I think parents miss the boat sometimes when our adult children grow up. The parents are still treating adult children as small children. When I realized I was looking at my adult children as adults with gifts, intellect, compassion,humor,love, etc. I became so curious as what they thought of the world. Their schedules, their work, their passions. I wanted a coffee chat daily! They are amazing people. I love being with them. Only thing. They live many miles away. I miss them because I really like them!
@eatnplaytoday
3 ай бұрын
Agree… my dad wasn’t ready for me to get married. I’m 35 years old in a 10 year long relationship with my man…. I eventually eloped with my now husband cause my family was slacking on wanting to meet his family. Now my dad is upset I didn’t give myself away properly by waiting for their approval. Well, I’ll be waiting until his deathbed in that case 😑
@agaposkart160
3 ай бұрын
Qqqqqqqqqq
@lifewithsandrahart
3 ай бұрын
So true. I was out of the house at 18 when I went to college and never lived full time again with my parents. I my day, it was a normal thing. Today this generation is coddled and will remain children forever.
@DaniD-zy2rl
3 ай бұрын
Yes they don't see us as an adult!
@neurocat8837
3 ай бұрын
This really warmed my heart ❤
@Mrsronaldo23
3 ай бұрын
Is it me? Or the content Mel is uploading getting more and more enlightening. I have struggled with this with my own daughter so thank you 🙏🏽. Seriously thank you for making this content that helps people understand there has been a lot of conditioning and it’s not who we are.
@darnitthelma4247
3 ай бұрын
Mel speaks to me more lately too. Needed this ❤
@jackieconrad4500
3 ай бұрын
Yes, I think in helping us, she's helping herself and it's coming across in her interviews. Loving it!
@neurocat8837
3 ай бұрын
Thank you for being a parent who is willing to hear this. As a daughter, I loved reading this comment
@JoshuaEdward12
3 ай бұрын
This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
@RoyJ.Tillison-tq5ed
3 ай бұрын
I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back
@JoshuaEdward12
3 ай бұрын
Interesting. Who is this counsellor, and how do I meet the person?
@RoyJ.Tillison-tq5ed
3 ай бұрын
Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being
@JoshuaEdward12
3 ай бұрын
Thanks a lot. I just did. Impressive.
@ritab5153
2 ай бұрын
Look forward, my friend. Not back. I get it....
@drsonakaushalgupta3786
3 ай бұрын
I feel Parenting is a natural instinct and every parent has good intentions for their children and wish them well .Children need guidance .But once they grow up just let them be and live your life with a purpose.Be there as a support and keep learning newer skills as we all need to grow Children mirror you so keep a watch on your own words feelings expressions emotions and behaviours Be proud of your parenting but take help when needed
@dk1828
3 ай бұрын
I swear Mel, you have such a way in conversing with people. It’s beautiful. Thank you for this conversation 🙌
@neurocat8837
3 ай бұрын
Mel, this is why I love you. I wondered if I should even watch this because I’m childfree, but this was so incredibly enlightening for me as a daughter. You really have a way of making sure everyone in your audience feels seen. ❤
@mariannakh8629
3 ай бұрын
What a beautiful conversation between 2 incredibly smart women! That was a very insightful interview!
@tanyacables4010
3 ай бұрын
Oh my God , thank you! This is something that I actually figured out on my own.😮 I started off doing EVERYTHING you mentioned, and I mean ALL of it. II was raised by a narcissistic. One day I just went, what in the actual hell am I doing. My son is a delight and a challenge and nothing I expected him to be! I adore him and am grateful to get to share how ever much of our lives we get to share. He knows we are here, what ever. He gets to go and live his life.❤❤❤
@therethinkhub
2 ай бұрын
This is the realest talk I've seen in a while and I can't believe some of the comments who say she is wrong (which proves her point). There is nothing more fulfilling than living your most authentic self
@haileynichelle8343
3 ай бұрын
I owe my mother MY LIFE. More than just giving birth to me, she has saved me and supported me in more ways than can count. Do not sit there pandering to selfish people and say that I owe her nothing. I will care for her even after she leaves this world someday. I think other adult children should do the same, so long as their parents are not abusive or toxic.
