a reflection of you. These people are SICK- most don’t know and literally believe their untrue reality because it is their only way to cope ( I am working to get out of covert narcissist abuse). These sick individuals in their attempt to be or feel in control, “convinced” you/ gaslighted/projected all the hate they feel toward themselves to you- just knowing this, is the light at the end of the tunnel. Knowing this person did this is important- because you will always be you- the kind, grateful and happy person is still there. It was pushed inside of you, but alive and still there. I came to terms I allowed it to happen to an extent-- i am angry AF, with him but mostly myself . A separation, even from a toxic person is a LOSS- it is sad and painful and you must allow yourself to grieve…. Anger is a stage as well as sadness; they might go back and forth sometimes and it is OK. As I repeat myself every day-allow yourself to feel. This will pass too It is mentally taxing to come to terms the “reality” you lived is not real, that it is over and how this was allowed to happen-- you will never get a reasonable answer nor will be able to hold a positive conversation because they donnot operate in logic or reason. All you need to know is this is a mentally ill person… this is a person stemming from abuse- and the abused becomes the abuser as the cycle too familiar to them repeats. Hurt people hurt people ….it is tough , but if you survived her- you can recover and thrive
@T8ZZY
2 ай бұрын
Leave her. I’m going through separation and I feel myself healing everyday. I now wake up ready for the day, not waking up with a disappointment that I woke up at all.
@warrenbradford2597
Жыл бұрын
I strongly agree with you, Dr. Hawkins. There is voice in my head that tells me that my emotions should not be taking for granted. My anger is a reminder why I need to escape my toxic environment.
@coryharry7300
Жыл бұрын
I’m going through this right now, absolutely exploding when something triggers me, and it’s scary. My solution has been just to avoid people as much as possible, but it’s difficult at work. Exhausting.
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
DBT and emotion regulation work or trauma therapy can help. Please reach out if you want to learn how we can help. (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
@UserName-wc5lc
11 ай бұрын
I nearly killed my abuser, blind rage, if I had not found strength in the moment (thank you God) I would be in prison doing life, on the news with everyone local and from my past (including my parents) saying "I knew he was evil"....the ultimate gaslight!!
@bheard2334
6 ай бұрын
So much like me now. I was always happy but after years of verbal abuse lately I'm ugly and I don't wanna be that person anymore.. I pray to God to show me and he has over and over but its painful.
@your.beautiful.mind.now.
8 күн бұрын
Today, I felt seen, heard, and understood. Something I have not truly felt nearly my whole life. Today, I felt like God saw me through this video. For so long, I felt the weight of being solely responsible for my blow-ups, even though I know they are out of my nature, on my shoulders. Today, you have lifted that shame and guilt. Thank you.
@TinaLouise73
Жыл бұрын
Thank u for recognizing i am a victim not a perpeTRAITOR and validating my feelings.
@TinaLouise73
4 ай бұрын
@@StopSmearCampaigns tysm x
@AlanaJ_888
10 ай бұрын
Thank you for validating my anger. Everyday is more abuse and I feel so angry I’m so tired of it. I have psychogenic nonepileptic seizure disorder (PNES) and is triggered everytime my family (who I’m stuck living w as a disabled adult rn) yells at me or baits me or start an argument or puts me down, and they know they trigger it by yelling at me and do it anyways daily. It’s exhausting and disabling and I’m full of pain and feelings of betrayal and anger. I’m tired of the scapegoating and gaslighting. I realize my onset of conversion disorder/pnes is a manifestation of enduring this abuse from them my whole life. Too many videos about being angry post abuse, not enough about ongoing current abuse. Thank you for making this Dr.💚
@jaynavincent4533
8 жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this. I told my husband to go f himself recently. This is very out of character for me. I feel like I should be ashamed. But I meant it. And I still mean it. I'm so angry. I know it sounds terrible but when he's near me I feel physically ill. I feel like I my insides are going to crawl out of my skin. It really is comforting to have heard these words today. Thank you.
@sarina5352
Жыл бұрын
😢😢😢😢😢😢Sooo true there comes a time when you can't take it at all.
