After I worked in a fertility clinic I never ask people why they haven't had children yet. Sometimes it may be that they just don't want any and that's cool too.
@LingandLamb
Жыл бұрын
Exactly! It’s crazy and shocking how small minded people are. Some can’t or don’t want to have any! It’s not rocket science 😮
@JustChiVlog
Жыл бұрын
And you know children comes with a lot of responsibility that you must have to be prepared to face. I mean I have seen cats destroy a lovely relationship on tv. Because the man get to clean shit a lot because the woman is nagging him, you're not being supportive.. because of a cat 😂😂😂😂
@lilli798
Жыл бұрын
@@toochukwuowoh606 you're actually very weird for this comment. It's the fact that you feel entitled enough to tell a stranger that you think it's time to have kids. Who are you to tell a person you don't know to have kids? You're a Nigerian so I'm not surprised at your lack of boundaries. You don't even know if they're ready for kids or not. Talmabout "if your parents thought this way they wouldn't have had you" . And that would have been very fine . It's not as if the kids that were not born are missing anything special. When you have to go as far as emotionally blackmailing people to have kids, you should know that there's something wrong.
@factsandopinions577
Жыл бұрын
@@toochukwuowoh606 of course you are nigerian
@zed5768
Жыл бұрын
Just live your lives. Having kids or not, your choice to make. I have learnt that if we make a right choice, we enjoy the success the most. If we make a wrong choice, we suffer the consequences the most. It's yours to decide. Pls yourselves, not others. In as much as you don't see yourselves in nearest future wishing you had kids earlier, just ride on. Blessings❤❤🎉🎉
@viktoriiaukraine
Жыл бұрын
We are Nigerian 🇳🇬 Ukrainian 🇺🇦couple, Our story is different, you never know how your life might turn, we decided we were ready to have a child financially and mentally, but when war in Ukraine started we lost everything, just after leaving the country we discovered we are going to be parents, now our child is our joy and happiness and somehow he is helping to go through this rough time and pushing us to continue moving and living the new life that we didn’t even choose but was forced to. God bless you beautiful couple ❤️
@lawreenmkado8307
Жыл бұрын
Sending love ❤❤❤❤
@michealohunyon175
Жыл бұрын
This is soooo inspiring. God bless your family.
@chantalgafan8502
Жыл бұрын
Sending ❤and hugs 🫂
@ketlinelouis2669
Жыл бұрын
I am with you guys, good advice, now it's time go for the child and more now.
@pusep132
Жыл бұрын
Y
@SippiGirl_256
Жыл бұрын
People should mind their business when it comes to this topic.
@0728brown
Жыл бұрын
I will never understand why people feel entitled to know this.
@benjaminayemloharuna2772
Жыл бұрын
Pls, it's really annoying when they do. It's definitely not their business.
@SippiGirl_256
Жыл бұрын
Men and women have all sorts of fertility related issues, financial issues, etc. It's just something where people need to shut their mouths.
@SippiGirl_256
Жыл бұрын
I chose to not have kids. I love living my life freely without worrying about whether or not someday I'll have to choose to pay mortgage or feed my kid, you know. It's personal.
@tendowinny1102
Жыл бұрын
If you have put your life out to the public eye,for everyone to mind and watch. What do you expect??? People will ask
@kimmysserenity4693
Жыл бұрын
My husband and I decided that we wanted to be married two years and finish our house before we started to have kids. When we started to try I had three miscarriages it was something that we kept private. People keep asking every time they see us when we having kids it would eat at me and it send me into depression. One Mother’s Day they had me help giving out the gifts at church and I just breakdown. God finally bless us with a daughter and the journey was traumatic. I had to stitch my baby in so as not to have a fourth miscarriage. I flatlined after the surgery almost didn’t wake up and in the delivery room the nurse was paging the doctor and no one turned up so both of us delivered her and I got 42 stitches. My baby was in the nicu for one week with an infection in the navel. Now persons asking when I am giving her a sibling I am sick of it. I still have anxiety from my experience. People need to normalize staying out of people reproductive business.
@ramoah300
10 ай бұрын
You and your family are in my prayers 🙏🏾
@lounasampson1359
9 ай бұрын
I’m glad you made it through. God bless you and your family.
@veronicaglouster1713
9 ай бұрын
you are also allow to cuss them out as well and tell them back off
@diamondz4lfye313
9 ай бұрын
I agree. You never know what people are going through and asking them about why they haven’t had children or more children may definitely trigger ptsd, anxiety or depression. We have to be cautious of that.
@veronicaglouster1713
8 ай бұрын
@@TriciaPerry-ef7bi yes.. this new age of sparing feeling and lying to persons who behave badly and letting them sit is is damaging to other. I have a lot of bad behaving christians in my life. Ams sick of you all
@trideanalenard7694
6 ай бұрын
I had kids 2 years after being married at age 21.. Here we are age 42 with a 21 year old girl and 18 year old boy with both my kids in college. Now at age 42 we are empty nesters living life with young adults kids who are my absolute joy. Talking with them everyday, helping them make decisions. Walking them through situations and seeing them flourish into adults is a DREAM COME TRUE. My husband and I wasnt rich. We was rich in love, care, nurturing and my kids fell perfectly into our lives. My only regret is not having more.
@sanjapkoki
Жыл бұрын
My wife and I had same excuses when we were your age. Now we are in our 70s and it's our biggest regret. We always thought there'll be a better time but that time never came. She's now dying of cancer and her only wish is that of a child she never had. Goodluck to you both. Thanks for sharing your story.
@csslkft6517
Жыл бұрын
So very sorry to hear
@jewelranu
Жыл бұрын
😢
@ibielaamaso3054
Жыл бұрын
So sorry to hear this. Sending love
@LovelyQn
Жыл бұрын
😢
@comfortadatang2594
Жыл бұрын
😢I pray for God’s healing hands upon your wife.
