I want to make a loop of his psyco robot impression. Cracks me up every time.
@darknessfadestolight4312
6 жыл бұрын
corvettez06usa dude I just sent this to my girlfriend. Said the same thing. It never gets old. I laugh as hard everytime.
@TheBurnedManGraham
6 жыл бұрын
Please do, I need that in my life
@Maser209
6 жыл бұрын
I made a GIF of that once and I was literally laughing at it for like a month!
@normturner4849
5 жыл бұрын
corvettez06usa Gif time❗️😂
@urbanhumba
5 жыл бұрын
Here you go... kzitem.info/news/bejne/14Cc2KhsfYuAeHY
@portal432
9 жыл бұрын
Waves just pummeling you is the best way I've ever heard it described.
@JeroenTel
7 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately true! :-)
@nirakshara
5 жыл бұрын
You said it :-D
@Heisenberg355
5 жыл бұрын
everyday just eroding a little more of your life away... x)
@alstowe9571
5 жыл бұрын
Kids songs
@antbec4860
4 жыл бұрын
The new born baby head part about trying to pay attention after 2 minutes. Hate to stereotype, but it’s true. So long winded, I lose track of what the hell she was talking at me about, that’s the off on a wild goose chase conversation. He already forgot the part of his wife’s friends brothers car accident while talking on his new cell phone that sucks and he got over charged for while wearing those pants I hate that have the tear in them he got fighting Jim at that party by where my aunts best friends house used to be. Whaaaaat???? You lost me at friends brothers car....ummm.....Time well spent.
@Caesarnr93
5 жыл бұрын
This is the best TED talk
@copperhead577
4 жыл бұрын
George Carlin's better.
@Bughunt89
4 жыл бұрын
The Desk they talk about different things in different ways, they’re equal in my opinion.
@arshadarshad3352
4 жыл бұрын
pen, papier and focus
@copperhead577
4 жыл бұрын
@@Bughunt89 They most certainly are not equal, swine.
@blackhand8299
4 жыл бұрын
@@copperhead577 well yeah the other one is super mad all the time with x2 the conspiracy brain. Bill is more relatable imo, he's angry but even he knows that he goes toi far and tries to change. Carlin no disrespect I just saw him as this big ass Opinionated conspiracy theorist. Someone you can't reason with when you have a debate with. I don't like people like that(From my observation only)
@logiii6854
6 жыл бұрын
"Worthy of like a suplex"
@scottlombardi4603
4 жыл бұрын
Niles Wood And don’t even have the decency to run away 😂
@chilongqua1238
4 жыл бұрын
"My girlfriend punched me on valentines day" *Audience cheers Enough said.
@khaleddrici4542
4 жыл бұрын
If he said I punched my girlfriend man hell would break loose
@russBwright
4 жыл бұрын
Maximus-Kanic Wtf are you trying to talk about
@raptorgorl8807
4 жыл бұрын
@@Kanic12341 bruh that's not the point of the comment
@chilongqua1238
4 жыл бұрын
@Brilliant MindZ haha true true. Unless that woman is Ronda Rousey or Holly Holm, then I'm fucked
@mattgurnisson8370
4 жыл бұрын
@Brilliant MindZ And who tf are you to make such a claim. Even if it was the case is not a matter of hurting or not, you simply dont do that shit and you dont celebrate when someone does it you twat.
@dzonibravo7867
6 жыл бұрын
I never knew truth is so funny.
@berastis4431
6 жыл бұрын
Word
@puppy8125
5 жыл бұрын
PumpedKicks why? What makes the funniest things funny is they’re truthful
@84Elenai
5 жыл бұрын
I guess you are not very familiar with Carlin and Hicks material then. Check them out
@paulkaye4924
4 жыл бұрын
Because the truth hurts, laughter is the release of that stress. It's been known for eons
@issac7787
4 жыл бұрын
A good comedian can do that
@TheBluBalls
3 жыл бұрын
I recently transitioned to "eh fuck it, say it, see what happens" and I can honestly say it made me a better person.
@coolworx
6 жыл бұрын
This was one of Bill's best 7 minutes.
@NELOPES7
5 жыл бұрын
He's been around for like 25 / 30 years .. you have no idea what your talking about
@joelegand1035
5 жыл бұрын
Ya man I agree with you .
