she's back! telling you about the signs of an emotional unavailable partner, the four reasons why we choose these partners, and how to change this for ourselves if this may be a consistent pattern. Attachment Styles Ep 1: kzitem.info/news/bejne/woCYx2ZtooCEhYI How to be Self-Aware Ep 2: kzitem.info/news/bejne/1YGFraR3a2V2hoI LOVE Q&A | Depression, Break-ups, Asexuality | Ep. 3: kzitem.info/news/bejne/zKOOzZ-vq4OajaQ
@reallifepsych3309
3 жыл бұрын
6000+ languages in the world and she chose to speak facts on this one
@amy_lee
3 жыл бұрын
LOL
@mamajahh
3 жыл бұрын
Hilarious ❤️
@LivT04
3 жыл бұрын
Part of my self-care routine is watching Amy talk about mental health and relationships. 🙏🏼
@as1r6
3 жыл бұрын
SO GOOD, and so eye-opening and empowering! The world definitely need more of this talks; more of taking notes ✍🏼 and actually practicing it and putting it into action. Fall inlove with learning and growing.
@msnishaxo
3 жыл бұрын
omg, i literally googled my attachment style 5 mins ago. needed thissss.
@tiffberries
3 жыл бұрын
please start a podcast
@arooshatariq5573
3 жыл бұрын
i feel attacked but i also feel like i learned shit
@amy_lee
3 жыл бұрын
haha listen to the disclaimer!! not of these things or being these things are not bad or wrong. :-) you're more powerful for understanding how and why you are the way you are, kween
@petertorsky7529
3 жыл бұрын
hey
@estrellasjournal
3 жыл бұрын
I’m glad i never dated anyone when i was emotionally unavailable 😌 aka my whole life lmao
@amy_lee
3 жыл бұрын
lol get in, estrella, we're going healing :-)
@estrellasjournal
3 жыл бұрын
@@amy_lee lmao right right we’re also going self-actualizing
@joymae
3 жыл бұрын
The problem is I see the red flags and I still pursue them
@agnerukaite5742
3 жыл бұрын
same here ;/
@ilovelushxo
3 жыл бұрын
lol that was me for years I feel that so hard
@danniellenesbitt6053
3 жыл бұрын
Been there myself as well but at some point we become wise, listen, and begin to trust our ability to discern whether a person is worthy of our time regardless of our desire to love. Wishing you the best ✨❤️
@magstpwk
3 жыл бұрын
I’m definitely emotionally unavailable and terrified of dating. I’m realizing that is because of my dad who just chose not to be present in raising me despite being physically present as a parent and available for my other siblings. I’m in therapy working on that because I don’t want to bring that to someone else.
@estrellasjournal
3 жыл бұрын
aww i can relate to that and I’m 19 now but I don’t think I’m emotionally available
@magstpwk
3 жыл бұрын
@@estrellasjournal honestly realizing it is the first part! it's a sign of growth and self reflection to be able to recognize that, not everyone has that ability ❤️
@charmainekhin4784
3 жыл бұрын
relate to this too 🥲
@SamElle
3 жыл бұрын
Sigh I have figured out that I attract emotionally unavailable person because me myself am also super emotionally unavailable. It wasn’t until this realization when I finally saw improvement in the partners I chose!! Literally I used to complain all the time that everyone in NYC was emotionally unavailable but in actuality I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE TOO
@abcdefgfedcba13049
3 жыл бұрын
This video came at the best time for me. We just ended a situationship where I couldn't let go of my feelings for him when he already told me he wasn't interested. Trying to be kinder to myself and accept my past in order to move on from it.
@Angiebee.