@Selah1141
3 ай бұрын
It’s okay to get mad ❤
@lindyc.2552
2 күн бұрын
I just came across this video. I have been dealing with all you said, for 25 years now, married to a narc spouse. Its SO TRUE!!! In a narc relationship you are forced to keep stuffing and stuffing and stuffing all your anger and frustration inside. The narcissist will abuse you, then come back later and carry on like nothing happened. They will look at you like you are the one with the problem if you dare try to bring up how you feel about what took place. If I do try to bring up how his mistreatment affects me, he gets angry or he just walks away from me. Yes, it is very difficult that you never get resolution. All the pain and anger are just festering deep inside and you have no outlet for it, because the narcissist does NOT want to hear it! You have no voice!!!! I did tell my narc spouse the other night that it is getting harder and harder to stay with him. I told him that if and when I leave, it will be because of the way he treats me, with his distain, anger, blaming and treating me like a non person in this relationship.
@katecrosby7890
Ай бұрын
"Remember that you're normal" Really needed to hear this. My verbal tic is to say "I'm a real person" because my past convinced me there was no safety
@francisrey4945
5 ай бұрын
I been experiencing narcisstic abuse for a long period of time. I’m currently experiencing uncontrollable anger. Memories of of the abuse most of the time flashes back. This feeling makes me irritated, angry and if someone annoys me my anger explodes. I cant recall all the details of the abuse . I remember a few. But the feeling is always there. I’m feeling uncomfortable whenever the narcissist in the area. I’m getting angry deep inside hearing her voice and seeing her face . Did I develop an anger issue because of the narc abuse ? I feel guilty whever my anger explodes .
@hellosheillo
2 ай бұрын
This made me cry. Thank you for validating what I feel. It’s all bottled up for years and now I feel like it’s going to burst.
@julievdw6748
10 ай бұрын
Thank you. 7 years later and this video you have made still reaches out.
@TamiJo6708
6 ай бұрын
I feel ashamed of myself for letting myself become angry. I hold myself to such a high, unattainable standard. I can’t seem to give myself a break…I can sympathize with everyone else, I can give others a break, but for me, I just feel like it’s different for me. I can’t seem to get to that place.
@sheilagibson510
2 ай бұрын
I innerstand where your coming from! I finally have pushed beyond that point.....I'm 70.
@ShantiDawning
8 ай бұрын
Thank God for u I feel like I'm losing my mind And The pain and Anger Then Makes me feel Very bad Shamed Smh 😢 I don't wont to fight ever This hurts and seems Like they dont see me
@ErinFromZim
Жыл бұрын
Thank you 🙏🏻 I needed to hear this today especially.
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
Glad you found it helpful. For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
@zion8725
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. It is still being used by God 7 years later. 😊
@tinatynnie5594
Жыл бұрын
Exactly what am going through right now
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
Your emotions are valid. We hope you are getting the help you need to heal.
@tinatynnie5594
Жыл бұрын
He is my husband and my problem is how do i block him out still have sex with him without my feeling running after him again and being abused. Its really hard
@richellepeace4457
3 ай бұрын
But everyone blames us anyway. Even after you say enough they circle the wagons and force you. There is no safe place. Thank you for getting it, their are so few of you....
@emilyjohn2603
11 ай бұрын
I was told by my adviser that my outburst may have been normal, but that didn't make it healthy.
@emilyjohn2603
11 ай бұрын
I was told by my abuser that my outburst wasn't healthy.
@ambers.7407
Жыл бұрын
Dealing with this now. Started to feel crazy at one point. Now I know its because I am still working through those emotions. Although I do not rage at people, sometimes I lose my control to regulate those negative emotions but I am tired of holding it all in. Therapy isn't rly helping. Might need to find a different therapist.
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear you're not seeing the progress you would like. It does take some trial and error to find the right therapist for you, it's ok to switch
@JayMcCracken
Жыл бұрын
Needed to hear this. Amazing information! Thank you
@user-dt4by5cg1p
10 ай бұрын
We are separated. I left, he had the kids for one day. Just seeing him, I got so angry and frustrated out of the blue. Its been 4 hours and it seems like I there was this huge energy shift. My daughter that is 6 told me that I dont take good care of her... this is just after one day him being witg the kids. I am with them 95 % of the time. I feeel so frustrated. I feel like a need at least 5 years no contact in order not to have an reaction... he seems calm😢
@v4756nb1rs
3 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. It's only natural to be angry and full of rage about being so terribly mistreated and psychologically abused. My narc really enjoys pushing me to the point where I snap. Provoke and blame is a really ugly narc tactic.
