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@vanessaandreatta9098
7 ай бұрын
The only difference now is between old money vs new money. Especially for ladies, old money don't need to show off, and decide to not to get surgery. New money instead still are willing to pay the price and the risks. Old money will always win over new money, and I pretend I am part of these ppl so I don't get caught into this madness 😅
@sienna9743
6 ай бұрын
@@vanessaandreatta9098 I wonder what old no-money vs new no-money would turn into? 🙃
@capsulamental
5 ай бұрын
I think associating doing procedures in the US with good quality, because it's also more expensive is a little bit of a stretch. Let's not forget that the life expectation of a US' citizens is the same as in the poor Brazil
@bom2948
8 ай бұрын
"A little montage of celebrity men who randomly grew hair at the age of 40+" was a banger
@poweredman
7 ай бұрын
Still, though I appreciate her worl, she's cosplaying as a "poor-people" influencer, because she appears to cater to them without actually being a part of their circles. She's the worst kind of top of the food chain predator, which is a wolf in sheep's skin. She has mingled and lived amongst the rich for most of her adult life and now has decided to also make herself a saint by showing poor people how the rich have cultivated society to benefit them and to extract from the poor. She's dangerous and I don't trust her. But I do like some of her content. The hypocrisy is hard to swallow, but it's valuable for lots of people.
@mimipeahes5848
7 ай бұрын
@@poweredmanPlease call a therapist Immediately.
@Buttercup697
7 ай бұрын
@@poweredmanif your American, Japanese, or western/Northern European (regardless of economic class) you are part of the top 10%, economically, on this planet.
@poweredman
7 ай бұрын
Awwwww I love how the author is allowing insults towards my mental health but is deleting my comments in response. How just of that morally corrupt wolf!@@mimipeahes5848
@poweredman
7 ай бұрын
LOL she's STILL deleting my answers when I insult you but your insult to my mental health is still up! This woman is such a nasty hypocrite. I'm unsubscribing.@@mimipeahes5848
@AR-md1zq
8 ай бұрын
I often get complimented on my skin and I often say, "It took a lot of work" cause it did or "I have an extensive routine". Some people seem taken aback like I should pretend I was just naturally blessed. I think people like the fantasy and my response breaks that fantasy.
@HanhNguyen-uk8bc
7 ай бұрын
I think it's because it reminds people of accountability. It's easier to believe that 'oh that person has nice skin because they're born with it' than to realize it takes a lot of work. You see the same response with very fit looking people-- it's all genetics-- and not acknowledging that maybe it's because they're consistent and specific with their training coupled with a good diet. Genetics DOES play a role, and there's a limit to how much you can do naturally, but too many people have an all or nothing mentality and forget to put forth effort.
@AR-md1zq
7 ай бұрын
@@HanhNguyen-uk8bc Ahhhh I never thought of it that way. It always struck me weird that people were taken aback because it my mind I was letting them know it was possible for them to have clear looking skin. Now that you explain it that way I now understand the offense taken. BTW I had large pores, breakouts and hyperpigmentation and I read a lot, watched a lot of videos etc. to learn how to optimize my skincare.
@HanhNguyen-uk8bc
7 ай бұрын
@@AR-md1zq I suffer from acne prone skin. Drop some skincare tips, sis lol.
@cmntr_
7 ай бұрын
@@HanhNguyen-uk8bc i know you didn't ask me specifically, but i'll give you some advice anyways. Cassandra bankson (medical esthetician with severe acne), dr shereene idriss (dermatologist) and dr sam bunting (dermatologist) are great resources here on youtube. Obviously if you have the resources and you feel like you need to see a doctor... do so. Things that have helped me tremendously and continue to work for me are using a gentle cleanser in the mornings and evenings, followed by a hydrating toner (i need it) and either a niacinamide+zinc serum and then sunscreen in the mornings or azelaic acid, salicylic acid or retinol and a rich yet light moisturiser in the evenings. There are lots of things that cause or exacerbate acne just like there are lots of things that make it better. Good luck and i hope my comment helped :)
@AR-md1zq
7 ай бұрын
@@HanhNguyen-uk8bc sunscreens, retinoids and moisturizer and consistency are the base then build from there as needed
@charischannah
8 ай бұрын
I teach afterschool classes to elementary and middle-school kids. When I was picking up my elementary class from the gym to walk them over to the classroom for our first day this term, one of the kids looked up at me and said, "You're really pretty." I thanked her and appreciated her compliment, but what I appreciated most was well, I'm built like the proverbial teapot--short and stout---and I was glad that this nine-year-old kid looked at me and saw "pretty" rather than current beauty standards which would say that I'm far from that. I don't know if it's because she hasn't been exposed to a lot of media, or her family is good at making sure she sees a lot of different perspectives on beauty or what, but I hope she continues to think people who don't match the beauty standards are pretty.
@nattamused9074
7 ай бұрын
100%! Kids perceive kindness, strength, and comfy clothes as pretty. Honestly, some of the days I’ve been in pink sweats and a Buccees T-shirt, I got more smiles from kids than in my dressy clothes. Grown ups can be pretty awful.
@cailllou25
7 ай бұрын
She just wanted good grades, kids are smart :D
@radicalaccounting
7 ай бұрын
children see auras, kindness as beautiful. some adults do too.
@AlextheENTP
7 ай бұрын
Children are awesome like that. I like you or You seem nice = You're pretty. I remember playing at another little girl's house once, and being absolutely FASCINATED when her aunt came home. I just blurted out, "You're so pretty!" Looking back, in some ways she probably didn't fit the mould either, but I saw her beautiful smile and fluffy pink pullover and thought she must be a literal princess, lol.
@JPKnapp-ro6xm
6 ай бұрын
Or maybe she was just flattering you.
@jessicajohanna5849
8 ай бұрын
“A permanent hamster wheel of aesthetic inadequacy”
@Vertasoie
8 ай бұрын
well put
@solarhydrowind
7 ай бұрын
Yes, well put. Unplugging yourself from the beauty matrix is unplugging yourself from the beauty matrix. There is sooooooo much more out there and inside you and within the lives of your lived ones to live for! Live for something more important than your face, hair, teeth, weight, shape, clothes, car, and living space. My mother would remind me often, "You are not the center of the universe!" How many people want to be around someone who does think they are?
@johnrcoben
7 ай бұрын
As opposed to the temporary hamster wheels
@laulaja-7186
7 ай бұрын
"Permanent hamster wheel of financial inadequacy"... sounds pretty similar, doesn't it.
@Ghostinaseashell1789
5 ай бұрын
@@solarhydrowind well said!
@dugongsdoitbetter
8 ай бұрын
I guess I should be grateful to my childhood trauma induced depression as an adult. It has afforded me the "luxury " of not giving a shit about most of everything.
@xxx_these.flightless.wings_xxx
8 ай бұрын
You have no idea how much I relate to this
@craffte
7 ай бұрын
Damn it's like I wrote this comment myself.
@angelbear_og
6 ай бұрын
Haha! For real though!
@jeremysmith4620
8 ай бұрын
Ha, I'm both poor and ugly!
@Miss_Earthquake
8 ай бұрын
Gurl u speak the truth!!! Preach. 🤩
@roskalta
8 ай бұрын
Join the club 🕺
@XxXsumaroXxX
8 ай бұрын
Same
@at0micn0vva
8 ай бұрын
Real
@snd0ll4v3r
8 ай бұрын
some people get all the luck 😩
@_infinitedomain
8 ай бұрын
LOVE these video essays! So well done.
@dougpatterson7494
8 ай бұрын
I loved “Guinness World Records”and “Top Ten of Everything” books when growing up and I remember seeing a photo of Lilian Bettacot, the owner of L’Oréal, who was the wealthiest woman in the world at least one year, and thinking “if she uses her own products that shows they don’t really work”.
@6eehappy
8 ай бұрын
one thing not mentioned much is also how time consuming it is to stay pretty and young. And time is absolutely a huge expense. All of those expensive skin care routines are also very time consuming. putting on makeup and styling hair is time consuming. Even if you're able to have or afford surgery or treatment, they often have a built in recovery time where you might need to take time off work or not be able to do your own housework which is an added expense on top of the cost of the procedure. Even going to the gym multiple times per week can be prohibitively time consuming when you have work and kids and a bunch of commitments. Rich people who have stylists and trainers don't only benefit from being able to pay for these things with money, but the training and getting styled and made up IS part of their job.
@radicalaccounting
7 ай бұрын
Absolutely. The cost of after surgery and taking time off from work doubles the price. And who can afford to take up to 6 weeks off from work?
