Good talk. Last week was listening to a great talk by an autistic person on how deadly small talk is for many on the spectrum. Replies in the comment section were brilliant! Most saw social interactions as creative interactions. Many feel drained and confused by "normal" conversations. No kidding! Aren't we all "dependent" on "inter-dependence" ? Don't we all thrive better in "quality" relations? For me, it is the honest connection I love,where-ever it takes me. Last couple of months the consistent themes I noticed were, people's fear of being seen as a " defect, not good enough, a failure" Over, and over, and over. Why do we block the road to our inherent inter-dependence?? There are many-y-y autistics who are better at empathy and social interactions than neuro-typicals . A phrase I read. "Autism . . .is it's own kind of normal" What else is there?? There is my "rant".
@GreenLad38
3 жыл бұрын
Good points, thank you for sharing them.
@thekajalflaneur
2 жыл бұрын
I love "Autism is its own kind of normal" thankyou! 🥰
@brianmeen2158
Жыл бұрын
“How deadly small talk is for many on the spectrum” This is accurate. My entire life I never understood why small talk was not only not enjoyable for it but it straight up drained me . . I avoid small talk all the time
@Im-BAD-at-satire
Жыл бұрын
@@brianmeen2158 There's even countries where small talk ain't even a prominent aspect in the culture, and even not a concept in many cultures.
@1videoormore
10 ай бұрын
That was hard to read, but soooo insightful. I really hope u fix that ❤
@sillysam9
Жыл бұрын
I’m pretty sure I’m undiagnosed autistic, but growing up in the Middle East, this kind of stuff is shunned. I’ve always struggled but things esp got worse after I travelled to study abroad which I’m currently doing. I feel so bad for other students whenever they are forced to be in a group project with me because I literally go through a mental freedze out and stop talking, which I’m trying to overcome. I swear sometimes I literally become mute. Does anyone relate to this?
@gastgast967
11 ай бұрын
Ich wünsche dir viel Glück.
@gastgast967
10 ай бұрын
@@sillysam9 Bitte.❤️
@Drstrange3000
10 ай бұрын
I definitely relate to this feeling. It actually has gotten worse. I'm trying to figure out how to freeze less or be more comfortable with silence. I hope you learn to get better with this as well. Be kind to yourself!
@juancana457
10 ай бұрын
I've shunned social interaction except for close friends and significant others. Most people seem to be seeking an emotional echo chamber, so I've learned the blessings of speaking little to not, in public.
@gastgast967
10 ай бұрын
@@juancana457Stimmt.
@like90
Жыл бұрын
I haven't made new friends in years. I want a new friend, but I just haven't been able to make any.
@josueacunauwu
Жыл бұрын
This is so stupid. I AM so stupid. Why are there some people who just do it naturally, but it's hell for me and need to learn step by step what I have to do to be "normal"?
@JardindesLiliths
9 ай бұрын
Don't be so hard on yourself,we all need some assistance from time to time and you're not alone I struggle with this too, sometimes I wish I had some kind of script for what to say and not mess up 😅
@josueacunauwu
9 ай бұрын
@@JardindesLiliths Another fox o.o? (Also thanks
@judeperks6612
7 ай бұрын
You're not stupid, don't worry!! I completely freeze up in any conversation, but I've learned that's okay. It makes it harder to get through life, yeah... but I love myself regardless, because everyone's different, and that's just how I am right now. That's not to say I'll always feel this way, but being charming and charismatic really isn't the most important thing in the world. It's your actions that speak louder anyways.
@lively2242
Ай бұрын
@judeperks6612 what ur saying is so true😢.Thank you for this comment.
@shanesorensen7878
Жыл бұрын
The one piece of advice I could give is try to find like minded who have shared interests is often overlooked.
@juliadesiree2021
2 жыл бұрын
Wow, just by listening to you I realize that I probably am autistic.. I never thought about that because of a wrong idea about autism. But I can totally relate to a lot of things you are saying, thank you for doing this ❤ You said something like “When you don't feel like going, don't go“.. that's true, but I often get really stuck at this step.. trying to figure out if I feel like going or not. Often I feel like I want to go to a social event and at the the same time I don't want to go, so I spend a huge amount of time and energy to make a choice. It's draining. Does someone recognize this?
@HolisticDramaFree
2 жыл бұрын
Girlll this is me rn.
@cedricvervaeck6100
2 жыл бұрын
Yes, and a lot of things should be good before you go. The friends , the music , sort of public,…
@Telonelemon3
3 жыл бұрын
Ive always loved autistic people. They are so genuine.