@Biddyyyy
10 ай бұрын
My husband and I have been married 7 years and no kids. I used to cry about it all the time because I felt I was supposed to being pressured by societal norms. Once I realized and accepted that it’s not up to me but the lord and that not having kids are okay too. I am no longer upset about it Plus I love my freedom❤
@tuka24a
9 ай бұрын
I understand you. I always wanted to be a mum.Then I have been working hard to build my career and now I have a partner who is supportive.However, I am happy without babies and life is much easier. I am not sure if my partner is ready for a child. He is sooo selfish that I wonder if we would give up a bit from himself to care for another human being. I don’t want to be a full care parent like my mum was. She had a husband who was too busy drinking to look after their own child. My partner doesn’t drink but I am not sure if he will be ready.Babies are for life.😢
@benban8055
9 ай бұрын
So say that you will concieve, believe it and DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THIS SUBJECT and it will happen. Matter of fact, you will be astonished at how instant it will be.
@Biddyyyy
9 ай бұрын
@@tuka24a yes it’s a huge commitment and babies change everything. I always hope for the best though 🫶🏾
@Biddyyyy
9 ай бұрын
@@benban8055 to be honest it would be a blessing yet terrifying to say the least lol
@KingdomWithin7
9 ай бұрын
Damn when you said it wasn't up to you but the Lord's is amazing! Good on ya🙏🏼💯
@lenoreprovidence7720
Жыл бұрын
My thought process was always, we will never be “fully ready”. Also fertility at an older age is no walk in the park. It doesn’t get easier it gets harder. Also I had older parents and I wanted to be younger when my kids hit their 20’s…in my fifties, young enough to enjoy my child as they become men and women and young enough to run around with my grandchildren in a way I didn’t get to!with my kids cause my kids had to be cared by someone else will I worked my 9 to 5 job. My prayer is that when you decide the time is right you still can have them😊
@ziwagwatidzo9520
Жыл бұрын
" I dont want to repeat the mistakes of my parents" . True. Alot of people have inhaled childhood trauma. Its a genuine concern for those who think deeply
@winienyaga4491
Жыл бұрын
Me too am 34 yrs financially stable but still afraid,my friends tell me you getting old,deep down I know what I went through in my childhood. So let them talk
@ziwagwatidzo9520
Жыл бұрын
@@winienyaga4491 it can be a difficult process as a female. You may like the idea of parenthood then life fears sink In
@phiaasupremacy
Жыл бұрын
Frr
@ZainarDavid
Жыл бұрын
That's me ...I don't want to repeat my parents'mistakes
@mireillekwesele7928
Жыл бұрын
It's good to discuss kids before marriage. My husband and I dated for 3 yrs before marriage we used to discuss how many kids we will have and we agreed for me to stay home and raise the kids until the last one will go to school full time. That's what happened ecxately! As soon as we married we wanted kids right away😂 bcs we were both prepared mentally. God bless me with a fantastic husband this year 29 yrs together. Our baby is 22 yrs old. Marriage is beautiful if you find the right one. Thank you for this topic to educate young ones out there.
@cattyreals572
Жыл бұрын
Congratulations 😊😊😊.. I pray nothing comes between you two❤❤
@3dand2dartschannel11
9 ай бұрын
May God bless your family
@justifiedcrown9669
10 ай бұрын
A lot of ladies that usually comment on their videos want this kind of marriage. The truth is none of them would have given him a chance like she did. He didn’t have a job, and was struggling. Most of you already met that great guy, but overlooked him. 🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️
@tammypdailey
10 ай бұрын
This was the most honest discussion regarding when to bring a child into the world. ❤❤❤
@idailunga2346
Жыл бұрын
You’re right! People will always put pressure on you but will never help you financially. People don’t care about your struggles but like to criticize.
@MsSmartiC
Жыл бұрын
Solid advice L&L
@Wheezy62120
Жыл бұрын
That part!!! I’ve been with my fiancé for 3 years, and everyone is asking …. When is the wedding? When are the babies coming? We’re like Jeez. Can we decide when, what, where, and how ??? Give him a chance to ask me FIRST!!!Plus, I don’t hear any of our family or friends sending us financial assistant. 🙆🏽♀️😜😏 Like marriage and babies are stressful enough, and they both require a monetary foundation. When WE are ready we’ll definitely let everyone know
@shielamajoriemusongeowori
Жыл бұрын
Thank you am here with 1 children these womb watchers keep asking for number to.. am like mind the business that pays u.. not a single 1 has ever offered any kind of help...it's not like I need it but the thought counts... nothing not even to check on the baby.
@_trust9994
Жыл бұрын
@@shielamajoriemusongeowori Other than for medical reasons, women who don't want kids are selfish, Lets just call a spade a spade (Ohh I dont want to lose my shape, eww I dont want to wake up 02am changing diapers or breastfeeding, Ohh I dont want to deal with stress, Ohh I'm a career driven women ... etc).
@ldenisedavis
Жыл бұрын
Amen to that!
@ruthmuma8693
Жыл бұрын
Nothing is guaranteed. Happiness is far beyond what humans have defined it. To me, it's in Christ. Not kids, husband, jobs, parents, siblings,money. Nothing of the things I didn't bring to this world. I'm learning to live life with joy from within. Thank you for sharing ❤.
@preciousfires5088
Жыл бұрын
"Nothing of the things I didn't bring to this world", it's in Christ. Perfectly said. I love this
@accordingtothebiblewithl-nv1ku
9 ай бұрын
That's the Secret. Jesus is the key to happiness .
@oreolubukola998
9 ай бұрын
Love this in particular.🙌🙇
@danielahiaba6748
Жыл бұрын
Ling and Lamb, thanks for this very important conversation. When i got married in 2016, me and my wife was determined to spend quality times together so that we can get to know each other and form the strongest bond of friendship, build our own business buy a property and then have at least 1 child. We had 2 beautiful sofa like yours. We finally had our only child in 2020 during Covid lockdown. We are so happy that we waited and build a strong relationship first and now we both have time for ourselves and our baby boy. Many people do not know about our goals, they criticize and pressure us but we just kept silent and live our lives on our own terms. My son travelled aboard an airplane when he was just 8months old but me his father boarded my first flight @ 23yrs of age. Guys do not repeat the mistakes of your parents. Love you guys. Keep these kind of conversations coming.♥♥♥♥♥
@shakiraebikam3010
10 ай бұрын
I'm married to an Igbo man. And his mindset is totally different. We didn't have our first child until 7 years after marriage. And that's because he didn't want to follow the norm of his culture by having children right away after marriage, he wanted to build himself so that when We both decided to have children, he wouldn't have to stress or worry too much about them. So please do what you guys feel is right and don't follow anyone else, When you guys are ready to have children do it on your terms not on anybody else's terms.❤❤❤
@charissebrown6079
Жыл бұрын
You both speak with great wisdom & maturity. ❤
@shepherdmudimu6447
Жыл бұрын
Lamb is very philosophical and intelligent when not fooling around, it's a side of his I didn't know
@Jayscomic
Жыл бұрын
Lamb is full of sheet. His wife is getting older and he is playing
@Theheavenly1
Жыл бұрын
@@Jayscomic shut up..