@JustChillingOnTattoine
8 ай бұрын
I feel really blessed that I don't live in the United States, you guys have absolutely crazy beauty standards for women! The normalization of major surgeries like facelifts, BBLs, or nosejobs are bonkers to me 😮😅 I live in Central Europe and the only people I know who had plastic surgery are people like my mom who had a breast reductionfor health reasons (back pain). I would never risk my health for beauty. A surgery is a surgery, it doesn't make it any less risky if it's "just" plastic surgery
@genreartwithjb5095
7 ай бұрын
Mmmm don’t go to Italy then. Rome especially is nose job central. I saw more nose jobs in Piazza Navona then I did in my whole time living in NY
@amandatwright
8 ай бұрын
The editing on this was so effective! Well done!
@traumaqueeen
8 ай бұрын
Its all in our minds. We use these products or buy these things THINKING they improve our looks, maybe they do, but also its all in our heads. Once you accept yourself as you naturally are, you don't need these products to make yourself feel good.
@kathrinscharrer3923
8 ай бұрын
Spot on. But it is important to remind others it is just in their heads too, especially if they use it against others. Like reminding people that when there was not an abundance of food, having more body fat was considered beautiful, etc.
@spenx09
8 ай бұрын
Love to see Intelexual's work featured ❤
@denelva
8 ай бұрын
This was a very interesting and informative video. I turn 41 soon and the only "objection" I have here is the weight section. I've been both underweight and overweight (unrelated to eating disorders) and as I'm getting older, I've realised that no matter how irritating it is to accept a so called "beauty standard", a healthy weight IS and SHOULD be the most desireble. Not because of aestethic or fixation on looks, but because unforturnately, getting older will become more painful if you are too heavy OR too thin. "Clean eating" is a term I hate, though, because it implies that NOT eating like what's perceived as "clean", makes you "dirty", turning your food and eating into a question of hygiene and moral, that it just shouldn't be! I need to eat more like the average man calorywise, due to a very heavy job, but I don't have the time, energy or will to turn it into "perfection". The important things in no specific order, are: - getting full - getting enough nutritiants - an easy routine - taste I want to make sure I don't get hungry midst work, that I don't skip the fat (because past 40 your face definitely will look older if you're 10-20 pounds below your "ideal" weight). I want to keep my "work day diet" simple, easy, sustainable and preferably with some treats. How ever, if I tried to make a nutritionwise "perfect" diet plan for my average work day, I'd be beyond stressed and definitely paying way too much money that I just don't have - while also getting a way worse mental health, which is a price I'm not wiling to pay. Sure, I care about my looks and it's not FUN to notice wrinkles and more brittle hair, but since my work is 100% physical and also quite heavy - often in bad weather - I've become far more concerned with keeping my joints, bones and muscles as painfree as possible - which can be expensive too! Some of the BEST advices to keep the aging signs away some, are to take care of your mobility and your muscles, use sunscreen and get enough sleep. All of it possible to do in one way or another for MOST people - and of course, according to what's possible for each individual. I use affordable skincare products with retinol too, yes, but I've never had the patience to use make-up and when it comes to my hair, I just want to keep it long for as long as I can. My one purely for the aestethic routine, is painting my nails, something I started to do not even a year ago. My hands easily get scarred at work and the wear and tear is much more visible when I don't care about my nails. So, when I have the energy, I use cheap polish to brighten them up. Also: your feet! For the love of all things good: take care of your feet and remember that SOME calluses are SUPPOSED TO BE THERE (same with your hands) to protect your skin from too much pressure. This little tirade of my reminds me that once I've finished this excellent video, I have to take at least 30 minutes to stretch my aching, aging body because I'm 40+, it's winter and my work is taking a huge toll on me. Thank you for the reminder that "beauty" and health so often are about money and time, two things the absolute majority of the world's population, simply don't have to keep up with even a fraction of the beauty standards!
@elly7199
8 ай бұрын
Beautiful advice! I’ve come to a lot of the same conclusions myself. I’ve noticed if I concentrate on nutrition and exercise to focus on muscle and recovery health, my skin glows. Truly, skin is often a window into our internal body health. If one only concentrates on skin health, it is easy to miss outward signals that something bigger within the body might not be working right and needs to be addressed. Sleep also plays a huge role in health (and therefore, beauty). Love how you explained this!
@MIOLAZARUS
7 ай бұрын
I agree. I have been both very over weight and too skinny too. And being strong and healthy is good for us and Will help us age better ❤
@airving2
3 ай бұрын
This should be a college course. There's so much to uncover in our cultural artifacts.
@XenoCake
8 ай бұрын
Great video. Also, that bookshelf is fire!
@annan.3283
6 ай бұрын
This is one of your best videos! The TikTok graphics in the beginning were top notch! I think skincare gained popularity at the beginning of the pandemic when people were staying home and not wearing makeup. Now clean girl aesthetic is trending so everyone needs to have good skin.
@johnrcoben
7 ай бұрын
This is the classic "we're just giving consumers what they want" conundrum. "The industry" doesn't decide which advertising is the most successful, they determine what that is.
@feliciaw.9248
8 ай бұрын
Great job adding Lexual to the works cited. Her content is spectacular.
@pixelpond378
7 ай бұрын
No way the average cost of a rhinoplasty in the US is 5k (as someone who is looking at getting one). It's more like 10k at the minimum. 10k is considered a great price actually.
@zeezee796
7 ай бұрын
Missed out on mentioning the Sephora kids, Gen Alpha is starting so young on skincare/makeup and their parents are encouraging it
@fiona_ff
7 ай бұрын
Some people don't want to accept the reality. The beauty ideal is exactly that - "the ideal". Ideal is rare by definition. It is normal to be ordinary and not to be ideal, and not to freak out or feel bitter. That's a very extreme case of vanity - to demand to adjust the ideal to make everyone feel "ideal". Not everyone is smart, not everyone is successful, not everyone is beautiful. The majority of us aren't. That is not a problem and does not require a solution.
@mba321
5 ай бұрын
Your comment clearly comes from place of privilege. If those in the upper echelons of beauty, intelligence, etc. are going to lord it over you and use it against you in terms of jobs, income, etc., then I'm sorry but yes, it does require a solution.
@fiona_ff
5 ай бұрын
@@mba321 I am not sure what do you mean "lording over"?.. And what is the imaginary "solution"? To force others to admire you? .. And as to privelege - yes, I guess I am privileged. I have roof over my head and a stable job. I have grown up in Eastern Europe in low income family, so I feel now blessed indeed in comparison.
@TinaB.-fr1hl
7 ай бұрын
Not long ago I saw a commercial for BOTOX that was showing a man in his early thirties using the product to treat his 'flaws', wich was just the lines that naturally happens to all of us,at any age, when we lift out brows slightly. This is what marketing does. It creates a false need, to treat problems we didn't even know we had. And in a case like this, calling a normal condition a flaw, it opens the market to everyone feeling the need to use anti-aging treatments. Every time I saw this commercial, i kept thinking why are we not boycotting this? This shouldn't be allowed, it's subtle bullying and manipulation.
@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195
7 ай бұрын
As I like to say “the only way not to age is to die young”. Not aging is the real tragedy. We are scared of living life
@trevorgibbsnc
4 ай бұрын
Awesome video!!
@JulieHiltbrunner
14 күн бұрын
My hair gets frizzy. I’m treated better when I have it ironed. It’s annoying.
@jessicamattes4208
6 ай бұрын
I really appreciate the mention of skincare advice from people who genetically have "good skin" already. I'm 20 years old, and have had acne since I started puberty at 10 years old. At this point, I've had acne for half my life. I get SO MUCH unsolicited advice from people whose idea of a bad breakout is what my skin looks like at its best. The thing is, my mom and both of my siblings also have very oily, acne prone skin. I know that a lot of my acne is out of my control, but if I had a dollar for every time someone told me to drink more water or asked if I wash my face, I would be able to afford Acutane.
@workinprogresssince1974
7 ай бұрын
I'm so relieved I couldn't care less what anyone thinks of me. Most of these trends have passed me by and my mental health is very happy about that...
@PublisherGatineauHills
6 күн бұрын
I have no issue with models, actors and other celebrities getting treatments for body and face because that is how they make their living! Their careers have a shelf life and if they can extend it with cosmetic treatment, more power to them. That's not my world and I thank God for that. Aging naturally over here. The best beauty treatment a young person can have is to ditch all social media and go outside.
@deen4524
7 ай бұрын
you should have talked about "sephora kids"
@susanmarie3425
7 ай бұрын
Really appreciate the clear-eyed approach to this topic. Yes, I want to look my best but at what cost? And who gets to decide what "my best" is, anyway?
@frbyrd-tg5co
7 ай бұрын
RE: Cosplaying Poverty ... when in college in the mid-80s, women who would proudly wear thrift shop, ratty fashions, were referred to as 'bohos' ... the reverse of 'hobo'. i.e. - someone who obviously has the money to dress in modest or above contemporary fashion, but chooses not to, for noticeable effect(clout). Conversely, you would also see those who would copy Samantha Fox or Lita Ford by taking a razor blade to dice up designer jeans.
