Can they change? Better question: do you wanna stick around to find out?
@karadiberlino
6 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤ Much love to you! 😘😘😘 Great sense of humour - sth narcs don‘t have.
@eileensnow6153
6 ай бұрын
The best question I was asked was, “How long are you willing to wait to find out?” I had felt trapped for a long time but I kept pinning my hopes on some nebulous future changes. My therapist at the time asked me when I thought enough would be enough. That was enough to shift my perspective from “maybe someday” to “I’ve already had enough”.
@camersonLA
5 ай бұрын
@@eileensnow6153 thank you for sharing this. What a powerful shift in your perspective. Hope you got out safely.
@nerrissarichards
5 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂that one
@olivenabisubi6174
5 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@MariahWorden-jv9nm
6 ай бұрын
As a narcissist, I’m trying to change. I just got diagnosed with Bipolar and NPD. I have horrible humility, because I always wanna be right about everything. But I know that it’s wrong, and I’m trying to change. And I am slowly admitting when I’m wrong and I’m actually feeling empathy towards others. I still have my moments, but I’m still proud of myself for changing even if it’s a few steps. And I plan to change completely.
@terrimartinez6547
6 ай бұрын
❤
@rachelkosbar7111
6 ай бұрын
I warned someone close to me when they started on a similar journey of "doing the work". Be careful about what information and media you consume in regards to NPD. Most everything out there is geared towards helping the victims and survivors of relationships with narcissists to protect themselves and heal. This in understandable, but can be hard for the narcissist actually trying to do the work. The stuff that is out there can be a useful tool, but don't let it break you. You are worth the work you are putting in on yourself. The easy answer may be to just revert, but it's not as rewarding. Finding a qualified therapist to help hold you accountable while not breaking you down is also hard.
@cakeeeetime
6 ай бұрын
I wish you all the luck in the world!
@abbyxiong3931
6 ай бұрын
Admitting it is hard to do, but once you did that then you can see how much better your life will be. I wasn't diagnosed with NPD but I have lived with someone who is, a parent. I'm doing work on myself as well after realizing that I learned so many unhealthy ways to deal with conflict. Things like yelling, raising voice, or being controlling. I have been in therapy for a year. Best of luck to you. Don't quit on yourself. You're worth being well!
@joyskye790
6 ай бұрын
Good of you to admit the problems you have. 🌸
@angelhr79
6 ай бұрын
The delusional partner "oh so there is hope they will change, guess I'll put up with it a bit longer.
@NotSuddenly
6 ай бұрын
Yup. BTDT. Ten years of low level unhappiness punctuated by horrible times.
@user-dv9xx3yy8v
6 ай бұрын
Sinabi na nga they can change. Nega mo syado
@DogKarma1111
6 ай бұрын
Yup😟
@matticus7584
6 ай бұрын
Been like that with a meth addict. He gave me the ultimatum and told me he would choose drugs over me. I left after he destroyed my soul thinking I was worth something
@Missindependentindustries
6 ай бұрын
6 years later..
@michellejarvis7878
6 ай бұрын
I used to call it "irrational entitlement "- to his face. Then I learned about narcissists. I'm just glad I got out sane and managed to recover financially.
@kivakai
3 ай бұрын
I was just thinking today how, pre awareness, on my part, I would always go on about this "'me, me, me, mine, my' disease"
@otaku3OBSESSION
6 ай бұрын
I struggle really badly with emotional regulation, and often become very black-white thinking on the outcomes of conflict. It becomes very easy to say "oh its all your fault", or worse, completely give up on resolution and say "oh its all my fault" and become self destructive to garner sympathy. It is incredibly difficult to take a step back and say "I did this thing that hurt you, you did this thing that hurt me, what can we do together to heal and resolve this?".
@dozzzinggg
6 ай бұрын
One of the important steps is to become aware of our patterns. Another important step is to figure out where our patterns come from, usually our young childhoods. You've got this ♡
@seajelly2421
6 ай бұрын
For these kinds of struggles, I really like DBT (ie using skills I learned via dialectical behavioral therapy).
@KatieDeGo
6 ай бұрын
I have the same issues. Initially, if I am in a disagreement, I feel attacked and DO NOT like to look at my role. I shut down. It takes me awhile and self-reflection (a few hours) to realize where I've been wrong and be open to talking about it and being accountable.
@riithewordsmith
2 ай бұрын
Also came here to suggest dbt. It's specifically for that kind of problem
@bostonjackson9384
4 ай бұрын
"Their ego can't handle the shame of admitting that they are capable of making a mistake or doing something wrong."
@tzekkk
6 ай бұрын
Their inability to ever see fault in themselves is precisely why narcissists CANT change
@Moraca101
5 ай бұрын
But it is possible for a narcissist. Narcissism is a DISORDER not a life sentence. If a Bipolar can learn control and a Borderline can learn to calm and look at things objectively, a narcissist can change. However, you are not required or even encouraged to stay in that relationship as they figure it out. But there is therapy for it.
@NonyaSmith
5 ай бұрын
Exactly.
@riithewordsmith
2 ай бұрын
They can. It's just rare. And you should never count on it or try to make them. But it is possible. One of humanity's greatest traits is adaptation and change.
@blowitoutyourcunt7675
2 ай бұрын
in Psychology in there are 3 levels to any disorder - states, traits and pathologies. those who have States and traits of narcissism can indeed change if they're motivated to, those with pathologies have a much harder time of changing and it's likely that they never will be able to because they lack the ability for self-reflection. wholesale riding off of everyone who's ever been labeled a narcissist is not the way to go because a large majority of them can change with the proper motivation and CBT. you got to learn how to spot the pathological narcissist and swerve them completely though! they won't change and oftentimes they're dangerous to themselves and others.
