darkblood626 the fact that it just came out and wasn’t a written I joke I had to pause and listen to the delivery to laugh twice as hard lol
@DrAlphatier
9 жыл бұрын
"You don't know how close you just came."
@carrnil
9 жыл бұрын
"When was the last time you saw Bear lose a barfight?" LMFAO
@poleag
9 жыл бұрын
Everyone's been in the zone before. This 10 minutes is a pro comedian in the zone.
@Twobarpsi
5 жыл бұрын
Bill is always in the zone!
@kicknadeadcat
5 жыл бұрын
I remember some sneaker commercial with two African dudes out in the Serengeti. And A lion spots them. one of the guys reaches into his bag and pulls out a pair of sneakers and puts them on. The other guy says do you really think that’ll make you run faster than a lion. the guy says no but I’ll run faster than you. Lol
@mightyraccoon7155
2 жыл бұрын
He’s got some of the best improvisational skills of any comedian.
@JayB-ju9vc
5 жыл бұрын
imagine getting chased by a shark and as soon as you got to the shore it jumped up and chased you 😂😂
@bradleehill9662
6 жыл бұрын
I lost 5 lbs laughing. That's why every car has a backup camera.
@Twobarpsi
5 жыл бұрын
A shark at a bar with a reverse oxygen mask LOL
@emmaronan6611
7 жыл бұрын
wow that's a very talented ant...smooosh!!! I'm in stitches!
@caleb6595
8 жыл бұрын
"I would just pick up rocks along the way and stone it to death" lmfao
@madjackalwes776
4 жыл бұрын
I wonder how tough a bear or a crocodile or a Lion would be when they are attacking you and you start to stab them many times with 2 fucking big sharp knives while you are screaming in pain and with adrenaline rush. I 'm dying but you will not live much longer you fucking crazy bear!
@pianospawn1
4 жыл бұрын
@@madjackalwes776 dont think you would get in many blows. Lions are huge and RIDICULOUSLY strong seconds after the pounce you'd be incapacitated.
@The-Dom
3 жыл бұрын
'You remember Roger Ebert before he died?" roflmao savage
@ccm4052
4 жыл бұрын
"...it's called the buddy system.." !
@andersonash9059
3 жыл бұрын
Read it just as he said it.
@ShamanSquirrel
4 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂 "fat people cant back up cars" I feel attacked!
@brunoleite8380
2 жыл бұрын
Seal - Verzi 100% 🤣
@stevethomas760
3 жыл бұрын
"My chihuahua killed your pit , how? Pretty sure he got wedged in his throat"
@evanream6878
5 жыл бұрын
"So these fatties got this dog"😂
@Blargleflakes
5 жыл бұрын
4:34 nah nah bruh not all bears. Black bears u get big n loud, grizzly bear u play dead, polar bears...u dead
@Kainpound
3 жыл бұрын
Fucking thank you. When we were moving a black bear cub started digging Into our trash. My family gave me alot of shit but I grabbed a bat and charged the bear. Guy ran off, Grizzlies are a different fucking story.
@jc.1191
3 жыл бұрын
@@Kainpound Probably not wise without a gun handy.
@NefariousVirtuoso88
8 жыл бұрын
Do NOT try and outrun a bear !!!.
@TheLoobis
7 жыл бұрын
1:55 LOL! You don't know how close you just came.
@howardhayne7756
7 жыл бұрын
Their big Fred Flintstone water head can just sit there.
@billfraser5066
4 жыл бұрын
'When pitbulls go to 'fuck this mode' it's too late to take off the wig"
@sd3falco
4 жыл бұрын
"Reverse oxygen mask with water in it" lol
@mmb2211
8 жыл бұрын
Super!!!!
@nb2685
7 жыл бұрын
Burr is the king of improv I swear to god
@Nedula007
5 жыл бұрын
4:22 ... Bill, i chased a black bear out of the 1st floor from the restaurant i used to work at in Yosemite. I placed my hands up, yelled and walked toward it. Fucker ran out. Someone had left the back door open after their night shift at the deli downstairs. (Degnans Pizza Loft was located upstairs where i worked ----- don't eat the food at National Parks, bring your own food.)
@lilrara1291
4 жыл бұрын
The Maverick Mind black bears are timid asl tho,almost push overs tbh,but not completely.Plus,there was no point of killing u since it has food around it,and it wasn’t a mom with cubs
@austintylerewalkerjames2763
5 жыл бұрын
Bill Burr should be in the next die hard movie lol.
@heavyflippingrandmasboifir669
7 жыл бұрын
"Fuck This Mode!!!" is classic!!!
@chance2smoke
4 жыл бұрын
"So these fatties got this dog..."
@Blargleflakes
5 жыл бұрын
How’s the shark gonna bite with a reverse oxygen mask??? 😆
@SKa-tt9nm
3 жыл бұрын
Is that where it all fell apart for you?
