Being that this criterion has beem satisfied, skip 33 steps to Rule 3-
@mabusestestament
4 ай бұрын
Does it, though?
@Coramelimane
4 ай бұрын
I never thought they'd go through with it. But here we are, A super hero movie. With no super heroes in it.
@MarvinPowell1
4 ай бұрын
How did Cassie get back to the US as a baby from Peru, let alone get US citizenship? How did Cassie evade the police as a kidnapping suspect, especially as a known civil servant who's kidnapping made the news in another state in less than eight hours? How did Cassie drive a stolen cab to a New York City airport in post-9/11 2003 as a known kidnapping suspect, let alone make it back? How did Ben take care of the girls for a week without a single police officer coming to his home to even ask questions about Cassie? How did Ezekiel Sims not have any Spidey Sense, but all the other Spider-Man powers? How did Cassie get a huge penthouse after becoming blind and paralyzed? Did they just steal all of Ezekiel's wealth and assets? Did Mattie's rich parents give it to her? What happened to Ezekiel's assistant? How did no one go looking for a missing NSA agent who walked out her job with high security assets with her? Why was she even at the theater with such things? I have 90 more questions besides these (literally.)
@British_Rogue
4 ай бұрын
I now feel ashamed that the only I questioned when watching was the feasibility of driving a stolen taxi and the suspension of said taxi after it falling a full storey and continuing to drive.
@pdzombie1906
4 ай бұрын
Remeber how the used to set up other movies in post credit scenes? They now make entire movies to set up other movies... A two hour trailer of several movies you're never going to watch...
@HellsFallenAngel1
4 ай бұрын
Trailers for trilogies that will never exist.
@adamheywood113
4 ай бұрын
I was bowled over by the scene where Madame Web gets home from the forest, only to find Ezekiel sat on her toilet, reading a comic book. Then the toaster finishes and she blasts him with a MAC-10 that he'd left lying on the counter. Gripping stuff. Pure cinema.
@IMAMONGUS
4 ай бұрын
I loved the story her mom told about the gold watch, pure art
@sztallone415
4 ай бұрын
the true indicator of how far we've fallen is that I completely don't know if you're joking or not, or what part of your comment is exaggeration. I can't
@adamheywood113
4 ай бұрын
@@sztallone415 if I may put you out of your misery, my comment and the other guy's reply are both referring to _Pulp Fiction._ If you've seen comments like these from other people, it's kind of become a meme at this point. You take a bad film and say a scene from a great film happened in it. It's a way of poking fun at how terrible the film is.
@Gyrfalcon312
4 ай бұрын
Deep cut, man! 🤣 Love it.
@sztallone415
4 ай бұрын
@@adamheywood113 ah, right, now that you mentioned it I remember that scene
@PrivateIvan
4 ай бұрын
I worked as an extra on this film (for the chase through Grand Central Station). The film was being made under a different title, but extras seeing who the cast was could easily figure out what the film really was. I wish I could slam the production, but everything went smoothly (as far as it was noticeable to the extras). It was a long shoot, but that wasn't uncommon, and all the PAs and assistants were quite professional. On that day, there was no chaos in the production. On the other days, who knows? Thanks for another great video!
@markiangooley
4 ай бұрын
I suspect heavy changes to the film, possibly long after your part was shot? But I can’t know for sure.
@sheadoolittle
4 ай бұрын
Competent production crew unfortunately does not mean it will be a good movie.
@ciaranmurren
4 ай бұрын
Fireworks exploding holes in brick walls and helicopters but Cassie deflecting them with corrugated iron.
@The_Reality_Filter
Ай бұрын
girl boss *stuff*
@IAmTheEagleHTM
4 ай бұрын
Gotta love how bad a movie can be that you can fit 50 (out of God knows how many) problems in a 9 minute video
@tylerdurden788
4 ай бұрын
First 10 minutes with paramedic scene showed me what i was in sto r r for
@tagir9123
2 ай бұрын
I counted 951, what do you got?
