5:05 "Jesus got crucified" "Yeah but he didn't have an Uzi" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@piposanchez
2 жыл бұрын
I lost it here
@MrLegovas
7 жыл бұрын
- They gonna kill you Paul - No, i`m gonna be like a god, like Jesus - Yeah! And what happened to Jesus? LOL. Bill is awesome
@miami_mutilator
5 жыл бұрын
MrLegovas yea but jesus didnt have an uzi
@joniahdemarco3371
3 жыл бұрын
@@miami_mutilator "Yea, doth the Lord sprayeth a clip into thine enemy. May peace be restored upon His land once more. Amen." -Jeezy 1:87
@SuperBrendan3
3 жыл бұрын
@@miami_mutilator 😂😂😂😂
@fumothfan9
3 жыл бұрын
@@joniahdemarco3371 💀💀💀
@77mpickett
9 ай бұрын
Jesus didn't have an UZI 😂😂😂😂 I just go to South Park "Yay my children look upon me and know me, but know this......I'm Packing 💥🔫
@alexanderson5590
9 жыл бұрын
"but he didn't have an uzi"
@lightschunk
9 жыл бұрын
And he doesn't speak their language. He doesn't speak French or Native American.
@alexanderson5590
9 жыл бұрын
+Rodney Schunk I thought it was a halarious comment. I'm not agreeing with it
@cbryan3549
8 жыл бұрын
+Alex Anderson went to the comments to see if anyone quoted that lol
@cbryan3549
8 жыл бұрын
+Alex Anderson went to the comments to see if anyone quoted that lol
@KPho150
7 жыл бұрын
you don't have to say shit when you have an UZI
@dbridge416
7 жыл бұрын
That shit about Ben Franklin getting his hair blown off by lightning made me fall to the ground i was laughing so hard
@jasonm7948
2 жыл бұрын
I know man. I've listened to this for the 1000th time and I still fall out every time. 🤣🤣🤣
@jasonm7948
2 жыл бұрын
I know. That's why Michael Bolton has that charity... kills me every time I listen to it. I fall out laughing..
@phaeton01
10 жыл бұрын
what happened to jesus? they killed him, he didn't have an uzi LOL
@youtert
6 жыл бұрын
A time machine, coupla Uzis and a pair of Kobe 11's? It's over, man.
@RySpirit
7 жыл бұрын
LOL this is gold. Make this a movie. it would be so funny
@jonjone661
3 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of that skit from the Chappelle show of the haters ball and them going back in time smh. Would just be ridiculous lol
@PilloTheStar
11 ай бұрын
Paul being so confident in his plan while bill desperately tries to explain to him why it would never work is peak comedy.
@dead_yellow
5 жыл бұрын
I love bills and pauls back and forth, its like bill is the older brother tryin to talk down his insane little brother
@Cruxweaver
3 жыл бұрын
This is probably my favorite segment of anything ever done.
@jameschauvet3140
3 жыл бұрын
As a devote listener myself, I gotta say the same, this is just brilliant on too many levels
@williamdavid9272
Жыл бұрын
1 year later….he’ll yea I just stumbled on it tonight
@Wavemaninawe
Жыл бұрын
This is easily up there with Patrices extreme makeover of the United States.
@tommy_noble
3 жыл бұрын
"Wanted: Guy in hoody from the future, he's been here 20 minutes, and has killed 600 people" lmao
@internziko
4 жыл бұрын
Paul: "i have everything" Bill: "you don't have anything"
@briano8936
6 жыл бұрын
Lmao @ how serious they're getting throughout all of this.. "I don't like how you think you're street-smart in every fucking era"
@edwardross4015
5 жыл бұрын
This was such an absurd conversation. Comedy gold.
@nohabloemojislosiento4930
3 жыл бұрын
Could you imagine how easy Lewis and Clark would have had it if Virzi showed up with a speed boat, some ATVs and a couple assault rifles?