@pwrinklejohnson9782
9 жыл бұрын
When it comes to you wearing a costume for a gig...lay all of the items on the floor and sit beside them. Invite the fur baby over to sniff all the items as you pick them up. Then have her watch you put each piece on,stopping between each one to praise her if she has a cool reaction. It's her seeing the sudden change in you,even if she hears your voice,that may be causing the over reaction.best of luck with the situation.
@pwrinklejohnson9782
8 жыл бұрын
+omghahaxd You have my interest. Exactly how have I throughly offended you by speaking an endearing term for animals?
@pwrinklejohnson9782
8 жыл бұрын
+omghahaxd You scared me there for a second. I thought I was out of touch with the times and the term furbaby had fallen out of good standing. Ends up I just accidentally fed a troll. Sorry to hear about your warped view on the differences between animals and humans. Good luck with that.
@Blarsen780
6 жыл бұрын
YEAH!! How dare you offer sincere advice in a comment! This is a place for indiscriminate hate and snappy insults! You take your goodwill toward strangers and you get the hell out!
@b0ssbeerreviews83
4 жыл бұрын
I always thought I was the only one terrified of the ocean, but recently realized many others were as well. Especially the Antarctic... gives me the creeps just fucken thinkin about that shit.
@mutantturtlewax347
5 жыл бұрын
Knew this was posted between December and February based on his voice. (Bills got a cold)
@pelicancovebeach2873
3 жыл бұрын
I love dogs.
@Z-Ack
3 жыл бұрын
I wonder if billy beats plays traditional or contemporary style with the stix…
@thedude8254
6 жыл бұрын
Well that got depressing
@pauldelsandro8781
4 жыл бұрын
What one of my friends looks like a seal... Bob Kelly
@TheNumberOneGuy
5 жыл бұрын
Pit bulls are good dogs :) adopt them more please
@barkan7
4 жыл бұрын
Nah
@Craig-wp3pz
4 жыл бұрын
Wish I could, American Pit bull is unfairly on the dangerous dogs list here in UK, muzzled and leashed at all times in public, not a great life for such energetic and social dogs :-(
@privateprivate2268
Жыл бұрын
👍
@Aquaboy99
9 жыл бұрын
The movie Sharknado will tell you anything you need to know about survival. You're welcome.
@LaylaSpellwind
5 жыл бұрын
I'm definitely a little overweight, trying to lose... And that back up camera thing... damn, I think he might be right.
@madjackalwes776
4 жыл бұрын
I wonder how tough a bear or a crocodile or a Lion would be when they are attacking you and you start to stab them many times with 2 fucking big sharp knives while you are screaming in pain and with adrenaline rush. I 'm dying but you will not live much longer you fucking crazy bear!
@r.b.4611
8 жыл бұрын
You shoulda got some damn treats, and taken it easy with your dog, put a barrier between you, but one she can see through. Throw her the treats. She'll work out you're her mate.
@Callico_
8 жыл бұрын
Bill seems so risk adverse, won't go in the sea because of sharks, but will have a dog that will kill him if it doesn't recognize Bill? Fuck that.
@2901gagandeep
7 жыл бұрын
The dude is a comedian.Half the stuff he says is to add to comic element.
@datsweetsansabooty
7 жыл бұрын
Calico he has that dog cause his wife wanted it
@brdgossett
5 жыл бұрын
What?
@FHBStudio
9 жыл бұрын
When fighting animals that can kill you, just fight dirty. Gouge out their eyes n shit, if you even get the chance.
@keysersozae
9 жыл бұрын
That totally works bro. You hear that on shark week?
@FHBStudio
9 жыл бұрын
keysersozae Nah I just figure it's sensible to go for weaknesses.
@shafloyd9132
9 жыл бұрын
FreeHomeBrew Okay do you know how far apart a sharks eyes are. And you would also need to stay calm, a dodge it's rampage., Not only that get so close to it's mouth that you coul reach both of it's eyes.
@FHBStudio
9 жыл бұрын
sha floyd Well the point where you attack its eyes is not when you're several feet away. It's when you're basically already caught but not dead yet.
@shafloyd9132
9 жыл бұрын
syou do understand the shark will still het you. it can smell your blood. punching it in the nose is the only logical thing.
@poncetek-1119
2 жыл бұрын
Last second you see a great white well I better swim below it. Damn ass ppl N the bear I running my ass off and if I get caught least I tried. Let me try n scare a bear yeah right
@WV_Mudpuppy
3 жыл бұрын
I've had a pitt before never had this problem, but I did have a German shepherd rottweiler mix...she's the bitch who tried to kill me (her owner) as I walked in the door in the middle of the night smh.
@beastmaster0934
4 жыл бұрын
Anything smaller than a beagle isn’t a dog. In my opinion.
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