@ExploreEmbraceExpress
8 ай бұрын
I've seen a video exactly like this, but eager to see your take on the topic.
@WowUsernameAvailable
7 ай бұрын
One thing that people forget is that it IS what's on the inside that counts more. I mean, how many times have you been with an incredibly good looking person you've admired from afar, only to realise that once you're next to them they are absolutely bland and you feel exactly nothing? And here I'd like to quote from Herbert Wells, who was in love with a femme fatale: "She is certainly untidy, her forehead is furrowed with disturbing wrinkles [and] her nose is broken. She eats very quickly, swallowing huge chunks, drinks a lot of vodka and she has a rude, muffled voice, probably because she is a heavy smoker". Didn't stop her from having countless affairs and two famous men wooing her :)
@rsterbin
7 ай бұрын
My neice is ten. Last year she and her friends were all into homemade slime. This year, they're all into skincare products.
@dr.zuzykitsune
7 ай бұрын
As a middle eastern woman, I can tell you that beauty standards are even more racist in ME and I know because I'm fortunate enough to have alabaster skin and everyone comments about it and women are envious of it and I'm also told that it's unfortunate that I didn't also get my mom's blonde hair and green eyes. We also have a huge market for cosmetic procedures and beauty treatments and products.
@TemplarOnHigh
7 ай бұрын
(Not a woman) - the teeth thing is too real. I have "bad" teeth. They chew, they don't hurt any more, but they are yellowed and crowded and it's clear my parents could not swing dentists, let alone braces. I smiled with my mouth closed for a very long time. Then my grandma died. And I remembered her smile with her badly yellowed, crowded teeth and how much I loved seeing it. So now I'm flashing my balsa colored teeth at everyone.
@pro100olga
8 ай бұрын
As a mother of a little girl, I am terrified :( Thank you for your tremendous work!
@user-3jd6hek5h
5 ай бұрын
This is very interesting. I am Korean and lighter skin is considered more beautiful. A lot of westerners think that Koreans want to be “white”, but it has nothing to do with race. (It sounds almost as absurd as claiming white people want to look younger because they want to be Asian.) It comes from how richer women didn’t have to go outside to work in traditional farming society, therefore, lighter skin was considered more beautiful. Very interesting how richer women’s aesthetic is considered beautiful in different cultures.
@stephtaney4638
7 ай бұрын
How appropriate that the advertisements that I am seeing while watching this are for expensive skincare 😅 (which actually worked well for me, but wasn't accessible until I was earning far above livable wage). So much truth here.
@PublisherGatineauHills
6 күн бұрын
My sister is a million dollars in debt because of her addiction to physical perfection. She is 67 years old and has no money to live on. But she looks great.
@helenr4300
7 ай бұрын
the changes in 'what shows I am wealthy' fashions is really significant. In caucasion contexts -not only were pale skins a sign of privilege being free of daily work in the fields, the concept varied from not sitting too close to the fire and face guards to be naturally pale (Austen era) to earlier Elizabethan trends of applying white lead to have the artificial look (which poisoned them). Weight was a sign of good access to rich foods. Then post industrial revolution the workers were indoors in the 'dark satanic mills' of factories and the distinction faded. In 20th century having the time and money to travel abroad and get a sun tan made that the 'sought for', even after that became more mass available, and that it risks skin cancer, til now the artificial look is aimed for even though it is obviously a fake tan. And leanness reflects I can afford fancy organic food and a gym membership. I wounder when the pendulum will swing back - will it take another century?
@KB-zq9ny
Ай бұрын
I used to watch those makeover shows on the Discovery Channel affiliates, and...boy, were they selling us a load of falsehoods, and I as a naive teenager, would sit watching those shows transfixed, wondering why the tops I bought didn't fit me like the girls in those shows.
@sbeautiful6133
8 ай бұрын
As a poor I can confirm this is true
@bethanycreativeside4326
8 ай бұрын
It's not because you are poor I know poor people that are beautiful. It's the choice you make.
@pinkcrayon1382
7 ай бұрын
@@bethanycreativeside4326You clearly did not understand this video.
@melissan.6322
6 ай бұрын
So with you on being fascinated by the MLM LuLuRoe Tijuana Skinnies nexus, that was WILD. Great, fact packed post that has me thinking a lot!!!
@Londonworldrest
7 ай бұрын
Some British shoes you shoumd watch are; the great british sewing bee, water colour challenge, portrait artist of the year, landscape artist of the year
@glassycreek1991
4 ай бұрын
Luckily I had severe depression as soon as puberty hit and on... Now I got the "I don't give a 🎉" aesthetic"
@clarissacampomizzi4633
8 ай бұрын
Chelsea, you definitely look beautiful in your “normal” version, much more than with procedures! Thank you for talking about this topic with care and respect.
@jtixtlan
6 ай бұрын
It is a disgusting, arrogant, and outrageously degrading and opportunistic expression.
@marlonelias
7 ай бұрын
I fly to the PHILIPPINES for skin care!.!.
@dandylandpuffplaysminecraf8744
8 ай бұрын
As a child people would say to my mother “what a pretty little girl “. My mother took me aside and told me “All little girls are beautiful “. My first memory of being proud of myself was when one of my father’s friends was impressed when I responded to his compliment with “All little girls are beautiful “ with delight. I was six. I still remember.
@lacasadelmango8712
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing that, what a nice memory ❤
@whatamess8764
8 ай бұрын
If I have kids, I'm definitely doing this!
@loveinseattle
8 ай бұрын
Not all little girls are beautiful, though... Cringe.
@LeonardShelby112
8 ай бұрын
Some kids are ugly indeed. Unfortunately for them.
@brandonneth7707
8 ай бұрын
algab as they say
@33Jenesis
8 ай бұрын
I just try to shower, wash face, brush teeth, and keep hair clean. That’s my routine. You guys have no idea how difficult these steps can be for seniors. Mobility issues make even basic hygiene impossible without home health aid.
@Andy-xx3tt
8 ай бұрын
I’m currently recovering from an injury and have very slowly started to regain some mobility back in my dominant arm. Adapting was a lot harder than I thought it would be because I had to completely readjust the way I do simple things and there’s other things I need help with - things as simple as putting my hair up or opening heavy doors. I feel for people that live with permanent disabilities and mobility issues. It’s true that you take health for granted until your body takes a hit and can’t function the way it used to. ❤
@ellajorgi2478
8 ай бұрын
ooof, that's why for the past year I'm rather paying attention and putting effort into expanding my mobility while I can (just crossed the 30 threshold), so that I - hopefully! - lose it slower in the future. Which only makes it more bizarre to see at what lengths some people are ready to go for what are actually short-term wins :/
@Emmzilla
8 ай бұрын
I’m disabled with mobility and motor issues; not all steps of the routine get done every day because I just CAN’T.
@Emmzilla
8 ай бұрын
@@ellajorgi2478It helps if you do what you can to make your space more accessible now, too. It’s hard to move things around or renovate once your mobility is already affected.
@StandingStones409
8 ай бұрын
One thing Chelsea missed during this essay is the commodification of 'fitness' as an accessory to beauty, when physical fitness is an end in and of itself. Function over form: Fitness is what your body can *do* (which its own kind of investment), not what your body looks like.
@annaschmidt2
8 ай бұрын
One of the hardest things about aging is that, no matter how much you might accept getting older, you will run across others who will point out to you that you are now older, less desirable, and not worthy of respect than younger women. It's very strange. I don't know if men deal with this, but women definitely do.
@LemonLimeJuiceBarrell
8 ай бұрын
That’s really sad. Maybe it’s because I’m in the south but I have never seen or experienced this among any men or women I have known. It’s just not something that anyone I know would even bring up because it’s incredibly rude….
@Chaiilatte84
8 ай бұрын
Young women aren’t “worthy” of respect by men either. You have to remember that a once young woman yourself. Think about if men actually respected you or if they just faked it to try and sleep with you. I’ll let you in on a secret they faked it. Women have to respect themselves and each other and men will follow suit and if they don’t fuck them. De center men and patriarchy and your life will improve drastically.
@billimaddi3925
8 ай бұрын
Men do deal with this, though not as bad as women. In my own community, both genders get side-eyed or gossiped if they don't marry past a certain age(mid 20s). However, Men have this flexibility as what matters more is income (bcs the culture prescribes men as the traditional breadwinners), so you have some sort of "defence". Women, sadly, are prescribed as mothers and family makers, so the pressure is definitely higher and more "hurtful".