@quantumofconscience6538
4 ай бұрын
I'm not sure why we should believe EITHER score from Rotten Tomatoes. R.T. is no "outsider." It IS Hollywood.
@nexus_of_a_crisis
4 ай бұрын
At least Dakota has the good grace to exude zero interest during interviews, the best version of herself giving off utterly disinterested Robert Mitchum “I’m paid to make ‘em, not watch ‘em” energy.
@gnarwhal7562
4 ай бұрын
This is one of those movies that I expected to be complete dog sh*t, and it was somehow worse. Truly a feat of cinema.
@darthlaurel
4 ай бұрын
How anyone survives being immersed in water in the Amazon is beyond me.
@onequickthing8950
4 ай бұрын
I wonder if this is like Batgirl, where they intended to have more scenes with the young women as superheroes, but they didn't have the athleticism to pull it off?
@tagir9123
4 ай бұрын
"The director _______ somehow being giving clearance without any experience or know-how or knowledge of the source material" How to enter Hollywoke 101
@markiangooley
4 ай бұрын
She’s a competent director of television episodes, she’s female, maybe she has a particularly favored political viewpoint or sexuality or both? Maybe it’s because she looks cute in those glasses?
@philtanics1082
4 ай бұрын
prob has more to do with blood oaths and sacrifices
@anguswilliam2141
4 ай бұрын
I never watched Captain Marvel either for the same reasons. It's not something I'd like. Problem with this one is, not that it shouldn't exist, but it's the budget they dumped on it thinking everyone would want to come and see it. Get a Pam Anderson 'esque girl squeezed into a spider suit and you might have a hook. Every father in the land could handle that for an hour and a half.
@Eidolon1andOnly
4 ай бұрын
4:43 They even had a bombshell blonde and didn't do anything with her.
@Viddaric
4 ай бұрын
Holy shit, as an aspiring writer, if I had written something like this I'd probably just give up.
@MudkipWithShades
4 ай бұрын
Is it wrong I don’t understand most of this, but still agree this movie is awful because it just exists?
@matane2465
4 ай бұрын
I'm guessing them dancing in the dinner was supposed to be a reference to Coyote Ugly, because that movie came out in 2000 and they were trying to reference early 2000's culture.
@MrsMacLover
4 ай бұрын
unbelievable how this got greenlit in the first place. then made the way it is AND released.
@edwoodsr
4 ай бұрын
Why do I get the feeling that the phrase '50 is enough' was said while writing this script?
@queazy03
4 ай бұрын
Oh no! I had two tickets for Madame Web in my car, but somebody broke the window and left two more tickets. Stay safe everyone!
@The_Reality_Filter
Ай бұрын
😄 very underrated comment
@Loreweavver
4 ай бұрын
Ok. I can buy with comic book logic that someone could draw a sketch of someone and then use facial recognition to find them... But they're wearing masks in all the trailers. Does he even see their faces?
@billybussey
4 ай бұрын
It's almost as if people with no real life experience or talent were put in charge and failed miserably. Women.
@tagir9123
4 ай бұрын
What are you gonna do, huh Only cramps and boobs, no brains Yaaaaaaawn, oh hi, I just woke up, I've gone into cryostasis in 1948
@ThePariahDark
4 ай бұрын
Fascinating that an old blind woman in a chair in a cartoon (Spider-man) is more interesting than a movie with this level of budget.
@Eidolon1andOnly
4 ай бұрын
*Woman - singular. Women - plural.
@ThePariahDark
3 ай бұрын
@@Eidolon1andOnlyTypos, they happen. If you find them - you can keep them.
@francoiseeduard303
4 ай бұрын
I love NuMetal! I gave up Pepsi for Lent.
