"I want to get a gun" Best way to open a comedy special.
@reverse5163
4 жыл бұрын
*Ahhh Hear YA!*
@mrdaym
Жыл бұрын
It's between that and "Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"
@alexludavertigo6926
Жыл бұрын
Ghost gun gittin spot #grangergloryhole
@despacitodaniel801
Жыл бұрын
No context startups are funny I heard one who mid act said "I'm depressed" out of nowhere and that was the hardest I heard the crowd laugh
@MissGloria95
9 жыл бұрын
it's in the living room he's in the living room!!
@deadspace2
7 жыл бұрын
If there's one universal language everyone understands it is the sound of a shotgun being cocked back hahaha
@SirXanderKnight1998
6 жыл бұрын
Amen to that.
@spicalicious
6 жыл бұрын
Hi-Tec Jaymes *racked back*. But yes. Agreed.
@TheAdatto
6 жыл бұрын
But he ment a double barrel
@dapabur1
4 жыл бұрын
You are right...Syd....When you 'rack' a shotgun everyone gets quiet for a second or two. They all know that sound. They are waiting for the enevitable "boom". They have a good spread.
@juanarreola5346
4 жыл бұрын
True that shit
@mattburkhardt7555
7 жыл бұрын
Bill Burr just earned himself a spot on my zombie apocalypse team.
@coolman54061
2 жыл бұрын
Can i have a spot too
@xanderman7142
2 жыл бұрын
He’d definitely be like Nick from Left 4 Dead 2!
@d73w80
2 жыл бұрын
Damn, I wanted him. You up to trade?
@Kinobambino
2 жыл бұрын
@@d73w80 can I be the one guy who gets bit but doesn't tell the rest of the group
@eziokill9112
2 жыл бұрын
@@Kinobambino can I be the guy who gets shot dead randomly so we can Introduce a new enemy faction?
@brainfulify
4 жыл бұрын
"You step on a rake, in ya go!" lmao
@xanderman7142
2 жыл бұрын
If Bill was ever in a zombie apocalypse, I feel like he would end up being like Nick from Left 4 Dead 2.
@FemboyTyco
2 жыл бұрын
I can totally see it.
@ACunningLinguist
10 ай бұрын
HAHAHAHA L4D 1&2 EPIC! Have you seen the A.I. voice overs with Presidents Bush, Obama, Biden and Trump playing it through? Or Bill and Francis singing Paralyzed? HILARIOUS
@901stinababy
3 жыл бұрын
"These people get smart,flip it over, that's it! Its gotta good spread." 😂😂😂😂
@clevelandlawrence
2 жыл бұрын
Now you don’t have a problem there either
@dunewolfjr.4618
8 жыл бұрын
"One barrel for you one for me" lol that was genius
@tjay9764
7 жыл бұрын
bill burr predicted season 7 of the walking dead when he said if you can't fight your are just gathering supplies for the toughest guy on the block
@katerinarampenthal3819
7 жыл бұрын
Lmao true story. Negan is a dick
@radlightgamma4554
6 жыл бұрын
T JAY Thats just life in general...
@JohnSmith-yt5hn
6 жыл бұрын
Or maybe he read the comics and used it for comedy material?
@pawelt.5385
2 жыл бұрын
@@JohnSmith-yt5hn he just know the people well.
@sudind
2 жыл бұрын
@@JohnSmith-yt5hn I don't think he's much of a comics guy
@Anyanyadir
10 жыл бұрын
It's got a good spread.
@hunterpeterson6122
6 жыл бұрын
Life ain't a movie.
@xaviert8664
3 жыл бұрын
@@hunterpeterson6122 life is like a box of chocolate, ya never know what ya gonna get
@florentinovasquez3801
3 жыл бұрын
@@xaviert8664 Y'gonna get a good spread.
@kaidzz9358
3 жыл бұрын
@@florentinovasquez3801 yeah brother
@HisDudeness2020
2 жыл бұрын
@@xaviert8664 diabeetus... ya get diabeetus.
@spizzikes2400
10 жыл бұрын
And then these people here, they saw what you just did here, you ain't got a problem here either, feel me? XD
@osefenfait7847
9 жыл бұрын
my favorite part in the vid too i think haha
@mhks68
9 жыл бұрын
5:05 REALLY?!? Cause im gonna load it and shower with it....AUUUUUGHHH EHHHH AWWAAAAAHHH
@AndreasFilms
10 жыл бұрын
I never thought that Saul's bodyguard wouldn't know shit about guns...
