Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.
@Mia1827
10 күн бұрын
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
@PrettyTasha-k8q
10 күн бұрын
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
@Mia1827
10 күн бұрын
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
@Mia1827
10 күн бұрын
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
@PrettyTasha-k8q
10 күн бұрын
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
@tarkov666
12 күн бұрын
Key step: You walk away. Give them a 2nd chance if you want, but realize it probably wont get any better regardless of what you do.
@suepete
11 күн бұрын
Spot on! I'm living this right now and it's not good. At all!!
@Beautytrends77
9 күн бұрын
I did this cycle with a DA for 2 years and me as a secure attachment turned into an anxious attachment. I broke up with him in july and i can honestly say that for anyone that has been in this type of relationship its better to walk away, heal yourself and move on to someone who can attach in a healthy manner. My ex said he wasnt going to change so i believed him and walked away. Some people just dont want to deal with who they really are and change into a better person, they would rather stay the same and not evolve into a healthy adult. We all have our issues but you have to be willing to recognize you are the problem so you can correct it and become a better person!!! Love and relationships are work and you need someone whos willing to put in the work and love you properly ❤️❤️
@AaronNazzy
5 сағат бұрын
How are you doing now? Have you found someone new, yet?
@StarryLight-e9v
12 күн бұрын
Would love to see more on when an avoidant is the dumpee not the dumper, and how they move forward/boomerang in that scenario This is esp relevant to FA/DA kryptonite relationships since they can take turns breaking up
@craignason4258
12 күн бұрын
I agree 👏
@StarryLight-e9v
12 күн бұрын
@@craignason4258 so much is dedicated to avoidance = dumpers but in a lot of insecure attachment relationships I see ppl taking turns
@SunshineAndSnowflakes
12 күн бұрын
They come back. They'll typically start putting feelers out there within a few weeks to a few months and if they see a positive reaction, they'll likely see if you want to get together. I can't speak for all, but in my case anytime I've broken up with an avoidant, this is how they respond.
@garyforbes8711
12 күн бұрын
In my exes case, I'm sure the suffering part wasn't anything. She was seeing somebody else already, which is why I left.
@kane3678
12 күн бұрын
I do like your videos however, it’s very repetitive and it’s the same as old videos just from a different angle. Hope to see new topics/ concepts around attachment theory
@Bornie1977
11 күн бұрын
I guess there is not much more to say about the topic at this stage.. 😅
@danaboyson4524
9 күн бұрын
We started off at friends n caught feelings but never actually dated…he would always just ghost and come back telling me he feels safer just closing off n shutting down. It’s hurtful cause it leaves me wondering wtf …n yet again he’s gone silent so i haven’t reached out and figure he needs to work on himself and heal from his past. I do care for him tremendously but I gotta care for me more ❤ thank you this was helpful
@19katsandcounting
10 күн бұрын
I think anyone who is with a DA needs to accept the break up the first time. Don’t let them back. Easier said than done. The lesson is more for us than the DA.
@hareslikerabbits8066
12 күн бұрын
My now ex is dismissive avoidant (I’m anxious) we have constantly fallen out and got back together, it feels like the end this time. She doesn’t want to talk, though I hope we can make up and work things out. :(
@MccormickRomeo
21 сағат бұрын
Very meaningful..! Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 10 -year relationship.
@djmikey97
12 күн бұрын
I broke up with my avoident just over 3 weeks ago. I was exhausted doing all the work with very little return on her part. Explained this many, many times before I ended it and she acted surprised. That told me everything I needed to know and now she wants to do all the good deads, wants to talk, texts me all the time with words, no actions and now a possible re-connection? I am not interested and simply just want to give her closure but not sure if I should just go dark. That's not who I am and spent almost 2 years with her.
@craignason4258
9 күн бұрын
One thing I have learnt is don’t do something you don’t want to do. If you are unsure, just ask for some space for abit. In that time you will figure out if you want to keep in contact or not. I did the same (for a month). And decided that I was okay not having my FA around anymore and not being in the dynamic is a blessing once you look back on the relationship
@nappyfries
12 күн бұрын
I’m a FA & we unblocked each other (he unblocked first) but that’s it lol no reaching out on either side & not sure that either will.
@rudania
12 күн бұрын
So why did you unblock him?
@nappyfries
12 күн бұрын
@@rudania honestly I don’t have a good reason. I had been drinking & was thinking about him
@afterdinnercheesesnack
12 күн бұрын
@@nappyfriesgirl I did the same and I wasn’t even drinking lol just me and my delusions 🎉😂
@nappyfries
12 күн бұрын
@@afterdinnercheesesnack yeah sometimes delulu IS NOT the solulu lol but I mean he unblocked me first so there’s that 🤷🏻♀️ lol
@Alixir1228
12 күн бұрын
@@nappyfriesbeing an avoidant IS being delulu
@juliet8678
12 күн бұрын
Thank you, such great advice! 🙏❤️ Why wait till a breakup? It would be better to START every relationship having these honest conversations (about boundaries, what works and doesn't work, etc.)
@CeeP211
12 күн бұрын
We did. Didn't matter. Sigh..