@alicehaywood7763
9 ай бұрын
@@Jayscomic Do expand please...
@Gigi-14
Жыл бұрын
Having children is an extremely serious decision. It changes your life forever and puts you in the position of providing for another’s safety and happiness. Take your time and do what makes you happy. Love you guys ❤
@Jooniebug
Жыл бұрын
It's one of the most difficult decisions to make. Women don't have time like men.
@TRACEYMACHIO_1
Жыл бұрын
@@Jooniebug I dont think it is. People just overthink things like wanting a perfect time, most times there isn’t that perfect time and when you think it’s perfect time you are old.
@Jooniebug
Жыл бұрын
@TRACEY MACHIO I agree with you. There's no perfect time but I think people need to think and ensure parenthood is what they want. Then again she should be careful as a woman as we don't have that much time cos Al pacino will be a dad at 83 and Robert de Niro is a dad at 79
@ogechicharis3926
11 ай бұрын
Totally agree with you
@diamond_kendra
Жыл бұрын
I have always loved this two but this convo literally made me love them more. People don’t talk about the pressure of needing to “have kids” when you are married. I would rather get to know and spend time with my husband to be honest. Then, if God let’s it happen, it happens and we are ready between us. The pressure is just not necessary. I STAND BEHIND THIS TOPIC CUZ THIS IS EXACTLY HOW ME AND MY FIANCÉ FEEL! Love you guys Ling &Lamb❤❤❤❤
@Mariekomax02
11 ай бұрын
I had a child when I was in college and working. When I say be careful who you have kids with… be careful!!!!!! I knew my child’s father since 5th grade. The person I thought I knew since childhood, today I can’t even face him and smile. Sadly…. I loveeee and would do anything for my child. Glad I only have 1 child. But it is HARD. Everyone’s experiences are different. And also me and him were together and lived together for some years but all of that went down the drain. Having a child will show people’s true colors that you were blinded by…
@AHarewood
Жыл бұрын
You guys have brought up so many valid points. There are so many grandparents raising their grandchildren because their children could not handle what they were not ready for!
@iheomaeze5170
Жыл бұрын
God bless you for writing this. You're so right
@marian7564
Жыл бұрын
Correct !
@ericabelcher8760
Жыл бұрын
YES! And Aunties & Uncle's too! I've had my nephew since he was an infant & he's 12 now! Neither one of his parents are able to be involved in his life, so I had to step all the way up! Its been extremely difficult to say the least but I love him with everything I have! Im trying so hard to give him the very best!❤🙏
@Gracednsaved
Жыл бұрын
@@ericabelcher8760 hmmm, so true. They call it family bonding and helping out but seriously, bottom line is pushing your responsibilities on others. Can't imagine foisting my kids on others.....
@ericabelcher8760
Жыл бұрын
@Gracefully Saved True! It's been exhausting, honestly! But I'd rather have him than foster care! I'm not saying there aren't SOME good ppl in the system, but the statistics of the opposite are too high. But I definitely hear you, though! Smh
@Habibtay
Жыл бұрын
As much as i feel like it's none of anyone's business to meddle in your personal lives, this is a very much needed and necessary conversation to have. "Never make love to a girl you can not accept a child from" 👏🏾👏🏾 if only more fathers could teach that to their sons.
@maapat1431
Жыл бұрын
I agree with you 💯 👍 👌..it's not taught hence the many single mothers in our communities
@paulnwazor588
Жыл бұрын
Sage you're correct. That's also a huge part of it
@HayWhy_Pappy
10 ай бұрын
@@ArcanesageAh. Nice response. I see how she try to push it to the man without being accountable. Damn.
@MrEvansjethro
9 ай бұрын
My wife and I have 5 kids. We both come from poor families. However, we're the most successful people in our families. We live in the suburbs and our 3 kids go to best schools. Moreover, we're the only ones in our families who have many kids. Financial success is a matter of mindset and determination. Unfortunately, with some people enough could never be enough until it's too late. Also, we should know that for woman, conception has an expiry date.
@FatterThanBeyounce
9 ай бұрын
Thats right. cause when the kids are tricky if you try and time their entry into this world.
@kirabogloria2187
8 ай бұрын
Thank you....u are totally ryt
@Regentvoice24
8 ай бұрын
Absolutely and time flies and doesn’t wait for anyone 😂🤣😂.
@karimballo6737
8 ай бұрын
Agree
@ELmalano
8 ай бұрын
This is the best comment. But if there is fertility issues, God will have mercy if we believe.
@alexi-matthewjohnson4472
Жыл бұрын
Ogbeni!; if I no like you before, rest assured your primary answer took me over. You be correct human being! God bless your wife too! You guys need to spread that lesson, to the white, black or whatever colors are out there.
@reneeburchall9015
Жыл бұрын
People will always try to rush you into marriage, then when you’re married it’s when are you having a baby, you have a baby then it’s when you giving the child a brother or sister. You can’t win. Have kids when you’re ready and if you choose not to have kids, that’s fine. Own YOUR truth and people just need to mind their own business. Thanks for sharing with us.❤
@julietkaunda9600
Жыл бұрын
You nailed it😂That's exactly what they say it never ends
@Passion84GodAlways
Жыл бұрын
AMEN!
@pamelawilliams6147
Жыл бұрын
Preach Renee, that's the truth and nothing but the truth. Ling and Lamb broke it down very nicely. I really love ❤ and admire this beautiful couple. 💑 May God continue to bless them. 🙌
@HayWhy_Pappy
10 ай бұрын
You can't win. Holy crap. Thank you.