@helensid6670
10 ай бұрын
I'm about to unburden my angry part with Internal Family System, this short video has helped me A Lot to be in my Self, with compassion and understanding. Thank you so much
@joyholtzhausen8976
Ай бұрын
Angry at the injustice of it all and angry that I still feel the loss of what it should (could) have been. No happy memories to look back on
@sandraanddelgray3180
5 ай бұрын
Thank you, I needed to hear someone say it.
@Dee47881
Жыл бұрын
I’m trying to give this to my son to deal with his abuser and putting it into the she/her context I just can’t. It will give her more power of their situation.
@FroggyFreg
Жыл бұрын
My mom is like that and I feel this way. But I still have 2 more years with her. I'm really angry all the time
@randymorgan8375
10 ай бұрын
I've been abused from my sister time and time again.. But something happen this summer and now I'm that coke can that's been kick down the street" and about to explode ...Im having nightmares about her I'm afraid if was to see her I would violently hurt her..and it's Frightened to me....
@1111OOOOI
2 ай бұрын
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
@bradtarrant2752
Жыл бұрын
Thanks Dr Hawkins Found this very helpful
@onavargas3490
13 күн бұрын
This was heaven sent God Bless & thank you so much
@angelannnavarro10
Жыл бұрын
Today I was a can of coke. A can of coke the size of a volcano....🙄
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
That's what happens when we suppress all the pain and hurt. This is where talk therapy, support groups and community can help.
@winonaburns1569
Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for your compassionate delivery. We were/are hurt in an ungodly way indeed 💗🫂 God bless you and take care
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for your comment and hope you found it helpful. For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
@christinec.2579
2 ай бұрын
Thank You. I needed to hear this
@randyshaw2706
Жыл бұрын
Do not refer to as (HER) this happens to members of the male species as well a lot more than you think.
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
We absolutely agree there are many cases where the women are emotionally abusive to men. Thanks for sharing
@keralytekid
Жыл бұрын
Thank you
@bradtarrant2752
Жыл бұрын
Going to draw a long bow after dealing with this for over 25years and only 49. It involves two cases. Step sister and mother of my daughter who is now my ex. My experience and research would suggest this is more of a female problem than male but certainly not black and white. Thanks
@crystalfelicia793
Жыл бұрын
ITS MORE COMMON TOWARDS WOMEN THO!
@juliandeville3806
Жыл бұрын
It’s common towards men though especially because men especially black men are taught to repress their feelings because if we express them we are threatened because the perpetrator does not feel safe
@lisapippinbt738
Жыл бұрын
This is the truth Amen! Thank You!
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for your comment
@CTHou13
9 ай бұрын
Please don’t say “her”. Men suffer the abuse of narcissistic discord too. I finally blew up and filed for divorce while the whole time he twisting my words and gaslighting me telling me I made up the last emotional abusive whole story/event up. He referenced an apology that never made it to my ears (I said I was sorry), then said it never happened. So, if it never happened what did you apologize for? The whole thing is sooooo twisted and confusing. It is hard to hold on to my reality - I have to remind myself that I was in the room when it happened. You telling me that it didn’t go down that way or not remembering it doesn’t change what happened.
@waterbottle2183
3 ай бұрын
Really helpful. Thank you so much.
@Bennettkel
Жыл бұрын
Very validating, thank you
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
Glad you found it helpful, thanks for your feedback!
@ambermarchand7079
10 ай бұрын
I just need to make plans behind the scenes that me and my daughter are trying to get done. My daughter has seen it through the years and i honestly have had enough.
@desireemccurdy3001
Жыл бұрын
Thank You
@2009jadeorchid
Жыл бұрын
the narc is in my house since the lock down same thing happened to my friend during the lock down for health sake we have to remove them make them move out or burying all this rightful rage will ruin our health since we are targets and the love bombed never see what happened the target being demeaned holds the most rage
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
Yes, suppressing feelings only causes more damage. Working through them with a counselor can help you heal. To learn how we can help, reach out to info@marriagerecoverycenter.com or book a free call with our Client Care Team: bit.ly/3I0dntB
@yellowdayz1800
11 ай бұрын
THANK YOU!!