@Wavemaninawe
7 жыл бұрын
This never gets old. Timeless classic.
@TheGeneralsHQ
3 жыл бұрын
This is the funniest conversation I have ever heard 😂
@hotdog5178
6 жыл бұрын
They're practically describing the first scene in the movie time cop, and they have no idea.
@Isaiah-ft5nx
5 жыл бұрын
Bill is way smarter than he lets on.
@leviboswell9510
4 жыл бұрын
Dude I think that all the time. I feel like smarter people are more humble about their intelligence
@dalenlotterhand6137
3 жыл бұрын
MaxamillionGrey erm.. this is a 6 year old video Trump wasn’t even a thought then I’m so confused by your comment
@Nippleless_Cage
3 жыл бұрын
@MaxamillionGrey That's true... Dunning-Kruger
@MrBuzzman21
3 жыл бұрын
@@dalenlotterhand6137 Dont waste your time. He is just another narrow-minded liberal with an agenda blaming everything on earth on 1 person he doesn't like.
@erod425
3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like yall listen to alot of morons
@ethangonzalez9265
7 жыл бұрын
This is awesome, i would pay money for more bill and virzi.
@steveaustin5344
2 жыл бұрын
Anything Better podcast. Your wish came true.
@hawk_346
5 жыл бұрын
“I read about shit.” -Paul Virzi
@H2O1608
7 жыл бұрын
Virzi is hilarious !!! This is the stupidest discussion I've ever heard but it's cracking me up . Virzi can't be serious right now
@grapeape888
8 жыл бұрын
He would be killed, his uzi stolen and an engineer would take it apart and study it for a few months, figure it out, and push weapons technology forward by 200 years.
@matthewheywood8532
4 жыл бұрын
MorbidManMusic they would figure it out pretty quickly especially if around the 1800s when industrialization started . If he went back further it would take longer but by the 1800s they knew the gun and were already working on multi shooting guns
@Marcus-gh8bh
4 жыл бұрын
Dude im high and your profile picture fucking scared me
@kevthepoet
3 жыл бұрын
FACTS
@judek1170
2 жыл бұрын
Him being sold pn his idead is hillarious. Im so confused as to why he only chose to go back less than 2 centiries ago. He would still likely get shot, especially dince machine guns where on the way. He really coulda said the same thing but just go back to the 13th century.
@banwavy
3 ай бұрын
Lots of other technologies would be pushed forward as well. Tons of the mechanisms in guns are the same you can use in many other appliances and machines
@pashiatus90
3 жыл бұрын
17:15 I died 😂😂😂 The scientists are gonna figure out that you’re a stand-up comedian
@williamleroux3768
8 жыл бұрын
French and Indian war was the French and Natives fighting against the British.
@cereal-killer4455
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah I was gonna say the same. It’s not like the Mexican-American war, it’s the French AND Indian - British war.
@zipzone
7 жыл бұрын
I'm black so most times before 1900's are horrific for me, unless I go back to when africa had kingdoms and even then, they'd all be very unimpressed with my non warrior uneducated ass. I couldn't compete with warriors or scholars back then. I'd just have a bunch of stories about shit that will exist in the future but no real knowledge on how to recreate them.
@TityMuncher713
7 жыл бұрын
become homeboys with mansa musa
@kamarikucheza
13 күн бұрын
@@TityMuncher713 SHUT UP
@devilstoast2703
8 жыл бұрын
Holy shit, this might be the single greatest thing I have ever heard! Thank you for this XD
@Y2JLionHeart
8 жыл бұрын
Virzi is hilarious.
@ipellly
5 жыл бұрын
The single funniest segment of his podcast career
@lobitopr
2 жыл бұрын
Their narcissistic vs sociopath segment is freaking awesome too.