@lumKyo
6 ай бұрын
I grew up with a narcissistic parent. It felt like choking in the tightest grip all the time. Only recently (8 montsh ago) I managed to basically flee and cut all ties. I'm 33. I've been struggling with clinical depression, c-ptsd and various emotional traumas. My journey of healing has just begun. I'm so glad there's much more awareness on mental health, it helps a ton. Thank you.
@i.ehrenfest349
4 ай бұрын
How’s it going by now? Are you going strong? I ask because I cut ties with my sister and though it’s freeing, it’s also daunting not to have family.
@kivakai
3 ай бұрын
✊🏼 just turned 33. Cut off my mother over Easter Weekend, essentially. Only child- only parent. So same boats. Book club.
@riithewordsmith
2 ай бұрын
Heyo! 33 and finally got tired of giving my narcissistic father second chances and cut him off! It's super rough. And it's scary to give people the same space to hurt you the way the narc did. But you can do it. Best of luck!
@axehead45
4 ай бұрын
I wish all recovering Narcissists the best of luck. It’s hard to admit you’re wrong, especially when you have such fragile pride that if it’s broken it feels like you’re worthless.
@doseofanesthesia4272
Ай бұрын
i love the support - this comment section is filled with hopeless people preaching that people with NPD can, and will, never change
@cher8136
6 ай бұрын
Jimmy, I agree. Anyone "can change" but people with NPD typically dont want to vhange or...take accountability. I KNOW this from personal experience WiTH professional help.
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
They want us to take all their thrashing !!! No way are they interested in a therapist. “They are smarter than any therapist”. Trust me !!!!
@doseofanesthesia4272
5 ай бұрын
:( its unfortunate that you think that way. change is a spectrum, as is NPD and other cluster B disorders. change can look different to everyone, and it doesn't have to be so vigorous, infact you dont even need to 'see' the change. if someone, who has been, or is considering, being diagnosed with NPD is listening, learning and compromising in their life, that is certainly (at least to me!) change if this change isnt drastic, or integral enough for you, it'd probably best to leave them. and thats totally fine too! but saying that those with NPD (or other cluster B disorders for that matter) don't '''want''' to change is really invalidating :( and belittles our best efforts to see progress.
@Lily_and_River
Ай бұрын
@@doseofanesthesia4272but not taking accountability is part of it. So that's really the first thing that would need to change. He also said 'typically', so of course there can be exceptions. But feeling hurt because other people think you don't want to change isn't really going to help you take responsibility. If it doesn't apply to you, then it doesn't apply to you. But many have experienced that their relationships and marriages with a narcissist utterly failed because the narcissist didn't want to be accountable for their behaviour. And they've thrown away years of their lives because they held hope that one day the person they loved could change and would love them back. These kind of video's are directed to victims of narcissistic abuse not the narcissist who is willing to change. They should go see a professional.
@doseofanesthesia4272
Ай бұрын
@@Lily_and_River I want to start by saying there is no such thing as narcissisc abuse, or narc abuse, as this is a completely abelist term. yes, i completely agree. the first step of change is accountability. that is literally how it works haha in NO way am i saying that you should stay with this person, the real question you should ask yourself is 'can this person change enough for ME'. they can change, and it still can have problems and diffculty. but you literally cant say that narcissists dont, or cant, have the capability to change, as that is COMPLETELY a fallacy
@Lily_and_River
Ай бұрын
@@doseofanesthesia4272 I didn't say that they can't change.... I said they often don't. Listen to dr. Ramani about this if you want proof. Also what do you mean with there is no narcissistic abuse?
@unravel2053
6 ай бұрын
I think it should also be said, just because they have POTENTIAL to change does not give you a reason to stay. Even those that agree to go through programs and therapy... doesnt = change. CONSISTENT changed behaviour is what is needed as proof. Don't let words like this keep you in a toxic situation, don't use it as an excuse to stay. If you are being treated poorly work on support, learn about the dangers of your situation and plan your escape.
@HB-wl3nv
6 ай бұрын
Right. The rate of abusers who actually change permanently is 2%. This is based on clinical research study findings by experts in this specific field. Some have been known to change for up to even 4 years then slip back-- and it's like alcohol addiction: they pick up where they left off, and it becomes more abusive over time. It's hard work, but one if the best accomplishments in life, imo.
@Selina0601
6 ай бұрын
I recently had a lot of content like this in my timeline, and some made me realize I have been a horrible person to a lot of people throughout my childhood because I've been convinced that I am always the victim and different, even better than everyone. I was, at times, but not always. Especially not when it comes to the relationship with my little sister. This short gives me hope for a change and maybe some healing, even though I was and am so ashamed after the first clearifying conversation with my sister. I don't really know how to carry on things, let alone how to look her in the eyes, but I can be better now, so thank you very much.
@shahenda5730
6 ай бұрын
I applaud your self awareness and courage, it takes strength to overcome pride and acknowledge we might have hurt our loved ones. Wishing you all the best with the relationship with your sister!