@haifaabdullah5062
3 ай бұрын
💯💯💯 I agree with most of her points, but this point in particular I agree with you 200%. This ideology of not owing anything to our parents makes us ungrateful human beings. What I can say is, parents just need to learn how to properly deal with their children's different stages in a more better, understanding way...
@jesss9927
3 ай бұрын
@@haifaabdullah5062there is a difference between you making a choice to care for your parents and feeling like you owe them and your parents acting like you owe them and if you don’t do xyz then you are ungrateful
@michelleroberts6175
17 күн бұрын
I totally agree. Her concept is for a specific type of family not ALL families like it comes across by her statements.
@hcmangs3634
3 ай бұрын
Really love how Dr Shafali shares how she is also on the journey and also working on it, helps drive the message to mean more
@rebeccacrow9616
3 ай бұрын
Totally agree with her about very negative affects of social media & all the tech with young children. Thank u Mel❤
@hi37080
3 ай бұрын
I really dont think that my son owes me anything, I feel support is the key, whatever their choices or lifestyle, support is everything
@cristhianm2753
3 ай бұрын
I learned sooooo much today. Thank you
@divinekatoure2345
2 ай бұрын
Just downloaded the book. I am going to get this sorted!
@shindoggy
2 ай бұрын
the reason some folks just can’t grasp the gems that are being shared here b/c some are at a level of consciousness where this seems contradictory to many parents. it’s really simple - we project as parents most often the FUD in a package of “love”. our children are OUR greatest teachers and until we can get out of our own egoic minds and the idea of do this b/c of x vs allowing our kids to discover themselves and most importantly teach them to love themselves (self compassion) is how we can change society. she is teaching and showing how to discern and break the cycle of over achievement which lends itself to anxiety- expectations- etc. our kids don’t owe us anything - our kids are not pawns of a transaction. this comes down to breaking our own constructs of what should be vs what is.. as she states which i love … “be extraordinary in your ordinariness”
@jawidschersei3715
3 ай бұрын
Could you please make a video on Toxic positivity? Thanks for every single word... I enjoy it, I've learned soooo many things from you ❤❤❤❤❤
@satience
3 ай бұрын
Profound. Being a devils advocate, I ask for sake of argument - Could we say the reverse- that parents don’t owe anything to children. Will parents invest in their kids as they do today in terms of time, money, attention, giving up their careers etc. Will kids be happy about it. Many kids today blame their parents for their present. Will they not blame even more. Many kids do well today because they take inspiration from their parents. Will all these not get disconnected. If parents and kids were not meant to support and influence each other isn’t that breaking up the smallest form of society that we are disconnecting.
@katiecanna3660
3 ай бұрын
I made a lot of the controlling mistakes and wanted them all to be more “like” me and hold dear the things I do. I clued in quite a while ago and have changed BUT they still respond to me as if I am still controlling or judging them when I’m honestly not. When I ask questions “curious” about their lives etc, they get agitated and seemed annoyed that I’m asking too many questions when it’s been 1-3 questions? And I rarely feel like they want to be around me. I don’t know how to change their view of me
@eatnplaytoday
3 ай бұрын
You can’t change them… the damage is already done. What you can do is just apologize and say you’re trying to do better, let them know you’re there for them and be patient.
@katiecanna3660
3 ай бұрын
@@eatnplaytoday thank you!
@broadwayhusbands
3 ай бұрын
BIG FAN!
@monikabatyra5915
2 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@kozzlow1
3 ай бұрын
Awful parents that think their kids “ owe them” .. wow
@laceyfineart
2 ай бұрын
Deconstructtion , nonsense, to be the embodiment of unconditional acceptance a breakdown of society and culture. Twaddle
@dianajohnson2869
3 ай бұрын
Best thing my parents have ever done for me since I can remember is whenever I walked into the room they acted like I was the best thing since sliced bread and now at almost 50 they still do it. I always felt loved, validated , seen, heard and accepted! I do it for my kids because I don't know any different, it's what I learned!