@hgbgakdflndbz6921
7 ай бұрын
True, these comments especially come from people who follow specific Internet ideologies and meeting these people IRL quickly reveals their personalities, so you can always disengage
@samanthamcmillan3044
7 ай бұрын
They don't. How many men do you know who give zero fucks about their appearance? They get it to a far less extent. Agree with everything you said except for the 'respect' part. Young women don't get respect either.
@izuna77
7 ай бұрын
My husband is a middle school teacher and he recently told me about how the boys in his school are all about 'body maxing', and as he explains it to me I just look at him and say "that's a beauty routine, what you are describing is just all the things girls do to feel acceptable. We call them beauty routines." And he says "Yes, that's what I told them, but the boys have assured me it is completely different." I guess it's all in the branding 🤦
@tan89284
7 ай бұрын
No it is completely different. Maxxing ones looks started from the incel community a few years ago after Elliot Rodger. At first it was purely a male thing. Now over time though, everyone is maxxing both incels and non incels.
@Mallory-Malkovich
8 ай бұрын
This is just another reason to love the great Dolly Parton - she has always been unselfconsciously up front about the amount of artifice that goes into her look.
@lorihoop3831
7 ай бұрын
It ain't cheap to look this trashy!😂😂. I love that line
@marylhere
8 ай бұрын
Fun Fact: when sugar was very very expensive (Elizabeth I) people of high status had noticeable cavities in their front teeth….the poor would chew on charcoal to get the upper class look. Dark History w Bailey Sarian.
@poweredman
7 ай бұрын
wow. that's very curious. similarly, anabolic drugs are used by poorer people than hollywood dudes. and then they die.
@MustbeTheBassest
7 ай бұрын
Wow, that is so depressing and comical at the same time
@Matty002
7 ай бұрын
nothing really is new
@DavidParket-g1h
7 ай бұрын
It's seems even what we eat is based on luxury, and our biggest example of this is eating meat with every meal. Heart disease is one of the biggest killers in the Western world.
@beejereeno2
7 ай бұрын
Eating meat doesn't cause heart disease,@@DavidParket-g1h
@aedooland1824
8 ай бұрын
I remember assisting a couple to go bankrupt on $11.7M debt, I hadn't thought that much about it until I saw their dates of birth on the documents. They were in their 60s and looked in their 40s. A life-long (starting at childhood) wealthy, leisurely lifestyle had made them look so much healthier and younger. I think about that couple a lot whenever I see someone who looks weathered and older. Very different lives.
@lorrilewis2178
7 ай бұрын
I know what you say is very very true for the most part. However, sometimes genetics trumps wealth. I am thinking of a fairly well-known blogger in her sixties who grew up in wealth. She looks at least fifteen years older than she is, in spite of major generational wealth and living a very healthy life. A nurse thought she was her father's sister and he was in his late eighties at the time!
@videofan1010
7 ай бұрын
Getting out of that much debt later in life 😬
@aedooland1824
7 ай бұрын
@@videofan1010 it was due to a failed business that had director guaranteed debts - they got screwed by a big shopping chain. Sad story, actually, but an example of why large corporations need to be more strongly regulated.
@ritasjourney
7 ай бұрын
@@lorrilewis2178 I believe that’s the exception, rather than the rule
@lorrilewis2178
7 ай бұрын
@@ritasjourney Did you read my very first sentence?
@XyoushaX
8 ай бұрын
On the premium on paleness, before European empires, there existed Asian empires with their hierarchical socioeconomic structures that also put a premium on paleness. The pale aesthetic that is prevalent in modern Asian beauty standards is more influenced by the historical trend of wealthy Asian aristocrats being able to stay inside and avoid the sun, while the peasants who worked outside and were more exposed to the sun grew tan. Women’s makeup was paper-white back then, and even now Korean and Japanese women are encouraged to buy foundation that is one shade lighter than their actual skin (and darker shades are sometimes not even produced, because “that’s not the makeup company’s target audience”). There was even the fad of foot binding in China, which meant the daughter who had been subjected to it, never needed to go on foot for her entire life; she had servants to do her bidding. This historical association of “pale”, and even “sickly” or “helpless”, with the ideal of “rich” - this trend has a longer history and stronger impact on modern Asian beauty standards, than the more recent trend of “trying to look more European”. “Trying to look more European” has an impact on modern Asian beauty standards, but in different forms. For example, the “double lid” eye surgery. We know from paintings and writings from old China and old Japan that thin eyes, and even blood-shot eyes that looked like they had just shed tears, were seen as “bedroom” and were prized as sexy. This is why traditional makeup on maiko in Kyoto includes a hint of red eye makeup, it is another form of the historical “teary bedroom eyes”. The more modern trend of larger and double-lidded eyes, is a reflection of globalization’s impact on modern Asian beauty standards. So in modern Asian beauty standards, there is a double-whammy: there is both “old empire” (Asian empires of India, China, Japan, etc. where the pale aristocrats could send their armies to raid or conquer nearby kingdoms), as well as “new empire” (European empires, where pale aristocrats could send their armies to raid or colonize far-off kingdoms). Both of them blend now into a globalized and savage marketing campaign of “You’re currently not beautiful enough, but we can sell you something to fix it, here or abroad” onto modern Asian women.
@giffica
8 ай бұрын
Yeah or, big eyes are better and Manga and Anime caused this not anything you think.
@Aris-Darling
7 ай бұрын
Yes! My thoughts exactly but very well-said. Thank you..
@Kitty-Cattie
7 ай бұрын
Absolutely love this comment. I learned about "paleness" in this mindset in Vietnam
@XyoushaX
7 ай бұрын
Good you mentioned that! Also, modern manga (starting from Osaka Tezuka with works like Astro Boy and Princess Knight) were directly inspired by Disney. So new empire European aesthetics were also carried through Disney and into Japanese pop culture as well.
@giffica
7 ай бұрын
@@XyoushaX Yeah go read an actual book instead of wikipedia. "New Empire Aesthetics" lmfao you mean Jewish American Animation and Comic style? Please get out of here with your revisionist nonsense telling an oppressed class their art represents empire. Delusion.
@ellajorgi2478
8 ай бұрын
"See, girls, we have options!" I almost chocked on my lunch at this :D GOLD!! x)
@playdohsrepublic3562
8 ай бұрын
When I was 10 years old, my mom was 34. I thought she was the most beautiful person on planet earth. What she looked liked then (she was petite with curves) has remained my idea of beauty. She was so natural and not trying to be beautiful. She had long curly brown hair and smokey gray eyes. The media has never been able to change my mind about that. My mom=beauty. She was also genuinely kind and loving. I wish I would have told her that.
@MelissaMayhem99
8 ай бұрын
I remember looking at my Mother around that age too and thinking she was so pretty, in her long 90s jumper dress with the white tshirt under it. Just plain and natural. I try to keep that in mind for my own daughter, and who knows maybe one day she'll be saying the same thing about me. Although I sure don't feel pretty 😂😂
@withinwithout6263
7 ай бұрын
That’s really beautiful. Thanks for sharing
@esikazemese
7 ай бұрын
This is cute, but how is petite with curves is not socially beautiful?
@bunnyboo6295
7 ай бұрын
@@esikazemese most people don't like curves
@Begeru
7 ай бұрын
@@bunnyboo6295 really? then how are women like Kim Kardashian and Nikki Minaj so popular?
@ernststravoblofeld
8 ай бұрын
If you look at medieval literature, norse sagas and the like, one thing that really whacks you upside the head is the way beauty = character. Pretty is good and moral, ugly is evil. Today's media is actually a bit more subtle about it, but nothing really changes.
@adrianghandtchi1562
8 ай бұрын
Especially in older fairytales, if you’re allowed to be beautiful but you can’t enjoy the beauty. It Hass to be for someone else.
@sallybrite1530
8 ай бұрын
I remember feeling hit with that when Lord of the Rings came out. Pretty, light skin/eyes/hair = good. Dark/ugly = evil.
@vivaenmiriana
8 ай бұрын
this isn't limited to just then. It's all the way into the 1800s and even into the 1900s
@ernststravoblofeld
8 ай бұрын
@@vivaenmiriana Things change, but not always by much.
@yulia9778
7 ай бұрын
The same time, in the Middle Ages, a beautiful woman was supposed to be a witch and a suspicious person just because of her look.
@TheVincentKyle
8 ай бұрын
I don't think "thin" ever left, and a lot of us were likely lying to ourselves amidst the irrational exuberance of the 2010s.
@flavanz_
8 ай бұрын
True! I thought the same thing, but i guess “thin” was KINDA canceled when the victorias secret scandals happened etc. i mean they tried 😂but it def never left completely
@geringergasse2
8 ай бұрын
I remember that during my childhood thinness was associated with not being healthy. My mother and her friends were shocked by the appearance of Twiggy and they gossiped about her at length.