3 жыл бұрын
I feel like dating can be so frustrating for me! In the past I had become extremely unavailable emotionally because I didn’t trust men because I thought they would abuse me like my father had when I was a child. I didn’t want to go through the turmoil again. But then I also had codependent issues on excessively wanting men to need me. I would constantly try to fix them so they would love me. I was finally able to work on these issues once I started therapy close to a year ago. And Although, I still can “relapse” on these behaviors, I’ve finally learned to communicate my emotions better and create boundaries instead of avoiding men all together. I also decided to go on a love journey recently to kind of learn things about myself to find the good and bad traits. Which has been helpful! But something that really stumps me is that I still continue to attract men who either want me for sex or who will just ghost me because I’m not comfortable with doing certain things. Btw I find these guys through online dating. I’m frustrated because I feel like I’ve done the work and I’m still continuing to work on myself because there’s always work that needs to be done. But I’m just concerned like what am I even doing to attract these types of men? Chile but anyway, thanks for listening to my rant. 🤡
@sena_2341
2 жыл бұрын
this really resonated with me today. wishing you the best of luck on your journey ❤️
@kittykat6497
3 жыл бұрын
i am the emotionally unavailable person and it hasn't been fun so far. i'm just terrified of dealing with all this but even more scared of not doing anything about it.
@Anu-vr5qx
3 жыл бұрын
I really relate to this. :/ I've been in this situation and i'm sorry you're in it now. But i'm in therapy now. And i'm so glad i took that step. I know sometimes there's not a lot of help around. Sometimes it seems like there's no help at all for you. But i truly believe that there always is help for you, and me, and all of us. Sometimes therapy isn't available... sadly. But there is always something that helps. That keeps the hope alive. Maybe that's a cat or music or the sun... I don't know you at all... But i hope this comment helps. I've been in therapy for 2½ years now... and it helped me more than i could have ever imagined. Before therapy i would have NEVER written this, but now i can honestly say: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And you are lovable. ♡ I wish you the best luck on your way stranger :)
@shannonamywoods
3 жыл бұрын
I'm nervous to watch this video since I'm healing from a break up, where my ex said he felt emotionally unavailable and needed to be alone.
@janeosun
3 жыл бұрын
“if [healing] were easy everyone would do it” LAWD!!!! a whole word.
@Ketee25
3 жыл бұрын
I just ended things with a guy that’s emotional unavailable it’s hard
@kiteknit5505
3 жыл бұрын
Such another great video, Amy! My partner and I recently broke up then decided to get back together. It wasn't until after we broke up that we both realized how much inner work we both had to do for ourselves. We have both committed to doing inner work and have been learning so much about ourselves and each other, which I am so happy and excited for. It's been humbling being her partner and to have had the opportunity to fall in love with her not once, but twice in one lifetime. (Btw, she's the one that actually introduced me to your channel!)
@itsisa1319
3 жыл бұрын
I was “with” an emotionally unavailable guy for 9 months. When things were getting more intimate, he dashed. Then I met my boyfriend literally a month later, but then I was emotionally unavailable. I checked myself after a month and worked to open back up. He is super present, emotionally expressive, intentional. It’s a world of difference, and I feel much more at peace & comfortable with him.
@Itzas_world
3 жыл бұрын
I really like this series. I feel like I learn a lot but I never leave feeling hopeless, instead I feel more educated and well versed.
@leanneowen3134
3 жыл бұрын
I just started dating someone new and it's so scary. How do I discern general anxiety regarding relationships between actual red flags?? Love you Amy❤️
@amy_lee
3 жыл бұрын
TIME :-)! if they keep occurring consisntently over time. take things slow. dont rush into anything. dont commit to a serious relationship. google signs of lovebombing.
@Angiebee.
3 жыл бұрын
Oh girly I have Generalized anxiety too and it makes dating SO HARD!! I found that my intuition feels different from my anxiety so when something feels wrong but not necessarily nerve racking then I know that I’m experiencing some red flags. If I was nervous but I didn’t have any clue evidence of the person displaying red flags then I was just probably feeling anxiety. And I noticed that my I feel my anxiety, heavily in my chest and my intuition is felt in my stomach. Hopefully this can help! EDIT: Just fixed some grammar mistakes.