@Thrashaero
10 жыл бұрын
well, apparently he knows more about them to know the typical stat spouter is full of shit.
@juandiegoprado
2 жыл бұрын
He knows more about water pollution regulations in the state of New Mexico
@SuperCrazyPsycho731
Жыл бұрын
You never thought that actors in movies and television were playing roles that weren't anything like their true selves? Ok
@mrOGbobbyjohnson
8 ай бұрын
He wasn’t a bodyguard He was an IRS agent
@Walking-MY-Path
8 жыл бұрын
"Life ain't a movie."
@dantecrowell7942
7 жыл бұрын
"you feel me"
@Walking-MY-Path
7 жыл бұрын
Dante Crowell "You ever watch a Movie a guy go blaw blaw blaw he he kills 3 people......Real life man you miss it you miss all the fucking time."
@dantecrowell7942
7 жыл бұрын
AGbaby235 😂😂😂😂
@Walking-MY-Path
7 жыл бұрын
Dante Crowell LOLZ
@mckenzie.latham91
6 жыл бұрын
The only people who miss are those who don't practice, so yeah that's why so many people miss in the states with handguns.
@mate.feed.kill.repeat
2 жыл бұрын
A lot of people are really surprised when they figure out pistols are harder to shoot accurately then your grandaddy’s rifle or shotgun
@vanimaladventures
2 жыл бұрын
*relevant username*
@nikotheophanis8795
Жыл бұрын
Hes right you will miss all the fucking time unless u are in a movie, a pistol which is harder to get good with than a rifle or a shotgun just shoot a gun and try not to flinch its not as easy as u would think
@gokuss15
Жыл бұрын
@@nikotheophanis8795 sort of. I’ve always been more accurate with a pistols, they’re easier to keep steady because they’re much lighter than long guns. Go try to shoot a bolt action at 100 yards (which sounds like a lot but is nothing) watch how much that scope wobbles when you breathe or your heart beats.
@SuperCrazyPsycho731
Жыл бұрын
I don't know. I'm more dangerous with a pistol than a rifle simply because its less time to take aim. I'm really good with both though. 😆 Also archery
@grammajam3682
Жыл бұрын
shotguns are op ah. they'll mangle you at any range if you are in its general line of fire. easy to load too
@th3lukewarm
9 жыл бұрын
''One Barrel for you, one barrel for me'' Jesus Christ I don't get why the audience didn't laugh harder at that, I almost drop off my seat.
@FrancoDFernando
9 жыл бұрын
Mr SaTuRn Same thing with the Golddigging Whore segment of this act....I was literally rolling in my seat, I was laughing so hard...but the crowd was so quiet for how funny it was
@acecalderon8376
9 жыл бұрын
Shitty crowds full of uptight people makes for a lot of awkward pauses
@elliotthedissident6077
8 жыл бұрын
+Ace Calderon People generally call them "libtards".
@stevenjames6766
8 жыл бұрын
agreed!
@Walking-MY-Path
8 жыл бұрын
Those damn PC liberals!
@brandonjeffers7164
6 жыл бұрын
His pantemime while screaming HE'S IN THE LIVING ROOM!! Is fucking gold! Leanin like a motorcycle racer lmao
@mjs3764
4 жыл бұрын
"Can you please stop speaking in these backwoods riddles?" 🤣
@UnkTob
2 жыл бұрын
“... get my parakeet another friend, ...” LMAO! 😂🤣
@kslax93
4 жыл бұрын
The way he said “ I hear ya” had me dying lmao
@collecttcg1122
2 жыл бұрын
"It's got a good spreeaaaad" 😂 so funny
@peterstroe
9 жыл бұрын
A comedic genius.
@Walking-MY-Path
8 жыл бұрын
Indeed.
@dandan8787
10 жыл бұрын
Honestly this guy is friggin hilarious!
@itzzhenry
6 жыл бұрын
His delivery of the lines is so bloody perfect
@brianban110
7 жыл бұрын
his southern accent sounds like Ralphy may
@k.b.8763
6 жыл бұрын
Brian Banegas R.I.P.
@diegonoriega17
2 жыл бұрын
That joke about taking your gun in the shower gets even better after knowing that Bert actually did that
@Floydfan47
6 жыл бұрын
"You step on a rake and in you go!" 😂😂😂😂
@josemathews96
Жыл бұрын
"Step on a rake, in you go". That immediately triggers Tom & Jerry memories
@deadarmd
6 жыл бұрын
Hes funny in part because he taps into what any race, sex, or age can relate to. Tied in with talent.