@wallyprichard7451
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah this video is what got me to listen to him yrs ago lol
@aviatornoah4276
Жыл бұрын
@@NELOPES7he said one of asshole
@RyderDavis
9 жыл бұрын
2:48 - "Let's go see my parents!!" - So sadly true....
@MrLaylow17
6 жыл бұрын
Fuck, I never caught this until u pointed it out
@galfleming6770
5 жыл бұрын
Let's go shopping... Is another classic they throw at you.
@epdlp4506
5 жыл бұрын
I can relate to going to my parents in law. Their are aweful. They hate me just because i am american.☹
@thaik56
5 жыл бұрын
I always heard "Does he like parrots?"
@ChoJun69
5 жыл бұрын
@@crazymarkoslav america the best?? damn... wouldn't even be in top 15. maybe 20-30years ago cuz shit was still mild but now its a shithole.
@FallouFitness_NattyEdition
4 жыл бұрын
Whenever I get the urge to get into a relationship, I go back to these skits to remind myself that staying single is a pretty good deal.
@EricAbroad
4 жыл бұрын
Nah only toxic relationships. Finding someone who equally respects you has huge benefits.
@Icanfigureitoutintime
3 жыл бұрын
Nah dude. Too risky. You'll never know if they cheat. You'll never know they're honest with you. The best way to avoid regular arguing is to just not fall for it. Don't fall victim to you biology. Use your hand and have the whole bed to yourself. You already know you're not perfect. You don't need a life partner to remind you of the fact for the next three years until you tire of one another.
@God.Almighty
3 жыл бұрын
@@EricAbroad in our modern times other than the obvious there's 0 benefits and all hazard. and the obvious can be rented, not to mention it gets boring after a while with the same woman.
@trippdawg3337
3 жыл бұрын
@@levidavis6101 agreed dont settle thats where you run into these problems
@Wis_Dom
3 жыл бұрын
The best deal! If you are an alpha male who has his life together - Stay single. If you are beta male who doesn't - Get married.
@ceeqanguel
4 жыл бұрын
I was sitting on my balcony, drinking coffee. I saluted my neighbour as he left for work. Then I heard "Crash Bang Bang!" coming from his appartment: his girlfriend was smacking her own head into walls and hurting herself, getting bruises on herself, because the guy told her to stop wasting his credit card for stupid things like shoes, and she didn't like that. When the cops came over, she was crying that he had beaten her up, but I called them over, and told them that my friend was a saint and that she was an insanely entitled bitch. Women can lie. I saved my buddy from jail because I stepped in against that crazy bitch. (6 months later update edit : that same girl is now in ER because she immediately went from my buddy to dating a Hell's angels. She tried the exact same shit with that guy and got just dessert.)
@FallouFitness_NattyEdition
4 жыл бұрын
Dude, I applaud you man. Good looking bro. I wish I could buy you a round, but I'll still give you cheers. Here's to you friend 🍻🍻🍻
@jakehouck1431
4 жыл бұрын
My ex pulled that shit on me I'm wait for the next guy to actually beat her ass.
@jasondyrkacz8270
4 жыл бұрын
The Hell's Angels guy was like "If I'm going to jail for beating her ass, I might as well have the pleasure of beating her ass".
@THETRIVIALTHINGS
4 жыл бұрын
We need more (and I don't use this word for just anyone) bro's like you. And that cop.
@EricAbroad
4 жыл бұрын
You deserver a News segment. Hero of the day
@iSovereignKing33
6 жыл бұрын
When he smack the protein shake I rewind it ever time lol 😂
@brettwilhelm8987
5 жыл бұрын
Tyrone Shelton lmao!! go fuck yourself!! priceless
@FOXAMG63
4 жыл бұрын
Hysterical 😭
@nattsojaqs9822
4 жыл бұрын
Funniest shit
@tom87pate
8 жыл бұрын
Truer words have never been spoken.
@afv571
6 жыл бұрын
If this isn’t an accurate representation of women Idk what is
@jennym3883
5 жыл бұрын
@Mbalz 19 the most violent thing i have done as an adult is slam a door really loud
@supersaiyanzero386
5 жыл бұрын
@@jennym3883 want a cookie?
@maurorivera1834
6 жыл бұрын
This is pure gold.