@МаріяТарасенко-э3я
8 ай бұрын
From thin-thin it switched to muscular-thin
@kirstenbass1968
8 ай бұрын
It just became another requirement to aspire to, but no less restrictive. You couldn’t be thin OR fat. You must have curves in all the right places, but always a thin waist.
@user-hc2tu7ul7j
8 ай бұрын
Thin is always in, but what thin meant in the 2000s is not the same as now. Just like ‘thick’ has changed meaning. I was watching some rap videos from that time period and I was shocked when I caught myself saying ‘their butts look smaller than I remember’ just because BBLs have changed our perspectives of thickness
@amberallen7809
8 ай бұрын
As a visibly physically disabled woman, it doesn't matter where in the world I go (from the US, currently living abroad, have spent significant amounts of time in 3 countries other than the US) I will never be considered beautiful. I recognized this fairly early on. I had a brief period in high school where I desperately tried to fit the beauty standards, but no matter how much makeup I put on, or if I managed to get designer clothes (I also grew up, and am still on, the poor side of things) I was still the weird broken girl. Gave up trying by the end of high school in 2011, much to my mom's disappointment. It's freeing though, in its own way. Obviously I keep a baseline of care for myself, but I haven't worried about makeup, labels, or hair (style) for years. I've got a few friends. Sometimes wish I had a bit more going on socially, but also know there isn't much I can do about it. People will either tolerate/like me or they won't, and makeup isn't going to make the scale move much either way.
@specialtwice4975
8 ай бұрын
If you are ugly and funny or ugly and have a decent personality then you'll be fine. My ex is ugly, like really ugly, but to me she was beautiful. Why? 1.) She made me laugh. Even now I think back to the time she made me laugh or the times we got along great. 2.) She had a great personality and we got along great. I've since talked to some pretty people and some of their personalities were shallow or cold, and they didn't make me laugh or pay attention to me. Sure, they are nice to look at, but when you are out for dinner and the hot guy is on his phone texting some other chick instead of talking to you, it kind of gets old/feels sad and depressing. "Yeah, just a sec." he says and then a second later, "hey, I gotta go, my friend is having this party and he wants me to meet him. We'll talk soon, k?" And then they throw a $20 on the table and leave. The waitress then comes and is like "dessert? You look like you need it." You say no, and then go home alone, and they don't text you until 2 days later. "Hey... I'm really sorry🙏I know I bailed on you.... Can we hang out sometime this week and I can make it up to you? Pleaseeeee I promiseeeee not to bail this time." But then they do, and you are left home alone, again.
@agme8045
8 ай бұрын
@@specialtwice4975that’s oddly specific
@agme8045
8 ай бұрын
Your comment made me incredibly curious as to what you look like lol
@manudash4150
7 ай бұрын
Go where you are treated best - you will be happiest there. I loved your life journey and I am sure you will make make amazing friends in future,
@nattamused9074
7 ай бұрын
Find your own beauty! Everyone has things they don’t love about the way they look. Personally, I spent most of my life feeling downright embarrassed about my flat chest, my pale freckly skin, my big droopy nose, my asymmetrical eyes, my crooked smile. But I have had so many people tell me they think I’m beautiful. Yes, all people with a bias, like my husband, my mother, and my children. Is it because I’m objectively beautiful? No. It’s because they love me. They’re not lying, they just think I look beautiful to them, because they love me. They love my pale freckly skin, my flat chest, my big droopy nose, asymmetrical eyes and crooked smile. So I’m intentionally learning to love it too. Because I want to teach my daughters by example how to be thankful to God for the body He gave them, and not hate it.
@vivianworden
8 ай бұрын
Straitening your teeth is not a beauty enhancement. We're told that so insurance can avoid paying for things you need. Crowded teeth can break and cause tension. Its not a beauty enhancement, they have convinced us otherwise
@JP-ve7or
8 ай бұрын
No kidding! I didn't even realize how most of my teeth weren't even touching when I chew until I was halfway through Invisalign and suddenly my premolars were being useful. But of course it was just a cosmetic treatment 🫤
@AnnekeOosterink
7 ай бұрын
Yeah, this. Crooked teeth can cause all kinds of issues, from pain and breaking, to spots unreachable by toothbrush that turn into cavities over time. Problems like infections in your mouth affect your entire body. But I guess it's cheaper for insurance companies to let people suffer and make them take painkillers in perpetuity than pay for a dentist.
@TempermentalTart
7 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@ruhamayared3829
7 ай бұрын
It can def be both
@katelyndefreitas2810
7 ай бұрын
Yes this is so true. It’s still so cost prohibitive
@Aris-Darling
7 ай бұрын
As a fair-skinned Asian who has grown up in Southeast Asia and America, I want to make a correction on a very common misconception stated again in this episode… Asian people value fair skin NOT to “be more like Caucasians”… (that is incredibly self-aggrandizing of Americans and Caucasians to say). Asian people have valued fair skin long before colonialism - look to ancient China or Japan as examples. In Asia, dark skin has been associated with working in rice fields and rural poverty, and pale skin with a more comfortable cosmopolitan life indoors equipped with AC. You have it right that social class has an effect on societal beauty standards, but please stop with the “Asians want to be white” mentality. It is not only misinformation but also insulting to the people of the largest continent on earth. We have enough of our own toxic standards, thank you.
@macummings7818
7 ай бұрын
Right! Im a diasporic person and I apologize for this v insular American posture and outlook! 😬🤷♀️
@lunallenalunallena
7 ай бұрын
As informed as she seems I am unsure why she’s so uneducated regarding this topic… I’m not much into beauty standards or anything of the like, but even I had an idea why Asians prefer lighter skin. As you said, it’s been in history for centuries. ❤❤❤
@GenerationNextNextNext
7 ай бұрын
While I do agree that Asians have praised lighter skin over darker for centuries, which is probably why so many Asian countries have embraced westernization so easily since colorism and racism have always been ingrained in the society and they don't see anything wrong with European society in that regard, I believe Western media has increased the desire to adapt Western standards to coincide with it. I think about how some Asians (particularly in Japan and South Korea) glorify white actors and actresses and say they want a nose and eyes like [x, y, z] actress or singer. Even the manner of dress is to follow the high fashion name brand styles found in Europe rather than home-grown. I do agree with you, though, that the conversation requires more nuance and goes beyond skin when talking about westernization and colonial influence.
@alan2102X
7 ай бұрын
Thanks for pointing out the deep history here. I was aware of the white preference in Asia and Africa but I did not know it went back far before colonialism. One thing to check, however: you say that they do not do this to "be more like whites", but I suggest that they do: more like richer whites who do not have to work in poverty, and who live cosmopolitan lives indoors. It may well have STARTED before whites came on the scene, and before colonialism, but it could well have been (and probably was) exacerbated later by white/colonial culture, and this influence probably persists to this day. Cheers.
@cassidybrewer
7 ай бұрын
16:19 actually acknowledges this very thing, interestingly
@thisisnancybot
8 ай бұрын
When the anti-aging section begins the second I pull out my retinol 😅
@daniellegraham4412
7 ай бұрын
I think the best thing you can do for your own mental health and wellness is to quit all of the socials. I left social media completely about a year ago and my self esteem and the peace in my soul is back. I feel contented, even though I don’t make much money, I am so much happier and able to focus and appreciate on the things that are real blessings (good food with friends, clean water, a roof over my head). Quit the socials and reclaim your life!
@sunnyday7843
7 ай бұрын
We have no way of finding out what’s going on in our area - local news papers are not worth much for local happenings . I found wonderful things going on that were where we had experienced people coming together - so I agree partly with you . But how else will folks spread the word ?
@daniellegraham4412
7 ай бұрын
@@sunnyday7843 yes, I agree with you; socials do have good attributes too, as you said rural areas, and fun local meetups.
@pendafen7405
7 ай бұрын
You're on KZitem comms, though...
@jtowensbyiii6018
Ай бұрын
Only the rich can ignore reality, poor people REQUIRE social media to even have a small chance of getting a job
@fleurmk
8 ай бұрын
On teeth, this discourse reminded me of a recent case in France : dentist Lionel Guedj was found guilty of more than 300 counts of malpractice and mutilation on patients. He practiced in the northern districts of Marseille, where people are predominantly poor, and access to healthcare is scarce. He committed social security fraud and told the patients they needed full teeth removal and prosthetics set, or tooth crowns, only yo be able to get social security money. The surgeries were always poorly and quickly done. This man lied to patients who were only trying to get rid of pain (some of them only had a few cavities and got tricked into having all their teeth devitalized and crowned), and he sold them the dream of pearly white healthy teeth. They instead got severe pain, trauma, and social distress due to f*cked up, rotting teeth. Even in France, where we have some social security, dental health and appearance is still the biggest social marker, with the poor not getting treatment as it's scarcely covered, and sometimes getting duped by greedy "professionals"
@watermelonlover745
8 ай бұрын
I've noticed lots of poor people in USA have missing teeth, especially if white
@marisolania2696
8 ай бұрын
Omg! That dentist is horrendous, what an awful person to permanently mutilate people like that!