@spencergsmith
2 жыл бұрын
I mean, everything the salesman said is correct 😂
@hunpolo
7 жыл бұрын
one of my best part about learning English is Bill Burr no contest ... Funniest dude on the planet ..
@bat4481
6 жыл бұрын
I have never laughed so hard in my life through the whole stand up bit. The best ever, Bill Burr.
@JuanDeSoCal
10 жыл бұрын
Ya step on a rake, in ya go!
@youtubasoarus
9 жыл бұрын
I almost choked on my coffee at 2:21
@brianramirez8255
4 жыл бұрын
yep. totally genius comedy
@PurpleCaliper
6 жыл бұрын
I love how he makes you look like a jackass for doing every day things like fixing up an old stool.
@BravoDox
11 ай бұрын
It's less the fixing up and more the getting permission from the wife that he's making fun of.
@TheDefectiveThobe
6 жыл бұрын
"Your need a shotgun" LMFAO
@kewltony
8 жыл бұрын
GET A SHINY ONE
@summushieremiasclarkson4700
7 жыл бұрын
That's what I say to people when they want a Macbook. Fucking plebs.
@giggityeffyou
6 жыл бұрын
His Supreme Clarkson-ness What do you recommend? Thinking about getting a new laptop
@majestic._
6 жыл бұрын
giggityeffyou a PC if you're techy
@dagaybrucewayne
2 жыл бұрын
Kek
@kylemelenka7549
Жыл бұрын
Bill Burr would be the second in command of my zombie apocalypse team
@balusindiancuisine
6 жыл бұрын
''Get my parakeet another friend' haha
@UniteForgetLeftRight
8 жыл бұрын
They need to make sawed off shotguns legal again. They are the perfect close quarters home defense weapon. You don't want to be bumping a long barrel into shit or giving the intruder something to reach for in a life or death situation.
@SkylarRuloff
8 жыл бұрын
+AttentionJunkie Just buy a shot gun, saw it off and don't tell anyone.
@UniteForgetLeftRight
8 жыл бұрын
Skylar Ruloff If you ever used it you would get in trouble with the federal government.
@Fluoride_Jones
8 жыл бұрын
+AttentionJunkie "They" don't want people to be able to protect themselves, therefore, sawed-off shotguns will NEVER be legal.
@mosesgambler2
8 жыл бұрын
But. dude, drywall work. Is has a good spread, remember?
@elchucofried5683
8 жыл бұрын
+AttentionJunkie you can just buy a .44 magnum
@Sadd2Me
10 жыл бұрын
Jam jam sleeves...haha holy shit.
@MacktasticSlick_
8 жыл бұрын
Lost it there. *whoosh*
@sinister8924
10 жыл бұрын
Good spread.
7 жыл бұрын
"I just want to shoot the guy, I don´t want to do a bunch of drywall work" hahahaha
@killer13324
6 жыл бұрын
hollow points expand on impact.
@gerrymcveigh2624
7 жыл бұрын
he keeps it real ...not all politically correct 😊😀 very honest very funny!!!!
@bojaiden5175
7 жыл бұрын
You step on a rake and you go...classic Bill Burr
@reformedreloaded2654
9 жыл бұрын
Bill Burr is the honeybadger of commedians. He don't care.
@faridmejia5820
Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂got a good spread lmaoooooooo hilarious
@jayemlov
6 жыл бұрын
2:45 I rarely literally laugh out loud 😂😂
@garkar908
2 жыл бұрын
Man this dude killing me 😂😂😂💀
@jellybean7283
6 жыл бұрын
this guy needs to be a voice actor 😂🤣
@HeavyweightMind
6 жыл бұрын
Zidonia he actually does have a show called F is for Family. It's an animated family sitcom in the 70s.
@mrimpressions3158
2 жыл бұрын
5:09 I’m dying 😂
@Joonaman123
2 жыл бұрын
I swear no one else can make people laugh as much just by saying "I wanna get a gun"
@aspookyscaryskeleton1474
8 жыл бұрын
The 80% increase doesn't really make a difference if your percent chance is still somewhere in the 0.00001%
@fenrirhere
6 жыл бұрын
A Spooky Scary Skeleton I don't think so.
@bingS4
2 жыл бұрын
If I remember right, that stat includes people who had guns in their home because they're *already* involved in crime and so much more likely to get shot.