@otillearathanase33
Жыл бұрын
Spot on Ling and Lamb 👏🏾👏🏾. You have made some extremely valid points here. One that resonates with me is the insensitivity of some people in their asking. Its like you owe it to them to procreate. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 yrs and God has not yet blessed us with children...yet people still ask "when are you going to have a child"... I give the same answer as Ling 😂😂..we are each other's baby...so funny Ling and Lamb 😂. Blessings to you both, you will have a baby when you are ready🙏🏾❤️
@FrankyDikey
Жыл бұрын
Like the scriptures say, "It's not good that the man should be a alone. I will make a mate suitable for him". Gen 2:18 This scripture from Genesis shows that the basic need of marriage is companionship. Children are the fruits.
@ndeupewa
Жыл бұрын
I don’t think getting a child you are ever “prepared” in the sense that you don’t know what toll a kid will take on you either as a mom or dad. Especially for first time parents, you desire to have a child and you are well aware that this little human will change your life forever, but how that change will be I don’t think anyone is ever prepared because you learn on the job…there is no blueprint. Blessings to you guys 👊🏾
@clairedavis8564
11 ай бұрын
Omg, whatever works for you❤Children have also been known to destroy relationships. Both people have to be utterly mature, willing and ready. Don’t rush it guys.
@tifanywilliams3654
Жыл бұрын
You guys hit the nail on the head. You have to get your foundation together first. My husband and I waited 8+ years before we had our daughter. It was the GREATEST decision we could have ever made for our family. Once you have a child, EVERYTHING changes.
@tifanywilliams3654
Жыл бұрын
@@christopherl.2593 say it again for the people in the BACK!!!
@_trust9994
Жыл бұрын
@@tifanywilliams3654 Other than for medical reasons, women who don't want kids are selfish, Lets just call a spade a spade (Ohh I dont want to lose my shape, eww I dont want to wake up 02am changing diapers or breastfeeding, Ohh I dont want to deal with stress, Ohh I'm a career driven women ... etc).
@ilovesunflowersunny2098
Жыл бұрын
@@_trust9994 nothing wrong with being selfish. I can't believe you are trying to shame women by calling them selfish🤣 Always me first!😬 u sound dusty🤪
@tedradxnn7872
Жыл бұрын
@@_trust9994 am a 10000% ok with being selfish and more women should be OK with that too...there's no way in hell imma wake up at 2 am to change a shitty diaper or worry about my figure because of a baby and if that makes me or any woman that decides to not have kids a bad person then so be it😊
@solomonobihan9465
Жыл бұрын
If you grew up in Africa, where kids basically determine your standard of living in your old age, you would have very radically different view. But I understand where you are coming from, and the peculiarities of your environment. You would probably end up in a nursing home when you are old, with or without kids. So what's the point?
@elizawangui2970
Жыл бұрын
This thing of bringing kids into poverty is not cool. Be financially, emotionally and spiritually ready to take care of a kids life with the right partner all together. I feel you lamb and am just like you.
@collenwalton2409
Жыл бұрын
I agree with you, real talk
@angelathompson1733
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing . My husband and I I waited 2 yrs after marriage and that was not long enough . I loved those 2 yrs spending time together but once the 3 kids came over the next 6 years , it was so hard because he didn’t change diapers. He didn’t feed any babies, and I got left a lot at home . Before I could pack a bag and just run with him.. this would’ve been a good video for me to see when I was younger. They’re all grown up and doing fine.
@coka306
10 ай бұрын
That was a great conversation. Being a foreigner, married with no kids. My husband and I get a lot of questions.
@darrickwhite1986
Жыл бұрын
I love that you two are enjoying each other's company and relationship building before children.
@dikeleditlou2763
Жыл бұрын
Lamb , for an African man i respect your vulnerability and also how much of a visionary you have been in building yourself up and to see how honest you are about waiting to have children. You did not allow yourself to be moved by outside pressure or ego. You are a darling and you and you wife are a blessing and such a joy to watch.
@anneokpi3120
Жыл бұрын
You penned down my thoughts...for an African man to be this vulnerable is a rarity. He's a good man
@monicamay2450
Жыл бұрын
I agree
@mrymmusa8231
Жыл бұрын
Very true ….and what most African men don’t know is vulnerability commands more respect than just frowning face and bossing around…..just see how much the wife loves and respects him after been vulnerable
@edwinngong6217
Жыл бұрын
Unequivocal truth❤
@vivicaanuforo4754
Жыл бұрын
Omo he is truly rare and humble. I thank God for sending him Ling too cos it could have ended up differently if she were a wrong and toxic woman. He is blessed
@MimiMimi-hc3uo
5 ай бұрын
I applaud this couple and love them… for opening up in a respectful way but talking it all !!! This is being responsible not only with your bodies, but with emotions. Soooooo many times people irresponsibly bring kids without being honest about this topic, I know people that had a child because they wonder what it would look like, they don’t want to be alone when they older, because everyone is having kids, etc This is a very delicate decision and yes some people don’t want kids for many reasons. Could they regret it maybe or can this be great for them.. who knows
@nyakanga
5 ай бұрын
I applaud them too for being real and giving reasons of what people should think about before bringing innocent kids into this world.
@denises9680
Жыл бұрын
This is the 3rd time writing my comment 😊. My husband and I have been together for 28 years. We made sure we got to know each other when we first met and children were not even on the agenda. We travelled, spent time together, did things that we wouldn't have done if we had children. We both had great careers. I was a nurse my husband his own business. We are each other's best friend and we don't need anyone else. The day we got married that was the first thing people were asking and we just laughed because we thought "let us enjoy married life!) It's the norm I guess. But it's been 28 years as I said and we've been through some hard times and we've got through them and we would put it down to how well we know each other. There's no rush for anyone. We wasn't using any protection but when the time was right, we became pregnant. Stop " licking" his new music 😂😂😂 love you both so much ❤❤ sending love from London UK xx 🇬🇧🙏🏼🙏🏼
@trevormulo9130
Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@denises9680
Жыл бұрын
@@trevormulo9130 😂😂😂
@octaviadickson3218
Жыл бұрын
Look at you both,it's all about love.Enjoy your marriage with or without children.❤
@dutchigirl
Жыл бұрын
Whether or not you have children, or when or how many, is NOT of anybody's business. I consider that extremely rude to ask. Once a couple has one child, a week after childbirth people will pressure to 'start' a second child, because they say an only child will be lonely, then when you have three children, many will say stop etc etc. You can never please everybody, even they expect you to. You have a very balanced and wise view on this matter. Love you guys
@adeolawalsh7240
Жыл бұрын
This is so true. I remembered having my 2nd and the nurse asked me when would you have your 3rd😐
@DayoA1
Жыл бұрын
Yes, it is very rude! They are so polite for answering, I would not have!