@Mezzer282
7 жыл бұрын
When he does that impression....ahhh I can't breathe.....
@catsandalcohol99
2 жыл бұрын
I love how the "Kyehk Kyehk Kyehk kyehk" effect would also find itself on F is For Family
@boethius9173
5 жыл бұрын
And yet women falsely claim they want equality.
@derrickdavis5836
4 жыл бұрын
They just want more power
@jprp999
4 жыл бұрын
You misunderstand- when they say "equality" what that means is that for every hundred you earn they want 100 from you.
@nattsojaqs9822
4 жыл бұрын
@@jprp999 hahaha 😂😂😂
@lincthomas7178
3 жыл бұрын
yeah. fuck that shit
@bekkfxst
3 жыл бұрын
Women: “Women can do anything a man can. We want the same rights as you, it’s unfair.” Men: “Aight so equal rights equal fights, that sound fair?” Women: “Oh my gosh you monster you’re harassing me. Yeah “kNoCKeD yOuR tEeTh OuT” and caused “iRrEpIrAbLe DaMaGe To YoU pHySiCaLlY aNd MeNtAlLy” but it’s no fair, you’ll hurt me.
@u2bgeye679
5 жыл бұрын
Behkekekekekekeh
@PETERODZZ
4 жыл бұрын
Nice😄
@christophersuswal9544
4 жыл бұрын
"Go see my parents!"
@dylanmorgan5589
6 жыл бұрын
Bill burr holds back less than most guys and its still stressing him out. Think about that ladies. Lol. Jk, i know you won't
@TyrannoKoenigsegg
6 жыл бұрын
They probably cant
@sandratorres9251
5 жыл бұрын
Omg lol🤣🤣🤣🤣
@jaxcaulfield7071
5 жыл бұрын
How should they act? How should they be?
@reservoirfrogs2177
5 жыл бұрын
The incel is upset
@Junokaii
5 жыл бұрын
Now we know nature's reasons for making guys bigger and stronger than women. To hold back other dudes that wanna take their girl? Nahhhhh. It's to hold back these psycho ladies until they run out of energy and go "...k I'm done...".
@peniparker7968
4 жыл бұрын
When I was a teenager, the rule was " if she hits you three times, you can hit back once" Now that I'm older I see what a bunch of BS that was. I'm for equality of all kinds
@hastytkd5768
4 жыл бұрын
I don't think I'd ever be in a situation for a women to hit me but I'm tackling them if they do.
@u.s.paratroops4633
3 жыл бұрын
Burr story: "My little bro. and I were eating breakfast, and he didn't like what we had. My Dad took a glass a milk and threw it in his face"...... "I'm still scarred for life".
@bostonpharaoh
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you for uploading the uncensored version.
@coldmoonlight6361
3 жыл бұрын
Free advice: Don't hook up with a woman that cheers at this.
@pattimcintosh7274
4 жыл бұрын
Of all the bill burr that i obsessively watch THIS is the funniest! Im in the hospital waiting on test results. With headphones on, im laughing out loud and they think I'm crazy.
@rohanbajaj8504
6 жыл бұрын
How he moves his feet while playing that robot move
@TexasKosmonawt
6 жыл бұрын
2:25 For some reason, I laugh at the picnic part more than the other parts. XD
@sarahfrom9683
4 жыл бұрын
“we’ll have a picnic.” lmao 😂
@ElisPalace
4 жыл бұрын
Imagine if that story at the end was told by a women about a man hitting them.
@hamedsiadati6042
4 жыл бұрын
Wow the way he explains the story of, she hit me and gave me *Ufc signs* was amazing... I hadn't laughed this hard for a long time
@gussygatlin3093
5 жыл бұрын
I notice he likes the name *Susan* for the fall girl... lol My name is Susan. Ha!😉
@shukis17
4 жыл бұрын
Truly hilarious stuff, but it's very true in a scary way. One of my best friends went through a bad break up and the Cops were called because 'she' was yelling too loud. Cops come she points to my buddy 'he hits me!' Which wasn't true, then she full-on punched my buddy right in the head in front of the Cop. My body may be 5ft 8 but he's 190lbs in muscle, she was 5ft and 85lbs at best. To this day I could not believe she punched him in the head in front of a cop, but I still am relieved the Cop took her away from him.