@Selina0601
6 ай бұрын
@@shahenda5730 thank you very much for your kind words :)
@Selina0601
6 ай бұрын
@@shahenda5730 thank you very much for your kind words :)
@Selina0601
6 ай бұрын
@@artchem1 thank you very much :) None of us is diagnosed with narcissim or kind of sorts but I'd say there run a lot of narcissistic traits in our whole family (which of course doesn't mean everyone is a narcissist). But she's the younger one and I realized a lot of her "difficult" behaviour roots in how I treated her. Same goes for my parents, but their mistakes don't mean I can't or shouldn't do better. Thank you so much for your kind words :) it really helps to spell out these thoughts
@Bcke14304
5 ай бұрын
This is a beautiful string to read. I am the little sister to a very domineering sister who is unsupportive and controlling. Sadly, I have gone no contact as I heal. I so admire reading about not only your humility, but also your willingness to change. I don’t expect this from my sister, and I have sadly found other non-family relationships that accept me for who I am - but your story is nonetheless inspirational. Kudos to you in your journey.
@V3n_R3x
6 ай бұрын
I want to say thank you because your videos helped me reflect on how I have been in my relationship, they helped me realize how poorly I had been treating my partner and I am currently working to repair the damage I caused. Thank you
@greenbrain8725
5 ай бұрын
My partner had strong narc traits up until I no longer tolerated it. Then he had a choice of leaving or changing. His “change” was at first just a reaction to my lack of reception to it (it no longer worked). He slowly realized he didn’t have to be a controlling a-hole in order to keep me. He then allowed himself to change his mindset, become vulnerable to his feelings, and we’re okay. There is hope!
@CowgirlBarbieXO
6 ай бұрын
I like your videos and find them so helpful. Every time I watch a new one, I so badly want to share your videos with my husband but as a covert Narc, he’d just feel like it was an attack on him and lash out at me.
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
I’m in the same boat. Care to share a oar .. sometimes I wanted to go away & visit family. I “ wasn’t allowed “. By my husband. !!!!
@brendadickson9583
6 ай бұрын
Share on your status n let him alone view do this for days
@Midnightmask927
6 ай бұрын
I’ve spent a long time with a narcissist with BPD. It’s very strange because they understand and try very hard to put in the work but the mood swings make it difficult for them to keep a mindset. Improves are being made but slowly. But they try every day to be better than yesterday.
@nikolausmariasson4602
6 ай бұрын
When you don't have a broad scale of emotions (which is basically the emotional scale of a toddler) it's much easier to just totally turn off emotions and do what you want to make yourself feel better. Trying to get better reveals to everybody around you that you are basically an angry toddler who's upset that the world isn't going their way. Thank you for understanding the struggle
@PotatoesAreNeat
6 ай бұрын
BPDs are poster children for “actions speak louder than words.” They are able to conceptualize and articulate their wrongs and plan on how to fix them. But they’re never able to actualize their plans and make the changes needed.
@sravanthigriddaluru6975
6 ай бұрын
Rarely! Only if they truly. Their ego clouds judgment, what they give the name of mood swings...
@danielmgiant
6 ай бұрын
Unfortunately, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) won’t ever go away. However, people who don’t have that disorder, but learnt narcissistic traits during their upbringing can change their behaviour
@stephmora1564
6 ай бұрын
Thank you, I was waiting for this comment since it's backed by research and extensive scientific studies
@danielmgiant
6 ай бұрын
@@stephmora1564 Exactly. It’s really sad and irresponsible that some people with a wide audience use the term “narcissist” willy-nilly.
@stephmora1564
6 ай бұрын
@@danielmgiant agreed! I like how you stated that learnt traits is different. It's important to be able to understand the difference because while one may be worked on, the other would be a never ending loop
@RenABFF0
6 ай бұрын
It won’t ever go away, but there are treatments that allow people with NPD to manage their symptoms as well, right? Sites like MayoClinic say psychotherapy amongst other methods of treatments can help a lot
@danielmgiant
4 ай бұрын
@@RenABFF0 yeah. NPD can be managed, if the patient is willing to constantly work on managing it and gets a good personalised treatment
@staciacrick3373
6 ай бұрын
They actually don’t have an ego because they lack a sense of self or identity. It’s their contempt for their partner that destroys any possibility of real emotional empathy.
@ProdigyBlueprintJones
6 ай бұрын
Wow!! This was perfect!!! You have a way of articulating so much in a short way that is so affective!!! Thank you!!!
@LaceR.Griffin
6 ай бұрын
I have a history of narcissism and I'm changing. It's a humbling and worthy journey.
@scentsoftravelmeditation
6 ай бұрын
All the best 💙
@NaomiVanEmmenis-rt1dp
6 ай бұрын
My ex is a covert Narcissist too
@tourmaline_422
4 ай бұрын
Having a healthy alocasia in the background is a flex
@lizforee1328
6 ай бұрын
Every sentence of this short is spot on.
@forensicbadassprofiling
6 ай бұрын
Every sentence of his video is a lie. It is proven narcissist can't change, won't change, and will never want to change. If you do the research, you will see it is a proven fact a narcissist is incapable of changing. The only thing close to change is something called cold therapy. In a narcissist will never put themselves in therapy to even face behavior modification.
@ellengrace4609
6 ай бұрын
This is the most accurate and concise bottom line message. Can they change? Yes. Will they change? Not a snowball’s chance! The prerequisite for changing is admitting you are flawed. That’s impossible for the narcissist.
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
I absolutely agree with you
@fatgothartist
6 ай бұрын
Yep. My mom never changed. My boundary was just going to therapy so we could talk about the abuse. She didn't want to do that.
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
If you’re the son, you’re mom cheated you out of a beautiful life!!!
@Mperez735
6 ай бұрын
That would be wonderful if he can change. It would be a miracle if it happens. Because I saw some good in him . Which probably was why I stayed 3 yrs. Thinking he would see that I came into his life to show him that he can be truly loved. But he wasn’t willing too give it a shot. Instead he stayed playing his devious games.