@jesset4870
3 жыл бұрын
Plaaaant some zucchini 😂😂😂😂
@Kngillso
6 жыл бұрын
(Posting on my hubbie’s Gacct, lol). I love Burr’s honesty and simplicity!!! That’s what makes his comedy GREAT 😂 I am a female and regardless of anyone’s(other females) opinion, Burr is on point concerning women and the way they operate!!! #1 by far, his “no reason to hit a woman “ .... CLASSIC, TRUE, HILARIOUS 🤣
@MADGUNSMONSTER
Жыл бұрын
Bill literally just described the "Sanctuary / Negan" storyline from 'The Walking Dead'.
@Micky_Papa
4 жыл бұрын
Who’s watching this inside with a full stock supply of pasta and toilet paper in 2020?
@timgraham7851
3 жыл бұрын
And birdshot, buckshot, and slugs.
@pameladavis3622
5 жыл бұрын
Ell, it means ya ain't gotta be that accurate. The further away you are the more shitchu hit. It's gotta good spread
@zax8914
4 ай бұрын
"Talent hits a target nobody else can hit. Genius hits a target nobody else can see." -Schopenhauer
@MrEdlawrence
6 жыл бұрын
Oh Bill , how you truly make my day!!
@daniellol3210
8 жыл бұрын
Its gotta good spread!
@hdflatscreen8478
5 жыл бұрын
I fucking love this dude's comedy
@SomeOne-uw3tf
2 жыл бұрын
The guy who shouted YEAH!! When Bill said WHAT if yhe zombies come get me every time.. he thought about it for time LOL
@WildSchatz
10 ай бұрын
“Put that right in my jam-jam sleeve” 😆😂🤣😅 he sneaks shit in like “jam-jam” to go that extra mile to show that he doesn’t know guns, just that he wants one and knows from what he’s seen in movies.
@DontFeedTheGaben
10 жыл бұрын
It it just me, or does this guy look like Saul's ginger bodyguard in breaking bad?
@itsJanCarlo
10 жыл бұрын
not sure if trolling..
@tfair5
10 жыл бұрын
It is him.
@danielnigra1922
10 жыл бұрын
yes he does
@KrayzListerine
10 жыл бұрын
Kuby
@lukeestes5662
10 жыл бұрын
He is
@juanarreola5346
4 жыл бұрын
He's in the living room!!!
@jakegilbert8116
10 ай бұрын
That was never on the chain & just bill being himself! My favorite comedian
@bobhoekstra7590
11 ай бұрын
It’s got a good spread…., floored and in stitches 😂😂😂
@Phentes
Жыл бұрын
Omg I remember the first time I heard this I was on the fucking floor, I don’t even need to do sit ups anymore I get abs just by laughing 😂 at bill
@boardtodeath46
5 ай бұрын
This was hilarious. Best comedy short I have ever seen.
@brandonjeffers7164
6 жыл бұрын
The lack of laughs when Bill took a stab at himself with the gold coins joke disturbs me lol
@SlySquriel
2 жыл бұрын
3:19 wise words of wisdom
@user-mw6ge1gk9o
5 ай бұрын
i love his, honesty
@neilatchley3675
2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
@elitelegaldocprep
6 жыл бұрын
Lmao. Bill Burr one of the GOATs.
@minutemancase
6 жыл бұрын
This guy has changed my life he is the best
@benjaminmcfarlane3807
4 жыл бұрын
I love this bit
@ioaneluteru6200
6 жыл бұрын
"You step on a rake in you go"!....😂😂
@fburgos22
10 жыл бұрын
It is the guy from Breaking Bad and from the Chappelle show.... He's the guy that says I'll have a Samuel Jackson
@DarkShroud24
10 жыл бұрын
Yes he was on Breaking Bad.
@Hombremaniac
9 жыл бұрын
I knew I saw him somewhere!
@nedcheulz3656
9 жыл бұрын
Also was in the racial draft
@23ofSeptember
6 жыл бұрын
Burr and Louis CK are my favs. I can't wait for Louis to come back.
@gaetanalbrecht
6 жыл бұрын
" y'know " - Bill Burr -
@keithconfidentiality2834
7 жыл бұрын
Dude, if you haven't seen his stuff you need to watch it. He is fantastic!
@moondoggie1968
8 ай бұрын
That's Some FUNNY SHIT! All Day Long People!