@evanschulte6153
5 жыл бұрын
Honestly, the "learn Latin and go to a Roman Coliseum" is probably one of the best answers for this question. That would be hella interesting
@evanschulte6153
5 жыл бұрын
You could also just go to jail in Louisiana and you can see some Coliseum gladiator type activity lol
@MMCLLC7
6 жыл бұрын
Bill burr's time travel sound effect was fucking perfect
@quisthegreat6538
9 жыл бұрын
These two are great together
@hysteria347
10 жыл бұрын
lol charity for people struck by lightning.
@tracystephens5014
5 жыл бұрын
Lmfao!! I was waking ppl up in the house at that whole part
@magicblini
4 жыл бұрын
It's somehow funnier when you see it written
@antonydrossos5719
6 жыл бұрын
I think this post is important in that it shows ladies the EXACT answer to "What's on your mind?"
@5112jake
3 жыл бұрын
6:48 "show up on a battlefield" *bweooo-wiip* had me dying
@ThePsychoReturns
10 жыл бұрын
These guys have to read "A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court" by Mark Twain.
@zenoftupac9096
5 жыл бұрын
This is reminiscent of The Evil Dead & Ash’s “BOOMSTICK”.
@spacemancam
4 жыл бұрын
“I got this, fuck the musket.” 😂😂😂😂
@spacemancam
4 жыл бұрын
7:07
@adams1458
8 жыл бұрын
13:40 lolol I'm running up the hill with a wind breaker
@Brownalicious
8 жыл бұрын
Virzi's got a friggin amazing laugh. I think ol' Freckles gotta bring back the pride of Jersey back on his ol podcast theaaaaa
@mrTacroy
9 жыл бұрын
Plus, in the 1800s they had canon and fairly heavy artillery. I cannot possibly imagine a single dude with two uzis winning against a 40k men army with artillery. All they have to do is stand very far and carpet canon the battlefield. In the rare event of the army rushing you, how many bullets can you fire? And when comes the time to reload what do you do as hundreds of men rush you with bayonets?
@kain7513
9 жыл бұрын
mrTacroy Having thought about it you make a solid point.
@Brastius
8 жыл бұрын
Pretty sure this guy has never picked up an Uzi in his life. He'd miss more times than he'd hit, then get bayoneted to death.
@thedoppleganger88
7 жыл бұрын
nevermind the fact that no matter what u got, youre 1 man and u still got 1000 guns pointed at u at once. one of those bullets is bound to take u down lol
@Ligierthegreensun
5 жыл бұрын
He should have said he would take a nuke with him. THAT’S how you’d win a war for your side and you wouldn’t end the world since your nuke was the only one. He’d probably be too dumb to be far from the nuke when it went off so he’d end up dying.
@jwright3234
4 жыл бұрын
“You sound like you’re sitting on a stoop right now” hahahahaha
@Marco-fr3bf
4 жыл бұрын
These two have the best dynamic lol
@wulfclaw4921
4 жыл бұрын
......"and then they could tell all the rebels, Hey! I gotta guy !!" LMFAO Paul is ready to go !! Hahahahahahahah 😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣
@cereal-killer4455
3 жыл бұрын
What are you gonna do for food Paul? Are you gonna Uzi a deer? 😂😂😂
@croissantlover1
2 жыл бұрын
6:43 - I wanna win the game for the team. That's what im saying. - That's very narcissistic behaviour here Paul. - You know-.. - You just think you're gonna show up on a battlefield - They're going to be-.. - BEEEEWIIIIIIIIII - You fuckin' showing up, walking out of this thing, with-.. - Yeah. - With a hooded sweatshirt and a fuckin' uzi.. - Yeah, naw. I was laughing so badly to this part, especially the sound effect Bill made.
@kevino2578
2 ай бұрын
I missed the page in my history book where it said Ben Franklin was shitfaced flying a kite 😂
@dannysmith2040
4 жыл бұрын
You guys are so funny 😂 The chemistry between you is perfect 👌
@Sir_Robin_of_Camelot
4 жыл бұрын
"I read about shit" lmao
@darr3263827
8 жыл бұрын
Definitely one of the better podcasts.