@sweeetheaven
9 күн бұрын
i think he is pursuing another interest or an ex.. not sure why he pulled away after our chemistry and our bond. we went deep into our childhood traumas and we supported each other on how we felt. think it was a situationship, known each other for 28 yrs, but got close for the past 10 months. he has too many women on his social medias.. i am so hurt and confused, feel so used and emotionally abused. worst heartbreak ever in my life. feel destroyed.
@kristallyzation
12 күн бұрын
8:34 get clear on what needs this person was filling in my life and figure out how to fill that area myself
@ge0rgialiv
12 күн бұрын
An you talk about how an avoident might come back, I mean my ex said she lost feelings for me I’m wondering how she would reach out if she did and like how what to expect and how to handle it to not overwhelm them etc Thank you for these videos you’re helping me so much x
@KD-hy3bi
3 күн бұрын
He boomeranged 3 times.
@Apbt-rv7zw
9 күн бұрын
Avoidants won't discuss these things.
@rosa-safiahconnell7114
4 күн бұрын
Well a dismissive avoidant has just got me pregnant during the first two months by deliberately not taking precautions on his side. So I just have to accept he doesn’t care and is going to leave me alone with this child 😢
@Julia-um4rv
12 күн бұрын
I have a very specific situation that I'm not sure had been studied a lot. My twin sister is cognitively impaired and mentally ill. I feel like I have maybe an FA style, but it doesn't fit neatly into the definition of trauma that I often hear about. Do you know anything about the trauma that happens to special siblings? I know this topic doesn't fully relate to this video, but I feel like creators often don't see my comments on older videos, so I was hoping you would see this video and respond. I feel like in a lot of ways, I abandoned my own needs on my own because my parents seemed so stressed by my sister and I didn't want to upset them further with my issues if that makes sense. I relate to both anxious attachment and avoidant attachment. I really struggle believing my needs are important or valid, but I often lose myself to relationships as well.
@Julia-um4rv
12 күн бұрын
And just to clarify, my parents were really great about not parentifying me like I see a lot of parents do with their non disabled child. My parents always stressed that my sister was not my responsibility and they wanted me to feel free to live my life and not feel like I have to take care of her. They even put us in separate schools since we're twins so kids and teachers wouldn't confuse us all the time since we look so much alike.
@SkrentyzMienty
11 күн бұрын
This is a very good question. I am lurking on videos like this due to my interest in psychology, and yes a (gay, for context) relationship where we fall in the anxious-avoidant push-pull cycle etc but, we need to remember relationship attachment styles are a) a general category and not giving the full depth b) there are scars and psychological frameworks which exist that aren't necessarily linked to attachment; What you say about abandoning your needs, when no one forced you to but the situation did (so in a way you had to but not because your parents forced you but because you are so empathetic and felt you had to step up) is something that I've seen referred to as "caregiver fatigue" - I personally relate a lot, perhaps look into it. Essentially I have a similar (I won't go into details) story of chronic disability of a close family member growing up; nobody was to blame, i love them very much etc, so there is no "trauma" in the attachment sense, but it has really impacted me on feeling overburdened and feeling like in adulthood my time alone to recharge is never enough. I suppose it could mimic avoidant attachment, but it is not only towards my partner but towards everything, i feel like i never had time to catch up with myself, i keep cancelling on friends too and just dread so many events and parties and am still figuring out what my real hobbies are, as when other kids/teens were partying or trying hobbies i was either busy doing adult duties or depressed and worrying about everything. Maybe you are not the same but I imagine to some degree there are similarities. All the best to you and to your sister too, hope you manage to find yourself and find balance so you can be there for yourself, family, and partner/s, but first I do feel you should look into the burdening of caregiver burnout indirectly affecting you, in a different way than the typical anxious/avoidant topics which mostly just assume someone was either bused or spoiled by parents.
@SkrentyzMienty
11 күн бұрын
& just after re-reading your comment how you relate to both anxious and avoidant attachment (same, I feel i am someone who can feel other people and perspectives a lot and understand opposite mindsets at the same time) - I relate too and it also from what I understand relates to being a hghly sensitive person (HSP); essentially (in massive oversimplification of course) avoidants fear being engulfed/invaded, anxious fear being abandoned, whereas maybe what you feel is not only invasion & abandonment ( which you could also feel) but ALSO more things like feeling worried for the wellbeing of others, feeling tuned to their moods and needs/problems whenever in the same room, as you have an instinct to jump in to help if there is an emergency. So there is a sense of urgency and anxiety, and a sense of wanting to be left alone to have a time to breathe, but it is not coming from 'relationship' with a specific person, but the whole sense of monitoring and being aware things can go to shit and also when you need to isolate it's not only because your partner is nagging, but because you feel depersonalised and don't really know what you even want when there is no one to attend to or no one needs help. I'm projecting of course but just sharing so you can see if it rings some bells with you too. best wishes
@Julia-um4rv
8 күн бұрын
@@SkrentyzMienty thank you so much for your comments. I do resonate with a lot of that. Thankfully, my parents did not expect me to take care of my sister, but I felt like I needed to quiet my own needs so as not to overburden my parents. Maybe that's what's added to my lack of connection to myself.