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
Sounds like my ex. 30 years we were married. He’s never going to change. This I guarantee. We have children together so I see him. Still can’t say nice things to his own children!!!!!!
@irasaponiuk
6 ай бұрын
I heard a lot from therapists that NPD is the most hard disorder to treat due to the specific traits, it's like completely hurtful to ruin their established model of behavior as this model protects their ego
@lizzywilliams9880
4 ай бұрын
🙌 so grateful for the friends and family supporting me out of narcissistic behaviour I picked up along the way 🙌🙌🙌 My deepest desire is to experience the vulnerability of true intimacy 🙏
@s.hakken539
6 ай бұрын
Two of my siblings recently got NPD diagnoses. They are also both extremely kind and caring and will go an extra mile to help a human or animal in need. It's hard to just see content villainizing people with NPD while I have two siblings with great qualities that frankly have been dealt a bad hand in their early lives. They are putting in the work as well because they do recognise there is an issue. So thank you for content like this
@Ayfed_Esmer
6 ай бұрын
Hey, it's so cool your siblings are on their way to fix that! How does their narcissism manifest itself? They don't lack empathy but then what's the issue? Is it the unwillingness to admit mistakes and take accountability? Recently I've started suspecting I'm a narcissist too due to my huge problems with these things even though I'm also pretty much empathetic
@s.hakken539
6 ай бұрын
@@Ayfed_Esmer Yeah it's hard for them to admit they are wrong, and some of the helping of others/animals also feeds into a superiority complex. They also have this thing about stuff having be done their way and there's little room for a different opinion. But in the core there's just lots of insecurity and the need for validation. As well as a mismatch between how we were raised vs how the world actually behaves. I will support them unconditionally through their healing journey!
@omalley5
6 ай бұрын
Healnpd is a great, and compassionate, yt channel about npd
@Ayfed_Esmer
6 ай бұрын
@@s.hakken539 Your siblings' story helps me to understand myself better now. Until very recently, I'd never really given it a thought that narcissists were too demonized in my eyes by the mass media, thus attempts to recognize I am one of them would make me feel even more assaulted and blamed. Now I can look at narcissism the other way. And I wish your siblings good luck. Their self-awareness, willingness to change, and your support are already half the solution :)
@s.hakken539
6 ай бұрын
@@Ayfed_Esmer I'm a strong believer in not judging people for the hand they have been dealt in life. But even though nature, as well as nurture aspects in childhood can be an explanation for the development of NPD it is never an excuse. As adults we alone are responsible for our behavior. It seems that you have started on your own healing journey, let your actions speak the loudest and continue on this track. Don't let mass media discourage you, they focus mostly on narcissist victims. Try find media that are helpful for your healing journey and see if you can benefit from talking to a professional. Good luck!
@raviom
6 ай бұрын
Anything is possible. But is it probable? The question should be what is the probability a narcissist will change.
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
Yes, what is the probability.. mathematically speaking??????????? Great question!! 🌟🧡🌟
@RenABFF0
6 ай бұрын
@@artchem1technically not an answer, but I think that if they are unwilling to go to therapy, and in the last month or longer they’ve not made any real lasting progress, staying to “fix them” isn’t going to improve said (already extra low because of their unwillingness to accept help) probability of improving.
@doseofanesthesia4272
5 ай бұрын
change is also a spectrum, someone with NPD, or who is generally just a jerk, can 'change' in small ways - like recognizing their actions, comprising, and learning how to better regulate emotions. i agree with you, but i think a better question is; "is it likely that someone with NPD can alter their behavior enough for me to become part of their life." while that sounds self-centered, i think it's generally a very good question for both of you to keep yourself safe, and for people with these disorders can learn :)
@memecakes4436
6 ай бұрын
For most narcissistic people it’s unfortunately a trauma response so they need to do the work to really change and be vigilant as well.
@forensicbadassprofiling
6 ай бұрын
They cannot change. This man is blatantly lying to everyone. Don't believe the 60 second video. Do the research yourself. A narcissist can't ever change. Ever. Their brains are incapable of change.
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
Which I doubt they will.. so sorry
@andrewsabin729
6 ай бұрын
Yeah it’s not a surprise when they don’t put in the work or fake it until they think “they are in a good place.”
@chaundraknechtel8818
2 ай бұрын
This hit me HARD. My ex even went so far as to make me the one who actually said the words “we’re done here” when the relationship was over so that he could play the victim. Unfortunately, we had to live together for a few months before I was able to find my own place, but boy was I the best ex-girlfriend anyone could ever have asked for. I refused to allow him to play his little violin about how awful I was to him ever. I cleaned the house, I organized all of our belongings into what was mine and what was his very respectfully, I even went so far as to assist him with his fish pond and pool when he wasn’t home. Primarily because I didn’t want the fish to die, but I also wanted to walk away from that knowing that I did all the right things, and whatever he told anyone else didn’t matter at that point. I had my self-respect, and I was finally out of that toxic relationship, and had my eyes wide open for the first time in six years. it’s only been a few months, but I’m finally starting to feel like myself again. And I’m beginning to unlearn some of the behaviors that were brought about by narcissism. Will he change? Who knows? I couldn’t stick around any longer to wait on empty promises and be gaslit by him about how it was my fault that he was behaving the way that he was.
@MegDD3912
6 ай бұрын
Love how well you worded this! Going to send it to my daughter who is almost old enough to date Thank you 💚💚💚
@cindymillergirl3537
6 ай бұрын
That's a good idea!
@itsrosario
6 ай бұрын
most don’t as it’s too hard to do it.