@nlee2492
2 жыл бұрын
This has got to be the best clip! The “robot” wife, bouncing off of stuff is HILARIOUS!!!
@curtisboisjolie2535
8 жыл бұрын
love this guy!
@PurcellAdam
2 жыл бұрын
I’m TOTALLY at that, “Fuck it, just say it,” stage. 😆
@SkillGame
5 жыл бұрын
I have to show this to my girl... and then immediately run away from her.
@--Valek--
2 жыл бұрын
The risk you take, dating/marrying, that breed Bill.
@pc1967
5 жыл бұрын
I think I watch video at least 2X per month&to this day, still cracks me up...love the robot!
@PJ.Rob06
Жыл бұрын
dude watch the whole special it's free on here. it's called "why do i do this"
@jamesc2212
3 жыл бұрын
he has a IQ of 155 and is a evil genius of stand up comedy.... I love this guy
@markreilly4577
8 жыл бұрын
Psycho Robots. SO FUCKING TRUE!
@m.a.droofer4185
9 жыл бұрын
Great comedian psycho robots LMAO
@maryrose9841
5 жыл бұрын
As a women and a feminist myself, I felt angry and insulted in Bill's behalf with how his girl was treating him. How will this woman behave if Bill were angry at what she was saying and started to slap her? Or even touching and destroying her private things? It's really simple, regardless of your sex, don't do to people what you wouldn't like others to do to you.
@jasondyrkacz8270
5 жыл бұрын
Maybe you can be the first feminist to answer this question: What rights do men have that women don't in Western countries?
@DM-nz4fs
4 жыл бұрын
@@jasondyrkacz8270 The right to be a man.
@josey6231
Жыл бұрын
@@jasondyrkacz8270 3 years later she still can't come up with an answer
@lilyummy3371
Жыл бұрын
when she hits you, you stop talking, you walk to the nearest door and hit a hole through it, then go back and finish the argument. If she doesnt get the message, you leave the relationship.
@marcusk7855
4 жыл бұрын
At first it was funny but then I started having flash backs of the shit girls have done to me. Now I'm angry and depressed.
@bigkmoviesandgames
4 жыл бұрын
Lol. Yup.
@joelegand1035
5 жыл бұрын
That psycho impression will kill me laughing .
@shanedenmark5536
2 жыл бұрын
I need to make a sound clip of the robot noise and use it as the ringtone for my wife.
@TheNagualZone
6 жыл бұрын
omg lmao! I'm pissing myself with that robot impression! hahaha!
@luminous6969
2 жыл бұрын
Still relevant 10 years later and I have a feeling it'll be relevant for 10 more.
@ExphazedGames
4 жыл бұрын
Bills gunna be 70 having to deal with a college girl daughter that’s 20 he did not think that through
@everready19373
Жыл бұрын
One of the guys at work was getting married. I went into the Kyle Reese monologue from the Terminator. I modified it, slightly: She can’t be bargained with. She can’t be reasoned with. She doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And she absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead. The married guys at the table just about choked on their food they were laughing so hard. The guy that was getting married didn't get the joke and that made the married guys laugh even harder.
@Eurodollartrader
5 жыл бұрын
I'm dead..."SuSAn DID THIS SHiT!!"
@gregorycollins5888
3 жыл бұрын
I never get tired of listening to this.
@fabianpatrizio2865
6 жыл бұрын
I want this guy by my side whenever I face a gaggle of angry FemNazis....then we'd have some fun :)
@googleedood9721
4 жыл бұрын
FemiNazis!
@chuckfeatherless2918
2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely spot on 🤣 Bill is amazing
@SoulFistGaming
6 жыл бұрын
"I just find em to be... idk relentless" XD
@SirBoopBoop
4 жыл бұрын
"Equal rights. Equal fights." If a person, man or woman, assaults you for no reason, you have the right to defend yourself. Of course with equal force, if a man/woman pushes me or gets in my face for no reason, I don't haymaker him/her, you react with the same force to defend yourself.
@freddyb2k4l47
5 жыл бұрын
This guys a living legend!
@terranova119
4 жыл бұрын
No matter how many times I watch this, it's still fucking hilarious!
@thereisnosanctuary6184
4 жыл бұрын
Tara Lang Lang-uage, young lady!