@Uraim
2 жыл бұрын
I talked with people other than my family was 2months ago ... I have no friends (I have some but some of them feel like that im talking with random people) No topics whatsoever. I also have brain damage, Parkingsons disease... I cant really talk with in my native language (Mostly i mix my native language with english, due i dont know the word that im trying to say, my native language is Hungary). Full mess. Backstory: My dad not liked me, he discriminates aginst me, he just likes my big bro, i have got 10-12year of abuse at school, at home i got yelled at all the time. My mom needed expensive medicine to make me, she was 35at the time i was born, it was very late for her. Something may happened with me that i cannot function properly. Im not able to make friends, no one helps. When i told my mom about that i cant able to do that, she just laughed and she told me that im normal. So we did not went to doctor to identify that. I can identify the Parkingsons disease, due i see things very frequently that is not there, and after like a few second it does disappear (Halucination). And about the brain damage: sometimes i dont know who i am, or my bro name (Real story, my mom got an android phone for a first time and she dont really know what do things, and he wanted to add my big bro to her friend list, and my dumb frick brain didnt know what is my big bro name), or someone name, that is very close to me. I forget it and i dont know.
@gabe7790
3 жыл бұрын
Hi as an autistic teenager struggling in the pandemic thank you so much for this. This saved my life
@bluming138
Жыл бұрын
You can tell from the camera avoidance 🤧🥺❣️
@frozenlillypad2070
2 ай бұрын
My reason to go to social events is usually the food 😂
@GreenLad38
3 жыл бұрын
You are vey honest and open about autism. I really admire you. I believe that I am on the autistic spectrum.
@GreenLad38
Жыл бұрын
@Yuqing Lee I believe that autism is a life long condition, there is no cure.
@raymondb62
3 жыл бұрын
Well put Jess! You have a great Xmas as well and don't feel rushed to hurry back. We'll be here for you when you feel you have new content to post :)
@zatara24601
Жыл бұрын
This is very helpful. You're good at putting words to a lot of the scripts/frameworks I didn't even realize I was doing
@firstlast9855
24 күн бұрын
You say this video is for friends but what if I don't have any?
@enensis
7 ай бұрын
You are gorgeous.
@ValerieHernandez-ye1mw
Жыл бұрын
I really appreciate your videos. I feel so alone.
@youkzappeij2500
10 ай бұрын
i can relate the look aways in the video so well with myself it starts already by looking at the camera
@alecfromminnenowhere2089
9 ай бұрын
OMG, I am so much the same. I didn't know how to socialize until college either. It was amazing how a few books helped me so much. Also I plan social events ahead of time and think to myself what I'm going to say and not say. I also critique my interactions afterwards and think of ways to improve them. Wow, it's a relief that I'm not the only one. Thanks.
@ChristopherLaw-qv4ou
6 ай бұрын
My god she is so radiant with positive and joyous energy I am not even trying to flirt or trip here she is both beautiful from the inside and outside. I am sure if she was in a Hollywood film Brad Pitt would want to date her and if she was in a Bollywood film Shah Rukh Khan would probably want to marry her as his second wife.
@autismion
6 ай бұрын
Mess? Nah. You should look at my desk.
@keanaramchatesingh4328
2 жыл бұрын
She seems a bit emotionally distant when it comes to socializing. I myself am definitely not a social person, I feel like social interactions are somewhat evil. I don't believe in having a plan when socializing because I feel like it should be spontaneous and free spirited. Having a plan would cause anxiety and depression. The only tip I agree on is setting boundaries. I just have alot of social anxiety when it comes to being myself. I wish other people were free spirited and loving in social interactions as well.
@cedricvervaeck6100
2 жыл бұрын
You are very beautiful. I’m suffering an autistic burn-out . I wasn’t diagnosed autism but that test is in my opinion not completely correct and can not look inside you and daily i have to deal with it. Especially since 2 years that i have a autistic burn-out , the autism skills got worse. Mentally en physically exausted , not being able to listen long to people or music,…. You probably recognize the following: - Is it right what i sat? How do others react? - conversation with less people is more easy - stress can be 5 days with you about a certain subject,… Well Just wanted to share. Have a good day. Are you available to chat now and then? If not it’s ok ! Writing you from Belgium.
@DOSE379
Жыл бұрын
Study psychopathy my friend, trust me.