@maritzatacoronte5801
3 ай бұрын
How .. How do you NOT ugly cry when you sit across someone who is giving you SO MUCH realness and AHA moments. I loved and Shared this Ep with my Daughter and my sister. WOW
@HimanshuSharma-oy9ss
3 ай бұрын
I see Dr. Shefali , I click. I could listen to her as long as she wants to talk.😊
@deborahmason7240
3 ай бұрын
Agreed!
@kellystefani310
3 ай бұрын
Same! I feel so much resonance in the words that she speaks.
@shaneemoretgrowthacademy
3 ай бұрын
She is incredible
@lifewithsandrahart
3 ай бұрын
Agreed!!
@priyahareesh3749
2 ай бұрын
Same!!!
@mkeller4856
3 ай бұрын
How do you address these topics when you are dealing with a child with anxiety and depression who grew up to be an adult with anxiety and depression. For me I feel like I am walking on egg shells and fear afraid to express anything.
@hassnatahmad5339
3 ай бұрын
I would really appreciate to see more episodes like this! How external factors affect human behaviours and human emotion. Im Intrigued to become knowledgeable about human behaviour too!
@aliciathom9633
3 ай бұрын
What a great episode. At 69 I am in the process of exploring my relationship with myself, my 92 year old mother, 4 adult children, their partners and our four young granddaughters. 🙏🏻
@calazzell
3 ай бұрын
I disagree with her outlook almost 100%. It seems like quite a bit of projecting.
@juliecoppee994
3 ай бұрын
He is 9 years old, i realized by trusting him and him feeling that i do trust him, gave him this sense of confidence and self love for himself. But its only when i started trusting me.
@kristencobb230
3 ай бұрын
I heard a quote years ago about children being guests in your home for a period of time. Treat them as well as you would an invited guest. ❤ Really stuck with me.
@compassconcrete678
3 ай бұрын
I like that
@sandrah2285
3 ай бұрын
Fr Henri Nouwen 'Our children are our most important guests, who enter into our home, ask for careful attention, stay for a while, and then leave to follow their own way. Children are strangers whom we have to get to know.' “It may sound strange to speak of the relationship between parents and children in terms of hospitality. But it belongs to the center of the Christian message that children are not properties to own and rule over, but gifts to cherish and care for."
@xannaz9226
3 ай бұрын
Treat your family like guests, and your guests, like family.
@complexjanedoe
18 күн бұрын
@@sandrah2285 beautiful. Thank you
@complexjanedoe
18 күн бұрын
I felt this in my heart. Omg. Thank you
@Lori-j9f
3 ай бұрын
Speechless! I am shocked at how much this episode has impacted me- NOW!!! Mom of 2 boys - oops, MEN (soo hard to change that paradigm!!) my sons are 26 and 28 yrs old. Letting them BE themselves- is apparently a new concept for me - Dr.Shefali’s message has profoundly resonated with me on countless levels! I dare say, some of which I am still to discover. WoW!!!!
@carolinapaez5730
3 ай бұрын
Chidren don't need to be controled, but they need guidance and support. For how long depends on the child. That idea of 'letting go and let them be" does not fit all. My first child was ready to handle everything by herself with minimun support or guidence when she was 13. My son on the other hand needed more time. If I would have applied that concept he never would have had the successful and happy life he has right now. The idea of doing what your children need you to do not always comes from the "broken'' you. It comes from knowing your child and understanding their needs. Also, if you don't have expectations for them, they won't have them either. I raised two wonderful, healthy and happy young adult children, and I disagree with this doctor on almost everything.
@eatnplaytoday
3 ай бұрын
Is your younger child your “baby” and youngest? Most parents don’t want to let the leash go early for their youngest. It’s psychological *. They expect more independence from the oldest and baby the youngest longer; happens in almost every single family
@sargiesquad5933
3 ай бұрын
Thank you! LOVE Dr Shefali and I have been waiting for this!