@alaaobaid3363
3 жыл бұрын
3:23 THIS FACE ALWAYS KILLS ME !!!!!
@faciality
5 жыл бұрын
bill really pulling the hannibal lecter look off
@arturozapata6675
2 жыл бұрын
Every woman should watch this at least once. It explains so much in such little time...
@Numinor31
6 жыл бұрын
2:48 *"go see my parents!"* XD hhahahha!!!
@PutYoRhymeOn
4 жыл бұрын
How is this funnier now by watching it one more time? I don't understand... What a legend
@BrettonFerguson
5 жыл бұрын
It is wrong to hit women. However I believe there are circumstances where it is okay to put them in a sleeper hold. Three seconds and they are unconscious. It doesn't cause pain and does no physical damage. Now before you all freak out, I'll give an example. Once a girlfriend I got mad at me for saying she had no culture because she didn't like Beethoven's 9th Symphony. So she took my leather jacket, threw it in a mudpuddle and jumped up and down on it, grinding it into the mud. I did nothing. So smashed up my car, kicked dents in it, goes all around kicking dents in every side, then jumped on the hood and tried to punch through the windshield like the Terminator. She fucked her hand up and couldn't break the windshield, so he just jumped up and down on the hood and roof of the car. I still did nothing. So she kicked in the front door to the apartment complex hallway, broke the door frame, and headed toward my apartment, where there are windows, my computer, TV, and Playstation. She was still ranting and raving and swearing as she went. She gets to my apartment door and started kicking it to bust it down. At this point I decided enough was enough and I put her in a sleeper hold. 3 seconds later she was unconscious and I laid her on the ground. A minute later she woke up "What happened?" So I told her. Then I told her to go inside and go to sleep, so she did. The only injury she had in the morning was her swolen hand from punching the car windshield.
@PsychoticBedroomRecordings
5 жыл бұрын
In Patrice's absence, at least Bill is making the important statements and observations in this time of need.
@JasonSpitzMI50
4 жыл бұрын
Who can't love this guy's material lol 🤭 ?
@XploitXbox
4 жыл бұрын
1:20 Physco robots that never run out of batteries 😂😂😂😂
@stefanssmellsvictory105
3 жыл бұрын
My wife, literally, walked into the room, half way through me laughing my arse off to this video, in an angry mood and started throwing laundry around, in a craze. Bill should've said something about the fucking TIMING of women too!
@Watcher4111
3 жыл бұрын
Dude you got married? Oh Man youre fucked lol
@water9892
2 жыл бұрын
why are you married lol
@JeroenTel
7 жыл бұрын
The victory of recognition. Thanks, Bill! :-)
@claybradley6122
6 жыл бұрын
1:17 LMMFAO!
@roebie7621
2 жыл бұрын
If a woman hits me in the face i will 100% give a good old open palm schlap back, no questions.
@TexasGTO
6 жыл бұрын
"You know?"
@kal-zor-el5801
5 жыл бұрын
Everything he is so true, he just has balls to say it. That's why I like him.
@waaazupd1948
5 жыл бұрын
This dude is funny as h***
@dumdubbs2427
2 жыл бұрын
Can't tell if the audience is applauding his comedic genius or applauding the misandry of domestic law
@bbogusky11
8 жыл бұрын
it's a holiday, let's keep it fucking nice lmao😂😂
@MrHereWeGoYo
Жыл бұрын
The little robot sound. 🤣🤣omg lol
@versatilerogue8137
2 жыл бұрын
Stay away from any of the women who cheered when he would talk about the toxic things his girlfriend did.
@Taffykill
11 жыл бұрын
You should check out his podcast. It's awesome. It's called the Monday Morning Podcast.
@D.Antony
4 жыл бұрын
Simply genius.
@djanitatiana
5 жыл бұрын
Saying the same thing as Peterson but I gotta say, Bill is a _lot_ funnier. God I miss this old Bill.
@emiliopino6526
5 жыл бұрын
This is the type of jokes we need
@fingsandstuff
Жыл бұрын
Lack of accountability and responsibility only breeds self entitlement. Narcissism thrives in these conditions.
@E.A.-17
3 жыл бұрын
This MAN, is one of the Best Ever!!!