@drdavidbhawkins
11 ай бұрын
You're welcome, hope you found it helpful.
@mikesmith6594
13 күн бұрын
I feel anger because my narcissistic father and hateful sister bring the worse out in me keep getting gaslit, played mind games with, told I'm just imagining things told I'm a Fuck up I'm just fed up with all the double standards , the gaslighting, the bullying , being treated less than or not good enough, the blame shifting, being violated 😢. My father doesn't take accountability for his harmful behavior he acts like he's mr.perfect .
@Patricia-nx1so
2 ай бұрын
Thank you
@edacheson8540
6 ай бұрын
I see again someone assuming the victim is a female. Super helpful, doc.
@2009jadeorchid
Жыл бұрын
best video ever!
@drdavidbhawkins
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for your feedback. For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletter to get helpful tips and advice delivered directly to your Inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
@Eniral441
10 ай бұрын
I'm so glad I heard this today. I tried to find something on this back when this was fresh for me and I didn't find it before. This happened to me. When it eventually dramatically lessened and I started to let my guard down a little, I got enraged and I couldn't figure out why. Why was I so angry at this person when the person hadn't done anything wrong (at that moment, at least)? Is what I kept asking myself. I held it in and kept it to myself... which was incredibly hard. I was afraid if I didn't, I would make things worse. If say something I'd regret or didn't mean, or worse- I'd innit the abusive cycle again. So I'd make quick trips to the store or fast food, or even to work, and I let it out when I was alone. BTW- I may have been angry before that point and just hadn't realized it until the abuse eased.
@AS004-xf4jc
Жыл бұрын
I wish I knew it 7 years ago 😔
@marygabaree622
Жыл бұрын
Thank you! ❤️🏆⭐️
@user-jr3rk8mn4k
2 ай бұрын
Devalued, dismissed, gaslighted, used.
@BostonSheryl
Жыл бұрын
TRUTH.
@sandy6660
Жыл бұрын
Great thoughts that people are only human.
@nobody86963
5 ай бұрын
Uplifted me to hear about this but immediately threw me down when i hear “her”. Please look at all the men that “erupt” throughout society and we do not even hesitate to ask if there is trauma or abuse we just punish. If woman erupts, everybody will rush to her aid to figure out what is making her like that.
@monaasmr2936
7 ай бұрын
My soul is burning in anger of abuse dunoo wat to.do
@palmamingozzi5736
Жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@ivadedeva7005
Жыл бұрын
Ungodly harm! 🙏
@suzannemartin6817
10 күн бұрын
Does this apply to if you don’t really see it for what it’s been until you’re in the middle of a divorce initiated by the other?
@kristinmeyer489
11 ай бұрын
This is why narcs come up with benign sounding names to shame their victims, such as the karen phenomenon. Don't like a woman you've baited too much? Call her a shaming name, and make a meme out of it!
@leilagomulka5690
Жыл бұрын
♥️♥️♥️awesomeness
@Xaxtarr_Neonraven
3 ай бұрын
Of course, this doesn't only happen to "she," but men aren't permitted emotional expression nor expected to be the abused. This too is ungodly harm.
@nobody86963
5 ай бұрын
Thanks Doctor. Please remember to include male victims. Do not assume its always females.
@Paula-om4xx
2 ай бұрын
I know but the majority of victims seem to be women. But you are right . No human being deserves to be treated disrespectfully. No one deserves to have their feelings or who they are in general, to be completely devalued or ignored. This is especially true when you are in a relationship where open, honest, direct and respectful communication should be the norm and not the exception ⚫️
@saimas6642
Жыл бұрын
This.