@carolinapaez5730
3 ай бұрын
@@eatnplaytoday No, he is not the "baby." I am a very independent mom, and I am happy to see my kids living under their own terms. I gave them freedom since very young ages to travel and explore the world. Both are gifted, but my daugther is very driven and she discovered her passion at a very young age. My son needed more time to figure that out. Once he did, I let him go. He is attending college in another state and I am perfectly fine with that. You just cannot let your kids by their own when they are not ready. That is the perfect recipe for a disaster down the road. And I truly believe that you must push your children' limits. If not, how on earth they will discover their capabilities?
@catherineromero1862
3 ай бұрын
As they say, “take what you like and leave the rest”
@Gypsy218
3 ай бұрын
I agree with you. Every child is an individual and your relationship with each child is going to be different as is what they need from the parent. Something seems off about her advice to me. She's not really saying anything new but seems judgemental of parents right off the bat. Attacking with your wisdom? Why would you want to control your adult child? Don't get it
@pattistevens4969
3 ай бұрын
I have to disagree with a lot of what this woman said. How dare she say that every woman having kids does it for selfish reasons…after she hammered that point, I chose to not listen anymore.
@malinalina9712
2 ай бұрын
She does not hammer points. She hammers Egos 😅
@laceyfineart
2 ай бұрын
She is coming from a critical theory idealist perspective, ultimately deconstructing culture and society . She sees everything as a spectrum.
@sanchezhandymen3444
3 ай бұрын
I have always said that you do not own your kids, they are just for you to raise them. They have there own life journey. We raise them for 18-25 years (mostly) then they have 50-60-70 more years to live life.
@carolpainowholefood
3 ай бұрын
Dr. Shefali is soooo wise! I can see, and knew at the time I was controlled (but in such a loving way, seriously) and “urged” to work in a certain field. I know my parents did it out of love. But I never EVER felt heard. Never. So this is so interesting as a mom of 3 grown daughters with kids of their own. Woah! It’s like this one episode has given me “Me” back! And I feel encouraged to really see my daughters for who they truly are. I have encouraged them to discover their own personalities and hope they will always be discovering themselves. And as Mel said, I encourage them to reveal the things I did that ensnared them. Woohoo! So enlightening. I can’t wait to see my girls and grandchildren FLY!!! And, it’s time for Gammie to fly too! Woop Woop!!! Thank you SO much Mel and Dr. Shefali😊
@mroczekaleksandra
Ай бұрын
Thank you for this episode. So eye-opening, inspiring, moving. I'm amazed by the wisdom of dr Shefali. I have had so many reflections while listening. I've just finished reading her book "A radical awakening" which I highly recommend. It's a revolutionary book in my life. This conversation and the book have changed my perspective towards being a mom and what is really important in life. I am grateful.
@mindshiftmami
3 ай бұрын
Love this so much. This conversation is soooo important and needed. Conscious parenting will make more of a shift in our society than anything else. Thank you Mel, thank you Dr. Shefali for this conversation.
@222ouch
3 ай бұрын
I do see parents with trophy kids. Not all. Thank God my parents raised us six kids to think for ourselves. I disagree with the doctor for the most part. We all have a different experience in life and growing up..
@AK-dn8sp
3 ай бұрын
Ahhh, when you give and expect a return it was given through EGO. When you give and expect nothing in return it was given from the heart. Thank you.
@organicmonica
3 ай бұрын
I agree with some things but definitely not all. Her reasons for us having children... totally wrong. Children are a gift from God. I do my best to love them because they are worthy of love. I'm sorry. Disagree.
@jadetan6875
3 ай бұрын
People have kids for all different reasons. I guess she is citing one reason from a non-religious person pov. But that isn't the lesson from this podcast. She has a lot of nuggets of wisdom that are enlightening. I know so many moms that want their children to be superstars. This need to raise super successful children is especially prevalent in poorer families because the child is the parent's path to break out of the poverty cycle. That is why parents want Dr, Engineers, Lawyers and Architects.