@zznb2t
11 ай бұрын
This video is a Perfect Explanation, to Mind Your Own Business ... Do You ... All decisions aren't for everyone ... I've seen ppl, pressured ... "Rush To Have" ... most times, it Backfire ... Then run guilt, if you don't help ... Great Video ...
@st.cjn25
8 ай бұрын
One of my few favourite online couple is LING AND LAMB. I tell whoever cares to listen, "I want only one child because I still have my life to live..." Having kids is a whole lottt. Dear Lord, life is amazing! God bless you both.
@Thedanniels
Жыл бұрын
Solid conversation full of wisdom.
@babiidehen3699
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely 👍 I hope young people are listening to you on this topic, God bless your marriage and home forevermore 🙏
@bettiesherry9508
Жыл бұрын
With or without babies you guys are just simply the best
@optimalscore
Жыл бұрын
Better than all the rest! Sorry I couldn't help myself 😂
@hfvckfsingh6544
Жыл бұрын
For me it is the way he looks at her when she speaks, no matter what words come out of her mouth,,,,, he listens..
@marshallcarter3282
Жыл бұрын
U said it all
@astoldbyolly
11 ай бұрын
I was interested in listening to this because as a woman you sometimes hear about people talking about your ticking biological clock but that hasn’t phased me. I vowed to have children only when I’ve raised myself and am financially secure/stable
@mrs.amcmac6206
Жыл бұрын
Let’s normalize not asking couples this question. Mainly, because it’s no one’s business and the answer has absolutely no impact on anyone else’s life! I admire you two for being aligned in your stance. That’s part of what makes you two great for one another! I’m two years in and as someone who desperately wanted children but can’t have them, it’s infuriating and heartbreaking to be asked. I pray you two continue to seek Gods direction for your life. Keep living and loving on your terms! 💕💕💕
@fionay2014
Жыл бұрын
Exactly
@siennamiller50
Жыл бұрын
I have so much respect for this couple and their transparency
@livingkalimanjira1924
9 ай бұрын
You're right, guys. Bringing a life into this crazy world is a decision that shouldn't be made lightly or based of other people's expectations. It's just like marriage itself. Don't get married because everyone of your generation is doing it at a certain age. You have to be ready to want to get married and/or have kids. Thank you for sharing your perspective on this very important subject. Much love to both of you
@kingsleyobinna9408
Жыл бұрын
Such an inspiration. Thank you for this. Checking off your list and setting priorities. I got that
@doriceossai6105
Жыл бұрын
You guys do what works for you. My husband and I waited 6 years before we had children. We really got to know each other well. So it's no ones business. Jesus is Real ❤️
@nihinlolaeuniceolowe
Жыл бұрын
Yesterday a man asked me how the kids were. I replied to him by asking where did he see kids. He responded by saying God will answer your prayer. Within me am like, what is wrong with people and their lack of ability to respect boundaries? This is even a total stranger I don't know, and I am not even married. Imagine!
@hopechika6324
11 ай бұрын
Really???
@Lifewithoutborders24
10 ай бұрын
😅😅😅😅
@Elohoralago
10 ай бұрын
Lol very funny
@Lekanpourtout
10 ай бұрын
Just know that the automatic assumption of any Nigerian elder when they see "a man of age" is that they're seriously praying for a child in their family. Pressure po! 🤣🤣
@abimbolankwuo359
9 ай бұрын
😅😅😅😅😅😂😂😂
@agnesopara8865
Жыл бұрын
Proud of you guys for directing your own course in life. It's important. You guys rock
@lovelylady4938
Жыл бұрын
I respect you guys so much! Thanks for sharing!
@xyPERSON
Жыл бұрын
Ling and Lamb you are both good people and when the time is right you will be good parents. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into making that decision. Children are a blessing but also a huge responsibility and not for everyone. You really did not even have to explain your reasoning for not having children yet but doing so shows your appreciation for your followers and subscribers.
@Apostylicpoet
Жыл бұрын
I’m 38, not married and want kids right away. However, the point you made about having a solid foundation with your spouse spoke to me the most! I used to say I want to enjoy my marriage before kids, which I still do, but getting on the same page with your partner is top tier! Thank you for this honest conversation. Y’all are so funny!
@cumiletababes8347
Жыл бұрын
I'm 38 too. Growing up I ve always wished to enjoy my husband first before considering kids. So I totally agree with you lovely couple. Well well i'm yet to find him and once I do. I'm definitely having kids right away as our eggs don't give us the luxury of waiting till we are ready. Wishing you nothing but love and happiness ❤
@cumiletababes8347
Жыл бұрын
Definitely no time to check time 😁 Its happening soon
@janettejackson146
Жыл бұрын
Great content. So true but please don't wait until over 45 . Not fair to the child. When the kid is 20 you will be over 60. Not xool
@cumiletababes8347
Жыл бұрын
@@janettejackson146 it will happen soon by God's Grace.
@denisebentick8905
Жыл бұрын
This is between the two of you, do not let anyone make this decision for you or pressure you into making this decision
@mrs.m5183
10 ай бұрын
He is so grounded!! He even thinks better then her, and although he speaks a different English he was clear and she didn’t understand.