@leilagomulka5690
Жыл бұрын
Enough. Like the movie with Jennifer Lopez…
@mthedudecalo
4 ай бұрын
Dude wtf do you keep saying she and her...as if men dont go through the same thing.....15 years and 10 years married....everything was good untill the kids came along...then i started being controlled financially...then without me even noticing isolated from friends of 20 years...then belittled....and emotionally tortured for years....but would always cave very quickly....untill i finally went to a therapist and after a few months of me beating myself up and describing what was happening....he woke me up.....i was being controlled and emotionally abused for years...made to feel worthless..so I started to call her out on it....which was the biggest mistake of all....(well at the time anyway) because she knew how to start fights when I just wanted to heal our relationship....she would sit and yell and scream at me and id be telling her to calm down all the while losing more and more of my patience and self controll....then she would hit me with things I confided in her with about my parents and throw it in my face. .knowing full well it would cause me to finally get angry....then used that time to gaslighht and record when i was yelling... .lost all my personality which she also took advantage of....women do it too....and quite frankly they do it better and with more malice.....men are WAY more heavily affect by covert Narcs....because women dont have the expectation of being strong to attract a mate......because being with somone like that.....you have no strength left....no self confidence...nothing....and trust me it takes YEARS to build back Lets not even get into how she acted when it was just me and the kids compared to when we went to gatherings or public places together....night and day. And sometimes...she would belittle me so much on the car ride somewhere...make me angry sad and confused...and then when wed arrive she would hop out all happy and id be reeling inside and not able to hide the fact that the love of my life was hurting me so much
@jacquelynhaas8184
Ай бұрын
So very sorry you went through this.. I am currently enduring it as well in my 8 year relationship..I am treated horrifically almost daily and sometimes wish I was dead.. I'm trying to find some sort of job but am literally trapped in this house ...if I didn't have my cat I would go mad. He is the only thing keeping me going. When I look at that little face every day I know I have a responsibility to care for him regardless. I know it sounds pathetic. I am just so utterly tired and sad most of the time . God bless you Sir and again I'm very sorry that you have to go through that .😢❤
@upstatenewyork
Жыл бұрын
sprawled out in a bed?
@grawakendream8980
Жыл бұрын
abused or not, rage is never acceptable. that's an emotional self-regulation issue with the person they need to work on. no support system is going to supplant the humility required in not acting out your anger on others, imo
@cassiebennet4262
Жыл бұрын
You are completely clueless.
@drchandanasahay9682
Жыл бұрын
You would never say this if u went through narcissistic abuse , which i pray u never go through, please dont judge without being in the same shoes , its hurtful
@grawakendream8980
Жыл бұрын
@@drchandanasahay9682 it's not hurtful. distress isn't danger. we don't know each other, you are projecting your insecurities on to me
@drchandanasahay9682
Жыл бұрын
What u r saying is true for normal people and situations but its different with narcissists , im sorry if i projected my insecurity on to u but i really know the difference because i have been through it in childhood , u really have to go through it to actually understand what i m saying , but i know what kind of a hell it is so i dont wish it on u🌹
@drchandanasahay9682
Жыл бұрын
@@grawakendream8980 its hurtful when you just dont give consideration to someone's pain without even knowing about it well, people who have been through it have a different nervous system than the normal healthy ones
@robertafierro5592
Жыл бұрын
Crap
@O12345Dan
8 жыл бұрын
I just exploded again tonight :( of course, he run's with that...after gaslighting me to begin with...... I'm one of those flight or fight people...I finally just blow up.
@serenityfields7514
8 жыл бұрын
Yes, Ive got it bad...... Its on and off I was hating myself for it today and then I just stopped. Stopped hating myself for it. I told myself basically what you just said, but being alone it felt not as validated as it was validated NOW. Thank You !!!!!
@polskigirl8547
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you Dr. Hawkins...you are a blessing....
@drdavidbhawkins
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you!!!
@1111emmy
8 жыл бұрын
Renata says it so well. Dr. Hawkins, you really are an amazing blessing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. With this kind of affirmation, this validation, we are able to make the difficult choices in life that are necessary. It is unbelievably empowering.
@doctorcool29
8 жыл бұрын
I like your videos so much and i follow them all the time.Thank you so much.What bothers me is you always make the assumption that the abuser is the man.
@drdavidbhawkins
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your insights!
@StevenWoodMusic
8 жыл бұрын
+David Hawkins your reply sounded pretty narcissistic
@doctorcool29
8 жыл бұрын
+swoodmusic I totally agree with you swoodmusic.I thought his reply was condescending and patronizing.Thank you for validating my view.
@AgagsMoments
8 жыл бұрын
why is the assumption in most of your videos referring to the narcissist as of a male gender. Isnt this generalizing?
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