@pinatacolada7986
4 ай бұрын
3:12 "It's a good thing - you had no idea - today was the day - you were going to die". Someone wrote this, then a team of people read it, thought it was fine, then the actor said it on set, then a team of people edited it, then it was test screened and it made it to the final version of the film. Amazing. What the fuck is this world? What have they done to us?
@rogerhalt3991
4 ай бұрын
7:32 firework factory explosions are intense, like that huge one in Mexico a few years ago. Imagine if Director X made a movie, this is what it would be like
@robmclean4352
4 ай бұрын
1:03 It's quite possible that the original script was actually *better* than the finished product, because the editors were just that incompetent!
@unknittedbrow4884
4 ай бұрын
Since the year 2000, there have been 41. FORTY ONE Marvel/DC superhero movies. I stopped paying attention after Spiderman 2. Didn't need to see 3. By that time, I was like "yeah ok, I get it." The average American apparently needs to re-watch the same story 39 additional times and even then, ONLY when the films FINALLY start to illustrate that they are not marginally, not mostly but COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY bereft of both quality cinematography and original story-telling do they start to "get it." Dear god that is depressing
@anguswilliam2141
4 ай бұрын
Then they reboot it. 🤑
@md_vandenberg
4 ай бұрын
@unknittedbrow Every story is just the retelling of every story before that. No need to be a fucking blowhard and pretend to be above it all. I'd say "you must be fun at parties" but we both know you aren't invited to any.
@rogerbartlet5720
4 ай бұрын
I wonder how long they will be able to afford to make intentionally bad movies?
@tagir9123
4 ай бұрын
Until they're down to "only" a couple dozen millions and realize "oh, shit. I've got shareholders and massive taxes to pay"
@CurtisDofMontana
4 ай бұрын
#52 Chekhov's Pepsi killed the Temu Spider-Man 😂😂😂
@scottblasingame9789
4 ай бұрын
I love the part where Cassie says it's webbin' time.
@qn3734
4 ай бұрын
Her surname is Web? How stupidly contrived 🤦♂️. What’s the name of the next protagonist of the next spinoff? Billy Arachnid?
@homerhat420
4 ай бұрын
Shambolic is a great term.
@JammaLamma
4 ай бұрын
Pfft Mauler woulda found 3,462 worst things. You need to do better Senator Chamberlain 😮 but seriously, fun stuff thank you.
@radioflyer68911
4 ай бұрын
Knew it before it was made. If a major studio decides to make a movie today you can bet the farm it's going to suck.
@Firevine
4 ай бұрын
Granted, I didn't read _all_ of the comics from the J. Michael Straczynski era Spider-Man, but I do not recall Ezekiel being a villain. Morlun was the villain. That actor would have made a great Morlun. *Why isn't he Morlun* ? *THE CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE IS BASICALLY MORLUN*
@Eidolon1andOnly
4 ай бұрын
Could be an IP/rights issue that had him not be Morlun. It's a Sony production, not a Disney/Marvel Studios one.
@free_at_last8141
4 ай бұрын
It's impressive that you were able to keep this list so short.
@davidhoffman6980
3 ай бұрын
Man I thought "Madam Web" was just a description of a female Spiderman. I had no idea that the woman with spider powers was actually named "web." What a coincidence. That would be like if the Falcon's last name was Feather, or if the Wasp's last name was Hive.
@GorensteinMedia
2 ай бұрын
"I had never seen an action scene with a Britney Spears song." "Only a woman would think to do that!" Russell T Davies, _The End Of The World._ The same song, no less.
@christopherescobar10
4 ай бұрын
51. Sony making this movie simply to keep the Spider-Man movie rights from expiring.
@CurtisDofMontana
4 ай бұрын
#52 Chekhov's Pepsi killed the TEMU Spider-Man 😂😂 #53 Madame Web is worst then Battlefield Earth..