@llYossarian
2 жыл бұрын
February 28, 1997 - Two bank robbers equipped w/ fully automatic weapons are sidelined and ultimately taken down by cops armed almost exclusively w/ pistols and shotguns...
@bendover8751
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@lobitopr
5 жыл бұрын
They would be smearing you in the papereth. 😂
@chandyboi2976
4 жыл бұрын
By far the best convo between bill and another human
@PiranhaPT
9 жыл бұрын
Paul should grab a freaking machinegun rambo style, with an EOD vest, a grenade launcher and lots of ammo, teleport right in the middle of the roman coloseum and start spreading havoc. I bet he actually did that and that's why Nero burned the whole city to the ground lol
@Ligierthegreensun
5 жыл бұрын
But then he’d fuck up the whole space time continuum because he would completely have changed the past wherein he changes the course of his ancestors’ lives, making it a strong possibility he’s never born. Which collapses the universe because it’s a paradox.
@Twobarpsi
5 жыл бұрын
This is your own narcissistic head-trip, and it's going to bring you down!
@ol2510
5 жыл бұрын
I love how ppl are saying there should be a movie about this - there is, and it's called Black Knight with Martin Lawrence. He just didn't have an uzi :D
@skaterdude14b
10 жыл бұрын
In these weird, workout clothes from 300 yrs in the future LMAO
@imbatman8472
9 жыл бұрын
this is fucking hilarious
@johnbullock8885
5 жыл бұрын
This is awesome, but it reminds me that at 31 years old I don’t and probably never will have a male best friend at this level ever again.
@kevthepoet
3 жыл бұрын
You married?
@NaturalMonroe
Жыл бұрын
Ughh this is gold
@goingcommando27
4 жыл бұрын
"I'm the one with the semiautomatic weapons" I mean even with a full auto Uzi with a max range of 100 yds against 2,000 people you're probably fuckin dead, but semiauto hahaha? Not a good idea
@AngelArm1110
4 жыл бұрын
Totally agree with Bill here, you MUST consider historical context, and it can be a mind fuck
@chuckiebrownbfly
3 жыл бұрын
1. You're takin the uzi, the ammo, take a box of matches an a pack of lighters to go with it. 2. My bro stuck his chest out an ran his mouth at my pops years ago. Nigga told him "don't go to sleep." You gotta sleep an them dudes'll bombard you then.
@RileyMerlino
5 жыл бұрын
I thought the exact same thing before hearing Bill say 1899. And being a pro athlete would actually be doable. Pro baseball was probably they equivalent of high school baseball now. No one hit home runs until Ruth came around
@jaythompson5102
3 жыл бұрын
Athletic gear was super duper expensive back then best you could do is make it yourself. Between that and working 6 days a week, 10 hours a day just to support yourself theres just no way. Kids have so much free time nowadays to pursue sports.
@77mpickett
Жыл бұрын
10:35 omg I'm rolling on the floor
@gummruchk2297
7 жыл бұрын
If I went back in time I would take books on a wide range of subjects as well as some modern fire arms and just set myself up as some countries greatest inventor.
@benjaminmcelwain162
Ай бұрын
That lightning bit 😂
@salernolake
Жыл бұрын
Paul's time travel dream sounds like the plot to "The Man Who Would Be King."
@999predators
3 жыл бұрын
"Paul i know you haven't read anything about history.." "Yeah WW2 and shit."
@chrisharrison7888
5 жыл бұрын
I totally fell for it until the Michael Bolton foundation
@beastieboy01
5 жыл бұрын
How good would it be to have a Burr / Virsi podcast!!!