@anjachan
Жыл бұрын
I want to be alone to much ... my mother had to force me to meet a neighbour friend once in a while 😅
@cedricvervaeck6100
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve learned myself to let it go ( the time planning ) but i still feel bad if i have to follow a group and have no control about the activities
@MarieWilliams-t9w
4 ай бұрын
I have ADHD and Autism I have learned it's best to keep it polite with people that I'm on friends with. I always had bad communication with people because I would try and make conversation with people. And get in people's way. People these days are too interested in themselves. And don't want to talk to people if they don't want to. Especially if they hardly know the person. And it's best to not always overshare because people don't really care if people are saying anything that is not in their interests. They might say Shut up or I don't care. But as soon as people say something that is in their interests like money or opportunities that they can get. A lot of people will push their luck and try and persuade us to give it to them. I have learned to always do what is sensible. Don't listen to people who try and make fun of us and say something scarcastic or play practical jokes on us.
@matthewbennett2735
11 күн бұрын
This video isn't really applicable for most people on the spectrum. But it's great that you've found something that works for you.
@Почемучка-т6в
2 жыл бұрын
Yes, having a plan is def something I noticed helps!
@MartinDlabaja
Жыл бұрын
Finaly somebody like me. Feels nice to know. :)
@grendel7360
11 ай бұрын
Yaaaay another Christian
@user-us3cb2oq9c
6 ай бұрын
Similar for me i had really bad social skills until college bet then it later went downhill so i just tried to stay put because I tried to talk about my problems and got literally ostracized.
@BAR0N48
Ай бұрын
I struggled with depression through out all high school and didn't start making friends until I left because I went down self imrpovement and tried to do an identity shift into someone I want to be
@Epic-so3ek
6 ай бұрын
hi I just wanna say that it's really cool to see someone similar to me in how you think about goals and "frameworks" and stuff like that. This was a good video! Helped me a lot!
@liligonzales6534
3 жыл бұрын
you look like ramona flowers!!
@summero-my5in
2 жыл бұрын
I don’t see it 🧍♂️
@foljs5858
Жыл бұрын
@@summero-my5in I do. The haircut, the eyes, the cuteness, the slight awkwardness
@Thrivinginthespotlight
4 ай бұрын
She definately looks like Ramona Flowers actress Mary Elizabeth Winstead
@justmemyselftarot6649
Жыл бұрын
I WANT TO THANK YOU I JUST FOUD OUT I BEEN LIKE THIS MY HOLE LIFE IM 37 MUST BE A TUFF ONE CUS REALIGION SCHOOL EVEN MY JOB I STRUGGLE BEING MORE OUTGOING I LEANED MORE TWORDS SPIRITUALITY BUT IMA TRY TO GET MORE INVOVED IN GROUPS WERE IM FORCED TO TALK I KNOW ITS OUT OF MY COMFERT ZONE IMA GIVE IT A TRY THANK YOU YOUR COOL I LOVE YOUR ENERGY
@janetmcnish-counsellor3712
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for your authentic and practical video. You're courageous and beautiful. I'm learning a lot from you. God. bless.
@waypasttheline
2 жыл бұрын
You remind me of boxxiee from when I was in highschool, but grown up and sophisticated. Keep rocking it!
@Sideshowbrooke
Жыл бұрын
There’s a name I haven’t heard in a while 😂
@constantinosassiotis1999
Ай бұрын
Thank you
@sourslime
Жыл бұрын
Love this! Keep it up! ❤❤❤❤
@giftofthewild6665
Жыл бұрын
Thank you, these tips helped.
@michaelvandenheuvel317
4 ай бұрын
It’s difficult isn’t it. Thank you again. Happy to see remember you.
@nonyobisniss7928
3 ай бұрын
You're so beautiful. I'm trying to learn social skills now.
@_munkykok_
3 ай бұрын
#BEAUTY
@pernilladomander7648
3 ай бұрын
Agree, bible studies are great for socializing. A goal and a set timeframe really helps.
@burgerhero9380
5 ай бұрын
I Just had to grapple myself to watch this afterwards after failing a social situation miserably at the doom near a receptionist.
@hipoint40cal39
2 ай бұрын
Well, what happened?
@GodWordWisdom
5 ай бұрын
my son also diagnos as autism. thanks. he is now 7. worried so much since he is still young. and i am old. so afraid if God will take my life. who will understand him or who will care for him. he doesn't have sibling.
@KB-lp4oj
Ай бұрын
God is always there for those who doesn't have anybody. He will definitely open many doors for him and you would never stay alone. So left everything on God if you are really helpless.
@Goldflower220
Жыл бұрын
honestly i didn't have much social skills until college as well
@michaelvandenheuvel317
6 ай бұрын
Wait Invite me along.
@salmayasser8406
3 ай бұрын
امتزوجٌ انت؟
@user-sm9tg4rc1n
3 жыл бұрын
This helped a lot
@bonajma
Жыл бұрын
I'm an autism too.😃
@driggertigerclaw
8 ай бұрын
Your cool💪
@1videoormore
10 ай бұрын
Why is your channels likes hidden? Its on every video
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