@twanany
9 ай бұрын
I look forward in seeing how far you guys go. U guys inspire me!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@smoochy2919
Жыл бұрын
Your reasons for waiting to start a family are so valid, and relevant. I did not have my son until I was 30 years old. I had been in my career for 10 years at that point. I was financially secure, and so was my husband. Even with all the financial security, health insurance, etc. We still struggled! We didn’t want our son with a babysitter or in daycare, therefore we had to change to opposite shifts to have someone home with him always. We literally handed him off to each other at work. Me a registered nurse working nights. My husband a physician’s assistant working during the day. It was not easy. My parents had 5 of us. We’re from 🇬🇾. My mom would literally have one of us and drop us off in Guyana with my grandparents, while they built a life for us in the US. When I was 10, they brought us from Guyana to permanently live in the US. We lived a good life as children. But, they worked hard to provide it. I can’t even imagine having so many kids in these times. Grandparents work. They have lives. Most don’t want to be babysitting grandchildren. Most can’t afford that luxury. Times are different now. Take your time. This is a lifetime commitment. My son is our only child. We didn’t want to do it again. People told us we were selfish for only having one child. But, we don’t care. Our son has the best of everything. We are content with having just one child. Do what makes sense to you. Disregard what people have to say.
@ericabelcher8760
Жыл бұрын
Omg!! My family is from Guyana as well. My grandparents had 10 total & literally did the same as you mentioned! In the sense of trying to get a better life in the US. My grandparents brought half over here & then had to send for the other 5, once they could afford it. They were staying with different relatives or ppl they knew from church groups. Man the stories I heard growing up from my mother, Uncle's & aunts, its just sooo difficult knowing all the pain & trauma they experienced! I definitely understand what you're talking about! I rarely see Guyanese ppl on here! Thank you for sharing love! Praying for the very best for you & your family!❤🙏🇬🇾
@theanswersisinsideu
Жыл бұрын
Mine did the same 8 children 🇬🇾
@annettewilliams4681
Жыл бұрын
I’m happy for you..I have 1 daughter n she’s amazing.. I work 2 jobs to put her thru college and she always spoils me
@ericabelcher8760
Жыл бұрын
@Annette Williams Thats really sweet love!❤️
@ankank2990
Жыл бұрын
Amazing, I’m also from 🇬🇾 Im in my early 30s, divorced… people always asked why I don’t have kids but financially it is a struggle & things weren’t going well in my marriage with a cheating partner. God willing I hope I can have at least one some day.
@jenniferj1372
Жыл бұрын
Thank you all sooo much for having this discussion! My husband and I are still judged for not having children by now or you're going to be too old and all of that foolishness. People need to mind their business and let people make the decision to have children when they are ready whether they are young or older.
@tasha3939
Жыл бұрын
💯
@sharon6981
Жыл бұрын
I think people who have kids may be concerned out of love. Some people just go about it the wrong way. It’s physically harder to keep up with babies and young kids when you’re older. But at the same time, you’re not financially stable in your early 20s. It’s honestly a give and take. Do what works for you though.
@jenniferj1372
Жыл бұрын
@sharon6981 There are people who are older and keep up with their children very well, sometimes better than a person in their 20s. There are other cultures that women are not judged if they have babies in their 40s or 50s. It's not even an issue. They support each other, which should be done here. Most importantly, God's plan for everyone's life is different. When it is to be, it will be. No one, even out of love, should question anyone about when they will have children. There may be issues or problems they don't want to discuss. They may not have any issues and don't feel like they owe anyone an explanation. It's a personal question and should not be asked.
@aleciaburch3251
10 ай бұрын
I love that they are having this conversation. Just last week I had to explain to someone that I will not be having any kids because mother and father (and their relatives) were horrible individuals and parents. He is spot on....they have kids like going to the store and buying bread. I will never bring a child into this world
@chefritakitchen5298
9 ай бұрын
Thank you guys so much, I learned a lot, God protection over you and family 🙏🏻
@tyara.collins
Жыл бұрын
With or without kids I will keep coming back to your channel! Honestly, I love kids, but I don’t want any. My bf and I have an 11 year age difference and his daughter is 19 so that has changed my mindset. I am 29 and I’m just like nope nope nope. Kids are absolutely beautiful but woo is it a sacrifice and commitment. You two are enjoying each other in your marriage and that’s important. If kids come, or not for you both you’re both extremely amazing people and I love how you both can sit down and openly talk about topics. Blessings to you both ❤
@misswallis4050
Жыл бұрын
Lovely couple
@tyara.collins
Жыл бұрын
@@misswallis4050 they could be mentors. I honestly believe this is how they are on and off camera. Their marriage is absolutely beautiful ❤
@brendabrenda4741
Жыл бұрын
The subject of having kids is a conversation ALL couples should discuss as intelligently and honestly as these two have! I greatly appreciate this video and the knowledge they share. Thank you, Ling & Lam, and best wishes for your continued success.
@shalom744
Жыл бұрын
True. But it is scary to have that conversation.
@stacygray7470
Жыл бұрын
I admire you guys, your strength and your truth. I admire this straight up talk and I grabbed some wisdom from it. Thank you and you guys, take your time.
@elizabethcarvalho3168
11 ай бұрын
I absolutely love the choices that you's are making and thinking smartly on the present and future from the experiences of the past and you's definitely get the upmost respect from me because this is the very first time I hear others say they aren't ready for children and I am 48 already, Bless yous and every decision yous make for yourselves ❤❤❤
@deannachristine845
Жыл бұрын
Loved every bit of this conversation. I'm 33 got married a year and half ago no children and neither one of us plan on having any for awhile. Its so important to have a strong marriage before bringing children in it because you will be tested. My mom had 3 kids thats including me and she has been a single mother her whole life neither one of my siblings or myself share the same father. Im the oldest so for me having children is a very stressful conversation because of what I've seen my mom and friends go through with men. Im happy just enjoying my marriage for a long while .
@shericewright7762
Жыл бұрын
Yes so true
@rayanderson1941
Жыл бұрын
Yes. And as they said, you have to get to know your partner first, before bringing another life in this world that you have to spend so much time with, and less time with getting to know your partner
@tonyjeffers2606
Жыл бұрын
I Hope you have some eggs frozen #biological clock
@deannachristine845
Жыл бұрын
@@tonyjeffers2606 if it's in the plans God will work it out. I'm not stressing it because I'm like Ling I don't have a huge desire to have children.