@Ella-g2m
8 ай бұрын
I assure you this happens often, especially the US. Sounds just like my crook of a childhood dentist who destroyed my entire mouth before I even turned 18. I just had another dentist try to upsell me on a crown. I got a second opinion and they didn't see any cavity at all. Unfortunately poor people (like my parents) "can't afford" second opinions, even when ultimately it would likely save them much money, pain, stress, and preserve their health which is priceless. Even if you grow up and have disposable income there is no way to undo what these fraud dentists have done. I sure hope that hell is real because some people truly deserve it.
@melindahajdin
5 ай бұрын
In California Medicaid will not pay for molar crowns. If you get a cavity in a molar, Medicaid will only pay to have every single tooth in your mouth pulled...and then buy you cheap dentures. Happened to my roommate.
@oonda6812
8 ай бұрын
The advantage of ugliness (over beauty), is that it lasts.
@Porcelynnn
8 ай бұрын
What’s so advantageous about being ugly and ugly forever?
@kathrinscharrer3923
8 ай бұрын
So true.
@MaraSamsara
8 ай бұрын
😂
@Harken4949
8 ай бұрын
It only gets better with time! 😂
@P-Funk69
8 ай бұрын
Lololol
@cherylcarlson3315
7 ай бұрын
As a girl who sprouted to 5'11 by 8th grade with bad knees,acne, braces and ever thickening glasses it was my mother telling me how ugly I was esp as my blonde hair went to ash blonde. I ignored her mightily and wore peasant skirts, went braless,danced whenever I could even if partner was short. I dressed for comfort and if it repelled, all the better. Settled at 6'1 being glad the ortho didn't shorten my legs as I begged in HS. I studied how Bea Arthur and others commanded space and attention and emulated. Now at 66 and cane dependent, most days I would be content to simply be nude if not in sweats and fleece. When I do dress up it means war, my only cosmetic is chapstick. Disability really messed with my aging perception but made it seem even more insane to seek to look younger with a neuromuscular disease, easier to let people think I am old.
@macummings7818
7 ай бұрын
❤❤❤
@empyrosenterprises1837
7 ай бұрын
Wow you are #goals
@paulmaxwell-walters8861
8 ай бұрын
I am mixed-race British-Filipino. In response to the question about non-Western beauty standards I should mention that I just came back from holiday in the Philippines and was amazed by the focus on light skin as a measure of beauty for both woman and men - including the number of beauty salons and products devoted to just skin whitening. I also noticed the comments by Filipina family members who met my (Caucasian Australian) wife regarding her light skin and and how much they loved it. I know this type of beauty standard is common throughout South East and East Asia - and it was briefly mentioned in the video - but it was revealing to see it in person.
@Erinba
8 ай бұрын
And the opposite happens outside Asia! Where white people want to be as dark as possible. Nobody is ever happy!
@SutapaBhattacharyaKolkata
8 ай бұрын
Same in India
@wahoo4uva
8 ай бұрын
light (white) supremacy 101 - it’s global (universal).
@sailorspills3025
8 ай бұрын
I’ve just come back from south east Asia. I was shocked, I couldn’t even find face wash or sunscreen without whitening agents in it. However, it did boost my self esteem because here in England I always get bullied even by my family for being pale.
@thiccactus
8 ай бұрын
It probably has less to do with race and more with status. The higher class people generally don't have to work outside where the sun is beating down on them all day while the poors do, especially back in the preindustrial era. Thus fairer skin can be seen as a marker of social status and leads to an entire industry dedicated to achieving the look perceived as higher class.
@kimjohnson8471
8 ай бұрын
I look at those skin care/makeup videos sped up to 2-4x speed, and it's STILL 15 minutes. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT 😅
@watermelonlover745
8 ай бұрын
It's ridiculous. They want me to watch a 15 min infomercial no thanx
@JP-ve7or
8 ай бұрын
I feel like most of them could stop halfway through and look great, but they just keep piling on the products.
@taqial-faris6421
7 ай бұрын
It's useless, they look as unnatural as my dead grandma looked in her coffin.
@user-gu9yq5sj7c
7 ай бұрын
There are people who have time for skincare and makeup or are interested in them as a hobby.
@user-gu9yq5sj7c
7 ай бұрын
@@watermelonlover745 Makeup is art and a hobby. Some people try to help people with skincare or makeup, or review products. At least those people are being honest about what skincare and makeup they use instead of pretending it's natural. Not everything has to be about you. Some people are interested in those videos.
@jackiemartin7276
8 ай бұрын
Re: Skin Care - One of the best things an older woman ever did for me in my early 20's was when I looked at my absolutely gorgeous aunt (by marriage) who was in her early 50's and said "girl, drop that skincare routine!". She looked me dead in the eyes with so much love and said that she is genetically predisposed to look the way she does and no amount of effort on my part would make me look like her because we are different people with different genetics. I carry that with me today.
@nattamused9074
7 ай бұрын
This is absolutely true.
@julesdm6905
7 ай бұрын
My mom is 96, has no nighttime skin regimen, and has beautiful skin. It's supple and mostly wrinkle-free, and this is in spite of having smoked for most of her life. No plastic surgery and no organic wellness lifestyle. It's a genetic lottery.
@cailllou25
7 ай бұрын
@@julesdm6905 Aging skin is not about wrinkles, but about sagging.
@julesdm6905
7 ай бұрын
She really isn't sagging either. Of course, her skin is thinner, and she's lost the fat beneath her skin which is where she shows her age. But she looks like she's had a facelift@@cailllou25
@armp8051
7 ай бұрын
I grew up with my mom telling me not to try to look like models or actresses and to look at the her, my grandmother and the women in my family. It finally clicked in my early 20s. I’m so happy that I look like my beautiful mother and like my genes mother. Even with the traits I don’t like such as my bingo wings.
@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend
8 ай бұрын
Constantly telling women that they can choose to be in control of absolutely everything based on willpower is keeping so many pockets lined. Your house would be clean if you wanted it to be, your skin would be clear if you wanted it to be, your waist would be tiny if you wanted it to be - if you just tried hard enough, on top of also being financially successful if you just prioritize it over everything else, and emotionally successful if you are just nice and palatable enough. If you really wanted to have it all, 24 hours in the day would be enough to be financially successful, romantically fulfilled, socially successful, skinny, pretty and a perfect housekeeper. If you just wanted it enough, you would buy all our products and services.
@radicalaccounting
7 ай бұрын
awesome comment. 24 hours is not enough.
@ellenk9604
7 ай бұрын
We used to say "plastic people" back in tbe 70s. When did plastic become a desired look? Me, im all natural and i dont care if its not "desirable". Its all so bizarre.
@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend
8 ай бұрын
Also I think we need to reopen the dialogue around "being pretty". I think there's enough evidence to suggest that though "pretty privilege" is a thing, there's absolutely no meaningful correlation between being pretty and living a truly happy, fulfilling life. You can in fact be "ugly" and still live a life that proves you're attractive and valuable. We need to stop telling women they need to "feel beautiful". You don't need to "feel beautiful". You need to take care of your hygiene, enjoy grooming however you like it best, and realize feeling valuable is far more hinged on how you treat people and what you contribute to the world. Be physically ugly. It won't matter. You don't need to feel beautiful because beauty does not equal good outcomes.
@radicalaccounting
7 ай бұрын
beautifully said. thanks.
@pendafen7405
7 ай бұрын
Exactly. This makes me think of my sister's most glamourous and physically beautiful friend (well, acquaintance, now). Everyone she knows dislikes her, she has mad personality disorders and no esteem, and she has endured a history of abuse & neglect at home that only ended when she became bereaved young. Despite looking like a model or an IG girl, anyone who knows her or has heard of her avoids her and won't date her, let along hang out, so she only has ONS and has no friends. Finally, she has no skills in life because she's used to coasting into short-term jobs or scamming men with her looks to get what she needs. One of the saddest people I've ever met or heard of, who has been horribly failed in ways that aren't her fault and only has her beauty to survive.
@ashleyarlo
5 ай бұрын
Idk. People biologically want to be desirable. It’s built in so we reproduce. I don’t think this can change.
@melindahajdin
5 ай бұрын
Pretty privilege means other people treating you better, and if you are ugly, you will be rejected and hated. Sure, you can life a happy, fulfilling life...if you become a hermit. If you're a social person at all, the constant rejection can cause enormous damage that no amount of toxic positivity will fix.