@comyxcon4gaming860
4 ай бұрын
How do movies like this get greenlit in the first place? Why are they toning down female beauty and femineity; especially in Sydney Sweeney's case in this film? Why does the movie look like a early 2000s disjointed, quick cut music video with anachronistic technology that didn't even remotely exist in that time period? Why is Dakota Johnson's "acting" so wooden, emotionless, stiff, and at times, robotic? Why does the film imply that her meeting of the Spider-people tribe, whatever the fuck they are, inspired Peter Parker's costume? Why is the dialog so utterly atrocious as if it was written by an ADHD-addled teenager? Why did the film waste such good characters in such a mediocre, dull, pointless, amateurishly plotted film? Why is Hollywood in such dire straights creatively and artistically?
@Eidolon1andOnly
4 ай бұрын
4:43 If the entire movie showed off these assetts it'd be a more enjoyable experience.
@comyxcon4gaming860
4 ай бұрын
@n1andOnly No, the movie would still be mediocre regardless, but I get your point on that aspect.
@Eidolon1andOnly
4 ай бұрын
@@comyxcon4gaming860 I never said anythig about the movie being any better, just more enjoyable.
@comyxcon4gaming860
4 ай бұрын
@@Eidolon1andOnly Enjoyable in a morbid sense, I suppose.
@Eidolon1andOnly
4 ай бұрын
@@comyxcon4gaming860 Morbid? Seeing a hot blonde is morbid?
@VideoClam
4 ай бұрын
Point 7 is utter shit. I’d GLADLY take 2003’s culture over today’s over woke hellscape.
@mxvega1097
4 ай бұрын
51. Manages to ruin all prospects of live action versions of better female spidey characters - eg Cindy Moon / Silk. Maybe it's a mercy. My hunch on the script rewrites is that - in addition to incompetence - lawyers were duking it out offstage - there is a veritable giant slalom of steering around IP/rights breaches.
@gersonribeiro374
2 ай бұрын
It's not the just the internet, in the immortal words of Gary Oldman in Leon the Professional, it was EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@unclerukmer
4 ай бұрын
I wonder if Echo liked this movie.
@davidmahoney3804
4 ай бұрын
This movie was "written" by AI prove me wrong.
@darksiders18
4 ай бұрын
IDK if anybody hate me for this, but I love Dracula Untold. I remember seeing it in the theaters when it came out.
@graizur
3 ай бұрын
Not surprised that I'm not surprised Madame Webb was shot in a Spanish television soap opera style and yet no one notices or comments on that style of storytelling. Madame Webb is your Spanish grandmother's favorite superhero movie. And The funny thing is not only do you think that I'm insulting somebody but the environment around me thinks that I'm insulting somebody. What the **** is so shameful about the existence of a Spanish grandmother going to the movies Spanish grandmother Spanish grandmother Spanish grandmother are you okay reality?
@johnbrainard566
4 ай бұрын
Johnson can act, just watch the Suspiria remake. Her best bet would be to disown Madam Web and move on as quickly as possible.
@Igelior
4 ай бұрын
Haha amazing. The more I learn about this movie the more I am convinced that it tried to be campy intentionally but it either got messed up or cut down on during editing^^ #releasetheclarksoncut
@tjimicole2677
4 ай бұрын
Exciting to see the rivalry between the drinker and echo continue to grow. While drinker's "Madame Web - the Best Movie of the Year" video will undoubtedly prove more successful due to the cultural bias of him having millions of followers, I believe that Echo will ultimately be on the right side of history by stunningly and bravely defeating the fascists with 50 facts about Madame Web that Big KZitem doesn't want you to know. What's that? The drinker's video was satire you say? Well to that I say satire is a tool of a coward.
@memoryhero
4 ай бұрын
I honestly can't believe they're still doing this. I honestly can't. It's been that long.