@homiefromtheset7786
3 жыл бұрын
Jogging uphill in a windbreaker
@77mpickett
9 ай бұрын
I also picture versi popping out in a battle like hey I'm here to help u win then just cut to him as he's cresting a hill running from both armies mowing down red coats and continentals alike trying to escape
@goodbyeseeyalater
Жыл бұрын
lol 8:47 "I just laughed so hard,Im seein dots" lol
@dylansage4931
7 жыл бұрын
Beeyuu! "Fuck the muskets!" Lmao
@jakeadams1423
6 жыл бұрын
If bill and Paul did a stand up act Together! that would be insane
@JamesParsonsDunckervon
9 жыл бұрын
in the French and Indian war. the french and indians fought together against the brits and americans
@JLITTLE32
8 жыл бұрын
I'm surprised more people aren't laughing over that in the comments. I laughed out loud when Bill said that.
@matthewforte2382
7 жыл бұрын
and that's the story of babe ruth
@MrMaximum91
4 жыл бұрын
One of the greatest debates of all time
@CodysFavorites
7 жыл бұрын
Some of you are taking this conversation way too seriously lol
@PrivateAckbar
10 жыл бұрын
I love Bill Burr fans. Listen to this musket vs 2%4 conversation.
@unclescizzorz
5 жыл бұрын
Someone should do animation to this.
@RetroGamerEightyOne
4 жыл бұрын
I would but I’m shit at drawing
@jasonm7948
2 жыл бұрын
Yes. Genius idea.
@jasonm7948
2 жыл бұрын
Have you seen bills helicopter bit? It's animated too.
@geekrockrats
9 жыл бұрын
I'd find an opium den when they were at their peak and just stay there. The time would be short but I wouldn't care about that or anything else. I thought for a while about it and that's all I could come up with
@jamescav9316
8 жыл бұрын
+geekrockrats i gotta second that...you must be a lazy piece of shit like myself
@anonchen7656
8 жыл бұрын
+geekrockrats how you gonna live.. how to you intend to make money for your "trip"? Come on, son, you can be a lazy fuck and still take advantage of knowing shit nobody else knows.
@willg7540
5 жыл бұрын
Really? You wouldn't place wagers on events that you know the outcome of? Youd just smoke yourself away?
@jasonm7948
3 жыл бұрын
"I know stuff!"
@Boabywankenobi
5 жыл бұрын
If you made AI robots with like 8% capacity brain power...this would be the outcome of their conversation. Not death to all humans in a language we can't even speak.
@shitisbigtime
8 жыл бұрын
Hahaahhaa that Ben Franklin shit was funny as hell
@jamesfaust13
2 жыл бұрын
I tell them hey I got this!! (F*** The Musket).. 😆 LMAO
@cyberen
5 жыл бұрын
I'd go get antique clothing, go back to right after the revolutionary war and be a special guest at the continental congress so I can make sure the founding fathers fix the loopholes in the constitution to avoid the corporate dystopia we live in today.
@Rkenichi
5 жыл бұрын
Why does Virzi talk like the guys he would meet in the past are in the mafia? “I got a guy” lol
@Anonymity680
Жыл бұрын
Bill asks Nia this question. Nia goes “I ain’t going nowhere, if anything I would want to go to the future.”
@somegeezer6439
4 жыл бұрын
"I read about shit"
@Yophillips3272
8 жыл бұрын
I would make a crazy amount of 1899 counterfit money or coins, bonds or whatever and build an entire town.
@LuckyChuck795
5 жыл бұрын
I could listen to this shit all day lmao
@theempoleon78
7 жыл бұрын
I'd go back to Ancient Greece before Aristotle before Plato, before Socrates, before the Pre-Socratics and then quote everything that they said word for word. I would then take over Greece and then use my knowledge of future technology to revolutionise the world. My name would go down in history as the most intelligent and the most influential person in the world.
@imaginationastronaut6568
8 жыл бұрын
8:35-9:0 LMFAO yeah, he sure did. "I read shit"
@flapjack6495
3 жыл бұрын
This really feels like a big/ little brother relationship
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