@gloria3435
3 жыл бұрын
sitting here with my breakfast burrito and absolutely sobbing. thank you amy for being so warm with your knowledge. it feels like a hug and someone whispering in your ear all the hard truths you usual mute because they're so loud coming from anyone else. sending love ty again
@dizzysweetpleasure
3 жыл бұрын
I've just loved this video. It resonated with me a lot! Can you make a video about how can we heal our inner child? Do you think it's possible to do it with journaling? Such a big fan of yours. Thank you
@amy_lee
3 жыл бұрын
yes!! im just figuring it out myself lol. deep in the work. but once i have some tips, that video is 100% on my list! thank you for supporting me and the work i do :-)
@mishujo
3 жыл бұрын
amy you’re a whole frickin queen 👑
@amy_lee
3 жыл бұрын
as r u!
@sylvette8277
3 жыл бұрын
it’s 1am here and i can’t tell you how loud i screamed when i got the notif, getting ready for my parents to storm in my room lol. anyways, always love you amy !!! i just love these videos of yours and how brave you are for sharing these stories with other people (i’ve always been closed off and i did not like talking to others nor talk about me or my emotions) you’ve slowly helped me to open up more. this message is officially too long now and i’ll be enjoying the video!
@amy_lee
3 жыл бұрын
this makes me so happy- keep going, im proud of you! it aint easy sister but we got this
@joshuamateo
3 жыл бұрын
Your emotional intelligence is out of this world, truly! The level of awareness you have and the experiences you've faced to get to this point was probably really hard, so I just want to applaud you and say I really appreciate you for sharing your knowledge, it really does make an impact! Keep doing you! :)
@metalfoxhound
3 жыл бұрын
I was once the co-dependent person in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person. It's a parasitic environment for both partners. And the only way to escape is to move on and heal. ❤️
@angelikabatwoman
3 жыл бұрын
Is it really "seeing the best in people" or rather "trying to find an excuse for myself to be treated like shit"? I think it can sometimes be destructive to think that you see the best in people rather than acknowledging that it's egotistical and at the same time sooo self depricating to accept that person because you think you're not worth more. You think you deserve someone who sucks 99 percent. That's the core of the problem. We tend to defend our mistakes and I think we shouldn't talk down to ourselves or anything but just realize, that that behavior is nothing to be proud of but something we should stop doing in order to realise that we're worthy of someone who treats us right. It's like that savior complex: "take a broken man right in my hands and then put back all his parts" (halsey) that is nooot good it doesn't make us a good person, just a martyr... I don't mean that in a mean way! Just uuuurgh it makes me sad to see, mostly women, excuse the bad treatment they endure by a sense of "I'm doing a good thing for someone else". It's a shitty thing parents taught us. Taking care of their broken asses when they should have taken care of themselves. I hope y'all get what I mean to say.
@jem-in-eye9513
3 жыл бұрын
I struggle more with friendships, I can be myself around my boyfriend and my family but my friends I get too scared to show I’m annoyed or mad at them. Right now I live with ex friends and the living situation is hard on me, I guess I manifested the whole situation but basically I just keep to myself and don’t really talk to them I feel very uncomfortable
@jem-in-eye9513
3 жыл бұрын
And I genuinely feel we’re not compatible so I’m stuck there and also I’m very reactive I’m working on it. Can’t wait to move out tho
@aurielove9177
3 жыл бұрын
Just wanted to add something. I am not a therapist or a relationship expert but just like Amy I speak from experience. There is a difference between someone being emotionally unavailable vs. someone who gaslights and devalues you especially after some time of dating and/or being in a relationship with you. In the past I have dated people who gaslight me to no end and I mistaken them for “not being ready for a relationship” i.e emotionally unavailable. I have given people the benefit of the doubt and it cost me dearly. It is SOOOOOOOO important to put up boundaries with a potential partner early on and NEVER EVER compromise on those boundaries. If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries that is a huge red flag. I would get out before things get worse. Also I understand that some people “ghost” others because it’s “easier” and “less awkward” but honestly it’s better for you and for others to just be honest and upfront.