@danieltob6362
Жыл бұрын
There is no difference between licking and leaking jare. Don't stress Nigerians o
@thecrystallockett
Жыл бұрын
This is awesome. I've NEVER heard a man speak so consciously about their future. Honestly, not everyone wants to have kids, and that's OK. Don't feel pressured to have kids, especially if you feel it's not for you. Kids are a LOT whether you have a village or not
@oluchukwunwaeze381
2 ай бұрын
You guys are on point.. 💯 percent
@blogz589
Жыл бұрын
Huge respect for Lamb's perspective and choices. As a man coming from a relatable background I completely understand your choices and I pray that God will make it possible for you guys to set up and maintain a solid foundation to your liking, and in Gods time you will have all your hearts desires including all the children you want
@vatiba87
Жыл бұрын
Im very happy you guys are having this conversation for people to understand. Ive been in the same boat for years of people asking me when will my husband and I will have kids. Little do they know weve been trying for years. Im Nigerian American and my hubby is Nigerian. The pressure i get from Nigerians is out of this world. Folks say the MOST insensitive comments to all the time to where ive cried so much that i have ran out of tears, ive even lost friendships because of this topic. Even leaving this comment scares me because i have mutual friends that are fans of u, i will never forget in as much as my hubby and i have been trying i had a friend tell me literally a little bit after dhe got married that she was pregnant, then her telling me that i should hurry up that i should be the one pregnant because i got married before her. If i show people how much my husband and I have spent on fertility doctors their mouths would drop and never ask agsin. Since seeing a therapist ive learned how to deal with this situation. Ive accepted that God will do things in his time. All i can do now is continue to have faith. I say all this to say, dont listen to what anyone says...do ehat is best for you. So if that means you are not quite ready yet that is completely fine. Im married 8 years and still get this insensitive question as if the people asking will be the ones taking care of my future children. I love u guys channel, stay blessed
@Joyful802
Жыл бұрын
So sorry to hear about your experience. People can be very insensitive. They think having babies is as simple as having sex and it will happen instantly when that's not everyone's story. Infertility is more common than people realise. Standing in agreement with you for your miracle. I went through it and God came through. Its a painful and sensitive topic that many don't understand. I believe it will happen for you❤
@ifeoluwakuyoro3250
Жыл бұрын
I'm happy you are getting help. People esp Nigerians can be very insensitive. The annoying thing is no matter how much you explain, they don't get it. They think they are just showing concern by asking. Its a huge mental strain. Just try to be happy and live a full life in christ. 5 months married and the pressure is getting worse. I think low key they think something is wrong with me/us.
@vatiba87
Жыл бұрын
@@Joyful802 thank you I appreciate the kind words
@vatiba87
Жыл бұрын
@@ifeoluwakuyoro3250 ignore them! Especially for your mental health. When u and hubby and God are ready or it's time then it will be. All the blessings to you
@ifeoluwakuyoro3250
Жыл бұрын
@@vatiba87 thank you so much ma
@ScarLosBeautyandGaming
Жыл бұрын
I love this so much!! Girl I've had so many people ask me this question and I had to tell one person under of of my comments how insensitive it is to ask people that because like you said, what you HAVE been trying and can't or what if you were and lost it? People don't think about the possibilities. I still want to have one but on God's time. I've been through a lot (which you know!) And my biggest thing at this point in life is what both of you said, building together, enjoying being loved SAFELY and making sure that we are prepared properly. Thank you for sharing this part of your marriage. NOW PEOPLE CAN MIND THEIR BUSINESS! 🤣💕 Love y'all!
@LingandLamb
Жыл бұрын
😂 👏
@Revivingidentities
Жыл бұрын
Y’all are amazing! You compliment each other so welll. So good to see men like you who still have values, principles and priorities right. God bless and keep you both.❤
@mst675
Жыл бұрын
Thank you guys SO MUCH for this conversation!!! As a teacher who has seen almost very form of dysfunction in families (which definitely affects the child's performance in school and in life) I truly wish ALL couples had this understanding and level of maturity before bringing little lives into this world God bless you both!! 🙏💯
@LitLifeWithChar
Жыл бұрын
What Lamb did was break generational curses.
@duvalledwards8977
Жыл бұрын
You are so right that curse has been broken
@sherinegrant830
10 ай бұрын
Amen
@TheMandy120180
Жыл бұрын
I am so impressed with how wise and self assure this was. As a single person without kids I truly truly appreciate you sharing this and speaking so eloquently. While I would like kids I am also ok without them for many reasons and it’s difficult for some people to understand that. Thank you for sharing
@daniellehlebari9103
Жыл бұрын
You will think you don't need a child until you start looking for one. this is just nonsense excuse they are financially stable at this point, there is nothing more better than having children in your youth. Many years later they will come back here and say the worst decision we ever made was not having children.
@blackrose8643
Жыл бұрын
Most sensible young couple I've ever seen. Best wishes to you both.
@w0ntuanASMR
11 ай бұрын
Thanks for this video! I feel the same way with the financial part and family members or people rushing you to have kids. This is a crazy world we live in now times are way different
@landreadavis1517
Жыл бұрын
I had so much pressure on me in my 30’s to have kids. It would make me feel so bad. People never know what you are going thru in your life. Now that I’m older and I do have kids in my later life. I asked and prayed to patience and the tools to be a parent. Open my mind to understandings. It has been challenging and rewarding. Thank you for sharing your story. Ling and Lamb you guys are amazing. Huggie Huggies
@TeeNan-rw5nv
Жыл бұрын
OMG! These are the conversations that need to be had! Love you guys for this! These conversations would save a lot of heartbreak, divorce, and time wasted with a person who probably was so wrong / incompatible with you in the first place! We who have kids love our kids dearly but bringing a child into a messed up unstable situation is quite selfish! No one goes through life wanting to struggle everyday trying to make it or to make ends meet! I understand totally where you guys are coming from❤❤❤Thank you!
@bossladybee8323
Жыл бұрын
You need to put this in an ebook. Cuz u said exactly what I was going to say. In fact I have an aunty who tells people to get kids as soon as they get married. And when u do, she comes back and say- oh my dear, one child ain’t a child. You need to have 2-3 just in case something happens to that one child 😮. Which I think is crazy!! For her to say such things. She’s insensitive. No one should be rush to have kids.