@nikolausmariasson4602
6 ай бұрын
I have diagnosed ASPD. Which if anybody is familiar with psychology, is the more extreme side of the scale for cluster B personality disorders which includes NPD. I would say how much work I've had to put in to be as healthy as I am today, but in doing so I would probably take pride in it so I avoid that. We can recover. We can be fixed. We are not demons. We are human. But it absolutely requires the willingness to put in the work to look inside and be okay with not being okay with what we see.
@terrimartinez6547
6 ай бұрын
Let me just acknowledge your sincere efforts to take responsibility for what's yours. You give me hope for my marriage.
@cakeeeetime
6 ай бұрын
Thank you for putting the work in.
@abbyxiong3931
6 ай бұрын
You're a person. Being an ASPD doesn't mean that's your whole identity. That doesn't mean you're broken. You're so worth being well. Good on you for realizing that and putting in the effort.
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
@@cakeeeetime There was no work put in. Read it again. This person is happy exactly the way they are ! They are not changing .. just all BS & I can smell it from here !!!!!
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
@@terrimartinez6547 They are not sincere. They are “ superficial “. …..
@ginaryanbearfighter7065
6 ай бұрын
Well my ex narcissist said t "you want me to change , think you can change me." They don't want to change! they think you should change.
@jacquelinereardon209
6 ай бұрын
They don't care a flip about you changing or anything about you. You just need to be perpetually serving their every whim.
@blane-li
6 ай бұрын
I definitely see how hurtful this could be. A lot of abusers use disorders (whether they actually have them or not) as an excuse to manipulate, abuse, and put all the weight of change on everyone else instead of addressing what's led them down the path they're on. It's why the double edged sword of acknowledging how damaging narcissism can be, and that change is still possible, is one so precariously balanced and often used to hurt people on one side or the other. Abusers adore using any excuse in the book to never be the one at fault or in need of putting in the effort, and it's infuriating. One of my exes was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and used it as an excuse to gaslight me, accuse me of plotting against him or threatening him, etc., and if I proved him wrong "it was just his schizophrenia he couldn't help it" instead of actually just...talking to me in any sort of healthy manner about it. For a long time it made me violently uncaring of anyone with that disorder because all I could do was associate it with him and the fear I'll be accused of being abused like that again. It took a lot of growth on my own part to open up and acknowledge the individual, and not the disorder, as the one responsible for the abuse and neglect. It is hell in a handbasket to try and find the line between acknowledging the way different disorders affect people, and letting that be a reason to abuse and demean!
@bonnsterthemonster
6 ай бұрын
The only thing that moves people to change their behavior is when it no longer serves them.
@domisthebomb09
6 ай бұрын
Short answer: no Long answer: noooooooooooooo
@happilydivorced3235
4 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂
@kittyshell8506
4 ай бұрын
@@happilydivorced3235I love your screen name and completely vibe with it!! 😁😆🥰🤩🥳💘
@veeraganeshiyer
2 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@MARLA116
6 ай бұрын
No. For the most part, they are not. The false self will never let it happen. They are too superior to humble themselves and put in the work.
@princessdenise8659
6 ай бұрын
Literally said all of this in my last text to my ex girlfriend before I even knew what a narcissist was…
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
How did she respond?
@princessdenise8659
6 ай бұрын
@@artchem1 I wouldn’t know she was blocked right after!
@alethiasingleton3109
6 ай бұрын
Narracissits will never change they can become "AWARE" of all the deceiving, lieing, cheating gaslighting etc wordsalad they do but still will do until the day they die it's up to a person if they want to stay or not
@alethiasingleton3109
6 ай бұрын
Example they told you something and you say to them You lieing and 🙂 at them you know deep down inside they lieing but still stay and blow it off their behavior
@ss.surprise
5 ай бұрын
Anyone CAN change for the better, even narcissists, but not everyone is going to. Don't stay hoping they will magically change their mind when they're not interested in changing or their words say it, but their actions don't show it. No one is 'doomed' to being stuck as a particular type of Bad Person. They can get hit by life lessons like anyone else.
@JannaMeyer
6 ай бұрын
True narcissists cannot change. They lack the ability for self introspection…their shame is too crippling
@doseofanesthesia4272
5 ай бұрын
change is a strange word to use, because change can happen and occur in many forms. a 'true narcissist' can change, but maybe that change isnt enough for you
@Brainrage117
3 ай бұрын
I wish my dad would realize his narcissistic tendencies. I want a relationship with him so badly, but I can't get through to him. I've tried expressing how he made me feel in the situation that drove us apart, even telling the story as if it were him in my shoes in attempt to appeal to his narcissism. But alas, he dismissed my perspective saying that I have a warped perception of the events, then proceeding to get the events wrong himself when he was defending himself/retaliating against me. It's so hard sometimes, but I realized he won't change. For my own sanity I had to go NC. It hurts, to lose a piece of myself... But these videos help me, so thanks❤❤❤❤
@sarahmichael4678
6 ай бұрын
My husband is a narcissist, he is aware of this and has spent the last couple months trying to change. It is one of the most stressful and mentally draining experiences that I have ever had, its more painful and exhausting than just dealing with or ignoring the narcissist. There will be days, even weeks where everything seems better, he is activly listening, hes following through with the promises hes made, my feelings matter and then in a single day it feels like we are right back to square one "but it didnt bother/effect me so I dont feel the need to talk about it or care". But he is also trying to help me now that hes become more aware of himself and when he realises what hes doing he ALWAYS tells me to stand up for myself when hes acting like that, that I can say no etc. When he tells me off for not telling him off I know that he is actually activly being aware of himself and the situation, still shifting blame but it is progress.
