Thank you, this has been great reminder not to fear the connection
@jasperjohns5956
6 ай бұрын
Thankyou Paulien, this video was very important for me; a supremely helpful and inspiring insight. Thankyou again!
@Toembo
6 ай бұрын
Daaaamn Paulina, its like you are in my head. I recently wrote in my journal about this exact topic! You are too good at this, keep it coming. Much love
@miamckersie3667
6 ай бұрын
You’re amazing at what you do! Many many thanks😊
@sunnypie2
6 ай бұрын
I’m new to this channel. Ive been trying to understand FAs and through KZitem, it helped a lot. In my opinion, you explain so clearly. I just wished we could help FAs change with out help instead of waiting for them to do it themselves. Understanding them is helpful for those who has a relationship with one…or those who wants a relationship with one
@sunnypie2
6 ай бұрын
@@Amybhds I don’t think wanting someone to be healthy is bad. But I do understand your point. Forcing someone to have elective surgery is not right. It should be their choice. Sure it may make their life easier, but the side effects could be bad and there are unforeseen results. I guess I just want the FA to love me back and die me to feel love too
@xenisssz
5 ай бұрын
can it also be the feeling of fear to connect because you are scared about the future ?
@VanessaLeininger-i1y
18 күн бұрын
Hey Pauline I have a question. I am 26 years old and currently living at my moms place till I find a job. She is an FA definitely (she had no peaceful or adult like relationship ever and every aspect of your Videos duo to us both). But I am on my way to healing. Whenever my mom and me spend too much time together we trigger each other very much. She has rules I and whenever I do smth that does not suit her (and you can’t always know what even when you walk perfectly on eggshells) I am just wrong, not normal, have problems, am under a bad influence and everything is my fault. This triggers me so much that I am moody and passive aggressive. What comes out of that is us talking in a rough voice and blaming each other. Do you have any advice how to deal with an FA parent in such an intense situation? I try to ignore her comments about everything especially about my relationship which is long distance and in her opinion no real relationship.
@VanessaLeininger-i1y
18 күн бұрын
And thank you for your videos they are really amazing and I finally felt understand and I am understanding everything. Sometimes I see my mom out of that pain and empathy and she looks like a sweet innocent child that is fighting itself through life. Her life was tough and she got me when she was 20 so it was always like I am her mom or my own too sometimes. But it can be tough when she says things like „everything I do and say is wrong to you so I don’t say anything anymore“ and I think like „yeah you know how I felt my entire childhood“.
@VanessaLeininger-i1y
18 күн бұрын
Understood*
@purplefenix2946
5 ай бұрын
Connection is here and now.
@itsOliviaAnne.mp3
6 ай бұрын
What about perfectionism in a partner rather than ourselves? :)
@iamtaraalexandria
6 ай бұрын
That's what I thought the video would be about! When I was super FA that's what I thought was necessary to have a relationship- the perfect partner. But that keeps everyone at a distance because literally no one is perfect! Perfect FA strategy 😜 plus if they're perfect we'll never need to communicate! Such a win! 🙈🤣
@soup6806
6 ай бұрын
there's a good pete walker article on this. he calls this part of us the "outer critic"-- a part that is very judgemental and even mean towards others in an effort to protect us. ofc no one is perfect so by rejecting everyone we stay alone (and to this part, that means "safe)
@nannuky1128
6 ай бұрын
I must admit I don't watch every video of yours cause the titles often make me think, 'duh, I already know that' - but this one was actually very eye-opening. thanks, i'll try to remember of what you said here more. in the meantime, is suddenly losing interest in people you liked when you're down in the dumps something natural, or does it happen to FAs only/mostly? cause... ugh.
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