@eatnplaytoday
3 ай бұрын
She’s probably taking more about the Asian community where parent’s kids are literally their ego. If you don’t do well in life, it brings shame to the family and ancestors and your parents can’t show off or show their face in their community 😅
@Pattygblanco
3 ай бұрын
I've been following your podcast since the beginning, and your content is getting better and better. Particularly, this episode and your chat with Dr. K are pure gold!!!!! Thank you for sharing so valuable information and kudos to you and your whole team ❤👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@eatnplaytoday
3 ай бұрын
Well my sister got pregnant on accident, don’t think she wanted to have kids to boost her ego… not sure if I agree with that. But over time she did use her kid as a trophy kid
@DeStresswithDee
3 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing such a valuable message for our human family❤ This will also help so many with inter-generational trauma as many of us are operating from shame based beliefs created in childhood (there are 100 of them but 21 common ones) which cause anxiety, depression and that feeling of being out of control. This podcast will help us Re-parent ourselves 🥰 Thank you! Thank you! I hope the whole planet hears this message. Sending loving Kindness, You are Loved. You are Worthy. You are Not alone. You are Love! Prioritize Presence over Performance for Peace.
@raquelopez1
3 ай бұрын
This is a gift to humanity!! Thank you both for following your calling 🤩🙏🏼❤️
@hcmangs3634
3 ай бұрын
What if we had compassion for our parents’, knowing their upbringing our whole life and now that I have my own child, I’m sick of constant compassion while they are narcissistic and give cruel or even constant ‘papercut’ digs?
@Tobhiyah
3 ай бұрын
❤ oh my gosh, boundaries versus ultimatums. This is such a great reminder! It's only about you, your feelings, attitudes and behaviors, not in any way shape or form controlling someone else.
@radkabuddy1112
3 ай бұрын
She is a female equivalent of Gabor Maté ❤
@lilyghassemzadeh
3 ай бұрын
I enjoyed the growth of my children soooo much that I think it's me who owes them.
@GalaxyTabFamily
Ай бұрын
Selfish and transactional parenting is evil. The past is gone. The future is not guaranteed. All we have is now. 🕊️ ✌🏽 ☮️
@kelleebiggar1273
3 ай бұрын
Thank you both for sharing this amazing perspective!!
@DeborahChapin
Ай бұрын
It's not just kids who are disconnected. Friends who can't be bothered to actually respond and communicate lose friendships. People who you "work with" don't actually work with you because that would involve communication. So it is dehumanizing all of us.
@LauraNorton-u7q
16 күн бұрын
I loved the podcast about you and your parents in MI by the way I live just outside of Grand Rapids in Rockford. I am in different places I am the 80 yr old parent on my own learning to navigate feeling about time and a time clock from my angle Living on my own new friends and supportsystems if k ow one told you thank you today I am Thank you Laura
@gaianoutreia
2 ай бұрын
what do you do if your mother is a narcissist and did everything to put you on the street? She is la lawyer, left me bankrupt, my house is still in jeopardy and told me everything is my fault because "we choose our parent before being born"...
@mohammedaldhufairi9798
8 күн бұрын
It is a homegenous interviewer and interviewee as I admire Mel reaction and echoing and the excitement and confidence of Dr. Shofli but still l like to have her back fot find out an answer for so many unauthintic situations with our friends, couples, at work, I love your episodes Mel you are great in the way you structure you self and in the interactions with guest and in particular framing back the answers
@jo-annephillips3946
3 ай бұрын
what a wonderful 1h 37 mins wow she is the best and thank you Mel for the right questions, not an easy task , you're good !!!
@benjaminbleacheriii1724
3 ай бұрын
Facts of Life ❤❤❤ Brilliant🌟s, we pray we get to cross paths face to face soon🤔😇❤️💯🌳🌳
@JameliaPinnock
3 ай бұрын
This episode is divine golden wisdom - absolutely love Dr. Shefali💜💜
@mjc.1111
3 ай бұрын
My two favorite empowered women preaching pure gold!! 👏👏👏
@TamaraHarrison-v1f
3 ай бұрын
Very interesting. Really makes you think and reflect
@munashamsulbahrain
3 ай бұрын
Mel, you are loved, you are appreciated. Thank you so much. I really needed this ❤
@ritazita1111
3 ай бұрын
Simply Wonderful Wisdom. Thank you for this Deep Conversation.