@sena_2341
2 жыл бұрын
facts
@georgiarose9962
3 жыл бұрын
I feel like there’s always so much pressure around dating when in reality I think its better to get to know yourself first. I honestly don’t get how people have time for relationships combined with work and having time to do hobbies.
@sena_2341
2 жыл бұрын
true, i feel like a lot of deep problems in relationships can be rooted to not fully knowing yourself and what you want and need.
@sweetholywater
3 жыл бұрын
Just wanted to note that “wanting to date multiple people at once” doesn’t necessarily mean they are emotionally unavailable! There are a lot of people that practice ethical non-monogamy that are deeply committed to many intimate connections. Just wanted to note because this is a common mischaracterization of polyamory 💗 love your videos! 💗
@dianane4866
3 жыл бұрын
I‘m emotionally available and was dating this emotional unavailable person. Luckily I recognized it early. So many red flags. He always told me he just goes with the flow, he never promise anyone anything and that he has no emotion. We stopped talking but I still think about him often and kind feel sorry
@lannah6285
3 жыл бұрын
this helped me make a very important choice for myself. Thank you Amy
@multiuniverse1266
3 жыл бұрын
This hits hard when YOU are the emotionally unavailable one🙃
@sarasblog1501
3 жыл бұрын
Hey Amy, love your video been following you since 2014 and love how you evolved. Wanted to ask you could you cover the topic of shame, I am still trying to unpack it... and your insight would mean a lot
@toadfaceangel9994
3 жыл бұрын
there's a book called Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find Love and keep Love, definitely changed the way I see relationship dynamics and I feel less guilty when my partner does not respond the way I respond to love and also learning how to detect my attachment style so I know what to look for(and not to) in a partner. Love you Amy
@welikelethabo
3 жыл бұрын
I’ve also found that people with an anxious attachment style tend to date people who are emotionally unavailable. Your hair is beautiful❤️.
@jasperitoburrito
3 жыл бұрын
Haha when they tick every box in the emotionally unavailable column...
@ShoGlizzyy
3 жыл бұрын
Omg this video was so well done Amy! I feel like I've done immense work to heal myself although I'm not finished healing and I can definitely see the signs in someone that is emotionally unavailable and I don't feel compelled to hold onto them even though I may have liked them starting out. I like finding people that mirror the way I treat them so when that isn't being reciprocated and the balance isn't equal I know something's off.
@Carla-de2sz
3 жыл бұрын
WHATS SOOOOOOOOOO frustrating is that you can feel emotionally available, have great relationships with friends and family, and then flexing those emotionally available muscles is a lot harder when dating/developing a relationship.
@LealaniK
3 жыл бұрын
I've been so emotionally unavailable and now that I'm not, I can detect people who are from 758358651351km away... but sometimes they are so in disguise! I have just met someone who was really cool and everything was going sooo good and he disappeared like from one day to another. Looks like he got scared (?) I'm still waiting for some reply but I'm moving on, I want to meet new people. Well it's true I still want an explanation, an answer or something. What do you guys think?
@Hoyeaaaaaaah
3 жыл бұрын
Defining the line for boundaries is extremely hard, but it's definitely worth it. I CHOSE to pick emotionally unavailable people because it though since that's the way i rolled it would just be a lot easier, not realizing that its really unhealthy for both ends. I have yet to go to therapy for it because honestly I have a crap ton of messed up baggage and don't want to put that on someone else. Which is strange because it's literally their job. Sucks being a people pleaser:))
@Claudiadavena
3 жыл бұрын
This was extremely helpful and clear, thank you for creating this video
@chickennofly
3 жыл бұрын
what if there are 2 emotionally unavailable people dating each other? Me being the anxious type and him being the avoidant one? We broke it off after 6 months of talking/casual dating and then 2 months of being in a relationship. However, be both seem to have many difficulties of letting go and still see each other...