@doseofanesthesia4272
5 ай бұрын
thank you, this is really heartwarming. a narcissist can change, and you can say confidently that your husband HAS changed - if he hadn't, he wouldnt be trying. that's a significant change! in a world, that is so negative to small progress, i thank you for being so considerate
@YvetteInnerGrowth
6 ай бұрын
This message hits hard for all who are affected, the narcisist incapable of a healthy intimacy and the partner who deals with damaging behaviours
@CaliDreaming98
6 ай бұрын
Amen...true on all points.🙏🏻💯
@dawnzimmermann2958
6 ай бұрын
Absolutely spot on. IV just confirmed to my mother that I won't be back. So much pain took so long to heal while I avoided her. She's barely back and it starts all over again. Im a grown up now, I don't have to take this anymore. I want stability and sanity. Thank you Jimmy.
@SD-iy3sp
6 ай бұрын
JIMMY and staff, THIS is why wr study and study - and if we just had the words you say on this clip, our miserable tume would be cut shorter! BEST THING I'VE HEARD ON NAR YET!
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
Thank you ! Exceptional advice- If only the Narcissist, Wants to change! The one I know, probably not. Too self - centered ! Thanks to his Mom ….
@BTParent
6 ай бұрын
And as they cannot take SHAME, NOT THROUGH THEIR OWN FAULT BUT Fact IS THEY CANNOT ..
@michaelmerrills576
6 ай бұрын
Life isn’t long enough. It’s like waiting for a bus that won’t come back till tomorrow, maybe. Focusing on the good things and keep on living but I’ll still be at the damn bus stop every day.
@KimSB12
2 ай бұрын
All these apply to my "mother". 😵💫 You can't learn from your mistakes if you are not able to accept them.
@cindymillergirl3537
6 ай бұрын
So powerful! A toxic relationship is so damaging. I'm still learning about narcissistic behavior and wish I'd known many years ago. Anyone who has a narcissistic partner, I wish you the best. Put this video on repeat. Love yourself and go no contact.
@varunsauryaboy
6 ай бұрын
You are brilliant Jimmy ❤
@everydaytwiceonsundays4498
6 ай бұрын
Every one of them will claim to have changed, meanwhile one in a million will actually change
@tiadavenport5465
6 ай бұрын
Wow. Beyond true.
@juliaamundsen4560
6 ай бұрын
So well said and so very helpful! Thank you!
@NUCLEARMAMA1313
3 ай бұрын
So well worded and spoken & summed up ❤❤
@serenitygransee1972
6 ай бұрын
I love your videos. But, im frequently destracted by the beautiful plants in your background.😂 The micholiztiana behind you in this one is awesome!❤
@jacquelinereardon209
6 ай бұрын
Hence, they cannot change.
@virginiadavis6156
2 ай бұрын
❤Absolute truth. By the time we find this out, we are so exhausted and ready to move on .....I still believe there are good stable loving grounded men out there. It's unfortunate that I first had to meet a selfish controlling person.My mind and heart belongs to God and his goodness and therefore Mister narcissistic control me. It drives him insane..God is greater than Goliath..soon I will be free from bondage❤
@hexhex7220
6 ай бұрын
narcissists know no empathy..it's a character flaw which can't be overcome
@amohammed5
6 ай бұрын
This is very true. I think it starts with self awareness
@isadora6662
6 ай бұрын
You just described my boss and CEO , a living hell to work with.
@barbaravieira2239
4 ай бұрын
🌟 Brilliant. 🌟 Thank You, Thank you, thank you, Jimmy. You "nailed it." I wasn't sure if one of my "friends" has Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder [C - PTSD] or if he is a 😢narcissist. I sent him a KZitem Video LINK to your "short" His response answered my question.
@blane-li
6 ай бұрын
Yup! Diagnosed NPD and Antisocial Personality Disorder 🤷♀️ my disorders (along with others not mentioned here) change the ways I am capable of caring, but they don't make me violently incapable of it. I've always compared trying to foster friendships to trying to get close with an aggressive dog (ex. A fighting dog rescue). It is NOT for everyone. I am NOT for everyone. I know I bite. I know it's not easy. But it is possible. BUT anyone who goes in with the "I can change you!" Mentality immediately needs to go. They're just going to destroy themselves that way. My brain is wired differently. That will never change. I will have bad days. I'm human, too. The only friendships that work are the people willing to stay around that aggressive dog, KNOWING the bite risk, and never expecting "the power of love" to magically make it all better. It's also why I rescue aggressive dogs that normally can't be adopted out. 11 years later, and I still have to hold my lab/pit mix because he'll rip his muzzle off and bite the vet tech clipping his nails. Then when she's done, he still tries to go on a car ride with her. He's not a bad dog. He's just not for everyone. HE is the one that changed my perspective on change being possible. Never a person who smothered me with sickeningly sweet love.
@WinterSeasons21
6 ай бұрын
Damn it, Jimmy. You're so right, and it breaks my heart, but I thank you!
@silverdove88
6 ай бұрын
I think it’s a very difficult road not many are able to stay with. I was one, but not full-blow (daughter of a mom who was full-blown). I have found that narcissism is often a front to protect those who carry it from an immense load of pain alongside a lack of capacity to process that pain (a horrid combo) - to reform, I had to start taking on that pain which nearly killed me in the early stages, but the mercy and grace of all those who have walked in pain was there to pull me through…✨🙏 it’s taken me about 10,000 rounds of facing my anger, fear and sadness, multiple visions & calls, 6 years of daily intention, practice, contemplation, reflection, prayer and thanksgiving, 5 years of monthly therapy, the incredible motivation not to pass this horrid intergenerational curse on to my little baby (who taught me with wordless wisdom), fair level of financial security, and help and support from my partner and more to even kind of reform…so I’d say atm (march, 2024) there is usually quite little chance for full blown narcissists to reform in one lifetime at where current collective is. As we all do the work including learning from these wise teachings from Jimmy, the collective wisdom and understanding will rise and probabilities will get better and better!