@elhammahintorabi3057
3 ай бұрын
Thank you dear Mel , she is a wonderful guest ❤
@lindahillan712
3 ай бұрын
Oh Mel... This has changed everything in the life of myself & also of my life with my two adult kids! God bless both you & Dr. Shefali.....
@yawninggreyhound
3 ай бұрын
Man, ruby franke needs this woman
@nellahummingbird2038
3 ай бұрын
This episode is a gem! 💙
@lisabalabas2305
2 ай бұрын
Wow Trophy Children! I see that a lot in my sons school.
@alexismichos2642
3 ай бұрын
How can the future of the planet rely on us when our children are the future
@kaurjassu843
3 ай бұрын
Absolutely worthy podcast ever ❤❤❤
@LaminJammeh-wk3kl
2 ай бұрын
But you owned me something great you steel my emotions
@InspireBoostwithShamira
3 ай бұрын
This is so true…
@kelliducloux8246
2 ай бұрын
@1:03:45 was key for me!!! Thank you!
@evaormandyova
3 ай бұрын
While I love Dr Shefali and taking most of her teaching very wise I came to an opinion that she talks more about normal children. How would she react in case of having a child with serious mental issues or highly addicted one (drugs, alcohol, etc.) ?
@eatnplaytoday
3 ай бұрын
I imagine this advice is more towards expecting parents and parents with kids still in grade school to prevent mental ill children to turn to addiction
@evaormandyova
3 ай бұрын
@eatnplaytoday yes. The more I listen to her podcasts and reading her books the more I am convinced about it.
@advocatekgy8734
3 ай бұрын
Very nice ma'am
@kristigleason8100
3 ай бұрын
Lasted a couple minutes - ugh
@HoroHigh369
3 ай бұрын
Thank you! 🤍🙏🏻
@Tiffanieg81
3 ай бұрын
Listening for the second time today 🙏🙏🙏
@anandshethi8742
2 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@DrLeJon
2 ай бұрын
I am now in a time of my life finally accepting my shortcomings and that I was only pretending to be someone I am not. The pain is immense, and I am thankful for my soon-to-be ex-wife for having tried so hard to help me. She suffered in the process more than anyone deserves to. Dr. Shefali's explanation about the pain involved and the way she described the liberation for both the sufferer and the persons around them was instrumental to push me further towards admitting my lifelong failure to be normal.
@rgrandberry1234
2 ай бұрын
Amazing!!!! xxox
@michelleroselilley4637
3 ай бұрын
Dr Shefali is the Indian Kate Moss!
@lizfountain2067
3 ай бұрын
I soo appreciate and am grateful 💞 for the way Mel recaps every segment of what Dr Shifali says..;it helps me integrate her advice to my core 🙏 ...and for me, this is where understanding begins..❤
@exotictramp
2 ай бұрын
Love is unconditional! I'm not a mother But I love my mum! My brother, Sister my nieces! I don't expect anything from any of them! But I love them unconditionally! Until the day I die
@shindoggy
2 ай бұрын
i’ll also add that it’s important to be aware of what i call the trap of “self-improvement”. again for most of modern western society- there is too much attention and focus of becoming something vs allowing to learn to just BE. to be clear- not implying our kids don’t put in the work and effort to achieve any goals (eg that the child feels they want to pursue) - are we as parents able to take the “I” (parent) out of the equation… meaning our kids may take a path that is completely out of the blue. foster curiosity- show (model) self love and compassion- allow our kids to experience (this is the key) so that they can live life and learn so that they can step though the world in a manner that we all love to talk about yet think about and make an effort on the daily
@tlsimonsson
3 ай бұрын
This Interview is so so Good I would give 1,000 Stars if I could 🤩 I truly believe it will change Me & my Daugherty's Life for the better. Who knew.....