@tash14-s7e
12 күн бұрын
in no contact with my FA ex (leaning heavy avoidant with my anxious side) for over 2 months, so well see if the boomerang affect takes place..this is my first time dealing with a situation like this so its been hard to go through but I have no intention of breaking contact as I am working on myself an living my life while he's watching all my stories..
@JosephPallares
12 күн бұрын
I removed my DA ex (im anxious) as a follower after 4 months no contact and after she continuously and attentively watched every single one of my stories. Consistently within the first 5 people to watch every time. I decided to set a boundary and only accept direct communication IF that is her intention. Good luck to you and stay strong
@sifublack192
12 күн бұрын
Just a heads up for those who don't know, if you want to see all the comments under your post, go to the comment section and click on "newest" next to "top." You'll see all the responses you missed.
@GelatoHighNote
12 күн бұрын
It’s been 2 months( she said she just don’t want to be in a relationship and to work on herself) what yall think?🤔
@jagcf
11 күн бұрын
She does want to be in a relationship, just not with you. Simple and clear. Move on
@kevinkurgansky4479
11 күн бұрын
@@jagcfhmm. Not always. Sometimes they just feel overwhelmed with emotions and feelings and fears and associate it with relationships and decide that they don’t want anything to do with that right now. It’s unnecessary complication to them
@chowar001
9 күн бұрын
I had the same thing happen verbatim. After 6 months of dating meaning multiple road trips, spending weeks at a time together we had a small disagreement about a travel arrangement she said some hurtful things I didn’t respond & a week later she texts me for my address to send my shirt I had left at her place. She mails it & I receive it and reach out & disregarded what she said and tried to make amends & get things back on track & she stayed distant & ended up ending things a week later with those exact words “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now”” I don’t want you in my space.” “I have to protect m”
@MilesIncognito
12 күн бұрын
"Avoidants Do THIS After A Break Up"? oh I was sure the answer was going to be "Drink too much" But you mean like AFTER AFTER, not RIGHT AFTER.
@ramblinwreck24
12 күн бұрын
What do I do if my GF dissappears from me/goes silent? She's not communicated anything with me, and I've genuinely done nothing wrong at all. We've been in a relationship for 3 months so it's odd to just disappear. Especially since we've been so in love this whole time and then she's gone with no info at all. Not even a breakup message, which I KNOW she's the type that will just say her mind no matter what... it's frustrating
@n1icolas
12 күн бұрын
There could be another person she is getting a supply from ..
@ramblinwreck24
12 күн бұрын
I thought about that, but she's also avoiding some of her friends. One of her friends also messaged me to see whats going on with her because shes avoiding her as well@n1icolas
@n1icolas
12 күн бұрын
@@ramblinwreck24 Mine was cheating and friends didnt know until one friend said in a pack room why are you using tinder ..
@dallo6196
12 күн бұрын
Find someone new forget her she’s just trouble
@tash14-s7e
12 күн бұрын
they were probably triggered and overwhelmed by their strong feelings for you..dont chase them and wait for them to come back you, I know it can be hard
@poekiepoes
11 күн бұрын
“My” DA ex is my neighbour, we dated for a short while when he started to pull back and I ended it. I think he was blindsided by that. After a few weeks of him avoiding me he came to apologize for insulting me and after that he has been coming around with - what feels like excuses - a few times (asking if I want something he wants to get rid of or borrowing stuff etc). We have been chatting a few times but nothing vulnerable from both sides. Leaves me wondering what his intentions are…?
@whatt.2065
12 күн бұрын
Mine broke up with me. I was the first to tell her that I loved her and she had only said the three words once in her life. But the she just broke up, went numb and cold and when I left her the space she needed and contacted her a couple of weeks later she never responded. I tried three times and would never hear from her again. I just do not know why.
@glsn3825
12 күн бұрын
When was it? Sorry for ur pain 😔
@whatt.2065
11 күн бұрын
@@glsn3825 hey, thank u. She broke up end of June :( cannot move on though I should.
@glsn3825
11 күн бұрын
@@whatt.2065how long have you been together, I think she needed more space and no begging pleading
@whatt.2065
11 күн бұрын
@@glsn3825 I sent some texts to reassure her I am still there. She is FA. But now I learned she is DA after the BU. All in all it was 3 months.
@chowar001
9 күн бұрын
I have been in no contact for over 9 months after getting ghosted after 6 mons of dating during the power struggle stage over a small travel arrangement disagreement.
@theenderman64
12 күн бұрын
Please don't stick to such timeframes: 4 months post breakup, 11 weeks radio silence...still nothing
@ihiroe
12 күн бұрын
general guidelines don't apply to every individual situation
@SunshineAndSnowflakes
12 күн бұрын
It depends on the situation. Also, I find that male avoidants come back more often than females. As a healing FA, if I break it off I'm not reaching out. If the ex does I'll generally be responsive if it ended on a decent note. Aside from that, I stay pretty quiet and move on.
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
12 күн бұрын
Get personalized courses, live webinars & Q&As, and more for free for 7 days! attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?WETFo&el=youtube
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