@andrewsabin729
6 ай бұрын
The damage is already done and she won’t ever genuinely apologize over the pain she’s put me through with our marriage/divorce. My psychiatrist said that she was probably a narcissist. Everything was about her and her needs. Everyone else were always to blame for everything and she never accepted any fault in problems she created. She still has trouble with relationships and with people. I’m just doing my best to keep her at arms length and only talking about our child to her and not let her meddle in my personal life.
@minnawadhwa1832
6 ай бұрын
Your words are impeccable and bring clarity to really be aware of a narcissistic personality around
@confusedwhynot
6 ай бұрын
My husband refuses to take responsibility for his actions. I am done!! time to finally finish this mess.
@mycroftholmes8261
6 ай бұрын
If it's gotten to the point where your relationship is so bad you finally snap and tell them they can't keep treating you like this it's already too late. They have broken and betrayed your trust, that is not an easy thing to forgive and forget, even if they promise they'll change or tell you they "deserve another chance" even when you already gave them hundreds of chances...
@nancychandler768
6 ай бұрын
Forget it. They will never change.
@satyajeetpatnaik
4 ай бұрын
2 years, I can remember whatever the conflicts she will avoide but she wont talk. Not even sorry. She has been spoiled by her parents for sure. She left me even after verbally abusing me, disrespecting me, still I spoke with a soft tone to know if there is anything I can do. Her responses were showing no guilt, no accountability and egoistic. 😮💨 feeling drained
@tjones7547
6 ай бұрын
YESSSSS!!! Everything he said is 100% correct!!
@TheTialalande
5 ай бұрын
Even as he's saying these things I feel like I can relate as a partial narcissist. I believe that I have some of those traits. I've been working on not invalidating people and not always having to be right. I'm working on being more empathetic to others and stop making everything about me. I noticed I do this sometimes especially when I get anxious. Especially when I get overstimulated and upset. Especially when I don't feel like my self is being validated respected or loved by my family
@cindymillergirl3537
6 ай бұрын
You should follow up with a video on trauma bonding. This is why it's so difficult to break off the relationship with a narcissist. Your brain craves the dopamine from the reward/punishment cycle in the toxic relationship.
@hubbadouble8025
6 ай бұрын
Many of them can change (look out for other comorbilitys, that use to worsen the pronostic) BUT most of them just don't want to or want but will fail (not consistency, want to be like before, crisis). People have to be aware of that. Its very risky, not imposible but very very risky.
@MaryBambergerparchert
4 ай бұрын
Thank you for your wisdom.
@willdeanrobertson7102
6 ай бұрын
If a narcissist is not willing to work on themselves, all the patients and love and kindness you show them will do no good It’s up to them to seek help And if they don’t want to be helped, there’s not anything else you can do but leave them alone
@ZovaBe
6 ай бұрын
I've been wanting to leave a comment saying your wife is lucky to have a man like you but I opted not to because I learned that men with these channels have cheated in the past or practice the opposite of what they preach on the internet in their real lives (see Derrick Jawn). I had to chuckle when I went to your page and your description led with "I confessed to my wife that I had an affair" lol it reminded me that no matter how great peoples marriages may seem you just never know what's actually going on or what has happened behind closed doors in the past
@reneechris501
6 ай бұрын
I wish I could get away from mine but I’m so scared to leave. I feel like I’m a hostage and I will never be able to escape without serious consequences.
@nikolausmariasson4602
6 ай бұрын
As somebody with ASPD, my suggestion would be to just gray rock. If you weren't feeding them stimulation negative or positive, they will have to figure out how to adapt to get a response. When they respond negatively, act even more dismissive when they respond positively. respond positively. Narcissists sociopath psychopaths whatever you want to call them, want to be accepted like everyone else. They just don't have the emotional maturity to be able to understand what they are going through. Train them as you would a dog. Give treats for good behavior and ignore bad behavior. You can't punish them for bad behavior because if you do they are smart enough to try to rationalize why you're the bad guy for punishing them. Ignoring them is far more effective because they share certain traits with people with autism and ADHD which incentivizes them towards interaction. Ignoring them or counting them as not significant enough to care is the worst thing they can imagine. But if you reach out to them when they reach out positively, you can condition them to always want to reach out positively because they know that they are going to get ignored if they reach out negatively
@nikolausmariasson4602
6 ай бұрын
And I want to emphasize this point. Non-interaction means not interaction. It doesn't mean even saying something like yeah, whatever or being dismissive verbally because being dismissive verbally is a kind of interaction. People who are on the cluster B spectrum literally have the emotional bandwidth of a toddler. They don't understand nuance when it comes to emotion so don't get them any nuance.
@FactsBrakeStupidity
6 ай бұрын
Number one reason people don't leave a narcissist is fear. A narcissist will use fear to control and manipulate you. And someone who uses fear to control you doesn't love or care you for. They only keep you around as a punching bag to make their pathetic exists better. You deserve better! And if your family and friends won't help you, they don't love you properly either and you should leave them too! Don't be afraid to start over, you are more capable than you believe. It's just you've been with a narcissist long enough that they have brainwashed you into thinking you are less than you are.