@Funkybassplayer
9 ай бұрын
Where the scope. In the living room. He is IN the living room. 😂😂😂😂😂
@oneshotonekill2528
6 жыл бұрын
Wife bought me a new shotgun last week lol, love bill.
@corvairkid17
4 жыл бұрын
Get a 10mm handgun, let the wife attempt to chamber a round... Children can't chamber a gun with a 21+lb recoil spring. Hidden safety feature.
@mr.doctorcaptain1124
Жыл бұрын
Or just teach your kids how to use a gun? My old man had me learning by the time I was 5. I fully understood how dangerous they are, that you never play with one, and you never touch one without an express purpose to fire it.
@jordanmalecki2006
2 жыл бұрын
"Miss all the fuckin' time" 🤣🤣🤣
@bat4481
6 жыл бұрын
"Now you step on a rake in you go..." hahahahah
@stephenr80
2 жыл бұрын
Hes just so funny best of his gen.
@kalmeerperd4676
6 жыл бұрын
"RIGHT?" - Bill Burr
@dagaybrucewayne
2 жыл бұрын
ITS GOT A GOOD SPREEEAD
@VestinVestin
Жыл бұрын
Bill Burr: _"(...) and that'll all well and good, but if you don't know how to fight, all you're doing is gathering supplies for the toughest guy on the block."_ Thomas Hobbes: _"Hear, hear!"_
@thegeneralissimo470
2 жыл бұрын
The best thing about small gun store people is that most of them are exactly like how Bill described them, no prejudice, no fluffy language to non gun people, they’ll fix you up with what you need.
@nubertuberluber
Жыл бұрын
But what about the backwoods riddles?1
@thegeneralissimo470
Жыл бұрын
That too. But it’s usually either only one of the people working, or a regular who hangs out there for some reason.
@whmozart
7 жыл бұрын
This guy is the spitting image of Vincent VanGogh
@tomslick1650
10 жыл бұрын
bobby flay is hilarious
@WizvrdOG
9 жыл бұрын
Lol
@Mr.Infumus
9 жыл бұрын
rofl. u win the internet
@k.b.8763
6 жыл бұрын
YES
@goodchildm.a.a.durbanarea4739
4 жыл бұрын
the public: "Why is corona virus so dangerous?" scientists: 1:47
@user-vx1up7ty7z
4 жыл бұрын
It's got a good spread
@gokuss15
8 жыл бұрын
As a gun person I hate the whole myth of the shotgun spread. 00 buckshot spreads about one inch every 3 feet after it leaves the barrel. From 21 feet away it makes a softball sized hole. An AR15 is the single best gun for personal defense, but unless you go through the bullshit of buying a suppressor then you're going to blow out your goddamn eardrums if you fire it indoors without hearing protection (same goes for the shotgun but I digress). Get a high capacity pistol, a Glock for example. Leave it loaded in a holster on your nightstand. Get your carry permit if you can where you live. Or get literally anything you want as long as you train with it. A .22 still beats the shit out of a baseball bat.
@offensivestuff9514
6 жыл бұрын
Josh Callejas Video games definitely dont help with the spread myth. Movies and games.
@cybersteel8
2 жыл бұрын
@@offensivestuff9514 Legit, when I play with shotguns it's all about the close range, but then I was playing H3VR which simulates guns really accurately, and I was taken aback about how precise a shotgun can be at short range. I kept missing and realised that I couldn't use a shotgun close range, a pistol or anything automatic was better! Mid range though, the shotguns clean up. It was an obvious lesson in how wildly unrealistic video games are when it comes to weapon balance xD
@n111254789
Жыл бұрын
I introduce you to shortys with turkey loads and a duckbill choke. You'll fuck up a lot of shit. It isn't quite a claymore mine but it'll do some damage in a good area
@tysavagegambino9907
2 жыл бұрын
He sounds like the father form the show F is for Family 😂😭😂😭😂😭 I was waiting for him to say IMA PUT YOUR HEAD THROUGH THAT FUCKING WALL!!!😭😂
@youreverydaysaltyiowastate5602
Жыл бұрын
Because he is
@0thers1d3
Жыл бұрын
God damn.. this was absurd. 😆😆😆
@cogboy302
Жыл бұрын
A mate gave his mother, who lived alone on a remote farm, a semi-auto shotgun in case of intruders. He told her it was loaded with rock salt. It was. First three shells were salt, the fourth was buckshot. That was a guaranteed problem solver.
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