@Barnacl3_Boi
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video! My partner has chronic acne and was told by his own parents to wear charcoal masks, wash his face more etc., when the true cause was a chronic undiagnosed illness. Young children of 8 are wearing skincare brands that are out of my budget as a salaried adult and it's shocking to see
@britt5753
7 ай бұрын
That orthodontics happen to make your teeth esthetically nice is a side benefit, in my mind. We got braces for our kids because in this day and age, you keep your teeth. In my mom's day, everyone had dentures fairly early. So regular dental work is great to preserve your teeth, but if you have a mess of cross bites (like i do) they wear unevenly over time and can cause a different sort of problem for your teeth and jaws. As far as the rest of it, no one is coming to save you from the hampster wheel. You have to step off yourself.
@ryoknits
7 ай бұрын
I had braces as a kid and chose to stop as soon as the orthodontist confirmed that my crooked teeth no longer posed a threat to my overall health. I have one crooked front tooth and the rest are mostly straight. I see it as one of my quirks although I know for many, it’s unthinkable to not have “perfect” teeth.
@vixxcelacea2778
7 ай бұрын
Aesthetics are often tied to health. That's why straight clean teeth look nicer to us. We naturally associate them with youth and health. Same with every other beauty standard. This is why there have been people who have started to see beauty as a right by the objective measures we have of it (mainly symmetry and balance) because the mental distress of feeling like your presentation given by genetics, or sometimes disease/hardship is it's own health crisis that people face. Not just the social part of it, but personal too. Most people are instinctually aware when someone is present on their body or about their body that is causing distress because they naturally associate it with bad health. The issue with the beauty industry is that they prey on making up new small things to feel like they are bad health indicators. There is a huge difference between say "dirty" pores and a eyelid drooping a bit that causes some vision loss. That said, I also don't find a problem with people going for cosmetic surgery. I see it as them forming themselves into how they want to look, rather than being stuck with whatever they happened to get. That said, the motive for it, as simply a minor fix to a few areas they aren't happy with, vs addiction or self hatred, or belief that it will make a huge impact on their life quality are definitely reasons to understand the motivation for it.
@LuEmanuel
8 ай бұрын
I live in a rural area and wear no make up and have no beauty routine or even a consideration of beauty. Beauty is who you are, what is in your heart. I remember being in my third year of college, looking in the mirror about to put on mascara and just couldn't do it anymore. I'm sixty-four years old and I haven't worn make up since that day in 1981. Just say no, young women. Don't fall for it all. It is a game where everyone loses - everyone. Because you'll never be the fairest of them all, or if you are, you'll be afraid that tomorrow, someone else will be more beautiful. As for job prospects, I get it. And I hate it for women to have that be an issue for them. I know women farmers, women professional gardeners, women teachers... they don't have to be more beautiful than others to be respected in their work. Maybe this is a city-living thing, or an American thing (I'm in Canada). But I think, and this video is a great example of this, it needs to be openly talked about. The power over women's sense of themselves that is wielded by influencers and advertisers needs to be seen and women need to take their power back. Don't let anyone tell you that you are not enough, not beautiful in your own perfect way, not able to do a job because you're not ... white, thin, blonde, pretty... fill in the blank with whatever bullshit you can think of... it's all disempowering. See it. Call it out. Then hold your head up high and walk away from it.
@KantoCafe715
8 ай бұрын
It is possible you are naturally pretty though, I’m not saying you’re doing a ‘stealth boast’ , you might be blissfully unaware of this and good for you. Many women are policed into compliance with make up simply by how awfully they are treated when they don’t wear it.
@sophiecamoccio
7 ай бұрын
Beautiful
@KantoCafe715
7 ай бұрын
If you’re naturally pretty that’s fine, but not everyone is.
@cailllou25
7 ай бұрын
@@KantoCafe715 even if you're naturally pretty, a moisturizer and some lip gloss don't hurt anyone. And it feels good and comforting using them as well.
@KantoCafe715
7 ай бұрын
@@cailllou25 err yea , I’m the one saying people can do what they like to feel better. The OP seems to be saying that people who try to look better are vain and shallow types . I’m all for adding a bit of lip gloss or even going further . It makes people treat you better. Not everyone has the privilege of being able to avoid judgy people. Edit: also bear in mind when the OP wrote her post her avatar was not of herself , so any replies were unrelated to appearance. She updated , adding her photo later, for whatever reason.
@tagtraumerin5077
7 ай бұрын
My work friend is from the Philippines and I am german-polish. She has quite dark skin and I am as white/pale as you can get. The other day we talked about how we both got bullied because of our skin colour in our home country and how we tried everything to become the opposite. Quite ironic.
@jutta3378
7 ай бұрын
It is ironic indeed! And then there's another tanning salon opening up in my neighbourhood so all the pale people can look like the brown people who buy bleaching lotions to look pale...it's just crazy.
@Cormorant0512
7 ай бұрын
@@jutta3378It is literally unhinged with each group trying to trade places
@soothingrelaxationandmedit68
8 ай бұрын
Most people miss it but the secret to living comfortably, beautifully and healthy is finding a way to make returns while your money works for you. My Dad, as i remember started saving for retirement quite late but I know he was making more than 10k returns from his investments monthly and it was completely passive, and he looks beautiful 😂
@valeriejeanmathis874
8 ай бұрын
This is amazing, I'm curious, how did he do it? Was it real estate? Or he was a market enthusiastic?
@ThistainByrthle
8 ай бұрын
No doubt being financially free and not having to worry much about health care and other expenses cannot be overemphasized, making smart plans and setting up diversified investment portfolios is quite essential.
@soothingrelaxationandmedit68
8 ай бұрын
Haha, investing enthusiast? Not really. Our family got introduced to a financial consultant about four years before my dad retired. That was what changed things, and I think my retirement will be on the right track too.
@gregorridavichko
8 ай бұрын
Please could you guide me on how to get in touch with your consultant? My funds are being eroded by inflation and I seek a more lucrative investment strategy to effectively utilize before I consider retirement
@Deitricklaverne
8 ай бұрын
Honestly this cannot be overemphasized, helping people mitigate unforseen circumstances and mistakes .It's always good to have a financial plan,
@pdfads
8 ай бұрын
Made me think of the time a date told my daughter that she had "expensive teeth". She had actually been pretty lucky in that department, although there was some mild orthodontic work.
@amyx231
8 ай бұрын
Was he a dentist?
@kaijuno
7 ай бұрын
Many of the comments here claim that women not spending enormous amounts of money & time on literally changing their faces and bodies is “lazy”? Why is existing without deeming yourself inadequate and in need of fixing lazy? Then many others claim the societal conditioning around beauty - which is proven to effect both income & quality of life can be fixed by “remembering it’s all in your head and it’s your fault for not just improving your self esteem”. The beauty industry is hugely profitable. It’s making that profit by conditioning young girls to hate their faces & bodies, and then teaching them that their “ugliness” is their own moral failing. (A moral failing that can conveniently be fixed by buying more products). Society treating you like shit for not meeting beauty standards isn’t your moral failing guys, it’s theirs.
@shannonwold638
8 ай бұрын
The older I got, the more aware I was of skin care marketing. I never really bought into most of it. My nighttime skincare routine consists of cheap drugstore cleanser followed by even cheaper drugstore vitamin e oil. In the morning, a quick rinse with just water followed by moisturizer with sunscreen.
@istvanpraha
7 ай бұрын
It depends on your skin tone. I often hear people with olive skin say what you say, and it's annoying TBH. I'm pale and everything shows, so retinol and the more expensive products (forgetting what some are called) are "needed," regular moisturizers just make me look wet but don't do much for me
@ashmeyer21
8 ай бұрын
I'm all for Natural beauty and better health. I learned a longtime ago before social media really blew up to like or appreciate the imperfections that make me a unique looking individual. Beauty standards continue to change and evolve and it is impossible to please everyone at any given time Self love and being content with the most healthiest version of yourself should always be the ultimate goal.
@onaraisedbeach
8 ай бұрын
It's so depressing seeing a tidal wave of forum posts from people in their late teens to early twenties asking for anti-aging advice, and the constant fixation on life supposedly ending at 30 - often commented on ironically, but with a pinch of sincerity - drives me nuts. Like my child, you are 22, your life isn't almost over. They even say that crap in ads for therapy apps, yikes! I'm mid-30s and feel 'younger' than I have in years, despite having zero work done and barely any self-care regime beyond mental health. People have always feared aging, but the dominance of social media has turned it into a dreadful obssession for people who, to me at least, look like they still get their school lunches packed for them. It's insane. Touch grass, make real life connections, and wear your scars/stretch marks/wrinkles/"imperfections" with pride.
@mariegro09
7 ай бұрын
I agree I also find the focus on life before 30 baffling. LIfe is way better when you get older. But I do wonder why are everyone talking about wrinkles in the 30s? It's not something I have noticed at all.