@ItsShanonMaglente
3 жыл бұрын
Just spitting facts!!!! Emotional availability/unavailability is so real 🥺
@gabriellas
2 жыл бұрын
yikes "I" am the emotionally unavailable partner :c
@iiheartyou13
3 жыл бұрын
I love the music you use in all your videos! Do you have a public Spotify account/playlist?
@olivia.jadesola
3 жыл бұрын
i loved this video and you look amazing!!! thank you for this series, Amy
@alphroditethemis261
3 жыл бұрын
danm im emotionally unavailable than...sucks cause i still get jealous
@mollyplusgrace
3 жыл бұрын
Amy I really needed this! I’ve been worrying about a certain guy (I realise I’ve been attracted to emotionally unavailable men) and this really made sense. Thank you so much Amy!
@hulagirl468085
3 жыл бұрын
Aloha Amy 🌺 Yay, first 💕
@fromaudreykao
3 жыл бұрын
* gets called out 7000 times in a single video * 🙃
@BeethovenIsGrumpyCat
3 жыл бұрын
I have no idea what that inner child is like because I cannot remember a time without wounds.
@cg8977
3 жыл бұрын
How do I send this to my mom without sending it to my mom....👀👀
@sarahvelazquez6723
3 жыл бұрын
love love love love you and this video ❤️❤️❤️
@ayomidetejuoso3455
3 жыл бұрын
I love your new hair so much, like so so much
@itsmefrenchy7036
3 жыл бұрын
This video read me for filth and I appreciate it loool
@angelikabatwoman
3 жыл бұрын
What a great thumbnail Amy!! Very artsy
@ariellahertzog8100
3 жыл бұрын
you just made me realize things i couldn't tell my psychologist or myself in fact :(
@haleydoland4588
3 жыл бұрын
THIS WOULD BE A RAD PODCAST!!
@htsprouse
3 жыл бұрын
i wish this video was longer @_@
@nicolenicole6325
3 жыл бұрын
Dating emotionally unavailable people made me unavailable in return. 😐 So I’m just gonna stay single until I soothe myself.
@sweetleaf2806
3 жыл бұрын
same here girl! we will overcome this
@welikelethabo
3 жыл бұрын
I think I’m early Yay
@denisemoore8536
3 жыл бұрын
your wise beyond your years kween - stay lit! xo
@hannah-clairevann7983
3 жыл бұрын
I live for these videos ❤️
@kileydelgado6817
3 жыл бұрын
Wait.... am I.... emotionally unavailable dating someone that is also emotionally unavailable 🤦♀️😭 omg. You blew my mind.
@ameliawang7506
3 жыл бұрын
amy!!! i have been watching you for years and feel your journey resonates with mine, esp with an asam identity. i recently heard some stuff online/tik tok about complex (cPTSD) and i'd love to hear your thoughts on it
@angeltheempresss
3 жыл бұрын
I love your use of mother/father wounds. I feel like mommy/daddy issues puts total blame on the child/unavailable adult. It's our individual jobs to heal our wounds, but saying mother/father wounds don't make it our fault for getting injured in the first place! Thank you for this video :)
@JaimePark
3 жыл бұрын
Wow this was so much needed for me as I just got out of a relationship w my partner. I was so confused bc he was completely fine the entire two years and WAS GREAT. I would classify as a super empath, HSP, even super emotionally available / but idk he just flipped a switch and became super emotionally unavailable out of nowhere and now everything seems to make sense. Thank you for this- it wasn’t easy to hear but it was def much needed 🙆🏻♀️
@esthershkolnikov7987
3 жыл бұрын
pls pls start a podcast!!
@uncoolalex
3 жыл бұрын
did I just cry??? yes
@mimizavz9004
3 жыл бұрын
Wow I really needed this, thank you Amy! I'm in this strange healing process where I have been aware that I'm emotionally unavailable for a while and been trying to do the work, and I have noticed improvement (woohoo). I've even noticed when guys aren't in my lane like you mentioned....but then when I find guys who are in my lane my emotionally unavailability is triggered and I push them away ahhh so cruel. :")
@lisaboateng701
3 жыл бұрын
hurt people hurt people
@burningseaa795
3 жыл бұрын
I'm watching your whole why love is hard playlist, Amy. After a 5 year relationship and engaged in the last 2 years.