@Laura-fj6kq
6 ай бұрын
I was scared too, didn’t think I could do it; didn’t really see leaving as an option frankly. We’d been together 20 years. I unexpectedly made a friend who helped support me emotionally which helped incredibly. Fast forward 29 years and it was the best decision I have ever made. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it. I no longer live with that daily fear of doing something “wrong”, of upsetting them, of walking on eggshells. It was a horrible way to live. You don’t need permission to leave. The fear does go away when you have time and space away from them. My heart goes out to you.
@reneechris501
6 ай бұрын
@@Laura-fj6kq thank you so much this. My fear of leaving is his reaction when I do. Also how to go about it. He has gps on me. Cameras outside. I’m questioned constantly. He goes into rages and has tantrums. I tried leaving once he threw around everything in the house and followed my vehicle with my child in the car pulled in front of me and blocked me off and then speeding like he was going to hit me head on. He will stalk me and destroy everything I own. He’s crazy and I’m so scared he will try to bring harm to me or my family.
@chiane1654
6 ай бұрын
I wish there would be change. Every day, because I’m in love with him but I cannot put myself through it all any longer. Dealing with this has ruined my happiness
@roxannerodney-gittens5534
5 ай бұрын
WOW 😮 REAL TALK 🙏
@cheryl3746
4 ай бұрын
In 2016, functional MRI's were conducted on "normal" behaviored individuals and narcissistic individuals. This was a European study. There are 3 areas of the brain where empathy resides: prefrontal cortex, left anterior insula & I forget the 3rd (sorry). These centers develop & grow starting at birth & continue through childhood. Adult narcissistic brains only showed a thin layer lining the brain as opposed to the 3 areas that showed actual empathy centers in normal individuals. Narcissists are therefore hardwired & 99% cannot change. When I read this study I finally understood hoping for change was virtually impossible. You cannot ask a paraplegic person to walk. Missing legs. In a narcissist- missing empathy centers. The counselor I was working with said in her 25 years of specializing in narcissistic abuse cases, not a single narcissist changed. The brain study made it all make sense for me. The good news is I learned a lot about the world around me, about him/NPD & most importantly about myself. Hopefully I'll have a mutually reciprocal respectful, loving, kind relationship one day....but I am perfectly happy with my single life right now. I'm in a very good place thanks to counseling & doing my research. ☺️
@charisse234
6 ай бұрын
I agree with you one zillion percent Jimmy! Positivity peace and love ♥️
@karenlynch8348
2 ай бұрын
The narcissist’s HUGE EGO refuses to accept any responsibility
@finnsinterstellar
6 ай бұрын
My mother is a narcissist and it feels like there's no saving her. This video helps. Thank you.
@SaraG0204
6 ай бұрын
They cannot change, there is physically something that avoids them to connect their feelings. They have to be willing to change, which will be a HUGE obstacle
@danielbailey5556
3 ай бұрын
True narcissists can’t change. They can change enough but as soon as they become stressed like a rubber band they Snap back into old patterns
@LittleLulubee
6 ай бұрын
My demon brother is the one who’s trying to dominate me. He has forced me into a legal battle, and I risk losing everything. I hate his guts. I want him permanently out of my life ASAP 😡😡😭😭
@drewb5845
6 ай бұрын
I’m in exactly the same situation and it is almost impossible to explain to others just how bad things can be when it’s not a romantic partner but your brother. And when there’s a legal battle as well it’s hard to believe that someone you should be close to is so hateful.
@artchem1
6 ай бұрын
Don’t Back Down!!!!!!! 🌟🧡🌟
@MaureenBenjamin-i2o
3 ай бұрын
Thanks for your message.
@danettedarling4545
6 ай бұрын
Thank you for these!!
@crissycobain8361
6 ай бұрын
Thank you Jimmy 💗
@susangloag4401
2 ай бұрын
I wouldn't touch a narcissist, it's just not worth it. Everyone deserves better than to be ripped apart!
@safaa__2002
6 ай бұрын
And it's no one job to wait for something that may or may not happin,or even fix them So protect yourself and stay away
@natasha_xxiii
4 ай бұрын
If you stick around long enough, you will be the one who’s changed, for the worse. The damage that has been done was far more severe than you can imagine. The repair would take years for it to happen. There are people who’d move mountains and bring the moon for you. You need to leave. It’s not about them anymore, it’s about you.
@LenaKrupinski-vg5wi
6 ай бұрын
Many Thanks ! 💗 So far in my experience I've not seen any narcissist change ! If anything they get worst as they age ! 💗🌻💗
@mfawls9624
6 ай бұрын
Now that I am aware of her gaslighting it has no effect. She cheated on me 5 years ago, has never said she's sorry. About a year after her affair I pointed out that she had never expressed remorse, never said 'sorry'. She argued for 5 minutes that she had said 'sorry'. Even if I had forgotten that she'd told me (which I know I didn't) all I could think was that a normal person who had cheated would simply repeat that they were sorry...rather than argue to convince their spouse that they had said 'sorry'. That was the weirdest, saddest interaction. It cemented, for me, the extent of her resistance to change. It was sad because I realized that I will move forward...wounded, but evolving. She has remained stuck, painted into her own corner. The person I thought I married does exist. It's just that I cannot free her. And that's sad to realize.
@jocelynviloria21
2 ай бұрын
Absolutely 💯
@fawzeeyah22
6 ай бұрын
Spot on!
@msmom1183
6 ай бұрын
Yeah, it took decades of fighting but my parent finally, mostly, gets it now.
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