@Free2hateme
9 жыл бұрын
hit a shot every time he says "You know!" :D
@cjok8367
6 жыл бұрын
Free2hateme - 25 wuz howw fur me konted 2. Iz buzzzzd his dos sau et loots neber notised et for
@EvsPersonal
6 жыл бұрын
"OH it's brutal!!"
@michaelespeland
5 жыл бұрын
I'm wasted now, thanks
@PhantoRoyce
Жыл бұрын
To hear him go from this to him basically saying “I have no idea what I would do without my wife” is kinda heart warming
@garrywhite13371337
6 жыл бұрын
Bill Burr for President 👍
@waynefarrellvoiceovers
5 жыл бұрын
He is such a gift to the world.
@BokorugroRR
5 жыл бұрын
I love that Iliza has a similar impression with the sounds when impersonating some crazy woman I like to think it's on purpose
@andresp7136
9 жыл бұрын
Where are the feminists on this video?
@thatdichead
9 жыл бұрын
+Andres Peirano because they are dating one of these woman and cant help but agree.....:)
@kyzercube
9 жыл бұрын
+Andres Peirano in the corner whispering to themselves ' oh shit I hope no one watches this! they'll figure it all out! oh shit we are so fucked here! ' Feminists ARE a conspiracy theory.
@kuunami
6 жыл бұрын
The feminists agree because they also date women so they know it's true.
@cjok8367
6 жыл бұрын
Andres Peirano + it's comedy not political or PC advice. Don't take it so serious. He gets paid to piss ppl off & be funny while doing it & he does it well. Enjoy!
@eladrio2311
6 жыл бұрын
The feminist dont hit guys in the face like the woman he was describing. The funny thing is that he portraits himself as a dick but gets upset when he gets matched with a shitty woman
@JoeKerrAnomaly
4 жыл бұрын
A lot of times, I think about the cameraman's position. He hears these jokes and has to think like "Ohhhh, damn, I got to get some audience reactions on THAT one. How about h-.....noooo, nevermind. Ok! Her!" and then she's shown.
@sunehasharma2907
4 жыл бұрын
Umm.. I don't think the cameraman keeps running. There must be multiple cameras recording from multiple angles and all of it can be compiled into one later, with the best scenes included!
@stevquiroga5219
6 жыл бұрын
Equal rights equal fights
@vincentbolduc7708
6 жыл бұрын
**you know**
@fercho2040
2 жыл бұрын
"Just comin' at ya!"
@richardjohnson4696
4 жыл бұрын
When I first met my wife, she was a hitter, I had to tell her when she would either scratch me, or hit me, or stretch out my shirt, that if the neighbors heard us arguing and the cops were called, when they showed up and saw the condition I was in. She would be the one being taken away and there would be nothing I could do about it. I wouldn't call the cops, and there wasn't anything she was doing that hurt me, but when the cops show up, someone is going to jail. It took about a year, but she finally figured out that what she was doing had no impact on me at all and that she was putting herself at risk. And the worst thing.. I would have been looked at as a bad guy if she would have been arrested by the bullshit domestic abuse laws.
@fallingskies8991
4 жыл бұрын
Dude...I’m sorry but your wife sounds abusive
@richardjohnson4696
4 жыл бұрын
Not anymore and I truly think she had no idea that what she was doing was wrong. She was a tiny gal and men are supposed to be strong and be able to take anything a woman can throw at them. That doesn't float anymore is todays society. Women have a double standard when it comes to men. As boys growing up, we have learned the hard way that getting into fights and being physical has consequences, most girls and women have never learned at a young age the same lessons. They truly think it is ok to be physical with a man and we are just supposed to take it. And.. Most men do.
@fallingskies8991
4 жыл бұрын
Richard Johnson you have more patience and understanding than I, my friend. Good luck!
@zakikhan814
3 жыл бұрын
this is soo accurate, its funny yet not funny at the same time
@georgeisaak5321
4 жыл бұрын
such a brilliant comedian !!!
@picks_1993
2 жыл бұрын
6:33 Undisputed FACT.💯
@lordrefrigeratorintercoole288
6 жыл бұрын
wow he talks about his girl hitting him and destroying his stuff like its completely normal... yes my man, never stand up for your self, let her ride you nicely, become a real psycho in a couple of years.
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