@gracemolumphy4359
3 жыл бұрын
Amy, you are my best friend! Well, besides myself :) Love you so much, thank you for being apart of my healing journey!
@anishapatel7463
3 жыл бұрын
omg ngl I was about to ask you when you will make another episode of Why Love is Hard....manifestation I'm telling you.
@JustJRR
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for talking about this! It's good to feel like im not the only one talking about mental wellness on KZitem. 🙏🏾
@sunnylotus
3 жыл бұрын
I was seeing an emotionally unavailable person for almost a year. We didn’t label us as dating because we knew that emotions beyond physical attraction and friendly conversations are necessary to sustain a healthy relationship, but it still hurt a lot like a breakup when we decided to stop. This video helps me understand him more and know that it wasn’t that I wasn’t interesting enough for him to become available, so thank you for that, Amy.
@kimmanalo9748
3 жыл бұрын
Pleaseeeee do a podcast
@dryzhiuke
3 жыл бұрын
You really good at this Amy, thank you for sharing 💛🌈✨ going through my own self-healing journey, and giiiiiirrrlll, thats a journey for life and I cant even see the light 😅
@solindasol
3 жыл бұрын
I am emotionally unavailable that's why I am staying alone. I am really working on myself to heal and to pursue this beautiful adventure of learning to love myself. Thank you Amy! Kisses from France 🤍
@alicegiuditta
3 жыл бұрын
We love you so so so much, Amy ♥️ Thank you for all you share. You give the greatest gift by sharing your experiences of life with us so that we, too, can learn from them.
@circlinq
3 жыл бұрын
Genuinely don't know how to change that, to be honest. Being aware of it has never helped me being less emotionally available. Sadly.
@janedoe9923
3 жыл бұрын
I was just looking this exact topic up on line...ughhhhh your videos are so timely 🙏🏾
@binkbonl
3 жыл бұрын
I was with you but... dating multiple people at once or being poly doesn’t make someone emotionally unavailable
@rachelebono2683
3 жыл бұрын
I love that once I decided to finally give dating a try and put in so much work and love and communication and that person who wanted to get together was completely emotionally unavailable and now I’m terrified of being vulnerable again...
@candacealexac9432
3 жыл бұрын
I need 1 million beautiful souls to watch and resinate with your channel ! Thank you for being Amy
@sleepyem2109
3 жыл бұрын
Amy this is something I have known about myself and have not been willing to face for a long time. Thank you for speaking on this.
@danielle.moore.22
3 жыл бұрын
👏🏻 thank you
@louisescheonberg3437
3 жыл бұрын
this is so amazing ;____; do you have any favorite books on inner child work and emotional work?
@UraniumAngel
3 жыл бұрын
AN ANIME CHARACTER WHO IS GOING TO BEAT YOU UP.❤ Love you.
@hibiscuspinkglitter
3 жыл бұрын
I’m going to need Amy to make a podcast because she is literally saving my life💗
@callnottext
3 жыл бұрын
I love watching these videos and definitely feel like this video spoke to me in so many ways. This really brought me some clarity and I appreciate you for always putting these videos out there ❤️
@Inspiredbylethabo
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for making this insightful video. ❤️
@badasscrybb
3 жыл бұрын
Been nice to witness your vids transform over the years into being able 2 casually spitting str8 facts and debunk mental health myths while putting on make up. It's clear you've put in the time to internalise these a lot concepts for yourself and it's inspiring!
@lindapoder4007
3 жыл бұрын
omg, get a podcast!
@Keepin-it-gnarly
3 жыл бұрын
That was a much needed reminder to just get to know & enjoy yourself ❤️. Thx Amy for all the great work you do!
@agnerukaite5742
3 жыл бұрын
I am learning so much from your videos Amy! I am grateful for all that you do! You are truly my idol. Sending lots of love and good energy your way!
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