@carolwhitevlogs
Жыл бұрын
❤❤
@kgabophalatsi4507
Ай бұрын
I loved this chat, as quoted from a movie, 'having a baby is like getting a face Tatoo, you got to be committed.' I always wanted to be a Mom, I dreamt about it before I thought about work, marriage or even nice things, lol, and my dreams came true and I am so happy. But you have to want to have kids, the one thing I regret is not being prepared emotionally and financially. If you think people are intrusive now about when you should have kids, it becomes 10 times worse after you have kids... Wow everyone has an opinion but bringing a life into your life is so valuable. People make is if, having a child is like buying a car and that once you get one it comes with a service plan. No, everything changes after a baby and it's good to wait and also decide if you want kids, your dreams and visions are your baby, and they are as much work and they stay with you forever. So all props to you, you guys are inspiring and I would share this with kids and friends ❤.
@mikeenahhinton8448
8 ай бұрын
I love y’all life and love, y’all truly are inspirational to couples.
@csdcreations
Жыл бұрын
The beautiful thing for me is that y'all are on the same page. That alone is a blessing. I love the realness and the wisdom of your reasons, too. There's so much to raising a child! Mad respect for y'all!
@shalom744
Жыл бұрын
They are lucky.
@lasoniamcfadden4951
Жыл бұрын
This conversation is so enlightening. I have four children with 2 fathers. My first I had as a child and not ready at all. The father walked out as soon as I said I'm pregnant. The other father we were not financially ready and still young but we tough it out together. Also split up. When my children had children I wish they would've been ready and not followed in my footsteps. I now have a great grandchild whose mom isn't ready either financially we the help of family she is making it. I wish I could've heard this when I was younger my mother tried to tell me about being ready to have sex. I thank you for this conversation and I pray someone get the message you are trying to put out. I love you guys so much❤❤❤❤
@erinstewart5593
11 ай бұрын
All of this ! Yes, our family is putting pressure on us to have another. We are living comfortably and I’m in school full time. I can’t add another to the mix.
@sarbahomejia6473
Жыл бұрын
This conversation is deep, but so much needed in today's society. Thanks for the conversation.
@georgearieldreams-king3186
Жыл бұрын
You guys strike all the right notes and a whole lot of people lack this critical thinking, people just go with what everyone is doing and don't take into consideration the consequences. That's one of the problem with the world .
@agarthasharp530
Жыл бұрын
I just love the two of you ❤❤
@ceceliabrooks179
Жыл бұрын
Well said!
@autoprincess7831
Жыл бұрын
Take your time and enjoy life you guys are strong together and when the time is right you will be great parents.
@SheSoReRe
Жыл бұрын
NOT when the time is right they're telling you in your face THEY DINT WANT KIDS🤣
@autoprincess7831
Жыл бұрын
You never can tell the choice is theirs lol
@authentic_lori3735
Жыл бұрын
Prospective is everything... I love that they are tackling things from every angle... Now this is how healthy conversation should be... Love them❤❤
@tari-ebisuobo
10 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experiences and stories. It’s a great blessings.
@anazodoifunanyac
Жыл бұрын
This is rather an educative video for everyone. One needs to be mentally, physically and psychologically ready for everything you do as a couple. Because rushing to have kids would just divert your attention from your spouse to your kids.
@Bravebeauty22
Жыл бұрын
I’ve been married for 5 years and this is all we’re asked. We’ve taken time to get to know each other, travel and work on career goals. We want to create a foundation before bringing children into the world. People seem to not understand that.
@24kchefkimmy43
10 ай бұрын
This conversation was sooooo needed, not about you both but in general. I wanted to comment right away but held back so I can get the whole video. I think you guys are so thoughtful of each other and your past experiences to consider what bringing a child into this world would mean. Not enough couples have these hard conversations. My mom had 6 kids and I love my siblings dearly but I watched my mom struggle immensely. And I wondered why any one would do that to themselves. Much love to you both for sharing ❤ and babies will come when the time is right. We will definitely be ready. 🤗
@user-ib4xe6vh2i
3 күн бұрын
Beautiful conversation. Blessings to you guys ❤
@joyce3654
Жыл бұрын
Love this. It's good talk, we have people who go and have children and expect others to provide for them
@natachaCB
Жыл бұрын
He is so mature in his thought process and man, that’s what it takes to be a leader. He speaks as a man who can lead and guide his family because he thinks for the WHOLE FAMILY and not just for himself. From what I’ve seeing between them, this makes it easier for the wife to submit because he has THE FAMILY’S best interest at heart. A leader that won’t lead a woman to a PIT makes it easier for her to submIT. Take notes…that’s all most GOOD women ask for. OF COURSE, I’m talking about GOOD WOMEN, not…😂
@nikitee4535
9 ай бұрын
Each child has a different parent! So true 👍🏾. Love you guys ❤
@nonyeobiorah8702
11 ай бұрын
It's good for u guys to discuss this. It makes so much clear and mature sense, thank you.
@hildachungu857
Жыл бұрын
Children are a gift from God and so good stewardship of these gifts is really top on the list.....so if you are not ready yet to have kids for the reasons you've both given then go on with your lives and turn a deaf ear to the questions about kids. Children are not to be treated as accessories to a marriage. They are a gift to be treasured and nurtured. Thank you for your openness. Enjoy each other as always
@meganpierron1603
Жыл бұрын
Amen
@torilee2431
Жыл бұрын
Amen.
@abbyo4632
Жыл бұрын
I wholeheartedly support this!!!! Many people have kids just because that’s what’s expected of them after marriage!! Some people can’t even provide for their own selves yet they go ahead and have kids
@islandgirlstace467
8 ай бұрын
I absolutely loved this conversation. So much wisdom
@tarachapman8894
Жыл бұрын
That is so good, as husband and wife, that guys are on the same page. As a couple, you guys are taking your time , looking ahead, and making the best decision for you guys. Preparing, so when that come - if that time comes; you guys are preparing smart. It’s so easy for couples to feel the pressure and give in when they are not ready. A good way to end a relationship if you guys aren’t grounded. Praises for thinking things through. A blessing to be on the same page because sometimes couples are not in agreement on when to start their families.
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