@edalong1064
3 ай бұрын
Fabulous podcast and discussion. I love this and have been working these very ideas for the last several years. The more I let go, surrender and accept what is, the more flows and I find more and more miracles and magic awakens and comes into my life! Thank you so much Mel and Dr. Shefali. Your discussion is a great awakening and gift for this world right now! No Human Owes us anything! Wowee! blessings and love, We barely own our ownself right this moment! love this and you!
@anitadiener2307
2 ай бұрын
Mel, thanks for interviewing Dr. Shefali. Beautiful Content Ladies.
@dougmcdougal169
3 ай бұрын
Great episode. I raised 3 boys. They are all very successful. The oldest is a partner in a national law firm, the middle one owns a company that is doing crazy well, and my youngest was 8th in his Navy Bootcamp class. Here's how they were raised: 1. They were told to give 100% in whatever they attempted. I didn't care about the results or if they made mistakes; did they give 100%? 2. Let them fail. They did their own school projects. Their classmates, in 6th grade, had professional-looking projects while my boys had projects that looked like a 6th grader had done it. 3. We focused more on the process than the result. 4. We didn't overhype wins or losses. Parents want to protect and control their children in order for them to be successful. I took a slightly different view. I looked at parenting as having a dog on a retractable leash. Let the dog (child) explore, play with others, and learn. When they bolt for the street, you yank them back. You step in as a parent when it's a dangerous situation or one where they need guidance. Other than that, just be there for them as they grow and learn.
@MichelleDavis-q9t
3 ай бұрын
Hi Mel and Dr. Shefali, as I type this I think how does this apply for “minority and underserved communities “ who are focusing on creating with their children a life of wellbeing so that the behavioral patterns will discontinue.
@RavenVapor873
3 ай бұрын
I don't relate to any of this. I'm not sure if it's because I had undiagnosed ADHD but I don't believe this is about me. It'd be interesting to talk with someone that could dissect me and the way I parented. I know I'm weird but maybe it made a difference 🤷♀️ IDK. I definitely screwed up with my kids but it was very complicated. I screwed them up but not in this way. Interesting though.
@dorothyonyango6575
3 ай бұрын
Dr Shefali almost sounds like Dr Emmy van Deurzen. Beautiful episode. Feeling so enlightened. Thank you.
@hcmangs3634
3 ай бұрын
She sounds like Marianne Williamson speaking about ‘her’ book ‘Return to Love’
@HalimaKhattab
3 ай бұрын
I really liked very much, it’s a great lesson to me on different levels. Thank you
@misspower8044
3 ай бұрын
I’ve been trying to live my whole life with the philosophical idea communicated by Dr Shefali which is completely opposite to the modern society. I’m so grateful that you’ve now put these in words that I can commit to the community. This has provided me with the extra validation of my philosophy that I strongly believe
@mellmoi7571
3 ай бұрын
It’s so great to hear Dr. Shefali’s wisdom again. Thank you!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@danelleosmond6263
3 ай бұрын
I love this podcast! Dr. Shefali has hit it all on the head!! Boundaries with Finesse!! Dr. Shefali you are really smart and lovely. I wish I could meet you. I hope that there are a lot of people listening to this particular episode. Without taking from her wisdom and expertise, it reminds me of the 12 Steps that have saved my life and opened up love for myself, my life and my relationships around me.
@jenitidbitz
3 ай бұрын
My friend Mel! Hi! This was the most helpful one to date! These podcasts on my daily walks, just get better and better. I am here to thank you and to tell you that I love you and I appreciate you! You are changing lives for the better and I am so proud of you for doing this.
@catherinendungu9258
3 ай бұрын
Dr Shefaliiii, I have read her book , The Conscious Parent, and I totally loved it. That the Parent must first become conscious of who they are. I knew it as Self Awareness but the word consciousness brought parenting skills to a new level. Thank you Mel for bringing her to the podcast.
@_CalmLei
3 ай бұрын
lol I wish this was a class, cause I need notes on this episode. For all the talented notetakers, lol did anyone happen to take some notes?
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