@user-yb2kh2lt4m
4 ай бұрын
Well, I do not agree about 2003 not being able to cause nostalgia. Just because you are older and experience nostalgia over 80ies or 90ies doesn't mean that there are no other people, who would remember 2000s with warmth. Many, many of those people, who are now in their prime paying customer period of life, are the ones who were teenagers and early young people exacly at that time. They have no problem with seeing some Avril Lavigne style clothing (exactly as we wore in high school!) instead of overrepresented puffed sleeves (mom's style).
@Gyrfalcon312
4 ай бұрын
This right here. My main source of those nostalgic memories is this timeframe.
@xtheflabeox8813
4 ай бұрын
A paramedic would never get into a car that's flipped upside down about the fall off a bridge it just wouldn't happen not even in a movie
@blankadams3120
3 ай бұрын
"Do you know how difficult it is to track three women you've only seen in your dreams?" Police sketch artist, my dude?
@ShadowMan64572
4 ай бұрын
Why am I the only one who seems to be irritated by the fact the movie takes place in 2003 yet there's a guy playing a PSP at one point?
@richardlawson4623
4 ай бұрын
Seems legit. An admirably efficient and yet comprehensive coverage. I'm starting to think I'll have to watch it once it gets to cheap rental.
@billybussey
4 ай бұрын
I always think this after these reviews and then when I go to watch the film 10 minutes in I quit.
@bk138gt6
4 ай бұрын
It's strange as Dakota Johnson has given at least one really great performance, specifically in the brilliant 2018 Suspiria remake. She was great in that
@DrCheeks
4 ай бұрын
Yeah she seems like she can act and that she’s not a complete tool. Don’t know why suspiria had to be remade though🤦🏻♂️
@briannehammack1951
4 ай бұрын
Ya the moment I heard Dakota Johnson was starring I knew it would be a turd. While others have managed to outgrow there nepo baby title due to talent she is the finest example of it because she has none. If they got a piece of wood to play the character instead of her we wouldn't know the difference.
@CurtisDofMontana
4 ай бұрын
I have a Nepo Baby worst then Dakota Johnson.. Jaden Smith they should have passed Jaden Smith as the bad guy then it would have been the perfect turd movie
@CurtisDofMontana
4 ай бұрын
They should have cast Jaden Smith
@PeterPan-cy7oy
4 ай бұрын
" believe me , its a good thing you had no idea today was the day you weregoing to die" häh? only when u are sentenced to death can u know that thats the reason i cant sleep tonight thinking about this nonsense sentence and why is he wearing clothes but no shoes?
@newmancl0
4 ай бұрын
Wow........ this actually makes me want to waste 2 hours of my life watching the movie more than the trailers did........
@xtheflabeox8813
4 ай бұрын
I hate Disney but I hope Marvel goes after them for disillusioning consumers look it up it's a real thing
@dr.manhattan6278
4 ай бұрын
All Arachnids were insulted by this movie 🕷️🕸️😂
@unkown34x33
4 ай бұрын
51: Sony doesn't give a damn, and didn't learn a damn thing.
@JeghedderThomas
4 ай бұрын
It's subtle, but I can sort of glean from all this, that "Madame Web" may not be a very good film.
@dannykolasinski-nm6yn
4 ай бұрын
Lovely stuff
@combatking0
4 ай бұрын
If I were watching this movie I'd envy the blind.
@spanishthroughenglish1985
3 ай бұрын
This movie is so bad that you cannot watch another movie for a long time
@scottgun
4 ай бұрын
4:37 "Foodsies are yumsies!" I got feminist script-writing bingo!
@humanbeing2420
4 ай бұрын
Dakota Johnson looks really hot in that red suit she'll never wear in any film.
@jaredgrzanich2585
4 ай бұрын
I disagree with #7. 2003 was good times!
@catsofsherman1316
3 ай бұрын
Is it just me or does that director look like a Rachel Maddow doppelganger?
@Nicksonian
4 ай бұрын
Um, WHAT? Could you repeat that? This is an actual production you’re talking about?!? I just don’t understand the entire concept. Somehow David Byrne could turn random phrases into great songs. But turning random ideas into a movie just doesn’t work.