@loonysama105
8 ай бұрын
You talked about eating disorders and body dysmorphia. But I wanted to add a different perspective. I don't have actual research to back this up, just experience and observation. Some people who have been through sexual trauma, especially child sexual trauma, suffer from self-esteem issues and live with crushing shame. Intentionally or unintentionally making yourself "not beautiful" or having bad hygiene in general can be a defense mechanism against being "chosen." It can also be a way to cope with feelings of shame that you don't deserve it. Those feelings of shame are perpetuated by losing out on things like job opportunities and romantic connections. It's great to support people who have survived SA and CSA (let's be honest, no one really wants to talk about CSA because it makes everyone uncomfortable, so there's little opportunity for support there), but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty realities of being a survivor, such as not living up to societal beauty standards, there's a lot less sympathy. Especially for CSA survivors, who are literally working against programming that they shouldn't be beautiful. If beauty is understood by society to indicate unearned positive traits - like morals, trustworthiness, likeability to a certain extent - adds yet another layer on CSA survivors, many of whom can use this rubric to enforce the shameful feeling that they deserve what happened to them. Again, not speaking for everyone, but I wanted to put it out there.
@thehealthywriter
8 ай бұрын
Good point! Research revealing why some people gained weight back even after making successful strides became the basis for the ACEs (spoiler alert: the weight was or felt like a protective mechanism for people who had suffered abuse).
@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living
8 ай бұрын
This is an EXCELLENT perspective, and there’s truth in that. Recent studies have shown that between 20-30% of obese adults were victims of CSA, which supports the opinion of people using obesity as a security blanket. Bad hygiene is also a security blanket that CSA and SA victims use as well.
@nancynewman6592
7 ай бұрын
Yes I agree re weight gain as a crutch against SA. My best friend's sister had the beauty of literally Snow White but gained 75-100 pounds after sexual trauma, to change her appeal, although I doubt it was acknowledged even to herself at the time😔
@loonysama105
7 ай бұрын
@somethingsomeone4359 I totally agree.
@cmg25
7 ай бұрын
Also observed.
@nattamused9074
7 ай бұрын
Too bad more people don’t work on their inner beauty. Youth and beauty fade. It’s an inescapable fact. But character, peace, kindness, and joy last. And unlike cosmetics, you can’t just run out and buy them. You have to earn them.
@alphadogg5682
8 ай бұрын
I had to spend over 12 grand, and by "spend" I mean take out significant loans, to pay for some significant dental work, including an implant. I consider it money well spent as it would make it easier for me to get better paying jobs and it improves my self-confidence, but even with insurance from work I had to pay the vast majority out of pocket. It was a major issue for many years that affected my health, mental and physical and social well being. Yet these things are not covered by paid for insurance, never mind our healthcare services.
@MissAynneK
8 ай бұрын
Lmao I find it hilarious that Tyga made it into that montage @24:27 of men over 40 that magically grew hair 😂 😂
@camichiBichi
8 ай бұрын
I've been a skincare fan since I was a teen (15 years ago) because I was bad at makeup. As I've learnt, I've make choices, and my skincare now is no bullshit and to the point with what I do need (and cheap), no extras, no magic potions. I was considered obsesive and questioned if all that skincare make any difference at all. Now I hear recomendations of expensive useless things, because my very basic skincare makes them think I.m doing it wrong...
@sarahwatts7152
8 ай бұрын
I am having a very similar experience now that I finally have access to a dermatologist. The first appointment she mowed through my products like she was cutting grass
@racer4369
8 ай бұрын
@@sarahwatts7152all you need is a good sunscreen that you will wear daily, cleanser to remove dirt/makeup and moisturizer to keep the skin hydrate. Anything past that a dermatologist will prescribe like trentanoin/Retinols for acne.
@StarryWaters-gq1oj
8 ай бұрын
I was a teen (I'm 44 now) who looked at the sun spotted faces of my mom and grandma and said "Nope" I came of age when sunscreen was starting to be a thing and I was obsessive about wearing it and big hats in the sun. I also got into skin care early. Now at age 44, I have no wrinkles and barely any sun damage. I use cheap products but I'm meticulous about my routine and about sun protection. I don't have a single skincare product that is over $25.
@kasiaszyffer26
7 ай бұрын
Pleaaase share your routine!!
@magiclover9346
8 ай бұрын
Being too tall for a woman is like being too short for men. Can't change it yet without costly surgery it really effects your economic, social and romantic opportunities.
@cloudypolly22
8 ай бұрын
It's not true. Taller women can become models, flight attendant, and they're seen as more attractive. Shorter women are also seen as attractive, unlike shorter men, but there's that whole strong vibe lacking.
@coral_pine
8 ай бұрын
@@cloudypolly22 These professions are both extremely demanding of how you present yourself and your time - they are not what a random tall woman would be doing. There are no automatic “strong vibes” given to us And they are also not a go-to: you need to be slim (and I mean veeeeery slim in both weight and their bones structure) and conventionally attractive
@cloudypolly22
8 ай бұрын
@@coral_pine I dont understand the offence here. I responded to a post that wrongfully compared tall women to short men. Tall women are viewed as very attractive, more than shorter women actually.
@Alex-mc5yn
8 ай бұрын
@@cloudypolly22 by whom, the other women? It's a hell no from most men.
@Alliebei
8 ай бұрын
@@cloudypolly22No
@StarryWaters-gq1oj
8 ай бұрын
Another thing I think is very important is the privileged of time/energy/lack of life struggles. I went to college in the late 90s with some people I am still FB friends with. All of them married early and popped out a bunch of kids. All of them look well into their 40's since their time, energy, and money went towards raising their families and working hard. I'm 44 and childfree and didn't get married until I was 39. I had a lot more time to devote to skin care, exercise, nutrition, and focusing on my looks. I've done it on the cheap. My skincare products all cost under $25, I've never had procedures done and only had a few facials in my life. But I was meticulous about sunscreen and sun protection. I started skincare, exercising, and nutrition focus in my teens. I've been a gym rat for decades. Also I was very lucky never to have major health issues or significant tragedies/struggles in my life. I look much younger than my classmates simply because I had way more time to focus on my appearance and for much of my life, I've just had to worry about me.
@DR-it9fm
8 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing! This take is very valid, and becoming more & more the norm.
@watermelonlover745
8 ай бұрын
This makes a lot of sense. But as you age, your options to look good after giving birth fade unless you're wealthy. Giving birth is very hard on the body as you age.
@sallybrite1530
8 ай бұрын
I think I look younger simply because I didn't have kids. For some reason women don't talk about the toll childbearing and rearing takes on health and looks.
@StarryWaters-gq1oj
8 ай бұрын
@@sallybrite1530 it's both the physical wear and tear and the lack of time and mental energy to put towards beauty maintenance. Parenting is tough!!
@thesonorista7853
8 ай бұрын
I'll add, smoking. My classmates who smoked look oooold. I mean, we're all old now, but they look like ish.
@acp8760
7 ай бұрын
I do not like the instagram look. I enjoy people who are different.
@mba321
5 ай бұрын
Yeah, the big full, Kardashian clown lips are actually quite off putting. I can't believe someone looks in the mirror at those each day and goes "yup, this was a good idea."
@nightfall3605
7 ай бұрын
Phineas & Ferb had an episode that had the model agent straight up state they were looking for an unobtainable standard of beauty in order to pump up sales. In a Disney children’s cartoon!!
@xUnic31x
7 ай бұрын
Is it about Candace’s neck?
@nightfall3605
7 ай бұрын
@@xUnic31x Doofensmirtz created an EnlargerRay (tm) and Candace got hit, doubling her size (proportional). So a 10’ young woman is the ultimate impossible standard; buy our products to try to measure up! 💸💸💸
@nightfall3605
7 ай бұрын
@@xUnic31xDoofensmirtz created an Enlarger-Ray (tm) that hit Candace, making her double in size proportionally. So a 10’ young woman as a model is an impossible goal, but the company could sell the hope.
@solidstate9451
8 ай бұрын
In Germany, even poor people can afford the dentist. But we don't bleach our teeth.
@lollsazz
7 ай бұрын
Out of everything, I think what has helped is 1) exercise (which costs me maybe $50 a year, as I do it at home) 2) sunscreen 3) skincare and makeup thag dowsn't irritatw my skin 4) learning how to cut my own hair 5) cheap retinol wash for body for my face, from Biovene 6) NYK1 lash serum, when it's on sale 7) Minoxidil for my eyebrows and hair (generic version) I'm expensive - no doubt about that, but it's not the most expensive things that have helped the most to lok that way
@ruthbutah7484
8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for making this video available. I was wondering why i've become obsessed with fitness over fashion lately. Keep up the great work!
@ultravioletpisces3666
5 ай бұрын
“Wherever there is an invented need, there will always be a profitable solution.”
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