@metatron3037
4 ай бұрын
Looks like a low-budgeted adult indie to me
@conroc01
4 ай бұрын
C'mon let's agree on the obvious....this movie is a money laundering scheme.
@spanishthroughenglish1985
3 ай бұрын
How the hell you receive a lot of money, millions of dollars to make a movie as an artist or as an actor and you can't even watch your own movie that is really really lame.
@elguinolo7358
4 ай бұрын
The script was written by ChatGPT.
@pigeonpoo1823
4 ай бұрын
Dunno why, but i feel compelled to buy some coca cola
@chadakoin1
4 ай бұрын
"Dakota Johnson" would have been a great name for one of those ersatz products like "Extenz".
@MarvinPowell1
4 ай бұрын
Nah. Nebraska Wang is a far superior product!
@Eidolon1andOnly
4 ай бұрын
"Kentucky Longwood" has a better ring to it.
@Midtable1881
4 ай бұрын
Never mind SJ Clarkson, Jeremy Clarkson would've provided a better screenplay.
@adamheywood113
4 ай бұрын
This is possibly the best _Spider-Man_ movie... ...in the world.
@Luciana_McC_99
23 күн бұрын
I loved dracula untold.
@murdermatics
4 ай бұрын
I dont think anyone had ever seen a woman before they started hiring people.
@migueldejesus3010
4 ай бұрын
Hope you don’t get offended but by tne 2:50 mark I couldn’t take anymore of this, sorry. Thank goodness half the populous knew this was going to suck before this crap even got made, glad I missed it.
@aa64912
4 ай бұрын
Yes, but is Dakota naked? 😂😂😂
@Eidolon1andOnly
4 ай бұрын
Under her clothes, yes.
@CurtisDofMontana
4 ай бұрын
#51 Madame Web is worse than Battlefield Earth.... Not a small feat...
@backgroundnoise9310
4 ай бұрын
Move effort put into this vid then the movie
@FreeFree-ur4zq
4 ай бұрын
So you are recommending the movie?
@British_Rogue
4 ай бұрын
On the bright side... 🤔 Sydney Sweeney is playing a white woman with red hair. So, if this film is ever remade in the future, her character will be a black they/them. But for now, it's a small victory.
@httm241
4 ай бұрын
Maddame web is Gen Z Catwoman
@nolanwine5062
4 ай бұрын
I must be in the minority, but I find Dakota Johnson to actually be charismatic (outside of her performance in the film). I rather not have a film (particularly this one) forced down my throat with a lot of obviously feigned enthusiasm
@gasgaslex_photos
4 ай бұрын
Surely this film was made by 12 year olds in school
@superdlucks
4 ай бұрын
Not your best work, but thanks!
@edenbreckhouse
4 ай бұрын
Only 50?
@RuhrRedArmy
4 ай бұрын
I don’t think the fact the director hadn’t done anything of this scale is a red flag, but the writers certainly were.
@LordRollo
4 ай бұрын
No wonder stuckman wouldn't review this.
@alikorvus8558
4 ай бұрын
nu metal 🤘00s great time !
@vladpiranha
4 ай бұрын
Thank you for mentioning how awful the early 00s were. Without question, the douchiest time period I've experienced.
@AT-AT-AT-AT
4 ай бұрын
the only change in fashion is that in 2003 wamem were whorinhg themselves for free.
@Passionfullofart
4 ай бұрын
Watching women protest abortions has more action and a better arc story than whatever madam web has given us
@Eidolon1andOnly
4 ай бұрын
*arc Unless we're talking about Noah.
@Passionfullofart
4 ай бұрын
@@Eidolon1andOnly my auto correct did that ha just noticed ark q
@Eidolon1andOnly
4 ай бұрын
@@Passionfullofart Happens to the best of us. Have a good day.
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